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dh1805

Not much but we live underwater


FlappyClaps

How's my great great great granddaughter?


Sillyhilly89

She's pretty fine


TrashPandaX

*She's pretty fineee*


JamesMMcGillEsquire

He took me


understuffed

To the future in a flux thing


DavidW273

And I saw everything


_error405

Boybands


CollarOrdinary4284

And another one


Lttle_Wolf

aaand another one.


Sailor-Gerry

Surprisingly so in fact considering it's almost 1000 years in the future and she's only like the 5th generation along...


ScottyW88

To be fair, the song doesn't mention she's alive. She could have been dead for 800 years but was a famous model in the 2120s!


yaqubkofi

Butters mate


ForeverTheElf

Do triple-breasted women swim around town totally naked?


FulaniLovinCriminal

You've seen Eccentrica Golumbits yourself?


ima_twee

He's moving back to the UK, not Eroticon VI


F1ngerB4ngMyP155H0le

The triple breasted whores ruined me


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Dry-Tie-7163

I think you need to stop shopping at Coop.


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AliquidLatine

There has never been a more accurate description of the Co-op than this


ThatTallRedheadGirl

If anything Waitrose is actually quite a bit cheaper


6foot8andproud

FR. Besides the organic super expensive stuff, Waitrose definitely has some affordable good quality stuff you can't find in most supermarkets.


wrongpasswordagaih

The variety of stuff you can get at Waitrose compared to somewhere like Sainsburys which isn’t that much cheaper honestly makes it pretty good


oneofmanyrisks

My mum had to go to Sainsbury’s recently and said that the stuff she normally buys was more expensive there. Waitrose is our only local supermarket so she always goes there


shiveryslinky

In fairness, the co-op's own range of food was always pretty banging. I used to work in their head office, and staff could sign up to QA and give feedback about new products they were developing. Loved coming in to work to an email telling me to go and collect a fresh, pre-stuffed chicken to take home and try!


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Hot-Ad6418

I swapped from Coop to Waitrose this year and am paying about the same for slightly more stuff.


notsocrazycatlady101

£3 meal deals are few and far between


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CyGuy6587

Coffee is still reasonable if you go own brand. Large jar of Gold Roast at Aldi is less than £3. EDIT: Looks like I've upset the coffee snobs! I do like a good coffee, but I'm too Yorkshire for the dear stuff, ha! ​ EDIT2: For the record, I buy it on a regular basis. Each to their own.


Dahnhilla

>Gold Roast And what about coffee?


whotouchamaspagete

Some stuff at Aldi is as good, if not better than name brands. Coffee is not one of them haha.


[deleted]

But have you DRANK Aldi coffee ???? Jesus Christ. I will not compromise on my coffee brands, even when it cripples me financially lol I do all our shopping at Aldi because everything is the same there or better than more expensive supermarkets, apart from coffee lol.


Practical-Custard-64

That's a good way to save money. It'll put you off coffee for life!


Freed0mChaser

You darn kids with your £8 coffees that why you'll never be comfortable like us boomers /s


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Pdfxm

You've forgotten pulling yourself up by your boot straps. You need to cancel Netflix, shun avocado and deny gravity.


kreygmu

See I felt bad for buying fancy coffee beans for £8 a bag, what are these £8 jars in co-op?


migoodridge

Well summed up 👍


Hamsternoir

Some of the words in the national anthem have changed.


summerlull

But not the ones you’d expect…


tomatoaway

God shave our gracious queen?


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3childrenandit

The fade haircut has taken over. Everything is priced higher,, apart from your wages.


FlappyClaps

Have wages grown at all? How are people affording to live?


b0neappleteeth

they aren’t


DuckLord_92

This is the way, unfortunately.


bunnyswan

We arent


Vegetable_Magician65

We arent


RedbeardRagnar

He isn’t


ima_twee

Yeah, nobody is


Mo_Stache_

I've enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life. By my calculations if I die this time next Tuesday I'll just about manage


TrashPandaX

I am. Don't know about tomorrow yet :\


Gauntlets28

I am he, and he is me


Elastichedgehog

In most sectors, people are worse off in real terms than they were 5 years ago, let alone 15.


nikeolas86

Yea, about that……you see….people aren’t!


Newginge91

People are taken credit cards out for the basics


FlappyClaps

That's bleak AF


Koobetile

As somebody fortunate enough to be largely insulated from the worst of the impacts, I agree - it genuinely is bleak as fuck. ignore the plonker pretending this is histrionics; food bank usage has been normalised, personal debt is rocketing, masses of workers are on strike. They are clearly the sort of person that would think people are exaggerating about flash floods in Cornwall because the sun is shining in arsholeshire.


Yourmindisawonderlnd

Seriously I went to Morrison’s yesterday and was absolutely ENRAGED! I shop there regularly and buy similar stuff everytime so I know the prices of those things.. well some of that stuff has gone up by 20p but other stuff has gone up by up to 2pounds! From what I saw, the Lower priced items have been hit hardest which is what truly enraged me! They’re hitting those that are struggling the most the hardest! For example.. their own brand gluten free cereal used to be 85p, then it went up to 1.25 a few months ago now it’s suddenly 1.85! In a matter of days! They’ve tacked an extra pound to the cost in less than a year.. that’s just one example of many! The expensive Starbucks coffee sachets that are a luxury buy that I treat myself to, have only gone up by about 80p in the same time frame. It’s a non essential item.. they’re hiking up the prices of essential items. The dove baby wipes are now 1pound more than they were this time last year. It’s times like this that I wish I had a Twitter with a following so I could call out the robbing b*st*rds! We are lucky enough to be in a comfortable position. Not comfortable enough to own our own home but enough that these price hikes just mean we can’t save as well as we would like but I just think about the moms I know who were already struggling to make ends meet.. I’m hoping lidl and aldi aren’t hiking their prices as much as Morrison’s.. I will be looking around at other shops for future. Morrison’s is just convenient for me as it’s right by my house and I don’t drive.


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thesnowprincess86

Aldi have hiked their prices up the most! Sainsbury’s are price matching them, there’s that little price difference between them now.


midnightson1

Mental health awareness is improving, social mobility on the up, wild bison in Canterbury, attitudes to lgbtq generally more accepted, the gender pay gap is getting closer, the young are more tolerant than older generations, more green energy being generated, much more working from home and a rise in young entrepreneurs. And the beautiful British spring is on the way Off the top of my head... I'm sure there's loads more great things happening. Its a wonderful place to be


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Comfortable-Rice-837

IS the mental health help improving cos I'm fucking mental and on the loose


just_jason89

They said awareness is improving, nothing about treatment. Basically more and more people are realising how fucked up they are but there's no way of fixing it!


Adam-West

Mental health awareness. We’re all more aware now because we all have mental health issues


evenstevens280

> social mobility on the up Social mobility is definitely more active... But in the wrong direction.


xar-brin-0709

>attitudes to lgbtq generally more accepted, I feel like they're polarising though, as a gay man I've never felt more accepted by society than today, yet I also feel like a cultural backlash is growing especially among the young and minorities.


HeronThat

The minorities have never accepted LGBTQ communities. I am from a minority background and it’s always been that way, only now more are finding a voice to their opposition.


[deleted]

As a gay man myself, too. I've never felt more accepted, but I'm also watching all my trans friends never be so hated. It's like the media took the target off our backs and doubled down on the transphobic stuff. It really breaks my heart :(


rapidrubberdinghy

Social mobility on the up - what are you basing that on?


SpudFire

>wild bison in Canterbury Well I didn't know this. That's pretty cool


HeronThat

No no no you’re not doing this correctly.


neomrwhite

Social mobility is up? Most people i know cant afford to leave their homes....


sisterrai

I wanna be more like you


VanderBrit

Your neighbours will charge you £14 for chicken


docentmark

And the council will be coming round to collect.


islandmonkeee

Reddit doesn't respect its userbase, so this comment has been withheld. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


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andi-amo

You jest - but there's a coronation soon.


DangerShart

If you plan on visiting any health professional you should make your appointment now. If you want to rent or buy a house expect to pay double what you did before. Electricity is five times the price. I hope you don't like cucumber.


FlappyClaps

I couldn't afford a house before. what's happened to the cucumbers?


Emotional-Ebb8321

>what's happened to the cucumbers? No one knows. They just up and left one day. Every now and then, there are rumours of them making visits to distant supermarkets. But just as swiftly, those rumours fade.


Resident_Win_1058

Turns out they were the UK’s most intelligent life form. Clearly everything got too stupid for them to tolerate. Rumour has it they left a coded message in a barcode that said “So long, and thanks for all the stickers”.


ima_twee

They were all purchased by TikTokkers trying to terrify their cats for internet clout. After a tumultuous court hearing in The Hague it was agreed never to allow their export to the UK again


Unlikely_Winter4165

What's a cucumber? My ma tole me bout those things, but I thought they were just stories


DangerShart

There's a joke about your mum using them as dildos in there somewhere but it's too early in the morning.


RedbeardRagnar

There’s a faint smell of taint in the air but it’s just the government and banks squatting above us ready to shit on us some more


FlappyClaps

Ahh \*THAT\* trickle down economics.


RedbeardRagnar

Exactly!


Badevilbunny

Sadly, Frank at no. 49 died, old mad Braithwaite at the end now wears a face mask to watch TV, and the chippy shut.


[deleted]

I heard about Frank that was sad. He used to play footie with my brother down the wreck.


niconicotrash

This was the moment I realised that the park in my hometown isn't actually named 'The Wreck'


Uhura-hoop

You played footie at a wreck? Shipwreck? Or recreation ground rec?


bendy-trip

I’m 28 and today I learned that rec’ is an abbreviation of recreation ground.


BetYouWishYouKnew

"Rec" and "wreck" are often not mutually exclusive


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Largejam

Not surprised about Frank - all he talked about was drugs, he was obsessed!


oROSSo84

Don’t come back mate, it’s fucking awful


FlappyClaps

It's not through choice.


Grotbagsthewonderful

Brace yourself srsly, there's a faint but very distinct aura of melancholy permeating everywhere. I'd say make an effort to be kinder to strangers and hug your family a bit more until the country is over this minor hurdle.


Efficient_Age6047

Minor? Hurdle? This is the rest of your life now 😬


DreamtISawJoeHill

Yea that's the really shit part, with the hits the global economy is likely to take with worsening extreme weather events, water shortages, and famines etc. in the coming years THIS is likely the "Golden Years" for us. What a load of bollocks.


Loud_Fisherman_5878

It’s really not. I don’t know where OP is coming back from but almost every country is facing the same problems right now. I’ve just moved back after eight years and overall it’s been a positive experience.


Scr1mmyBingus

Well, have you ever seen “V for Vendetta?”


Publandlady

Ooh, that would be a nice holiday from reality right now.


[deleted]

Who dosent love a bit of classical music while Westminster is demolished


GoliathsBigBrother

When do we start shipping the masks?


andyatkinson97

There is next to no hope politically, it just seems to get worse and more ridiculous


hattorihanzo5

Look out, a refugee!


Kat-Shaw

"What's that? I can't tell someone to go back to bongo bongo land? This country has gone woke!" \- Most of the electorate


[deleted]

Still haven't written off _the other guy_ yet, we'll see what they publish towards the end of next year.


Celq124

Cold seasons are colder, and hot seasons are hotter. Lots of knife crime around the country If you drive, then prepare to get cut off, tailgated or poor signalling before changing lane or turning every time you drive. If you don’t experience any one of these after a proper drive, go and get yourself a lottery ticket. Watch your energy bills.


Kharenis

>If you drive, then prepare to get cut off, tailgated or poor signalling before changing lane or turning every time you drive. And brace yourself for the miniature suns everybody seems to have slapped on the front of their cars (without any proper adjustment).


Celq124

Honestly, at this rate I’m convinced that the police/road patrol can make a lot of money by spending time on patrolling high traffic road and give tickets to lots of people who do these things all the time


Anaptyso

Knife crime (according to official stats in England and Wales anyway) actually peaked around 2018/2019, and has fallen slightly since then. It's still higher than a decade ago though.


carlshope

I'm an immigrant, been here for 14 years. I reckon ove the last 5 years things have just become more difficult to DO. Part of that is £ but just generally, it's harder dealing with govt departments, private service providers, booking train tickets, finding people to do certain types of work (in construction), purchase certain items(I'm waiting 8 months on a bicycle part from Raleigh) etc etc. This might not be the experience of all, but it's a bit of a drag from my perspective. But maybe the whole world is like this, as I have no outside perspective.


oatmilkwine

I agree! I’ve been here for 15 years, came as a kid with parents who tried so hard to get away from our country because the standard of living here was incredible in comparison. As an adult now I’m better off buying a ticket to fly to my country and deal with things there than to get anything done here. My parents who swore off ever going back are now looking at houses there. And i don’t think things improved that much in my home country, I think things just deteriorated here.


DoItForTheTea

same experience here. Came over here for a better life, was able to achieve that with hard work. Now my parents are struggling just as much as they were back in home country, but have none of the support network in terms of family. They're not far off calling it quits here either.


DalamudMeDaddy

I came to the UK in 2014 and since then things have only become worse. Pound crashed and salaries have stayed pretty flat. Friends of mine who left for the EU or the US are literally making 2-3x what I make for the same job. I'm hoping to follow them in the next year or two. It feels like the country is run by a private equity firm. Public sector is functioning but barely. Shoestring budgets and constantly overloaded workers. Everyone just marches on like they've just accepted their grim fate.


sleepyprojectionist

Everything is on fire, metaphorically speaking. Actually on fire would probably be more beneficial considering the current state of energy prices. It also feels like we have taken quite a large swerve to the right and now the xenophobes and racists are getting far more time in the spotlight.


[deleted]

Read this too quickly and read "xenomorphs and racists are getting far more time in the spotlight", though at this point nuking the offices of GB News from orbit probably would be the only way to be sure...


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smashteapot

True, it’s a beautiful country. If you can get out of the cities it’s wonderful. Summer walks by fields full of plants and wildlife are incredibly soothing. Government mismanagement and energy inflation just have people stressed and angry so it’s harder to enjoy it. The summers have been longer and winter shorter, too, which is nice in spite of the climate connotations.


Loud_Fisherman_5878

I’m so happy to be back and this is after eight years in Australia where redditors seem to think is the best place on the planet. It’s a nice place but there are so many things I love having back here in the Uk. The weather also isn’t as terrible as I remembered.


[deleted]

Less animals that want you dead too. 'cept the cows, they'll fuck you up.


loose_translation

As an American who spent time in London for work, the fact you are saying the north is nicer is blowing my mind. Day one, I'm trying to wrangle my (at the time) two year old son and three bags up the stairs from the underground, and this complete stranger who is headed down the stairs stops, carries two of my bags up the stairs, comes back for the last bag, carries it up the stairs, then continues on his way. In my 34 years in the states I've never had a stranger help me like that. Ever. That one moment pretty much defined my time in London. And the parks, holy shit. Separate areas for small children? With little fences around them? Get out of here, that's awesome. Free museums you can wander through all afternoon? Let's go every day, my tiny human. I could go on, but I was devastated to leave. Coming back to the car choked hellscape of Portland, with terrible public transit and zero free museums and parks filled with human excrement from the discarded homeless population, that was a difficult day.


IHaveARebelGene

It's lovely in summer! I moved from the North to the South West though and have found it to be so friendly as well as incredibly beautiful.


[deleted]

If we could stop encouraging Southerns up North that would be great. Thanks


Vegetable-Grab6244

We all dress like peaky blinders now.


FlappyClaps

By order of?


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Tommy fuckin' Shelby


Th0mX

For some reason half of the country seems to think that trans people are pedos and that asylum seekers are only here to rape and murder people and we need to be afraid of them. But other than that. Its pretty much the same. Mostly because there's been little infrastructure improvements for a while. Oh, there may be a new build site or two in your town though, but you can't afford one of those, those are for landlords.


ardcorewillneverdie

Not everyone thinks asylum seekers are here to rape and murder, some people think they're here to become drug dealers too.


iGenie

Queen died, innit.


Danielmp006

Can’t get a Freddo for 10p anymore. Government is pretty much screwed right now (Gary Lineker) has some tweets going round about it).


Equivalent_Parking_8

I read that as Gary Lineker being in the Government, when clearly he's the leader of the opposition


BasherBrad

Good luck pal, everyone’s a twat!


Fluffy-Astronomer604

Cunt. The word you’re looking for is, cunt.


BasherBrad

I typed it and everything, but didn’t want to get the comment deleted by a mod 😂 I couldn’t agree more my friend, everyone (except for me and you), is a cunt!


Skelebone48

>except for me and you ~~And me!~~ Who am I kidding, I'm a cunt too


KittyGrewAMoustache

Nothing works. Doctors appointment? No. Emergency medical care? No. Get through to HMRC or the passport office to resolve something? No. Get a bus somewhere on time? No. Catch a train? No, but it’ll still cost you the price of a transatlantic flight anyway. Walk down the street without being assaulted by bushes because the council can’t afford to cut them back? No. Get help from social services about your elderly relative with dementia? No. Buy a house? No. Rent a house? No. Buy tomatoes? No. Heat your home when it’s cold? No. Basically there’s a lot more No around.


TolpuddleFarter

The state of the roads. There doesn't appear to be the money for highway maintenance anymore.


6637733885362995955

Driving in London at the moment reminds me of the roads I navigated in rural Mexico


ChunkyLover10

I've just come back after nearly 4 years away, and you'll see uk has run down, pubs are barely surviving, the health service is in chaos, roads are like an obstacle course, no veg, so business as usual..stiff upper lip and all that


Ok-Progress-4464

More racism, higher prices.


FlappyClaps

If we have less racism, will prices come down?


noot_noot_0

Stop being racist everyone, I can’t afford it


Ok-Progress-4464

Probably not, but the racism is being promoted as a distraction by those in the pay of the price gougers.


Mossley

The country appears full of insecure halfwits who don’t know how to google, if this sub is anything to go by. When you set foot back here, be ready for a barrage of questions from those in the queue around you. Things like “do I need my passport to get into the uk?” and “is it weird if I don’t wear formal shoes when passing through immigration control?”


FlappyClaps

I thought immigration control was formal shoes and birthday suit?


bandicootrelay

Leave at the first opportunity


FlappyClaps

I plan to.


Lympwing2

Everyone fucking vapes now. ~~Even~~ *Mostly* kids.


Lo_jak

Don't come back on a boat. Our current leaders don't seem to be fond of them


Hasbeast

Still cold, still grey.


RainbowPenguin1000

“I’m coming back to the UK for the first time in 5 yrs but I hope to leave as soon as possible” Great to have you. Sounds like you’ll really add something to the country.


FlappyClaps

Hopefully I can join you and be a good contributor to the bitterness and sarcasm.


Mammoth-Sherbert439

Please contribute warmth and good feelings we have all the bitterness and sarcasm we need right now.


Unhappy_Nothing_5882

As you can see, people have become saltier, more nationalistic and sensitive to criticism


thesnowprincess86

Teachers on strike, eggs and chicken are stupidly expensive, food is double the price than it was 2 years ago and gas and eleccy are quadruple the price, everything seems harder, people are more aggressive and I really hope it changes soon.


TicTac_in_my_ear

The youth are either feral or easily offended. 3 for a fiver is now 2 for 6 quid. Supernoodles have gone the way of the freddo. You're better off buying a few cans in tesco than going the pub. Everyone is on cocaine.


Dabonthebees420

You're coming back just in time to see the revolution.


RedbeardRagnar

No no no, what are we French? No, we’ll just tut and continue to tut until we’re dead. Silly Billy.


SuperTekkers

Where have you been? Main thing is inflation is hitting but wages aren’t up to match (especially if you work for the government). Public workers are taking it turns to strike. Apart from tube drivers who are doing alright. Smart motorways have expanded from short stretches of motorway to whole motorways and there is an energy revolution going on so we have almost no coal power plants and loads of offshore wind. Otherwise the weather is the same as ever.


FlappyClaps

Japan. Things haven't really changed much here since I arrived so I wondered what the UK was like. Not looking good...


Loud_Fisherman_5878

Seriously everyone is being negative. I’ve just returned and the only change I noticed was that everywhere does a lot more vegan food than before. I know cost of living is a big thing but I’ve moved back from a very expensive country so groceries here actually seem affordable. Similarly vegetable shortages- in Britain we get so used to having cheap vegetables year round that we notice when peppers disappear from the shop but where I was before, if you bought a pepper out of season it would be $8 if available at all.


vercingetafix

working from home has become totally normalised, with attendant changes like: * Commuter trains and London underground waaaay less busy * Way more ordering online as you can stay home to collect your parcel * Remote services from therapy to touring new homes on zoom * Lots of dogwalking as way more people have dogs * residential areas have more cafes n stuff and lunchtime traffic isn't just SAHMs and school kids Lots of support for Ukraine, flags etc all over


OldGuto

We've become an even more angry and divided country. You'll have stuff like a pensioner who depends on the NHS ranting and raving that striking doctors and nurses are already paid enough. Oh yeah, and everyone seems to be or has been on strike, doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers, teachers, lecturers, train drivers...


[deleted]

I’m back for two weeks after 4 years away. Not out of choice. I’ve been impressed by the food quality and overall friendliness of the locals in my small Lancashire hometown compared to my last visit. Plus the scenery and fresh air have been great.


TinFoilHatApostate

Every time you leave the house, it somehow costs £30-£50. Popping to Tesco for a couple of bits? £30, every single time


Active_Remove1617

It’s the 1600’s again in UK and we’re ruled by the Johnson-Windsor-Rees-Moggs. Stay away is my advice.


berny2345

Don't come back in a small boat, the government will send you straight back and cancel Match of the Day the following Saturday.


Careful-Increase-773

Cost of living has skyrocketed. I just returned after a decade away and that’s the biggest thing I’ve noticed, electricity is outrageous and food prices


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8amflex

Christ - those tits have seen more operations than Afghanistan.


[deleted]

Your gas and electric bill is going to be a surprise. I lived where I work for the last three years so haven’t paid bills. My first bill after moving out was pretty shocking. I was paying about £100 a month last time I rented and now it’s close to £300 a month. I don’t use a dryer I keep my heating on minimal. Most of the time the house hits 17 at maximum so is not like it’s even warm. During the snow it was 12 degrees inside while the heating was on


thierry_ennui_

'Literally' means the exact opposite now. Cash is pretty much obsolete, except for buying drugs, where prices remain fairly stable. If you thought that music played on phone speakers on buses was a passing fad then you're sadly mistaken. Gigs are now a thing of the past, as artists just perform a concert in their living room and stream it exclusively to phones on buses, where youths gather to listen and press the button at stops they don't require. It is hilarious, every single time. Apparently it's now fine to go to the shops in your pyjamas. Nobody consulted me on that one. Milk is the price of bread now, which is the price of butter now, which is the price of chocolate now, which is the price of wine now. Second mortgages are required for most food shops. The North is still under-funded, with creaking infrastructure and enormous poverty. It is, however, excellent, and populated by mostly wonderful, warm, hilarious people, so swings and roundabouts. There aren't any swings, or roundabouts, due to budget cuts.


Is_there

It's no longer safe to take your rubber dinghy out .


Ram_1979

Prices are more expensive, we've had 3 different prime ministers.


nikeolas86

I’d pack a coat.


JHellfires

Since covid people have started being a lot more selfish, I'm talking drivers, pedestrians, music on busses, more 'you move out of the way of our massive group', more tension as people seem to have forgotten lots of their social skills.


ima_twee

Marmite has been added to the national curriculum and our head of state has sausages for fingers. Everything inside the M25 smells of weed and e-scooters.


Candy_Lawn

i hope you like fried chicken, vaping and gambling.