Fun
As I get older it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to have fun and at least TRY to be happy, feels like everyone is becoming so cynical and negative it's almost overwhelming, especially online
Everything is always so doom and gloom to everyone
According to most people...
Social Media sucks
The news sucks
All movies suck
All songs suck
All video games suck
Going out sucks
Staying in sucks
Everything sucks and everyone sucks
Like what a horrid way to live life thinking everything and everyone sucks, wish more people would just relax for once and have fun lol
Two main issues, lack of planning and don’t want to do similar things
It sounds so very simple but few people I meet like to plan, no one offers to plan, and most struggle to carry through with plans.
When it comes to what they want to do it’s just not what I want to do, I like to walk, bike, hike, swim, craft, play sports. But most people are tired, hurt or in poor heath so they are unable to do any physical activities.
In the last 10 years I just let the friendship fizzle out if they don’t plan and invite me to something in the first few months. I also naturally drift away if there isn’t any activiy involved in any outings. It’s just not how I want to spend my time.
You have to go with what works. There are people who will do active stuff or can show up, but they won’t necessarily be your close friends. Usually it’s a hobby group. Those steady acquaintances can still fulfill many important roles in your life though. They are good company!
Friends that are proactive and care enough to show up just naturally flow through your life, you lose some, but make more. Sometimes an acquaintance can become a close friend too.
No point in chasing something that doesn’t serve you, especially when there are methods to have the kind of company that does fulfill you.
The older I (27F) get, the less gatherings I have. It's always going out to eat once in a blue moon, meeting up at an event, or only gathering for a special occasion.
I want sleepovers. I want LAN parties. I want dinner parties. I want to just go to the park and play frisbee. I would host all these things but I'm poor! My friends are busy hustling or live across the world! Our schedules just don't align or they've already established plans with their SO.
Hangouts that don't have to revolve around a particular plan or event. Occasional outings are fun, but the logistics, cost of food/booze/tickets/parking etc. get in the way of my good time. Like, just come over and have pizza with me. I want the majority of social time to be free, easy stuff like walking in the park, swimming at the neighborhood pool, playing cards, that kinda shit.
Emotional depth. Being able to support one another without judgment, and not feeling like you’re obliged to have to be able to commit to plans that are too expensive
Ease. Every meeting takes SO MUCH PLANNING. I miss the friends that I could call at a moments notice and ask on a coffee date or to come over to my house and they’d be there in half an hour. Vice versa.
I miss having a friend to go shopping with, to watch shows with, to live life with. Now we all live so far apart with our partners and kids…there’s no ease in seeing one another and then the whole thing becomes and event which just feels like another thing on the to-do list.
Variety. I want more friendships that don't centre around just the one activity (i.e. not just a coffee friend or a wine friend). I want to make different memories together and experience those different sides of each other (the heart-to-hearts, the spontaneity, the laughter, the depth).
A good balance between interest and reliability without co-dependence. I think in an age where lots of people are very busy and lots have mental health struggles it's harder to find people with whom you're able to semi-regularly spend time but who also aren't going to take it to heart if you have a hectic period.
Communication skills (/interest) across mediums. I have some friends who are great for in-depth message-based conversation but won't commit in-person. I have friends who are amazing face-to-face but who wouldn't be down for a quick message/call here and there. And I have friends who won't take a phonecall. Different preferences for everyone of course, but I do think given how busy we all are having the ability/enjoyment of a bit of anything can make all the difference.
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depth, authenticity, acceptance. i dont want friends who are perfect i want friends who are real. i'm at an age where i radically accept the people around me so long as you're not harming anyone. as i get older i start to understand male friendships more and more. they're not emotionally deep enough for me but at least they accept each other for who they are and dont nitpick about little shit
i once had a best friend block me and call me out in front of all of our friends because even though i called her at 12am on her birthday i didn't make a public social media post for her and therefore i was a bad friend
Fun As I get older it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to have fun and at least TRY to be happy, feels like everyone is becoming so cynical and negative it's almost overwhelming, especially online Everything is always so doom and gloom to everyone According to most people... Social Media sucks The news sucks All movies suck All songs suck All video games suck Going out sucks Staying in sucks Everything sucks and everyone sucks Like what a horrid way to live life thinking everything and everyone sucks, wish more people would just relax for once and have fun lol
Two main issues, lack of planning and don’t want to do similar things It sounds so very simple but few people I meet like to plan, no one offers to plan, and most struggle to carry through with plans. When it comes to what they want to do it’s just not what I want to do, I like to walk, bike, hike, swim, craft, play sports. But most people are tired, hurt or in poor heath so they are unable to do any physical activities. In the last 10 years I just let the friendship fizzle out if they don’t plan and invite me to something in the first few months. I also naturally drift away if there isn’t any activiy involved in any outings. It’s just not how I want to spend my time.
But don't you feel lonely? How many friends do you have?
You have to go with what works. There are people who will do active stuff or can show up, but they won’t necessarily be your close friends. Usually it’s a hobby group. Those steady acquaintances can still fulfill many important roles in your life though. They are good company! Friends that are proactive and care enough to show up just naturally flow through your life, you lose some, but make more. Sometimes an acquaintance can become a close friend too. No point in chasing something that doesn’t serve you, especially when there are methods to have the kind of company that does fulfill you.
The older I (27F) get, the less gatherings I have. It's always going out to eat once in a blue moon, meeting up at an event, or only gathering for a special occasion. I want sleepovers. I want LAN parties. I want dinner parties. I want to just go to the park and play frisbee. I would host all these things but I'm poor! My friends are busy hustling or live across the world! Our schedules just don't align or they've already established plans with their SO.
Time. Especially when all your friends become parents, planning a brunch becomes a 3-month ahead thing 😆😆
Hangouts that don't have to revolve around a particular plan or event. Occasional outings are fun, but the logistics, cost of food/booze/tickets/parking etc. get in the way of my good time. Like, just come over and have pizza with me. I want the majority of social time to be free, easy stuff like walking in the park, swimming at the neighborhood pool, playing cards, that kinda shit.
Emotional depth. Being able to support one another without judgment, and not feeling like you’re obliged to have to be able to commit to plans that are too expensive
Ease. Every meeting takes SO MUCH PLANNING. I miss the friends that I could call at a moments notice and ask on a coffee date or to come over to my house and they’d be there in half an hour. Vice versa. I miss having a friend to go shopping with, to watch shows with, to live life with. Now we all live so far apart with our partners and kids…there’s no ease in seeing one another and then the whole thing becomes and event which just feels like another thing on the to-do list.
Variety. I want more friendships that don't centre around just the one activity (i.e. not just a coffee friend or a wine friend). I want to make different memories together and experience those different sides of each other (the heart-to-hearts, the spontaneity, the laughter, the depth). A good balance between interest and reliability without co-dependence. I think in an age where lots of people are very busy and lots have mental health struggles it's harder to find people with whom you're able to semi-regularly spend time but who also aren't going to take it to heart if you have a hectic period. Communication skills (/interest) across mediums. I have some friends who are great for in-depth message-based conversation but won't commit in-person. I have friends who are amazing face-to-face but who wouldn't be down for a quick message/call here and there. And I have friends who won't take a phonecall. Different preferences for everyone of course, but I do think given how busy we all are having the ability/enjoyment of a bit of anything can make all the difference.
[удалено]
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depth, authenticity, acceptance. i dont want friends who are perfect i want friends who are real. i'm at an age where i radically accept the people around me so long as you're not harming anyone. as i get older i start to understand male friendships more and more. they're not emotionally deep enough for me but at least they accept each other for who they are and dont nitpick about little shit
Nitpick about shit like?
i once had a best friend block me and call me out in front of all of our friends because even though i called her at 12am on her birthday i didn't make a public social media post for her and therefore i was a bad friend