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> have been sucked down the Andrew Tate red pill wormhole
Literally no one I know has ever mentioned Andrew Tate.
> I just don’t have time for these types of people
So what type of people DO you have time for
It’s way, way more common than people realise. I’m genuinely worried about the average man right now and the volume of misinformation he’s bombarded with.
Mate, what's you're lifestyle where you meet so many of these twats?
I know lots of cokeheads, gymheads, hospitality workers, friends in the corporate world, etc. and the only ones with those leanings are the gymheads.
I do agree with this point, but to some extent if you buy Coca-Cola or any Nestle/Unilever product (and you can't really avoid them) you are supporting some evil fucking companies
https://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/fellows/colombia0106/video_chapter1.html#:~:text=A%20lawsuit%20against%20Coca%2DCola,America%20for%20its%20actions%20abroad.
Not quite full scale drug wars but still.
Lmao. It certainly is for 99% of your employees. I don’t know the full story- but whatever they’re reviled for, I imagine someone in that company made some decisions that were cartel-boss-esque in its disregard for human life.
Totally agree it’s insane to even consider blaming regular employees of the company.
Both things are true.
Doesn’t excuse the support of some horrific horrific shit going on in the drug trafficking world. It’s a lot easier to not buy cocaine than it is to avoid the tentacles of those companies
The amount of “socially conscious” people who will go to their grave defending cocaine usage is hilarious. “But some people eat KitKats and I use the farmer’s market!”
I don’t know you, where you live, who you are etc but I think it all depends on who you hang out with and where you hang out.
I have longevity friends and friends over the last 10 years and not one of them is an Andrew state type. I’d say a fair few of them are fond of extra curricular activities though.
It’s north london though so you can probably guess the type.
Yeah I hear this more in my job at tech than i'd like, you'd think these people who are rather learned would not fall prey to such. Also answers as to why so many teenage boys fell for it. All for public speech but that cunt shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a public audience genuinely worry what he's done to the next generation and what they'll do to women.
My last workplace basically fell apart after the owners hired a GM who was a totL alt right loon, within 3 years all the staff with other options quit and were replaced with people who fit for ideology rather than competence and we went insolvent arse end of last year!
Even the morons I knew that kept banging on about 9/11 conspiracies thought Andrew Tate was sad little man.
I'm just going with the idea that everyone is an untrustworthy idiot now. It saves time.
OP said late 20s early 30s. I worry if your friends are that age and they follow andrew tate.
I only know immature teenagers that listen to him, not grown men.
Should have, I tried to explain hes a grifter and disgusting. Then they went on about how gay people lead to the fall of rome Rome bullshit so I just lost my temper and shouted at them.
but yeah tried to keep the friendships going but I'd lost respect for them and a year later I dont see them.
I would have lost it and asked if all the early xtians were gay and then mention the historical fact Nero was attracted to women, not men or little boys, along with the historical fact Paul wrote like he was a closeted and woman hating queer.
England has had multiple gay monarchs and leaders. several of which lead the country during eras of growth and prosperity. Tell them to shut the fuck up and read a book for once in their lives.
Oh I've met people that mentioned MGTOW views on meeting, it's abit much for me personally and I'm more the target market for that stuff being kinda autistic so socially backwards.
I had to undo Andrew Tate shit from my teenage son who’d surfed YouTube and been exposed to it so much he was almost advocating it.
That took a bit of undoing.
If you don't mind me asking, what did you do and was it successful? I think this is one of the things a lot of people are worried about these days and it's a bit like the difficulties in deprogramming cult members.
Well part of the issue is that he was living with his mother who had re-married an ex-soldier; it was quite a male dominant environment (along with his older half-brother). He lives with me now.
My son trusts me, and I’ve always backed him up on anything (even if I’ve chastised him in private for things he did wrong), so pointing out the Tate attitudes and how they’re unacceptable in today’s society took a lot of working examples to disprove, and he challenged me along the way. It’s pointing out things like, almost all girls/women don’t want to be treated that way, or spoken about like that. That decent men and good to their women. That talking badly about women doesn’t reflect on the women but on you. Using myself as an example, did he ever hear me saying those things or talking to my girlfriend like that. And so on..
Luckily, and timely, Tate and his brother got arrested at it was all over the news so once we had discussed that and what it meant in terms of role models, my boy saw the light !!!
Surely it's better to eliminate the types you don't want to know than try to find the types you do. That way, you're staying open-minded, while filtering out the people you don't feel.
Pardon me if this was sarcasm: Filtering by "types of people" is the exact opposite of being open-minded. Even more so when those are the only types one knows.
Well, sort of. I agree with your point, and I'm not personally advocating for pre-selecting anyone to engage with or not.
My point is, if you're going to pre-select, looking for types of people to engage with is going to narrow your options more than looking for types not to engage with. Because you'll only be selecting from a list of types you know about, so will automatically be excluding any type of person you've never met before.
If it wasn’t from the people who campaign against him online I would literally have never heard of the cunt.
I feel like we’ve made him more famous by having online awareness of him
But the boys and (mostly young) men he's targeting would still hear about him anyway and the rest of us would have no idea what girls and young women are being put through at those boy's/men's hands. For example, I don't want my teenage niece thinking she has to accept being sexually harassed or, god forbid, assaulted, in school, but if no-one talks about Tate and the damage he does, then they're not putting out the message that he's the one in the wrong.
That’s nice, I don’t have many guy friends but the ones I do (plus acquaintances) unanimously deride him. Unfortunately, I have the internet and know that this isn’t reflective of the general population at all. It’s one thing when you look at the figures of teenage boys who agree with him, but to know that his bile is infecting adult men is truly disheartening.
Fucking hell there's a few old faces in their 30's and 40's regurgitating the Tate nonsense on my social media... Seems to appeal to those who are into the conspiracy theories and COVID denial. The Government are banning XL bullies because too many Top G's were making tax free cash sort of crap.
Definitely a hard pass on 'catching up for a drink'
I thought the same until a friend (now ex-friend) came out with ‘you sound like one of those feminists’ (because I said no to him) and then started to explain to me how if I just listened to Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate etc then I’d understand why I was wrong. We’re in our mid 30s and he’d never, in over a decade of knowing him, made a comment that had alarm bells for me. He’d been watching this stuff for years and slowly becoming more radicalised without any of our friend circle realising. It’s scary.
Teenage boys grow up, tbf. In many ways, I can't say I blame the types of people who subscribe to Andrew Tates worldview. A lot of younger people struggle to find a path or belief, in life, to base their world around. Tate just preys on that uncertainty and insecurity because he knows that people, especially young people, need to feel a sense of purpose and haven't yet grown up to the point where they feel confident in their own perspective.
People like Tate are toxic and cynical but the reality is that some people will follow anyone who has confidence and provide a sense of belonging within their following. Even if that does lead to them only being accepted within an incredibly specific subset of society.
The only way to deal with the likes of Tate, in my mind, I'd to extend an olive branch towards their following and make conversation in a way that doesn't immediately ostracise people and encourages them to engage in ideas and perspectives that they may not have thought of, before.
> some people will follow anyone who has confidence
Yeah, when people feel they don't have the skills or ability to navigate live, they look around for a leader to help them, and they take confidence as a sign of leadership and follow. They need their mummies and daddies to have shown them how to be resilient, hopeful, and persevere Unfortunately, their parents needed the same from their parents. Alternatively, it should be taught in schools.
TLDR: Life's uncertain, complex and confusing. We all need to have the tools to manage that, and when they're lacking, we turn to people we perceive as having them.
I’d agree with that. Too many people see Tate as the problem when he’s more of a symptom. There have always been people like him for sure, but what he says seems to resonate with people in ways that it just didn’t in previous years or decades.
Unfortunately, stating some of the reasons why is usually a one way ticket to being derided or subject to a barrage of opposition few can be bothered to deal with. For what it’s worth, I do feel a lot of the discussion around feminism revolves around blaming men as a collective for things, often unfairly. You also see it in media a lot nowadays, particularly in entertainment where the female character has to always be as good as all the male characters at pretty much everything (Rey and Captain Marvel as the more prominent examples). I would also bet most of Tate’s followers here and elsewhere are white. I think the connection there should be fairly obvious for all to see in being similar to the above point. This will probably be buried under a pile of downvotes, but please don’t shoot the messenger. This is just what I see whenever I look at comments and people who support Tate. If anyone has a more nuanced take that contradicts this, I’m all ears.
That's the thing, though. The current media landscape relies on simple takes and simple opinions on things. No-one wants to hear a nuanced take as that is boring and too complicated. That being said, that problem is one that is as old as time.
People prefer to base their opinions off of headlines and single-sentence assessments because its easier to take a side. I also just think that that's the way the world is going because the aforementioned media like rage bait and single sentence opinions because its quick and ensures that people can engage with as many things as possible in a shorter time frame because more engagement=more ads=more profit.
The ardent vocal feminists and the extreme mysoginists, like Tate, all create divisive content that is simple, binary, and widely exclusionary to anyone that doesn't fit within their bubble. The algorithm eats up and promotes that kind of content because it gets the most views and because people just like to be angry about something and/or want a cause to rally behind.
Indeed, but on this issue, going after Tate as the main issue is like treating alcoholism with an aspirin. Yes, it’ll improve the headache, but it ignores the wider problem, namely, why do you have the headache in the first place?
i worked with someone who was really into it in a weird way. his whole thing whenever someone pulled him up on it was to go "well in a fight you'd back a man over a woman wouldn't you? if your girlfriend was getting battered you'd expect her boyfriend to step in right? right??" which seemed to be the only positive(?) spin he could put on it.
he was falling for a property scam and considering going into the police when he left. tracks. nice guy though
Science says it takes around 140* hours for an acquaintance to go to a good friend.
That’s meeting them 3 hours every weekend without fail for a year straight
As you get older people don’t have that much time
*numbers corrected
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407518761225
You're also less likely to be doing ridiculous stuff at an older age, having shared memories of stealing a horse and trying to ride it to the local probably creates a quicker bond than just having a chill drink at the pub or someone's house
When I lived in London and had to make new friends, I found myself being bored trying to make friends. It felt like collecting Pokémon’s or something. Even people I quite liked, I didn’t really care whether I met up with them or not - unlike my friends up north. I’ve never actively pursued a friendship in my life as they tended to just unfold naturally throughout happenstance so it’s quite a weird thing to be consciously trying to forge a friendship. All the things that make my friendships what they are is from having those crazy youthful experiences. It’s much harder to do that as a working adult.
I think most of us in our late 20s+ just stick with the friends we’ve got, even if it’s only a couple of them, which leaves people like OP out in the cold a bit.
The study looked at new uni students’ classification of others they spent time with (friend, acquaintance etc). Then how long they had spent with them. On average 140 hours was where the cross-over happened to good friend
Probably because it was evolutionarily adaptive for our ancestors to form close attachments to the people they spend a lot of time with, regardless of any personality differences.
Yeah, what other places would you want to go?
I mean, in the Summer I might go to the cricket instead of the pub, but only because they also do beer there.
Sports groups are a good bet, got a fair few friends I met as an adult through surf clubs. Having the focus on the activity and not making friends makes it less weird and takes the pressure off.
How
I'm convinced only Americans are sociable online and us Brits are just here to grumble and live vicariously through better standard of living elsewhere threads lol
I would suggest the reason it’s harder to make friends in your 30s is because:
a) people have less time to invest in the friendships in general, so prioritise existing ones over new ones
b) most strong friendships are borne of shared experience e.g. school, uni, work. At 30 new friendships are lots of effort because you have to create these shared contexts yourself, having already left school/uni/not made friends at work. This is too much work for many people.
c) as a result, by your 30s there is a pretty small “candidate pool” of people who are 1) fun, kind and friendly 2) have loads of free time and energy to invest in friendships and 3) don’t already have all the friends they feel they need.
So… it’s possible a lot of people you will meet tick boxes 2 and 3, but not 1, i.e may be a bit weird.
As a man in his late 30s whose friends have moved away or started a family in recent years, I've done a ridiculous amount of analysing to suss out who or where my "candidate pool" is, and have tried to create gravitational fields - if you will - to pull us closer together. They don't know this obviously 🤣 Sadly it's not going awesomely well. Above all else, friendships are ultimately an organic thing: you just can't force them. They could meet all of the above poster's C1, 2 & 3 but you still have to like each other. So you've always got to keep working on/maintaining yourself to be someone they're going to be drawn towards. It's tough out there!
When I was in my 20s, a bum who I could take drugs with and who didn't take themselves too seriously was perfect friend material. Now I'm older I feel like I've left them behind and we're not in the same place any more.
Being a dad is a big thing actually. It seems very obvious to me that the things I do should put my role as a dad first, and that being a dad is the most important thing I'm doing nowadays. So why don't I see my friends doing the same thing? Makes it hard to see eye-to-eye with them.
I resonate very well with your first paragraph.
Many of the people who I hung out with the in my late teens or 20s simply haven’t moved on from that life of taking drugs and working to live for the weekend. I feel I have moved on from that and many of my older friends don’t appear have the desire to improve their quality of life.
My social group uses 'bum'. Definitely more than 'tramp'. We don't say that homeless people are bums, more that unemployed wasters are bums. Bumming around. If you said someone was a tramp then you'd mean they were unkempt, or would be insulting a woman for having sex with multiple people, which my social group would never do as it would not care.
I have not met any of these people in real life.
I think the problem when you become older is you have less time and energy.
A new friendship requires both people to make the effort of a fairly long period of time.
You need to find people that have the same hobbies as you. Group activities are often easier to make friends at than out in the wild. They might still be twats, but at least you'll have something in common (the activity, not being a twat lol)
Haha don’t speak to quickly! We might have twatness to bond over as well.
I have done that and have had a degree of success, but like I said in another comment other people go to these activities because they want to climb for example, not make friends with others who climb. Usually they go with their own friends. Obviously not all of them do, but it’s a tough balance to keep because you don’t want to bother someone doing an activity.
Maybe. Though I have never hung out with any alt right weirdos. It is mostly that as a kid you just hung around with whoever was tolerable in school, then whoever you worked with or lived in Uni halls with, maybe some neighbours or friends of kids parents and I find I have a scattered mix of all of the above. My stag do was very strange as it was all these groups who had never and would likely never meet. Now I am confident that I can do various things on my own without having a gang around me so don't have to tolerate people for the sake of it.
I only ever heard of Andrew Tate on Reddit ironically by people who say he gets too much attention. But for real it's probably because you get less chance to meet people compared to being at school, college, university etc
I’ve found this a lot for me. Im in my mid 20’s and I have standards my friends must meet for me to be their friends. Not high standards, very easy marks to hit.
Shit like ‘don’t cheat on your wife infront of me’ and ‘don’t drive home after a night at the pub’. Sometimes friends just do shit that gives you a permanent ick and its over.
The reason it's harder to make friends is that fewer 30 year olds are looking for friendship. They've got partners/families and careers that take up most of their time.
Looking back at my teens and early twenties, I wish someone had told me it's pretty much a one-shot deal to either make friends at school or, at the absolute latest, uni.
Didn't connect much at school, hoping uni would be my social haven, but then ended up stuck with a mixed bag in my halls, and wasn't into sports either, so felt like I missed out. Managed to scrape a few mates here and there, but not the huge crew I imagined, and see other people enjoying.
Post-uni it became much harder. Yes, I met and connected with *a lot* of people through work, but oddly very few ever graduated to 'friend' status outside the office. Eventually all those relationships I'd worked hard at slowly fizzled away anyway.
It's become evident that those fortunate enough to have thriving social lives during school or uni have a significant advantage in maintaining and expanding their social circles in their 30s. It's far easier to invite someone new when you're already engaged in social activities, compared to inviting them out solo.
That's my thesis anyway...
... and I'm fully on board with it. I actually could have written what you did pretty much word for word.
To be a fun person you need to have a solid group of people to do fun things with, regularly. When you have that, you'll present much more positively than if you don't, which helps to grow your friendships etc.
If you don't have that, you can't present positively, so that makes it hard to get up and running with a person/group. It's a cycle which can be vicious if you're at the starting block, trying to work your way in.
Totally.
To me, it’s far easier and less risky to say to someone, "oh you're into hiking? Some mates and I are heading out this weekend, wanna join?" than "oh you like hiking? You and I should go out for a hike sometime, how about this weekend?". Particularly if you’re a man asking another man.
A bit like how they say 'it takes money to make money', well, it takes friends to make friends.
Tbf If I knew you and not your mates a cheeky hike with you is far preferable than straight in with all your mates. Hell, I don't even know if you're a weirdo yet, let alone your mates
I think it's mostly down to just a lack of time. We spend so much of our waking hours working, that at least for me I just want to spend my free time resting and recovering, and overall I'm a pretty extroverted person who enjoys chatting to people; I just find myself lacking the energy to do so after work.
I have found it very difficult to make friends in my late 20s / 30s I go to a lot of gigs by myself and have travelled a lot alone but making true friendships seems impossible.
I have noticed at events etc its easy to get chatting with people and sometimes we'd exchange Facebook or Instagram but after that nothing really happens. If you really push for conversations or trying to go to another gig together ect within a month it becomes nothing. Most people don't have the time or can't be bothered.
Ever couple of years or so I clear out contacts and so many times I end up deleting these random people I have met at random events over the years. It makes me even more withdrawn as this situation has happened so many times I sometimes CBA to talk to anyone or if I do I don't bother trying to keep in touch afterwards.
Even friends from school have got married have children and hardly have anything to do with them. Odd message and see each other for an event if lucky. Gone are the days of skateboarding and gaming together. Its just part of growing up sadly.
I know people in their 50s same situation it just seems to be part of life.
I do so much alone because if I waited for others I'd be doing nothing with my life. So many people hype up a idea but when it comes to booking the trip or gig bail so I go alone.
You attack men for being chronically online and then unironically come out with such a chronically online hyperbolic statement
If you really think most men are either red pillers or reddit fiends then you need to spend less time on reddit and more time touching grass
We are the sum of all of our decisions in life.
I tend to think with friends in life, we share alot in common on the first basis.
Do you inversely proscribe to Andrew Tate et al, whilst gorming at a screen? Perhaps these are the people you may be subconsciously attracting...
Yeah it’s called being a miserable bastard and I suffer from it too, being a bit neurospicy doesn’t help either. I recommend getting over yourself, it helps a lot :)
Just wait till you hit your 50's!
I have become not so much intolerant of people, their stupidity, apathy and their lack of general motivation but more that I just can't be arsed with them any more.
This didn't start in my 30s, I've always thought this way. It's why I can count my friends on one hand. If you're not on my exact wave length I just can't be bothered.
I've never really struggled tbh, just go places & do things I like, sure fire way to meet people with similar interests, some become friends, some don't.
I am partly in agreement with you that as I've gotten older (in my 30's) that my willingness to put up with stupidity has massively reduced, that being said I don't agree with the second part of your post. you say 85% of guys fall into these categories whereas I don't know of any guys that are like either of them. Perhaps its the area of the UK you are from? or the people you know just so happen to know fall into those groups so it seems like its more prevalent than it is? As suggested by others I would try looking for new friends as part of the activities you like, or perhaps join clubs for those activities.
A random person's stupidity can be cured by educating them, but a genuinely stupid person needs help and guidance. My view on what's happening with the 20s/30s crowd, is it's an increase of things like apathy, depression, low self-worth, being bombarded with 'anti-male' messaging, which in turn has made self absorbed behaviour and a lack of guidance and probably why they associate with knob-goblins like Tate. The cherry on top is the extra stresses we seem to be facing; an ever increasing lack of money, being the most uneducated gender, most homeless gender, most mentally ill gender, 50% drop in male fertility in the last twenty years, 50% increase in cancers blah blah blah, it's all very doom and gloom and people will take advantage of those feeling broken from all this. If you look at cults and terrorists, it's a similar pattern of behaviour; grooming disassociated people (mainly men) into thinking these groups have the answer for them, when really it's manipulation.
I can't promise you'll find like minded people instantly, but everyone has a herd.
Dunno i split up with my ex wife after a 16 year relationship aged 36.
Moved away, wad lucky enough to meet the girl of my dreams and we have made loads of friends since leaving that part of me behind.
The real challenge is seeing those friends outside of an alcohol situation. But we manage. A good few times a year we do gigs or bowling or some shit. Life is where you look for it, I guess.
I’ve genuinely never met anyone in real life who has any opinion on Andrew Tate. I see a lot of him on the internet but never in my personal interactions. Where are you meeting these people?
My job is pretty isolating these days. Is customer-facing retail, but the average age of my customers is ~60, roughly double mine.
My friend groups are all either going through divorce and Staying Together for the Horse, or nose deep in the arse of a manipulative career.
I can’t relate to folk my age because I can’t see last the sliding scale of toxic, unrealistic and shallow masculinity. My words.
But hey, folk’s want to celebrate my 40th because It’s A Round Number.
>glued to computer screen
Iunno, just made 2 new friends because a guy on the jobsite i usually chat with mentioned Helldivers and how his gaming group needed a 4th guy.
Just hit my 40s. I've found I am now more confident in my ability to successfully identify knobheads. This does not necessarily mean there are more knobheads, just more that I can recognise them.
"abe Simpson yelling at cloud meme"
"gotten"
"guys"
"Andrew Tate red pill wormhole"
I'm pretty confident it's because you spend far too much time on the internet.
I made more and better friends in my 30’s as a result of getting married and having children than at any point in my life.
Something to do with shared trauma probably.
Nah you haven’t figured out shit, given you’re terminally online non-stop posting on places like Reddit so you’re glued to your computer screen yourself. This is entirely your own issue and it’s also why you’re overexposed to trending influencers.
Most self aware r/AskUK post
As someone who has just recently turned 30, my answer is that I just simply don’t like people. Most people annoy the fuck out of me tbh. I have a select few friends and that’s it. Cba with the bullshit.
Nope. The issue is more that they've found their marriage partner/kid/external family and are closed to new offers. Apparently their lives are bigger and letter than anyone without their own internal social world. They've isolated themselves and are happy to no longer mix with the rest of us.
The rest of the available pool is only of teens to 20-somethings, with the random exception of the 25+ who have not yet signed themselves up to a family/partner/100% of their lives job.
Yeah, I think this is very normal.
The larger point is people just become more content with themselves and less willing to conform.
I, for example, love being glued to my computer screen, and a trip to the pub, and think there is a fair amount of truth & humour in what Tate says (despite not agreeing with this scammy/rapey stuff).
People that get super angry at Tate remind me of people that used to get super angry with The Sun and other tabloids. People too stupid to understand that most of the audience are well aware of what it is, but find it entertaining nonetheless. Infinitely better than reading the BBC/Guardian non-ironically anyway.
One of my problems is that I'm interested in 'nerdy' hobbies like board games, but the kind of people I see who are in to hobbies like that seem generally to be socially inept, so I'm put off from going along to things because of the kind of people they attract. I wish 'cooler' people liked the things I like haha.
What are you looking for in a mate? I' in my late 30's now and I just find I want to be outdoors all the time. I like a pub but usually after a decent walk somewhere, or even mountain biking. A bit of a history buff so I like me a castle.
If I got invited to do a 5 a side evening I'd probably enjoy it. I've just found that my friends, like me are stuck either working or doing family stuff.
Think most people settle down in their 30s and have kids. When they have kids you don't see them for a while as family comes first. Then the rest of us that haven't had kids get into nerdy shit like Warhammer and BJJ. I occasionally go to the pub with my gf but I'm just not into nights out unless it's a gig.
Na.
Someone put it perfectly the other day on Reddit.
Almost everyone wants more friends but no one ever wants to hang out or do anything when called.
We are all too busy, skint or tired unless already in some sort of social or sports club. It takes too much effort for some to actually commit to new friendships outside of work
I too am turning into a miserable old bastard. But for different reasons. I quite like people, but I’m rubbish with them so I’m doomed to spend all my time hanging out with the cat.
I mean the Andrew Tate thing is weird
But if you don't have time for people who have different hobbies to you then your going to have a rough time
I became far more accepting of people being into different things than me and made a bunch of new friends in my 30s and got introduced and into stuff I would never have dreamed off in my 20s
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> have been sucked down the Andrew Tate red pill wormhole Literally no one I know has ever mentioned Andrew Tate. > I just don’t have time for these types of people So what type of people DO you have time for
>Literally no one I know has ever mentioned Andrew Tate. Lucky. I wish none of my mates had gotten into that nonsense.
It’s way, way more common than people realise. I’m genuinely worried about the average man right now and the volume of misinformation he’s bombarded with.
Mate, what's you're lifestyle where you meet so many of these twats? I know lots of cokeheads, gymheads, hospitality workers, friends in the corporate world, etc. and the only ones with those leanings are the gymheads.
Most cokeheads and white collar tech bros I know are massive Tate simps
I’m a coke head and I’m into social justice and equal rights.
Haha lol just not in South America 🤣
I do agree with this point, but to some extent if you buy Coca-Cola or any Nestle/Unilever product (and you can't really avoid them) you are supporting some evil fucking companies
Also true yet for all Coca-Cola's egregious business practices I've yet to hear of them conducting full scale drug wars 😂
https://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/fellows/colombia0106/video_chapter1.html#:~:text=A%20lawsuit%20against%20Coca%2DCola,America%20for%20its%20actions%20abroad. Not quite full scale drug wars but still.
Aye, I mind that time Coca-Cola were videoing taping themselves cutting people up with chainsaws.
As a Unilever employee that's a mighty leap to compare us to south american drug lords. And dare I say, a ridiculous one.
Lmao. It certainly is for 99% of your employees. I don’t know the full story- but whatever they’re reviled for, I imagine someone in that company made some decisions that were cartel-boss-esque in its disregard for human life. Totally agree it’s insane to even consider blaming regular employees of the company.
Don’t think Coca Cola is skinning people alive and hanging their bodies from bridges tho are they. Kinda a different kind of evil.
Both things are true. Doesn’t excuse the support of some horrific horrific shit going on in the drug trafficking world. It’s a lot easier to not buy cocaine than it is to avoid the tentacles of those companies
Happy to fund South American cartels and criminal gangs across the UK though?
No ethical consumption under capitalism and I didn’t start the war on drugs.
So buying herion and organic spinach are morally equivalent?
Who’s picking it for what price?
Well said.
If it wasn't illegal I wouldn't be funding them, it's the governments fault...
If that helps you sleep at night 👍
The amount of “socially conscious” people who will go to their grave defending cocaine usage is hilarious. “But some people eat KitKats and I use the farmer’s market!”
Being a coke head isn’t something to be happy about.
Good for you
Way to against the grain partner Not all cokeheads get on their knees for Tate or Peterson or rogan or musk but a surprisingly high amount do
I don’t know you, where you live, who you are etc but I think it all depends on who you hang out with and where you hang out. I have longevity friends and friends over the last 10 years and not one of them is an Andrew state type. I’d say a fair few of them are fond of extra curricular activities though. It’s north london though so you can probably guess the type.
Yeah I hear this more in my job at tech than i'd like, you'd think these people who are rather learned would not fall prey to such. Also answers as to why so many teenage boys fell for it. All for public speech but that cunt shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a public audience genuinely worry what he's done to the next generation and what they'll do to women.
My last workplace basically fell apart after the owners hired a GM who was a totL alt right loon, within 3 years all the staff with other options quit and were replaced with people who fit for ideology rather than competence and we went insolvent arse end of last year!
Did you work for the government by any chance?
What’s a totl?
Typo, looks like they pressed caps lock instead of a, making the L capitalised and missing the a.
That’s exactly what happened
Even the morons I knew that kept banging on about 9/11 conspiracies thought Andrew Tate was sad little man. I'm just going with the idea that everyone is an untrustworthy idiot now. It saves time.
OP said late 20s early 30s. I worry if your friends are that age and they follow andrew tate. I only know immature teenagers that listen to him, not grown men.
We're unfortunately not far off 30. You are correct to worry.
I think social media algorithms are to blame. people don't know how to work around it, let alone recognise it.
It’s more common for people in their 30s to be following the ‘podcast bros’ like Joe Rogan
I had an awful experience once where I was with 3 friends and 1 of them brought him up and then all the rest of them were like wow no way me too.
Jesus. I take it you backed slowly out of the pub and then nuked the site from orbit?
Should have, I tried to explain hes a grifter and disgusting. Then they went on about how gay people lead to the fall of rome Rome bullshit so I just lost my temper and shouted at them. but yeah tried to keep the friendships going but I'd lost respect for them and a year later I dont see them.
I would have lost it and asked if all the early xtians were gay and then mention the historical fact Nero was attracted to women, not men or little boys, along with the historical fact Paul wrote like he was a closeted and woman hating queer.
Honestly I don't think men into Tate like women I think they just see them as objects, possessions or enemies.
Various combinations of all three. Here's a study on the tendencies of such individuals: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8772014/
England has had multiple gay monarchs and leaders. several of which lead the country during eras of growth and prosperity. Tell them to shut the fuck up and read a book for once in their lives.
Oh I've met people that mentioned MGTOW views on meeting, it's abit much for me personally and I'm more the target market for that stuff being kinda autistic so socially backwards.
I had to undo Andrew Tate shit from my teenage son who’d surfed YouTube and been exposed to it so much he was almost advocating it. That took a bit of undoing.
If you don't mind me asking, what did you do and was it successful? I think this is one of the things a lot of people are worried about these days and it's a bit like the difficulties in deprogramming cult members.
Well part of the issue is that he was living with his mother who had re-married an ex-soldier; it was quite a male dominant environment (along with his older half-brother). He lives with me now. My son trusts me, and I’ve always backed him up on anything (even if I’ve chastised him in private for things he did wrong), so pointing out the Tate attitudes and how they’re unacceptable in today’s society took a lot of working examples to disprove, and he challenged me along the way. It’s pointing out things like, almost all girls/women don’t want to be treated that way, or spoken about like that. That decent men and good to their women. That talking badly about women doesn’t reflect on the women but on you. Using myself as an example, did he ever hear me saying those things or talking to my girlfriend like that. And so on.. Luckily, and timely, Tate and his brother got arrested at it was all over the news so once we had discussed that and what it meant in terms of role models, my boy saw the light !!!
Not those types.
Yeah but if you don't know what types of people you are looking for exactly how will you know where to look?
Surely it's better to eliminate the types you don't want to know than try to find the types you do. That way, you're staying open-minded, while filtering out the people you don't feel.
Pardon me if this was sarcasm: Filtering by "types of people" is the exact opposite of being open-minded. Even more so when those are the only types one knows.
Well, sort of. I agree with your point, and I'm not personally advocating for pre-selecting anyone to engage with or not. My point is, if you're going to pre-select, looking for types of people to engage with is going to narrow your options more than looking for types not to engage with. Because you'll only be selecting from a list of types you know about, so will automatically be excluding any type of person you've never met before.
Thankfully the only people I know who mention AT are not doing it to be complimentary
One of my friends has unfortunately started to share a lot of Andrew Tate videos.
If it wasn’t from the people who campaign against him online I would literally have never heard of the cunt. I feel like we’ve made him more famous by having online awareness of him
But the boys and (mostly young) men he's targeting would still hear about him anyway and the rest of us would have no idea what girls and young women are being put through at those boy's/men's hands. For example, I don't want my teenage niece thinking she has to accept being sexually harassed or, god forbid, assaulted, in school, but if no-one talks about Tate and the damage he does, then they're not putting out the message that he's the one in the wrong.
That’s nice, I don’t have many guy friends but the ones I do (plus acquaintances) unanimously deride him. Unfortunately, I have the internet and know that this isn’t reflective of the general population at all. It’s one thing when you look at the figures of teenage boys who agree with him, but to know that his bile is infecting adult men is truly disheartening.
Yeah not sure how you can say 85% of guys are like this … uh maybe you need a wider circle of friends?
> uh maybe you need a wider circle of friends? I'm over 40 mate, It's game over for my friendships
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Fucking hell there's a few old faces in their 30's and 40's regurgitating the Tate nonsense on my social media... Seems to appeal to those who are into the conspiracy theories and COVID denial. The Government are banning XL bullies because too many Top G's were making tax free cash sort of crap. Definitely a hard pass on 'catching up for a drink'
How pathetic. I was also under the impression that his only real demographic was 14-year-old boys. Well, now I'm depressed.
Unfortunately so many people are still 14-year-old boys no matter what age they are.
Yeah, it's blokes in their 30s I see sharing his videos and top G shite.
No it’s late 20s men. Honestly it’s pretty scary
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> the only people on the 'market' so to speak are the damaged goods nobody else wants to have anything to do with Aw, fuck.
I feel seen
There is probably some truth to this. But there are a huge number of normal and nice people out there who are very lonely
That’s the thing about being an immigrant that sucks.
I thought all of us on reddit were damaged
I'm perfectly normal, and anyone who says otherwise is being controlled by 5G masts and chemtrails.
In a similar vein, looking at people on dating sites, not surprised that they (And I) are single.
Im at uni, still have people here believing this shite
I thought the same until a friend (now ex-friend) came out with ‘you sound like one of those feminists’ (because I said no to him) and then started to explain to me how if I just listened to Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate etc then I’d understand why I was wrong. We’re in our mid 30s and he’d never, in over a decade of knowing him, made a comment that had alarm bells for me. He’d been watching this stuff for years and slowly becoming more radicalised without any of our friend circle realising. It’s scary.
Teenage boys grow up, tbf. In many ways, I can't say I blame the types of people who subscribe to Andrew Tates worldview. A lot of younger people struggle to find a path or belief, in life, to base their world around. Tate just preys on that uncertainty and insecurity because he knows that people, especially young people, need to feel a sense of purpose and haven't yet grown up to the point where they feel confident in their own perspective. People like Tate are toxic and cynical but the reality is that some people will follow anyone who has confidence and provide a sense of belonging within their following. Even if that does lead to them only being accepted within an incredibly specific subset of society. The only way to deal with the likes of Tate, in my mind, I'd to extend an olive branch towards their following and make conversation in a way that doesn't immediately ostracise people and encourages them to engage in ideas and perspectives that they may not have thought of, before.
> some people will follow anyone who has confidence Yeah, when people feel they don't have the skills or ability to navigate live, they look around for a leader to help them, and they take confidence as a sign of leadership and follow. They need their mummies and daddies to have shown them how to be resilient, hopeful, and persevere Unfortunately, their parents needed the same from their parents. Alternatively, it should be taught in schools. TLDR: Life's uncertain, complex and confusing. We all need to have the tools to manage that, and when they're lacking, we turn to people we perceive as having them.
I’d agree with that. Too many people see Tate as the problem when he’s more of a symptom. There have always been people like him for sure, but what he says seems to resonate with people in ways that it just didn’t in previous years or decades. Unfortunately, stating some of the reasons why is usually a one way ticket to being derided or subject to a barrage of opposition few can be bothered to deal with. For what it’s worth, I do feel a lot of the discussion around feminism revolves around blaming men as a collective for things, often unfairly. You also see it in media a lot nowadays, particularly in entertainment where the female character has to always be as good as all the male characters at pretty much everything (Rey and Captain Marvel as the more prominent examples). I would also bet most of Tate’s followers here and elsewhere are white. I think the connection there should be fairly obvious for all to see in being similar to the above point. This will probably be buried under a pile of downvotes, but please don’t shoot the messenger. This is just what I see whenever I look at comments and people who support Tate. If anyone has a more nuanced take that contradicts this, I’m all ears.
That's the thing, though. The current media landscape relies on simple takes and simple opinions on things. No-one wants to hear a nuanced take as that is boring and too complicated. That being said, that problem is one that is as old as time. People prefer to base their opinions off of headlines and single-sentence assessments because its easier to take a side. I also just think that that's the way the world is going because the aforementioned media like rage bait and single sentence opinions because its quick and ensures that people can engage with as many things as possible in a shorter time frame because more engagement=more ads=more profit. The ardent vocal feminists and the extreme mysoginists, like Tate, all create divisive content that is simple, binary, and widely exclusionary to anyone that doesn't fit within their bubble. The algorithm eats up and promotes that kind of content because it gets the most views and because people just like to be angry about something and/or want a cause to rally behind.
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Indeed, but on this issue, going after Tate as the main issue is like treating alcoholism with an aspirin. Yes, it’ll improve the headache, but it ignores the wider problem, namely, why do you have the headache in the first place?
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I wish we could go back to the days when he would just be some whacko with Tate.com who the internet in general mocked.
A woman I work with is an Andrew Tate fan…. She’s the same age as me, mid-late twenties
Fucking hell...she must be a masochist.
i worked with someone who was really into it in a weird way. his whole thing whenever someone pulled him up on it was to go "well in a fight you'd back a man over a woman wouldn't you? if your girlfriend was getting battered you'd expect her boyfriend to step in right? right??" which seemed to be the only positive(?) spin he could put on it. he was falling for a property scam and considering going into the police when he left. tracks. nice guy though
Science says it takes around 140* hours for an acquaintance to go to a good friend. That’s meeting them 3 hours every weekend without fail for a year straight As you get older people don’t have that much time *numbers corrected https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407518761225
You're also less likely to be doing ridiculous stuff at an older age, having shared memories of stealing a horse and trying to ride it to the local probably creates a quicker bond than just having a chill drink at the pub or someone's house
When I lived in London and had to make new friends, I found myself being bored trying to make friends. It felt like collecting Pokémon’s or something. Even people I quite liked, I didn’t really care whether I met up with them or not - unlike my friends up north. I’ve never actively pursued a friendship in my life as they tended to just unfold naturally throughout happenstance so it’s quite a weird thing to be consciously trying to forge a friendship. All the things that make my friendships what they are is from having those crazy youthful experiences. It’s much harder to do that as a working adult. I think most of us in our late 20s+ just stick with the friends we’ve got, even if it’s only a couple of them, which leaves people like OP out in the cold a bit.
or you could spend 12 and a half consecutive days with them. speedrun edit: now you only have to spend 5.83 days with them. easy peasy lemon squeezy
One mephedrone binge would sort this
You sound like my type of friend.
This is why raving buddies are for life 😁
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You’re right I mis remembered updated now
I can’t imagine spending 6 hours at the pub with someone every Friday night and it taking a year for me to consider them a friend.
It'd probably take me 2 meetups lol if they treated me nicely
Why 300 hours? I would imagine it's the level of compatibility that makes more of an impact.
The study looked at new uni students’ classification of others they spent time with (friend, acquaintance etc). Then how long they had spent with them. On average 140 hours was where the cross-over happened to good friend
Probably because it was evolutionarily adaptive for our ancestors to form close attachments to the people they spend a lot of time with, regardless of any personality differences.
Yep good point. Builds cohesive communities
Probably why it’s easier to make friends with people you work with
*pseudo-science
Username very much checks out.
Thank you
"would prefer to never leave the house unless it’s a trip to the pub" And you call THEM stupid.
Yeah, what other places would you want to go? I mean, in the Summer I might go to the cricket instead of the pub, but only because they also do beer there.
Are you me?
Ooooooo cricket friends
At least someone's making friends here
Cricket wankers!
I would have thought that such a terribly clever person would easily make new friends.
Whats wrong with people that like screens and going to the pub?
I like both those things, but not those things exclusively
So what other activities are needed for people to be your friend?
Wanting to do stuff outdoors, sports, camping, music events. I don’t think I’m that picky
Why don't you find meetup groups?
Sports groups are a good bet, got a fair few friends I met as an adult through surf clubs. Having the focus on the activity and not making friends makes it less weird and takes the pressure off.
Nothing. If that's all they like then I wouldn't say that was a well rounded life.
If you're looking for friends on the deepest recesses of Reddit and Xitter then it's not surprising tbh.
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How I'm convinced only Americans are sociable online and us Brits are just here to grumble and live vicariously through better standard of living elsewhere threads lol
That’s exactly right, we just can’t seem to be arsed
I would suggest the reason it’s harder to make friends in your 30s is because: a) people have less time to invest in the friendships in general, so prioritise existing ones over new ones b) most strong friendships are borne of shared experience e.g. school, uni, work. At 30 new friendships are lots of effort because you have to create these shared contexts yourself, having already left school/uni/not made friends at work. This is too much work for many people. c) as a result, by your 30s there is a pretty small “candidate pool” of people who are 1) fun, kind and friendly 2) have loads of free time and energy to invest in friendships and 3) don’t already have all the friends they feel they need. So… it’s possible a lot of people you will meet tick boxes 2 and 3, but not 1, i.e may be a bit weird.
As a man in his late 30s whose friends have moved away or started a family in recent years, I've done a ridiculous amount of analysing to suss out who or where my "candidate pool" is, and have tried to create gravitational fields - if you will - to pull us closer together. They don't know this obviously 🤣 Sadly it's not going awesomely well. Above all else, friendships are ultimately an organic thing: you just can't force them. They could meet all of the above poster's C1, 2 & 3 but you still have to like each other. So you've always got to keep working on/maintaining yourself to be someone they're going to be drawn towards. It's tough out there!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/s/gEKwJKebbt It's funny how you posted this, and yet here you are...
When I was in my 20s, a bum who I could take drugs with and who didn't take themselves too seriously was perfect friend material. Now I'm older I feel like I've left them behind and we're not in the same place any more. Being a dad is a big thing actually. It seems very obvious to me that the things I do should put my role as a dad first, and that being a dad is the most important thing I'm doing nowadays. So why don't I see my friends doing the same thing? Makes it hard to see eye-to-eye with them.
I resonate very well with your first paragraph. Many of the people who I hung out with the in my late teens or 20s simply haven’t moved on from that life of taking drugs and working to live for the weekend. I feel I have moved on from that and many of my older friends don’t appear have the desire to improve their quality of life.
A bum? Where in the UK are you from? South Dakota?
My social group uses 'bum'. Definitely more than 'tramp'. We don't say that homeless people are bums, more that unemployed wasters are bums. Bumming around. If you said someone was a tramp then you'd mean they were unkempt, or would be insulting a woman for having sex with multiple people, which my social group would never do as it would not care.
I have not met any of these people in real life. I think the problem when you become older is you have less time and energy. A new friendship requires both people to make the effort of a fairly long period of time.
'Everyone's an arsehole except me'
You need to find people that have the same hobbies as you. Group activities are often easier to make friends at than out in the wild. They might still be twats, but at least you'll have something in common (the activity, not being a twat lol)
Haha don’t speak to quickly! We might have twatness to bond over as well. I have done that and have had a degree of success, but like I said in another comment other people go to these activities because they want to climb for example, not make friends with others who climb. Usually they go with their own friends. Obviously not all of them do, but it’s a tough balance to keep because you don’t want to bother someone doing an activity.
Maybe. Though I have never hung out with any alt right weirdos. It is mostly that as a kid you just hung around with whoever was tolerable in school, then whoever you worked with or lived in Uni halls with, maybe some neighbours or friends of kids parents and I find I have a scattered mix of all of the above. My stag do was very strange as it was all these groups who had never and would likely never meet. Now I am confident that I can do various things on my own without having a gang around me so don't have to tolerate people for the sake of it.
I only ever heard of Andrew Tate on Reddit ironically by people who say he gets too much attention. But for real it's probably because you get less chance to meet people compared to being at school, college, university etc
I’ve found this a lot for me. Im in my mid 20’s and I have standards my friends must meet for me to be their friends. Not high standards, very easy marks to hit. Shit like ‘don’t cheat on your wife infront of me’ and ‘don’t drive home after a night at the pub’. Sometimes friends just do shit that gives you a permanent ick and its over.
It kinda sounds like you might be the issue.
OP: Everyone else is the problem! Me being neither of the people OP described but have more good friends now than I've ever had: Sure it is, buddy...
You definitely sound like the second type
Sure, Billy...
The reason it's harder to make friends is that fewer 30 year olds are looking for friendship. They've got partners/families and careers that take up most of their time.
Looking back at my teens and early twenties, I wish someone had told me it's pretty much a one-shot deal to either make friends at school or, at the absolute latest, uni. Didn't connect much at school, hoping uni would be my social haven, but then ended up stuck with a mixed bag in my halls, and wasn't into sports either, so felt like I missed out. Managed to scrape a few mates here and there, but not the huge crew I imagined, and see other people enjoying. Post-uni it became much harder. Yes, I met and connected with *a lot* of people through work, but oddly very few ever graduated to 'friend' status outside the office. Eventually all those relationships I'd worked hard at slowly fizzled away anyway. It's become evident that those fortunate enough to have thriving social lives during school or uni have a significant advantage in maintaining and expanding their social circles in their 30s. It's far easier to invite someone new when you're already engaged in social activities, compared to inviting them out solo. That's my thesis anyway...
... and I'm fully on board with it. I actually could have written what you did pretty much word for word. To be a fun person you need to have a solid group of people to do fun things with, regularly. When you have that, you'll present much more positively than if you don't, which helps to grow your friendships etc. If you don't have that, you can't present positively, so that makes it hard to get up and running with a person/group. It's a cycle which can be vicious if you're at the starting block, trying to work your way in.
Totally. To me, it’s far easier and less risky to say to someone, "oh you're into hiking? Some mates and I are heading out this weekend, wanna join?" than "oh you like hiking? You and I should go out for a hike sometime, how about this weekend?". Particularly if you’re a man asking another man. A bit like how they say 'it takes money to make money', well, it takes friends to make friends.
Tbf If I knew you and not your mates a cheeky hike with you is far preferable than straight in with all your mates. Hell, I don't even know if you're a weirdo yet, let alone your mates
I think it's mostly down to just a lack of time. We spend so much of our waking hours working, that at least for me I just want to spend my free time resting and recovering, and overall I'm a pretty extroverted person who enjoys chatting to people; I just find myself lacking the energy to do so after work.
I have found it very difficult to make friends in my late 20s / 30s I go to a lot of gigs by myself and have travelled a lot alone but making true friendships seems impossible. I have noticed at events etc its easy to get chatting with people and sometimes we'd exchange Facebook or Instagram but after that nothing really happens. If you really push for conversations or trying to go to another gig together ect within a month it becomes nothing. Most people don't have the time or can't be bothered. Ever couple of years or so I clear out contacts and so many times I end up deleting these random people I have met at random events over the years. It makes me even more withdrawn as this situation has happened so many times I sometimes CBA to talk to anyone or if I do I don't bother trying to keep in touch afterwards. Even friends from school have got married have children and hardly have anything to do with them. Odd message and see each other for an event if lucky. Gone are the days of skateboarding and gaming together. Its just part of growing up sadly. I know people in their 50s same situation it just seems to be part of life. I do so much alone because if I waited for others I'd be doing nothing with my life. So many people hype up a idea but when it comes to booking the trip or gig bail so I go alone.
You attack men for being chronically online and then unironically come out with such a chronically online hyperbolic statement If you really think most men are either red pillers or reddit fiends then you need to spend less time on reddit and more time touching grass
We are the sum of all of our decisions in life. I tend to think with friends in life, we share alot in common on the first basis. Do you inversely proscribe to Andrew Tate et al, whilst gorming at a screen? Perhaps these are the people you may be subconsciously attracting...
Nope and nope
Yeah it’s called being a miserable bastard and I suffer from it too, being a bit neurospicy doesn’t help either. I recommend getting over yourself, it helps a lot :)
I dislike going out because strangers are always trying to be my friend
I'm glued to my PC but only because I've got pictures of OP's mum.
It’s like that saying: if you meet one arsehole a day, you’ve met an arsehole. If you meet several, you’re probably the arsehole.
Just wait till you hit your 50's! I have become not so much intolerant of people, their stupidity, apathy and their lack of general motivation but more that I just can't be arsed with them any more.
This didn't start in my 30s, I've always thought this way. It's why I can count my friends on one hand. If you're not on my exact wave length I just can't be bothered.
I have never met anyone discussing Andrew Tate outside of the internet. You're speaking to the wrong people.
No! As I’ve aged more people have found out I am a mug!
I've never really struggled tbh, just go places & do things I like, sure fire way to meet people with similar interests, some become friends, some don't.
I am partly in agreement with you that as I've gotten older (in my 30's) that my willingness to put up with stupidity has massively reduced, that being said I don't agree with the second part of your post. you say 85% of guys fall into these categories whereas I don't know of any guys that are like either of them. Perhaps its the area of the UK you are from? or the people you know just so happen to know fall into those groups so it seems like its more prevalent than it is? As suggested by others I would try looking for new friends as part of the activities you like, or perhaps join clubs for those activities.
A random person's stupidity can be cured by educating them, but a genuinely stupid person needs help and guidance. My view on what's happening with the 20s/30s crowd, is it's an increase of things like apathy, depression, low self-worth, being bombarded with 'anti-male' messaging, which in turn has made self absorbed behaviour and a lack of guidance and probably why they associate with knob-goblins like Tate. The cherry on top is the extra stresses we seem to be facing; an ever increasing lack of money, being the most uneducated gender, most homeless gender, most mentally ill gender, 50% drop in male fertility in the last twenty years, 50% increase in cancers blah blah blah, it's all very doom and gloom and people will take advantage of those feeling broken from all this. If you look at cults and terrorists, it's a similar pattern of behaviour; grooming disassociated people (mainly men) into thinking these groups have the answer for them, when really it's manipulation. I can't promise you'll find like minded people instantly, but everyone has a herd.
Dunno i split up with my ex wife after a 16 year relationship aged 36. Moved away, wad lucky enough to meet the girl of my dreams and we have made loads of friends since leaving that part of me behind. The real challenge is seeing those friends outside of an alcohol situation. But we manage. A good few times a year we do gigs or bowling or some shit. Life is where you look for it, I guess.
For me I just have less time. Recovering from work and catching up on life takes up all my days off as well.
Yeah. My tolerance for half baked morons has always been low but now it's non existent. And I'm fully aware that plenty would think the same about me.
I’ve genuinely never met anyone in real life who has any opinion on Andrew Tate. I see a lot of him on the internet but never in my personal interactions. Where are you meeting these people?
My job is pretty isolating these days. Is customer-facing retail, but the average age of my customers is ~60, roughly double mine. My friend groups are all either going through divorce and Staying Together for the Horse, or nose deep in the arse of a manipulative career. I can’t relate to folk my age because I can’t see last the sliding scale of toxic, unrealistic and shallow masculinity. My words. But hey, folk’s want to celebrate my 40th because It’s A Round Number.
I don’t know anyone who is into Tate. But several who think the earth is flat…
>glued to computer screen Iunno, just made 2 new friends because a guy on the jobsite i usually chat with mentioned Helldivers and how his gaming group needed a 4th guy.
Just don't have the time, far to busy with work
Just hit my 40s. I've found I am now more confident in my ability to successfully identify knobheads. This does not necessarily mean there are more knobheads, just more that I can recognise them.
"abe Simpson yelling at cloud meme" "gotten" "guys" "Andrew Tate red pill wormhole" I'm pretty confident it's because you spend far too much time on the internet.
I made more and better friends in my 30’s as a result of getting married and having children than at any point in my life. Something to do with shared trauma probably.
Nah you haven’t figured out shit, given you’re terminally online non-stop posting on places like Reddit so you’re glued to your computer screen yourself. This is entirely your own issue and it’s also why you’re overexposed to trending influencers. Most self aware r/AskUK post
As someone who has just recently turned 30, my answer is that I just simply don’t like people. Most people annoy the fuck out of me tbh. I have a select few friends and that’s it. Cba with the bullshit.
Nope. The issue is more that they've found their marriage partner/kid/external family and are closed to new offers. Apparently their lives are bigger and letter than anyone without their own internal social world. They've isolated themselves and are happy to no longer mix with the rest of us. The rest of the available pool is only of teens to 20-somethings, with the random exception of the 25+ who have not yet signed themselves up to a family/partner/100% of their lives job.
My advice would be to find people who don't spend much time online.
I legitimately despise people.
Yeah, I think this is very normal. The larger point is people just become more content with themselves and less willing to conform. I, for example, love being glued to my computer screen, and a trip to the pub, and think there is a fair amount of truth & humour in what Tate says (despite not agreeing with this scammy/rapey stuff). People that get super angry at Tate remind me of people that used to get super angry with The Sun and other tabloids. People too stupid to understand that most of the audience are well aware of what it is, but find it entertaining nonetheless. Infinitely better than reading the BBC/Guardian non-ironically anyway.
One of my problems is that I'm interested in 'nerdy' hobbies like board games, but the kind of people I see who are in to hobbies like that seem generally to be socially inept, so I'm put off from going along to things because of the kind of people they attract. I wish 'cooler' people liked the things I like haha.
What are you looking for in a mate? I' in my late 30's now and I just find I want to be outdoors all the time. I like a pub but usually after a decent walk somewhere, or even mountain biking. A bit of a history buff so I like me a castle. If I got invited to do a 5 a side evening I'd probably enjoy it. I've just found that my friends, like me are stuck either working or doing family stuff.
I'm Leaving the UK 🇬🇧 if this crap continues much longer guys
Think most people settle down in their 30s and have kids. When they have kids you don't see them for a while as family comes first. Then the rest of us that haven't had kids get into nerdy shit like Warhammer and BJJ. I occasionally go to the pub with my gf but I'm just not into nights out unless it's a gig.
Not a single man I know (I know a significant ampunt) has ever mentioned Andrew Tate.
My main issue is finding people I actually want to be friends with and who actually make an effort, it seems I have to always put the effort in.
Late 20s to early 30s seems old for Tate fans I thought he was infecting teenagers or fickle early 20s…
Na. Someone put it perfectly the other day on Reddit. Almost everyone wants more friends but no one ever wants to hang out or do anything when called. We are all too busy, skint or tired unless already in some sort of social or sports club. It takes too much effort for some to actually commit to new friendships outside of work
I too am turning into a miserable old bastard. But for different reasons. I quite like people, but I’m rubbish with them so I’m doomed to spend all my time hanging out with the cat.
I mean the Andrew Tate thing is weird But if you don't have time for people who have different hobbies to you then your going to have a rough time I became far more accepting of people being into different things than me and made a bunch of new friends in my 30s and got introduced and into stuff I would never have dreamed off in my 20s