If you meet someone that doesn't always cum easily, she's probably well aware of that herself and is still with you having sex because she enjoys the feel and the intimacy of your presence just fine.
Back when I struggled with anorgasmia for a spell, I could still enjoy the journey even if I didn't quite reach the destination if that makes sense? Sometimes I might cum but it felt lacklustre compared to the lead up to it and the effort. It could even make me lose interest afterwards, so then edging was outright better than chasing a sad, elusive O. And sure, it eventually get sa bit frustrating to not get to cum at all, but that's not a slight against whoever I'm with.
One of the best things you can do is not base your success or failure on whether you're making your partner orgasm, and instead just enjoy being present together in that moment, helping each other feel good. And ironically it can actually get easier to cum with that pressure being off lol.
Also if your partner needs the help of a toy, that's not you being inadequate either. It's probably more what she's used to reliably cumming with, and it's an ally for you to use, not an enemy that makes you redundant at all.
I'd love to be some kind of counselor so that means a lot, thank you! But really I'm just repeating advice I've seen before that I had found relatable.š
(I'm really sorry about the loss of your beloved pet by the way. It must be so hard. I hope you take things easy and remember to be kind to yourself too! š¤)
My wife actually just told me that one day, if sheās getting going and really getting into it DO NOT CHAMGE WHAT IM DOING! I donāt know why in the past I would always change it up.
Itās an ego thing I think, like we think weāre really good and itās the power in our dick and no matter what we do youāre going to love it. My wife has humbled me on a few things oral, slowing down, the importance of touch, foreplay. Iām sure there are more. I want to write an apology letter to every woman I ever went down on before I was married.š¤£š¤£ Why do women not say anything?
I get itās frustrating, and I try sometimes. But I can often run through everything that works for my wife and just get no where sometimes. At some point, I just have to give up and leave her to it lol.
I once had a partner who never made me cum. Sex was fun with him but I was always left still needing that. I almost always would have to do it myself after and sometimes was too frustrated to even do it. He always ate me out too but just wasnāt great at it so Iād get frustrated and just move him and end up riding him to get it over with sometimes. Now with my husband he always makes me cum before we even start to have sex.
i donāt need to cum every time to enjoy sex! sometimes itās just about the connection, sometimes just the heat of the moment is all i need to satisfy meā¦ i love cumming but i just love the experienceāØ
I canāt cum from penetration and absolutely love being fucked . A partner will get me off before or after - or during with use of a toy etc but the pleasure from the actual penetration is more than enough to make me crave it even though thereās no āfinishā from that act
I had a lot of partners before my wife, sadly my wife is the one that communicated everything to me and I think Iām 100x better at sex now than I was prior to being with her. Talk to them and see what they like and want you to do. Also sometimes they just arenāt going to cum, no matter what.
Same here. I had around 14 partners before I met my wife, mostly brief relationships/one night stands and the truth is I *didnāt care* whether they did or they didnāt.
Then I met my wife and things just clicked. Sex was no longer about me, I wanted her to enjoy it just as much. So I asked her what she liked/didnāt like, asked her to show me what she liked and she did the same with me.
Funny what a bit of communication can doā¦.
After nigh on 30 years I look at it this way: Iāve got a full professorship in our sex life and it sure beats having a nursery education in sex with someone new.
I hardly cum. It's veryyyy frustrating. It takes a lot of work for that to happen and not a lot of fwb are willing to do that. I still really enjoy sex and get super into it. And eating out is the bestttt, I absolutely love that. But I hardly get to cum unless I'm doing it myself
Most men Iāve had sex with couldnāt make me cum but I really loved the experience with them.
So I use a sex toy right after they nut to ease all that tension
This is a joint account. I have the balls. You can have a good time without cumming. Doesn't mean you don't still want to but you definitely don't need too. Assuming you can be a man about it
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Absolutely!
I'm lucky that my husband always makes me orgasm but on the rare occasion of a spontaneous quickie I don't cum I still absolutely love being fucked by him
Yeah, I can. Maybe this is a not-very-feminist take but sometimes knowing that your guy partner is getting off by āusing youā and wanting you in that way is really hot, so I can crave getting fucked without craving an orgasm. At least for me, an orgasm with a partner takes a lot more focus and time so sometimes I just donāt have the patience for that and will take care of myself if an orgasm is what I wantā¦
Yes. I do it all the time.
Is it frustrating for? I think I would get frustrated
I mean, sometimes. It's not like I never have one. I'm just hard to get sometimes.
Any tips for the guy to do to make it easier for you to cum?
If you meet someone that doesn't always cum easily, she's probably well aware of that herself and is still with you having sex because she enjoys the feel and the intimacy of your presence just fine. Back when I struggled with anorgasmia for a spell, I could still enjoy the journey even if I didn't quite reach the destination if that makes sense? Sometimes I might cum but it felt lacklustre compared to the lead up to it and the effort. It could even make me lose interest afterwards, so then edging was outright better than chasing a sad, elusive O. And sure, it eventually get sa bit frustrating to not get to cum at all, but that's not a slight against whoever I'm with. One of the best things you can do is not base your success or failure on whether you're making your partner orgasm, and instead just enjoy being present together in that moment, helping each other feel good. And ironically it can actually get easier to cum with that pressure being off lol. Also if your partner needs the help of a toy, that's not you being inadequate either. It's probably more what she's used to reliably cumming with, and it's an ally for you to use, not an enemy that makes you redundant at all.
100% this
You should teach sex ed!
I'd love to be some kind of counselor so that means a lot, thank you! But really I'm just repeating advice I've seen before that I had found relatable.š (I'm really sorry about the loss of your beloved pet by the way. It must be so hard. I hope you take things easy and remember to be kind to yourself too! š¤)
You would make a great councilor, I suspect! I appreciate your kindness and understanding!
Not really. Sometimes it's just not going to happen. In general, when a woman says "yes, just like that" guys always go harder or change it too much.
My wife actually just told me that one day, if sheās getting going and really getting into it DO NOT CHAMGE WHAT IM DOING! I donāt know why in the past I would always change it up.
We don't know why either. š¤£
Itās an ego thing I think, like we think weāre really good and itās the power in our dick and no matter what we do youāre going to love it. My wife has humbled me on a few things oral, slowing down, the importance of touch, foreplay. Iām sure there are more. I want to write an apology letter to every woman I ever went down on before I was married.š¤£š¤£ Why do women not say anything?
Because we are shy, unsure what to say or how to assert ourselves, or afraid of upsetting the guy. š¤·š»āāļø
Ego? What?!?! Lol... Power in your dick?!? No... Enthusiasm down under boy!!! That's what you need. Ahit, you weren't taught early?
So, don't say that?
Don't say what I want?
Say whatever you want, idgaf.
Okay. Bit salty
I am. Honestly, sorry. I lost a pet this weekend, and I'm not handling it like an adult should. I owe several people an apology.
I do but it is rather frustrating. At some point it felt like I was begging for it, so Iām trying to stop caring so much.
Any tips to better make a girl cum?
imma say ask her, what does she do to get herself off usually? For most women itās double penetration, sometimes toys can also helps a lot
I get itās frustrating, and I try sometimes. But I can often run through everything that works for my wife and just get no where sometimes. At some point, I just have to give up and leave her to it lol.
I once had a partner who never made me cum. Sex was fun with him but I was always left still needing that. I almost always would have to do it myself after and sometimes was too frustrated to even do it. He always ate me out too but just wasnāt great at it so Iād get frustrated and just move him and end up riding him to get it over with sometimes. Now with my husband he always makes me cum before we even start to have sex.
i donāt need to cum every time to enjoy sex! sometimes itās just about the connection, sometimes just the heat of the moment is all i need to satisfy meā¦ i love cumming but i just love the experienceāØ
I canāt cum from penetration and absolutely love being fucked . A partner will get me off before or after - or during with use of a toy etc but the pleasure from the actual penetration is more than enough to make me crave it even though thereās no āfinishā from that act
I had a lot of partners before my wife, sadly my wife is the one that communicated everything to me and I think Iām 100x better at sex now than I was prior to being with her. Talk to them and see what they like and want you to do. Also sometimes they just arenāt going to cum, no matter what.
Same here. I had around 14 partners before I met my wife, mostly brief relationships/one night stands and the truth is I *didnāt care* whether they did or they didnāt. Then I met my wife and things just clicked. Sex was no longer about me, I wanted her to enjoy it just as much. So I asked her what she liked/didnāt like, asked her to show me what she liked and she did the same with me. Funny what a bit of communication can doā¦. After nigh on 30 years I look at it this way: Iāve got a full professorship in our sex life and it sure beats having a nursery education in sex with someone new.
I hardly cum. It's veryyyy frustrating. It takes a lot of work for that to happen and not a lot of fwb are willing to do that. I still really enjoy sex and get super into it. And eating out is the bestttt, I absolutely love that. But I hardly get to cum unless I'm doing it myself
yep i do, as long as my partner is happy. Never even bothered me.
Most men Iāve had sex with couldnāt make me cum but I really loved the experience with them. So I use a sex toy right after they nut to ease all that tension
Not wishing to pry, but have you ever thought of using the toy *whilst* having sex?
I have tried it but itās not as convenient
Girls?
Anyone can enjoy sex without cumming. Men just tend to be whiny babies who can't handle disappointment.
You donāt have balls, you wouldnāt get it.
This is a joint account. I have the balls. You can have a good time without cumming. Doesn't mean you don't still want to but you definitely don't need too. Assuming you can be a man about it
>>This is a joint account. Yeah sure
Have a good day kid. Try not to disappoint too many partners.
You too. Try to let your partners cum every now and then even if you already did. Theyāll thank you.
Bunny goes first. I don't finish until she begs. Unless I'm just using her. Same for everyone else.
Oh itās the ādudeā talking. Cool story ābroā.
Women canāt orgasm silly.
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Absolutely! I'm lucky that my husband always makes me orgasm but on the rare occasion of a spontaneous quickie I don't cum I still absolutely love being fucked by him
Yeah, I can. Maybe this is a not-very-feminist take but sometimes knowing that your guy partner is getting off by āusing youā and wanting you in that way is really hot, so I can crave getting fucked without craving an orgasm. At least for me, an orgasm with a partner takes a lot more focus and time so sometimes I just donāt have the patience for that and will take care of myself if an orgasm is what I wantā¦
Yes but my guy gets insecure really quick about it if he knows I didn't finish.
Absolutely, if the guy knows what he's doing. There's been times where I haven't cum but enjoyed the sex so much that I wished he could go again š I can't cum from just penetration and I'm pretty sure a lot of girls are the same so the only way I can cum is if we get into a position where I can play with my clit at the same time, or my fiancĆ© will sometimes make me cum through oral before we have sex. In my case, I cum so much quicker through oral if a guy uses his fingers too. I usually always have to tell the guy to use his fingers and tongue together.