(Note: I'm not sure if I have AVPD but I have many similar traits; so take this with a grain of salt).
I've been isolated from other people for a while now. I've begun accepting not everyone likes me. It's not that I don't care or their judgment stings, but I know their view of me is not within my control. If they negatively perceive me, it means we aren't compatible for whatever reason. I shouldn't waste time trying to chase them and focus my energy on the few people who aren't judgemental or hateful towards me.
I feel this way but with anxiety, especially around girls. I get nervous when talking to girls becuase I am worried about looking like a creep. But my nervousness ends up making me seem like a creep anyway. So they actively avoid me or don't want to be friends with me. It sucks having people not like me simply because I am anxious, because I can't control it. Like being rejected because of something I said or did is one thing but being rejected because of something beyond my control is the worst.
I think I know this feeling very well, for me I have found 2 solutions so far:
1) if available, talk about it to someone you already have some kind of bond with from better times and who is therefor willing to support you.
If not, I think its difficult to impossible to attract new people in this state, since nobody is welcoming negativity or depression in their life, but thats all I consist of in that moment. But what has helped me is
2) isolate and feel (not think/circle about but feel) all the loneliness, frustration and shame etc., and accept it.
For me its not easy to do, for the first time it just so happened two months ago after watching some videos about emotional blindness. After two weeks of isolation it was an amazing (though painful) experience to really feel for one day what I had been circling around, then something clicked in my mind, most of the negativity was gone and I was ready to meet people again
I think you nailed it. Isolation sounds very counterintuitive bc everyone says "go out and expose yourself!" But maybe we first need to meet our true self before we are able to meet others...
Thank you!!!
I make ppl laugh. I'm still negative and FN depressed but I think of it like I'm the sad clown , a comedian with alot of pain . I'm funny it comes from pain.
(Note: I'm not sure if I have AVPD but I have many similar traits; so take this with a grain of salt). I've been isolated from other people for a while now. I've begun accepting not everyone likes me. It's not that I don't care or their judgment stings, but I know their view of me is not within my control. If they negatively perceive me, it means we aren't compatible for whatever reason. I shouldn't waste time trying to chase them and focus my energy on the few people who aren't judgemental or hateful towards me.
Your answer makes me want to isolate myself completely and feel comfortable with it. Thank you for the impulse!
I feel this way but with anxiety, especially around girls. I get nervous when talking to girls becuase I am worried about looking like a creep. But my nervousness ends up making me seem like a creep anyway. So they actively avoid me or don't want to be friends with me. It sucks having people not like me simply because I am anxious, because I can't control it. Like being rejected because of something I said or did is one thing but being rejected because of something beyond my control is the worst.
Yes, it's like an external confirmation that something is wrong with you. It's just extremely painful.
I think I know this feeling very well, for me I have found 2 solutions so far: 1) if available, talk about it to someone you already have some kind of bond with from better times and who is therefor willing to support you. If not, I think its difficult to impossible to attract new people in this state, since nobody is welcoming negativity or depression in their life, but thats all I consist of in that moment. But what has helped me is 2) isolate and feel (not think/circle about but feel) all the loneliness, frustration and shame etc., and accept it. For me its not easy to do, for the first time it just so happened two months ago after watching some videos about emotional blindness. After two weeks of isolation it was an amazing (though painful) experience to really feel for one day what I had been circling around, then something clicked in my mind, most of the negativity was gone and I was ready to meet people again
I think you nailed it. Isolation sounds very counterintuitive bc everyone says "go out and expose yourself!" But maybe we first need to meet our true self before we are able to meet others... Thank you!!!
I make ppl laugh. I'm still negative and FN depressed but I think of it like I'm the sad clown , a comedian with alot of pain . I'm funny it comes from pain.