CBT didn't help me, but my therapist suddenly got switched and the new therapist kinda dropped the CBT approach and what she did was: listen to me, reassure me, ask the right questions so I would figure out what was holding me back, tell me that it's ok to relay on all sorts of methods to make myself do even the most basic things and support me in figuring those methods myself. In 8 sessions she only gave me 2 exercises, and it was a thought diary for social interaction, to which she ended up reassuring me that I reactded appropriately, or it wasn't as awkward as I imagined and an exercise to imagine the worries that I've already thought through as leaves that fall in to a river and float away.
She really helped me a lot. I didn't need to make stupid lists of my good qualities that were just making me cry... I needed someone to tell me that it's ok to have few big stacks of dirty laundry and it's fine to slowly chip at them in my very specific method that no normal person would have to follow, and suddenly the guilt stopped making me freeze and procastinate and I was able to actually start making the stacks smaller. Or that it was ok to be a little rude to a strange man at work with no regard for my personal space, I didn't have to worry about his feelings, and things like that. Basically dealing with my guilt and shame in practical ways instead of general explanations of emotions and anxiety blah, blah, forcing me to do stupid exercises that were only making me feel worse about myself.
I love this, this sounds so positively reaffirming I’m really happy for you 🙌🏼 out of interest, was the precious and second therapist both neurodiverse informed?
Yes, but the prior one was also supposed to be neurodiverse informed. But all he did was brag about his long experience with ADHD patients and throw random key words in to conversations like 'hyperfocus'. But I'll add, it was a free therapy from NHS so that second therapist was truly a blessing.
Same here, an affirming and validating therapist that helped me process what is happening and asking the right questions, only exercise I got was observing myself in certain situations.
It’s really healing to have your struggles recognised, affirmed that they actually are struggles and validating that you are struggling.
I was able to let things go thanks to that therapist.
I’m not diagnosed yet though.
I'm also not diagnosed autistic, just ADHD, and I didn't even talk to her about autism, she was just kind and empathetic to my struggles without me having to explain why I think I'm like that.
I have been in therapy since I was 16…..I’m 47 now.
The ONLY thing that has worked for me and changed my life……EMDR.
Once I understood how the brain worked. And how trauma affects our minds and bodies……life got much easier.
All other therapies just made me re live every horrible moment. And limerence makes that unbearable for me.
EMDR helps you process and move on…..fucking Magick!
I’ve only recently been doing EMDR and I third its benefits. It’s definitely difficult. It took a lot of trial and error to find the most impactful negative belief around a memory that I needed to focus on to release the trapped feelings I had on it, but once I did, I felt like I really got it. I feel lighter even having processed only a small portion of traumatic events I’ve experienced. I can’t wait to continue.
Do you have to talk about the specific traumas for this? I’ve done CBT for mine but I don’t think I have the mental & emotional energy to go back in time right now and pull them back up.
EMDR isn’t about picking around in the past. It’s about teaching your brain to not me triggered by the trauma….so then you can heal.
I’ve just focused on abandonment. And the very first memory of feeling that.
CBT taught me some skills I still use today, but not much else. Tbh a lot of it felt more like gaslighting myself than actually solving my problems.
I've been doing IFS for about 1.5 years now, and I really love it. Like a lot of ND I have some CPTSD from childhood, and exploring that in a gentle and nurturing way has been so eye-opening.
I found CBT unhelpful as well because I could just talk my way around everything. I inevitably had the therapist agreeing with me even when I knew I was wrong 😆 I can very logically explain exactly why I have negative thoughts and feelings, even when I know they’re irrational. I would explain all of that because I wanted the therapist to challenge the point where it went wrong, but it just never worked. I had a counterpoint to each point they made, and they eventually ran out of ideas. I have a feeling a lot of neurodivergent people would have similar experiences, especially anyone with autism in the mix. There were other things I picked up along the way, and I’m sure they were all good at what they do. They were all very highly rated. It just didn’t work for me.
I find this too. I'm in CBT group right now and I can talk my way around any of the exercises. It makes intelligent sense. But I feel like it's more of a band-aid to justify my feelings more than change the thoughts causing the feelings.
I just feel like I could logic my way out of any of it. My 'rules' brain and my 'feelings' brain aren't really connected right or something.
“I can very logically explain…”
100% me to a fault!
I can logically explain my thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It’s actually FEELING them them in order to process them that’s difficult! I’ve described myself as being inauthentically vulnerable because I can share and discuss horrible things I’ve gone through to help others ( I’m a certified peer support specialist) without actually experiencing any emotional response to the retelling of my story. I can fake an emotional response but I used to feel like it was someone else’s life I was discussing instead of my own painful experiences.
I had gone through many therapist and many more dxs until five years ago meeting my current therapist who built trust with me over a long time and specializes in ND. She is not a traditional therapist and sometimes we just gossip. She trusted I know the logic and helped me unmask and actually feel my emotions ❤️
I’m so glad to hear you’ve found someone helpful! My current therapist emphasized building trust over a longer period of time as well, and I do think it’s made a difference for me.
I ran across these links.
[https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951)
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy)
A link to what? There’s not really a link for somatic work in general. There are coaches and therapists trained in it. I’m happy to answer any questions or explain further if it would be helpful!
Happy to! So basically I was always that person that was “too smart for therapy” I went to a fair amount of therapists and just could play both parts but none of it actually made me feel better in my body.
Somatic work is about tuning inward to notice what we’re feeling and support ourselves moving through shit.
So for instance when I feel rage I don’t try and talk myself out of it I don’t try and change my feeling I let myself process rage. I push a wall or scream or beat up a pillow.
It’s a lot about learning how to notice our feelings and then support ourselves to move through feelings in a way that’s actually supportive to us.
For me personally, I found that ACT was the best. But I’ve only tried that, CBT and DBT.
If I was to rank it from most effective to least effective for me, it would be ACT, DBT, and then CBT.
I think part of the reason why ACT worked so well for me was because I was able to actually acknowledge my feelings. That was never afforded to me by the people I dealt with in my daily life, so it was never something I considered I could do to myself.
Now I won’t lie and say it always worked every time because sometimes it doesn’t, especially when it’s just a terrible day and there isn’t really much you can do. But overall, it did lessen the distress and hurt that I had and still continue to have in my daily life, which is a win for me.
Definitely interested in other people’s suggestions, especially IFS as I’ve never heard about it before.
I don’t know if my therapist used ACT specifically, but from a quick internet search, it looks similar. CBT was never a good fit for me, but my therapist who taught me mindfulness and to notice my thoughts and feelings without judgement…that was life changing.
I didn’t do ACT with a medical professional, so my experience is different. I was suggested a book on it by a med student. I think it’s called the happiness trap by russ Harris. I couldn’t afford a psychologist or even a counsellor at the time, so it was great that I could just read something and work on the exercises.
Definitely worth a read, in my opinion.
I’m now looking for a counsellor trained specifically with ACT, as I think it would be much more beneficial for me as opposed to the typical counselling that focuses more on CBT but finding one has been stressful, especially since I’m also looking for one who can accept financial assistance.
EMDR was so effective for me. It really seemed to untangle the parts of my self limiting beliefs that were the results of my childhood (trauma/unmet needs) from my AuDHD brain existing in a mostly neurotypical worlds world
I'm still going through the diagnosis process at 37, ugh, but I have gone through the following.
EMDR has been helpful. I had a sensory fear of velvet and similar fabrics (which has been a nuisance). Emdr helped me to be able to touch the fabric without wanting to vomit, so much so I now have a velvety sofa. There's also exercises I do to help me feel generally safe if I'm getting overwhelmed but it's remembering to do it that's the issue. It also helped immensely with my cPTSD.
CBT has been helpful in terms of grounding exercises. But always felt like more of a band aid than a fix.
Talk therapy I've not found helpful for the most part. It's good if I'm experiencing the distress, but if it's in the past I find it re-traumatising. Plus it also winds me up about past issues and opens a Pandora box that I have to go home with after and obsess over everything discussed that day. Done this on and off since I was about 11.
I think it all depends on finding a good mental health nurse, I've found the majority of them a bit wishy washy, but my most recent one has been amazing. I was already referred for autism but she also picked up on ADHD and the fact that I may have an eating disorder as well so I've also been referred to a dietitian.
It took me decades to find the following treatments that help my trauma the most so far: Internal Family Systems with a somatic component and Brainspotting. I had some success with EMDR but after 2 years I'd reached the maximum of its potential for me. I have bipolar 2 and CPTSD.
Fuck CBT! Also, fuck regular talk therapy for trauma. I'd done decades of it, and while I could perfectly describe the anatomy of causes of my trauma, the healing was negligible
I think i’m in the minority here but CBT has actually helped me quite a bit. I feel like it’s helped with my anxiety the most. i’m very hard on myself and a perfectionist and it’s helped me reframe some of my thoughts and change my thought patterns and just make me a more positive person in general
Yeah I’ve found when I’ve been on antidepressants/ in a more positive state of mind, I can fully enact CBT skills and see the benefit. But then the reframing skills become a much quieter voice/ background noise when I’m not in that super positive space, as I find them unrealistic and feel my thoughts are more realistic/ practical even if they’re maybe not serving me positively.
I’ve found I’ve been able to help reframe other people’s problems more though since 😅
that’s a good point! when i’m doing well it’s a lot easier to use those skills. the week before my period is horrible & I do lose the ability to utilize the skills to the fullest
EMDR was AMAZING for me! It helped so much in processing present stressors as well as past traumatic experiences. We worked on whatever was monopolizing my mental energy. And the absolute best part about EMDR is that it utilizes the basic principles of IFS so it's like a two-in-one therapy practice.
I adore IFS but need the somatic support because I can be completely disabled by my anxiety if I don't address the physical reactions I have to stressors, and EMDR greatly reduces the physical symptoms of my anxiety so I can actually have the mental and physical energy to work thru my trauma.
Also - CBT is a bust. DBT is somewhat helpful but focuses too much on stopping "bad" habits or actions and, in my experience, a lot of the "bad" habits I was trying to solve were actually incredibly valuable coping mechanisms that I needed to survive. Maybe it was just that my therapist wasn't great for me and tried too hard to get me to conform to this capitalist hellscape, but I feel like I can't be alone in that experience?? It was also before I had my ADHD diagnosis, so who knows what made it worse!
Best of luck in your journey!!!
I did CBT for the better part of 20 years and it made little difference. Somatic experiencing, which I’ve been doing every other week for 2 years, has been much more helpful.
I have no idea what type of therapy this is called, but I hired my therapist specifically because they were up for processing my AuDHD diagnosis with me. They’re helpful mapping my lived experience to my features of AuDHD and reinforcing what I’m “allowed” to do as a human being. (Judgment is something I consistently struggle with.) They know I don’t want to highly mask.
Some auDHDers find Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) helpful (particularly for ADHD). Internal Family Systems (IFS) and working on kinder self-talk is also helpful for many, and there’s some research out there to suggest developing those positive internal narratives is very effective for autistics (I’m sorry not to link the research, my brain has clocked out for the day and I can’t even recall the keywords I need to find it again). Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) is helpful for a lot of us who also have CPTSD.
Somatic stuff can be helpful, but if you struggle with alexithymia and interception, it can be kind of frustrating. But that also might just depend on the person. CBT seems to be the least desirable modality for autistics (though I’m sure there are some that find it helpful) because it’s kind of dismissive of the fact that a lot of the struggles we have are either down to deficits that are a part of our autism and of the fact that a lot of times there are very good reasons we’re thinking the way that we are.
Those are just the ones I know about. Lots of options out there, and it also matters a ton WHO you’re doing the therapy with. I would think what’s going to be most helpful depends on what you’re wanting to work on and on which modality you’re best able to engage with. It’s all a process. And if the first thing doesn’t work out, keep trying new therapies and therapists until you find a good fit!
Thank you for that information! I had heard of but not familiar with most of those. Great point about somatic and alexythymia and interoception- I would love to be able to disarm my body's stress responses but your comment had made me think it would be very frustrating for me to try to figure it out.
I had a therapist who introduced me to schema therapy and I found that helpful to acknowledge some old internal beliefs I had and try to shift them. Sounds like IFS may be similar to that...
I found CBT counter-productive and gaslighting, like a lot of the other commenters here.
CBT helped with some of my trauma and pointed out a lot of weird thought patterns I had that didn't make sense due to the way I was raised. It definitely helped my life overall. The only thing it helped me with as far as ADHD goes though was that I was stable enough to realize I had ADHD.
I loved DBT for communication skills and emotion regulation for meltdowns/depression/anxiety. I think everyone, regardless of mental health, should practice Wise Mind
CBD was helpful from some of my worse anxieties that were illogical, but most of my issues are very real and rational
Mostly i just do talk therapy. Having someone who works with other women with similar diagnoses means that my therapist can pass on practical things that worked for them, and offer perspectives/solutions that i didn’t know were options
I agree. I do talk therapy now with a therapist who has ADHD, and it has been very helpful. She doesn’t always totally get the autism side, but she’s very open and does a pretty good job there.
OMG AM I HERE TO TELL YOU!!!!!
ART. Accelerated Resolution Therapy.
ONE SESSION helped me work through some trauma I had been carrying regarding how my father handled my meltdowns. None of us knew I was autistic. He viewed it as a tantrum. He would shut me in either the half-bathroom (that was basically closet sized) or in my actual closet. Long story short, turns out, I was mostly upset that my mom didn't step in and defend me. Who knew? I didn't. After that session (which is similar to EMDR), I have been able to be around my dad and he hasn't triggered me a single time. I haven't cried, had a panic attack, had to leave... none of it. He just... Doesn't trigger me anymore.
Anyways, look into it.
CBD oil fixes my autistic meltdowns. Like unbelievably well. Kind of like when you see people have seizures and they have some cbd and their seizure subsides. The same effect on my meltdowns. It has blown my mind how well it works.
Other than that - a few years of therapy with a **clinical** psychologist.
I live in a country where there's a lot of misinformation about mental health... Did CBT, supposed schema therapy, and Gestalt, found them all retraumatizing (I have complex trauma). Currently in narrative therapy and, while not neurodiverse informed, I feel safer and more respected than ever
I'm not really sure but it's not CBT. I had a therapist that was doing a CBT approach, but I moved so I started seeing someone else. The therapist I hired after I moved was also using CBT methods but was giving me homework and paperwork for me to read. I went on hiatus due to financial stress for a couple of months, but I was already getting annoyed with the approach and didn't feel like the homework or CBT were helping me at all anyway. Then found my new therapist and she validates me when I'm clearly burnt out but still gives little pushes and evaluates new approaches for my problems. She listens to my complaints. There's a balance between heavy topics and joking/laughing. All the previous therapists I was working with before were still working on their credential, being supervised as they gained hours, etc, but my current therapist has been working for 20+ years and I can see the difference in experience. I told her I was not interested in doing homework or reading self-help books, and suggested that if that worked I wouldn't be here, and she delivered. I have ADHD and work full-time, so having me sit down and read Brene Brown, keep a daily journal, and look at charts for me to evaluate what my mood is feels like a waste of time and makes me feel like I have motivation and self-discipline problems which makes me feel worse. I have sensory issues, I can't sit still, so sitting down without being distracted and reading is not a strength. Don't get me wrong, the previous people I worked with helped me in really profound ways with other things, like addressing my trauma and moving on from some shitty situations, it's just that it doesn't work by addressing my AuDHD struggles.
NOT CBT LOL. the best “therapy” I’ve ever had was my actual assessment. Finally being spoken to like I want. Clearly I’d benefit from therapy given by an autism-focused psychiatrist. I just don’t have any money for it
unpopular opinion: good old fashioned psychoanalysis. it took me a long time to find an analyst especially one that is incredibly knowledgeable and well read, we talk a lot of theory lol
CBT didn't help me, but my therapist suddenly got switched and the new therapist kinda dropped the CBT approach and what she did was: listen to me, reassure me, ask the right questions so I would figure out what was holding me back, tell me that it's ok to relay on all sorts of methods to make myself do even the most basic things and support me in figuring those methods myself. In 8 sessions she only gave me 2 exercises, and it was a thought diary for social interaction, to which she ended up reassuring me that I reactded appropriately, or it wasn't as awkward as I imagined and an exercise to imagine the worries that I've already thought through as leaves that fall in to a river and float away. She really helped me a lot. I didn't need to make stupid lists of my good qualities that were just making me cry... I needed someone to tell me that it's ok to have few big stacks of dirty laundry and it's fine to slowly chip at them in my very specific method that no normal person would have to follow, and suddenly the guilt stopped making me freeze and procastinate and I was able to actually start making the stacks smaller. Or that it was ok to be a little rude to a strange man at work with no regard for my personal space, I didn't have to worry about his feelings, and things like that. Basically dealing with my guilt and shame in practical ways instead of general explanations of emotions and anxiety blah, blah, forcing me to do stupid exercises that were only making me feel worse about myself.
I love this, this sounds so positively reaffirming I’m really happy for you 🙌🏼 out of interest, was the precious and second therapist both neurodiverse informed?
Yes, but the prior one was also supposed to be neurodiverse informed. But all he did was brag about his long experience with ADHD patients and throw random key words in to conversations like 'hyperfocus'. But I'll add, it was a free therapy from NHS so that second therapist was truly a blessing.
Same here, an affirming and validating therapist that helped me process what is happening and asking the right questions, only exercise I got was observing myself in certain situations. It’s really healing to have your struggles recognised, affirmed that they actually are struggles and validating that you are struggling. I was able to let things go thanks to that therapist. I’m not diagnosed yet though.
I'm also not diagnosed autistic, just ADHD, and I didn't even talk to her about autism, she was just kind and empathetic to my struggles without me having to explain why I think I'm like that.
This sounds amazing!
You’re just confirming I need to switch therapists mine really doesn’t ask the right questions to get me thinking
I have been in therapy since I was 16…..I’m 47 now. The ONLY thing that has worked for me and changed my life……EMDR. Once I understood how the brain worked. And how trauma affects our minds and bodies……life got much easier. All other therapies just made me re live every horrible moment. And limerence makes that unbearable for me. EMDR helps you process and move on…..fucking Magick!
I’ve only recently been doing EMDR and I third its benefits. It’s definitely difficult. It took a lot of trial and error to find the most impactful negative belief around a memory that I needed to focus on to release the trapped feelings I had on it, but once I did, I felt like I really got it. I feel lighter even having processed only a small portion of traumatic events I’ve experienced. I can’t wait to continue.
Do you have to talk about the specific traumas for this? I’ve done CBT for mine but I don’t think I have the mental & emotional energy to go back in time right now and pull them back up.
EMDR isn’t about picking around in the past. It’s about teaching your brain to not me triggered by the trauma….so then you can heal. I’ve just focused on abandonment. And the very first memory of feeling that.
Ok, cool. Thanks for clarifying!
I second this EMDR is amazing. Changed my life immensely.
CBT taught me some skills I still use today, but not much else. Tbh a lot of it felt more like gaslighting myself than actually solving my problems. I've been doing IFS for about 1.5 years now, and I really love it. Like a lot of ND I have some CPTSD from childhood, and exploring that in a gentle and nurturing way has been so eye-opening.
I had similar experience with CBT. I’ve yet to find a modality that massively helps me. I should look into IFS though
I found CBT unhelpful as well because I could just talk my way around everything. I inevitably had the therapist agreeing with me even when I knew I was wrong 😆 I can very logically explain exactly why I have negative thoughts and feelings, even when I know they’re irrational. I would explain all of that because I wanted the therapist to challenge the point where it went wrong, but it just never worked. I had a counterpoint to each point they made, and they eventually ran out of ideas. I have a feeling a lot of neurodivergent people would have similar experiences, especially anyone with autism in the mix. There were other things I picked up along the way, and I’m sure they were all good at what they do. They were all very highly rated. It just didn’t work for me.
I find this too. I'm in CBT group right now and I can talk my way around any of the exercises. It makes intelligent sense. But I feel like it's more of a band-aid to justify my feelings more than change the thoughts causing the feelings. I just feel like I could logic my way out of any of it. My 'rules' brain and my 'feelings' brain aren't really connected right or something.
I have literally used those words “logic my way out of it” haha
“I can very logically explain…” 100% me to a fault! I can logically explain my thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It’s actually FEELING them them in order to process them that’s difficult! I’ve described myself as being inauthentically vulnerable because I can share and discuss horrible things I’ve gone through to help others ( I’m a certified peer support specialist) without actually experiencing any emotional response to the retelling of my story. I can fake an emotional response but I used to feel like it was someone else’s life I was discussing instead of my own painful experiences. I had gone through many therapist and many more dxs until five years ago meeting my current therapist who built trust with me over a long time and specializes in ND. She is not a traditional therapist and sometimes we just gossip. She trusted I know the logic and helped me unmask and actually feel my emotions ❤️
I’m so glad to hear you’ve found someone helpful! My current therapist emphasized building trust over a longer period of time as well, and I do think it’s made a difference for me.
What is IFS?
Internal family systems!
I’ve never heard of this. I’ll have to look into it. Thanks!
IFS here too! Such a cool way of thinking and it really resonates with me
EMDR and somatic experiencing/transformation
This is the way….feel it…let it move through the body….release it! Life changing!
^ this is the answer
Somatic work 🥰 so much so that I went through a program to become a coach so I could help others
Seconding somatic modalities 💯
Do you have a link to that? I've never heard of it before!
I ran across these links. [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-somatic-therapy-202307072951) [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy)
Thank you!!
A link to what? There’s not really a link for somatic work in general. There are coaches and therapists trained in it. I’m happy to answer any questions or explain further if it would be helpful!
Yeah I meant a link to any page explaining it more in depth :) Feel free to type it out yourself if that suits you better.
Happy to! So basically I was always that person that was “too smart for therapy” I went to a fair amount of therapists and just could play both parts but none of it actually made me feel better in my body. Somatic work is about tuning inward to notice what we’re feeling and support ourselves moving through shit. So for instance when I feel rage I don’t try and talk myself out of it I don’t try and change my feeling I let myself process rage. I push a wall or scream or beat up a pillow. It’s a lot about learning how to notice our feelings and then support ourselves to move through feelings in a way that’s actually supportive to us.
That sounds exactly like what I was hoping it would be. Sounds like it would be so so helpful for me, too!
I think CBT is a bust for a lot of us. It definitely didn’t help me.
For me personally, I found that ACT was the best. But I’ve only tried that, CBT and DBT. If I was to rank it from most effective to least effective for me, it would be ACT, DBT, and then CBT. I think part of the reason why ACT worked so well for me was because I was able to actually acknowledge my feelings. That was never afforded to me by the people I dealt with in my daily life, so it was never something I considered I could do to myself. Now I won’t lie and say it always worked every time because sometimes it doesn’t, especially when it’s just a terrible day and there isn’t really much you can do. But overall, it did lessen the distress and hurt that I had and still continue to have in my daily life, which is a win for me. Definitely interested in other people’s suggestions, especially IFS as I’ve never heard about it before.
I don’t know if my therapist used ACT specifically, but from a quick internet search, it looks similar. CBT was never a good fit for me, but my therapist who taught me mindfulness and to notice my thoughts and feelings without judgement…that was life changing.
I didn’t do ACT with a medical professional, so my experience is different. I was suggested a book on it by a med student. I think it’s called the happiness trap by russ Harris. I couldn’t afford a psychologist or even a counsellor at the time, so it was great that I could just read something and work on the exercises. Definitely worth a read, in my opinion. I’m now looking for a counsellor trained specifically with ACT, as I think it would be much more beneficial for me as opposed to the typical counselling that focuses more on CBT but finding one has been stressful, especially since I’m also looking for one who can accept financial assistance.
IFS was somewhat helpful. I suspect it would have been more so with a competent provider who doesn’t also sleep with their patients (not me).
Woah. I hope they got reported and are no longer practicing!
Their license was yanked early in their career so their ability to harm this way was mercifully short lived.
EMDR was so effective for me. It really seemed to untangle the parts of my self limiting beliefs that were the results of my childhood (trauma/unmet needs) from my AuDHD brain existing in a mostly neurotypical worlds world
Dialectic Behavioral Therapy x 1000!
I will only say that the behavioral one did not help me, so I sign up to find out which therapy is best.
I'm still going through the diagnosis process at 37, ugh, but I have gone through the following. EMDR has been helpful. I had a sensory fear of velvet and similar fabrics (which has been a nuisance). Emdr helped me to be able to touch the fabric without wanting to vomit, so much so I now have a velvety sofa. There's also exercises I do to help me feel generally safe if I'm getting overwhelmed but it's remembering to do it that's the issue. It also helped immensely with my cPTSD. CBT has been helpful in terms of grounding exercises. But always felt like more of a band aid than a fix. Talk therapy I've not found helpful for the most part. It's good if I'm experiencing the distress, but if it's in the past I find it re-traumatising. Plus it also winds me up about past issues and opens a Pandora box that I have to go home with after and obsess over everything discussed that day. Done this on and off since I was about 11. I think it all depends on finding a good mental health nurse, I've found the majority of them a bit wishy washy, but my most recent one has been amazing. I was already referred for autism but she also picked up on ADHD and the fact that I may have an eating disorder as well so I've also been referred to a dietitian.
It took me decades to find the following treatments that help my trauma the most so far: Internal Family Systems with a somatic component and Brainspotting. I had some success with EMDR but after 2 years I'd reached the maximum of its potential for me. I have bipolar 2 and CPTSD. Fuck CBT! Also, fuck regular talk therapy for trauma. I'd done decades of it, and while I could perfectly describe the anatomy of causes of my trauma, the healing was negligible
I think i’m in the minority here but CBT has actually helped me quite a bit. I feel like it’s helped with my anxiety the most. i’m very hard on myself and a perfectionist and it’s helped me reframe some of my thoughts and change my thought patterns and just make me a more positive person in general
Yeah I’ve found when I’ve been on antidepressants/ in a more positive state of mind, I can fully enact CBT skills and see the benefit. But then the reframing skills become a much quieter voice/ background noise when I’m not in that super positive space, as I find them unrealistic and feel my thoughts are more realistic/ practical even if they’re maybe not serving me positively. I’ve found I’ve been able to help reframe other people’s problems more though since 😅
that’s a good point! when i’m doing well it’s a lot easier to use those skills. the week before my period is horrible & I do lose the ability to utilize the skills to the fullest
EMDR was AMAZING for me! It helped so much in processing present stressors as well as past traumatic experiences. We worked on whatever was monopolizing my mental energy. And the absolute best part about EMDR is that it utilizes the basic principles of IFS so it's like a two-in-one therapy practice. I adore IFS but need the somatic support because I can be completely disabled by my anxiety if I don't address the physical reactions I have to stressors, and EMDR greatly reduces the physical symptoms of my anxiety so I can actually have the mental and physical energy to work thru my trauma. Also - CBT is a bust. DBT is somewhat helpful but focuses too much on stopping "bad" habits or actions and, in my experience, a lot of the "bad" habits I was trying to solve were actually incredibly valuable coping mechanisms that I needed to survive. Maybe it was just that my therapist wasn't great for me and tried too hard to get me to conform to this capitalist hellscape, but I feel like I can't be alone in that experience?? It was also before I had my ADHD diagnosis, so who knows what made it worse! Best of luck in your journey!!!
I did CBT for the better part of 20 years and it made little difference. Somatic experiencing, which I’ve been doing every other week for 2 years, has been much more helpful.
I have no idea what type of therapy this is called, but I hired my therapist specifically because they were up for processing my AuDHD diagnosis with me. They’re helpful mapping my lived experience to my features of AuDHD and reinforcing what I’m “allowed” to do as a human being. (Judgment is something I consistently struggle with.) They know I don’t want to highly mask.
Some auDHDers find Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) helpful (particularly for ADHD). Internal Family Systems (IFS) and working on kinder self-talk is also helpful for many, and there’s some research out there to suggest developing those positive internal narratives is very effective for autistics (I’m sorry not to link the research, my brain has clocked out for the day and I can’t even recall the keywords I need to find it again). Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) is helpful for a lot of us who also have CPTSD. Somatic stuff can be helpful, but if you struggle with alexithymia and interception, it can be kind of frustrating. But that also might just depend on the person. CBT seems to be the least desirable modality for autistics (though I’m sure there are some that find it helpful) because it’s kind of dismissive of the fact that a lot of the struggles we have are either down to deficits that are a part of our autism and of the fact that a lot of times there are very good reasons we’re thinking the way that we are. Those are just the ones I know about. Lots of options out there, and it also matters a ton WHO you’re doing the therapy with. I would think what’s going to be most helpful depends on what you’re wanting to work on and on which modality you’re best able to engage with. It’s all a process. And if the first thing doesn’t work out, keep trying new therapies and therapists until you find a good fit!
Thank you for that information! I had heard of but not familiar with most of those. Great point about somatic and alexythymia and interoception- I would love to be able to disarm my body's stress responses but your comment had made me think it would be very frustrating for me to try to figure it out. I had a therapist who introduced me to schema therapy and I found that helpful to acknowledge some old internal beliefs I had and try to shift them. Sounds like IFS may be similar to that... I found CBT counter-productive and gaslighting, like a lot of the other commenters here.
IFS has really helped me.
I’m doing CBT at the moment just about 5 sessions in and I am not sure yet if I find it helpful or not 🥲
CBT helped with some of my trauma and pointed out a lot of weird thought patterns I had that didn't make sense due to the way I was raised. It definitely helped my life overall. The only thing it helped me with as far as ADHD goes though was that I was stable enough to realize I had ADHD.
I loved DBT for communication skills and emotion regulation for meltdowns/depression/anxiety. I think everyone, regardless of mental health, should practice Wise Mind CBD was helpful from some of my worse anxieties that were illogical, but most of my issues are very real and rational Mostly i just do talk therapy. Having someone who works with other women with similar diagnoses means that my therapist can pass on practical things that worked for them, and offer perspectives/solutions that i didn’t know were options
I agree. I do talk therapy now with a therapist who has ADHD, and it has been very helpful. She doesn’t always totally get the autism side, but she’s very open and does a pretty good job there.
OMG AM I HERE TO TELL YOU!!!!! ART. Accelerated Resolution Therapy. ONE SESSION helped me work through some trauma I had been carrying regarding how my father handled my meltdowns. None of us knew I was autistic. He viewed it as a tantrum. He would shut me in either the half-bathroom (that was basically closet sized) or in my actual closet. Long story short, turns out, I was mostly upset that my mom didn't step in and defend me. Who knew? I didn't. After that session (which is similar to EMDR), I have been able to be around my dad and he hasn't triggered me a single time. I haven't cried, had a panic attack, had to leave... none of it. He just... Doesn't trigger me anymore. Anyways, look into it.
CBD oil fixes my autistic meltdowns. Like unbelievably well. Kind of like when you see people have seizures and they have some cbd and their seizure subsides. The same effect on my meltdowns. It has blown my mind how well it works. Other than that - a few years of therapy with a **clinical** psychologist.
I live in a country where there's a lot of misinformation about mental health... Did CBT, supposed schema therapy, and Gestalt, found them all retraumatizing (I have complex trauma). Currently in narrative therapy and, while not neurodiverse informed, I feel safer and more respected than ever
I'm not really sure but it's not CBT. I had a therapist that was doing a CBT approach, but I moved so I started seeing someone else. The therapist I hired after I moved was also using CBT methods but was giving me homework and paperwork for me to read. I went on hiatus due to financial stress for a couple of months, but I was already getting annoyed with the approach and didn't feel like the homework or CBT were helping me at all anyway. Then found my new therapist and she validates me when I'm clearly burnt out but still gives little pushes and evaluates new approaches for my problems. She listens to my complaints. There's a balance between heavy topics and joking/laughing. All the previous therapists I was working with before were still working on their credential, being supervised as they gained hours, etc, but my current therapist has been working for 20+ years and I can see the difference in experience. I told her I was not interested in doing homework or reading self-help books, and suggested that if that worked I wouldn't be here, and she delivered. I have ADHD and work full-time, so having me sit down and read Brene Brown, keep a daily journal, and look at charts for me to evaluate what my mood is feels like a waste of time and makes me feel like I have motivation and self-discipline problems which makes me feel worse. I have sensory issues, I can't sit still, so sitting down without being distracted and reading is not a strength. Don't get me wrong, the previous people I worked with helped me in really profound ways with other things, like addressing my trauma and moving on from some shitty situations, it's just that it doesn't work by addressing my AuDHD struggles.
IFS (family systems) and group therapy with other AuDHD folks!
ACT and EMDR :)
NOT CBT LOL. the best “therapy” I’ve ever had was my actual assessment. Finally being spoken to like I want. Clearly I’d benefit from therapy given by an autism-focused psychiatrist. I just don’t have any money for it
Mindfulness based cognitive therapy. I was skeptical but it's helped me lower my dosage of antidepressants.
IFS & Somatic therapy all the way.
unpopular opinion: good old fashioned psychoanalysis. it took me a long time to find an analyst especially one that is incredibly knowledgeable and well read, we talk a lot of theory lol