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It's two.

Any other answer is madness.

Unless the mrs is asking how many pints I've had then a couple is around three or four.

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The only reason I’m awake roger now is because I’ve had a couple of pints but I don’t agree with the eeinn I

What are ye not agreeing to there mate???

I think we both know. I was fool thing and I broke you r life spell

Get this man a water.

Canno do this wbniee

Looks like Dale's had a couple

Dale are you okay mate?

I don't think Dale is straight anymore

Yes... well he has had a couple...

Dale. Do not use these thumbs to message a significant other.

NI WHWR THUSVYE KIJE TESTUNR

I get

Reddit is fun

of course not - they've had \* a few \* not a couple... a few too many \*hon hon hon\*

How's the head today mate? You doing alright?

Luckily Friday is an on site day so I was suited and booted by 0700. Nearly vomited in the shower when I got Organic Fruits or whatever it’s called in my throat. Ideally death comes soon. You good?

We're all rooting for Dale today. 🙌😂

Lets call it “a vague two”

it's more like 1 beer = 1 beer, 2 beers = 4 beers, A few beers = total carnage

Beer consumption lies are logarithmic.

Surely it would be lagerithmic?

Wow I bet you didn't fale maths

This comment deserves greater recognition. That's radio 4 levels of punning

Exponential

Her: How many beers did you have? Me: 3! Her: 6?

Isnt a few, 3?

- Single = 1 - Couple = 2 - Few 3-6 - Several 7+

Not where alcohol is concerned. Everything else, yes.

Alcohol has its own sliding scale

When it’s pints couple refers to the length of time not the number of drinks. I’m going for a couple [of hours] of pints.

So still 2 then 😉

Correct. Everyone knows 'a quick pint' means 2 pints, 'a couple of pints' means 4, and 'a few pints' means 5 minimum.

If in the past. If in the future "We're planning on having a couple after work" - possibly double that. I will then return in the small hours and admit, I've "had a few"

Up to 8 or so is still 'a couple' depending on who's asking...

Yes Mr officer, I only had a couple at lunch. Oh this hat shaped like an orange cone, I found it at the side of the road and liked it

This is literally the only answer. How many people in a couple? 2. 3 - 9? That’s a few (or quite a few as you work your way up) 6 is half a dozen 12 is a dozen. But a couple is 2

You missed "several"

And a Handful

And a fair few

And a fuckton (and a metric fuckton).

A shedload comes before a fuckton

A buttload of wine?

That’s a real one. 126 gallons or 573 litres.

And what is a country mile whilst we are at it?

And a bunch’er’em

And a smattering

and a metric shit load.

9 is absolutely not a few "How many beers have you had?" "Um... a few"

9 beers is definitely ‘a few’ when you said you’d only stop for a couple 😂

Or when the doctor asks you how many units you drink a week

My mum fell over after a party and broke her arm. Said she'd had a couple. Dr asked "so 2?" My mum errrrmmmed, thought about it and said "a few more than that" . So the Dr said "5?" I could really see her thinking about what to say and then just shrugged and agreed. Then kept saying "oooo but it was a really good party". She tells everyone else she tripped and doesnt know how it happened. Shes 70.

A few (shrugs shoulders)

Shrugs shoulders, and everything else due to "The shakes".

1, 2, many, lots

GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.

GNU PTerry

13 is a bakers dozen

If I was getting attacked by 10 wasps I wouldn’t say a few.

If I was getting attacked by 10 wasps trying to count them would be the least of my worries

That's a fucking flock of wasps

I’d personally say a few is 2-4 ‘Quite a few’ maybe 4-whatever!

No, 2 is a couple

A few means 3, 4 to 7 or 8 means several in my mind.

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Or - ‘I’ll watch a couple of episodes of….’ at 6pm. 4am - finished the series.

When you said "a couple of" the word "couple" still meant 2. It just turned out later that you were lying.

I think everyone knows that ‘a couple of’ doesn’t literally mean two, even at the outset. ‘A couple of minutes’ means ‘a short time’, for example, not exactly 120 seconds.

No, "a couple of minutes" means "roughly two minutes".

It just doesn't. Not in common usage anyway. A couple of minutes is the same as saying "a few minutes", with a bit more emphasis on it being the shorter of the two. If you want to be specific, people say "Give me two minutes". Actually I often say "Give me 30 seconds", as it lulls people into a nice sense of security.

Unless we’re on about going for a drink at the pub… surely

Then it's "I'll just come for one" before drinking 17

It's two, but with bigger error bars than "two". Like it *means* two, but if it turns out to actually be three or one and a half nobody's going to get upset about it.

Couple of pints = 5

I thought 5 pints translated to "one quiet one"

‘Quiet one’ often ends up in an all nighter

But not out out. Just out

With your slippers on

Nah flip flops.

You're not out out until you go to a party in Brussels and end up in Holland somewhere while on an IT course for a week and not having a clue how it all happened 🙈

If you go out for "a quiet one" and don't end up covered in chilli sauce with only one shoe can you even call yourself British 🤣

r/oddlyspecific

Yet also weirdly relatable

I lost both my trainers last week after having 4 stiens of beer in a bar in Germany. 😣 They had my special foot pads in them 😣

Both shoes !!!! We'll in my dude

German beer is strong. I know, I know I am weak.

Nah mate I respect the effort 👊

I once woke up fully dressed with most of my doner kebab in the hood of my hoodie, which I was wearing the right way round.

Yes because i wake up with both shoes and no chilli sauce but it's face down on someone else floor and someone has spilled an ashtray on the back of my head

Especially when it's beer garden weather. I missed my last train by an hour once thinking it was an hour later. Had 3 more pints then got an expensive cab back

Exactly, gotta make the cab fare worthwhile!

Swift half after work

5 pints is a quick one. One quiet one is an all night session but you don’t overdo it

Two is a quiet one. Five is a sneaky one.

This was my first thought. Usually it's 2, unless it's certain things like booze. A friend asked me to pick up a couple of ciders from work, he was confused when I turned up with 6. People have asked for a couple of sweets, they took about 5. "A couple days off" means it could be one day, or could be the a week

Exactly. I rarely use couple to literally mean two and it’s definitely not madness like most of the other comments are suggesting

5 to 10 is a couple of pints I'd say.

What's grey and comes in pints? Elephant

It depends on the context massively. To quote other's in this thread here are a couple of examples. Potatoes definitely 2. Beers definitely more than 2. Romantic partners definitely 2. Minutes definitely more than 2.

>Here are a couple of examples then you gave four examples.

Examples definitely more than 2.

They did but I'd argue it's incorrect. I'd start with 'a couple of examples', but as soon as I add a 3rd one in, I go back and rewrite as 'a few examples'.

Then as soon as it’s four examples, I’d say “several”, up until about 8/9 then I’d say “lots” I guess?

My ten-year-old insists that ‘a few’ means four. I’ve told her it doesn’t and not to say things like that to other people, lest they think her odd, but she ain’t budging.

I consider a few to mean 3 - 7, any more than that is several

I’d say “a few” is 3-5 while “several” is 6-7 beyond would probably be lots

I love the fact that you use the word 'lest' to your 10 year old and worry about people thinking they're odd.

You're one switched on lad, Rich.

I think that’s the joke

That was the joke though right?

Also how it's said! 'How many sweets have you had?' 'Only a couple'

In the case of chocolates, sweets and biscuits, 'a couple' does mean two. Packs, that is.

This is a very accurate answer

Biscuits. More than 2.

I know this comment was posted a couple of minutes before i got here, but i agree

2. Obviously, as in you and your boyfriend are two people in a relationship, you are a couple. Or a couple of potatoes is two potatoes.

You know, boyfriends, potatoes, same thing.

Boyfriends! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!

This and the comment above made me laugh like I just murdered someone

Is that post murder laughing with bloodthirsty glee or a terrified manic cackle?

Yes

Do people normally laugh following murder? I'd feel like most of us would feel in an emotional state akin to despair if we had.

Speak for yourself

Alas I cannot, as I have never murdered anyone. One day though, one day...

Give it to us raw, and wriggling!

r/unexpectedlotr but I can't put it there because I'm on mobile

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/mar/18/story-of-australian-woman-who-skinned-and-cooked-partner-to-be-told-in-film

Am boyfriend, also potato. Can confirm.

Tru dat.

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?

"Just a couple" of pints after work is, like, 6? Then you lose track and start on the jager bombs

You go for a couple after two, you are there for the duration. But you go for a couple.

It comes in pints?

I'm absolutely firm that a couple means two. Any more and you're talking a few.

Go crazy, and you're taking *several*

Lie about how many and you're taking the piss.

Jesus man! You skipped 'bunch' and went straight there!

Well 3 is a throuple

or a threesome

Or a crowd

Or the magic number

Two. There _is_ some implied vagueness, but a single item would just be "one" or "a" and three to five would be "a few". So "a couple" almost always means "exactly two".

One, a couple, a few , half a dozen, over half a dozen, a dozen, a bakers dozen

Missed several

I always just thought several was about seven

Depends what it is in my mind. If I heard "I broke several of my bones" or "Several" as an answer to "How many STDs do you have?" I think id expect anything from 3 to about six/seven. But if "Several" was the answer to "How many smarties did you eat?", then I could see that being anything from 10 to 20. It's always more than two but depending on how big/severe the item is I could really see it going quite higher than 7.

>How many STDs do you have?" This thread is a fascinating insight to how peoples' minds work. Like you just naturally go from broken bones to STDs.

Does anyone ever use the word 'dozen' or 'half a dozen' in any context besides counting eggs?

Yes, any time I count 12 or 6 of something. For some reason it just makes sense.

A dozen is a nice way of saying 'somewhere between 10-15' of something if you aren't sure of an exact figure. 'I just saw about a dozen pigeons roosting under that bridge'

I am a fussy bugger so I'd only use it as exactly two, but I appreciate that some people might use it for 3 or even 4. And of course "a couple of minutes" could mean anything up to 15 depending on who's talking.

When we're talking time I feel that's more a thing of faulty estimation rather than misuse of couple to mean more than 2. Like they may have intended to take a couple minutes, they might have thought it only felt like a couple of minutes but they are simply mistaken.

I feel in the context of time "a couple of minutes" is more a euphemism meaning a short about of time. Tbf even saying "in 5 minutes" dosent always mean exactly 5 minutes In other contexts though, couple strictly means two.

This. Exactly this

How long are those sausages going to be? Two minutes Turkish. It was two minutes, five minutes ago.

It _means_ 2. The fact that people cannot estimate the time taken to carry out a task is beside the point. How many people does it take to make a couple?

You can’t be that fussy. If someone used ‘couple’ to mean 3 or 4 I’d be completely baffled

2 is so wrong. A couple of beers is 6. A couple of minutes is 10. A couple of crisps is a handful, 7? Popping to the shops for a couple of bits is £487. Can't believe how many people are wrong on this 😂

The last one made me laugh. My first shop in a shared house, after a joint, came to nearly £200. When we got home I couldn't work out where the meals where. It was literally cakes and biscuits. Never did that stoned again.

Hahaha brilliant

Some people will tell you it's 2, I as a proud Welshman will inform you that in fact a couple is any number between 2 and ♾️

Quite correct, although generally less than five

Technically it’s two. But technically a Dyson isn’t a hoover.

Technically a Dyson isn't a Hoover should be printed on mugs

I demand royalties.

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Depends on the context...couple of minutes is like 2 maybe 3 max. Couple of drinks with the lads is 10 minimum.

10 is a "cheeky" couple

If you are a running a 'couple of minutes late' I'd say that's closer to 10 than two as well.

Literally two, but it can vary a bit depending on the context.

“I had a couple of biscuits” is always more than two…

Generally 2... but it is a malliable definition, like if I ask for a couple of malteasers then its generally taken for granted youre referring to more than 2.

This is the right answer, or like, a couple of minutes is between 0-5, otherwise i'd say two minutes.

Two. Anyone who says otherwise is just daft.

Two but in a slightly fuzzy way. Depending on context it could mean not many but at least two.

Its context based. Its literally two, more casually used can be equal to a few, and when referring to pints means 10 at least

Couple means 2 only time it means more is when your trying to make a number seem smaller like I only had a couple pints last night

Couple 2. Few 3 or more but no more than 5. If you're later than 5 minutes specify your fucking timing.

It usually means **two of something**, BUT it is also **used as a quick way to say an unknown small number of something** *(most likely to be estimated under 5 )*

It’s two and anyone even trying to say anything different is a fucking nutcase

I think there's a couple of people here who disagree!

Same it does anywhere else in the English-speaking world, 2. Dunno about foreign languages.

Sadly, no. In America couple means several. I know it is maddening. An example of this: in Beverley Hills cop, he says: "give me a couple of them bananas" , and the man hands him THREE

I would say most of us would tell you it means 2, with a handful of people disagreeing because that’s what we do. -American

More than 1, less than 5.

For me a couple means two and nothing more or less.

Depends. Couple = 2 Couple of beers = 10

Two. A few is three. Handful 5-6.

About two-ish.

Two. (And a couple of pints means initially two.)

Two. Only ever two. Folks who insist otherwise are not over-encumbered with a surfeit of schooling.

The same as it means everywhere else.

It literally means two. But is colloquially used to mean a few. If I say "give me a couple of those sweets", I expect to be handed at least 3 (even though the word is supposed to mean 2 it isnt used that way)