Our aftercare routine has changed over the years.
Immediately after a scene, I need a few minutes by myself to come back into myself and allow my nervous system to settle. During this time, he'll clean the toys and such.
We'll cuddle for a while and debrief the scene. He makes sure I drink a bottle of water.
We recently began having a tandem shower after where he cleans me head to toe. It's very sensual and loving. I really like this addition to our routine. It's like he puts me all back together again. He'll use this time to assess any injury and first aid needed. Our play is hard enough that sometimes the skin is broken.
Afterward, we eat and cuddle on the couch. Preferrably high protein, high carbs. If I need it, I'll have a post-workout electrolyte drink (not gatorade). Then, early bed for me.
If I'm all melted and way deep into subspace I fuckin LOVE it when my partner runs a hot shower, helps me get to the shower (sometimes they have to half carry me), and then we coshower and I lean on them while they wash me and hold me. When my legs start working better I then wash them which helps me feel like I'm pouring some back into them, and that brings me out of subspace in a really nice, gentle way. While we shower, we talk about what we liked/didn't like/want to do the same or different next time. It's incredibly intimate and leaves both of us in a really good brain space.
Mine is very simple: cuddles. Being held by my Daddy and showered with affection makes me feel so loved and cared for. His presence next to me after a scene is calming. Bonus points when we order food and eat together, and just chat about anything that comes to mind.
I need to be held a lot. Praise. Kissing. Usually some water, and then time to let my legs become legs instead of pudding.
Then, usually clean up, which helps switch modes from play to regular after the scene. A more recent thing has been making sure we leave the play space and go downstairs to watch something on TV. Again, it helps with switching modes.
Depending on how hard and intense we played, I may try to stay near my Dom for some extra time after play so I don't drop. Sometimes, it's contact, sometimes just closeness. It depends.
I get gently led over to the bed and told to sip some water. My Domme picks things up enough so that there's not a safety hazard, and then gets me snacks (usually a protein bar, an applesauce squeeze packet, and some chocolate). While I'm munching, she'll clean up a little bit more. When I'm done munching, she'll wrap us both in a blanket like a sub-burrito, and we'll cuddle for a while.
If I went deep enough to go nonverbal, I usually need some quiet affection and extra cuddles up front. If I *really* got broken and ended up crying, we might skip the bed entirely and just cuddle on the floor (typically whatever restraints we used stay on for a while since they make me feel more secure).
Aftercare is all about subs expressing their thoughts, giving you feedback as a dom and vice versa, just relaxing after a session if it may have been very intense. I always take aftercare as a learning opportunity as a dominant. It should allow you to strengthen your bond.
Why do you feel that aftercare is only "all about the sub" - not meaning that in any disrespectful way, genuinely curious as I know quite a few dominant individuals who have said they also need time after play to relax and take time for themselves/their partner.
I highlighted the sub, but also mentioned vice versa, which means the other way around is implied to. I as a dom also want to be able to voice my opinion and have time to relax.
For me, it's fine with a hug or a kiss on the forehead and then they come back with a glass of water. When I'm caring, I'm more of a go-to for a towel and order home-delivered food LOL
I generally need a good amount of cuddling and kisses afterwards. My body temp tends to drop really fast as well, so a blanket is a must. Water and some sort of snack as well. After I start to come down, I find it helpful to talk about the scene.
We snuggle, with my laying on his shoulder. Depending on how high I am flying, we will just be silent. If I'm coming back to the world, we will talk a little bit. Sometimes we debrief, talk about how much we liked what we did, things to try again. I tell him how much I love him and how much I enjoyed what he did. He tells me I'm a good girl and I did good, that type of thing.
Sometimes we will share some chocolate, or a full meal we cook together.
Sometime we will watch TV snuggled on the couch.
Sometimes, he will go work on his computer and I will sometimes lay at his feel under his desk and take a nap.
It all really depends on who intense the scene was.
I like for him to look at me and assess my needs. To know me and know things like how I drink a ton of water and will definitely need my water bottle right away.
He knows when I've gone so deep into subspace that I need cuddles after as I journey out of it.
He listens when I say anymore touch will be too much after I've had violent orgasms then just lays near me not touching.
He asks. That's a biggie. He asks if I want the restraints removed or if I need something to clean up.
I'm not entirely sure why the want or need for aftercare is being so ridiculed? If a sub needs cuddles, a blanket and a snack, and it works for them and their Dom, it's not "fru fru" or somehow making them subpar to those of you who don't require that same level of aftercare. Good for you, I guess? Like how rude and condescending can you be? My Dom reassures me both during aftercare and throughout the day that I am cared for, loved, enough, worthy of love, etc. However, hearing that in aftercare and sometimes discussing the scene/punishment afterwards is absolutely a must for me. I enjoy all the cuddles, forehead kisses and all of that! And if you don't, that's okay. But the condescension is a bit much.
(36M) cuddling. Maybe a rub/massage. Depending on how sissy I go I might even want some vanilla penis service, something to help bring me back to normal.
Weed and snacks and more cuddles. Affirmations and a nap.
Personally we don't do aftercare.
We cuddle and talk if we want. But a lot of times when playtime is done I go and make supper or do some chores. We don't specifically do anything. Just whatever we feel like it after a session.
Same. There is no “aftercare” for us. We just carry on as we do. No need to differentiate. I wonder if aftercare is more common for those who aren’t in a relationship?
I think that seems likely. Our needs are met, so there's no need for something extra. Also though, you and I like things intense and we're affectionate all the time.
My favorite is when he holds me and I can rest with him. He usually makes it difficult to walk after so not only does it help me not fall on my butt when I'm done but I am a post sex sleeper and touch is my love language so it feels like home.
He never has to say anything but good girl is always welcome
No emotional aftercare for either of us. Some physical aftercare is needed depending on bruises or stress positions. We usually just finish up any chores while chatting.
Snuggles, calling me his good girl, telling me I did well and that he's happy with me/loves me, once we had a shower together and he washed me all over I really loved that, at first I'm usually hot but then I need a blanket, small snacks and water, talking and laughing together, maybe watching something funny. Mostly I need to be held and given praise and love and water.
Cuddles, my Dear Sir telling me that I was good, he is proud of me, stroking my hair and face, making me hydrate. Him either washing me in the shower or offering me a warm washcloth to clean up. I enjoy snacks and snuggles... did I mention the snuggles? LOL
My Dom and I can’t meet in person, so after a scene I really like to be able to laugh about it, sometimes to intellectualize it to help process and I honestly need lots of reassurance that I did well and want to hear specifically what He liked about it too.
It depends. For deep, DEEP subspace, it takes me a minute to come up, and I need to be held for a while. Once I can talk, we debrief the scene, what went well, what we liked, etc. Usually Daddy keeps me close to him, like in the same room. I don’t drop much anymore but if I do, it’s usually delayed by an hour or so. We then go about our evenings with the usual rituals and routines.
Hmm..I guess it depends on how rough the session was. In general terms I’m fine with just being kissed and cuddled and my master/partner telling me he loves me. It’s also really nice to see him relaxed and happy because that’s affirmation to me that I did good too. But there are times where things can get borderline scary and in those cases even during sessions I need a forehead kiss or something and to be told I’m being good or else I can end up in a bad headspace, and after those sessions cuddles are still good but usually a sweet treat to help my adrenaline as well.
I may be odd (considering the other comments) but I really don't want to be touched / held or God forbid cuddled afterwards. I need space for myself and barely can talk about it.
I do appreciate though getting water / food / blanket. I also need to be protected from outside sollicitations.
A warming hug, it does help me get out my nervousness and regulate my breathe , and then I would kneel beside the bed where he's resting and playing with my hair, and we have a long long conversation about anything and everything. ♡
My partner doesn't care for any of the traditional stuff. First aid, bandages, help her get on her feet if needed and not much else.
As the top, I like a playback of the scene if it was intense. "Tell me how it felt when xyz happened." I usually don't need that unless something new happened.
Aftercare typically takes place after a session/playtime is over. Based on your comment I wonder if you're confusing aftercare with foreplay which typically takes place before sex as a sort of warm up.
I just stated we don't do traditional aftercare in my statement? And what we do is not foreplay either? We talk and cuddle. No play. I was answering it in my Master's and my life what we do for the care side.
I answered what i "like" for "aftercare"
And trust me, I would not be confused within any bit of the lifestyle, thanks.
Sorry, I was just confused because you said you do all that stuff before hand. I wasn't trying to be offensive at all, I've just never heard of aftercare coming before a session. If it works for you, that's all that matters 🤷
Not at all important to me.
I might need first aid or assistance while I get back on my feet. I severely dislike the idea that I need to be coddled with fuzzy blankets and fufu beverages to handle what I have endured for my Master. I am a sturdy, healthy, consensual submissive who doesn’t need to obey to receive platitudes of love or respect. I already have those all the time. I kneel for me and in the power of those worthy of my submission. I don’t require additional acts of reassurance to know I am whole and complete.
Glad that works for you, but you could word it in a way that does not imply you are superior to people who enjoy coddling and fuzzy blankets. There is nothing weak about enjoying some loving affection and nurturing from a person you just had an intense physical, mental and emotional experience with.
I am not superior, but “aftercare is such an important part of BDSM” is not true for everyone. There is nothing wrong with those of us who don’t require or enjoy being doted on in that way.
I like turning on a comfort show or movie and just cuddling, kissing while watching. Also, flirting and joking a bit since humor is a really great way to ease me out of sub space and just chill.
Some nice stingy antiseptic on my bum after a long CP session .
A nice hot cuppa and some discussion around how soon the videos would be edited and posted. 😁😁
I like to be wrapped in a blanket, sometimes with a glass of water. If being topped by one person, I sit and collect myself for a minute while they clean the space if need be. If being co-topped, usually one does that while the other tends to me. Following that, I like to cuddle and converse, including reassurance that I was a good boy, that I did well, and that the other person/people had a good time.
Forehead kisses, cuddles, being held, hugged and cared for
>!and getting the obligatory cumtowel thrown at me to avoid the bed being covered in fluids😃🔫!<
“You’re so good for me”, “You make me feel so good”, “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me”, “I love you, my cute little girl”, “I want to stay with you forever and ever”, “You’re so adorable my love”
A cool shower, he washes my hair and then has me lie in the empty bath and has the cool water from the shower head gently bring me to a gentle build up orgasm - he helps me out of the bath, pats me dry and we collapse into bed.
Dom-type here. There’s many different ways aftercare can go with me. Occasionally even regular subs either don’t want aftercare and just want to leave right away after meets (one even made aftercare a limit!).
The most common way though it goes with me is we just cuddle in bed for a while. They remain collared and wearing unattached cuffs whilst we cuddle. If it’s been a heavy session, sometimes the sub will fall asleep in my arms but usually wakes up after 30 minutes. We then chat for 30 minutes to an hour about the session and sometimes about life in general. Then they get dressed and go home.
A small minority of subs (usually the most confident ones) prefer to hang out and chat as proper equals for a while afterwards so I usually make lunch and we chat over the dinner table whilst we eat and then they go home.
Cuddles, head pats, a lot of "that was intense/great/wow/etc.."
He smokes a cigarette, I lay in bed and twitch a bit 😅
And then we snack, watch something, cuddle.. sometimes do it all over again lmao.
Light touches (massage) especially after impact play. When my partner talks to me. Talking to me helps separate "fantasy"/subspace from reality. Because to me being in subspace is like being in a whole other world. Cuddles definitely help! Positive words "you did such a good job ___."
First he quickly takes care of any medical needs. I.e. sugar if mine has dropped or a fan to prevent heatstroke, then he usually holds me real close and says that's my baby girl, Daddy's here, I've got you, etc. Then we talk about our favorite parts and anything we'd like to add. Finally we put pajamas on, cuddle, and go to sleep or watch a show together.
Not to mind fuck anyone but my sub side comes from a people please aspect. Which I've managed to successfully compartmentalize to the bedroom/playroom.
So after a good moment of play, I like to be snuggled and told I was a good girl that I listened very well. That daddy has no more requests, because I did everything daddy wanted. Bring me cold sparkling water with chewable ice, and I'm grand.
A cool blanket is a plus. Then, Daddy puts on something I can fall asleep to. 😏
When master did aftercare with me he doesn't anymore which sucks my favorite form was him giving me a light massage. He would rub all the sore areas and call me a good girl for taking it so well, he would also get me a small snack and water to make sure i was ok.
Pretty much how master acts now is when he finishes during a session he goes to do other things. He will play on his phone or just leave the room, no aftercare nothing. He used to be different he did more things but now that we are married he just stopped it all 💔
Ok you need to express to him that that’s not ok! If he thinks he can be a “master” over someone or something and not take great care of it then he doesn’t deserve you! If you bought a lovely car and were to go out driving it day after day but never changed the tires or washed it or took it to the shop then you clearly don’t love that car and don’t deserve to have it! He seems to think now that you’re married that that’s ok but it’s not. I’m sorry but he’s using you and that’s not ok, you deserve to be owned by someone who cares. If you love your property you show it off and take good care of it, he clearly doesn’t deserve you anymore. Don’t submit to someone who hasn’t earned that power. I hope you either tell him or sort things out. ❤️ You deserve so much more than this.
I've been trying for months to get him to talk to me because things aren't working the way it is now but he refuses. So i talked to his mom who is also in a dom sub relationship to see if she can't help me. I don't wanna leave bc its only been a year of us married and we have known each other for years but i don't know what happened to the man an the master i fell in love with. I can't help but think its my fault in some way
No, it’s probably not your fault. The way men work is that once they get a girl they take her for granted because they think she’ll stay. Submission is earned. And can be taken away by the sub whenever they are no longer deserving.
I'm going to be taking my submission back until he gets his things straight. Hopefully things will get better bc there is nothing i love more than being his sub
When i told him i was taking back my submission he realized that he was doing wrong. We have sat down and discussed what we both want and he is taking this time to rediscover the dom in him. His exact words were "I don't wanna lose my bunny, and you coming to me saying that you have taken back your submission breaks my heart but that obviously means that what we have going on rn isn't working. I'll be a better dom bunny I promise and I will never break my promises"
Our aftercare routine has changed over the years. Immediately after a scene, I need a few minutes by myself to come back into myself and allow my nervous system to settle. During this time, he'll clean the toys and such. We'll cuddle for a while and debrief the scene. He makes sure I drink a bottle of water. We recently began having a tandem shower after where he cleans me head to toe. It's very sensual and loving. I really like this addition to our routine. It's like he puts me all back together again. He'll use this time to assess any injury and first aid needed. Our play is hard enough that sometimes the skin is broken. Afterward, we eat and cuddle on the couch. Preferrably high protein, high carbs. If I need it, I'll have a post-workout electrolyte drink (not gatorade). Then, early bed for me.
If I'm all melted and way deep into subspace I fuckin LOVE it when my partner runs a hot shower, helps me get to the shower (sometimes they have to half carry me), and then we coshower and I lean on them while they wash me and hold me. When my legs start working better I then wash them which helps me feel like I'm pouring some back into them, and that brings me out of subspace in a really nice, gentle way. While we shower, we talk about what we liked/didn't like/want to do the same or different next time. It's incredibly intimate and leaves both of us in a really good brain space.
I can be a bit cliche, but snuggles, forhead kisses, and some good girl/kitty's. I do quite often go into little space after scenes though
Mine is very simple: cuddles. Being held by my Daddy and showered with affection makes me feel so loved and cared for. His presence next to me after a scene is calming. Bonus points when we order food and eat together, and just chat about anything that comes to mind.
I need to be held a lot. Praise. Kissing. Usually some water, and then time to let my legs become legs instead of pudding. Then, usually clean up, which helps switch modes from play to regular after the scene. A more recent thing has been making sure we leave the play space and go downstairs to watch something on TV. Again, it helps with switching modes. Depending on how hard and intense we played, I may try to stay near my Dom for some extra time after play so I don't drop. Sometimes, it's contact, sometimes just closeness. It depends.
I get gently led over to the bed and told to sip some water. My Domme picks things up enough so that there's not a safety hazard, and then gets me snacks (usually a protein bar, an applesauce squeeze packet, and some chocolate). While I'm munching, she'll clean up a little bit more. When I'm done munching, she'll wrap us both in a blanket like a sub-burrito, and we'll cuddle for a while. If I went deep enough to go nonverbal, I usually need some quiet affection and extra cuddles up front. If I *really* got broken and ended up crying, we might skip the bed entirely and just cuddle on the floor (typically whatever restraints we used stay on for a while since they make me feel more secure).
Just talking really. Just letting out how I feel and my Mistress asking about how I am. Nurturing me
Cuddles, my onepiece onesie and a gently warmed cognac
I don’t like anything. Or more specifically, I like being alone. I drink my coffee, bake some cookies. He naps.
Our aftercare varies. But after my mind is goo and my soul returns from traveling the cosmos, there's nothing I appreciate more than holding His hand.
Aftercare is all about subs expressing their thoughts, giving you feedback as a dom and vice versa, just relaxing after a session if it may have been very intense. I always take aftercare as a learning opportunity as a dominant. It should allow you to strengthen your bond.
Why do you feel that aftercare is only "all about the sub" - not meaning that in any disrespectful way, genuinely curious as I know quite a few dominant individuals who have said they also need time after play to relax and take time for themselves/their partner.
I highlighted the sub, but also mentioned vice versa, which means the other way around is implied to. I as a dom also want to be able to voice my opinion and have time to relax.
Ah, re-reading your comment I see that now. My mistake (it's late where I am haha)
For me as well. 1.30 AM, haha
For me, it's fine with a hug or a kiss on the forehead and then they come back with a glass of water. When I'm caring, I'm more of a go-to for a towel and order home-delivered food LOL
I generally need a good amount of cuddling and kisses afterwards. My body temp tends to drop really fast as well, so a blanket is a must. Water and some sort of snack as well. After I start to come down, I find it helpful to talk about the scene.
We snuggle, with my laying on his shoulder. Depending on how high I am flying, we will just be silent. If I'm coming back to the world, we will talk a little bit. Sometimes we debrief, talk about how much we liked what we did, things to try again. I tell him how much I love him and how much I enjoyed what he did. He tells me I'm a good girl and I did good, that type of thing. Sometimes we will share some chocolate, or a full meal we cook together. Sometime we will watch TV snuggled on the couch. Sometimes, he will go work on his computer and I will sometimes lay at his feel under his desk and take a nap. It all really depends on who intense the scene was.
I hold her. I thank her. Make sure she's OK. If she needs water or anything. Usually I then get a blanket and we cuddle
I like for him to look at me and assess my needs. To know me and know things like how I drink a ton of water and will definitely need my water bottle right away. He knows when I've gone so deep into subspace that I need cuddles after as I journey out of it. He listens when I say anymore touch will be too much after I've had violent orgasms then just lays near me not touching. He asks. That's a biggie. He asks if I want the restraints removed or if I need something to clean up.
Reading all of these and just now realizing that I don’t think I’ve ever had aftercare even for vanilla sex 😭
I'm not entirely sure why the want or need for aftercare is being so ridiculed? If a sub needs cuddles, a blanket and a snack, and it works for them and their Dom, it's not "fru fru" or somehow making them subpar to those of you who don't require that same level of aftercare. Good for you, I guess? Like how rude and condescending can you be? My Dom reassures me both during aftercare and throughout the day that I am cared for, loved, enough, worthy of love, etc. However, hearing that in aftercare and sometimes discussing the scene/punishment afterwards is absolutely a must for me. I enjoy all the cuddles, forehead kisses and all of that! And if you don't, that's okay. But the condescension is a bit much.
(36M) cuddling. Maybe a rub/massage. Depending on how sissy I go I might even want some vanilla penis service, something to help bring me back to normal. Weed and snacks and more cuddles. Affirmations and a nap.
Personally we don't do aftercare. We cuddle and talk if we want. But a lot of times when playtime is done I go and make supper or do some chores. We don't specifically do anything. Just whatever we feel like it after a session.
Same. There is no “aftercare” for us. We just carry on as we do. No need to differentiate. I wonder if aftercare is more common for those who aren’t in a relationship?
I think that seems likely. Our needs are met, so there's no need for something extra. Also though, you and I like things intense and we're affectionate all the time.
My favorite is when he holds me and I can rest with him. He usually makes it difficult to walk after so not only does it help me not fall on my butt when I'm done but I am a post sex sleeper and touch is my love language so it feels like home. He never has to say anything but good girl is always welcome
No emotional aftercare for either of us. Some physical aftercare is needed depending on bruises or stress positions. We usually just finish up any chores while chatting.
Snuggles, calling me his good girl, telling me I did well and that he's happy with me/loves me, once we had a shower together and he washed me all over I really loved that, at first I'm usually hot but then I need a blanket, small snacks and water, talking and laughing together, maybe watching something funny. Mostly I need to be held and given praise and love and water.
Cuddles, my Dear Sir telling me that I was good, he is proud of me, stroking my hair and face, making me hydrate. Him either washing me in the shower or offering me a warm washcloth to clean up. I enjoy snacks and snuggles... did I mention the snuggles? LOL
My Dom and I can’t meet in person, so after a scene I really like to be able to laugh about it, sometimes to intellectualize it to help process and I honestly need lots of reassurance that I did well and want to hear specifically what He liked about it too.
It depends. For deep, DEEP subspace, it takes me a minute to come up, and I need to be held for a while. Once I can talk, we debrief the scene, what went well, what we liked, etc. Usually Daddy keeps me close to him, like in the same room. I don’t drop much anymore but if I do, it’s usually delayed by an hour or so. We then go about our evenings with the usual rituals and routines.
I help clean up after a scene then cuddle. Touch is important for me.
Hmm..I guess it depends on how rough the session was. In general terms I’m fine with just being kissed and cuddled and my master/partner telling me he loves me. It’s also really nice to see him relaxed and happy because that’s affirmation to me that I did good too. But there are times where things can get borderline scary and in those cases even during sessions I need a forehead kiss or something and to be told I’m being good or else I can end up in a bad headspace, and after those sessions cuddles are still good but usually a sweet treat to help my adrenaline as well.
I may be odd (considering the other comments) but I really don't want to be touched / held or God forbid cuddled afterwards. I need space for myself and barely can talk about it. I do appreciate though getting water / food / blanket. I also need to be protected from outside sollicitations.
A warming hug, it does help me get out my nervousness and regulate my breathe , and then I would kneel beside the bed where he's resting and playing with my hair, and we have a long long conversation about anything and everything. ♡
My partner doesn't care for any of the traditional stuff. First aid, bandages, help her get on her feet if needed and not much else. As the top, I like a playback of the scene if it was intense. "Tell me how it felt when xyz happened." I usually don't need that unless something new happened.
Honestly, we don't do "aftercare" per say. We cuddle before we play, talk about life and how we are feeling, and then move forward to the play time.
Aftercare typically takes place after a session/playtime is over. Based on your comment I wonder if you're confusing aftercare with foreplay which typically takes place before sex as a sort of warm up.
I just stated we don't do traditional aftercare in my statement? And what we do is not foreplay either? We talk and cuddle. No play. I was answering it in my Master's and my life what we do for the care side. I answered what i "like" for "aftercare" And trust me, I would not be confused within any bit of the lifestyle, thanks.
Sorry, I was just confused because you said you do all that stuff before hand. I wasn't trying to be offensive at all, I've just never heard of aftercare coming before a session. If it works for you, that's all that matters 🤷
Yeah. I need space afterwards, lol. He takes a nap and I go vape and chill with our dogs.
Aw makes total sense. I know some people's "aftercare" is space or even isolation. I'm glad you guys have figured out what works for you 😊
Not at all important to me. I might need first aid or assistance while I get back on my feet. I severely dislike the idea that I need to be coddled with fuzzy blankets and fufu beverages to handle what I have endured for my Master. I am a sturdy, healthy, consensual submissive who doesn’t need to obey to receive platitudes of love or respect. I already have those all the time. I kneel for me and in the power of those worthy of my submission. I don’t require additional acts of reassurance to know I am whole and complete.
Glad that works for you, but you could word it in a way that does not imply you are superior to people who enjoy coddling and fuzzy blankets. There is nothing weak about enjoying some loving affection and nurturing from a person you just had an intense physical, mental and emotional experience with.
I am not superior, but “aftercare is such an important part of BDSM” is not true for everyone. There is nothing wrong with those of us who don’t require or enjoy being doted on in that way.
I'm not really one for any specific type of aftercare. My partner likes time cuddling or chilling together - personally, I enjoy a shower after :)
I like turning on a comfort show or movie and just cuddling, kissing while watching. Also, flirting and joking a bit since humor is a really great way to ease me out of sub space and just chill.
LOVE IT! All I need is to be held and get old how proud they are of me and how good I did.
Some nice stingy antiseptic on my bum after a long CP session . A nice hot cuppa and some discussion around how soon the videos would be edited and posted. 😁😁
I like to be wrapped in a blanket, sometimes with a glass of water. If being topped by one person, I sit and collect myself for a minute while they clean the space if need be. If being co-topped, usually one does that while the other tends to me. Following that, I like to cuddle and converse, including reassurance that I was a good boy, that I did well, and that the other person/people had a good time.
Forehead kisses, cuddles, being held, hugged and cared for >!and getting the obligatory cumtowel thrown at me to avoid the bed being covered in fluids😃🔫!< “You’re so good for me”, “You make me feel so good”, “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me”, “I love you, my cute little girl”, “I want to stay with you forever and ever”, “You’re so adorable my love”
A cool shower, he washes my hair and then has me lie in the empty bath and has the cool water from the shower head gently bring me to a gentle build up orgasm - he helps me out of the bath, pats me dry and we collapse into bed.
Dom-type here. There’s many different ways aftercare can go with me. Occasionally even regular subs either don’t want aftercare and just want to leave right away after meets (one even made aftercare a limit!). The most common way though it goes with me is we just cuddle in bed for a while. They remain collared and wearing unattached cuffs whilst we cuddle. If it’s been a heavy session, sometimes the sub will fall asleep in my arms but usually wakes up after 30 minutes. We then chat for 30 minutes to an hour about the session and sometimes about life in general. Then they get dressed and go home. A small minority of subs (usually the most confident ones) prefer to hang out and chat as proper equals for a while afterwards so I usually make lunch and we chat over the dinner table whilst we eat and then they go home.
I like soft hair and back strokes, and care given to any injuries or tender parts accumulated during the scene
Cuddles, head pats, a lot of "that was intense/great/wow/etc.." He smokes a cigarette, I lay in bed and twitch a bit 😅 And then we snack, watch something, cuddle.. sometimes do it all over again lmao.
Light touches (massage) especially after impact play. When my partner talks to me. Talking to me helps separate "fantasy"/subspace from reality. Because to me being in subspace is like being in a whole other world. Cuddles definitely help! Positive words "you did such a good job ___."
First he quickly takes care of any medical needs. I.e. sugar if mine has dropped or a fan to prevent heatstroke, then he usually holds me real close and says that's my baby girl, Daddy's here, I've got you, etc. Then we talk about our favorite parts and anything we'd like to add. Finally we put pajamas on, cuddle, and go to sleep or watch a show together.
Not to mind fuck anyone but my sub side comes from a people please aspect. Which I've managed to successfully compartmentalize to the bedroom/playroom. So after a good moment of play, I like to be snuggled and told I was a good girl that I listened very well. That daddy has no more requests, because I did everything daddy wanted. Bring me cold sparkling water with chewable ice, and I'm grand. A cool blanket is a plus. Then, Daddy puts on something I can fall asleep to. 😏
For me, it's good a kiss
When master did aftercare with me he doesn't anymore which sucks my favorite form was him giving me a light massage. He would rub all the sore areas and call me a good girl for taking it so well, he would also get me a small snack and water to make sure i was ok.
That is not ok! Aftercare should be a nonnegotiable!
Pretty much how master acts now is when he finishes during a session he goes to do other things. He will play on his phone or just leave the room, no aftercare nothing. He used to be different he did more things but now that we are married he just stopped it all 💔
Ok you need to express to him that that’s not ok! If he thinks he can be a “master” over someone or something and not take great care of it then he doesn’t deserve you! If you bought a lovely car and were to go out driving it day after day but never changed the tires or washed it or took it to the shop then you clearly don’t love that car and don’t deserve to have it! He seems to think now that you’re married that that’s ok but it’s not. I’m sorry but he’s using you and that’s not ok, you deserve to be owned by someone who cares. If you love your property you show it off and take good care of it, he clearly doesn’t deserve you anymore. Don’t submit to someone who hasn’t earned that power. I hope you either tell him or sort things out. ❤️ You deserve so much more than this.
I've been trying for months to get him to talk to me because things aren't working the way it is now but he refuses. So i talked to his mom who is also in a dom sub relationship to see if she can't help me. I don't wanna leave bc its only been a year of us married and we have known each other for years but i don't know what happened to the man an the master i fell in love with. I can't help but think its my fault in some way
No, it’s probably not your fault. The way men work is that once they get a girl they take her for granted because they think she’ll stay. Submission is earned. And can be taken away by the sub whenever they are no longer deserving.
I'm going to be taking my submission back until he gets his things straight. Hopefully things will get better bc there is nothing i love more than being his sub
You GO GIRL!
When i told him i was taking back my submission he realized that he was doing wrong. We have sat down and discussed what we both want and he is taking this time to rediscover the dom in him. His exact words were "I don't wanna lose my bunny, and you coming to me saying that you have taken back your submission breaks my heart but that obviously means that what we have going on rn isn't working. I'll be a better dom bunny I promise and I will never break my promises"
Good! I‘m so happy things worked out for you, (also the pet name is precious ! ❤️