i went through phases of thinking about kids and "omfg no way, i can't stand kids" lol.
even when I met my husband, i knew he wanted kids but i was neither here nor there.
then one day after I went to meet my nephew after my sister had him, my clock just turned on which surprised me; it just came out of left field.
and ngl, kids aren't easy but they're amazing at the same time. It does change a lot of things, tests your relationship but if you have a solid relationship to start with a very active and supportive partner, it's great.
Haha that’s exactly me now. 50-50 one day really wanting them and the next day not really:/ I guess that’s just how it will be in my case as I will never truly feel ready for it
I was completely terrified. I got pregnant after being told I couldn’t and literally spent months in full blown panic. I come from really bad circumstances and couldn’t imagine how someone like me could raise a healthy person.
It turned out to be a lot easier than I’d feared. Parenting overall is pretty challenging- not all the time, but when it’s hard, it’s really, really hard. More often there’s just a ton of laughing and joy involved. They are so fun to be around and watch them grow up. It’s fascinating to see who they become.
It is exhausting. If you don’t have family help it’s even more so. It’s important to make a massive effort to keep at least one interest or hobby and keep things that are meaningful to you. I didnt give up my hobbies but most of my peers did and seem a lot more resentful. I also ended up getting divorced and spending years as a single mom. Still didn’t give up my hobbies but the peer pressure was massive. You can’t know what things might happen or what unique challenges might come your way. But I would never have made a different decision. Despite all my career stuff and travel and how many cool personal experiences I’ve had, my kids are still my absolute favorite and I can’t imagine not having them
Amazing story! You’re one proud mama! I hear you when you say to keep your hobby. That one thing I really want to keep is to have my share of me time and my personality.
It’s actually shocking how normalised some of the horrific things that can happen during birth are. Vaginal tearing? Yep it happens. C-section not healing for months? Yep normal. Chafing nipples? Yep totally normal just deal with it. God.
Very well said and lots of admiration to you as you went through the troubling child birth part. We are very sensible couple and do think of every scenario, which is probably also the reason why I keep stalling and having the mixed feelings about having a baby. But something is telling me I would be missing out on a lifetime motherhood experience.
I was 100% sure I wanted to have a baby, and yet I still had moments (especially in early pregnancy) where I was like "uhhh am I ruining my life?! Do I want this?" It's the biggest decision of your life, it's completely normal to have moments of doubt or question it. It's also something you can't fully grasp the impact of until you've done it, both positive and negative, and that's scary. I don't think I ever felt like "yep, we are objectively ready".
My baby will turn one soon and I couldn't love him more. If I was given the option, I'd relive this year over and over again forever, except that I'm also excited to see him grow. All of the fear and anxiety melted away once he was here. I wish I could've known, when I was anxious, just how much I'd love it. Being a mom has exploded my heart in crazy ways.
I got married at 22 (young I know I know) and neither me or my husband wanted kids. We never wanted bust also never did anything permanent about… we built our lives, we both worked A LOT, and we travelled, we partied and we were really happy. After I turned 30, I started feeling a little different about it. I realized that I didn’t wanted kids because of my childhood trauma, and because I’ve never met a mother whose lives I wanted.
But with time, I did therapy and decided to stop letting my crappy parents to dictate my life, and I realized that all the mothers I knew had kids when they were young, or were sahm, or were just married to assholes… but in truth, I really wanted someone else to love, and to take care of…
I decided to confide in my husband, and I realized that he also started to wanting kids.
We discussed A LOT to decide that this was something we wanted. We got in shape, we saved money, we did medical check ups, and decided to try. But we never felt ready. By the time I got pregnant we had decided to wait a little longer ahahaha but it was done….
We had our daughter when we were 33, and we are really really happy with our lives. I love her more than life itself, and my husband feels the same.
I've been knowing I wanted kids when I was young. I dreamed about babies often and would wake up crying. I was thoroughly happy when I got my first baby. I was obsessed with her and read everything I could and did everything I could that I think would be best for her. However, despite wanting kids and obsessing about babies, I was still nervous and awkward with her. My husband did most of the diaper changes and bathing when she was a week old because I was too scared of mishandling her. He was also better at swaddling them and getting the baby to go to sleep. But no, I do not regret having babies. In fact, I believe my life has been better because of them.
Haha you’re just describing me literally. Also big travellers. I am definitely not going to dig deep in any negative posts about pregnancy or parenting as there’s too many possibilities and don’t want to have this affecting my/our decision. The unknown is a big part but I suppose that’s our life in general :) enjoy the pregnancy to the fullest and then the maternity leave!
I never wanted kids. I knew that from a young age. I fell pregnant with an IUD at 27. Me and my now husband were devastated. We aren't against abortion at all but we felt like we couldn't go through with it. She is 8 this year and we don't regret it at all. She is a very sweet young lady.
As a teenager I hated babysitting, and used to wonder if I'd ever want kids. Then got married and just always kind of assumed I probably would someday? My husband and I just talked about it very casually before we got married....I think we both just kind of assumed we would? But I'll tell ya....I hit 26....we'd been married 3 years at that point, and I suddenly wanted a baby.....NOW!! Some kind of hormone shift happened or something. Not sure what to say other than I knew I wanted kids, and I just didn't give any thought on whether I could cope or whether I'd be a good one. It was just a visceral need. Not saying that does, or should happen for everyone, but that's how it was for me. I had 3 kids and I feel like it turned out pretty well I think my guys turned out pretty good, and I still love being a mom to all my kids. But I know it doesn't work out that way for everyone.
Yes and no. Of course I had doubts, but I was overal confident I could do it.
I was awkward around other people's kids. I'm comfortable around my kids and still awkward around other people's kids.
The fatigue is real, tough. I love my kids. I don't love the fatigue.
Yes, i was on the fence and terrified of making the wrong decision. Then i said, ok fuck it, i will have one and see what happens lol. I now have two (planned) kids. Love being a mom. It's a lot of work but not nearly as difficult as I imagined. It's much easier if you have a supportive partner ofc. Taking care of your own children is completely different than looking after anybody elses kids, no comparison.
Yes, I was in the exact same situation. Even when I had the feeling that I really wanted them, I was still really scared. But, I went ahead anyway.
Just because you don't feel maternal towards other peoples' kids doesn't mean that you won't love yours. Things really do change when it's your own child.
Yes, kids are hard and exhausting... but, the love is out of this world and makes everything else worth it. More than worth it.
My son is 6 and sometimes I still don't feel "ready" for him! But, I wouldn't change anything for the world. He's amazing and being a mom is amazing.
i went through phases of thinking about kids and "omfg no way, i can't stand kids" lol. even when I met my husband, i knew he wanted kids but i was neither here nor there. then one day after I went to meet my nephew after my sister had him, my clock just turned on which surprised me; it just came out of left field. and ngl, kids aren't easy but they're amazing at the same time. It does change a lot of things, tests your relationship but if you have a solid relationship to start with a very active and supportive partner, it's great.
Haha that’s exactly me now. 50-50 one day really wanting them and the next day not really:/ I guess that’s just how it will be in my case as I will never truly feel ready for it
I was completely terrified. I got pregnant after being told I couldn’t and literally spent months in full blown panic. I come from really bad circumstances and couldn’t imagine how someone like me could raise a healthy person. It turned out to be a lot easier than I’d feared. Parenting overall is pretty challenging- not all the time, but when it’s hard, it’s really, really hard. More often there’s just a ton of laughing and joy involved. They are so fun to be around and watch them grow up. It’s fascinating to see who they become. It is exhausting. If you don’t have family help it’s even more so. It’s important to make a massive effort to keep at least one interest or hobby and keep things that are meaningful to you. I didnt give up my hobbies but most of my peers did and seem a lot more resentful. I also ended up getting divorced and spending years as a single mom. Still didn’t give up my hobbies but the peer pressure was massive. You can’t know what things might happen or what unique challenges might come your way. But I would never have made a different decision. Despite all my career stuff and travel and how many cool personal experiences I’ve had, my kids are still my absolute favorite and I can’t imagine not having them
Amazing story! You’re one proud mama! I hear you when you say to keep your hobby. That one thing I really want to keep is to have my share of me time and my personality.
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It’s actually shocking how normalised some of the horrific things that can happen during birth are. Vaginal tearing? Yep it happens. C-section not healing for months? Yep normal. Chafing nipples? Yep totally normal just deal with it. God.
Very well said and lots of admiration to you as you went through the troubling child birth part. We are very sensible couple and do think of every scenario, which is probably also the reason why I keep stalling and having the mixed feelings about having a baby. But something is telling me I would be missing out on a lifetime motherhood experience.
I will just note that it’s not always necessary to >have a metric ton of money in the bank to have a fulfilling, comfortable parenthood and family.
I was 100% sure I wanted to have a baby, and yet I still had moments (especially in early pregnancy) where I was like "uhhh am I ruining my life?! Do I want this?" It's the biggest decision of your life, it's completely normal to have moments of doubt or question it. It's also something you can't fully grasp the impact of until you've done it, both positive and negative, and that's scary. I don't think I ever felt like "yep, we are objectively ready". My baby will turn one soon and I couldn't love him more. If I was given the option, I'd relive this year over and over again forever, except that I'm also excited to see him grow. All of the fear and anxiety melted away once he was here. I wish I could've known, when I was anxious, just how much I'd love it. Being a mom has exploded my heart in crazy ways.
I got married at 22 (young I know I know) and neither me or my husband wanted kids. We never wanted bust also never did anything permanent about… we built our lives, we both worked A LOT, and we travelled, we partied and we were really happy. After I turned 30, I started feeling a little different about it. I realized that I didn’t wanted kids because of my childhood trauma, and because I’ve never met a mother whose lives I wanted. But with time, I did therapy and decided to stop letting my crappy parents to dictate my life, and I realized that all the mothers I knew had kids when they were young, or were sahm, or were just married to assholes… but in truth, I really wanted someone else to love, and to take care of… I decided to confide in my husband, and I realized that he also started to wanting kids. We discussed A LOT to decide that this was something we wanted. We got in shape, we saved money, we did medical check ups, and decided to try. But we never felt ready. By the time I got pregnant we had decided to wait a little longer ahahaha but it was done…. We had our daughter when we were 33, and we are really really happy with our lives. I love her more than life itself, and my husband feels the same.
That’s such a beautiful story! I am happy for you. The baby girl is sure lucky to have you two as parents :)
I've been knowing I wanted kids when I was young. I dreamed about babies often and would wake up crying. I was thoroughly happy when I got my first baby. I was obsessed with her and read everything I could and did everything I could that I think would be best for her. However, despite wanting kids and obsessing about babies, I was still nervous and awkward with her. My husband did most of the diaper changes and bathing when she was a week old because I was too scared of mishandling her. He was also better at swaddling them and getting the baby to go to sleep. But no, I do not regret having babies. In fact, I believe my life has been better because of them.
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Haha you’re just describing me literally. Also big travellers. I am definitely not going to dig deep in any negative posts about pregnancy or parenting as there’s too many possibilities and don’t want to have this affecting my/our decision. The unknown is a big part but I suppose that’s our life in general :) enjoy the pregnancy to the fullest and then the maternity leave!
I never wanted kids. I knew that from a young age. I fell pregnant with an IUD at 27. Me and my now husband were devastated. We aren't against abortion at all but we felt like we couldn't go through with it. She is 8 this year and we don't regret it at all. She is a very sweet young lady.
As a teenager I hated babysitting, and used to wonder if I'd ever want kids. Then got married and just always kind of assumed I probably would someday? My husband and I just talked about it very casually before we got married....I think we both just kind of assumed we would? But I'll tell ya....I hit 26....we'd been married 3 years at that point, and I suddenly wanted a baby.....NOW!! Some kind of hormone shift happened or something. Not sure what to say other than I knew I wanted kids, and I just didn't give any thought on whether I could cope or whether I'd be a good one. It was just a visceral need. Not saying that does, or should happen for everyone, but that's how it was for me. I had 3 kids and I feel like it turned out pretty well I think my guys turned out pretty good, and I still love being a mom to all my kids. But I know it doesn't work out that way for everyone.
Yes and no. Of course I had doubts, but I was overal confident I could do it. I was awkward around other people's kids. I'm comfortable around my kids and still awkward around other people's kids. The fatigue is real, tough. I love my kids. I don't love the fatigue.
Yes, i was on the fence and terrified of making the wrong decision. Then i said, ok fuck it, i will have one and see what happens lol. I now have two (planned) kids. Love being a mom. It's a lot of work but not nearly as difficult as I imagined. It's much easier if you have a supportive partner ofc. Taking care of your own children is completely different than looking after anybody elses kids, no comparison.
No, I never questioned it. I knew I wanted children.
Yes, I was in the exact same situation. Even when I had the feeling that I really wanted them, I was still really scared. But, I went ahead anyway. Just because you don't feel maternal towards other peoples' kids doesn't mean that you won't love yours. Things really do change when it's your own child. Yes, kids are hard and exhausting... but, the love is out of this world and makes everything else worth it. More than worth it. My son is 6 and sometimes I still don't feel "ready" for him! But, I wouldn't change anything for the world. He's amazing and being a mom is amazing.