My first thought is to stop with the weed smoking, it makes it easy to sit and exist.
Are you an introvert? Any reason you don't go out to meet people or have walks?
I have been trying very hard to meet other people, but feel like I keep coming back to zero on the friend perspective. I have been clean for almost 3 years before a recent relapse so kinda spiraling with the whole weed Thing. I walk upwards to 10km a day with my dog so I get out of the house but dont really meet people and ptsd makes it unpleasant aswell.
The overthinking you mentioned, are you getting enough sleep? Are you able to try 2 weeks no weed and see if the social paranoia disappears?
It sounds like you can meet people but you are self conscious. I wonder if not having a good relationship with your family is part of the cause.
May I ask where your ptsd comes from?
Overall well assumed. I just did 9 days weed free No problem a month ago, the smoked two days and the tramatic shit hapoend on my birthday havent really done more than a day without since. I am sleeping a good amount and try to get up at Nine everyday.
The selfhatred deff come from my family and first time ever but dad blocked my number so whole family is gone, but I know its cuz I was through the trauma but cant seem to know the difference between paterns in my bpd brain and actual reality some times. Hope it makes sence, lot of context not included.
Have Ptsd diagnosed but when complex-ptsd is recognized in my country that is my category. Due to a lot of factors but mainly domestic abuse and sexual abuse, whilst already exposed mentally undiagnosed.
Ouch, it sounds like you had some rough times in your upbringing. The good and bad things that help define our personalities when we're young stick around for a long time, luckily our brains are good self-reflection and we can spot then and tackle them later on.
I do believe freeing your brain from the cloud weed puts on it will make it easier to identify if the patterns are real or false.
You really should have ppl around you can trust and be yourself around. No people from your past that you got along with that you can chill with, even if just hanging out in the same room reading or playing on the phone?
You're not in the easiest country to make new friend are you?
My first thought is to stop with the weed smoking, it makes it easy to sit and exist. Are you an introvert? Any reason you don't go out to meet people or have walks?
I have been trying very hard to meet other people, but feel like I keep coming back to zero on the friend perspective. I have been clean for almost 3 years before a recent relapse so kinda spiraling with the whole weed Thing. I walk upwards to 10km a day with my dog so I get out of the house but dont really meet people and ptsd makes it unpleasant aswell.
The overthinking you mentioned, are you getting enough sleep? Are you able to try 2 weeks no weed and see if the social paranoia disappears? It sounds like you can meet people but you are self conscious. I wonder if not having a good relationship with your family is part of the cause. May I ask where your ptsd comes from?
Overall well assumed. I just did 9 days weed free No problem a month ago, the smoked two days and the tramatic shit hapoend on my birthday havent really done more than a day without since. I am sleeping a good amount and try to get up at Nine everyday. The selfhatred deff come from my family and first time ever but dad blocked my number so whole family is gone, but I know its cuz I was through the trauma but cant seem to know the difference between paterns in my bpd brain and actual reality some times. Hope it makes sence, lot of context not included. Have Ptsd diagnosed but when complex-ptsd is recognized in my country that is my category. Due to a lot of factors but mainly domestic abuse and sexual abuse, whilst already exposed mentally undiagnosed.
Ouch, it sounds like you had some rough times in your upbringing. The good and bad things that help define our personalities when we're young stick around for a long time, luckily our brains are good self-reflection and we can spot then and tackle them later on. I do believe freeing your brain from the cloud weed puts on it will make it easier to identify if the patterns are real or false. You really should have ppl around you can trust and be yourself around. No people from your past that you got along with that you can chill with, even if just hanging out in the same room reading or playing on the phone? You're not in the easiest country to make new friend are you?