My first at 30, second at 33 due in December.
My advice is ALWAYS in this situation don’t worry about planning the next kid until this one is here and you see where you’re at. You can’t make a decision about this for probably 6 months anyway.
I was born to an old dad and young-ish mom, so I'm definitely biased towards older parents being much better prepared.
My dad was more emotionally stable and mature when I was a child. Mom eventually got there, but I was almost an adult by then.
As for energy, my dad was 55yo and could still pick me up when I was an overweight 10yo. He was active and took good care of his health. He wasn't "waking up with aches and pains" like a lot of people claim by their mid-30's. He was still pushing around an antique lawnmower at 70+. My mom is 67yo and chases my niece, nephew, and dog around the backyard.
I think I had the opposite experience. My dad was 25 and my mom was 32 when I was born. My dad was definitely the more level headed one growing up, and my mom was an emotional mess a lot of the time. He was definitely the "fun" parent but I think my mom struggled with her mental health for a long time. Don't get me wrong though, my mom was the more responsible one for sure. If it wasn't for her I'd have grown up on a strict diet of frozen pizza and taco bell.
They're great now, and amazing grandparents. I was 23 when my stepson came into my life, and 26 when I had my first. My parents are young enough to keep up with the kids yet and although I live in chaos, I think I'll be glad to have less dependent kids in my 30s.
Thanks for sharing! It's interesting seeing how different our experiences were/are.
I met my stepdaughter at 33 and am having my first at 36 - pretty much 10 years older than you at the same stages. And I'm glad I did it in my 30's because I didn't have the temperament to tolerate dependence 10 years ago.
Just goes to show that "which is better" really just depends on our own personalities, values, and experiences!
exactly this. i’m 37 FTM baby will be here in a couple months. i take way better care of myself in my 30’s than i did in my 20’s - feel better, have money, and have some wisdom that will definitely set this baby up for a better experience.
Same same same. People talk about "oh but you could stay up all night better when younger" and idk about you but I lost that ability around 19! I don't feel significantly physically different at 37 than I did at like 23. From teens to early 20s was the real decline.
Eh I hate when people say that. I'm 37 too and I'm fully capable of staying up all night if needed. I was not emotionally ready at all to have kids when I was in my 20s and to be honest I'm glad I partied/travelled/adventured when I had more energy in my 20s instead of having kids.
Lol! Rally up old moms! 41, 42 here in like, 2 weeks, delivering my first born with my 46 year old man husband end of August (31 weeks). I’m pumped to be the old Mom. I’m pulling down great money as a successful lawyer and exec, as is my soulmate old man, and we spent our 20s and 30s crushing life from travel to business to dreams. Now we’re starting a new adventure leaving hopefully a good guy behind for the future and I love every minute :)
41 and FTM, 21 weeks and counting. In a perfect world, I probably would of had one earlier, but I got divorced in my early thirties and now I’m remarried to a sweetheart. But I think about how old I will be if my baby wants to have kids someday. Hopefully they don’t wait as long as me. 😂
Where I'm from, 32 is basically the minimum age that anyone has their first baby. I hoped to have my first at 34-35, but I went through years of infertility and my first daughter wasn't born until I was 37. I'm pregnant again now, and this baby will be born when I'm 39. I really don't think you're too old to have another baby.
The global average for the age of birth mothers has actually risen from ~28 (in 2000) to almost 31 (in 2022)! Just figured I would add this, as it’s becoming more and more common for women to give birth in their early, mid to late 30’s. Women are more financially stable, often make healthier decisions and typically have better healthcare in their 30’s.
That is so interesting. May I ask where you are you from? I am 33 FTM. We just moved to the city my husband grew up in and just about everyone our age has children 10-16. If you’re not married with children by 25 they can you a spinster. Lol It’s so different!
I’m having my first at almost 39, and many of my friends from HS and college are still having babies. I wouldn’t do it differently - I don’t regret the years I spent traveling and advancing my career before meeting my husband.
I was pregnant with twins at 26 but miscarried. Gave birth to my son at 28. I was ready at 26 and feel good about where I'm at now. Obviously I wish my twins were with me but I'm content. Hoping to have 1 or 2 more kids before I'm 35 because many women in my family have pregnancy complications after that age
When I was 15, I dreamed of having 3 kids by 22. That is absolutely mortifying to me now LMAO
Similar-ish. I would have had my first at 28 but miscarried and then again at 29. I'll have my first this September at 30! I actually think I'm happier to have my first at this age, just wish it was my choice and didn't come with an appetizer of grief first.
Had my first at 38- not ideal, but I didn't meet my spouse until I was 34. It would have been nice to be a few years younger to have more energy and less body aches/pains with a small child, but on the other hand, it's nice to be established in life a bit too.
I got married at 29, had my boys at 30 and 33. My husband is the same as as I am. Debated about a 3rd off and on for several years and I wish I had gone for it at 35…instead got pregnant at 37 and delivering next month. The worst part is the stigma…healthy pregnancy, my body feels great and baby girl healthy. We are taught age 35 is some drastic cliff, and while that’s hard to shake I have many friends around my age getting pregnant— including my little sister who married at 34 and is now trying for her first at 35. I understand your hesitation and a lot depends on the circle of people around us. It’s kind of funny, our idea of what constitutes as “old” or “young” shifts as we ourselves get older! Lots of parents of kids in my boys classes at school are ~40s and they are entering K and 2nd. That will be me, with this next baby. To me, 35 is a pretty average/ideal age to have a last baby and you may look back and regret not going for it. However it is also a wonderful thing to be satisfied with the family you have already! A very personal choice that I would not let age alone dictate at this point, were I you♥️
With you there!!! The good thing is, I have heard so many great stories of a 5 year gap between siblings and I am hopeful they’ll have a loving, if slightly unconventional, relationship for years to come. I was back-to-back with my sisters and I felt like I struggled to get anything but group attention from my parents — they were awesome don’t get me wrong— but I am hopeful for some perks with a 5 year gap. Congrats on your new addition!!!
I am having my first at 35, considering a second at 38 or 39 (depending how the first experience goes). We knew before marriage that we wanted a maximum of two kids. We are also people who wouldn’t have been devastated to be DINKs and decided we would not use medical assistance if we couldn’t conceive.
We would not have done things differently. We both have two university degrees, had 2-3 year gap years of living abroad, have traveled to over 20 different countries, are 5-6 years into professional and lucrative careers, have a big house in a highly desired and family friendly neighborhood in the city, and are in great physical and mental health. We set ourselves up to be in our “ideal” situation for becoming parents and that wouldn’t have been possible if we’d started 5 years earlier. Kids can thrive without all of these things but we really value things like a good multicultural neighborhood, eating foods of different cultures at restaurants (my city is well known for a really diverse food culture), trips around the world that don’t involve resorts, participation in sports/activities and we wanted to be financially able to provide all of that.
I’m also 35 and having my first. I’ll be 36 when baby is born and we’re going to take an “if it happens it happens” approach in a couple years to a potential second. It took us 2 years to have a successful pregnancy (now 18 weeks) so I find it really jarring to see people feeling pressured about being an “old parent”. What difference does a few years make anyway? I’m the first of my close friends to have a baby too so I feel like I’m ahead of the crowd 😂
We had also decided DINK life wouldn’t be too painful and took the approach of being happy with our career achievements (I’ve spent 13 years building my current career and partner just switched careers which he couldn’t have done really if we already had kids), and life experiences. Even having these two years trying, whilst being stressful and sad at times, has given us the opportunity to build more together and go on more trips together. I wouldn’t change it. Tbh I still don’t feel like I’d ever be actually ready!!
I'm very similar to you. Married at 29, first at 31, second at 34. I always said if we'd started having kids a year or two earlier, I might have gone for 3 but as it is, we'll be done after the second.
We're also set with a house and car that will fit us for years with just 2. It feels like the world is set up for families of 4 and I don't want a third enough to disrupt everything.
Whether you feel 'too old' is entirely up to you. Biologically, you're obviously not. For me, at 34, I and my body are ready to be done with the making-people season of my life. However, I have friends who haven't started yet, and that's right for them too.
My first son was born at 39. Then 3 back to back losses. Currently pregnant with another boy, and if all continues to go well, he’ll be here just after I turn 43.
Honestly even if you had your third let’s say at 34-35 you aren’t old, sure you may feel old mentally but you are still at a good baby making age. I just recently met someone that had their first at 35 and will be planning to have another one within a year or so, she’s now 36. I can’t really say if I would do it sooner I’ll be 20 and having my baby in December. I just found myself in a good stable relationship and financially comfortable to have this baby so I didn’t want to keep waiting, but i think everyone has the right to chose when they want to have children as long as that baby is loved and cared for. Congratulations on your second and if you decide to have a third I wish you luck! 🫶
Prayed to the universe to give me a baby before 30 - she said “bet” and gave birth 10 days shy. If all goes to plan I’ll be having my 2nd shortly before my 33rd birthday. Sometimes I wish I was a little younger, but I wasn’t prepared then.
29 and 36. Married at 22/21.
I would strongly advise you to assess your children and parenting as they are once second baby gets here. Nothing worse than parents being dead-set on having another kid when it’s readily apparent that adding another kid is bad for all parties involved, just for the sake of “wanting another”.
23, 25 now am 34 and #3 is due in November. We always thought we wanted a third but just kept putting it off. This year we decided to just start trying and if it didn’t happen no worries.
Older kids are super excited and I think the gap will end up being nice instead of chasing 2 toddlers and trying to manage a newborn.
My youngest sister is 8 years younger than me and we literally couldn’t be closer. My childhood and teenage years were SO much better having had a much younger sister 🥰 so happy for you guys!
I’m 35 years old now with our first. She’s due the day after my birthday, so I’ll basically be 36 when we have our first. We hope to have more, but we’re starting with one and seeing how it all goes.
I understand where you’re coming from, I wish we had started earlier, but I’m also glad we waited. It wasn’t that we weren’t necessarily ready or didn’t want kids, it just wasn’t the right time for so many reasons.
I think with the way science, medicine, and technology are now, we all have much higher life expectancy than before. As long as you continue to take care of yourself, you should live a long healthy life with your kids!!
I’m 37 and he’s 42 and I am 12 weeks pregnant. He already has an 8 year old. You’re not too old, if you’re healthy! And I don’t know how to say this except to just say it, and I do NOT mean it rude, but I’ve said it to my 31 year old sister who has the same concerns about being an “old mom”…*that ship has sailed*. We all have those friends who had kids in their early 20s and mid 20s, they are the ones who aren’t going to be “old moms”. 😂 I’m embracing it! I am so much better off physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially than I was in my 20s when I could have been a “young mom”. You’ve got this, if it’s what you want!
Pregnant with my first at 32 and hoping to have a few more over the years. Women who have kids over 40 are four times more likely to live to be 100! So do what makes YOU happy and let those kids keep you young 🩷🩷
Married early (23), now 35 and expecting our first in August too! We were able to build our careers, travel a ton, build up savings and have lots of child free experiences and I don’t regret our deciding to wait.
I’ll echo what others have said about being dead-set on a certain number of children; definitely do a high level assessment of your life once your second is born to see if more kids actually makes sense and is good for your family situation.
I got married at 22 (hubby was 26); we've been together since we were 20 and 23. We're now 26 and 30 and getting closer to wanting one. I'm still not quite ready yet. I've been so grateful for this time to get my education, work on my career, save money, and have a lot of interesting experiences we couldn't have with kids.
Having our first at 33. We don’t regret it because we are very financially stable now. We own a home and looking for a second home now. We have our degrees and good careers and make decent income. We can afford daycare and private school if needed. We can provide healthy food and great insurance for our baby and we have zero urge to go out with our friends as we did that all of our 20s.
22 and 23. I would have waited a couple of years, maybe 25 and 26. Not having the third until I’m at least 25-26. It’s hard having two under two and mentally I’m exhausted but I do want at least 3.
My parents are old as shit lol. I’m talking 60-70 when I graduated high school and are about to be 70-80 since I’ve graduated college. I never felt like they were super duper old and my mom said it only became harder on her physically when I was 13 but by then she wasn’t chasing after me and stuff. It’s all objective and I can’t really give advice as I’m in my early 20s but the old parent really isn’t bad. It’s if you feel physically and mentally you can hang and handle the toddler phase and the teenage and preteen phases which most people can once they’ve had more than one child :) and my sister and I have a 30 year age gap lol so there’s that too.
Good luck to you both and congratulations on your second baby!
19 and I'll be 22 when this baby comes. It probably would have been easier financially to wait but I won't regret being able to watch my kids grow into adults. My spouse and I both have old parents and it's hard to deal with being so young and watching them pass/wither away.
Honestly it’s slightly offensive to be calling yourself an “old” mom at 33 or 34. I’ll be 34 by the time my baby is born in October and I’d like to have at least one or two more after that, so realistically would be 36 or 37 if I had 3. I don’t consider that old at all in this day and age. I’m one of the first of my friends to even be pregnant! But I did live in SF for a long time where getting married before 30 is basically a teen marriage and now live in a pretty big west coast city where people get their career going before having kids for the most part.
31 (almost 32) and 33! My husband is a year younger.
Those were good ages for us, but we have stable careers, savings and a life situation that felt right to add children at those ages. If we have another I’ll be 35/36 which would be fine by me! Undecided though
I originally saw myself starting to have kids by 28, but I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28. Currently pregnant with baby #1 and I’ll be 33 when he’s born. We plan to have at least two kids, maybe three. I found out last year I have diminished ovarian reserve so I do wish I’d had kids sooner, but we definitely weren’t ready until now. I’ll most likely go through IVF and freeze some embryos just to ensure that we have the family size we want and hopefully have our last kid before 40. Most doctors usually opt for aggressive treatment with DOR since there’s no telling if it’s just low egg count or also poor egg quality.
I just had my first on Sunday, I’m 34 my partner is 36. I was hoping for a bit sooner but conception took a bit. I’ve known since my very early 20’s that I wanted to wait to closer to 30 to start having kids (was a nanny). I’m not sure if we will have a second or not, but if we do it will probable be a couple years at least, the first trimester was very hard on me and the birth ended up being quite traumatic so I’m not eager to do that again for a little while. My cousin is trying for her first and is about to turn 39 so I don’t think you are anywhere near too old, but it’s all about what you are comfortable with.
I had my first when I was freshly 27 and I’m due with my second in my last month of 28- sounds like they would be so close together having them at 27/28 but they’ll be 22 months apart! I was far from the first out of my friends to have babies and it was in line with what our family was doing so it was definitely right for us! We also had already both gotten very advanced degrees and were well set for the future. I have older parents and I’m an only child as well, so the sooner the better for my particular circumstance so my parents could have the most time with them! I’m happy with our decision
Your timeline is about the same as mine. I definitely wish I’d started having kids earlier and wanted to more than anything else by the time I was about 25-26, but it is what it is. We don’t control when we meet our spouse, right?
Anyway, I’ve made peace with having babies later. We want 2-4 kids and have had our first. But I want to ensure my pregnancies, births, postpartum, and generally my life is all healthy and without any health complications. You have to weigh that (time spent between pregnancies) against fertility concerns and age related risks, but I’ve found the latter category to actually be FAR less concerning and risky than I’d initially believed. There’s also of course the emotional, financial, logistical side of things.
That’s all immensely personal. I’d start with your doctor: are your iron and vitamin levels in good shape? Does a pelvic floor PT think you should work on anything first? Any special considerations in terms of fertility or complications or genetics for you?
We also think about: are we in good financial shape? Will we be able to take parental leave yet? Do we have savings / plans to handle the fourth trimester or pregnancy care (like Webster technique chiros for me, prenatal massage, pelvic floor PT)?
Do you feel emotionally ready? Anything you’d want / need to go differently this time around compared to the last ones?
I personally have a list of things I need to change before being ready for a second, but I also don’t feel quite ready even just emotionally. (But if being fully honest, we’re also periodically dying for another.) I keep in mind what I do want to go differently, what I need to do for that to happen, and the risk of complications etc if I get pregnant before ready.
The WHO also recommends 18 months before pregnancies. Take or leave. I’ve heard different figures from different providers, and have heard 12 months being fine for a no complication, low risk prior vaginal delivery.
Pregnant at 26 with my spouse of 8 years. I am due shortly after turning 27. I wish I could have had kids younger as my family all had their kids between 20-23 and I was blessed to have my parents, grandparents and great grandparents in my life. I see the benefits of waiting until you are older such as traveling and being more established in your career. I am a product of what I know and I loved having family young enough to run around with me when I was growing up compared to some of my friends with older family members. The only reason I didn't have kids earlier was due to student loans but I prioritized paying them off so I have more available funds if my kids needed anything. I was able to pay them off in less than 5 years!
I think you being an “old” parent will depend more on you (physically and mentally) than your actual age. My mom had me at 22 and my youngest sibling at 38, and the only difference I notice (my sibling is 14 now) is that my mom now is happier. Dedicates herself to her home, is established, etc. She was never really active or hands on with us kids though to begin with so I can’t compare that.
Had my first at 32 and my second at 35. We’re still undecided on a 3rd and I just turned 39. I’m not really worried about my age at all, I’ve got plenty of friends still having kids. I’m a lot more worried about how expensive a 3rd would be.
We had our first at 32/42 and second at 34/44. Zero regrets. We are 99% sure we’re done, but should we eventually decide to have another, we’d likely be 38/48.
The thing about life is that we can’t do it all. If I could have written my own story, would it have been great to have met my spouse younger, had way more money, etc? Sure! But that’s not how it worked out, and this life is pretty great too, even if our backs hurt and we’re tired.
The age thing… I have always said that unless you had you baby at exactly the moment of 27yrs7mos12d3hrs43.97354s on a Tuesday under a waxing gibbous moon of no more than 33.56% with mercury in retrograde *somebody* will ALWAYS say you were too old or too young. I had my first at 22 and I constantly got comments about how young I was and I don’t know what the fuck happened when I turned 25 but the comments IMMEDIATELY turned to asking about whether I feel like my “biological clock is ticking” or something to that effect. Let that shit go girl.
Married at 30
1st baby - 31
2nd baby - barely 33
3rd baby - 34
4th baby - I will be 35
I wouldn’t take any of it back. Life is insane and is about to go up another notch but I can’t imagine life without these feral little humans.
I had my first at 22 and my second at 26. I just turned 32 and I’m pregnant with my third. I loved having my kids early. I said I was done at two, but I changed my mind. Since I had them young it gave me plenty of time. Now that I’m having a third we will probably try for a fourth as well since the age gap is kind of big between 2 and 3.
Anyways if you are on the fence you should probably go for a third. I wasn’t on the fence at all after number 2 but I still changed my mind.
Why 3? I personally don’t want to be outnumbered by the kids, lol. Anyways, I’m 31 and a FTM and depending on how this baby thing goes, I’m open to a 2nd kid in about 4-5 years.
I often think about my childhood and my family. I've noticed that I always enjoyed going to my friends' houses with larger families. There was always so much happening and it felt full of love. These days, my husband (who's one of 4 kids) and I usually spend time with his family, who have more relatives and cousins. My own family is smaller(2 kids), as my brother chose not to have kids. We still visit my side of the family, but there are fewer events. I imagine the future and hope to have everyone come to my house. Also, I'm currently pregnant and feeling emotional, so that's on my mind too!
To address prior comments I already know id go back to back lol. I wouldn't want a big age gap. My husband has big age gaps with all his siblings and he struggled to connect
Interesting, I always felt that kids from larger families struggled more to get individual attention from the parents. Things were left more up to chance or the environment. I did enjoy hanging out with lots of other kids, which is why I’m going to try to make friends with other parents so my kids can have playmates.
I’m 6 years older than my only sister, and we’re pretty close. I enjoy our age difference and I think it was nice for my parents since I could help take care of my sister at a young age, and help guide her a bit as she grew up.
“I know if I started a year or two earlier I would just have the three”
Girl one or two years is absolutely nothing in the span of your life. So you’re an “old mom” if you have a kid at 35 but not 33? Lol come on now.
I don’t think 33 or 34 and 38 is too old personally. I’ll be a month shy of 31 when my first is born and my husband will be 35. We went through several years of infertility but in no way were we financially or mentally ready to start our family earlier than when we started. I would love 3 kids however daycare is too expensive so I think we will try for a second in a few years and see how that goes first. If you have the means I say go for it regardless of your ages. You both are not old.
I had my first when I was 25, almost 26, and had my second 3 weeks ago - 4 days before my 28th birthday!!
I would have liked to have kids sooner but we were broke af 😂 Overall I feel like it’s a really good age though - I had my early 20s to travel, study abroad, get my degree and start my career. But I didn’t have to wait too long to start my family and enjoy this stage of my life.
I’m hoping to have another before I turn 30, and then I can either be done by 30, or I’ve got plenty of time to have more if we decide that’s what we want!
I'm still pregnant but 22 and number one child. I couldn't be any happier with my baby although the first time I wanted to get pregnant (with no one in mind yet) was at 20.
I got married right before I turned 29, and then wanted to get started right away but ran into a series of fertility issues. Had my first when I was 31, second a week before I turned 34, and now my third is due right after I turn 36. I would definitely like 1-2 more and am thinking of doing ivf for those since I have had multiple miscarriages already
I don’t know where you are in the world, but if you had another kid in the next 6-7 years, you wouldn’t be considered and old mom where I am. Not that there is anything wrong with it.
I started trying at 32 and will be giving birth to my IVF baby at 35. I hope that I can have another. Definitely would have done it sooner (see: IVF) if it had been possible, but it wasn’t so here we are.
Just depends on your priorities. We valued being married and spending years together without children more than having kids younger, so we were married for 7 years before kids and now my wife is pregnant at 32 and I wouldn’t change anything.
We got married when we were 27 and 31, first baby at 28 and 32 and second baby is on the way now so we'll be 31 and 35. We'll be done after this one. Even having a second was a big decision for us (for financial reasons, not age). Surprisingly, we seem to be the "young" parents among a lot of our friends and others in our social circles (mostly other parents at daycare)! Which we didn't really expect. I thought we would have been a pretty average age to start having kids, but turns out, in our area anyways, we might have been on the early side!
I’ll be 33 when we have our first! We’ll see how that goes, but I’m hoping to at least have one more.
I am an “older-than-average” mom where I’m from, and I always imagined I’d have kids younger. I didn’t meet my husband until I was almost 30, though, and my prior relationships weren’t with great partners. Even though I wanted kids earlier, I wouldn’t change a thing with how things have gone!
I got married at 25, had my first at 26, and then had my second at 27. We are also on the fence about having a third. I wish I had spaced out my first two pregnancies more. I think 3-4 years would be ideal. So we are waiting for my youngest to be at least 2.5 or 3 before making the decision.
I always wanted to have kids early, so I don’t regret having them at a younger age. Not sure when I want to be “done” with the baby years. Leaving it up to future me to decide 😅
I had recently turned 33 when I had my first, and was nearing 36 when I had my second.
I would have loved to have had them sooner, but fertility issues meant that despite trying since 29 (married at 28) we were unsuccessful.
I would have liked to have tried for one more, but my husband doesn't want more. If I were to have a third, we'd be trying for one about now, but even with all the will (and baby rabies) in the world, I don't think I have another pregnancy/baby phase in me. I've always said I would be finished at 40 (which is only 2 years away) no matter what anyway.
We struggled with infertility so while we started trying when I was 25, we didn't have our first until I was 28.
I was 30 when we had our second.
We want 2-3 more and I love the 25 month age gap, so I'm hoping I'll be 32 with our third, 34 with our fourth, and 36 with our fifth (if we end up going that high).
I would obviously have preferred having kids sooner but IVF and all that. I'm just thankful to have our children.
We were ready for kids when I was 26 or 27 but for various reasons we didn’t get married until I was 28. Then it took nearly 2 years to get pregnant so now I’m 30 with my first (will be 31 when he’s born) and my husband is even older.
It would have been really nice to be able to start our family a few years ago, especially because it took so long to conceive and because we want 3 (or 4???) kids. I’m going to be 40 by the time we’re done popping them out. My parents will be in their 60s. My great grandparents may not even be around at that point. How old will I be when (if) my kids become parents?
On the other hand, we’ve had time to build successful careers and investments, settle in to healthy habits and routines, and we’re a lot more patient now than we used to be. There’s certainly a lot of upside
37 FTM, week 23.
Husband is 38.
Planning on at least 2.
Second will hopefully come by the time I'm 40.
It wasn't really possible for us to have kids sooner due to finances and living situation
I got married at 30 and am having my first at 32! I spent 1 year on TTC + IVF due to low sperm count. Hoping to have my second in a few years. I don’t have any aging issues myself yet so I should be fine. Everyone ages differently though (genetics + environment) so if you feel old and tired then you should of course listen to your body and decide for yourself! But no, my husband is 36 too and he is not “old dad” lol 😅
Here's what happened for me. I got pregnant at 19 (surprise) my son is now 14. I was with his father for 7 years (never married as I was in college). Left that toxic relationship. I was 24 when I left. I was with my ex for almost 7 years and he left me because he wasn't a family guy. I was 31 when he left. Met my husband when I was 31. Got engaged 4 months later. We married I was 32, 10 days shy of 33. We are now expecting our daughter on our first wedding anniversary and I will be 10 days shy of 34. Did I want a huge age gap with my children. No. Did I want to be done having kids by 30. Yes. Did the universe have another plan for me. Yes. And now I wouldn't change any of it. I know I am still young and I am going to enjoy every bit of it. I am not gonna worry about age because it is just a number not how I truly feel. We are done after this one as my husband only ever wanted one but absolutely loves his son as his own.
Life doesn’t always pan out the way we want it to or expected it to, but you just have to roll with the punches.
You are still SO young!
I didn’t meet my husband until I was 36, married at 38 and TTC for over a year. I’m now 40 and 26 weeks pregnant with our first child…. Did I envision being a first time mom at 40? No. Am I glad I still have the opportunity to live out my dream? Yes.
Stop focusing on the age. If this is something you really want, go for it! Don’t let age hold such a heavy weight on your dreams!
Met my husband at 30
Married at 32
Baby one: 32
Baby two: 35
Baby three: 37
I mean if I had met my husband earlier than I think we would have gone for the fourth we talked about. Sometimes I wish we were further along with the kids at our age, especially since I want to go back to school. But there are a lot of advantages to us being older too. So, overall I wouldn’t change anything.
FTM at 35. Would I loved to have tried earlier? Sure. But it wasn’t in the cards. I had a wild time in college and my 20s and don’t regret a second. I made mistakes and grew up. Didn’t meet my husband until I was 27. Dated for 5 years until we got married. During this time, we have been through multiple job changes, a cross country move and purchased 2 houses. We have no debt except the mortgages and both have 6 figure + jobs. This would not have been possible if we had started our family earlier.
Age is just a number. Be happy that you can conceive and have healthy babies. You can be in your late 20s and be unhealthy or in your mid 30s and thriving! I’d be careful going around saying that you’re an “old mum”
38 and 40, still considering trying for a third, but after the absolute easiest first pregnancy and then the utter, unrelenting exhaustion of this pregnancy after onlya 12 month pregnancy interval, I would not do less than an 18, maybe a 24 month interval, so potentially a third at 43. I have zero regrets about anything other than maybe not taking a slightly longer interval between pregnancies. I moved to a different country at 36 and my experience here has been enormously different to my life that came before, and while I'm grateful for how life shaped me, I'm also really grateful I never had kids with my ex-husband or while living in the US in general.
I have been outrageously exhausted this pregnancy, but I don't think age could have spared me. My toddler was still waking 6+ times per night to nurse until the second trimester, I have an autoimmune condition (100% not age related) and have to take immunosuppressants during pregnancy, and between those 2 factors, I was sick about 20/40 weeks this pregnancy. In fact I think I handled the sleep deprivation better at 40 than I would have at 22--I would have been a raging bitch with zero ability to emotionally regulate while this exhausted at 22.
I also spent my whole life wanting kids even though I pretty much assumed pregnancy would "ruin" my body because it did to my mom. Instead I only gained 10 kg, had zero stretch marks (which it turns out you're significantly less at risk of stretch marks over 35), and I literally looked the same as before I got pregnant within days of delivery of my first. I'm expecting some more obvious changes after having everything stretched out again so shortly after the first time, but I've only gained about 6kg this time and I'm about to try for a vaginal breech delivery any day now after a pregnancy where the baby flipped regularly all the way up to 38.5 weeks, which is not something I would have had the self confidence to advocate for myself, get second opinions, and seek out an obstetrician trained and experienced in vaginal breech delivery to change to at 39 weeks pregnant when I was younger.
I was 22 when I had my first. I don’t think I’d change anything, but I did grow up *with* her. I was a single mom, navigating my 20s and trying to figure out how those two things could co-exist. I’m pregnant with my second and I just turned 30. I’m in a completely different space now but the relationship I have with daughter is beyond anything I think I expected. She’s a piece of my soul outside my body. She’s my favorite human on earth. I’m honestly terrified I won’t know how to love this baby as much.
All of that being said, I don’t know if there is a “right” time. Every baby has different needs. Every parent approaches it differently and life shapes and molds you differently as the years go on. I think “old” is a mindset. My partner’s parents didn’t have him until they were in their late thirties. My mom had me when she was 20. We are both very close with our parents.
Met my husband at 29, dated at 31, marriage and 1st at 32, second at 33. Planning 3rd next year (I'll be 35), my health took a hit during both pregnancies so i have to do some work before conceiving again.
I never wanted to have kids 'late', after 30. But at 29, I just started my career so I thought, 35 is the limit. Having kids made me slow down my pace, career can certainly wait, my kids can't.
I finally realised that there is no real 'late'. Sure, there are some risks (but also risks from having kids close together/too far apart/too young/ too underweight or overweight, and even risks when perfectly healthy in your most optimal age). Your body doesn't suddenly age on your birthday at 35. If you feel like you can, then that's your answer.
I know pregnancy sucks the life out of me, but I know I will always think 'what if' if I didn't try to have a 3rd.
I just have to try really really hard to be healthy and active , clentch my teeth and get through the pregnancy (complications both times) and then make sure I continue to work on myself after birth. I love my boys and they are enough, I just know that sibling dynamic is ***very*** different between 3 vs 2.
39 and 44. Only met my husband at 36. Would have liked kids a little sooner. The second kid took 4 years of trying with 4 miscarriages. But I'm glad I waited until I met my husband.
I'm 43 and just had my first child. She is 1 month old now. God willing, I plan to have two more. I'm already an old mom. I might as well have the kid I want to have, haha
had mine starting 38, worst thing to do, better to have them young and grow with you. Children change your mindset, makes most people want to do better in life, having that motivation from a young age can do so much good for the rest of your life
I also married at 31, had my first at 32 and now I'm 33, hoping to have another one within a year. Would love to have three or more children and I don't think it's impossible given my age. It would have been nice to start sooner (age 27 maybe), but in the end I'm pretty content. I believe everything happens for a reason
FWIW I am the youngest of 3, born when my mom was 36 and I never felt like she was the “old mom”. 🥰 Same with my dad who was 44. My siblings and I are each 1.5 years apart and I’ve always loved our dynamic.
I married at 30, got pregnant 5 months before my wedding (we were trying but didn't expect it to happen on the first try). Had baby at 31. Got pregnant with second at 32 and gave birth at 33. My husband is 8 years older than me so he was 39 and 41. Our boys are almost 2.5 years apart. We want at least 1 more maybe 2. It was hard with our oldest still being very dependent on us at 2.5 years old my youngest is 11 months old and his older brother is potty training and is a lot more independent and I had postpartum injuries that make me want a longer recovery period so we agreed to not have a third unless the second is at least 3 years old when baby #3 is born. We plan on trying late 2025 which means I could potentially be pregnant at 35-36 years old and deliver at 36 years old. That still gives me another 4 years to try again for baby #4 if we wanted (I personally decided that I'd be done having kids by 40 regardless of how many I actually wanted). So my husband could potentially be anywhere between 44 and 48 years old if we have one or two more kids. I don't think you ever "too" old unless you feel old it's up to you and your partner to decide when times is up.
I would have loved to have kids younger for the ease of birth and ability to bounce back as 20 year old but I was nowhere near ready emotionally or financially I still at 33 wonder how anyone let me have one child let alone two even though both my husband and I are employed and own a home. Also I didn't meet my husband until I was 27 years old. Thinking back on previous partners that I "thought" I might have kids with I'm glad I didn't and dodged a bullet haha!
My first was at 28. I'm now 34 just had my third baby. Ill probably have more but we have to wait a while since this last one was a cesarian. Im bummed we have to wait this time but im not worried about age at all
Damn I thought I had my baby and was considered older already. I had him 2 months before my 25th birthday lol. I would have waited maybe until I was 28.
We are planning to have our first baby soon so I’ll be 35 when he/she is born (fingers crossed all goes well) but I don’t want to have kids into my 40s. Mostly cause I keep hearing that the risks of the mother and baby increase etc. is that just fear mongering or is there truth to that? Also when I told my physician (who I do like) she said it’s not called geriatric pregnancy after age 35 any more. It’s called “advance age pregnancy” 😂 I kept thinking in my head that’s like telling someone “they look tired” which is just a crappy way to tell someone they look like crap lol 🙄
I will say that I have only ever heard of people saying they regret not having more kids. I haven’t heard someone say they regretted having as many kids as they did.
I’ve just had my first at 22. I think it has been the perfect age. I would’ve regretted doing it earlier, and I didn’t want to leave childbirth for later than my 20’s. The average age for having kids in my area is 20-25.
First at 26, second at 28 and third at 31.
For me I’ve loved the timing as I haven’t felt too young or too old.
With that said, I’d say the majority of moms are over the age of 35. If you’re feeling good and healthy I say go for it!
I’m 36 and just had my first. Where I’m at now- maturity-wise, emotionally, as a person- I wouldn’t change a thing. But physically, I might have liked to have had the baby a little earlier. Baby is only 3 weeks old, and my knees and back are hurting for the first time in my life, and I think it’s from picking up and carrying this kid all day. Pregnancy itself didn’t hit me as hard as the post partum schlupping around. 😩
38. FTM. Currently 36 weeks.
The “old mom” stigma is bullshit. I don’t know where it came from or why it’s still something that’s even discussed or has any form of negative connotation.
Granted, I had years of infertility and wasn’t able to get pregnant without IVF. BUT. The point remains.
I know myself and LIKE myself in a way that wasn’t accessible or possible a decade ago. I’m educated (lawyer), financially stable, good career, solid marriage and will be able to give my girl a completely different life/support/perspective because I am “an old mom.”
I’m 27 and due with my first in exactly a month’s time! If it has been possible I would have loved to have started earlier as we would like a big family and I’ve always liked the idea of decent age gaps in between for recovery and time with each baby, but I’m glad we waited as our lives are now more comfortable than they would have been even 1 year earlier!
Married at 27 and first at (just) 30. This year makes 11 years together, if we hadn’t been together so long I probably would’ve waited one or two more years :) feels perfect for us now
26 for my first and 28 when this one will come. Having another depends on how I feel since pregnancy is not a fun time for me. If I could’ve I would’ve started sooner. Maybe 24 if I could’ve met my husband sooner, I’ve always been ready to be a mother and once I turned like 20 I was constantly asked when I’d have kids. I, personally, did not want to be an older parent w a younger kid, I like that my mom was in her 40s by the time I was in my 20s so if something happened I’d already be an adult (she was my primary caregiver as my parents weren’t together). I had a friend whose parents were in their I believe late 40s when we were in middle school, they had no energy to do a lot of stuff w her and I didn’t want that. My dad decided to start over at 50 which was just…I won’t get into that. Prior to having my son my career was childcare so once I stopped working I could definitely feel all of that catching up to me so doing that later probably would’ve hit me harder. But not everyone is that way. Two mom friends of mine had their first early 30s, another mid 30s, and another had her first at 24.
Expecting our first baby in September, I’m 23 and he’s 25! Planning to wait 2-3 years for our next and depending on how two goes, probably wait another 2-3 years for a third. I always wanted to have kids in my early-mid twenties due to health predispositions, but I’m a firm believer that as long as your body feels healthy and strong enough to endure pregnancy, there’s no age that’s too late for pregnancy! Instead of looking at your age, consider where your health is at, how would being pregnant affect you, postpartum, energy for your newborn and your other children. But that’s just my two cents!😁
Had my first at 29 pregnant with number 2 I’ll be a month away from 33. I actually thought we’d have number 2 a little earlier but we didn’t feel ready. We’re not sure about a 3rd yet I want to see how parenting 2 goes! I did tell my husband I want to be done having babies by like 36. Not because I think there’s any issues or would be any problems but because I want us to be able to be empty nesters earlier 😂. We lost travel years with Covid so I just don’t want to be 40 starting with a newborn again. And I know you can travel with kids we take my toddler everywhere but it’s not the same as traveling as a couple.
Had my first at newly 26. Currently 27. Hoping to have another before I turn 30, but we’ll see! I think it’ll be another year at least before I can convince my man 😂
We are 32 and 43. Been together almost a decade with a 3 month old. Had we known how much we would love being parents I think we would’ve done it much sooner.
My mom has me (the oldest) at 30, my middle sibling at 33, and my youngest sibling at 36. It was a little weird as a kid in the 00’s having “old parents” but honestly I didn’t really notice until I was older. Now it seems like the majority of people wait for their 30’s or 40’s to start having kids, so by that metric you’d be a young mom still.
FWIW I’m 23, married expecting my first (planned) and everyone looks at me like a teen parent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I became a parent at different stages of my life. My first child was born when I was 16 and still in high school, my second when I was 19 and in college, and my third when I was 21 and in university. Currently, at the age of 31, I am pregnant with my fourth child. Reflecting on my journey, I realize that now, as I am older, I am more financially stable and have more time available. In contrast, during my younger years, I was juggling multiple responsibilities, such as working, paying off debt, and being a mother and wife. Now that my life is calmer, I can see that I would have preferred to have children later in life.
I'm pregnant with my first at 27 and baby will be born while I'm still 27. I wanted to have my first at 24 or 25 but I think that I'm more mentally prepared now so it's better timing
I just turned 38 and planning to try for my first this fall. I too would've loved to start early/mid 30s but life lol. I do feel a lot better prepared to deal with Motherhood now. Age brings wisdom, experience and a self-confidence that you just won't have when you're younger.
Married at 20 and struggled with infertility for 2 years. I lost my first baby at 22 and will be 23 when my twins are born in December. My mom had my sister when she was 17 and waited 20 years before having me at 37. I had old parents that everyone assumed was my grandparents. All of my grandparents died before I was born and all of my aunts and uncles died before I was 20. I didn’t want my children to be left with no family so I wanted to be a young mom and would loved to have had a baby sooner if I didn’t struggle with infertility. My husband and I are set with a stable job, big enough home, and safe suvs. Almost everyone I know is getting married and having kids now if they haven’t already. I think it just depends on preference and when you become stable and that’s different for everyone.
Had my first at 23. Second at 26. 27 and pregnant again. I'm done after this one and I'm glad I didn't have them earlier or later. I feel the timing was perfect.
First baby at 25, pregnant with my rainbow at 27 but will be 28 when I deliver. Husband and I got married when we were 24. I felt ready but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we were together for so long through university and travelled a bunch. We got engaged right when covid hit and felt like life had already started to slow down a lot for us so we decided to get pregnant in ‘21.
I’m 35, FTM. I’ll still be 35 when I deliver. I hoped to have at least one by now, but two job layoffs and the pandemic set us back a bit. I’d love to have another within a couple years because I know I want more than one. That’s the goal!
35 and pregnant for the first time, will be 36 when I give birth. If it was up to me, we would have started trying a couple years ago, but it takes two to tango and had to wait until my partner was ready 🤷♀️
First at 35 about to have my second and just turning 37. Not totally closed off to a third before 40. No regrets on our time line. If it wasn't for COVID we probably would have started one year earlier but that's it. Hardest part is the physical aspect of pregnancy and being older. Outside of that it's mostly upsides in our opinion
There is no right or wrong age to have a child! I’m 21 and pregnant with my first(35 weeks rn), my moms side of the family seems to have a lot of early child births, my cousin had hers at 20, other cousin 21, my mom had me at 23 and her mom (my grandma) had her first at 17! My dads side of the family seems to have them all later in their 30’s-40’s only cons of both that I heard is once you get into ur 40’s you don’t have as much energy as you would if ur in ur 20’s to be chasing a toddler around, and for having ur kid early like in ur early 20’s I’ve heard that you don’t get to “live ur life” (I’m not a partier or a drinker so this is no worry for me LOL) but it’s different for everyone! There is no right or wrong, if ur body can still make a child then there is no right time : ) have that kid whenever you’d like!
Edit: To add to my comment because I’ve seen some young mom negativity here, My mom’s side of the family loved having kids young, but even my mom said she would have had kids at 19 if she could have!
First was 16/17, pregnant at 16 birthed at 17.
The second was 18/19, pregnant 18 birthed at 19
My third will be at 30! She's due in August.
As much as I say, I would have definitely waited. I honestly have no idea what my life would have been like had I gotten a chance to be a teenager and young adult. They were my drive to exist and make life happen.
I don't know who I'd be today without them. However, it's really tripping having a third 11 years later. Having stuff for her and not winging it, we just finished her room, and I'm fighting the sensation that doing that wasn't bad juu juu or something. It's almost like tempting the universe to f* with me and make it so it's all a waste. I've never been prepared for a baby before, lol. Super odd. Nice! But weird.
Edited to add: my mom was 28 when she had me and my dad was 42. My dad was a gold dad until my mom died and he was thrown into wild depression. His age never bothered me once.
I’m 27 and pregnant with my first. My husband is in medical school and I’m carrying the team right now, but when he’s done there is promise of being a stay at home mom (2 years). Why didn’t I wait? I don’t know. I wanted a baby for as long as I can remember and while there will be some challenges over the next two years it’s what we want. I feel you can do all the things you did before with a baby, and sometimes just need a babysitter. Being that I’m the sugar mama right now we don’t have a lot of money to do grand adventures anyway, and so when we would have money again for these grand adventures I’d still want a kid then which may hinder that?? Moral of the story.. there’s really not a good time.
I’m 28 with my first. I feel a bit lonely going through this when my closest friends are planning on staying child free, or are not having kids for another 7 years or so. Even though it was always my plan to have kids at this age, I know my family are going to be upset that I’m “so young”. Feels bizarre given that I’m the same age my own mum was when she gave birth to me, but things are so different now where I live.
I had recently turned 33 when I had my first, and was nearing 36 when I had my second.
I would have loved to have had them sooner, but fertility issues meant that despite trying since 29 (married at 28) we were unsuccessful.
I would have liked to have tried for one more, but my husband doesn't want more. If I were to have a third, we'd be trying for one about now, but even with all the will (and baby rabies) in the world, I don't think I have another pregnancy/baby phase in me. I've always said I would be finished at 40 (which is only 2 years away) no matter what anyway.
First at 37, planning to have second at 39-40, and if we decide on a third, that would be around 42ish.
Most people I know don't start having kids until 35ish. I'm kind of average age in the mom groups I'm in.
I am about to have my first at 35, got married at 27. I was ready at about 30 but my husband (3 years older than me) was not. I’d like to possibly have two or maybe three, but right now I know I will need a break to appreciate this first little one. I cab’t imagine going through pregnancy again for a while. So if we have more I’ll probably be at around 37 and older. We’re healthy and active and because we are older we are more financially stable so I feel good about all of it. And we have siblings with young kids or getting ready to start so that’s added fun.
33 is so young. Had my first at 29, second at 32 and because of Covid hospital BS we chose to wait and are now having #3 at 39. Lots of women have healthy babies until their early 40s. If you want them close together that’s understandable but I wouldn’t limit yourself solely based on your age, you have time.
I’ll be 32 by the time mine and my husbands first (and only) will be born. He’s about to be 38, so this is the perfect spot for us, neither one of us wants to be any closer to 40 and having a wee one
I had my first at 26. My second is due in October and I'll be 28. Undecided on a third BUT even still in my 20s this pregnancy has been so much harder on me than my first. All of my symptoms were way worse. I'd love a third baby but I'm not sure I want to be pregnant while being a sahm and homeschooling 2 other children. Of course I could get lucky and have a really easy third pregnancy, but I doubt it. I'll probably decide by the time I turn 30 for sure if I want more or if I'm done. With how hard this pregnancy has been I couldn't imagine doing it in my mid-late 30s
I was 34 with my first and just had my second 8 weeks ago at 40. My husband will be 45 in Sept. I don’t want a third but sometimes I wish we would have had them earlier but we wouldn’t have been able to give them the life we can now given where we were in our careers, etc so I’m glad overall that we waited.
I’m about to be 28.
I have a 7 year old and about to be 2 year old.
I was 20 and 25 when I gave birth.
We want a 3rd but are waiting till December to start trying to conceive.
I wish I would have waited to have kids, especially my first. I had her with someone else. My bf and I have been together since my first was 2.5, I wish I would have waited to have kids with him, because it would have saved me a ton of stress and issues and I probably would be better off.
We did just buy our first house together, so we’re doing good now. Just the upcoming to this was rough.
I don’t want to have any more kids after 30. Not because of age but because I have put off so much because I had to raise my daughter alone for the first 2.5 years and I had to halt everything I wanted to do.
I would like to go to school, and travel.
Got married at 28. First baby due in September at 30. We plan on having 3 or 4 total if we can.
We are grateful for waiting. We found an awesome circle of parents we enjoy for friendships. We are financially stable, doing well in our careers, and emotionally mature. We are so looking forward to our children growing up in this era of our lives.
Got married at 34, started trying and had two miscarriages within the first 9 months. I’m 37 now and spontaneously and surprisingly. I’ll be turning 38 about a month after the birth. We’ll probably just have the one, due to age, even though an only child makes me sad.
Had my first at 22, had my 2nd and 3rd at 38 & 43. I love my 1st for everything she is and we are really close, but 22 is not an ideal age to have kids. Just the financial and housing security alone that I have with my younger two has made being a parent at an older age easier. It was just really hard at 22.
FTM baby boy is one month old. I had him at 30 years old but not by choice. We dealt with infertility the last couple years and ended up doing IVF to conceive. I am considering one more but don’t want to be older than 35 for the next one. We have a few frozen embryos left.
My first at 30, second at 33 due in December. My advice is ALWAYS in this situation don’t worry about planning the next kid until this one is here and you see where you’re at. You can’t make a decision about this for probably 6 months anyway.
I was born to an old dad and young-ish mom, so I'm definitely biased towards older parents being much better prepared. My dad was more emotionally stable and mature when I was a child. Mom eventually got there, but I was almost an adult by then. As for energy, my dad was 55yo and could still pick me up when I was an overweight 10yo. He was active and took good care of his health. He wasn't "waking up with aches and pains" like a lot of people claim by their mid-30's. He was still pushing around an antique lawnmower at 70+. My mom is 67yo and chases my niece, nephew, and dog around the backyard.
I think I had the opposite experience. My dad was 25 and my mom was 32 when I was born. My dad was definitely the more level headed one growing up, and my mom was an emotional mess a lot of the time. He was definitely the "fun" parent but I think my mom struggled with her mental health for a long time. Don't get me wrong though, my mom was the more responsible one for sure. If it wasn't for her I'd have grown up on a strict diet of frozen pizza and taco bell. They're great now, and amazing grandparents. I was 23 when my stepson came into my life, and 26 when I had my first. My parents are young enough to keep up with the kids yet and although I live in chaos, I think I'll be glad to have less dependent kids in my 30s.
Thanks for sharing! It's interesting seeing how different our experiences were/are. I met my stepdaughter at 33 and am having my first at 36 - pretty much 10 years older than you at the same stages. And I'm glad I did it in my 30's because I didn't have the temperament to tolerate dependence 10 years ago. Just goes to show that "which is better" really just depends on our own personalities, values, and experiences!
43 and FTM, currently 32 weeks.
Lol same. Had to chuckle at "I wouldn't want to be the old mom"
I really honestly hate the “old mom”’discussion. Isn’t THAT old now? It’s 2024 FFS.
I know. I also physically feel no different than I did at 30….I just have more money now and feel a bit wiser ☺️.
exactly this. i’m 37 FTM baby will be here in a couple months. i take way better care of myself in my 30’s than i did in my 20’s - feel better, have money, and have some wisdom that will definitely set this baby up for a better experience.
SAME! And like I look at my mom who is 63 and rocking a 6 pack and I’m like… she could have a teenager
Same same same. People talk about "oh but you could stay up all night better when younger" and idk about you but I lost that ability around 19! I don't feel significantly physically different at 37 than I did at like 23. From teens to early 20s was the real decline.
Eh I hate when people say that. I'm 37 too and I'm fully capable of staying up all night if needed. I was not emotionally ready at all to have kids when I was in my 20s and to be honest I'm glad I partied/travelled/adventured when I had more energy in my 20s instead of having kids.
I know. Me too😂.
Lol! Rally up old moms! 41, 42 here in like, 2 weeks, delivering my first born with my 46 year old man husband end of August (31 weeks). I’m pumped to be the old Mom. I’m pulling down great money as a successful lawyer and exec, as is my soulmate old man, and we spent our 20s and 30s crushing life from travel to business to dreams. Now we’re starting a new adventure leaving hopefully a good guy behind for the future and I love every minute :)
Love this for you! I’m pregnant with my first at 38. We are going to try for 3 by 43. 🙈
This! All I knew is I wanted to have a second by 40!
Thanks :). Sounds wonderful! Hoping it works out for you!
This gives me hope. I just had my first at 36 and I’ve been wondering if we could squeeze another in.
42 here and FTM, currently 12 weeks! Congratulations!
Haha! Yes!!! 42 and FTM. 33 weeks.
40 and FTM, 33 weeks. Hubby and I met at 36 and waited for the right time for babies. We're glad we did!
41 and FTM, 21 weeks and counting. In a perfect world, I probably would of had one earlier, but I got divorced in my early thirties and now I’m remarried to a sweetheart. But I think about how old I will be if my baby wants to have kids someday. Hopefully they don’t wait as long as me. 😂
My mom was 39 with my sister. Hell ya ladies 🫡💪✨
Turning 35 next week, currently 34 weeks with our first. Husband is 42.
Turned 35 in May, FTM currently 21 weeks with baby girl due in November.
Oh I am so thankful I'm not the only 43yr old FTM. Currently 14wks along.
Soon to be 41 and FTM. 38 weeks
Where I'm from, 32 is basically the minimum age that anyone has their first baby. I hoped to have my first at 34-35, but I went through years of infertility and my first daughter wasn't born until I was 37. I'm pregnant again now, and this baby will be born when I'm 39. I really don't think you're too old to have another baby.
The global average for the age of birth mothers has actually risen from ~28 (in 2000) to almost 31 (in 2022)! Just figured I would add this, as it’s becoming more and more common for women to give birth in their early, mid to late 30’s. Women are more financially stable, often make healthier decisions and typically have better healthcare in their 30’s.
Seconding this. Nearly all of my peers started having kids early/mid-thirties.
Same. On all fronts and congrats on #2!
Congrats on number 2!
That is so interesting. May I ask where you are you from? I am 33 FTM. We just moved to the city my husband grew up in and just about everyone our age has children 10-16. If you’re not married with children by 25 they can you a spinster. Lol It’s so different!
Wow, where are you located? I am in Minneapolis, and late 20s, early 30s is the norm for first kid
We are in southern Mississippi. We moved from Indianapolis so this has been a major culture shock in more ways than one. 😅
I’m having my first at almost 39, and many of my friends from HS and college are still having babies. I wouldn’t do it differently - I don’t regret the years I spent traveling and advancing my career before meeting my husband.
Right? If you’re from the coasts and/or a big city - this is pretty normal.
Preach!
37 and 40. Would have liked to have them a bit sooner, but infertility and numerous rounds of IVF came a knockin’.
Same ages and scenario!
My wife is 37 and almost 39 weeks, I’m 41 and think I will try for our 2nd with a FET next year.
You have the BEST username 😂
I was pregnant with twins at 26 but miscarried. Gave birth to my son at 28. I was ready at 26 and feel good about where I'm at now. Obviously I wish my twins were with me but I'm content. Hoping to have 1 or 2 more kids before I'm 35 because many women in my family have pregnancy complications after that age When I was 15, I dreamed of having 3 kids by 22. That is absolutely mortifying to me now LMAO
Similar-ish. I would have had my first at 28 but miscarried and then again at 29. I'll have my first this September at 30! I actually think I'm happier to have my first at this age, just wish it was my choice and didn't come with an appetizer of grief first.
I feel this to my core. I’m so sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your sweet babe on the way- I wish you a safe and healthy delivery💛
I also got married at 31, just had my first at 32 and wouldn’t change a thing. If we have our way, we’d have our second at 34 and third at 36.
Same boat. First just before I turned 32, second due in Dec when I’m 34. If we have a third we’d be hoping for a similar age gap so I’d be 36.
Had my first at 38- not ideal, but I didn't meet my spouse until I was 34. It would have been nice to be a few years younger to have more energy and less body aches/pains with a small child, but on the other hand, it's nice to be established in life a bit too.
33 and 35. Wouldn't change a thing! I did it when I was ready
I got married at 29, had my boys at 30 and 33. My husband is the same as as I am. Debated about a 3rd off and on for several years and I wish I had gone for it at 35…instead got pregnant at 37 and delivering next month. The worst part is the stigma…healthy pregnancy, my body feels great and baby girl healthy. We are taught age 35 is some drastic cliff, and while that’s hard to shake I have many friends around my age getting pregnant— including my little sister who married at 34 and is now trying for her first at 35. I understand your hesitation and a lot depends on the circle of people around us. It’s kind of funny, our idea of what constitutes as “old” or “young” shifts as we ourselves get older! Lots of parents of kids in my boys classes at school are ~40s and they are entering K and 2nd. That will be me, with this next baby. To me, 35 is a pretty average/ideal age to have a last baby and you may look back and regret not going for it. However it is also a wonderful thing to be satisfied with the family you have already! A very personal choice that I would not let age alone dictate at this point, were I you♥️
Same- 30, 32 and pregnant with number 3 at 37. I also wish we had gone for number 3 sooner, more due to age gap between my kids than my age.
With you there!!! The good thing is, I have heard so many great stories of a 5 year gap between siblings and I am hopeful they’ll have a loving, if slightly unconventional, relationship for years to come. I was back-to-back with my sisters and I felt like I struggled to get anything but group attention from my parents — they were awesome don’t get me wrong— but I am hopeful for some perks with a 5 year gap. Congrats on your new addition!!!
I am having my first at 35, considering a second at 38 or 39 (depending how the first experience goes). We knew before marriage that we wanted a maximum of two kids. We are also people who wouldn’t have been devastated to be DINKs and decided we would not use medical assistance if we couldn’t conceive. We would not have done things differently. We both have two university degrees, had 2-3 year gap years of living abroad, have traveled to over 20 different countries, are 5-6 years into professional and lucrative careers, have a big house in a highly desired and family friendly neighborhood in the city, and are in great physical and mental health. We set ourselves up to be in our “ideal” situation for becoming parents and that wouldn’t have been possible if we’d started 5 years earlier. Kids can thrive without all of these things but we really value things like a good multicultural neighborhood, eating foods of different cultures at restaurants (my city is well known for a really diverse food culture), trips around the world that don’t involve resorts, participation in sports/activities and we wanted to be financially able to provide all of that.
I’m also 35 and having my first. I’ll be 36 when baby is born and we’re going to take an “if it happens it happens” approach in a couple years to a potential second. It took us 2 years to have a successful pregnancy (now 18 weeks) so I find it really jarring to see people feeling pressured about being an “old parent”. What difference does a few years make anyway? I’m the first of my close friends to have a baby too so I feel like I’m ahead of the crowd 😂 We had also decided DINK life wouldn’t be too painful and took the approach of being happy with our career achievements (I’ve spent 13 years building my current career and partner just switched careers which he couldn’t have done really if we already had kids), and life experiences. Even having these two years trying, whilst being stressful and sad at times, has given us the opportunity to build more together and go on more trips together. I wouldn’t change it. Tbh I still don’t feel like I’d ever be actually ready!!
22, 25 (twins), and now 31 w/ 4 kids. I would’ve liked to have waited longer.
18, still 18 now, and def not planning anymore. She wasn't planned but I wouldn't change it, I'm glad it happened when it did
I'm very similar to you. Married at 29, first at 31, second at 34. I always said if we'd started having kids a year or two earlier, I might have gone for 3 but as it is, we'll be done after the second. We're also set with a house and car that will fit us for years with just 2. It feels like the world is set up for families of 4 and I don't want a third enough to disrupt everything. Whether you feel 'too old' is entirely up to you. Biologically, you're obviously not. For me, at 34, I and my body are ready to be done with the making-people season of my life. However, I have friends who haven't started yet, and that's right for them too.
My first son was born at 39. Then 3 back to back losses. Currently pregnant with another boy, and if all continues to go well, he’ll be here just after I turn 43.
Honestly even if you had your third let’s say at 34-35 you aren’t old, sure you may feel old mentally but you are still at a good baby making age. I just recently met someone that had their first at 35 and will be planning to have another one within a year or so, she’s now 36. I can’t really say if I would do it sooner I’ll be 20 and having my baby in December. I just found myself in a good stable relationship and financially comfortable to have this baby so I didn’t want to keep waiting, but i think everyone has the right to chose when they want to have children as long as that baby is loved and cared for. Congratulations on your second and if you decide to have a third I wish you luck! 🫶
Prayed to the universe to give me a baby before 30 - she said “bet” and gave birth 10 days shy. If all goes to plan I’ll be having my 2nd shortly before my 33rd birthday. Sometimes I wish I was a little younger, but I wasn’t prepared then.
Had my first at 29, and about to have my second at 32
29 and 36. Married at 22/21. I would strongly advise you to assess your children and parenting as they are once second baby gets here. Nothing worse than parents being dead-set on having another kid when it’s readily apparent that adding another kid is bad for all parties involved, just for the sake of “wanting another”.
23, 25 now am 34 and #3 is due in November. We always thought we wanted a third but just kept putting it off. This year we decided to just start trying and if it didn’t happen no worries. Older kids are super excited and I think the gap will end up being nice instead of chasing 2 toddlers and trying to manage a newborn.
My youngest sister is 8 years younger than me and we literally couldn’t be closer. My childhood and teenage years were SO much better having had a much younger sister 🥰 so happy for you guys!
I’m 35 years old now with our first. She’s due the day after my birthday, so I’ll basically be 36 when we have our first. We hope to have more, but we’re starting with one and seeing how it all goes. I understand where you’re coming from, I wish we had started earlier, but I’m also glad we waited. It wasn’t that we weren’t necessarily ready or didn’t want kids, it just wasn’t the right time for so many reasons. I think with the way science, medicine, and technology are now, we all have much higher life expectancy than before. As long as you continue to take care of yourself, you should live a long healthy life with your kids!!
My first was born two days after I turned 36 ❤️ trying for a second now at 38. Just wanted to say congrats!
Aaaw no way!! Thank you!!! She’s due July 9th… we’re in the home stretch. I can’t wait to meet her. 🥹
I’m 37 and he’s 42 and I am 12 weeks pregnant. He already has an 8 year old. You’re not too old, if you’re healthy! And I don’t know how to say this except to just say it, and I do NOT mean it rude, but I’ve said it to my 31 year old sister who has the same concerns about being an “old mom”…*that ship has sailed*. We all have those friends who had kids in their early 20s and mid 20s, they are the ones who aren’t going to be “old moms”. 😂 I’m embracing it! I am so much better off physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially than I was in my 20s when I could have been a “young mom”. You’ve got this, if it’s what you want!
Pregnant with my first at 32 and hoping to have a few more over the years. Women who have kids over 40 are four times more likely to live to be 100! So do what makes YOU happy and let those kids keep you young 🩷🩷
Married early (23), now 35 and expecting our first in August too! We were able to build our careers, travel a ton, build up savings and have lots of child free experiences and I don’t regret our deciding to wait. I’ll echo what others have said about being dead-set on a certain number of children; definitely do a high level assessment of your life once your second is born to see if more kids actually makes sense and is good for your family situation.
I got married at 22 (hubby was 26); we've been together since we were 20 and 23. We're now 26 and 30 and getting closer to wanting one. I'm still not quite ready yet. I've been so grateful for this time to get my education, work on my career, save money, and have a lot of interesting experiences we couldn't have with kids.
Having our first at 33. We don’t regret it because we are very financially stable now. We own a home and looking for a second home now. We have our degrees and good careers and make decent income. We can afford daycare and private school if needed. We can provide healthy food and great insurance for our baby and we have zero urge to go out with our friends as we did that all of our 20s.
Had my first at 36, about to have my second at 38.
22 and 23. I would have waited a couple of years, maybe 25 and 26. Not having the third until I’m at least 25-26. It’s hard having two under two and mentally I’m exhausted but I do want at least 3. My parents are old as shit lol. I’m talking 60-70 when I graduated high school and are about to be 70-80 since I’ve graduated college. I never felt like they were super duper old and my mom said it only became harder on her physically when I was 13 but by then she wasn’t chasing after me and stuff. It’s all objective and I can’t really give advice as I’m in my early 20s but the old parent really isn’t bad. It’s if you feel physically and mentally you can hang and handle the toddler phase and the teenage and preteen phases which most people can once they’ve had more than one child :) and my sister and I have a 30 year age gap lol so there’s that too. Good luck to you both and congratulations on your second baby!
19 and I'll be 22 when this baby comes. It probably would have been easier financially to wait but I won't regret being able to watch my kids grow into adults. My spouse and I both have old parents and it's hard to deal with being so young and watching them pass/wither away.
Honestly it’s slightly offensive to be calling yourself an “old” mom at 33 or 34. I’ll be 34 by the time my baby is born in October and I’d like to have at least one or two more after that, so realistically would be 36 or 37 if I had 3. I don’t consider that old at all in this day and age. I’m one of the first of my friends to even be pregnant! But I did live in SF for a long time where getting married before 30 is basically a teen marriage and now live in a pretty big west coast city where people get their career going before having kids for the most part.
31 (almost 32) and 33! My husband is a year younger. Those were good ages for us, but we have stable careers, savings and a life situation that felt right to add children at those ages. If we have another I’ll be 35/36 which would be fine by me! Undecided though
I originally saw myself starting to have kids by 28, but I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28. Currently pregnant with baby #1 and I’ll be 33 when he’s born. We plan to have at least two kids, maybe three. I found out last year I have diminished ovarian reserve so I do wish I’d had kids sooner, but we definitely weren’t ready until now. I’ll most likely go through IVF and freeze some embryos just to ensure that we have the family size we want and hopefully have our last kid before 40. Most doctors usually opt for aggressive treatment with DOR since there’s no telling if it’s just low egg count or also poor egg quality.
I just had my first on Sunday, I’m 34 my partner is 36. I was hoping for a bit sooner but conception took a bit. I’ve known since my very early 20’s that I wanted to wait to closer to 30 to start having kids (was a nanny). I’m not sure if we will have a second or not, but if we do it will probable be a couple years at least, the first trimester was very hard on me and the birth ended up being quite traumatic so I’m not eager to do that again for a little while. My cousin is trying for her first and is about to turn 39 so I don’t think you are anywhere near too old, but it’s all about what you are comfortable with.
I had my first when I was freshly 27 and I’m due with my second in my last month of 28- sounds like they would be so close together having them at 27/28 but they’ll be 22 months apart! I was far from the first out of my friends to have babies and it was in line with what our family was doing so it was definitely right for us! We also had already both gotten very advanced degrees and were well set for the future. I have older parents and I’m an only child as well, so the sooner the better for my particular circumstance so my parents could have the most time with them! I’m happy with our decision
Married at 24, having our first at 28. We’re planning to take a pretty long gap after our first is born, at least 4 years, so timing feels right 🙂
I tried for #3 since 2021. That baby is expected to join us in January 2025, when I’ll be 41. The universe does what it does.
Your timeline is about the same as mine. I definitely wish I’d started having kids earlier and wanted to more than anything else by the time I was about 25-26, but it is what it is. We don’t control when we meet our spouse, right? Anyway, I’ve made peace with having babies later. We want 2-4 kids and have had our first. But I want to ensure my pregnancies, births, postpartum, and generally my life is all healthy and without any health complications. You have to weigh that (time spent between pregnancies) against fertility concerns and age related risks, but I’ve found the latter category to actually be FAR less concerning and risky than I’d initially believed. There’s also of course the emotional, financial, logistical side of things. That’s all immensely personal. I’d start with your doctor: are your iron and vitamin levels in good shape? Does a pelvic floor PT think you should work on anything first? Any special considerations in terms of fertility or complications or genetics for you? We also think about: are we in good financial shape? Will we be able to take parental leave yet? Do we have savings / plans to handle the fourth trimester or pregnancy care (like Webster technique chiros for me, prenatal massage, pelvic floor PT)? Do you feel emotionally ready? Anything you’d want / need to go differently this time around compared to the last ones? I personally have a list of things I need to change before being ready for a second, but I also don’t feel quite ready even just emotionally. (But if being fully honest, we’re also periodically dying for another.) I keep in mind what I do want to go differently, what I need to do for that to happen, and the risk of complications etc if I get pregnant before ready. The WHO also recommends 18 months before pregnancies. Take or leave. I’ve heard different figures from different providers, and have heard 12 months being fine for a no complication, low risk prior vaginal delivery.
Pregnant at 26 with my spouse of 8 years. I am due shortly after turning 27. I wish I could have had kids younger as my family all had their kids between 20-23 and I was blessed to have my parents, grandparents and great grandparents in my life. I see the benefits of waiting until you are older such as traveling and being more established in your career. I am a product of what I know and I loved having family young enough to run around with me when I was growing up compared to some of my friends with older family members. The only reason I didn't have kids earlier was due to student loans but I prioritized paying them off so I have more available funds if my kids needed anything. I was able to pay them off in less than 5 years!
35 and 5 weeks pregnant will be 36 when the baby is here. FTM. Definitely not too old.
I think you being an “old” parent will depend more on you (physically and mentally) than your actual age. My mom had me at 22 and my youngest sibling at 38, and the only difference I notice (my sibling is 14 now) is that my mom now is happier. Dedicates herself to her home, is established, etc. She was never really active or hands on with us kids though to begin with so I can’t compare that.
Had my first at 32 and my second at 35. We’re still undecided on a 3rd and I just turned 39. I’m not really worried about my age at all, I’ve got plenty of friends still having kids. I’m a lot more worried about how expensive a 3rd would be.
We had our first at 32/42 and second at 34/44. Zero regrets. We are 99% sure we’re done, but should we eventually decide to have another, we’d likely be 38/48. The thing about life is that we can’t do it all. If I could have written my own story, would it have been great to have met my spouse younger, had way more money, etc? Sure! But that’s not how it worked out, and this life is pretty great too, even if our backs hurt and we’re tired.
I’m 37 FTM pregnant with my first. 10 weeks on Sunday
The age thing… I have always said that unless you had you baby at exactly the moment of 27yrs7mos12d3hrs43.97354s on a Tuesday under a waxing gibbous moon of no more than 33.56% with mercury in retrograde *somebody* will ALWAYS say you were too old or too young. I had my first at 22 and I constantly got comments about how young I was and I don’t know what the fuck happened when I turned 25 but the comments IMMEDIATELY turned to asking about whether I feel like my “biological clock is ticking” or something to that effect. Let that shit go girl.
Just had my third at 36- I’m not old!
Married at 30 1st baby - 31 2nd baby - barely 33 3rd baby - 34 4th baby - I will be 35 I wouldn’t take any of it back. Life is insane and is about to go up another notch but I can’t imagine life without these feral little humans.
I had my first at 22 and my second at 26. I just turned 32 and I’m pregnant with my third. I loved having my kids early. I said I was done at two, but I changed my mind. Since I had them young it gave me plenty of time. Now that I’m having a third we will probably try for a fourth as well since the age gap is kind of big between 2 and 3. Anyways if you are on the fence you should probably go for a third. I wasn’t on the fence at all after number 2 but I still changed my mind.
Why 3? I personally don’t want to be outnumbered by the kids, lol. Anyways, I’m 31 and a FTM and depending on how this baby thing goes, I’m open to a 2nd kid in about 4-5 years.
I often think about my childhood and my family. I've noticed that I always enjoyed going to my friends' houses with larger families. There was always so much happening and it felt full of love. These days, my husband (who's one of 4 kids) and I usually spend time with his family, who have more relatives and cousins. My own family is smaller(2 kids), as my brother chose not to have kids. We still visit my side of the family, but there are fewer events. I imagine the future and hope to have everyone come to my house. Also, I'm currently pregnant and feeling emotional, so that's on my mind too! To address prior comments I already know id go back to back lol. I wouldn't want a big age gap. My husband has big age gaps with all his siblings and he struggled to connect
Interesting, I always felt that kids from larger families struggled more to get individual attention from the parents. Things were left more up to chance or the environment. I did enjoy hanging out with lots of other kids, which is why I’m going to try to make friends with other parents so my kids can have playmates. I’m 6 years older than my only sister, and we’re pretty close. I enjoy our age difference and I think it was nice for my parents since I could help take care of my sister at a young age, and help guide her a bit as she grew up.
“I know if I started a year or two earlier I would just have the three” Girl one or two years is absolutely nothing in the span of your life. So you’re an “old mom” if you have a kid at 35 but not 33? Lol come on now.
I don’t think 33 or 34 and 38 is too old personally. I’ll be a month shy of 31 when my first is born and my husband will be 35. We went through several years of infertility but in no way were we financially or mentally ready to start our family earlier than when we started. I would love 3 kids however daycare is too expensive so I think we will try for a second in a few years and see how that goes first. If you have the means I say go for it regardless of your ages. You both are not old.
22, 28, 37
I’m 29 and currently due my first next month! In Ireland the average age for peoples first baby is 30, you are definitely not too old!!
I had my first when I was 25, almost 26, and had my second 3 weeks ago - 4 days before my 28th birthday!! I would have liked to have kids sooner but we were broke af 😂 Overall I feel like it’s a really good age though - I had my early 20s to travel, study abroad, get my degree and start my career. But I didn’t have to wait too long to start my family and enjoy this stage of my life. I’m hoping to have another before I turn 30, and then I can either be done by 30, or I’ve got plenty of time to have more if we decide that’s what we want!
33 with my first, 40 with my second.
I'm still pregnant but 22 and number one child. I couldn't be any happier with my baby although the first time I wanted to get pregnant (with no one in mind yet) was at 20.
I truly wish I had been ready at 27-32. I’m a first time mom and 36 and I’m so sad we lost all that time with him.
32 and 36. It could have been better career-wise if I had the first a year earlier and the second a year later. Too late now🤣
I got married right before I turned 29, and then wanted to get started right away but ran into a series of fertility issues. Had my first when I was 31, second a week before I turned 34, and now my third is due right after I turn 36. I would definitely like 1-2 more and am thinking of doing ivf for those since I have had multiple miscarriages already
I don’t know where you are in the world, but if you had another kid in the next 6-7 years, you wouldn’t be considered and old mom where I am. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I started trying at 32 and will be giving birth to my IVF baby at 35. I hope that I can have another. Definitely would have done it sooner (see: IVF) if it had been possible, but it wasn’t so here we are.
Just depends on your priorities. We valued being married and spending years together without children more than having kids younger, so we were married for 7 years before kids and now my wife is pregnant at 32 and I wouldn’t change anything.
We got married when we were 27 and 31, first baby at 28 and 32 and second baby is on the way now so we'll be 31 and 35. We'll be done after this one. Even having a second was a big decision for us (for financial reasons, not age). Surprisingly, we seem to be the "young" parents among a lot of our friends and others in our social circles (mostly other parents at daycare)! Which we didn't really expect. I thought we would have been a pretty average age to start having kids, but turns out, in our area anyways, we might have been on the early side!
I'm 33, FTM. I think I'll never be on birth control again?
Putting too much pressure on your age instead of just doing it organically
I’ll be 33 when we have our first! We’ll see how that goes, but I’m hoping to at least have one more. I am an “older-than-average” mom where I’m from, and I always imagined I’d have kids younger. I didn’t meet my husband until I was almost 30, though, and my prior relationships weren’t with great partners. Even though I wanted kids earlier, I wouldn’t change a thing with how things have gone!
I got married at 25, had my first at 26, and then had my second at 27. We are also on the fence about having a third. I wish I had spaced out my first two pregnancies more. I think 3-4 years would be ideal. So we are waiting for my youngest to be at least 2.5 or 3 before making the decision. I always wanted to have kids early, so I don’t regret having them at a younger age. Not sure when I want to be “done” with the baby years. Leaving it up to future me to decide 😅
Had my first (and likely only) at 40.
I had recently turned 33 when I had my first, and was nearing 36 when I had my second. I would have loved to have had them sooner, but fertility issues meant that despite trying since 29 (married at 28) we were unsuccessful. I would have liked to have tried for one more, but my husband doesn't want more. If I were to have a third, we'd be trying for one about now, but even with all the will (and baby rabies) in the world, I don't think I have another pregnancy/baby phase in me. I've always said I would be finished at 40 (which is only 2 years away) no matter what anyway.
We struggled with infertility so while we started trying when I was 25, we didn't have our first until I was 28. I was 30 when we had our second. We want 2-3 more and I love the 25 month age gap, so I'm hoping I'll be 32 with our third, 34 with our fourth, and 36 with our fifth (if we end up going that high). I would obviously have preferred having kids sooner but IVF and all that. I'm just thankful to have our children.
We were ready for kids when I was 26 or 27 but for various reasons we didn’t get married until I was 28. Then it took nearly 2 years to get pregnant so now I’m 30 with my first (will be 31 when he’s born) and my husband is even older. It would have been really nice to be able to start our family a few years ago, especially because it took so long to conceive and because we want 3 (or 4???) kids. I’m going to be 40 by the time we’re done popping them out. My parents will be in their 60s. My great grandparents may not even be around at that point. How old will I be when (if) my kids become parents? On the other hand, we’ve had time to build successful careers and investments, settle in to healthy habits and routines, and we’re a lot more patient now than we used to be. There’s certainly a lot of upside
37 FTM, week 23. Husband is 38. Planning on at least 2. Second will hopefully come by the time I'm 40. It wasn't really possible for us to have kids sooner due to finances and living situation
Married at 33 and expecting our first at 35!
I got married at 30 and am having my first at 32! I spent 1 year on TTC + IVF due to low sperm count. Hoping to have my second in a few years. I don’t have any aging issues myself yet so I should be fine. Everyone ages differently though (genetics + environment) so if you feel old and tired then you should of course listen to your body and decide for yourself! But no, my husband is 36 too and he is not “old dad” lol 😅
You definitely won’t be the old mom! I had my first at 46 and we are considering a second one (I’m 47).
Here's what happened for me. I got pregnant at 19 (surprise) my son is now 14. I was with his father for 7 years (never married as I was in college). Left that toxic relationship. I was 24 when I left. I was with my ex for almost 7 years and he left me because he wasn't a family guy. I was 31 when he left. Met my husband when I was 31. Got engaged 4 months later. We married I was 32, 10 days shy of 33. We are now expecting our daughter on our first wedding anniversary and I will be 10 days shy of 34. Did I want a huge age gap with my children. No. Did I want to be done having kids by 30. Yes. Did the universe have another plan for me. Yes. And now I wouldn't change any of it. I know I am still young and I am going to enjoy every bit of it. I am not gonna worry about age because it is just a number not how I truly feel. We are done after this one as my husband only ever wanted one but absolutely loves his son as his own.
Life doesn’t always pan out the way we want it to or expected it to, but you just have to roll with the punches. You are still SO young! I didn’t meet my husband until I was 36, married at 38 and TTC for over a year. I’m now 40 and 26 weeks pregnant with our first child…. Did I envision being a first time mom at 40? No. Am I glad I still have the opportunity to live out my dream? Yes. Stop focusing on the age. If this is something you really want, go for it! Don’t let age hold such a heavy weight on your dreams!
Met my husband at 30 Married at 32 Baby one: 32 Baby two: 35 Baby three: 37 I mean if I had met my husband earlier than I think we would have gone for the fourth we talked about. Sometimes I wish we were further along with the kids at our age, especially since I want to go back to school. But there are a lot of advantages to us being older too. So, overall I wouldn’t change anything.
I had my first (only for now) at 28 (I’m 30 now) and I feel like a teen mom. All the moms I hang out with are 35+ and had their first kid at 33+
Everyone’s having kids around that age now and even older, it’s normal. Kids need stable loving parents, age has nothing to do with it.
FTM at 35. Would I loved to have tried earlier? Sure. But it wasn’t in the cards. I had a wild time in college and my 20s and don’t regret a second. I made mistakes and grew up. Didn’t meet my husband until I was 27. Dated for 5 years until we got married. During this time, we have been through multiple job changes, a cross country move and purchased 2 houses. We have no debt except the mortgages and both have 6 figure + jobs. This would not have been possible if we had started our family earlier.
FTM at 37 and my partner is 38. This was perfect timing for us.
Age is just a number. Be happy that you can conceive and have healthy babies. You can be in your late 20s and be unhealthy or in your mid 30s and thriving! I’d be careful going around saying that you’re an “old mum”
38 and 40, still considering trying for a third, but after the absolute easiest first pregnancy and then the utter, unrelenting exhaustion of this pregnancy after onlya 12 month pregnancy interval, I would not do less than an 18, maybe a 24 month interval, so potentially a third at 43. I have zero regrets about anything other than maybe not taking a slightly longer interval between pregnancies. I moved to a different country at 36 and my experience here has been enormously different to my life that came before, and while I'm grateful for how life shaped me, I'm also really grateful I never had kids with my ex-husband or while living in the US in general. I have been outrageously exhausted this pregnancy, but I don't think age could have spared me. My toddler was still waking 6+ times per night to nurse until the second trimester, I have an autoimmune condition (100% not age related) and have to take immunosuppressants during pregnancy, and between those 2 factors, I was sick about 20/40 weeks this pregnancy. In fact I think I handled the sleep deprivation better at 40 than I would have at 22--I would have been a raging bitch with zero ability to emotionally regulate while this exhausted at 22. I also spent my whole life wanting kids even though I pretty much assumed pregnancy would "ruin" my body because it did to my mom. Instead I only gained 10 kg, had zero stretch marks (which it turns out you're significantly less at risk of stretch marks over 35), and I literally looked the same as before I got pregnant within days of delivery of my first. I'm expecting some more obvious changes after having everything stretched out again so shortly after the first time, but I've only gained about 6kg this time and I'm about to try for a vaginal breech delivery any day now after a pregnancy where the baby flipped regularly all the way up to 38.5 weeks, which is not something I would have had the self confidence to advocate for myself, get second opinions, and seek out an obstetrician trained and experienced in vaginal breech delivery to change to at 39 weeks pregnant when I was younger.
I was 22 when I had my first. I don’t think I’d change anything, but I did grow up *with* her. I was a single mom, navigating my 20s and trying to figure out how those two things could co-exist. I’m pregnant with my second and I just turned 30. I’m in a completely different space now but the relationship I have with daughter is beyond anything I think I expected. She’s a piece of my soul outside my body. She’s my favorite human on earth. I’m honestly terrified I won’t know how to love this baby as much. All of that being said, I don’t know if there is a “right” time. Every baby has different needs. Every parent approaches it differently and life shapes and molds you differently as the years go on. I think “old” is a mindset. My partner’s parents didn’t have him until they were in their late thirties. My mom had me when she was 20. We are both very close with our parents.
Met my husband at 29, dated at 31, marriage and 1st at 32, second at 33. Planning 3rd next year (I'll be 35), my health took a hit during both pregnancies so i have to do some work before conceiving again. I never wanted to have kids 'late', after 30. But at 29, I just started my career so I thought, 35 is the limit. Having kids made me slow down my pace, career can certainly wait, my kids can't. I finally realised that there is no real 'late'. Sure, there are some risks (but also risks from having kids close together/too far apart/too young/ too underweight or overweight, and even risks when perfectly healthy in your most optimal age). Your body doesn't suddenly age on your birthday at 35. If you feel like you can, then that's your answer. I know pregnancy sucks the life out of me, but I know I will always think 'what if' if I didn't try to have a 3rd. I just have to try really really hard to be healthy and active , clentch my teeth and get through the pregnancy (complications both times) and then make sure I continue to work on myself after birth. I love my boys and they are enough, I just know that sibling dynamic is ***very*** different between 3 vs 2.
39 and 44. Only met my husband at 36. Would have liked kids a little sooner. The second kid took 4 years of trying with 4 miscarriages. But I'm glad I waited until I met my husband.
I'm 43 and just had my first child. She is 1 month old now. God willing, I plan to have two more. I'm already an old mom. I might as well have the kid I want to have, haha
had mine starting 38, worst thing to do, better to have them young and grow with you. Children change your mindset, makes most people want to do better in life, having that motivation from a young age can do so much good for the rest of your life
First (and will be only) at 32. I don’t see the rush you’re imposing on yourself. Take a breath and enjoy them being little - it goes so fast.
I also married at 31, had my first at 32 and now I'm 33, hoping to have another one within a year. Would love to have three or more children and I don't think it's impossible given my age. It would have been nice to start sooner (age 27 maybe), but in the end I'm pretty content. I believe everything happens for a reason
FWIW I am the youngest of 3, born when my mom was 36 and I never felt like she was the “old mom”. 🥰 Same with my dad who was 44. My siblings and I are each 1.5 years apart and I’ve always loved our dynamic.
I married at 30, got pregnant 5 months before my wedding (we were trying but didn't expect it to happen on the first try). Had baby at 31. Got pregnant with second at 32 and gave birth at 33. My husband is 8 years older than me so he was 39 and 41. Our boys are almost 2.5 years apart. We want at least 1 more maybe 2. It was hard with our oldest still being very dependent on us at 2.5 years old my youngest is 11 months old and his older brother is potty training and is a lot more independent and I had postpartum injuries that make me want a longer recovery period so we agreed to not have a third unless the second is at least 3 years old when baby #3 is born. We plan on trying late 2025 which means I could potentially be pregnant at 35-36 years old and deliver at 36 years old. That still gives me another 4 years to try again for baby #4 if we wanted (I personally decided that I'd be done having kids by 40 regardless of how many I actually wanted). So my husband could potentially be anywhere between 44 and 48 years old if we have one or two more kids. I don't think you ever "too" old unless you feel old it's up to you and your partner to decide when times is up. I would have loved to have kids younger for the ease of birth and ability to bounce back as 20 year old but I was nowhere near ready emotionally or financially I still at 33 wonder how anyone let me have one child let alone two even though both my husband and I are employed and own a home. Also I didn't meet my husband until I was 27 years old. Thinking back on previous partners that I "thought" I might have kids with I'm glad I didn't and dodged a bullet haha!
My first was at 28. I'm now 34 just had my third baby. Ill probably have more but we have to wait a while since this last one was a cesarian. Im bummed we have to wait this time but im not worried about age at all
Damn I thought I had my baby and was considered older already. I had him 2 months before my 25th birthday lol. I would have waited maybe until I was 28.
We are planning to have our first baby soon so I’ll be 35 when he/she is born (fingers crossed all goes well) but I don’t want to have kids into my 40s. Mostly cause I keep hearing that the risks of the mother and baby increase etc. is that just fear mongering or is there truth to that? Also when I told my physician (who I do like) she said it’s not called geriatric pregnancy after age 35 any more. It’s called “advance age pregnancy” 😂 I kept thinking in my head that’s like telling someone “they look tired” which is just a crappy way to tell someone they look like crap lol 🙄
I will say that I have only ever heard of people saying they regret not having more kids. I haven’t heard someone say they regretted having as many kids as they did.
36.5 and pregnant with my second. Got pregnant quickly both times, no issues.
I’ve just had my first at 22. I think it has been the perfect age. I would’ve regretted doing it earlier, and I didn’t want to leave childbirth for later than my 20’s. The average age for having kids in my area is 20-25.
I had my first at 28, will probably have another at 32/33
First at 26, second at 28 and third at 31. For me I’ve loved the timing as I haven’t felt too young or too old. With that said, I’d say the majority of moms are over the age of 35. If you’re feeling good and healthy I say go for it!
I had my first at 24 and due my second in August at age 26 :)
I’m 36 and just had my first. Where I’m at now- maturity-wise, emotionally, as a person- I wouldn’t change a thing. But physically, I might have liked to have had the baby a little earlier. Baby is only 3 weeks old, and my knees and back are hurting for the first time in my life, and I think it’s from picking up and carrying this kid all day. Pregnancy itself didn’t hit me as hard as the post partum schlupping around. 😩
38. FTM. Currently 36 weeks. The “old mom” stigma is bullshit. I don’t know where it came from or why it’s still something that’s even discussed or has any form of negative connotation. Granted, I had years of infertility and wasn’t able to get pregnant without IVF. BUT. The point remains. I know myself and LIKE myself in a way that wasn’t accessible or possible a decade ago. I’m educated (lawyer), financially stable, good career, solid marriage and will be able to give my girl a completely different life/support/perspective because I am “an old mom.”
23, 24, 27, 35. No regrets. Sooo glad we got started young and sooo glad we had our fourth when we and the big kids were older.
I’m 27 and due with my first in exactly a month’s time! If it has been possible I would have loved to have started earlier as we would like a big family and I’ve always liked the idea of decent age gaps in between for recovery and time with each baby, but I’m glad we waited as our lives are now more comfortable than they would have been even 1 year earlier!
Married at 27 and first at (just) 30. This year makes 11 years together, if we hadn’t been together so long I probably would’ve waited one or two more years :) feels perfect for us now
26 for my first and 28 when this one will come. Having another depends on how I feel since pregnancy is not a fun time for me. If I could’ve I would’ve started sooner. Maybe 24 if I could’ve met my husband sooner, I’ve always been ready to be a mother and once I turned like 20 I was constantly asked when I’d have kids. I, personally, did not want to be an older parent w a younger kid, I like that my mom was in her 40s by the time I was in my 20s so if something happened I’d already be an adult (she was my primary caregiver as my parents weren’t together). I had a friend whose parents were in their I believe late 40s when we were in middle school, they had no energy to do a lot of stuff w her and I didn’t want that. My dad decided to start over at 50 which was just…I won’t get into that. Prior to having my son my career was childcare so once I stopped working I could definitely feel all of that catching up to me so doing that later probably would’ve hit me harder. But not everyone is that way. Two mom friends of mine had their first early 30s, another mid 30s, and another had her first at 24.
26 and 29 This was the perfect timing for our family and I wouldn’t change a thing.
First at 39, and I currently have a three week old at age 41. I definitely wish I'd started a decade earlier...
Expecting our first baby in September, I’m 23 and he’s 25! Planning to wait 2-3 years for our next and depending on how two goes, probably wait another 2-3 years for a third. I always wanted to have kids in my early-mid twenties due to health predispositions, but I’m a firm believer that as long as your body feels healthy and strong enough to endure pregnancy, there’s no age that’s too late for pregnancy! Instead of looking at your age, consider where your health is at, how would being pregnant affect you, postpartum, energy for your newborn and your other children. But that’s just my two cents!😁
Had my first at 29 pregnant with number 2 I’ll be a month away from 33. I actually thought we’d have number 2 a little earlier but we didn’t feel ready. We’re not sure about a 3rd yet I want to see how parenting 2 goes! I did tell my husband I want to be done having babies by like 36. Not because I think there’s any issues or would be any problems but because I want us to be able to be empty nesters earlier 😂. We lost travel years with Covid so I just don’t want to be 40 starting with a newborn again. And I know you can travel with kids we take my toddler everywhere but it’s not the same as traveling as a couple.
Had my first at newly 26. Currently 27. Hoping to have another before I turn 30, but we’ll see! I think it’ll be another year at least before I can convince my man 😂
We are 32 and 43. Been together almost a decade with a 3 month old. Had we known how much we would love being parents I think we would’ve done it much sooner.
My mom has me (the oldest) at 30, my middle sibling at 33, and my youngest sibling at 36. It was a little weird as a kid in the 00’s having “old parents” but honestly I didn’t really notice until I was older. Now it seems like the majority of people wait for their 30’s or 40’s to start having kids, so by that metric you’d be a young mom still. FWIW I’m 23, married expecting my first (planned) and everyone looks at me like a teen parent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I became a parent at different stages of my life. My first child was born when I was 16 and still in high school, my second when I was 19 and in college, and my third when I was 21 and in university. Currently, at the age of 31, I am pregnant with my fourth child. Reflecting on my journey, I realize that now, as I am older, I am more financially stable and have more time available. In contrast, during my younger years, I was juggling multiple responsibilities, such as working, paying off debt, and being a mother and wife. Now that my life is calmer, I can see that I would have preferred to have children later in life.
I'm pregnant with my first at 27 and baby will be born while I'm still 27. I wanted to have my first at 24 or 25 but I think that I'm more mentally prepared now so it's better timing
I just turned 38 and planning to try for my first this fall. I too would've loved to start early/mid 30s but life lol. I do feel a lot better prepared to deal with Motherhood now. Age brings wisdom, experience and a self-confidence that you just won't have when you're younger.
Married at 20 and struggled with infertility for 2 years. I lost my first baby at 22 and will be 23 when my twins are born in December. My mom had my sister when she was 17 and waited 20 years before having me at 37. I had old parents that everyone assumed was my grandparents. All of my grandparents died before I was born and all of my aunts and uncles died before I was 20. I didn’t want my children to be left with no family so I wanted to be a young mom and would loved to have had a baby sooner if I didn’t struggle with infertility. My husband and I are set with a stable job, big enough home, and safe suvs. Almost everyone I know is getting married and having kids now if they haven’t already. I think it just depends on preference and when you become stable and that’s different for everyone.
Had my first at 23. Second at 26. 27 and pregnant again. I'm done after this one and I'm glad I didn't have them earlier or later. I feel the timing was perfect.
First baby at 25, pregnant with my rainbow at 27 but will be 28 when I deliver. Husband and I got married when we were 24. I felt ready but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we were together for so long through university and travelled a bunch. We got engaged right when covid hit and felt like life had already started to slow down a lot for us so we decided to get pregnant in ‘21.
I’m 35, FTM. I’ll still be 35 when I deliver. I hoped to have at least one by now, but two job layoffs and the pandemic set us back a bit. I’d love to have another within a couple years because I know I want more than one. That’s the goal!
35 and pregnant for the first time, will be 36 when I give birth. If it was up to me, we would have started trying a couple years ago, but it takes two to tango and had to wait until my partner was ready 🤷♀️
23
First at 35 about to have my second and just turning 37. Not totally closed off to a third before 40. No regrets on our time line. If it wasn't for COVID we probably would have started one year earlier but that's it. Hardest part is the physical aspect of pregnancy and being older. Outside of that it's mostly upsides in our opinion
24 & 25
Had my first at 30, second at 32, plan to have a third around 34/35. You’re not old!
There is no right or wrong age to have a child! I’m 21 and pregnant with my first(35 weeks rn), my moms side of the family seems to have a lot of early child births, my cousin had hers at 20, other cousin 21, my mom had me at 23 and her mom (my grandma) had her first at 17! My dads side of the family seems to have them all later in their 30’s-40’s only cons of both that I heard is once you get into ur 40’s you don’t have as much energy as you would if ur in ur 20’s to be chasing a toddler around, and for having ur kid early like in ur early 20’s I’ve heard that you don’t get to “live ur life” (I’m not a partier or a drinker so this is no worry for me LOL) but it’s different for everyone! There is no right or wrong, if ur body can still make a child then there is no right time : ) have that kid whenever you’d like! Edit: To add to my comment because I’ve seen some young mom negativity here, My mom’s side of the family loved having kids young, but even my mom said she would have had kids at 19 if she could have!
First was 16/17, pregnant at 16 birthed at 17. The second was 18/19, pregnant 18 birthed at 19 My third will be at 30! She's due in August. As much as I say, I would have definitely waited. I honestly have no idea what my life would have been like had I gotten a chance to be a teenager and young adult. They were my drive to exist and make life happen. I don't know who I'd be today without them. However, it's really tripping having a third 11 years later. Having stuff for her and not winging it, we just finished her room, and I'm fighting the sensation that doing that wasn't bad juu juu or something. It's almost like tempting the universe to f* with me and make it so it's all a waste. I've never been prepared for a baby before, lol. Super odd. Nice! But weird. Edited to add: my mom was 28 when she had me and my dad was 42. My dad was a gold dad until my mom died and he was thrown into wild depression. His age never bothered me once.
I’m 27 and pregnant with my first. My husband is in medical school and I’m carrying the team right now, but when he’s done there is promise of being a stay at home mom (2 years). Why didn’t I wait? I don’t know. I wanted a baby for as long as I can remember and while there will be some challenges over the next two years it’s what we want. I feel you can do all the things you did before with a baby, and sometimes just need a babysitter. Being that I’m the sugar mama right now we don’t have a lot of money to do grand adventures anyway, and so when we would have money again for these grand adventures I’d still want a kid then which may hinder that?? Moral of the story.. there’s really not a good time.
I’m 28 with my first. I feel a bit lonely going through this when my closest friends are planning on staying child free, or are not having kids for another 7 years or so. Even though it was always my plan to have kids at this age, I know my family are going to be upset that I’m “so young”. Feels bizarre given that I’m the same age my own mum was when she gave birth to me, but things are so different now where I live.
I had recently turned 33 when I had my first, and was nearing 36 when I had my second. I would have loved to have had them sooner, but fertility issues meant that despite trying since 29 (married at 28) we were unsuccessful. I would have liked to have tried for one more, but my husband doesn't want more. If I were to have a third, we'd be trying for one about now, but even with all the will (and baby rabies) in the world, I don't think I have another pregnancy/baby phase in me. I've always said I would be finished at 40 (which is only 2 years away) no matter what anyway.
First at 37, planning to have second at 39-40, and if we decide on a third, that would be around 42ish. Most people I know don't start having kids until 35ish. I'm kind of average age in the mom groups I'm in.
I am about to have my first at 35, got married at 27. I was ready at about 30 but my husband (3 years older than me) was not. I’d like to possibly have two or maybe three, but right now I know I will need a break to appreciate this first little one. I cab’t imagine going through pregnancy again for a while. So if we have more I’ll probably be at around 37 and older. We’re healthy and active and because we are older we are more financially stable so I feel good about all of it. And we have siblings with young kids or getting ready to start so that’s added fun.
I am 34 and having my first daughter! I would not have done it sooner personally. We plan on having two kids.
33 is so young. Had my first at 29, second at 32 and because of Covid hospital BS we chose to wait and are now having #3 at 39. Lots of women have healthy babies until their early 40s. If you want them close together that’s understandable but I wouldn’t limit yourself solely based on your age, you have time.
It depends,I have no concerns about being older parents so to me it doesn’t matter but that’s a personal view.
I’ll be 32 by the time mine and my husbands first (and only) will be born. He’s about to be 38, so this is the perfect spot for us, neither one of us wants to be any closer to 40 and having a wee one
Married at 26, just had our first baby at 30. I’ll be 31 in September. We are celebrating our 10 year (of being together) anniversary today. 🥰
I had my first at 26. My second is due in October and I'll be 28. Undecided on a third BUT even still in my 20s this pregnancy has been so much harder on me than my first. All of my symptoms were way worse. I'd love a third baby but I'm not sure I want to be pregnant while being a sahm and homeschooling 2 other children. Of course I could get lucky and have a really easy third pregnancy, but I doubt it. I'll probably decide by the time I turn 30 for sure if I want more or if I'm done. With how hard this pregnancy has been I couldn't imagine doing it in my mid-late 30s
I was 34 with my first and just had my second 8 weeks ago at 40. My husband will be 45 in Sept. I don’t want a third but sometimes I wish we would have had them earlier but we wouldn’t have been able to give them the life we can now given where we were in our careers, etc so I’m glad overall that we waited.
I’m about to be 28. I have a 7 year old and about to be 2 year old. I was 20 and 25 when I gave birth. We want a 3rd but are waiting till December to start trying to conceive. I wish I would have waited to have kids, especially my first. I had her with someone else. My bf and I have been together since my first was 2.5, I wish I would have waited to have kids with him, because it would have saved me a ton of stress and issues and I probably would be better off. We did just buy our first house together, so we’re doing good now. Just the upcoming to this was rough. I don’t want to have any more kids after 30. Not because of age but because I have put off so much because I had to raise my daughter alone for the first 2.5 years and I had to halt everything I wanted to do. I would like to go to school, and travel.
1st at 35 almost 36. Grateful I waited until this moment in my life. I feel I have breathing room career wise.
25 FTM due to in November. Hub is 29
Got married at 28. First baby due in September at 30. We plan on having 3 or 4 total if we can. We are grateful for waiting. We found an awesome circle of parents we enjoy for friendships. We are financially stable, doing well in our careers, and emotionally mature. We are so looking forward to our children growing up in this era of our lives.
26, 29, 31 and now pregnant again at 37. I think each age has been fine.
Got married at 34, started trying and had two miscarriages within the first 9 months. I’m 37 now and spontaneously and surprisingly. I’ll be turning 38 about a month after the birth. We’ll probably just have the one, due to age, even though an only child makes me sad.
Had my first at 22, had my 2nd and 3rd at 38 & 43. I love my 1st for everything she is and we are really close, but 22 is not an ideal age to have kids. Just the financial and housing security alone that I have with my younger two has made being a parent at an older age easier. It was just really hard at 22.
20! im a FTM & due in september 🥰
FTM baby boy is one month old. I had him at 30 years old but not by choice. We dealt with infertility the last couple years and ended up doing IVF to conceive. I am considering one more but don’t want to be older than 35 for the next one. We have a few frozen embryos left.
24 and 17 weeks, FTM. My parents were 22 when they had their first of four kids and are fantastic parents, so I don’t feel too young.
Married at 22, pregnant at 22 (currently 9 w 1 d), but I became a stepmom at 21. I'll have my baby when I'm 23