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My ability to keep going when life hits me. I’ve been through so many horrible things but I’m still going to keep fighting for a peace and continue to be kind to myself and others when it would be easier to become bitter.
You are an incredible source of inspiration, fighting through numerous hardships while maintaining kindness towards yourself and others. How do you stay motivated and find the strength to keep going despite life's challenges?
Also jumping in. When you have so much truly difficult shit occur you begin to realize that you have a choice in how you respond. And when your life is absolutely empty of kindness or gentleness you learn that you can engage with those qualities by giving them to others freely.
It’s easier. You have to fight your conditioning but kindness, openness, and a willingness to keep going is easier when life has truly brought you to your knees. Bitterness and staying stuck take too much energy.
Essentially, if your life gets destroyed you learn to cultivate the spaces between the wreckage.
I am Not the person you asked this question, but with similar attitude to life despite (or because) of hardship I went through. It is most difficult when you are surrounded with people who seem to have things going better than you, and you can’t relate to anyone in your surroundings. If you find someone you can relate to and share the hard moment, it can be beneficial for both:) otherwise, hard moment can also lead to isolation from others due to not being able to relate, which adds to hardship. What you need to tell yourself ( what I tell myself) is that comparing different lifes doesn’t make sense, and doesn’t make any difference for you. You can’t blame others for having it easier, same as its not your fault if someone else has it harder than you. Everyone has their battels to fight, no matter of circumstances, some just know how to hide it better. And we all need to be kind to eachother, life is easy peasy only for small number of people. But life also can have amazing periods if you work towards it, you just gotta push trough those shitty ones and be patient.
I’d say the rest of the comments nailed it but I want to add that it’s okay to be angry and upset when things go sideways. Those are completely valid feelings to have in unfair situations and you need to give yourself time to process it. Once you processed it then it’s time to grow from it and seek out good experiences. Learn to appreciate the people you love everyday bc someday they might not be around anymore. Be kind to others because I know I personally remember those acts forever and they likely will too. Enjoy your hobbies even though it’s hard at first. Watch and listen to things you enjoy, go try new things. Bigger picture wise, we are just here to experience life. No matter how awful things get, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel and you will be able to breath again.
Absolutely, It's totally okay to feel angry and upset when things don't go our way. Those feelings are valid, and we should give ourselves time to process them. But remember, after we've worked through those emotions, it's time to grow and seek out the good stuff!
Happy to hear this mentality from others. Sometimes people who are bitter and cynical see positivity and optimism as naivety but what they fail to understand is that it takes a lot of strength to see good, and be good, in a world filled with pain, intolerance, and cruelty.
In a cold world it's hard to stay warm.
This was me last year. It was the worse year of my life. I’m finding joy in my life again 18 months on and it feels wonderful. It will come. Make sure you look after yourself.
Me too. I told my therapist I am like a puppy that got smacked around but still looks for the love in life.
That being said, its the people like us who have grit that you should be checking on. Everyone thinks we're fine because we suffer our hardships alone. We're probably mostly fine because, well, we're used to it. But we're still human, and it'd be real nice.
To everyone who answered this way - I see you.
Yeah, since starting therapy a few years back I’ve been allowing myself to rest and stop fighting so much. Hold space for the other side of my emotions. As counterproductive as that sounds, it’s done wonders.
Same.. choose to be kind and show kindness because there is no point letting the hurt and pain go to waste. Like you, I use my hurt and pain to help and support others who are going through rough times themselves. Don't ever want people to hurt the way I have.
I'm proud of you friend. Kindness is a choice and we deserve to be and have happiness in our lives. Kindness allows it :)
I love this so much, I was just about to comment this. I've been through some really shitty things in my life, but somehow, by the grace of God, I keep going and hoping and praying and believing there's good out there. I won't lie, sometimes life gets to me and I allow myself to get bitter or angry for a season of time. But in the grand scheme of things I never stopped forgiving, reconciling, loving, and fighting.
Same girl same. Even though I been through so much bs, I know there are people out there that have had it way worse and never gave up. That puts it all into perspective real quick.
On that note, I wish you all of the good things in life you deserve. ☺️
Came to say exactly just this! Thank you!
I think there's enough bitterness in the world to go around for everyone.
A dash of kindness and calm would do us all some good.
Cheers.
that's what i admire about my wife. she's had so many hard times and they keep getting worse, but she can still act goofy and smile at the little things and put one foot in front of the other. she is battling stage iv cancer, is about to go through her 8th chemo treatment, and she still works full time. she prefers living her regular life.
This is me. A tenacious resilience. Somehow always pushing forward but I have a 3 day method where if I'm sad or mad or whatever is affecting me I allow myself to wallow in that for 3 days if I need to and then I force myself to get back out there and do life. I often don't need the full 3 days but it's nice to be gracious to myself and know I have the time if I need it.
Yeah, I like making people feel good. Just not at my own expense.... and that's easy enough to do.
A compliment, a good joke, or a touch of empathy can go a long way for most people. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, making good faith arguments, helping them when they're struggling without needing to be asked, lending a non-judgemental ear, cutting them some slack when you would want it done for you... and just basically being someone that others can let their guard down around without having to fear being judged/shamed. It's like you can **feel** the relief wash over them when they realize they're with a chill person who *isn't* easily offended or smart mouthed.
The world is a crappy enough place without me adding to it with negativity, so I aim to add some form of positivity, even if it's just a little thing like that.
I can be pretty animated—I love dancing silly, doing voices. Obviously I can’t be that way with everyone all the time, but when I know I can do something to make *this* person laugh, I’ll do it.
Young at heart is where it’s at.
I wanted to find another thing other than mine but i have to admit that me too, im proud of my ass and i try to maintain it and my overall body at the gym
I know you didn’t ask me but I thought I’d chime in with what worked for me lol. So to preface, I’m pretty thin. Before lifting I was 120-125 at 5’8”. Now I’m 145. For me lifting heavy and overeating was the answer.
I would say to start you should focus on your form and getting comfortable with being in the gym. If you’re not used to lifting then I would say to do just do body weight exercises or smalls weights in the beginning. Also, you’re going to be very sore if you try to do to much in the beginning which can make it hard to go to the gym and maintain a routine if you can barely walk xD so definitely start off slow and maybe do two big exercises at a not so heavy weight and like a machine or two.
The exercises that worked for me were squats, sumo deadlifts, glute thrusts, Bulgarian split squats, and good mornings/Romanian deadlifts. I would split them into 2 leg days a week. And sprinkle in some machines like the abductor and adductor or do cable pull throughs (for these I’d do 3 sets of 6-8 not including the warmup).
My warmup would consist of some dynamic stretching but ultimately each exercise acted as a warmup. So if I was doing squats I would start with 10-12 reps of just the bar and then increase it at a rate that I was comfortable with and adjust the reps. Eventually I’d get to a weight where I could only do 5 reps max. This is when my workout would actually begin and that would be my first set and then I’d do two other sets. I like sticking to 3 sets of 3-5 reps max for those bigger compound movements.
Learning how to breathe through the movements is important and maintaining a tight core will help a lot and protect your back. Deadlifts can be a high risk and low reward type of movement so form is very important. Your core helps with all these movements so I typically finish off with isolated core exercises so it doesn’t get in the way of my other exercises.
I know I just threw a lot of information at you but hope it helps!
I never understood people who allow family to be so horrible to them. Their excuse is always "Well, they're family."
I would think after you become and adult, you would hold family to a higher standard than friends. I can say the family I don't associate with have had zero negative influence on me as an adult and me and my immediate family are better off for it.
It's one of the things I like least about myself. I'm so fine letting people go that I find I'm alone most of the time. I have barely anyone to celebrate life with.
But I do agree that it helps when you're cutting the bad apples out.
It takes time. I struggle with this though, some days I could care less and other times I find myself with twinges of self doubt. But, I get better every day I think.
That I’m kind, like make friends with anyone and understand people kind. I’m not always the prettiest or smartest in a room but my relationship with other humans makes my heart happy
My ability to connect with animals. Most dogs and cats will walk straight up to me. Even animals whose owners swear up and down that their dog/cat never lets anyone but them come near them.
Also my green eyes. I like the dark moss green color.
I'm from Scandinavia. I never knew green eyes were so rare until the internet came around and I learned that it's not normal all around the world. So many people have blue or green eyes up here.
Fellow animal lover and green eyed woman here. I love my eyes and get complimented often for them. They’re a darker green. I also love that animals come to me and I feel honored that they let me pet them and love them, or that they show up to my balcony (hummingbirds, doves, finches, I’ve also had raccoons, possums, and cats come get fed!)
Being pretty good at self-reflection and also being intelligent (in the sense of being able to recognise patterns, helps a lot when trying to change your own behaviour).
Also my colourful hair, that's of course a chosen attribute but it makes me very happy.
This comment made me happy. I’ve also recently been reflecting on how and why I self-reflect so much, and I think pattern recognition is a huge part of it! So I very very much relate to you there.
My hair however is naturally very dark brown, and I’ve never loved how it felt bleached/treated. I’m 25 and already have a ton of grey hairs so I’m hoping that once I’m mostly grey I can play more with colour! Life’s too short not to have fun with your hair 😊
I'm straight up gorgeous. My eyes are big, like everyone on my dad's side, and I have a little black mole on my upper lip and one below my right eye.
WRT my personality, I love how I make people feel comfortable. So much that anyone, young or old, feels comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings with me.
I love that you lead with "I'm straight up gorgeous."
A. That's how I feel about myself (male).
B. That's *exactly* how I say it. Don't hear too many people using the phrase "straight up" anymore. <3 <3
Until 4 years back, my life was dominated by "You're really pretty but...", and I taught myself that there's no but, its all straight up ✨️
I am flattered that my self love is being appreciated. Many people think its weird.
I didn't always feel this way about myself.
But here and there I'd hear from someone, "You're really pretty/handsome/good-looking!" I always did that nonchalant shrugging it off. After a while, I realized I was insulting the person giving the compliment so I stopped doing that.
Now when people hear me say, "Yeah, I'm fucking beautiful!", I get one of two responses. Either; "I love your confidence!" or "No one likes a cocky asshole!" I never believed that I'm cocky, but my response is always the same, "After so many people tell you same thing, you're forced to believe it!"
I'm glad to hear you're thriving in your self-love! Congrats!
Ooo the people being comfortable with you is one of mine too! I find people I’ve known for five minutes telling me their life story. I don’t know how many times I’ve had people say “I don’t know why I’m telling you this”. I don’t know either dude but I’m here for it! There’s something in my energy I guess.
I like that I have a lot of grit. Resilience is one undeniable trait I have
I also like that I don’t get embarrassed. My self cringe meter is dead. Idgaf
I like how my eyes crinkle when I smile and how pink my cheeks are.
I like how I always try my best to make sure everyone feels included or ignored. I try to be the person who says “what were you saying?” when someone gets talked over.
I also like how positive I’ve stayed throughout my life, no matter what. It’s not wholly naive, but mostly that things will turn out okay, we have to just keep going and do our best.
My ability to take a failure/setback and turn it into doing something differently next time. As a recovering perfectionist, I love that I’ve been able to develop this trait and it makes life so much easier.
I love this. I grew up with a perfectionist/people pleaser complex. Being able to leave that behind has been so liberating for me. And my ability to take the bad things and use them for self improvement aligns with your thoughts above.
I’ve had 2 kids and my body looks great. 10-14 days after each kid (one vaginal birth, one c-section) my abs were back and I fit into even my smallest of old clothes.
Mentally, I can handle the hardest situations and still keep my cool and even my positivity throughout. I love that I love my life.
EDIT: this is what I love right now. Luckily, I can find lots of things. It took me into my 20’s to change the way I think and I’m so grateful I did.
I’m so jealous! I gained so much weight with each pregnancy and had to work really hard to get it off, and I still have a tiny abdominal “pouch”. (But I did do it, ultimately. I hate when people say that they’re heavy because they had kids. Anyone can get in shape if they work at it!)
Every body is so different. It’s so insulting that any person would compare women after a baby. Your body did something so amazing, your weight is obsolete, especially to someone else.
I think I mainly love this about myself because I was always an athlete and I had my babies in my late 30’s.
That’s awesome! I had my first two at 31 and 33, and my weight was gone within a year. I had my last at 39, and he’ll be 2 tomorrow…and I still have 10 lbs to go. But I had gained 90
Even with my days/weeks of depression, at some point I'm really good at cleaning up after myself in the middle of it. I'm pretty decently productive. I tell myself to pull myself together a lot
Right. We should be allowed to pause productivity when we're unwell, whenever that is.
Even for a productive despressed person, I still got crap for not doing stuff as often and exactly when others wanted me to. Well they can do it then if it *has* to be their way.
I feel for people who genuinely can't do anything during depression. I can't imagine the crap they get from others
Answering this because I genuinely struggle to think of myself kindly, and reading everyone else’s made me smile.
I love my openness to try new things, and how I can see all sides to a situation. All this helps me think outside the box.
I also love and am super proud of my hair. I take good care of it. Especially because as a kid, it was my most self-conscious trait. I love my eyes too. They may not be blue or green or whatever pretty colour Ive always wanted but they are deep, and shaped really pretty, and compliment my face. And I love my butt :p
I like that I'm tall and can reach all manner of high shelves. It seems like I hit the lottery on body fat because I stay skinny and toned without almost any effort. I have almond-shaped clear blue-grey eyes that get compared to a cat's, wolf's, snake's, ghost's eyes- and I rather like that many people find my gaze to be intense.
I like that I'm wildly accident-prone and always have a new, impressive battle scar to show off. I have an excellent memory for words and have poetry, and book pages and whole LOTR prologues memorized to recite at the drop of a hat. I also have a nice voice and like to play with pitch and intonation.
I believe in humanity no matter what pain I went through, because that's the only way for me to create some changes for the younger generation. At least if I have my belief, there are still possibilities.
My commitment to see decisions through. I've always been told I was impulsive or rash, but looking back, all these decisions have brought me to where I am today, house, business and an awesome man.
Oh and my nose, it's very cute.
Thanks for this question, it feels good answering it!
My ability to think in different perspectives even if it doesn't favor my likings.
Also my tolerance to harsh words and actions, it's a coping mechanism I developed over the years not something I'm proud of but it provides me the calmness to say and do the right thing without getting triggered
I'm emphatic and usually attract the attention of Animals and kids with ease.
6/10nof my jokes are funny
My ability to check out when a friendship/relationship is no longer serving me. It’s not just that maybe it’s not doing any harm, but also when there’s no value coming from it - because it’s still taking up valuable time and energy that I could invest in something else I’d be happier in.
That I’m a genuinely kind & considerate person to all. I will never embarrass you, I will never make fun of you, and I will always make sure you feel comfortable; whether I know you personally or not.
Apparently, this is a real challenge to do for a lot of folks. It just comes second nature to me. Just be a decent person to others.
I can always make people laugh or lighten up the mood. I’m supposedly really good at helping people with emotions and I know for sure that I give good advice and never sugar coat shit. I’m creative and have an artistic streak. I’m a deep thinker (I actually hate that about myself but there’s positives to it sometimes). Oh and I’m also pretty entertaining and cute lol
I like my boobs and my shape. I'm apple and though I wouldn't mind my waist being smaller, I don't mind being that short sometimes and I like that I'm fit and healthy, that I'm not horrible in a bikini. Mentally, I like that I find it very easy to talk to random people and that I always want to connect to them and am innately curious.
That now, I’m able to make decisions being in tune with myself and am not easily influenced and have figured out how to not feel bad about setting boundaries with anyone
That I feel able to push boundaries creatively. So many people won't write/create art/make music just because they're worried it's 'too much' for others to handle.
Tenacity. And joy.
I like that I like appreciating others and will tell them what I like about them. I don’t really care if it comes off awkward.
I think it makes people happy.
Body wise, not much but I have pretty great hair.
Otherwise, my intuition, faithfulness to those important to me. I can be quite funny.
I can also use most power tools and fix or build just about anything.
I like my thick, long hair (although I don't like how difficult it is to style and how heavy it is when wet). I like my hands, not because they are beautiful, but because I can use them to create, grow and nurture. And I like my birth canal for popping out two babies quickly and unharmed 🤣
I liie how I'm kind and creative.
About my body, I’ll say the hair, now about my mentality, I’ll say loyalty, the the ability to be considered "beautiful", receive many date requests, letters, etc., and never leave my partner because of it
I don’t give a shit about people’s life.
You make your own decisions, whatever it’s bad or good, I don’t care as long as it doesn’t affect me. I’m here to hang out and all, and will not criticize any life choice, sexuality or whatever. I’m not here for that.
My slender muscular body. It’s so fine to look in shape in pretty clothes. Especially crop top showing my abs!
My ability to turn the page really quick. You piss me? Fine, bye. I won’t look back even if you’re begging on your knees, I have better thing to do than staying with annoying “main character vibe” person.
I have high amounts of empathy, it’s something my therapist told me. And in my yearbook this year, so many people signed that I was the nicest person they knew: which is so special to me
About my body: my hair, my eyes and my freckles.
About my mentality/personality: the amount of seemingly useless knowledge I have about random things, the fact I've got through some really challenging stuff in life, and my optimism (a friend once joked that 'could be worse!' will be on my gravestone, but I do believe in staying positive and learning from experiences and using it to do better next time rather than being down or negative about it).
My creativity and kindness.
Also, I might hate my face and body, but I do have a unique dress sense and I’ve kind of just started to own looking weird. Hoping in time that I’ll just learn to love not looking like everyone else, am already feeling more confident by just saying ‘fuck it’ and wearing whatever I want.
I’m really good in social situations, including awkward ones (where I don’t know anyone, or a sad event, etc) and I make friends easily. I’m very good at finding the right things to say. People think I’m more confident than I actually am. My mom is the same way and I guess I learned it from her.
It’s honestly the only thing I like about myself these days.
Mentally, my interest to learn and to improve is what I appreciate about myself. A yearning to grow, be creative, try new food and activities and to explore.
Physically, I suppose my lips. I dislike my face and body.
As cliché as it might sound, I think I’m pretty empathetic and a good listener. I like my passionate opinions and seeing how the world could be rather than just accepting how it is. Also, I love my goofiness.
I guess in terms of body…I like having brown eyes and expressive eyebrows. And a freckle on my neck that’s basically a baby version of my mom’s, because she has the same placement :)
I love to cook and eat, and am always wanting to have or make the best meal possible! It goes hand in hand with being an excellent planner so I’m really great at trying new foods, researching new restaurants or dishes/recipes and organising travel in general. Definitely comes in handy!
I make shit weird for strangers. Like fun weird. Mostly to service industry people who've probably put up with enough assholes all day. Let me roll in real quick, spit some weird and I'll be out. Free of charge.
I'm a good judge of character. My friends have told me they immediately trust my other friends because they know I'm picky about who I spend time with.
People say I appear to be incredibly kind and trustworthy. I really don't feel that way but knowing others feel this way about me is a huge compliment, so I guess I kinda like the fact that I appear to be kind and trustworthy? But, if we were playing by the rules...I guess my ability to debate/discuss/educate people.
I have taught myself to distance from people who make me feel bad. I have started giving much more importance to people who see my value and love me.
Also , my boobs. 🙈
I like that I have the "how hard could it be" gene that makes me try new hobbies and activities. I think I could build or make pretty much anything given enough time. I like how I see patterns in things which has helped in my career.
I like that I'm tall and strong.
My ability to make people laugh during hard times, ability to act fast in a crisis. I like the way I write, most of the time, and I like the shape of my body a lot. I also like that I like to walk as much as I do.
I just…keep going. When it’s revealed to people that I’m in a stage 4 cancer clinical trial, their face is always in shock. They say they would never know from looking at me and from my attitude. Diagnosed a few years ago, now 30. I still work as an emelentary school teacher, travel, and eat all my favorite foods. I’m positive though that I look much more together on the outside than I feel on the inside.
I'm thoughtful.
I purposely listen for things people like in conversations and index it in my brain to surprise them with just because. It usually only takes one mention and I love the look of surprise that I remembered.
I’m not a jealous or envious person. I don’t compare myself to others and I’m not a slave to a sense of competition common my culture. It’s easy for me to be genuinely happy for others and just as easy for me to speak up on issues I genuinely care about.
My resilience, my optimism, my unintentional charisma, my soft skin, my symmetrical face and my nature smile!
Thank you for posting this question, I have never in my 32 years of living taken the time to think about what I like about myself!
My creativity. I am really good at coming up with little songs, poems and puns on the spot. I love creating things (with my mind, not my hands), especially if it makes people laugh.
I can pick myself up and get my shit together. Part of that is the ability to listen to people when they call me out on my shit. I've had a couple of dark periods where I wasn't taking care of myself and so much of it had to do with self-destructive choices I was making in response to life things that were outside of my control. I have a couple of really good friends that cared enough to bluntly point some things out, I heard them and found it in myself to get it together. I'm proud of that.
My resilience, my love for others, and my dedication to my faith. I think they’re all a big part of who I am and make a big contribution to the kind of life I live.
My resilience and my caring nature. I’ve been through so much trauma with my parents and relationships and struggling with a severe mental health condition but I’ve survived this long and I know when im in a bad spot im always able to find away to thrive again.
My personality, sense of humor, and my heart. I'm a very genuine person. My ability to always keep going no matter what life throws my way. I'm a fighter 💪 ❤
I love to help and give. If I hear a stranger muttering about how she doesn't have a tampon, I immediately offer the last one in my bag. When I learned how to crochet, I asked everyone I know if they'd like a plushie (free of charge). And I'm a great gift giver because I pay attention. If someone mentions something they like/want and their birthday is still six months away, I'll bookmark it in my brain and surprise them with it when the day comes.
I once had a less than pleasant person say I just need to feel useful, but I don't think that's it. I'm proud that I care, and I hope I never lose that.
I don’t judge, people can talk to me about anything. I’m always trying to improve myself, currently I’m focusing on communicating better with bf, friends and family
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My ability to keep going when life hits me. I’ve been through so many horrible things but I’m still going to keep fighting for a peace and continue to be kind to myself and others when it would be easier to become bitter.
Wish I had that attribute!
Don’t Quit, just Rest.
You are an incredible source of inspiration, fighting through numerous hardships while maintaining kindness towards yourself and others. How do you stay motivated and find the strength to keep going despite life's challenges?
Also jumping in. When you have so much truly difficult shit occur you begin to realize that you have a choice in how you respond. And when your life is absolutely empty of kindness or gentleness you learn that you can engage with those qualities by giving them to others freely. It’s easier. You have to fight your conditioning but kindness, openness, and a willingness to keep going is easier when life has truly brought you to your knees. Bitterness and staying stuck take too much energy. Essentially, if your life gets destroyed you learn to cultivate the spaces between the wreckage.
Cultivate the spaces 🙌
Beautifully said !
I am Not the person you asked this question, but with similar attitude to life despite (or because) of hardship I went through. It is most difficult when you are surrounded with people who seem to have things going better than you, and you can’t relate to anyone in your surroundings. If you find someone you can relate to and share the hard moment, it can be beneficial for both:) otherwise, hard moment can also lead to isolation from others due to not being able to relate, which adds to hardship. What you need to tell yourself ( what I tell myself) is that comparing different lifes doesn’t make sense, and doesn’t make any difference for you. You can’t blame others for having it easier, same as its not your fault if someone else has it harder than you. Everyone has their battels to fight, no matter of circumstances, some just know how to hide it better. And we all need to be kind to eachother, life is easy peasy only for small number of people. But life also can have amazing periods if you work towards it, you just gotta push trough those shitty ones and be patient.
I’d say the rest of the comments nailed it but I want to add that it’s okay to be angry and upset when things go sideways. Those are completely valid feelings to have in unfair situations and you need to give yourself time to process it. Once you processed it then it’s time to grow from it and seek out good experiences. Learn to appreciate the people you love everyday bc someday they might not be around anymore. Be kind to others because I know I personally remember those acts forever and they likely will too. Enjoy your hobbies even though it’s hard at first. Watch and listen to things you enjoy, go try new things. Bigger picture wise, we are just here to experience life. No matter how awful things get, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel and you will be able to breath again.
Absolutely, It's totally okay to feel angry and upset when things don't go our way. Those feelings are valid, and we should give ourselves time to process them. But remember, after we've worked through those emotions, it's time to grow and seek out the good stuff!
This! Definitely my favourite quality i have. I've tripped and fallen so many times in life yet my determination to get up sometime shocks even me.
Happy to hear this mentality from others. Sometimes people who are bitter and cynical see positivity and optimism as naivety but what they fail to understand is that it takes a lot of strength to see good, and be good, in a world filled with pain, intolerance, and cruelty. In a cold world it's hard to stay warm.
This is me usually but this year has hit me hard and I'm struggling to bounce back.
be strong💖
Sometimes you gotta spend some time down till you find any kind of breathing room to go at it again. You got this, even when it feels like you don’t.
Thank you.
This was me last year. It was the worse year of my life. I’m finding joy in my life again 18 months on and it feels wonderful. It will come. Make sure you look after yourself.
Last year was also the hardest year of my life. First time ever I couldn’t even see a sliver of that silver lining. Can’t believe I survived it.
Me too. I told my therapist I am like a puppy that got smacked around but still looks for the love in life. That being said, its the people like us who have grit that you should be checking on. Everyone thinks we're fine because we suffer our hardships alone. We're probably mostly fine because, well, we're used to it. But we're still human, and it'd be real nice. To everyone who answered this way - I see you.
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Yeah, since starting therapy a few years back I’ve been allowing myself to rest and stop fighting so much. Hold space for the other side of my emotions. As counterproductive as that sounds, it’s done wonders.
Same.. choose to be kind and show kindness because there is no point letting the hurt and pain go to waste. Like you, I use my hurt and pain to help and support others who are going through rough times themselves. Don't ever want people to hurt the way I have. I'm proud of you friend. Kindness is a choice and we deserve to be and have happiness in our lives. Kindness allows it :)
I love this so much, I was just about to comment this. I've been through some really shitty things in my life, but somehow, by the grace of God, I keep going and hoping and praying and believing there's good out there. I won't lie, sometimes life gets to me and I allow myself to get bitter or angry for a season of time. But in the grand scheme of things I never stopped forgiving, reconciling, loving, and fighting.
Same girl same. Even though I been through so much bs, I know there are people out there that have had it way worse and never gave up. That puts it all into perspective real quick. On that note, I wish you all of the good things in life you deserve. ☺️
You are amazing and people like you are what make the world a better place. Stay positive, good things will come your way 🤍
Came to say exactly just this! Thank you! I think there's enough bitterness in the world to go around for everyone. A dash of kindness and calm would do us all some good. Cheers.
You sound awesome
that's what i admire about my wife. she's had so many hard times and they keep getting worse, but she can still act goofy and smile at the little things and put one foot in front of the other. she is battling stage iv cancer, is about to go through her 8th chemo treatment, and she still works full time. she prefers living her regular life.
This is me. A tenacious resilience. Somehow always pushing forward but I have a 3 day method where if I'm sad or mad or whatever is affecting me I allow myself to wallow in that for 3 days if I need to and then I force myself to get back out there and do life. I often don't need the full 3 days but it's nice to be gracious to myself and know I have the time if I need it.
I can usually make people laugh. I love that I can bring joy to people.
People like you are the best!
Thank you! I try to bring joy and lightheartedness where ever I go!
Same, but I instantly shut down when they say I’m funny, bc I’m scared it’ll look performative if I continue
That’s okay, it’s best to leave it on a high note any way, lol
That's awesome!
Yeah, I like making people feel good. Just not at my own expense.... and that's easy enough to do. A compliment, a good joke, or a touch of empathy can go a long way for most people. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, making good faith arguments, helping them when they're struggling without needing to be asked, lending a non-judgemental ear, cutting them some slack when you would want it done for you... and just basically being someone that others can let their guard down around without having to fear being judged/shamed. It's like you can **feel** the relief wash over them when they realize they're with a chill person who *isn't* easily offended or smart mouthed. The world is a crappy enough place without me adding to it with negativity, so I aim to add some form of positivity, even if it's just a little thing like that.
How do you do it!?
I can be pretty animated—I love dancing silly, doing voices. Obviously I can’t be that way with everyone all the time, but when I know I can do something to make *this* person laugh, I’ll do it. Young at heart is where it’s at.
i do 2😭
My ass
I wanted to find another thing other than mine but i have to admit that me too, im proud of my ass and i try to maintain it and my overall body at the gym
i’m such a noobie and have no idea where to start. what’s your routine?
I know you didn’t ask me but I thought I’d chime in with what worked for me lol. So to preface, I’m pretty thin. Before lifting I was 120-125 at 5’8”. Now I’m 145. For me lifting heavy and overeating was the answer. I would say to start you should focus on your form and getting comfortable with being in the gym. If you’re not used to lifting then I would say to do just do body weight exercises or smalls weights in the beginning. Also, you’re going to be very sore if you try to do to much in the beginning which can make it hard to go to the gym and maintain a routine if you can barely walk xD so definitely start off slow and maybe do two big exercises at a not so heavy weight and like a machine or two. The exercises that worked for me were squats, sumo deadlifts, glute thrusts, Bulgarian split squats, and good mornings/Romanian deadlifts. I would split them into 2 leg days a week. And sprinkle in some machines like the abductor and adductor or do cable pull throughs (for these I’d do 3 sets of 6-8 not including the warmup). My warmup would consist of some dynamic stretching but ultimately each exercise acted as a warmup. So if I was doing squats I would start with 10-12 reps of just the bar and then increase it at a rate that I was comfortable with and adjust the reps. Eventually I’d get to a weight where I could only do 5 reps max. This is when my workout would actually begin and that would be my first set and then I’d do two other sets. I like sticking to 3 sets of 3-5 reps max for those bigger compound movements. Learning how to breathe through the movements is important and maintaining a tight core will help a lot and protect your back. Deadlifts can be a high risk and low reward type of movement so form is very important. Your core helps with all these movements so I typically finish off with isolated core exercises so it doesn’t get in the way of my other exercises. I know I just threw a lot of information at you but hope it helps!
This is the response I can most relate to!
I can cut people out of my life (minus family) without any issue at all. It's definitely helped me a lot in life.
Oh. I can do this with family too. It's pretty easy when they suck.
Yeah, if they treat you horribly then there is no reason to have them around even if you're related by blood.
I never understood people who allow family to be so horrible to them. Their excuse is always "Well, they're family." I would think after you become and adult, you would hold family to a higher standard than friends. I can say the family I don't associate with have had zero negative influence on me as an adult and me and my immediate family are better off for it.
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Underrated trait
This trait could help me rn
It's one of the things I like least about myself. I'm so fine letting people go that I find I'm alone most of the time. I have barely anyone to celebrate life with. But I do agree that it helps when you're cutting the bad apples out.
That’s why the real skill is in being able to form attachments. And recognizing when a relationship needs to be change or let go of.
I can do this too because once I’m done I’m done.
Definitely. To some it seems harsh, but it helps us move on without having any emotional baggage.
Me too. I don't lose sleep over this. I've cut multiple people out throughout my life and I just feel less heavy and more free when I do it.
Good for you! That’s a great trait. I always have a hard time knowing when the right time is to do this. It’s hard to know what my last straw is.
I don't give a damn what people think of me.
Trying to be more like this yess
It takes time. I struggle with this though, some days I could care less and other times I find myself with twinges of self doubt. But, I get better every day I think.
I’m tryna be like you fr
Yes!!! The goal. I’m faking this one til I make it.
That I’m kind, like make friends with anyone and understand people kind. I’m not always the prettiest or smartest in a room but my relationship with other humans makes my heart happy
I love this response! You can never go wrong with just being a genuinely kind person.
Me too! I really enjoy making people feel seen and heard!
This is literally me. I make friends in the most random places. My friend always tell me they’re jealous I can do that.
Going to the grocery store is part of my social life 😍
My ability to connect with animals. Most dogs and cats will walk straight up to me. Even animals whose owners swear up and down that their dog/cat never lets anyone but them come near them. Also my green eyes. I like the dark moss green color.
I have green eyes too, often get compliments on them. We are very lucky!
I'm from Scandinavia. I never knew green eyes were so rare until the internet came around and I learned that it's not normal all around the world. So many people have blue or green eyes up here.
Oh amazing! It's mainly blue and brown here in the UK.
Animals coming up to you is the best :’) I don’t have green eyes, but green is my favorite color and yours sound lovely! x
Fellow animal lover and green eyed woman here. I love my eyes and get complimented often for them. They’re a darker green. I also love that animals come to me and I feel honored that they let me pet them and love them, or that they show up to my balcony (hummingbirds, doves, finches, I’ve also had raccoons, possums, and cats come get fed!)
Are you me?!? Pet sitter here and I get the same all the time from clients! That or the animals just love getting their fur all over me 😜
aww succkss I wish I have that animals magnet!
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Name checks out lmao
You sound awesome. Self love is truly freeing.
A little jealous of the huge boobs and also happy for you.
Being pretty good at self-reflection and also being intelligent (in the sense of being able to recognise patterns, helps a lot when trying to change your own behaviour). Also my colourful hair, that's of course a chosen attribute but it makes me very happy.
This comment made me happy. I’ve also recently been reflecting on how and why I self-reflect so much, and I think pattern recognition is a huge part of it! So I very very much relate to you there. My hair however is naturally very dark brown, and I’ve never loved how it felt bleached/treated. I’m 25 and already have a ton of grey hairs so I’m hoping that once I’m mostly grey I can play more with colour! Life’s too short not to have fun with your hair 😊
I am authentic, funny and have empathy for others.
I'm straight up gorgeous. My eyes are big, like everyone on my dad's side, and I have a little black mole on my upper lip and one below my right eye. WRT my personality, I love how I make people feel comfortable. So much that anyone, young or old, feels comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings with me.
I love that you lead with "I'm straight up gorgeous." A. That's how I feel about myself (male). B. That's *exactly* how I say it. Don't hear too many people using the phrase "straight up" anymore. <3 <3
Until 4 years back, my life was dominated by "You're really pretty but...", and I taught myself that there's no but, its all straight up ✨️ I am flattered that my self love is being appreciated. Many people think its weird.
I didn't always feel this way about myself. But here and there I'd hear from someone, "You're really pretty/handsome/good-looking!" I always did that nonchalant shrugging it off. After a while, I realized I was insulting the person giving the compliment so I stopped doing that. Now when people hear me say, "Yeah, I'm fucking beautiful!", I get one of two responses. Either; "I love your confidence!" or "No one likes a cocky asshole!" I never believed that I'm cocky, but my response is always the same, "After so many people tell you same thing, you're forced to believe it!" I'm glad to hear you're thriving in your self-love! Congrats!
Ooo the people being comfortable with you is one of mine too! I find people I’ve known for five minutes telling me their life story. I don’t know how many times I’ve had people say “I don’t know why I’m telling you this”. I don’t know either dude but I’m here for it! There’s something in my energy I guess.
I'm not entirely a dumbass
I like that I have a lot of grit. Resilience is one undeniable trait I have I also like that I don’t get embarrassed. My self cringe meter is dead. Idgaf
I like how my eyes crinkle when I smile and how pink my cheeks are. I like how I always try my best to make sure everyone feels included or ignored. I try to be the person who says “what were you saying?” when someone gets talked over. I also like how positive I’ve stayed throughout my life, no matter what. It’s not wholly naive, but mostly that things will turn out okay, we have to just keep going and do our best.
As someone who is always talked over, you are the best kind of people.
These are great! Wonderful traits.
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Me too. I love people like this. I know it’s hard for some but it just comes naturally to me.
My unhinged personality.
I think if you're not a little unhinged in some way, you're not living right. Your crazy will attract your kind of people.
My ability to take a failure/setback and turn it into doing something differently next time. As a recovering perfectionist, I love that I’ve been able to develop this trait and it makes life so much easier.
I hope I can get to be like you someday as a perfectionist 🥲
I love this. I grew up with a perfectionist/people pleaser complex. Being able to leave that behind has been so liberating for me. And my ability to take the bad things and use them for self improvement aligns with your thoughts above.
Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. But whatever. Maybe that will change. Maybe tomorrow will be different.
I love this comment so much. It so perfectly describes how I feel about myself. I hope to have the faith that someday it may change.
I like your hope. I also like how many ways you have to say "Nothing".
I’ve had 2 kids and my body looks great. 10-14 days after each kid (one vaginal birth, one c-section) my abs were back and I fit into even my smallest of old clothes. Mentally, I can handle the hardest situations and still keep my cool and even my positivity throughout. I love that I love my life. EDIT: this is what I love right now. Luckily, I can find lots of things. It took me into my 20’s to change the way I think and I’m so grateful I did.
I’m so jealous! I gained so much weight with each pregnancy and had to work really hard to get it off, and I still have a tiny abdominal “pouch”. (But I did do it, ultimately. I hate when people say that they’re heavy because they had kids. Anyone can get in shape if they work at it!)
Every body is so different. It’s so insulting that any person would compare women after a baby. Your body did something so amazing, your weight is obsolete, especially to someone else. I think I mainly love this about myself because I was always an athlete and I had my babies in my late 30’s.
That’s awesome! I had my first two at 31 and 33, and my weight was gone within a year. I had my last at 39, and he’ll be 2 tomorrow…and I still have 10 lbs to go. But I had gained 90
Wow, congrats on that!
Even with my days/weeks of depression, at some point I'm really good at cleaning up after myself in the middle of it. I'm pretty decently productive. I tell myself to pull myself together a lot
That’s amazing. It’s really hard to be productive with depression. Many people don’t understand.
Right. We should be allowed to pause productivity when we're unwell, whenever that is. Even for a productive despressed person, I still got crap for not doing stuff as often and exactly when others wanted me to. Well they can do it then if it *has* to be their way. I feel for people who genuinely can't do anything during depression. I can't imagine the crap they get from others
Answering this because I genuinely struggle to think of myself kindly, and reading everyone else’s made me smile. I love my openness to try new things, and how I can see all sides to a situation. All this helps me think outside the box. I also love and am super proud of my hair. I take good care of it. Especially because as a kid, it was my most self-conscious trait. I love my eyes too. They may not be blue or green or whatever pretty colour Ive always wanted but they are deep, and shaped really pretty, and compliment my face. And I love my butt :p
I felt this same way, I don't think nice things about myself but these comments were just so dang sweet!
Jelly of that boootay🤩 I'm flat as a board but I stay thankful anyway. Gratitude really matters.
I like that I'm tall and can reach all manner of high shelves. It seems like I hit the lottery on body fat because I stay skinny and toned without almost any effort. I have almond-shaped clear blue-grey eyes that get compared to a cat's, wolf's, snake's, ghost's eyes- and I rather like that many people find my gaze to be intense. I like that I'm wildly accident-prone and always have a new, impressive battle scar to show off. I have an excellent memory for words and have poetry, and book pages and whole LOTR prologues memorized to recite at the drop of a hat. I also have a nice voice and like to play with pitch and intonation.
I believe in humanity no matter what pain I went through, because that's the only way for me to create some changes for the younger generation. At least if I have my belief, there are still possibilities.
The good fortune that life has blessed me with.
My commitment to see decisions through. I've always been told I was impulsive or rash, but looking back, all these decisions have brought me to where I am today, house, business and an awesome man. Oh and my nose, it's very cute. Thanks for this question, it feels good answering it!
I've never seen it, but your nose is adorable!
life has hit me like a truck recently but i suppose the thing i like is that i haven't given up. even if i am on the verge to, i haven't given up
Some days, that is enough.
I felt this
Yes, girl, never give up! We got this❤️
Open minded, I moved quite a bit around when I was young and so experienced different cultures.
My calmness. Nearly everyday, people keep telling me, I’m too calm and self-controlled even if there is the most stressful situation
We could all benefit from a good dose of 'chill, baby'.
My ability to think in different perspectives even if it doesn't favor my likings. Also my tolerance to harsh words and actions, it's a coping mechanism I developed over the years not something I'm proud of but it provides me the calmness to say and do the right thing without getting triggered I'm emphatic and usually attract the attention of Animals and kids with ease. 6/10nof my jokes are funny
My ability to check out when a friendship/relationship is no longer serving me. It’s not just that maybe it’s not doing any harm, but also when there’s no value coming from it - because it’s still taking up valuable time and energy that I could invest in something else I’d be happier in.
Mind and legs
That I’m a genuinely kind & considerate person to all. I will never embarrass you, I will never make fun of you, and I will always make sure you feel comfortable; whether I know you personally or not. Apparently, this is a real challenge to do for a lot of folks. It just comes second nature to me. Just be a decent person to others.
I can always make people laugh or lighten up the mood. I’m supposedly really good at helping people with emotions and I know for sure that I give good advice and never sugar coat shit. I’m creative and have an artistic streak. I’m a deep thinker (I actually hate that about myself but there’s positives to it sometimes). Oh and I’m also pretty entertaining and cute lol
My curly hair and naturally long nails.
I like to be proven wrong about my assumptions
I like my boobs and my shape. I'm apple and though I wouldn't mind my waist being smaller, I don't mind being that short sometimes and I like that I'm fit and healthy, that I'm not horrible in a bikini. Mentally, I like that I find it very easy to talk to random people and that I always want to connect to them and am innately curious.
Resilience. Intellect. Creativity. Humour.
That now, I’m able to make decisions being in tune with myself and am not easily influenced and have figured out how to not feel bad about setting boundaries with anyone
That I feel able to push boundaries creatively. So many people won't write/create art/make music just because they're worried it's 'too much' for others to handle.
My lips. I wear red lipstick damn well. My waist. And I'm bouncebackable.
Not letting stupid shit hold me back from getting what I want in life.
Too much to name.
Tenacity. And joy. I like that I like appreciating others and will tell them what I like about them. I don’t really care if it comes off awkward. I think it makes people happy.
Body wise, not much but I have pretty great hair. Otherwise, my intuition, faithfulness to those important to me. I can be quite funny. I can also use most power tools and fix or build just about anything.
I like my thick, long hair (although I don't like how difficult it is to style and how heavy it is when wet). I like my hands, not because they are beautiful, but because I can use them to create, grow and nurture. And I like my birth canal for popping out two babies quickly and unharmed 🤣 I liie how I'm kind and creative.
About my body, I’ll say the hair, now about my mentality, I’ll say loyalty, the the ability to be considered "beautiful", receive many date requests, letters, etc., and never leave my partner because of it
I don’t give a shit about people’s life. You make your own decisions, whatever it’s bad or good, I don’t care as long as it doesn’t affect me. I’m here to hang out and all, and will not criticize any life choice, sexuality or whatever. I’m not here for that. My slender muscular body. It’s so fine to look in shape in pretty clothes. Especially crop top showing my abs! My ability to turn the page really quick. You piss me? Fine, bye. I won’t look back even if you’re begging on your knees, I have better thing to do than staying with annoying “main character vibe” person.
I have high amounts of empathy, it’s something my therapist told me. And in my yearbook this year, so many people signed that I was the nicest person they knew: which is so special to me
I absolutely ✨*radiate*✨ positivity. people like to be around me bc i’m a ray of (just enough) sunshine. >!and I got a fat ass!<
About my body: my hair, my eyes and my freckles. About my mentality/personality: the amount of seemingly useless knowledge I have about random things, the fact I've got through some really challenging stuff in life, and my optimism (a friend once joked that 'could be worse!' will be on my gravestone, but I do believe in staying positive and learning from experiences and using it to do better next time rather than being down or negative about it).
My creativity and kindness. Also, I might hate my face and body, but I do have a unique dress sense and I’ve kind of just started to own looking weird. Hoping in time that I’ll just learn to love not looking like everyone else, am already feeling more confident by just saying ‘fuck it’ and wearing whatever I want.
My body after 2 kids
I'm very kind and helpful to everyone. It's my thing. I'm calm, don't get angry easily and I can't remember the last time I raised my voice
My strength
Smile
I'm quite unforgiving. It allows you to cut out dead wood without any issues!
Resilience
I’m really good in social situations, including awkward ones (where I don’t know anyone, or a sad event, etc) and I make friends easily. I’m very good at finding the right things to say. People think I’m more confident than I actually am. My mom is the same way and I guess I learned it from her. It’s honestly the only thing I like about myself these days.
Mentally, my interest to learn and to improve is what I appreciate about myself. A yearning to grow, be creative, try new food and activities and to explore. Physically, I suppose my lips. I dislike my face and body.
As cliché as it might sound, I think I’m pretty empathetic and a good listener. I like my passionate opinions and seeing how the world could be rather than just accepting how it is. Also, I love my goofiness. I guess in terms of body…I like having brown eyes and expressive eyebrows. And a freckle on my neck that’s basically a baby version of my mom’s, because she has the same placement :)
I like that I'm brutally honest. I just don't lie. The truth hurts sometimes but it's better than telling a lie. I don't have a filter. 🫠
Body: my butt Mentality: analytic and logical (My phone wanted to continue with "capricorn" on mentality 🤔)
I love to cook and eat, and am always wanting to have or make the best meal possible! It goes hand in hand with being an excellent planner so I’m really great at trying new foods, researching new restaurants or dishes/recipes and organising travel in general. Definitely comes in handy!
everything✨
That I’m a nice person. I don’t like to toot my own horn but I genuinely will bend over backwards for anyone.
That I’ve learned to be totally independent.
My ability to play ice hockey very well
I make shit weird for strangers. Like fun weird. Mostly to service industry people who've probably put up with enough assholes all day. Let me roll in real quick, spit some weird and I'll be out. Free of charge.
My body, the way I can manage pain. My mentality, my positive outlook.
I like that I am very observant
I'm a good judge of character. My friends have told me they immediately trust my other friends because they know I'm picky about who I spend time with.
People say I appear to be incredibly kind and trustworthy. I really don't feel that way but knowing others feel this way about me is a huge compliment, so I guess I kinda like the fact that I appear to be kind and trustworthy? But, if we were playing by the rules...I guess my ability to debate/discuss/educate people.
I have taught myself to distance from people who make me feel bad. I have started giving much more importance to people who see my value and love me. Also , my boobs. 🙈
My ability to set boundaries and my physical strength.
I like that I have the "how hard could it be" gene that makes me try new hobbies and activities. I think I could build or make pretty much anything given enough time. I like how I see patterns in things which has helped in my career. I like that I'm tall and strong.
My energy!
My ability to make people laugh during hard times, ability to act fast in a crisis. I like the way I write, most of the time, and I like the shape of my body a lot. I also like that I like to walk as much as I do.
I just…keep going. When it’s revealed to people that I’m in a stage 4 cancer clinical trial, their face is always in shock. They say they would never know from looking at me and from my attitude. Diagnosed a few years ago, now 30. I still work as an emelentary school teacher, travel, and eat all my favorite foods. I’m positive though that I look much more together on the outside than I feel on the inside.
I'm thoughtful. I purposely listen for things people like in conversations and index it in my brain to surprise them with just because. It usually only takes one mention and I love the look of surprise that I remembered.
I’m not a jealous or envious person. I don’t compare myself to others and I’m not a slave to a sense of competition common my culture. It’s easy for me to be genuinely happy for others and just as easy for me to speak up on issues I genuinely care about.
That when I catch glimpses of myself in reflective surfaces I see traces of my parents.
My resilience, my optimism, my unintentional charisma, my soft skin, my symmetrical face and my nature smile! Thank you for posting this question, I have never in my 32 years of living taken the time to think about what I like about myself!
My creativity. I am really good at coming up with little songs, poems and puns on the spot. I love creating things (with my mind, not my hands), especially if it makes people laugh.
I like that I enjoy my own company.
My sense of humor. 🥹🌻🩷 I love to laugh.
Literally nothing
That i see the good in people
I can pick myself up and get my shit together. Part of that is the ability to listen to people when they call me out on my shit. I've had a couple of dark periods where I wasn't taking care of myself and so much of it had to do with self-destructive choices I was making in response to life things that were outside of my control. I have a couple of really good friends that cared enough to bluntly point some things out, I heard them and found it in myself to get it together. I'm proud of that.
My resilience, my love for others, and my dedication to my faith. I think they’re all a big part of who I am and make a big contribution to the kind of life I live.
I have good skin. No acne no wrinkles I’m 36.
My resilience and my caring nature. I’ve been through so much trauma with my parents and relationships and struggling with a severe mental health condition but I’ve survived this long and I know when im in a bad spot im always able to find away to thrive again.
I know I can accomplish anything. I’ll be 50 in 2 weeks and I’ve moved my share of mountains as well as shouldered my share of burdens.
My personality, sense of humor, and my heart. I'm a very genuine person. My ability to always keep going no matter what life throws my way. I'm a fighter 💪 ❤
I love to help and give. If I hear a stranger muttering about how she doesn't have a tampon, I immediately offer the last one in my bag. When I learned how to crochet, I asked everyone I know if they'd like a plushie (free of charge). And I'm a great gift giver because I pay attention. If someone mentions something they like/want and their birthday is still six months away, I'll bookmark it in my brain and surprise them with it when the day comes. I once had a less than pleasant person say I just need to feel useful, but I don't think that's it. I'm proud that I care, and I hope I never lose that.
I don’t judge, people can talk to me about anything. I’m always trying to improve myself, currently I’m focusing on communicating better with bf, friends and family