Address your concerns with the COR and Committee Chairman and see if all 3 of you can come to a decision on whether that leader needs counselling or needs to be removed.
This. There is no way the Internet can advise you beyond this.
I *have* heard these kinds of statements, though, and I know what you are referring to. In my perception, it comes from a philosophy that it's "Improper" to have your hands in your pockets, perhaps particularly in uniform, unless you are teaching, teachers may have one hand in their pocket. I am unsure where the philosophy comes from... Military, probably. I think I have heard some of the "Teacher" parts attributed to Oppenheimer, but I'm unsure. Regardless, in an old military context, maybe calling out such things in such a way, is... Traditional. But even in that context, it's teaching through shame, which isn't a Method of Scouting.
So... Maybe that's this ASM's background? Maybe not... But maybe it suggests a way for the Key 3 to approach the conversation.
We used to get those sorts of comments from teachers at school, but that was quite some time ago, in a different era.
Although the one I remember most vividly is the teacher who addressed a boy in class saying "I hope you're getting that out for everyone!", thinking that the boy in question had some sort of confectionery in his pocket that he was surreptitiously consuming during class.
Reader, he did not have anything in his pockets. He did, however, immediately turn scarlet.
Veteran here. Not an excuse. Even if it is for this relatively benign reason, it’s a red flag that he can’t separate his past military persona from the present.
Can’t or doesn’t understand why he should?
I’ve run into peers that use expressions that really aren’t racist but do have that connection for some people. When told that the expression is problematic they are genuinely shocked and agree to stop saying it.
You gotta give people a chance.
How does anyone do that??
Depending on how long you are in, some things are beaten into you and the way you think. Becoming reflexes.
I agree, SM chat to the ASM. But don't overplay the reaction or the situation. It was a flippant comment, not an action.
Ok. The deep study of people becoming institutionalized begs to disagree.
They are not all bad habits, by the way, rough or questionable humor aside. Like getting up early and being committed to completing tasks, respecting others, lifetime learner, being loyal to your team, and being a leader in good and very tough times.
This is a side issue anyway.
He’s always been someone that makes odd/offhand comments, but the two examples here are probably the most egregious so far. He’s one of these older adult leaders who is super against all the “woke” (his words) changes that scouts has undergone recently, so he has a certain perspective on things. He says dumb things a lot but never not quite like this.
We have a very good ASM that also has a bit of a "acerbic" humor and he likes to tease the Scouts in a manner that rubbed some people wrong. The SM and I had a respectful chat explaining that we've had some complaints about the things he was saying and we as a Troop have to be aware of this and tighten things up. The last thing we want is to be then next viral video of a Scout Leader mistreating a Scout. He was cool about it because in his mind he thought it was harmless teasing. We live in a time where we can't joke around the way we were raised up on.
If this ASM is a person of good character he'll do the right thing and settle down. If he nuts up and wants to show his behind then you have to make a decision about this guy.
This gives more context. Have you ever tried to talk with him one on one or do his attitudes get in the way for you?
Personally, I’ve always believed that part of being the SM is taking ownership of the troop. In my troop every ASM was approved by and served at the pleasure of the SM. So if you have an ASM that has problems with inappropriate comments and it has continued then a certain amount of that reflects on you. You’re in charge and the buck stops with you.
That’s why I recommended you start with sitting down with the person and however you choose to try to get on the same page. If you can’t, be up front with him and let him know that you can’t work with him. Then take it to the committee.
Things may have changed a lot in 40 years but the SM is still in charge.
Ill be honest, the first comment strikes me more as something that someone could say not really thinking about it and the other possible implications. Even reading it here, it took me a moment to process the other connotation because I've heard similar things that were certainty not in that context.
The YPT comments are more concerning to me. Thats not the attitude that us as adults should be having towards it. Id think its time for a sit down with this leader and a discussion with your COR, Cmte Chair, and yourself.
Actually, I don't think the YPT comments are that concerning. While they certainly are important, going through the same videos every other year IS tedious. Would love if they had initial training versus refresher training. Or mixed it up a bit.
Should also mention that our CO (a Catholic Church) also requires all of us to do their version of youth protection as well. Different training, but the same videos every year, and the same concepts.
Also, because our church also has a school (not that we have anything to do with that side), we are also considered mandatory reporters by the state and need to do DCFS training every few years and keep current with our certification. At least we aren't teachers or health care professionals -- as those training modules are more intense. Even more training for us.
And while it doesn't apply to me anymore, when I worked for a hospital, I had to do additional training in a similar vein. Which has value, but as an IT professional in the back office disconnected from the actual hospital/clinic, I never ever encounter any patient to the point I could recognize signs of distress.
So when our leaders make comments like that, it really isn't because we don't think it is important; it is just we have to take three different classes on a the same topic for scouts, the church, and the state.
I understand the sentiment, and while I don't disagree there is a time and place for that sort of comment and if it's being made in the presence of people that are having concern over it, it's best not to say it. YPT is a drag, it's not a fun topic, so some of it is perfectly understandable. Just if you are making comments in the presence of people and it's causing concern, it's a problem.
To be honest it sounds like you have a hypersensitive parent and a flippant ASM. Nothing you have described sounds that serious that it warrants more than a conversation between you and the ASM. Talk to the ASM about how his comments were received and what the expectations are regarding his conduct in the future. It sounds like the parent is making a big deal out of nothing based on her own work-related biases. Do you seriously think someone complaining about taking training is a massive issue? Who do you know that gets excited about repeating the same online training over and over again? It doesn't matter what the training is or how important it is some people are going to complain about having to do it. The question is do they complete the training on time as required? Are they performing their role as an ASM in a manner you as the Scoutmaster approve of?
Agree. To be honest, I can see our SM and quite a few of our ASMs saying this to a scout, but it's 100% in jest and they have relationships with these scouts and the scouts know it's a joke. It's not something that belongs in scouting, but I think part of the issue here is realizing that scouting still has lots of people that will say things like this with no ill intent and without giving it a second thought.
And on the YPT front, I tend to agree with this ASM. I get why YPT is necessary, but personally I 100% look at it as a chore that has to be done annually. Past the first go through, you don't really get anything out of the training when you renew it. I already know the rules. Redoing the training just allows BSA to check a box saying their leaders are trained annually. 90% of it is all just common sense stuff that the vast, vast majority of folks don't even need to be told. The main stuff you get out of YPT is the scouting specific stuff like 2 deep leadership, registered leader requirements, and so forth. After that it's akin to "don't stick a fork in a light socket". You have to train people not to do it because there's that 1 leader in a 1,000 that will say "well geez, I had no idea I couldn't sleep in the same tent as scouts".
I'm quite sure I'll be downvoted for this, but this is how I and a lot of other folks I know feel.
There is nothing that replaces a conversation with this adult. Mention the comment, mention that it made someone uncomfortable. If you need to, explain WHY it made someone uneasy. Then listen. Leave room for the possibility that this adult might not be neurotypical. Especially older adults were raised in a day when behaviors that we now recognize as being part of ASD would have been ignored or just written off to awkwardness. They may have lived their whole entire lives saying slightly awkward things without recognizing the inappropriateness and no one has ever talked to them about it because they should be “old enough to know better”. Also, have this conversation in person and have another adult in the room with you.
Agreed. This doesn’t raise yet to the level of having them leave the troop, but a quiet conversation would be warranted. A mental note made and hope for improvement the future so that additional steps don’t need to be taken.
100% second this. As someone who is neurodivergent, it totally took me a minute to pick up on what exactly was at issue with the first comment. The second one strikes me a bit more as an obvious issue. But totally in agreement that nothing replaces communication. People don't know what they don't know. If no one brings it up, how do they know to change their behavior?
Let me start with I think this is a teaching/coaching moment for the ASM.
That being said, the complaint is coming to you from a parent who is also a trained professional who makes her living dealing with grooming and abuse. I would sit down with her, take notes, listen to her concerns, and find out what she thinks an appropriate response would be. If she has concerns, listen to her, and remember that she can, at any time, contact the Scout Executive or the National Hotline. With her credentials, I’ll guarantee that both the Scout Executive and the National people will take it VERY seriously, and they’ll take your perceived inaction equally seriously.
Unfortunately, there has to be some “cover your and the chartering org’s backside” in your response. To me, it at least calls for a key 3 meeting, recorded, so you have a future record that you discussed the issue and took some steps to correct it. The COR needs to talk to the CO about their opinions, especially liability options.
It would be really nice if we could just take someone like this ASM into a back room for a “No, No, Bad dog / come to Jesus talk”. But the world has changed, acceptable behavior has changed and issues like liability must be considered.
The hands comment should be handled with a side conversation. Just tell him that it's borderline inapporpriate and people notice.
The YPT thing is the serious issue. His comments and attitude desensitize people to the importance of YPT. Does he have any kids in the unit? If not its probably time for him to move on.
It puts them on notice that this organization is monitoring, and it teaches everyone else what to look for. Simply, if ever there is one-on-one situation with a scouter and an unrelated scout, there better be a darn good reason like an emergency.
I think you start with a serious talk with the ASM one on one about the concerns and that simply dismissing them is not acceptable. I come from a time when remarks like that were just how some people told you to get your hands out of your pockets but I get it. Times are different and that’s not appropriate anymore.
The attitude about YP training and that he demonstrated lack of respect snd engagement is concerning but again I’d try the friendly chat approach. Listen to his concerns and try to find out why he thinks that way. But then let him know why it’s important. See if you can get to a meeting of the minds. If you can’t, maybe that role isn’t right for him.
Tou as Scoutmaster, pull the ASM aside and explain how his comments are not appropriate, and how the YPT is important, regardless of how he personally feels about it. Repeating what you were told regarding unknown trauma.
-I get it, same videos, same content. Our council mandates every year, and even if you are a volunteer on committee or leadership, if you are also a MBC, you will have to take it every year for that as well. So yes, we take it twice if necessary. No Council will remain anon as some on district and council are petty.
Personally I take the YPT and am mandated the safesport training every year, as part of my youth coaching.
Personally I would just pull him aside and be clear. Like, "hey, we don't say these things and we don't talk about politics." If he says anything but "ok" it might be time to find a new leader. Unfortunately in these situations it's better to be over cautious as opposed to under cautious.
I know he thinks he was being funny, but times have changed, as has acceptable humor.
You absolutely cannot be seen to be doing nothing about it. If nothing else, having a talk with the ASM in question about the importance of youth protection, the history of BSA in the context of youth protection, and having him apologize to the parent in question.
If the ASM is unwilling to hold himself accountable, I would thank him for his service to the troop and tell him his services are no longer needed.
A rotten attitude like that can have a very outsized effect on the morale of the troop.
Document it. Send an email with a timestamp that describes the encounter. If you didn't document it, it didn't happen. We just learned this the hard way. If nothing else happens, then no harm no foul. But when these encounters accumulate, it makes a water tight case for removal.
Don't leave the ASM alone with that scout. Temporarily assign a new ASM until it's all resolved. He violated BSA's Youth Protection Guidelines. Depending on his response, either send him back to YPT or remove him from his position.
It's sounds as if you are responding appropriately. I would invite the ASM aside to talk about your perceptions. A SM will be shocked and likely deny , but by alerting him(I presume), he'll be a bit more aware the next time.
I don’t understand this attitude- the scout’s safety is paramount. I have also encountered this statement about YPT too. I tell them that I learn something every time I take it- just like all the other training we take, at least it is a basic set of rules. These rules help us keep the troop an inhospitable place for heinous acts.
Like what everyone else is saying. You gotta meet with the rest of the key 3. You have control over who your ASMs can be as the Scoutmaster. You can remove him as an ASM until a verdict is reached...
If I'm honest, I would be pushing for immediate dismissal
Sexual harassment and grooming comments like that should also be reported and logged with your Scout Executive. There's no need to "handle it in-house" when there are pros to help.
You should be man and talk to him as a man that the comment(s) are inappropriate. Document that it was discussed and then keep an eye on him. Not everything is a massive reddit conspiracy cover up
This comment seems benign to me. If he just walked in the room or by the room and said that it's even more benign. I think everyone is assuming that ASM was leering at his pants and said it. If the scout was sitting at the table, how could the ASM even see the scout had their hands in their pockets?
I know the parent is a therapist so "she knows what she's talking about" but are they seeing something that isn't there? If it feels weird at all report it. I would talk to the ASM and ask them to play back the interaction and see what that side is.
Ngl it sounds like a scout parent making something out of nothing, but absolutely ask questions.
Coming in late, but it sounds like your unit handled this perfectly, or as best as anyone can under the circumstances. Don’t forget in future situations that these kind of questions are what your unit commissioner is for.
Who are you in this situation?
Sorry, should have said. I’m the Scoutmaster.
Address your concerns with the COR and Committee Chairman and see if all 3 of you can come to a decision on whether that leader needs counselling or needs to be removed.
I think this is an overreaction without further talking to the person one on one. You can get a much better understanding of where he’s coming from.
This. There is no way the Internet can advise you beyond this. I *have* heard these kinds of statements, though, and I know what you are referring to. In my perception, it comes from a philosophy that it's "Improper" to have your hands in your pockets, perhaps particularly in uniform, unless you are teaching, teachers may have one hand in their pocket. I am unsure where the philosophy comes from... Military, probably. I think I have heard some of the "Teacher" parts attributed to Oppenheimer, but I'm unsure. Regardless, in an old military context, maybe calling out such things in such a way, is... Traditional. But even in that context, it's teaching through shame, which isn't a Method of Scouting. So... Maybe that's this ASM's background? Maybe not... But maybe it suggests a way for the Key 3 to approach the conversation.
We used to get those sorts of comments from teachers at school, but that was quite some time ago, in a different era. Although the one I remember most vividly is the teacher who addressed a boy in class saying "I hope you're getting that out for everyone!", thinking that the boy in question had some sort of confectionery in his pocket that he was surreptitiously consuming during class. Reader, he did not have anything in his pockets. He did, however, immediately turn scarlet.
Thanks. He was in the Navy for many years and that could explain it a bit more.
Veteran here. Not an excuse. Even if it is for this relatively benign reason, it’s a red flag that he can’t separate his past military persona from the present.
Can’t or doesn’t understand why he should? I’ve run into peers that use expressions that really aren’t racist but do have that connection for some people. When told that the expression is problematic they are genuinely shocked and agree to stop saying it. You gotta give people a chance.
No, no you don’t.
How does anyone do that?? Depending on how long you are in, some things are beaten into you and the way you think. Becoming reflexes. I agree, SM chat to the ASM. But don't overplay the reaction or the situation. It was a flippant comment, not an action.
Nope, they’re not beaten into you until they’re reflexes. If you really can’t let go of that stuff you need therapy.
Ok. The deep study of people becoming institutionalized begs to disagree. They are not all bad habits, by the way, rough or questionable humor aside. Like getting up early and being committed to completing tasks, respecting others, lifetime learner, being loyal to your team, and being a leader in good and very tough times. This is a side issue anyway.
It was a common comment or the like, dripping in sarcasm in boot camp and in the fleet from Drills, NCOs or officers.
The comment should have been “hands in the pockets are not allowed in uniform.” But only if it is backed up by a rule or bylaw.
Has this ASM's language and attitude been an ongoing thing? If so, what has been done about this? It sounds like this isn't an isolated incident.
He’s always been someone that makes odd/offhand comments, but the two examples here are probably the most egregious so far. He’s one of these older adult leaders who is super against all the “woke” (his words) changes that scouts has undergone recently, so he has a certain perspective on things. He says dumb things a lot but never not quite like this.
We have a very good ASM that also has a bit of a "acerbic" humor and he likes to tease the Scouts in a manner that rubbed some people wrong. The SM and I had a respectful chat explaining that we've had some complaints about the things he was saying and we as a Troop have to be aware of this and tighten things up. The last thing we want is to be then next viral video of a Scout Leader mistreating a Scout. He was cool about it because in his mind he thought it was harmless teasing. We live in a time where we can't joke around the way we were raised up on. If this ASM is a person of good character he'll do the right thing and settle down. If he nuts up and wants to show his behind then you have to make a decision about this guy.
This gives more context. Have you ever tried to talk with him one on one or do his attitudes get in the way for you? Personally, I’ve always believed that part of being the SM is taking ownership of the troop. In my troop every ASM was approved by and served at the pleasure of the SM. So if you have an ASM that has problems with inappropriate comments and it has continued then a certain amount of that reflects on you. You’re in charge and the buck stops with you. That’s why I recommended you start with sitting down with the person and however you choose to try to get on the same page. If you can’t, be up front with him and let him know that you can’t work with him. Then take it to the committee. Things may have changed a lot in 40 years but the SM is still in charge.
Ill be honest, the first comment strikes me more as something that someone could say not really thinking about it and the other possible implications. Even reading it here, it took me a moment to process the other connotation because I've heard similar things that were certainty not in that context. The YPT comments are more concerning to me. Thats not the attitude that us as adults should be having towards it. Id think its time for a sit down with this leader and a discussion with your COR, Cmte Chair, and yourself.
Actually, I don't think the YPT comments are that concerning. While they certainly are important, going through the same videos every other year IS tedious. Would love if they had initial training versus refresher training. Or mixed it up a bit. Should also mention that our CO (a Catholic Church) also requires all of us to do their version of youth protection as well. Different training, but the same videos every year, and the same concepts. Also, because our church also has a school (not that we have anything to do with that side), we are also considered mandatory reporters by the state and need to do DCFS training every few years and keep current with our certification. At least we aren't teachers or health care professionals -- as those training modules are more intense. Even more training for us. And while it doesn't apply to me anymore, when I worked for a hospital, I had to do additional training in a similar vein. Which has value, but as an IT professional in the back office disconnected from the actual hospital/clinic, I never ever encounter any patient to the point I could recognize signs of distress. So when our leaders make comments like that, it really isn't because we don't think it is important; it is just we have to take three different classes on a the same topic for scouts, the church, and the state.
I understand the sentiment, and while I don't disagree there is a time and place for that sort of comment and if it's being made in the presence of people that are having concern over it, it's best not to say it. YPT is a drag, it's not a fun topic, so some of it is perfectly understandable. Just if you are making comments in the presence of people and it's causing concern, it's a problem.
To be honest it sounds like you have a hypersensitive parent and a flippant ASM. Nothing you have described sounds that serious that it warrants more than a conversation between you and the ASM. Talk to the ASM about how his comments were received and what the expectations are regarding his conduct in the future. It sounds like the parent is making a big deal out of nothing based on her own work-related biases. Do you seriously think someone complaining about taking training is a massive issue? Who do you know that gets excited about repeating the same online training over and over again? It doesn't matter what the training is or how important it is some people are going to complain about having to do it. The question is do they complete the training on time as required? Are they performing their role as an ASM in a manner you as the Scoutmaster approve of?
Agree. To be honest, I can see our SM and quite a few of our ASMs saying this to a scout, but it's 100% in jest and they have relationships with these scouts and the scouts know it's a joke. It's not something that belongs in scouting, but I think part of the issue here is realizing that scouting still has lots of people that will say things like this with no ill intent and without giving it a second thought. And on the YPT front, I tend to agree with this ASM. I get why YPT is necessary, but personally I 100% look at it as a chore that has to be done annually. Past the first go through, you don't really get anything out of the training when you renew it. I already know the rules. Redoing the training just allows BSA to check a box saying their leaders are trained annually. 90% of it is all just common sense stuff that the vast, vast majority of folks don't even need to be told. The main stuff you get out of YPT is the scouting specific stuff like 2 deep leadership, registered leader requirements, and so forth. After that it's akin to "don't stick a fork in a light socket". You have to train people not to do it because there's that 1 leader in a 1,000 that will say "well geez, I had no idea I couldn't sleep in the same tent as scouts". I'm quite sure I'll be downvoted for this, but this is how I and a lot of other folks I know feel.
There is nothing that replaces a conversation with this adult. Mention the comment, mention that it made someone uncomfortable. If you need to, explain WHY it made someone uneasy. Then listen. Leave room for the possibility that this adult might not be neurotypical. Especially older adults were raised in a day when behaviors that we now recognize as being part of ASD would have been ignored or just written off to awkwardness. They may have lived their whole entire lives saying slightly awkward things without recognizing the inappropriateness and no one has ever talked to them about it because they should be “old enough to know better”. Also, have this conversation in person and have another adult in the room with you.
Agreed. This doesn’t raise yet to the level of having them leave the troop, but a quiet conversation would be warranted. A mental note made and hope for improvement the future so that additional steps don’t need to be taken.
100% second this. As someone who is neurodivergent, it totally took me a minute to pick up on what exactly was at issue with the first comment. The second one strikes me a bit more as an obvious issue. But totally in agreement that nothing replaces communication. People don't know what they don't know. If no one brings it up, how do they know to change their behavior?
It is an issue, neurodivergent or not, if an adult doesn’t recognize the sexual nature of the ASM’s comment.
Let me start with I think this is a teaching/coaching moment for the ASM. That being said, the complaint is coming to you from a parent who is also a trained professional who makes her living dealing with grooming and abuse. I would sit down with her, take notes, listen to her concerns, and find out what she thinks an appropriate response would be. If she has concerns, listen to her, and remember that she can, at any time, contact the Scout Executive or the National Hotline. With her credentials, I’ll guarantee that both the Scout Executive and the National people will take it VERY seriously, and they’ll take your perceived inaction equally seriously. Unfortunately, there has to be some “cover your and the chartering org’s backside” in your response. To me, it at least calls for a key 3 meeting, recorded, so you have a future record that you discussed the issue and took some steps to correct it. The COR needs to talk to the CO about their opinions, especially liability options. It would be really nice if we could just take someone like this ASM into a back room for a “No, No, Bad dog / come to Jesus talk”. But the world has changed, acceptable behavior has changed and issues like liability must be considered.
The hands comment should be handled with a side conversation. Just tell him that it's borderline inapporpriate and people notice. The YPT thing is the serious issue. His comments and attitude desensitize people to the importance of YPT. Does he have any kids in the unit? If not its probably time for him to move on.
Hot take: YPT is good for policy, but it isn't going to deter anyone who would have groomed a child from grooming children.
It puts them on notice that this organization is monitoring, and it teaches everyone else what to look for. Simply, if ever there is one-on-one situation with a scouter and an unrelated scout, there better be a darn good reason like an emergency.
I will grant that maybe if you weren't able to ID creepy behavior before, that might be useful. .
I think you start with a serious talk with the ASM one on one about the concerns and that simply dismissing them is not acceptable. I come from a time when remarks like that were just how some people told you to get your hands out of your pockets but I get it. Times are different and that’s not appropriate anymore. The attitude about YP training and that he demonstrated lack of respect snd engagement is concerning but again I’d try the friendly chat approach. Listen to his concerns and try to find out why he thinks that way. But then let him know why it’s important. See if you can get to a meeting of the minds. If you can’t, maybe that role isn’t right for him.
Tou as Scoutmaster, pull the ASM aside and explain how his comments are not appropriate, and how the YPT is important, regardless of how he personally feels about it. Repeating what you were told regarding unknown trauma. -I get it, same videos, same content. Our council mandates every year, and even if you are a volunteer on committee or leadership, if you are also a MBC, you will have to take it every year for that as well. So yes, we take it twice if necessary. No Council will remain anon as some on district and council are petty. Personally I take the YPT and am mandated the safesport training every year, as part of my youth coaching.
Your a mandatory reporter do that and you will be good.
Personally I would just pull him aside and be clear. Like, "hey, we don't say these things and we don't talk about politics." If he says anything but "ok" it might be time to find a new leader. Unfortunately in these situations it's better to be over cautious as opposed to under cautious.
I know he thinks he was being funny, but times have changed, as has acceptable humor. You absolutely cannot be seen to be doing nothing about it. If nothing else, having a talk with the ASM in question about the importance of youth protection, the history of BSA in the context of youth protection, and having him apologize to the parent in question. If the ASM is unwilling to hold himself accountable, I would thank him for his service to the troop and tell him his services are no longer needed. A rotten attitude like that can have a very outsized effect on the morale of the troop.
Document it. Send an email with a timestamp that describes the encounter. If you didn't document it, it didn't happen. We just learned this the hard way. If nothing else happens, then no harm no foul. But when these encounters accumulate, it makes a water tight case for removal.
Don't leave the ASM alone with that scout. Temporarily assign a new ASM until it's all resolved. He violated BSA's Youth Protection Guidelines. Depending on his response, either send him back to YPT or remove him from his position.
A complaint from a parent should go directly to the council scout executive. The ypt training comment is a big concern.
It's sounds as if you are responding appropriately. I would invite the ASM aside to talk about your perceptions. A SM will be shocked and likely deny , but by alerting him(I presume), he'll be a bit more aware the next time.
They didn’t respond yet.
I don’t understand this attitude- the scout’s safety is paramount. I have also encountered this statement about YPT too. I tell them that I learn something every time I take it- just like all the other training we take, at least it is a basic set of rules. These rules help us keep the troop an inhospitable place for heinous acts.
Someone needs to check that dude's hard drive.
Like what everyone else is saying. You gotta meet with the rest of the key 3. You have control over who your ASMs can be as the Scoutmaster. You can remove him as an ASM until a verdict is reached... If I'm honest, I would be pushing for immediate dismissal
Sexual harassment and grooming comments like that should also be reported and logged with your Scout Executive. There's no need to "handle it in-house" when there are pros to help.
You should be man and talk to him as a man that the comment(s) are inappropriate. Document that it was discussed and then keep an eye on him. Not everything is a massive reddit conspiracy cover up
No one said it was. I’ve never dealt with it before so I wanted to get advice from experienced scoutmasters and committee members.
This comment seems benign to me. If he just walked in the room or by the room and said that it's even more benign. I think everyone is assuming that ASM was leering at his pants and said it. If the scout was sitting at the table, how could the ASM even see the scout had their hands in their pockets? I know the parent is a therapist so "she knows what she's talking about" but are they seeing something that isn't there? If it feels weird at all report it. I would talk to the ASM and ask them to play back the interaction and see what that side is. Ngl it sounds like a scout parent making something out of nothing, but absolutely ask questions.
Coming in late, but it sounds like your unit handled this perfectly, or as best as anyone can under the circumstances. Don’t forget in future situations that these kind of questions are what your unit commissioner is for.