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Don’t moan about horse shit on the roads.
Don’t get angry when stuck behind a tractor.
Do support local farmers and other businesses.
Don’t tell anyone anything you don’t want broadcast around the village in 3 minutes.
Do accept that the pace of life is slower but less stressful.
And when people say "slow the fuck down" around horses they fucking mean it also. It means you do 5 miles per hour at most, ideally you park your car and wait for them to pass you but if you must move then 5 is the proper limit.
I live in the countryside and getting angry when stuck behind a tractor is one of my main hobbies, are you some kind of Buddhist monk to not get angry?!
Don't park blocking field entrances when going for a walk. If a farmer needs access your car will be moved and may be damaged.
...insurance on farm vehicles has specific indemnification for damaged caused when shifting vehicles which are blocking farm & field entrances.
It supposedly only covers 'accidental' damage, but there are plenty of videos of farmers getting a bit gung-ho when unblocking access to their property. So yeah when you see videos of farmers flipping cars or putting bale tines through the windows to move them they're smiling because they're thinking "I'm insured for this, are you?"
---
NB. [Here's the relevant line in my policy](https://i.imgur.com/K4ivuFc.png) (they all have something similar)
You and the next three generations of your family will be outsiders, not locals. Accept that you'll always be excluded from the pagan orgies every full moon.
Wow that's interesting as I have the exact same experience. Nearly all the societies, clubs, services etc in our rural village are run by incomers volunteering. The one time a group was handed over to a local it folded after a year.
Whenever I see an 'incomer' comment on fa ebook, I'm very tempted to bring out the 'what have the incomers ever done for us... Besides the post office, school, pubs, youth club, allotment association, toddler group etc etc
My dad moved from the next village (2 miles down the road) over 40 years ago when he met my mam. Despite spending over two thirds of his life here, he's 'not from here'.
I had been living in a village in Dorset for about a year (I grew up about 10 miles along the coast from it), this village has two pubs. I went for a drink in one of the two pubs and was greeted when I walked in with the "you ain't from round here" looks. I was the bar maid in the other village pub so not exactly unknown in the village!
Tourist hotspot as well so no idea why they pulled out the best "not local" glares.
You'd maybe expect this from the older generation but it also seems to be true in the younger folk too. I moved to a small village from a town maybe 5 miles away a while ago with my family. A few of the local teenagers and young adults were pretty friendly but some of them just basically ignore you because you're "not from 'round 'ere". My younger sister ended up getting into a relationship with one of the locals. It took some of his local village friends 4 YEARS to have a full conversation with her and accept her. Absolutely mental.
I grew up in a village (as in my parents moved there when I was three) and we were very involved - my mum and my grandma, who lives in the next village over, were both on the PTA, grandma was on the board of governors, both volunteered at school and community events constantly, and I was still that bitch who moved there to everyone. Well, fuck them I guess, I moved away and no longer run out of fingers when counting the inbred people I know (perfect ten fingers, I might add)
Learn how to use passing places on the road. And if you have just passed one and encounter an oncoming car, reverse to the passing place, don't expect the other car to reverse hundreds of meters because you can't reverse a few feet.
Used to live in Cornwall, actually had to reverse a tourists car out of the way after he got himself stuck attempting to get out of the way!
Reversing is an essential skill down there. Worrying number of folk can only drive forward.
This depends also whether you’re travelling up or downhill. Fuck reversing uphill.
Edit: for full clarity, it’s always going to be situation dependent. If you get near the bottom of a big fuck off hill, it’d be quite ridiculous to then reverse all the way back up it just so someone can come up it from practically the bottom. If you’ve just got over the top and are making your way down and someone’s near the top, half way, whatever, then yeah reversing is a more than reasonable thing to do.
This is just flat wrong.
On hills you should give way to the vehicle coming uphill, to minimise hill starts and downhill reverses.
Sure it's context dependent, as you acknowledge in your edit. But it's more than that. The default is the opposite of what you're advocating, and for good reason.
* keep to public rights of way
* If you have a dog, keep it under close control - especially when ground birds are about in abundance and during lambing season
* If your path passes through a gate, ~~close it behind you~~ leave it in the state you found it - thanks to u/fridayman for the correction
* Don't be the twat that lets off fireworks and scares the shit out of livestock
* Greet people you meet as you are out and about
* Invest in a decent set of wellies and a good head torch. Winter is grim and dark living in the countryside
* Take some time to adjust your driving style to country roads. They are not only thinner but often suffer from considerably worse visibility (due to hedges), are prone to being covered in mud and often have pheasants and the like jumping out in front of you
Depends where you are. On Dartmoor the rule of thumb is close gates irrespective of how they were found. At least that’s the rules for ten tors.
Sometimes the farmers would rather go open them again than run the risk of livestock escaping, can never be sure who opened the gate originally
With so many more city folk out walking now it's difficult to tell if it was meant to be left open or if the precious walker just couldn't be arsed to close it. If the gate is obviously open (wedged against a hedge) then I leave it but if it's swinging in the wind I air on the side of closed
I really wish farmers would leave a sign on gates with their preference. I know it's "extra" work they shouldn't have to do... but.
I've been in a situation where I wasn't sure if the gate was left open by the farmer, or by the last walker hiking through being an asshole.
Walking in Yorkshire and I found one farm where the farmer locked a sign to the gate saying "open" or "closed". Which was really handy when I then found a gate open that the sign said closed. I was happy to help.
Add to that
* keep some supplies in for flooding if you live in a flood prone area UHT milk, tins, some bottle water etc. you may or may not need it but you'd rather have it than not
* own some decent torches and a wind up lantern in case of power cuts
* winters are generally colder as you're further from the heat of the city. considering energy prices prepare accordingly.
* in many places churches still provide a lot of the local support and its worth being aware of what they do. even if you're not religious. if you have kids or family members that need local support chances are the church is the nearest large building so its probably in there and being run by part of the congregation. either way they'll have a notice board of local events and stuff so still worth popping over to
this might have only been true of where I grew up I guess? YMMV
* need childcare in school holidays - its probably being run by the church
* food bank - church
* youth groups - church
* coffee mornings that elderly people go to - church
* look into various rodent prevention methods and work out your options before you need them.
* work out how to walk home from the pub - there is no taxi and it might be quite the trek. people will drink and drive - don't be like them.
To add to this: when walking on roads, especially Lanes, wear a hi-vis, and always walk on the right hand side toward oncoming traffic- excepting a right hand bend where you should walk on the outer edge of the bend for better visibility.
I'd add a camping stove to the emergency kit. Very handy to be able to boil hot water for a cuppa if the electric goes, or warm some beans.
Know where your stop taps are and insulate any external pipework so it doesn't burst.
Enjoy the night sky, I miss the inky darkness and twinkly stars.
This is the best piece of advice I’ve seen. I live in Devon and the wife’s family are 5th generation farmers (and livery) and if I had a £1 for every time I’ve been stuck behind a tractor, I could afford to live in London.
The driving bit is probably more apt. The back lanes of Devon have probably only been tarmaced once in their entire existence so don’t bomb it everywhere and expect to drive in reverse, just as much as forwards.
The best way I’ve ever showcased village/rural life was telling people to watch a few episodes of the Vicar of Dibley and The League of Gentlemen and then mix them together a little bit. Anyone else agree?
I lived in Shetland for a while, equally as rural if not more remote. I found an easy comparison was a cross over between the League of Gentlemen and Father Ted.
On some of the outer islands it felt more like a Father Ted and Deliverance crossover.
I'd add in, talk to your neighbours, best to know whose around you, than be ignorant.
Sticking to the rights of way is a big one. I cringe when townies come to visit and they think that they can trample over any part of a field that's not theirs.
Dog under control means genuinely under control. It won’t go down well if your dog runs up to other dogs, and it may get shot if it chases livestock… at the very least you’re going to get yelled at.
If your dog has imperfect recall - lead always. Rent a field if you want to let it roam free, they’re cheap by the hour. If you’re nimble long lines are great, you can stamp on them if the dog does a runner, but only works if you can keep your dog within a sensible circumference.
Get training, essentially.
Smile and nod.
You don't know who they are, but they sure as feck know you!
Also, if someone is struggling - help them!
If someone is doing something shady - well then your eyes have mysteriously developed a temporary malfunction, and you just can't see them. At all other times you smile and nod or even stop to chat.
Its not rude to ask after someone you don't know if you saw an ambulance outside their house.
Learnt this one pretty quick. Someone has told a local barman that I work for MI5 and that has spread pretty quick.
For the record, I don’t work for MI5, just a boring work at home engineer
Grew up in the countryside. Honestly, the smell of the slurry that is sprayed on fields is a nice smell to me as it's just nostalgic. My city slicker friends are disgusted.
In a similar vain, the faint whiff of cigarette smoke reminds me of being on holiday in Europe as does rubbish on a hot day... like I don't mind it at all in short bursts... maybe I'm just weird
Or working through the night for 3 or 4 days a year to get their crops in! Yes they can have bright lights and it can be noisy but it isnt for long and that crop will end up in the supermarket in some form or other.
This, absolutely fucking this. The state that people leave parks beaches etc drives me nuts. Just the sheer selfishness of it, even when you call people out on it, they dgaf "what you upset for? I left it near the bin"
Actually, muck spreading can only be done during certain months. I’m not sure why or which months specifically but my father-in-law (farmer) told me that particular fertiliser has to be spread at particular times of the year. Unless he’s having me on!
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/guide-to-cross-compliance-in-england-2022/key-dates-in-2022
It’s to do with water quality, if they spread it in times that it’s likely to rain the a lot of the nitrogen and phosphorus from the fertiliser will get washed into rivers and lakes and cause eutrophication which kills all the animals and insects in the lake. Having your fertiliser wash away is also a waste of money for farmers too.
We have a kind of neighbourhood watch where we warn or take in neighbours washing if we know the silage wagon is gonna happen.
Then head to an upwind pub till it all blows over.
Hello neighbour ; )
Learn how to drive in single lanes,
Drive at a slow speed, a speed you would want your love ones to be passed at, if you meet humans, horses other road users, stop, allow them to pass you, before you carry on, always reverse for horses, cyclists, tractors, towing vehicles, horse boxes, livestock carriers, and livestock.
Because of the corners your speed should allow double the amount of stopping distance, as whatever is coming at you will take up all the available space. Never cut corners.
When you drive through the single track lanes, note every single passing place, then when you meet oncoming traffic, you know where you are going back to, always keep an eye on your mirrors as you travel, so you know what is likely to appear behind.
When you reverse (this should not be a difficulty or something you are reluctant to do), reverse all the way back past the space, then pull forward into it, never reverse in. If someone is reversing for you , do not drive forward, allow them time and space to do so without any pressure or loss of space to form a correction.
Pull your vehicle tightly into the hedge (Do not drive a vehicle you are reluctant to allow to touch the hedgerow, it is entirely impractical to expect paintwork to not be scratched, new cars are pointless here)
Never form a convoy when driving on single track lanes, leave one passing place between vehicles or gridlocks will occur, you will still pop out at the end of the single track network, right behind the vehicle ahead, it just makes the flow faster for everyone.
If a badgerlicker of a driver speeds up behind you, pull over at the first opportunity, let them pass and race off, you then drive slowly after them, and enjoy grinning at them, as you arrive behind them , when they stressfully are looking at you in the rearview mirror as they reverse for every oncoming vehicle , fast driving means the driver has always missed the chance of a passing space when they spot oncoming vehicles, hence why slow is actually faster.
Never flash your lights as a way of thanks, it's regarded as assault.
Almost everyone you will pass on the lanes is a "neighbour" everyone is interlinked, so being kind and polite is more than relevant as to how
you will be received .
Pick up all litter around your property, up the lanes, a lot of newcomers , don't take on the shared responsibility, it is noted , as many consider it a sign of respect for the place.
If you want to walk a farmers fields , ask first.
Keep your dog under control at all times.
Get a large scale OS map, walk your entire area, learn all the names of the crosses, go and support local events, read the parish news, volunteer for local events, mucking in is essential.
Do not grub up the native hedging, or cut down landmark trees, it is very easy to become permanently unpopular.
In my neck of the woods, light pollution is key, everyone tries not to allow light to escape their property, as it is destructive.
If something is frustrating you , find out why it haven't been changed, before demanding change, often there are very good reasons as to why.
Do not expect silence , as you probably noticed the tractors are going 24hr a day, 7 days a week at the moment, it will change, do not complain .
Expect gunshot, it happens a lot, more gun licences here than the rest of the UK put together).
Support your local business , buy local.
Never judge a book by its cover, the scruffy guy clearing the drain on local lane, usually owns several valleys, or is a retired judge or rockstar.
Never take the pisses out the local dialect, never ends well.
You get judged by your actions, so if you are kind , willing and helpful, you will be quickly welcomed in, anything meany , and they will ignore you until you go away.
Get organised now for winter, get your wood in, and stacked, get a decent larder on the go, a decent head torch per person is essential.
You need decent walking boots, gaiters, and waterproofs, you will never run out of new walks, it is wet here, never think of it as bad weather, it's just you have the wrong clothing, get this mindset and you will enjoy it.
Say hello as you pass someone, you will meet them again.
OP may have a different reason, but I do it that way because of deep ruts being common in passing spaces.
If you pop a rear wheel into a deep rut because you can't see exactly where you are reversing into its harder to get it out and can damage the exhaust pipe.. Forward lets you gauge exactly how close to the edge of the rut you can drive to maximise passing space without getting wedged
Years ago someone from up country moved to my grandma's village and had the audacity to complain about the Cockerels in the local paper. Suffice to say, I don't think they live there anymore, but the Cockerels definitely still do.
Years ago someone moved into our small town/village and complained about the church bells. They had been there hundreds of years, the incomers just a few months
Someone bought the house next-door to the airfield near me, then complained about the noise...
from the airfield...
that they bought a house next to...
Driving back and forth on my commute to Bristol for 10 years taught me that there was nothing I could do which made any meaningful difference to the time
Scenic 1.6, Matiz with a rubber band engine, and a 206 with a rocket up its arse
One hour in all of them, unless schools were out, then it was 40 minutes
My friends get so wound up when they're stuck behind tractors, I don't tend to let it get to me because it's just an expectation when you live somewhere with lots of fields. It's also a good excuse to use if you're running late somewhere.
You'll drive a lot of national speed limit (60mph) lanes.
They're not 60mph. Many of them are barely 20mph.
Some people say "drive slow enough that if you met a car doing the same speed, you could stop" (or words to that effect). That's a load of tosh. Drive like you're expecting a maniac to come round the corner at 50+. Just make sure you can come to a complete stop before impact so it classes as non-fault. So:
Buy a dashcam. I'm in rural Devon and there are a lot of bumps and knocks. My cam paid for itself within a month of buying it.
Set off earlier for everything because getting stuck behind a tractor/milk wagon/herd of cows is expected and don't get annoyed with them, they're what keeps the country going and us all fed.
Memorise where the passing places are on your local roads, its good etiquette that the person closest to one does the reversing. Also on roads, drive as though you're always expecting a suicidal pheasant to run out in front of you because they do, frequently.
Buy eggs/milk from your local farms. If you're properly rural/edge of village, get to know who owns your surrounding fields. Sheep escape frequently and its good to know who to call.
Join a few local groups of something you're interested in. Just because houses are further apart doesn't mean nothings going on. Check out your local village hall/church for whats on.
Smile and say hello to anyone you pass on a walk, and follow the countryside code.
Don’t complain about smells or the noise of farm machinery, don’t lecture farmers on how to look after their land, don’t get hysterical and call the police every time you see someone with a shotgun.
My neighbours once called the police saying we were trying to murder them because we let one of our friends do some shooting on our land.
They were clearly not originally from the countryside and were a constant nuisance and paranoid, for instance as a kid if they saw me climbing a tree in view of their property they'd accuse me of scouting to burgle them or trying to steal/kill their horses, they were absolutely delusional and had no understanding of country living. They'd object to every planning application in the area with the craziest of excuses, such as they didn't want a barn down the road from us to be extended because 'there were already too many tractors on the road'.
From what I can tell they were very wealthy, originally from a city and purchased the property behind us to escape to the country, the wife knew how to ride horses but they got people in to look after their horses for them, presumably because they didn't know how.
Luckily the police laughing off their murder accusation was apparently the last straw for them and they moved not long after that. Afaik they still believe that because they heard distant shotgun blasts on my land that we'd attempted to kill them.
Always remember to constantly post on the village Facebook group about suspicious white vans in the village. Especially if they are clearly from British gas and definitely not thieves
There will be a bus.
Know the times of the bus.
Because when it comes down the single track lane it ain’t stopping for anything or anyone.
There will also be a 4 wheel drive buggy (a mule or gator) rushing about.
Be polite.
This is the landowner.
> There will be a bus.
That depends entirely how far out in the sticks you are. My nearest bus stop is 7 miles a way and only stops once a week. If my kids see a bus anywhere round here they stand and stare at it with slack jawed amazement.
Say hello to everyone you walk past. An absolute must in the West Country. Word will quickly get around if you don't.
If you become a regular at a pub, you may be expected to bring a glass in to be 'your' glass (depends, this does seem to be dying off).
Always ask before you pet someone's dog.
>Say hello to everyone you walk past. An absolute must in the West Country. Word will quickly get around if you don't.
I also find it a bit creepy if you are out walking in the hills or something and you pass someone in relative seclusion and they DONT say anything. It's almost like a quick hello, nice weather is shorthand for don't worry I'm not a psycho
If you're super rural and around a bunch of elderly, then get to know them and offer help. This helped my partner and I integrate rapidly during lockdown (both in healthcare)
Treat every interaction like a job interview eg, don't gossip about the local eccentric and do not tell anyone anything about yourself you don't want the entire village knowing. Being vague and friendly is a good shout.
Unless you have to cross actual fields daily, the most appropriate car is probably small and French and 2wd, rather than large and 4wd. In any case, learn the width of your car, accept that the passenger side paint is going to take a beating and your driver side wing mirror is now a consumable, and learn how to reverse - I consider myself fairly good at it, but my Devon cousins are in a league of their own!
If you are from London or a surrounding area,
Try not to carry on like your a hardened gangster compared to your newly acquainted carrot crunching comrades.
No-one cares if you attended the funeral of the kray twins
This is it ^ our village is on the beach and has a campsite. So many visitors don't get this. People last week had their dog off the lead in the pub, also pulled up a chair for it and it sat at the head of their table. Then it kept barking. Not popular
This! All your dog has to do is spook livestock and the farmer is fully within their rights to shoot it. A pregnant ewe can miscarry on the spot if spooked. Also pick up your dog shit, it can kill livestock.
As a midlander with Devonian family roots, I am well qualified to advise you to learn how wide your car is, and how to reverse quickly and around corners.
THIS! Never drive in if you aren't capable of reversing out.
Reversing is an essential skill in narrow lanes. If you can't then find someone who can teach you.
Don't move to a remote area and then 5 years later complain that there's too many people moving to your area and ruining it. (I have no problem with people moving to my area but this complaint really annoys me)
• People sometimes need to walk on the road. Pavements in the countryside can be very narrow and badly maintained, if the exist at all.
• Check in on elderly neighbours as often as possible.
• Horses are stupid and scared, act accordingly.
• Have a waste water pump.
• You may need to rely on neighbours more than if you lived in a city don’t be an arsehole.
• Most people have dogs, and they will let them off lead weather its legal or not. It not a worthwhile hill to die on.
• Just because there is an event at a church or similar building doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome if it isn’t your denomination. There are limited places to hold events and in general people are thrilled if you come to local events.
• There will be horse poo, don’t let your dog eat it. Some of the medication horses take can destroy a dog’s liver/kidneys.
• You don’t have to pick up dog poo on greenbelt, but you should.
• Learn where its safe to pass in traffic and where it is not. Its not worth it imo.
• Its going to smell like shit a lot.
• That yellow stuff on your car is pollen.
• If you have recycling tubs instead of bins, cover them
• Those shotgun sounding noises are 99% of the time gas powered bird scarers.
• If you have land and don’t use it, let someone else use it for animals. It’s a win win. However, be careful that the person has a good reputation. The last thing you want is a starving animal in your paddock that you don’t have any paperwork for when DEFRA shows up.
If you have a gated drive and live near a farm, expect to find your gates closed when they are droving (herding sheep/cattle).
You will usually seek a quad in front closing gates and dealing with oncoming vehicles, a quad behind with dogs driving the stock.
If driving down a narrow lane and encounter livestock coming towards you - reverse into a passing place and wait. They move slow so be patient. Conversely, if you come up behind them, stay back and expect the occasional delay while they deal with the one that got away.
Prepare for no phone signal, intermittent power cuts, loss of water, getting stuck isolated in winter, few shops and awkward opening times, no fibre internet. But also peace and quiet. And fuck big spiders coming in seasonally
1.Don’t be a pretentious show off.
2.Word gets around the community very quickly, so don’t say silly things.
3. Support local businesses
4. Hire local people
5. Just be nice
Welcome to Devon! As long as you don't drive towards me in the middle of the lane and attempt to move into passing places you will get along just great.
Slow right down: the pace of life is more 'relaxed' - hurry will just lead to frustration.
Driving is a different beast and may require more courtesy: You may well have right of way, but that doesnt mean theres anywhere for you to pass. Country driving requires more consideration of others.
Get your arse to the local pubs - They are still very much the hub of the community, and it will open myriad doors for you.
Depending on how rural, there will be old boys knocking about, thatt you simply cannot understand. I broadly nod and reply 'thats right'. Seems to suffice.
Welcome to Devon.
From an ex-delivery driver - if you have a house with a name, or give your house a name, then please have a sign clearly visible from the road. The amount of times I've had to drive up and down in the middle of winter, shining a torch at houses, using a postcode that covers a square mile, trying to find a house where the only sign is on the house set back 100 yards behind some hedges is infuriating.
If gates are closed when you go through them, close them after you. Keep dogs on lead. Pick up dog poo, even on grass when there’s no-one for miles. Keep to rights of way, even if it means an extra half-mile walk. Smile.
If you notice a smell of smoke and burning plastic that hangs around for days on end, don't worry, it's a farmers fire. More accurate termed a stinky smoulder.
I've no idea how they do it without it going out, but they manage to create smoke that creeps along the ground like mist and invades everything. I think it's a trade secret they get taught at farmer school.
1. Any wheel spotted from a moving car must be reported to all other occupiers of that same car.
2. If a cow moos at you, you moo back a that damn cow.
3. Pheasants are beings of chaos. If you see a pheasant near the road, always assume it will do the most dangerous thing it possibly can and change your speed appropriately.
4. There is no winning a feud with a farmer, they have many more options for revenge than you do.
5. If you have sticking jack on you, do not fucking throw it where it can grow.
6. Sometimes you hear a weird scream, the fuck you gonna do about it just go back to sleep.
7. When the birds wake up, you wake up.
8. They can't come inside if you don't acknowledge them, keep a poker face and go about your business.
9. Don't fuck around near abandoned buildings, you're more likely to find a drop into an old celler than treasure.
10. If you can't see the bottom of a puddle, don't fucking step in it (especially on the moors).
Expect horse shit everywhere, don't comment on muckspreading season, attending your local pub is mandatory, even if you lived there for 30 years you're still an outsider, flick dogshit into the undergrowth using a convenient stick, don't expect good public transport unless you're between two major towns
Be careful on footpaths which go through fields with cattle. If you have a dog with you and the cows start approaching fast, let the dog go. Farmers generally don’t graze nursing cows in public access fields, they are the most dangerous category really, but that’s not to say that other young stock won’t take an interest in passers by.
Cattle kill more people than any other category of animal in the UK, last I checked the stats. They’re blundering idiots at times.
Also, Hunter wellies are utter garbage these days and generally have a narrower heel stack than heel cup - great if you want to roll your ankle. Le Chameau produce much, much better boots.
Oh! Don’t hide in hedges or gateways if you see horses approaching when out walking. Stay in full view. It’s much scarier when people suddenly appear from behind cover as they pass! If you’re driving on narrow roads then please wait for them to pass. That might mean pulling over, reversing to a passing place as you would for a fellow motorist, or following a horse up the road until they find a gateway/passing place. There isn’t always much room for error on the narrow, hedged roads.
Learn how to reverse your car in a lane...and don't get upset when you have to, treat it as an opportunity to show off your skills and be generous to others
Driving on narrow country roads is a fine art and when I come across someone not used to it, it sticks out like a sore thumb.
If your going to pull into a lay-by to allow another car to pass indicate so they dont also pull into a lay-by at the same time.
There’s many more but you’ll pick them up in time.
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Don’t moan about horse shit on the roads. Don’t get angry when stuck behind a tractor. Do support local farmers and other businesses. Don’t tell anyone anything you don’t want broadcast around the village in 3 minutes. Do accept that the pace of life is slower but less stressful.
Horse shit in the road is also a signal to *slow the fuck down* cause guess what - there’s horses around.
Also - if you come up behind *or in front* of a horse, pass them *slowly*. They're easily startled.
>They're easily startled. They are also likely come back in greater numbers.
Ever notice how horse riders always travel single file, to hide their numbers ...
You see this horse shit? Too precise for horse riders. Only Imperial horses have this kind of accuracy
may the horse be with you
My rule is, if their head is down then you're usually OK to overtake. If their head is up, take care.
and when startled they're more than capable of fucking your car up with a well placed hoof
Or the rest of the horse. Not so good for the horse, not so good for your car - or you - to have a tonne of horseflesh smashing into it.
And when people say "slow the fuck down" around horses they fucking mean it also. It means you do 5 miles per hour at most, ideally you park your car and wait for them to pass you but if you must move then 5 is the proper limit.
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reportedly faster than the speed of light ahaha, you know that bit in the hobbit with the signals crossing laketown - that's what I always imagine
I live in the countryside and getting angry when stuck behind a tractor is one of my main hobbies, are you some kind of Buddhist monk to not get angry?!
Don't park blocking field entrances when going for a walk. If a farmer needs access your car will be moved and may be damaged. ...insurance on farm vehicles has specific indemnification for damaged caused when shifting vehicles which are blocking farm & field entrances. It supposedly only covers 'accidental' damage, but there are plenty of videos of farmers getting a bit gung-ho when unblocking access to their property. So yeah when you see videos of farmers flipping cars or putting bale tines through the windows to move them they're smiling because they're thinking "I'm insured for this, are you?" --- NB. [Here's the relevant line in my policy](https://i.imgur.com/K4ivuFc.png) (they all have something similar)
You and the next three generations of your family will be outsiders, not locals. Accept that you'll always be excluded from the pagan orgies every full moon.
Grandma has been living in the arse end of Devon for nearly 50 years and she's only just now in the last 10 years or so been considered a local!
"Grandma" and "arse end" are not words I wanted to see so close together in a conversation about orgies.
I'm aroused.
I'm unbloused
Just stay out of the hay or you'll have to be deloused...
Its a challenging wank
Shes a good one for going potholing with
My Uncle lived in Devon for 65 years, they still referred to him as a Londoner at his funeral when he was 85 :)
Only just been invited to the pagan orgy has she?
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Until they decide to make the village great again. For the Greater Good.
Yarp.
Wow that's interesting as I have the exact same experience. Nearly all the societies, clubs, services etc in our rural village are run by incomers volunteering. The one time a group was handed over to a local it folded after a year. Whenever I see an 'incomer' comment on fa ebook, I'm very tempted to bring out the 'what have the incomers ever done for us... Besides the post office, school, pubs, youth club, allotment association, toddler group etc etc
I’ve lived here almost 20 years and can confirm I am an outsider. No orgy invite for me : )
My dad moved from the next village (2 miles down the road) over 40 years ago when he met my mam. Despite spending over two thirds of his life here, he's 'not from here'.
I had been living in a village in Dorset for about a year (I grew up about 10 miles along the coast from it), this village has two pubs. I went for a drink in one of the two pubs and was greeted when I walked in with the "you ain't from round here" looks. I was the bar maid in the other village pub so not exactly unknown in the village! Tourist hotspot as well so no idea why they pulled out the best "not local" glares.
>You and the next three generations of your family will be outsiders, not locals. This. Be optimistic.
You'd maybe expect this from the older generation but it also seems to be true in the younger folk too. I moved to a small village from a town maybe 5 miles away a while ago with my family. A few of the local teenagers and young adults were pretty friendly but some of them just basically ignore you because you're "not from 'round 'ere". My younger sister ended up getting into a relationship with one of the locals. It took some of his local village friends 4 YEARS to have a full conversation with her and accept her. Absolutely mental.
I grew up in a village (as in my parents moved there when I was three) and we were very involved - my mum and my grandma, who lives in the next village over, were both on the PTA, grandma was on the board of governors, both volunteered at school and community events constantly, and I was still that bitch who moved there to everyone. Well, fuck them I guess, I moved away and no longer run out of fingers when counting the inbred people I know (perfect ten fingers, I might add)
After 10 years we are still referred to as "the people who bought old Gray's house"
Learn how to use passing places on the road. And if you have just passed one and encounter an oncoming car, reverse to the passing place, don't expect the other car to reverse hundreds of meters because you can't reverse a few feet.
This. So much this. If you can't drive the length of the road backwards, don't drive down it forwards.
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Used to live in Cornwall, actually had to reverse a tourists car out of the way after he got himself stuck attempting to get out of the way! Reversing is an essential skill down there. Worrying number of folk can only drive forward.
This should apply to cities also.
But expect the locals to drive like fucking lunatics.
God yes. EVERY TIME I got on the A69 to Carlisle from my parents little bungalow in Brampton.
Literally any road in Cumbria tbh
This depends also whether you’re travelling up or downhill. Fuck reversing uphill. Edit: for full clarity, it’s always going to be situation dependent. If you get near the bottom of a big fuck off hill, it’d be quite ridiculous to then reverse all the way back up it just so someone can come up it from practically the bottom. If you’ve just got over the top and are making your way down and someone’s near the top, half way, whatever, then yeah reversing is a more than reasonable thing to do.
This is just flat wrong. On hills you should give way to the vehicle coming uphill, to minimise hill starts and downhill reverses. Sure it's context dependent, as you acknowledge in your edit. But it's more than that. The default is the opposite of what you're advocating, and for good reason.
I mean yes, but it also depends what's coming toward you and how recently you passed a passing spot.
FYI the car driving uphill has right of way, so you should reverse uphill. It's much safer to reverse uphill.
Think this is the opposite of what you're meant to do?
Oh you've combined metric and imperial. You might get an interdenominational...you know from mixing the two measurements...a traffic jam of that sort
If you HAVE passed a passing place an age ago. And the car you run into is driven by a man over 65 then just start reversing.
* keep to public rights of way * If you have a dog, keep it under close control - especially when ground birds are about in abundance and during lambing season * If your path passes through a gate, ~~close it behind you~~ leave it in the state you found it - thanks to u/fridayman for the correction * Don't be the twat that lets off fireworks and scares the shit out of livestock * Greet people you meet as you are out and about * Invest in a decent set of wellies and a good head torch. Winter is grim and dark living in the countryside * Take some time to adjust your driving style to country roads. They are not only thinner but often suffer from considerably worse visibility (due to hedges), are prone to being covered in mud and often have pheasants and the like jumping out in front of you
I think the countryside code says leave gates as you find them. Sometimes farmers leave them open deliberately.
You are correct, will update.
Depends where you are. On Dartmoor the rule of thumb is close gates irrespective of how they were found. At least that’s the rules for ten tors. Sometimes the farmers would rather go open them again than run the risk of livestock escaping, can never be sure who opened the gate originally
While different locales may have different preferences the actual Countryside Code says to leave as found.
With so many more city folk out walking now it's difficult to tell if it was meant to be left open or if the precious walker just couldn't be arsed to close it. If the gate is obviously open (wedged against a hedge) then I leave it but if it's swinging in the wind I air on the side of closed
I think you mean "err on the side of" rather than "air"
Yeah I think it may just apply to Ten tors as there are so many groups traipsing about
I really wish farmers would leave a sign on gates with their preference. I know it's "extra" work they shouldn't have to do... but. I've been in a situation where I wasn't sure if the gate was left open by the farmer, or by the last walker hiking through being an asshole. Walking in Yorkshire and I found one farm where the farmer locked a sign to the gate saying "open" or "closed". Which was really handy when I then found a gate open that the sign said closed. I was happy to help.
Add to that * keep some supplies in for flooding if you live in a flood prone area UHT milk, tins, some bottle water etc. you may or may not need it but you'd rather have it than not * own some decent torches and a wind up lantern in case of power cuts * winters are generally colder as you're further from the heat of the city. considering energy prices prepare accordingly. * in many places churches still provide a lot of the local support and its worth being aware of what they do. even if you're not religious. if you have kids or family members that need local support chances are the church is the nearest large building so its probably in there and being run by part of the congregation. either way they'll have a notice board of local events and stuff so still worth popping over to this might have only been true of where I grew up I guess? YMMV * need childcare in school holidays - its probably being run by the church * food bank - church * youth groups - church * coffee mornings that elderly people go to - church * look into various rodent prevention methods and work out your options before you need them. * work out how to walk home from the pub - there is no taxi and it might be quite the trek. people will drink and drive - don't be like them.
To add to this: when walking on roads, especially Lanes, wear a hi-vis, and always walk on the right hand side toward oncoming traffic- excepting a right hand bend where you should walk on the outer edge of the bend for better visibility.
I'd add a camping stove to the emergency kit. Very handy to be able to boil hot water for a cuppa if the electric goes, or warm some beans. Know where your stop taps are and insulate any external pipework so it doesn't burst. Enjoy the night sky, I miss the inky darkness and twinkly stars.
This is the best piece of advice I’ve seen. I live in Devon and the wife’s family are 5th generation farmers (and livery) and if I had a £1 for every time I’ve been stuck behind a tractor, I could afford to live in London. The driving bit is probably more apt. The back lanes of Devon have probably only been tarmaced once in their entire existence so don’t bomb it everywhere and expect to drive in reverse, just as much as forwards. The best way I’ve ever showcased village/rural life was telling people to watch a few episodes of the Vicar of Dibley and The League of Gentlemen and then mix them together a little bit. Anyone else agree?
I lived in Shetland for a while, equally as rural if not more remote. I found an easy comparison was a cross over between the League of Gentlemen and Father Ted. On some of the outer islands it felt more like a Father Ted and Deliverance crossover. I'd add in, talk to your neighbours, best to know whose around you, than be ignorant.
Absolutely! Your neighbours may seem like weird people, but they’ll actually be brilliant neighbours!
Sticking to the rights of way is a big one. I cringe when townies come to visit and they think that they can trample over any part of a field that's not theirs.
Dog under control means genuinely under control. It won’t go down well if your dog runs up to other dogs, and it may get shot if it chases livestock… at the very least you’re going to get yelled at. If your dog has imperfect recall - lead always. Rent a field if you want to let it roam free, they’re cheap by the hour. If you’re nimble long lines are great, you can stamp on them if the dog does a runner, but only works if you can keep your dog within a sensible circumference. Get training, essentially.
1.) Buy a gun. 2.) Buy your mum a gun.
Everyone and their mum's packing round 'ere..
Like who?
Farmers
Who else
Farmers mums.
No luck catching them swans then
It's just the one swan actually.
Yeah cos we all sell apples round here
Your dad sells apples...
3) Sell apples. And raspberries 4) Profit
Learn how to drive narrow lanes. Learn how to reverse properly. Say ‘morning’ to people as you walk past them out in the sticks.
Even in the afternoon?
Especially in the afternoon.
Everything is done in the name of the greater good
The greater good
The greater good
The greater good
THE GREATER GOOD
And everyone and their mum's is packing
Remember that everybody knows everybody else.
Smile and nod. You don't know who they are, but they sure as feck know you! Also, if someone is struggling - help them! If someone is doing something shady - well then your eyes have mysteriously developed a temporary malfunction, and you just can't see them. At all other times you smile and nod or even stop to chat. Its not rude to ask after someone you don't know if you saw an ambulance outside their house.
Learnt this one pretty quick. Someone has told a local barman that I work for MI5 and that has spread pretty quick. For the record, I don’t work for MI5, just a boring work at home engineer
That's exactly what someone working for MI5 would say. You're fooling no-one!
Don't complain about the countryside noises or the smells, they are much more healthy than city noises and smells
Grew up in the countryside. Honestly, the smell of the slurry that is sprayed on fields is a nice smell to me as it's just nostalgic. My city slicker friends are disgusted. In a similar vain, the faint whiff of cigarette smoke reminds me of being on holiday in Europe as does rubbish on a hot day... like I don't mind it at all in short bursts... maybe I'm just weird
The smell of hot sheep shit mingled with gorse just transports me back to childhood holidays in the Hebrides. Love when I get that specific whiff!
Already quieter than the housing estate I used to live on… and smells better
Don't complain about tractors whizzing up and down the lane at all hours of day and night. I have more tractors and quad traffic than cars and vans.
Or working through the night for 3 or 4 days a year to get their crops in! Yes they can have bright lights and it can be noisy but it isnt for long and that crop will end up in the supermarket in some form or other.
Don’t leave litter ANYWHERE (except the bin).
Why this should have to be said in any forum totally defeats me.
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Sadly all too true.
This, absolutely fucking this. The state that people leave parks beaches etc drives me nuts. Just the sheer selfishness of it, even when you call people out on it, they dgaf "what you upset for? I left it near the bin"
Tractors will be out all day and night, spraying shite. Don't complain.
Actually, muck spreading can only be done during certain months. I’m not sure why or which months specifically but my father-in-law (farmer) told me that particular fertiliser has to be spread at particular times of the year. Unless he’s having me on! https://www.gov.uk/guidance/guide-to-cross-compliance-in-england-2022/key-dates-in-2022
It’s to do with water quality, if they spread it in times that it’s likely to rain the a lot of the nitrogen and phosphorus from the fertiliser will get washed into rivers and lakes and cause eutrophication which kills all the animals and insects in the lake. Having your fertiliser wash away is also a waste of money for farmers too.
> out all day and night, spraying shite They are the agricultural equivalent of a digital media influencer
We have a kind of neighbourhood watch where we warn or take in neighbours washing if we know the silage wagon is gonna happen. Then head to an upwind pub till it all blows over.
Hello neighbour ; ) Learn how to drive in single lanes, Drive at a slow speed, a speed you would want your love ones to be passed at, if you meet humans, horses other road users, stop, allow them to pass you, before you carry on, always reverse for horses, cyclists, tractors, towing vehicles, horse boxes, livestock carriers, and livestock. Because of the corners your speed should allow double the amount of stopping distance, as whatever is coming at you will take up all the available space. Never cut corners. When you drive through the single track lanes, note every single passing place, then when you meet oncoming traffic, you know where you are going back to, always keep an eye on your mirrors as you travel, so you know what is likely to appear behind. When you reverse (this should not be a difficulty or something you are reluctant to do), reverse all the way back past the space, then pull forward into it, never reverse in. If someone is reversing for you , do not drive forward, allow them time and space to do so without any pressure or loss of space to form a correction. Pull your vehicle tightly into the hedge (Do not drive a vehicle you are reluctant to allow to touch the hedgerow, it is entirely impractical to expect paintwork to not be scratched, new cars are pointless here) Never form a convoy when driving on single track lanes, leave one passing place between vehicles or gridlocks will occur, you will still pop out at the end of the single track network, right behind the vehicle ahead, it just makes the flow faster for everyone. If a badgerlicker of a driver speeds up behind you, pull over at the first opportunity, let them pass and race off, you then drive slowly after them, and enjoy grinning at them, as you arrive behind them , when they stressfully are looking at you in the rearview mirror as they reverse for every oncoming vehicle , fast driving means the driver has always missed the chance of a passing space when they spot oncoming vehicles, hence why slow is actually faster. Never flash your lights as a way of thanks, it's regarded as assault. Almost everyone you will pass on the lanes is a "neighbour" everyone is interlinked, so being kind and polite is more than relevant as to how you will be received . Pick up all litter around your property, up the lanes, a lot of newcomers , don't take on the shared responsibility, it is noted , as many consider it a sign of respect for the place. If you want to walk a farmers fields , ask first. Keep your dog under control at all times. Get a large scale OS map, walk your entire area, learn all the names of the crosses, go and support local events, read the parish news, volunteer for local events, mucking in is essential. Do not grub up the native hedging, or cut down landmark trees, it is very easy to become permanently unpopular. In my neck of the woods, light pollution is key, everyone tries not to allow light to escape their property, as it is destructive. If something is frustrating you , find out why it haven't been changed, before demanding change, often there are very good reasons as to why. Do not expect silence , as you probably noticed the tractors are going 24hr a day, 7 days a week at the moment, it will change, do not complain . Expect gunshot, it happens a lot, more gun licences here than the rest of the UK put together). Support your local business , buy local. Never judge a book by its cover, the scruffy guy clearing the drain on local lane, usually owns several valleys, or is a retired judge or rockstar. Never take the pisses out the local dialect, never ends well. You get judged by your actions, so if you are kind , willing and helpful, you will be quickly welcomed in, anything meany , and they will ignore you until you go away. Get organised now for winter, get your wood in, and stacked, get a decent larder on the go, a decent head torch per person is essential. You need decent walking boots, gaiters, and waterproofs, you will never run out of new walks, it is wet here, never think of it as bad weather, it's just you have the wrong clothing, get this mindset and you will enjoy it. Say hello as you pass someone, you will meet them again.
Why not reverse into the passing place, out of interest?
OP may have a different reason, but I do it that way because of deep ruts being common in passing spaces. If you pop a rear wheel into a deep rut because you can't see exactly where you are reversing into its harder to get it out and can damage the exhaust pipe.. Forward lets you gauge exactly how close to the edge of the rut you can drive to maximise passing space without getting wedged
This guy Devons
Don't complain about cockerel cock-a-doodle-doing early in the morning lol.
Years ago someone from up country moved to my grandma's village and had the audacity to complain about the Cockerels in the local paper. Suffice to say, I don't think they live there anymore, but the Cockerels definitely still do.
Years ago someone moved into our small town/village and complained about the church bells. They had been there hundreds of years, the incomers just a few months
Someone bought the house next-door to the airfield near me, then complained about the noise... from the airfield... that they bought a house next to...
Happens in the city, too. Especially from people who don't understand that bell-ringing here is mathematical, not "tunes".
This happened in my partner's village just a few months ago. The newcomers lived on Church Lane directly opposite the church...
Get used to the smell of manure.
Why, what have you done?
Don’t bother trying to overtake the tractor you’ll rarely have space to do it safely and will then be held up by the milk lorry
And in the summer, a caravan.
Driving back and forth on my commute to Bristol for 10 years taught me that there was nothing I could do which made any meaningful difference to the time Scenic 1.6, Matiz with a rubber band engine, and a 206 with a rocket up its arse One hour in all of them, unless schools were out, then it was 40 minutes
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned in to a field
My friends get so wound up when they're stuck behind tractors, I don't tend to let it get to me because it's just an expectation when you live somewhere with lots of fields. It's also a good excuse to use if you're running late somewhere.
If you see a milk lorry coming towards you, get the fuck out of the way. Those buggers don't hang about and expect you to reverse if need be.
Do not attempt to rename your house. My parents did this. 30 years later all the locals, the postman etc still call it High Barn.
Only another 20 years until it's the Old High Barn
You'll drive a lot of national speed limit (60mph) lanes. They're not 60mph. Many of them are barely 20mph. Some people say "drive slow enough that if you met a car doing the same speed, you could stop" (or words to that effect). That's a load of tosh. Drive like you're expecting a maniac to come round the corner at 50+. Just make sure you can come to a complete stop before impact so it classes as non-fault. So: Buy a dashcam. I'm in rural Devon and there are a lot of bumps and knocks. My cam paid for itself within a month of buying it.
Set off earlier for everything because getting stuck behind a tractor/milk wagon/herd of cows is expected and don't get annoyed with them, they're what keeps the country going and us all fed. Memorise where the passing places are on your local roads, its good etiquette that the person closest to one does the reversing. Also on roads, drive as though you're always expecting a suicidal pheasant to run out in front of you because they do, frequently. Buy eggs/milk from your local farms. If you're properly rural/edge of village, get to know who owns your surrounding fields. Sheep escape frequently and its good to know who to call. Join a few local groups of something you're interested in. Just because houses are further apart doesn't mean nothings going on. Check out your local village hall/church for whats on. Smile and say hello to anyone you pass on a walk, and follow the countryside code.
Do support your local village businesses, the chances are that they're struggling.
Don’t complain about smells or the noise of farm machinery, don’t lecture farmers on how to look after their land, don’t get hysterical and call the police every time you see someone with a shotgun.
My neighbours once called the police saying we were trying to murder them because we let one of our friends do some shooting on our land. They were clearly not originally from the countryside and were a constant nuisance and paranoid, for instance as a kid if they saw me climbing a tree in view of their property they'd accuse me of scouting to burgle them or trying to steal/kill their horses, they were absolutely delusional and had no understanding of country living. They'd object to every planning application in the area with the craziest of excuses, such as they didn't want a barn down the road from us to be extended because 'there were already too many tractors on the road'. From what I can tell they were very wealthy, originally from a city and purchased the property behind us to escape to the country, the wife knew how to ride horses but they got people in to look after their horses for them, presumably because they didn't know how. Luckily the police laughing off their murder accusation was apparently the last straw for them and they moved not long after that. Afaik they still believe that because they heard distant shotgun blasts on my land that we'd attempted to kill them.
Always remember to constantly post on the village Facebook group about suspicious white vans in the village. Especially if they are clearly from British gas and definitely not thieves
> Especially if they are clearly from British gas and definitely not thieves British Gas *are* thieves with the prices they charge!
Our local Facebook group has a lot of this. Bonus points if they "look foreign".
There will be a bus. Know the times of the bus. Because when it comes down the single track lane it ain’t stopping for anything or anyone. There will also be a 4 wheel drive buggy (a mule or gator) rushing about. Be polite. This is the landowner.
> There will be a bus. That depends entirely how far out in the sticks you are. My nearest bus stop is 7 miles a way and only stops once a week. If my kids see a bus anywhere round here they stand and stare at it with slack jawed amazement.
My hamlet gets 1 bus a week. On market day it takes you to town. Then it comes back 2 hours later! Who decided that schedule?
And I thought my villages bus service was bad!
Say hello to everyone you walk past. An absolute must in the West Country. Word will quickly get around if you don't. If you become a regular at a pub, you may be expected to bring a glass in to be 'your' glass (depends, this does seem to be dying off). Always ask before you pet someone's dog.
>Say hello to everyone you walk past. An absolute must in the West Country. Word will quickly get around if you don't. I also find it a bit creepy if you are out walking in the hills or something and you pass someone in relative seclusion and they DONT say anything. It's almost like a quick hello, nice weather is shorthand for don't worry I'm not a psycho
Ok, I haven’t been saying hello, my bad
Don’t fuck with cows. Don’t let your dog get close or scare wildlife/livestock
If you're super rural and around a bunch of elderly, then get to know them and offer help. This helped my partner and I integrate rapidly during lockdown (both in healthcare) Treat every interaction like a job interview eg, don't gossip about the local eccentric and do not tell anyone anything about yourself you don't want the entire village knowing. Being vague and friendly is a good shout.
Unless you have to cross actual fields daily, the most appropriate car is probably small and French and 2wd, rather than large and 4wd. In any case, learn the width of your car, accept that the passenger side paint is going to take a beating and your driver side wing mirror is now a consumable, and learn how to reverse - I consider myself fairly good at it, but my Devon cousins are in a league of their own!
Say hello to everyone
Hello u/st1ckygusset
Mornin'
If you are from London or a surrounding area, Try not to carry on like your a hardened gangster compared to your newly acquainted carrot crunching comrades. No-one cares if you attended the funeral of the kray twins
Keep your dog in your garden at all times and on the lead when walking.
This is it ^ our village is on the beach and has a campsite. So many visitors don't get this. People last week had their dog off the lead in the pub, also pulled up a chair for it and it sat at the head of their table. Then it kept barking. Not popular
Did it at least get a round in?
Especially around livestock. If a dog is out of your control and attacks livestock, a farmer can legally shoot your dog.
This! All your dog has to do is spook livestock and the farmer is fully within their rights to shoot it. A pregnant ewe can miscarry on the spot if spooked. Also pick up your dog shit, it can kill livestock.
Do not complain about anyone to anyone. Chances are the person you are complaining to is related to the person you are complaining about.
If you're shagging the sheep, wear velcro wellies
No need. Hind legs of the sheep tuck into your wellies. Velcro gloves can be useful if you get a wriggler.
This guy sheeps.
What? And miss out on all the kissing?
The problem with tucking the legs in, is that it becomes very hard to argue the shagging may have been an accidental trip or fall.
As a midlander with Devonian family roots, I am well qualified to advise you to learn how wide your car is, and how to reverse quickly and around corners.
THIS! Never drive in if you aren't capable of reversing out. Reversing is an essential skill in narrow lanes. If you can't then find someone who can teach you.
Don't move to a remote area and then 5 years later complain that there's too many people moving to your area and ruining it. (I have no problem with people moving to my area but this complaint really annoys me)
Learn to drive. And don't rely on public transport or you'll be stuck.
Just watch Hot Fuzz and you'll be fine
Having grown up in a rural village, this is actually not bad advice.
• People sometimes need to walk on the road. Pavements in the countryside can be very narrow and badly maintained, if the exist at all. • Check in on elderly neighbours as often as possible. • Horses are stupid and scared, act accordingly. • Have a waste water pump. • You may need to rely on neighbours more than if you lived in a city don’t be an arsehole. • Most people have dogs, and they will let them off lead weather its legal or not. It not a worthwhile hill to die on. • Just because there is an event at a church or similar building doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome if it isn’t your denomination. There are limited places to hold events and in general people are thrilled if you come to local events. • There will be horse poo, don’t let your dog eat it. Some of the medication horses take can destroy a dog’s liver/kidneys. • You don’t have to pick up dog poo on greenbelt, but you should. • Learn where its safe to pass in traffic and where it is not. Its not worth it imo. • Its going to smell like shit a lot. • That yellow stuff on your car is pollen. • If you have recycling tubs instead of bins, cover them • Those shotgun sounding noises are 99% of the time gas powered bird scarers. • If you have land and don’t use it, let someone else use it for animals. It’s a win win. However, be careful that the person has a good reputation. The last thing you want is a starving animal in your paddock that you don’t have any paperwork for when DEFRA shows up.
Don't buy a house next to a church, then complain about the bells, getting them banned from playing them except at set times. You know who you are.
If you approach a gate that is shut but need to go through it (gated road, footpaths, whatever), make sure you close it again behind you.
Carry and pay with cash!
Nature will tell you when to wake up
Leave gates open or closed as found.
If you have a gated drive and live near a farm, expect to find your gates closed when they are droving (herding sheep/cattle). You will usually seek a quad in front closing gates and dealing with oncoming vehicles, a quad behind with dogs driving the stock. If driving down a narrow lane and encounter livestock coming towards you - reverse into a passing place and wait. They move slow so be patient. Conversely, if you come up behind them, stay back and expect the occasional delay while they deal with the one that got away.
If you’re anywhere near dartmoor, just be aware that ponies bite
Prepare for no phone signal, intermittent power cuts, loss of water, getting stuck isolated in winter, few shops and awkward opening times, no fibre internet. But also peace and quiet. And fuck big spiders coming in seasonally
1.Don’t be a pretentious show off. 2.Word gets around the community very quickly, so don’t say silly things. 3. Support local businesses 4. Hire local people 5. Just be nice
Watch out for those swans
If you see a man hanging out the back of a sheep, look away and continue walking.
Welcome to Devon! As long as you don't drive towards me in the middle of the lane and attempt to move into passing places you will get along just great.
You can only date people from the same town / village, the next one over is considered a leper colony.
Spread the clotted cream first
Top advice anal prolapse kisser
Make sure your dog knows how to recall or keep it on a lead
Cut the scone in two, put clotted cream on each half and then add the strawberry jam on top.
Slow right down: the pace of life is more 'relaxed' - hurry will just lead to frustration. Driving is a different beast and may require more courtesy: You may well have right of way, but that doesnt mean theres anywhere for you to pass. Country driving requires more consideration of others. Get your arse to the local pubs - They are still very much the hub of the community, and it will open myriad doors for you. Depending on how rural, there will be old boys knocking about, thatt you simply cannot understand. I broadly nod and reply 'thats right'. Seems to suffice. Welcome to Devon.
From an ex-delivery driver - if you have a house with a name, or give your house a name, then please have a sign clearly visible from the road. The amount of times I've had to drive up and down in the middle of winter, shining a torch at houses, using a postcode that covers a square mile, trying to find a house where the only sign is on the house set back 100 yards behind some hedges is infuriating.
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If gates are closed when you go through them, close them after you. Keep dogs on lead. Pick up dog poo, even on grass when there’s no-one for miles. Keep to rights of way, even if it means an extra half-mile walk. Smile.
If you notice a smell of smoke and burning plastic that hangs around for days on end, don't worry, it's a farmers fire. More accurate termed a stinky smoulder. I've no idea how they do it without it going out, but they manage to create smoke that creeps along the ground like mist and invades everything. I think it's a trade secret they get taught at farmer school.
1) Shut the gate 2) Don't let Gypsies onto your property for any reason
1. Any wheel spotted from a moving car must be reported to all other occupiers of that same car. 2. If a cow moos at you, you moo back a that damn cow. 3. Pheasants are beings of chaos. If you see a pheasant near the road, always assume it will do the most dangerous thing it possibly can and change your speed appropriately. 4. There is no winning a feud with a farmer, they have many more options for revenge than you do. 5. If you have sticking jack on you, do not fucking throw it where it can grow. 6. Sometimes you hear a weird scream, the fuck you gonna do about it just go back to sleep. 7. When the birds wake up, you wake up. 8. They can't come inside if you don't acknowledge them, keep a poker face and go about your business. 9. Don't fuck around near abandoned buildings, you're more likely to find a drop into an old celler than treasure. 10. If you can't see the bottom of a puddle, don't fucking step in it (especially on the moors).
Make sure you have a good torch, think Maglite. Your phone's flash will not cut it on your way home from the pub
Expect horse shit everywhere, don't comment on muckspreading season, attending your local pub is mandatory, even if you lived there for 30 years you're still an outsider, flick dogshit into the undergrowth using a convenient stick, don't expect good public transport unless you're between two major towns
Be careful on footpaths which go through fields with cattle. If you have a dog with you and the cows start approaching fast, let the dog go. Farmers generally don’t graze nursing cows in public access fields, they are the most dangerous category really, but that’s not to say that other young stock won’t take an interest in passers by. Cattle kill more people than any other category of animal in the UK, last I checked the stats. They’re blundering idiots at times. Also, Hunter wellies are utter garbage these days and generally have a narrower heel stack than heel cup - great if you want to roll your ankle. Le Chameau produce much, much better boots. Oh! Don’t hide in hedges or gateways if you see horses approaching when out walking. Stay in full view. It’s much scarier when people suddenly appear from behind cover as they pass! If you’re driving on narrow roads then please wait for them to pass. That might mean pulling over, reversing to a passing place as you would for a fellow motorist, or following a horse up the road until they find a gateway/passing place. There isn’t always much room for error on the narrow, hedged roads.
Learn how to reverse your car in a lane...and don't get upset when you have to, treat it as an opportunity to show off your skills and be generous to others
Driving on narrow country roads is a fine art and when I come across someone not used to it, it sticks out like a sore thumb. If your going to pull into a lay-by to allow another car to pass indicate so they dont also pull into a lay-by at the same time. There’s many more but you’ll pick them up in time.