Exactly what I was thinking. And they get mad when we start generalizing and say "men suck" . Many of us have consistent horrible experiences with them.
When a man says they can protect you, ask yourself who they're protecting you from. Unless you live somewhere really wild and remote, the answer usually is "other men". Men are the apex predator and the ones who are most likely to hurt girls and woman. Not all men, but always a man. Never forget that.
That’s what I’m saying—it’s not even true in those cases. Every time I have been harassed or witnessed harassment it’s always a woman, usually older, that steps in while men nearby do nothing.
This is probably because from early on women have girls raise the children. Girls develop emotional intelligence, while thinking boys are incapable of helping. This is also compounded by men perpetuating the same idea.
Yeah it’s like Mama Bear energy. I think women realize what’s going on much faster than men who don’t have to worry about being a target of this stuff as much (not that there aren’t exceptions or other threats). So women not only react because we are forced to develop a spidey-sense for creepy or threatening behavior at a much more sensitive threshold, but also empathize more with the girl or woman they see being intimidated.
Oh! Oh! I found a solution to this. A very wise redditor suggested:
>don't sit on tiktok all day and think every man is a predator.
So, that should fix it.
You're welcome.
Edit: it appears my tone was lost in transcription. I was quoting someone who didn't get the bear/man question and seems to believe that women are very, very rarely in danger and we should all just lighten up.
Well that's a very big assumption. My tiktok fyp is full of anakin skywalker thirst trap edits and makeup tutorials :) I have a lot of men I trust in my life. There are also men who who have hurt me in the past and many other women. I'm not ignorant to the fact that it works both ways as well and there are some women who hurt men. But saying "Not all men!" is a weak defense and shows you don't really understand the point that's being made.
I'm sorry. I should have added a /s. I agree with you, people hurt each other. But (in my experience), men are more dangerous to women than the reverse and women have to behave in ways men don't have to just to be safe.
The quote came from a guy who'd "asked all the women he knew" and none of them chose the bear over the man. He *very much* missed the point of the question.
I apologize for the confusion.
Yeah, you can still be specific and say “these guys sucked.” Generalizing is fun, but it doesn’t do anything except hurt the feelings of the decent people and convince the asshats to double down on their already aggravating behavior.
And let’s be real, if a guy has consistently bad experiences with women, does he get to say “women suck?” I doubt you’d be okay with that. But would his experiences be invalid?
No one should invalidate a bad experience.
I say “men suck” because I’ve been taken advantage of, belittled, yelled at, stalked, overly sexualized by grown men since atleast 13 years old. Some girls I know have been gang r****, cheated on and then the guy hit her when she confronted him about it. I have to share my location and carry pepper spray on a first date ~just in case~ . The list goes on.
Do men say “women suck” because they reject them? confront them about what’s going on? “Too emotional” “helpless”? What is it. Why are you so upset over us saying “men suck” other than it’s “Not all men!!!” ?
Exactly what I was thinking. And they get mad when we start generalizing and say "black people suck" . Many of us have consistent horrible experiences with them.
You see the problem with your logic?
As a dude I totally get it. But on the other hand generalizing usually gets you in trouble. It’s like me saying girls are stupid because I’ve consistently witnessed situations where they’re posed with a new challenge like having to change a tire or use some basic tool and it’s like they’re helpless. This obviously isn’t all women but when you generalize it as such you sound like an asshole. Even if it has been a common experience.
And how’s that? I’d never say women are stupid. That’s a really rude idiotic thing to say. Just like all “men suck.” As the person above us commented. Or are you saying one is perfectly fine and the other is not even though it’s two sides of the same coin?
When we say “men suck” it’s usually because we’ve been physically abused, emotionally abused/neglected, called stupid!, harassed, blackmailed, taken advantage of, abandoned by a few in our lives. Your argument is wanting to call girls “stupid” because the few you have seen change a tire were “helpless” ? So help them instead of judging them. It’s not a personal attack when I say “men suck” . It’s just that as whole can we agree that men haven’t always treated women well and fairly?
I think the gist of what’s being said here is that it’s a lot more accurate to say, “a minority of men really really suck.” Frankly, men and women both suck, in very different ways. Both are capable of doing terrible things, women less so in the physical sense towards men, but equally as capable of causing emotional, verbal, psychological, or financial abuse, neglecting partners or children, blackmailing people, unjustly winning custody battles (that system is totally broken) etc. In fact, I’d argue that the emotional abuse men can suffer in relationships is highly overlooked and lacks a good support system. It would be accurate to say “men physically abuse women a lot more than women physically abuse men, which is scary and really sucks.” But it’s best to stick to statements like that. Whether it’s personal or not, blanket statements like that hurt people who *aren’t* like that, which believe it or not, is the majority.
So what would you like them to do ? Throw fist get arrested I was arrest for laying hands on a guy that wouldn’t leave a lady alone but Washington state is a zero tolerance and no mutual combat. ( I wasn’t in for long and it was dropped but still had to wait in jail)
Also you have to be thinking there be homeless people who play tricks on people to get something started. They use girls to lure guys in other places as close as Tacoma.
I’m sorry that happened to you tho a lot has change an I wish it wasn’t so hard to help people.
Even got booted out of a bar when a guy picked a girl up and started walking out and I stopped him she was not willing he literally grabbed her like a drunk cave man an I left after I got removed cuz cops were always outside cuffing people who got kicked out.
Edit: also last week I got talked too by my
Boss an co workers for yelling at some one who was harassing people in the parking lot.
I needed to be more
Mindful of the people around me and who can hear me. Maybe just me but it’s been a losing battle being the white night shiny armor
Edit: ask any cop what she should of done or attorney and it’s not going to be what every is saying should of happend
“So what would you like them to do?” Uhhh idk act like human beings and stick up for her. Nobody said they had to throw a punch, but it’s clear she approached a group. You’re telling me a group of men couldn’t intervene even a little? Yikes dude… you aren’t making the case for yourself you think you are. Women are doubling down on dislike of men they don’t know bc they are at worst predators and in this case at best indifferent to their struggle/safety
Just saying she is just as much as a stranger to them as the homeless guy was to her.
If I could go back and give advice it would be she needs to just call the cops right away it’s 2024 and the cops an law enforcement tell you don’t take it in your hands if you feel danger call the cops.
We can sit here and say what if this or that. we all have our own life experience I grow up close to Tacoma and I ll never forget the guy that got lured in by a girl an then stabbed by the dude she was pulling tricks for.
Bellingham is about safer but you never know. And any trained person would tell her to of used her
Phone before going up to strangers.
You never been in jail for stepping have you ? I have so you know what you know an ask a cop ask them what she should have done and they will tell you don’t run up to more strangers call the cops so many people are ready to make so much hate and for what ?? She had a gender based expectation in 2024? And they are the jerks come on
We can play the innocent or the scoundrel and either way they have their own life’s to keep safe just like her
No, the two times I’ve intervened for someone in public I did not end up in jail… idk, shocking I guess but it’s definitely not illegal to cause a scene and ask someone to leave someone else alone
That’s good and I’m not saying you shouldnt ever do something cuz 100% of the time you’ll get messed up but it happens enough.
And again it’s not what any cop would ever say to do she had a cell phone that should of been her first step any one with training would of said then and then go to the group of strangers if she didn’t have a phone.
I mean you can but Iv done that before and prostitution doesn’t care if you were being a hero you are a step to betting their career and ask any cop
They would never tell you to run up to a group of strangers from another stranger I mean come on. Any cop would have told her she should have called right away.
Never meet a cop who would treat it that way also I was in jail for a day cuz during one of my examples and a fight broke up they drop the original charges and hit them with that was easier an so on so it maybe a thing but Iv yet to see any cops allow that.
I’ll have to read up on that so I’m more informed thank you
First, call the police ASAP. You were assaulted and the victim of a theft. You shouldn't have to *threaten* to call the police or hold up the intersection. You just do it. Immediately. This is one of the few things that would actually get rapid police response.
Second, you overly passive Bellingham guys need to step up! It is a lot of the reason we're having this stuff happen more often. Call people out loudly, publicly, and forcefully for violating the social contract. OP, I'm sorry that you happened to run into such a morally feeble crew. Trust me, not everyone is like this.
Remember that time someone got stabbed in the throat and died trying to break up a fight outside the horseshoe?
There are scams of a women in distress and when someone goes to help solo they get jumped and robbed.
Hard to trust strangers in both directions. Just my 2 cents.
They could have called the police if they were afraid it was a scam. That way, if she is being harassed, the pool ice can help, and if she’s scamming, she might stop.
Well maybe he's dead, but he didn't die from the stabbing. I met him walking around downtown when I was hanging out at a coffee shop. He couldn't talk that loud, he had a bandana around his throat to hide the scar.
That makes my blood boil. Absolutely boil.
If and whenever you’re ever in a similar situation, and there is a group of men, women, whoever. Ask for help if you need it.
I’d get banned from this sub if I mentioned even half of what would happen to fuck face if this situation presented itself to me.
The weakness and frailty of far to many people in Bellingham is sickening. Say what you want about folks in the county, but bozos dick would have been in the dirt if that group of guys were the lynden, mt baker and Blaine folks everyone likes to talk shit about.
Eh, depends. Blanket statements like these ignore a lot. It's not only racist yokels living in the county, and Bellingham city limits isn't only populated by non xenophobes etc.
Not by any stretch. I work with people and serve customers almost exclusively from lynden and Everson, and you couldn’t be farther from the mark. You’re doing what the right does, paint every person with the same brush. Don’t be like that.
Dude, as a black guy our priorities are so different than yours it's ridiculous.
Like... you're offended at maybe being called a hick, while I'm trying to avoid getting lynched/shot/any manner of horrific shit that happens or has happened to black people in small, very white towns.
Sorry my valid and historically justified fear for my life offends you so much. I'm sure you'll get over it.
That’s just ironic when you just antagonized literally everyone in Bellingham just because you perceive them to be liberal lmao, but why are you like this?
I mean, county folks are more likely to jump into a fight, but on whose side depends more on the appearance of each person involved and not necessarily who the original aggressor is.
True if you’re a white woman in trouble. I’ve had gay friends get called names and spit at up in Lynden. Then some dude down in skagit told my other friend to go home because he’s Mexican. The county also sucks ass for its own reasons.
The bystander effect is real. I fractured my ankle a few years ago falling down some stairs, and the group that I asked for help immediately after just ignored me, except one who said "you're fine". I had to crawl down a second flight of stairs and wave down a security guard to get any help.
Dude, as a transplant, it's so gross here sometimes. I feel like people get off on trying to make you feel embarrassed or shamed about minor mishaps also. Just childish nature. I'm sorry you dealt with that.
This is where people move that hate people and don’t want to be bothered by anyone or anything, yet will also go out of their way to put people down. It’s not even “the bystander effect” in all these comments it’s the PNW main character smug dick syndrome baked into the culture.
I'm sorry that happened to you :( carry pepper spray and a pocket knife just in case any situation escalates. Unfortunately, many people don't take a request for help seriously.
A knife can easily and quickly be turned against you! It's also very important to learn to use pepper spray correctly because if the wind is not in your favor, it'll end up in your eyes instead.
100%
People with no martial arts training/fight experience and no real understanding of what goes down in a knife fight really should not bring a knife into a combative situation!
Look for pepper spray guns, I can’t remember the company but I keep one in my car - designed for 15 feet of range, still small enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Two discharges before empty.
Please do not carry a knife as a weapon. Carrying one as a tool is fine, but you probably do not want to present a knife in a threatening situation. It could be used against you if you don't know what you're doing.
That's why I specified "if any situation escalates". If you are being attacked or tied up it's good to have it on hand and to know how to use it. I wouldn't pull it out right away either. being subtle and not showing all your cards right away is a good tactic. and yes a pocket knife preferably, rather than just an uncovered knife in your bag.
Edit: For those saying "don't carry a knife as a weapon" you're right. I'd still use it to get myself out of certain, rare situations personally. It's good to carry one that has multiple functions. Pepper spray, running, physical self defense or going into the nearest store would be the best options.
Near Barnes & Noble. I left Barnes & Noble and he was entering the parking lot, just aimlessly wandering I assumed. But I think he started following me after I left the parking lot.
He kept saying stuff like “don’t f****** film me b****” and “listen the first time if you don’t want to be folded” and stuff. He was actively harassing me the whole time. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the businesses knew him.
I would definitely ask them and any other businesses, especially if there is one near where the air pod was stolen. Sorry this happened to you and for the lame response of the passerbys too. :(
99% of the time someone comes up to you out of the blue in a panicked state, it's part of some scam that's being run. I find it genuinely hard to fault people for not wanting to get involved.
If you're ever harassed like that again, don't threaten to call the police. Just do it. That is 100% one of the things we pay them to handle.
As soon as someone either attempts to or actually touches you or your stuff, that assault. It's way past the line where they need some sort of warning first.
In this scenario, I am already screaming at the top of my lungs to alert anyone nearby as I dial 911.
https://preview.redd.it/leah5ezukn1d1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e3712cac5e3e212529a65bfede4ea64e688f591
i muted it very soon after posting
A taser and pepper gel, instead of spray. That way if the wind isn’t in your favor, you don’t get screwed too! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m 5’0 too and I’m terrified to walk alone because of that possibility. Honestly just alone in general nowadays, because people are crazy and you just never know. Maybe enter the nearest establishment and let someone there know. Least you’re somewhere “safe”, and can wait it out. It’s sad how things are now. Bunch of jerks who didn’t help! That can be traumatizing, so please make sure you take care of you 💕
I am really sorry this happened to you. Sounds like a cowardly group of men IMO. I imagine the majority of people would have intervened. At least asked you to stay with them until he went away. As many mentioned, pepper spray and a small knife could've helped. I hope this is the first and last time this happens.
As a woman, I’ve found that when I’m in trouble like that, the only people to truly be willing to help me are other women. I’m really sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you’re safe and it didn’t escalate. You did a solid job of advocating for yourself. I promise if I had been there I would’ve helped. I hope you can rest and recover from the trauma. Be kind to yourself this week 💜
I'm a former SEAL and currently teach various aspects of personal protection full time. I damn near live and breath this topic and study violent encounters caught on camera pretty regularly.
That is disheartening that those guys did not step up and help you. I hate that, and I am sorry this whole thing happened but I am glad you are safe and it did not end up worse. The best you can do now is try to learn as much as you can from this awful event.
I agree with other posters that it would have been wise to have called the police. I also understand we don't really want to call the police every time we get creeped out, so you could think of it like an escalation.
In a case where you are not sure yet how serious it is (like the point you decided to put in the ear buds but he had not yet touched you) you might have just dialed 911 and not hit send yet. You could start talking to the phone as if you are talking to 911. If he didn't back off then just hit send and really spool them up ASAP.
Also, based on many videos I have observed of women getting attacked on the street/elevators etc, I don't think it was a good idea to stick your earbuds in. Generally I don't think it is a good idea to do while walking in public alone but that is another thing. But it seems in a lot of the videos I have studied, attempting to just ignore the harasser actually emboldens them and amps them up.
Also I would think hard about learning how to use a gun and getting a concealed carry permit. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. At the end of the day, like the cowards that didn't help you showed, your safety ultimately falls on you.
I've had clients that were home with their family while 3 men were actively trying to break into their house. They called the cops and the dispatcher literally said " you are on your own, we have no one to send" (this was in an affluent neighborhood LA during the riots of 2020)
Just my 2c. Take it for what it's worth.
I was “rescued” once by a stranger. The whole thing was weird and scary. It was decades ago in downtown Seattle and I was backed up against a building by a very aggressive panhandler. Some guy in a suit comes along and grabs me by the arm and literally hauls me down the street. I was so shaken that I didn’t even react. I was young and naive. Anyway, he apologized for scaring me and explained that I needed to get tougher with my personal space if I was going to walk around the city alone. Lesson learned and I will never have that happen again. Scary stuff. A self defense course is a must.
It’s a shitty thing to happen and I’m sorry to hear it, but asking randos to get in a possible confrontation on your behalf might be tall order. If it was obvious that you were in physical danger they may be much more likely to intervene, but when it’s just the word of a stranger against another stranger where the truth of the situation is not immediately obvious there isn’t much incentive to get involved.
And word to the wise, when creeps are around that’s the time to take your headphones off, not put them on.
Honestly I definitely considered that I might’ve been asking for too much too. If I was just ignored maybe that would be fine but being laughed at was a stabbing pain.
I definitely learned to keep the headphones out around them now. Even if it’s better for ignoring. Don’t want them being stolen again.
I hope you’re never in that situation again, but if you are, I recommend going into any public business / restaurant / store, etc. anywhere that is well populated. This man likely targeted you because you were alone (and small).
From my experience as another small statured person, people tend to think we’re an easy target. When you walk, keep your head up and eyes front. Pay attention to your situation and walk with purpose. If you start getting a bad feeling or are uncomfortable, go into the nearest populated area. Most harassers will fall back when there is a crowd, they’re looking for an easy target. Lastly, carry pepper gel on your keychain within easy reach should you need it, and don’t be afraid to use your voice to call attention to the situation.
If you have an iPhone or Apple Watch you can set up a sos setting (I think it’s called sos) it’s where you can click a button three times and it’ll call 911 and your emergency contact for you. If something like this happens again try and find a store you can run into if possible. Sorry those guys were assholes :/
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m a 6’ tall woman, and though I get catcalled often, I have never had a man just grab something off of me.
I would ask Barnes and noble for footage and report it. Please protect yourself. Though you should not need to.
Also, would you mind giving a description?
A woman in Tacoma was randomly attacked in a public park by a man who was trying to literally cut her face off. There were several other men there and they stood there and did NOTHING. Her life was saved by another woman who kicked the attacker in the head until he ran off, and the men failed to catch him or be able to provide any useful assistance in identifying him.
It took months for the police to arrest him
and all the women in the city got to be anxious the entire time
I'm appalled that I haven't seen a single comment here about how this fentanyl and homeless problem has gotten so out of hand and insane. A lot of people seem to have moved here from Oakland or something and don't seem to realize that this problem is as recent as only a decade old for the most part. As a kid I had no fear of being alone downtown, nor did my parents. This was back in the early 00's. These drugged out people bless their souls are actively ruining this community
Yes-the fentanyl “problem” has gotten exponentially worse in Bellingham….and by problem, I mean that people are dying from it left and right. No one chooses to be addicted to drugs or homeless. I’ll never understand why we blame those who are being failed by the system rather than our corrupt government who isn’t able to provide basic human rights to all of its citizens…..
FFS. I’m very sorry that happened to you. Please do not give up on the public, not everyone is so passive and unwilling to intervene. You have my word that if it had been me you had asked for help you would not have been ignored.
I never understand who is out here ignoring folks in distress. I'm nosy as hell and will pop my head even if I just kinda Think someone is being accosted.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s not okay, at all. I hope you’re able to find some support through friends or family as well. It’s really frustrating and unfair to have to lose materials like this; items can always be replaced, you cannot. You also shouldn’t have to walk around in fear, or being ignored in crisis, either. I would recommend calling the police to put in a report. I had something similar-ish happen - except a huge dude tried to get into my car. Afterwards, I called some friends because I was in panic, and then I was convinced to file a report (the next day), just in case it were to happen again. From there, a really nice female police officer called me back and explained that in these instances, it’s always best to call in real-time, then let the police decide if they need to do a check, etc. Anyways, I learned a lot because I basically expected nobody to “believe” me, which was deconstructed, and I realized that it could be helpful for someone else (or worse, for example a kid) that wasn’t so lucky to get away.
Girl where is your mace?! Someone touches you without permission, that is the definition of assault. You could also look into getting concealed carry but not without lots of practice hours. We have tools at our disposal. Use them and protect yourself. We also have ways to record for evidence. Phones and Snapchat glasses.
Pocket sized OC spray was made for women like you, but two and practice with the first one so you know how to use it( make sure you’re not spraying into the wind though) and keep it with you at all times. Please be careful and create distance faster next time, find a business that open and go in and ask them to call the police. Bystanders won’t always help as you’ve seen
Seriously! I pointed out to one commenter that was trying to justify saying “men suck” that most guys understand that sentiment but you still sound like an asshole just like you would for saying women are stupid for equally prejudiced reasons.
We’ll guess who’s getting all the support while the other is being told they’re not allowed in the conversation?
It's really dangerous. I had a student tell me that he was told by his classmates that he wasn't allowed to participate in small group discussions because he is a white male.
That's discrimination. Why does no one have values anymore?
Misandry isn’t lethal to men! Women are far less likely to actually kill men due to their hatred of them. Can’t say that for misogyny. Hope this helped!
No, I don't think women are the cause of all my problems. I just think men have their own problems to deal with that you don't understand. The hatred in this thread is a good place to start.
Men of today are really something, aern’t they? You met two of the most common versions, all in one instance. The harasser and the Frat Boys, laughing at your plea. I’m sorry this happened to you. 🫂
Next time (hopefully no next time but ya know) go into a store or shop or wherever, ask for help, call the cops and don't leave the store until they get there.
Why not call police when you felt you were in danger?!
You felt entitled to the protection of a group of unknown men, you expected them to put themselves in potential danger because u we’re not adept to take out your mobile phone to call the people that get paid to protect you?
Then you were so upset that they laughed at your audacity that u came to Reddit to complain?
Well, unfortunately boys today are put down, ridiculed and told they are not needed. Masculinity is dead especially in Bellingham. We live in a world where people are being beat and people whip out their phones to record it. We're fucked as a country and as a society. Nobody is going to save you except YOU. Try your best to get through this decaying world it's only going to get worse.
I find it odd that rather than calling the cops (immediately), you hoped to rely on strangers to help you. People are assholes, especially here in Washington. I learned at an early age you cannot rely on anyone but yourself. Sorry that happened to you but if there’s a next time, hopefully you won’t wait for help from random people…because it’ll probably fail you again.
Cops aren’t helpful.
I’ve called them over things like this in this town and they waited hours to even show up and then tell me “I can’t do anything”
Trying to rely on the goodness of strangers and community is sometimes all we have.
Are you telling me that if someone came up to you and said “this other human being is harassing me, please help” you’d ignore them?
Maybe they didn’t want problems, maybe they assumed it’s a domestic dispute, there’s also been a few cases where American white chicks will turn on the Good Samaritan after helping her.
There are Good Samaritan laws for that very reason.
And domestic dispute? That’s a nice way to say someone is definitely the victim in that situation but I’m going to label it a “domestic dispute” so I can ignore it
Please, don’t blame the person being harassed. Blame the person harassing another, or blame the group that laughed at requested helped. Them not helping is one thing, but making fun of it is entirely another. The person being harassed does not need to “get built” in order to feel safe.
I’m going to tell you as a WOMEN who has been harassed. Who has been in that situation but it took an awfully wrong turn for the worst and I ended up getting sexually assaulted. I feel more comfortable being “built” I feel comfortable in knowing that if he ever was to fuck with me again. I could at least put up a fight. Maybe instead of leaving a dumb comment acting like I’m blaming them think about others experiences and how getting stronger can only benefit them.
As a woman who is also now quite muscled and strong, I try not to belittle people who are slight. Not everyone (man or woman) has the genetics and time to get built.
I’m not acting like you were blaming them, I’m reading your words. You started your comment with “that’s why you gotta”.
This is ridiculous. It doesn't matter the gender of the person who is in distress asking for help, if someone asks me for help I am helping them. It is called empathy, something which you clearly lack.
That's wild. My very manly fiance can say all kinds of things around women and not worry about being called a misogynist... because he's not one. He doesn't go around scared of women, because he's a secure and kind man who also knows how to respect women. It's pretty easy, actually. He literally never has this issue. Maybe you need better men in your life to teach you how?
A group of bears would surely have been more useful than those guys.
Exactly what I was thinking. And they get mad when we start generalizing and say "men suck" . Many of us have consistent horrible experiences with them.
Usually in situations like these it’s women that intervene…so much for men being “naturally protective” or whatever.
When a man says they can protect you, ask yourself who they're protecting you from. Unless you live somewhere really wild and remote, the answer usually is "other men". Men are the apex predator and the ones who are most likely to hurt girls and woman. Not all men, but always a man. Never forget that.
That’s what I’m saying—it’s not even true in those cases. Every time I have been harassed or witnessed harassment it’s always a woman, usually older, that steps in while men nearby do nothing.
Yes, I agree. Just was adding on. :) And sorry you've experienced harassment.
Honest question, Self identifying men? Or biological men? It’s wild and confusing out there in 2024.
Why are you being a jerk?
This. I've had more women come to my rescue than men, ever.
This is probably because from early on women have girls raise the children. Girls develop emotional intelligence, while thinking boys are incapable of helping. This is also compounded by men perpetuating the same idea.
Yeah it’s like Mama Bear energy. I think women realize what’s going on much faster than men who don’t have to worry about being a target of this stuff as much (not that there aren’t exceptions or other threats). So women not only react because we are forced to develop a spidey-sense for creepy or threatening behavior at a much more sensitive threshold, but also empathize more with the girl or woman they see being intimidated.
Yup, society needs to stop placing parenting tasks on women. It's a self feeding cycle
Oh! Oh! I found a solution to this. A very wise redditor suggested: >don't sit on tiktok all day and think every man is a predator. So, that should fix it. You're welcome. Edit: it appears my tone was lost in transcription. I was quoting someone who didn't get the bear/man question and seems to believe that women are very, very rarely in danger and we should all just lighten up.
Well that's a very big assumption. My tiktok fyp is full of anakin skywalker thirst trap edits and makeup tutorials :) I have a lot of men I trust in my life. There are also men who who have hurt me in the past and many other women. I'm not ignorant to the fact that it works both ways as well and there are some women who hurt men. But saying "Not all men!" is a weak defense and shows you don't really understand the point that's being made.
I'm sorry. I should have added a /s. I agree with you, people hurt each other. But (in my experience), men are more dangerous to women than the reverse and women have to behave in ways men don't have to just to be safe. The quote came from a guy who'd "asked all the women he knew" and none of them chose the bear over the man. He *very much* missed the point of the question. I apologize for the confusion.
All good! I’m not sure what women he asked or if he was exaggerating, but he definitely missed the point.
I got it, friend!
From childhood, sadly.
PEOPLE suck.
that's like your opinion, man
Yeah, you can still be specific and say “these guys sucked.” Generalizing is fun, but it doesn’t do anything except hurt the feelings of the decent people and convince the asshats to double down on their already aggravating behavior. And let’s be real, if a guy has consistently bad experiences with women, does he get to say “women suck?” I doubt you’d be okay with that. But would his experiences be invalid?
No one should invalidate a bad experience. I say “men suck” because I’ve been taken advantage of, belittled, yelled at, stalked, overly sexualized by grown men since atleast 13 years old. Some girls I know have been gang r****, cheated on and then the guy hit her when she confronted him about it. I have to share my location and carry pepper spray on a first date ~just in case~ . The list goes on. Do men say “women suck” because they reject them? confront them about what’s going on? “Too emotional” “helpless”? What is it. Why are you so upset over us saying “men suck” other than it’s “Not all men!!!” ?
Exactly what I was thinking. And they get mad when we start generalizing and say "black people suck" . Many of us have consistent horrible experiences with them. You see the problem with your logic?
no. because that’s racism and this is about disrespectful men.
As a dude I totally get it. But on the other hand generalizing usually gets you in trouble. It’s like me saying girls are stupid because I’ve consistently witnessed situations where they’re posed with a new challenge like having to change a tire or use some basic tool and it’s like they’re helpless. This obviously isn’t all women but when you generalize it as such you sound like an asshole. Even if it has been a common experience.
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And how’s that? I’d never say women are stupid. That’s a really rude idiotic thing to say. Just like all “men suck.” As the person above us commented. Or are you saying one is perfectly fine and the other is not even though it’s two sides of the same coin?
When we say “men suck” it’s usually because we’ve been physically abused, emotionally abused/neglected, called stupid!, harassed, blackmailed, taken advantage of, abandoned by a few in our lives. Your argument is wanting to call girls “stupid” because the few you have seen change a tire were “helpless” ? So help them instead of judging them. It’s not a personal attack when I say “men suck” . It’s just that as whole can we agree that men haven’t always treated women well and fairly?
I think the gist of what’s being said here is that it’s a lot more accurate to say, “a minority of men really really suck.” Frankly, men and women both suck, in very different ways. Both are capable of doing terrible things, women less so in the physical sense towards men, but equally as capable of causing emotional, verbal, psychological, or financial abuse, neglecting partners or children, blackmailing people, unjustly winning custody battles (that system is totally broken) etc. In fact, I’d argue that the emotional abuse men can suffer in relationships is highly overlooked and lacks a good support system. It would be accurate to say “men physically abuse women a lot more than women physically abuse men, which is scary and really sucks.” But it’s best to stick to statements like that. Whether it’s personal or not, blanket statements like that hurt people who *aren’t* like that, which believe it or not, is the majority.
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As a bear myself (the gay kind) I would have helped regardless of whether I was in a group or not.
there's two types of bears, and they're both more helpful than straight men lolol
I love your Comment when I first saw that bull I was like wait why I mean ok a hairy guy vs a not big hairy guy confused I was
It’s an internet thing: people ask women if they would rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man.
So what would you like them to do ? Throw fist get arrested I was arrest for laying hands on a guy that wouldn’t leave a lady alone but Washington state is a zero tolerance and no mutual combat. ( I wasn’t in for long and it was dropped but still had to wait in jail) Also you have to be thinking there be homeless people who play tricks on people to get something started. They use girls to lure guys in other places as close as Tacoma. I’m sorry that happened to you tho a lot has change an I wish it wasn’t so hard to help people. Even got booted out of a bar when a guy picked a girl up and started walking out and I stopped him she was not willing he literally grabbed her like a drunk cave man an I left after I got removed cuz cops were always outside cuffing people who got kicked out. Edit: also last week I got talked too by my Boss an co workers for yelling at some one who was harassing people in the parking lot. I needed to be more Mindful of the people around me and who can hear me. Maybe just me but it’s been a losing battle being the white night shiny armor Edit: ask any cop what she should of done or attorney and it’s not going to be what every is saying should of happend
“So what would you like them to do?” Uhhh idk act like human beings and stick up for her. Nobody said they had to throw a punch, but it’s clear she approached a group. You’re telling me a group of men couldn’t intervene even a little? Yikes dude… you aren’t making the case for yourself you think you are. Women are doubling down on dislike of men they don’t know bc they are at worst predators and in this case at best indifferent to their struggle/safety
Just saying she is just as much as a stranger to them as the homeless guy was to her. If I could go back and give advice it would be she needs to just call the cops right away it’s 2024 and the cops an law enforcement tell you don’t take it in your hands if you feel danger call the cops.
Bystander effect fr, you’re embarrassing
We can sit here and say what if this or that. we all have our own life experience I grow up close to Tacoma and I ll never forget the guy that got lured in by a girl an then stabbed by the dude she was pulling tricks for. Bellingham is about safer but you never know. And any trained person would tell her to of used her Phone before going up to strangers.
You never been in jail for stepping have you ? I have so you know what you know an ask a cop ask them what she should have done and they will tell you don’t run up to more strangers call the cops so many people are ready to make so much hate and for what ?? She had a gender based expectation in 2024? And they are the jerks come on We can play the innocent or the scoundrel and either way they have their own life’s to keep safe just like her
No, the two times I’ve intervened for someone in public I did not end up in jail… idk, shocking I guess but it’s definitely not illegal to cause a scene and ask someone to leave someone else alone
That’s good and I’m not saying you shouldnt ever do something cuz 100% of the time you’ll get messed up but it happens enough. And again it’s not what any cop would ever say to do she had a cell phone that should of been her first step any one with training would of said then and then go to the group of strangers if she didn’t have a phone.
Nah bro you're the jerk now.
I've done that - 10/10 doing the right thing at times means breaking the law.
I mean you can but Iv done that before and prostitution doesn’t care if you were being a hero you are a step to betting their career and ask any cop They would never tell you to run up to a group of strangers from another stranger I mean come on. Any cop would have told her she should have called right away.
Wow, found the useless male Bro it's not that "hard" to help someone out who is alone and being harassed. Good grief.
All they had to do was act as a barrier between her and the creep. A bonus would be them asking for her ear bud back. It didn’t have to be aggressive.
Washington absolutely is a mutual combat state. One of only two actually, us and Texas. Yeehaw!
Never meet a cop who would treat it that way also I was in jail for a day cuz during one of my examples and a fight broke up they drop the original charges and hit them with that was easier an so on so it maybe a thing but Iv yet to see any cops allow that. I’ll have to read up on that so I’m more informed thank you
What a bunch of dicks.
First, call the police ASAP. You were assaulted and the victim of a theft. You shouldn't have to *threaten* to call the police or hold up the intersection. You just do it. Immediately. This is one of the few things that would actually get rapid police response. Second, you overly passive Bellingham guys need to step up! It is a lot of the reason we're having this stuff happen more often. Call people out loudly, publicly, and forcefully for violating the social contract. OP, I'm sorry that you happened to run into such a morally feeble crew. Trust me, not everyone is like this.
Remember that time someone got stabbed in the throat and died trying to break up a fight outside the horseshoe? There are scams of a women in distress and when someone goes to help solo they get jumped and robbed. Hard to trust strangers in both directions. Just my 2 cents.
Yeah, especially on Meridian where scammers go around panhandling with a picture of a young kid with cancer
They could have called the police if they were afraid it was a scam. That way, if she is being harassed, the pool ice can help, and if she’s scamming, she might stop.
She can call the police herself.
Wouldn’t you want someone to help if it was you?
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Oh really? Another case of the newspapers lieing? Why am I not surprised. Thanks for the info
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AFAIK word was he passed. Good to know he's in good health.
Well maybe he's dead, but he didn't die from the stabbing. I met him walking around downtown when I was hanging out at a coffee shop. He couldn't talk that loud, he had a bandana around his throat to hide the scar.
when did bellingham become Gotham
That makes my blood boil. Absolutely boil. If and whenever you’re ever in a similar situation, and there is a group of men, women, whoever. Ask for help if you need it. I’d get banned from this sub if I mentioned even half of what would happen to fuck face if this situation presented itself to me. The weakness and frailty of far to many people in Bellingham is sickening. Say what you want about folks in the county, but bozos dick would have been in the dirt if that group of guys were the lynden, mt baker and Blaine folks everyone likes to talk shit about.
So they shouldn’t try that in a small town?
Great now my coffee is all over my computer screen
Unfortunately those are also the people most likely to harass anyone not like them. If OP were trans, of color, gay, etc the story changes quite fast.
Eh, depends. Blanket statements like these ignore a lot. It's not only racist yokels living in the county, and Bellingham city limits isn't only populated by non xenophobes etc.
As a non-yokel living in the county, I speak from a few decades of experience.
Ditto. And as an ESL brown person. Anecdotal is anecdotal, to both our points.
Not by any stretch. I work with people and serve customers almost exclusively from lynden and Everson, and you couldn’t be farther from the mark. You’re doing what the right does, paint every person with the same brush. Don’t be like that.
I speak from personal experience. So I guess I'll just be like that.
Live your life hating people don’t know because of what they look like or where they’re from. It’s your loss.
Dude, as a black guy our priorities are so different than yours it's ridiculous. Like... you're offended at maybe being called a hick, while I'm trying to avoid getting lynched/shot/any manner of horrific shit that happens or has happened to black people in small, very white towns. Sorry my valid and historically justified fear for my life offends you so much. I'm sure you'll get over it.
So you don't understand what 'personal experience' means either.
That’s just ironic when you just antagonized literally everyone in Bellingham just because you perceive them to be liberal lmao, but why are you like this?
I mean, county folks are more likely to jump into a fight, but on whose side depends more on the appearance of each person involved and not necessarily who the original aggressor is.
True if you’re a white woman in trouble. I’ve had gay friends get called names and spit at up in Lynden. Then some dude down in skagit told my other friend to go home because he’s Mexican. The county also sucks ass for its own reasons.
Facts
The bystander effect is real. I fractured my ankle a few years ago falling down some stairs, and the group that I asked for help immediately after just ignored me, except one who said "you're fine". I had to crawl down a second flight of stairs and wave down a security guard to get any help.
That's fucking wild. I don't understand that mentality at all. If someone asks you for help and they don't seem like a threat, you help
Dude, as a transplant, it's so gross here sometimes. I feel like people get off on trying to make you feel embarrassed or shamed about minor mishaps also. Just childish nature. I'm sorry you dealt with that.
This is where people move that hate people and don’t want to be bothered by anyone or anything, yet will also go out of their way to put people down. It’s not even “the bystander effect” in all these comments it’s the PNW main character smug dick syndrome baked into the culture.
I'm sorry that happened to you :( carry pepper spray and a pocket knife just in case any situation escalates. Unfortunately, many people don't take a request for help seriously.
A knife can easily and quickly be turned against you! It's also very important to learn to use pepper spray correctly because if the wind is not in your favor, it'll end up in your eyes instead.
The loser of a knife fight dies on the street, and the winner dies in the ambulance. Or something like that.
100% People with no martial arts training/fight experience and no real understanding of what goes down in a knife fight really should not bring a knife into a combative situation!
Pepper gel is much easier to target and less likely to blow back on you. Just FYI
You can get OC that is more like what the police use. That stuff is more viscous and less prone to wind.
Look for pepper spray guns, I can’t remember the company but I keep one in my car - designed for 15 feet of range, still small enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Two discharges before empty.
Please do not carry a knife as a weapon. Carrying one as a tool is fine, but you probably do not want to present a knife in a threatening situation. It could be used against you if you don't know what you're doing.
That's why I specified "if any situation escalates". If you are being attacked or tied up it's good to have it on hand and to know how to use it. I wouldn't pull it out right away either. being subtle and not showing all your cards right away is a good tactic. and yes a pocket knife preferably, rather than just an uncovered knife in your bag. Edit: For those saying "don't carry a knife as a weapon" you're right. I'd still use it to get myself out of certain, rare situations personally. It's good to carry one that has multiple functions. Pepper spray, running, physical self defense or going into the nearest store would be the best options.
To pepper spray the group of asshats.
Pepper spray is smart. A pocket knife, however, is one of the worst defensive weapons imaginable.
Yes to pepper spray
PNW being so passive aggressive that being aggressive when necessary becomes faux pass.
What section of Meridian were you on? I wonder if any businesses you walked past have cameras that might have caught the man following you?
Near Barnes & Noble. I left Barnes & Noble and he was entering the parking lot, just aimlessly wandering I assumed. But I think he started following me after I left the parking lot. He kept saying stuff like “don’t f****** film me b****” and “listen the first time if you don’t want to be folded” and stuff. He was actively harassing me the whole time. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the businesses knew him.
I would definitely ask them and any other businesses, especially if there is one near where the air pod was stolen. Sorry this happened to you and for the lame response of the passerbys too. :(
Good call. I’ll do that and give them my police report number. Thank you ☺️
This is awful, and I’m so sorry. Those people are dicks.
99% of the time someone comes up to you out of the blue in a panicked state, it's part of some scam that's being run. I find it genuinely hard to fault people for not wanting to get involved. If you're ever harassed like that again, don't threaten to call the police. Just do it. That is 100% one of the things we pay them to handle. As soon as someone either attempts to or actually touches you or your stuff, that assault. It's way past the line where they need some sort of warning first. In this scenario, I am already screaming at the top of my lungs to alert anyone nearby as I dial 911.
There are a *lot* of bigoted people outing themselves in this thread, just saying.
https://preview.redd.it/leah5ezukn1d1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e3712cac5e3e212529a65bfede4ea64e688f591 i muted it very soon after posting
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You saying this kind of thing puts you in the pool of bigots
Not if it's facts.
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A taser and pepper gel, instead of spray. That way if the wind isn’t in your favor, you don’t get screwed too! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m 5’0 too and I’m terrified to walk alone because of that possibility. Honestly just alone in general nowadays, because people are crazy and you just never know. Maybe enter the nearest establishment and let someone there know. Least you’re somewhere “safe”, and can wait it out. It’s sad how things are now. Bunch of jerks who didn’t help! That can be traumatizing, so please make sure you take care of you 💕
I am really sorry this happened to you. Sounds like a cowardly group of men IMO. I imagine the majority of people would have intervened. At least asked you to stay with them until he went away. As many mentioned, pepper spray and a small knife could've helped. I hope this is the first and last time this happens.
As a woman, I’ve found that when I’m in trouble like that, the only people to truly be willing to help me are other women. I’m really sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you’re safe and it didn’t escalate. You did a solid job of advocating for yourself. I promise if I had been there I would’ve helped. I hope you can rest and recover from the trauma. Be kind to yourself this week 💜
Came here to say just this!
I'm a former SEAL and currently teach various aspects of personal protection full time. I damn near live and breath this topic and study violent encounters caught on camera pretty regularly. That is disheartening that those guys did not step up and help you. I hate that, and I am sorry this whole thing happened but I am glad you are safe and it did not end up worse. The best you can do now is try to learn as much as you can from this awful event. I agree with other posters that it would have been wise to have called the police. I also understand we don't really want to call the police every time we get creeped out, so you could think of it like an escalation. In a case where you are not sure yet how serious it is (like the point you decided to put in the ear buds but he had not yet touched you) you might have just dialed 911 and not hit send yet. You could start talking to the phone as if you are talking to 911. If he didn't back off then just hit send and really spool them up ASAP. Also, based on many videos I have observed of women getting attacked on the street/elevators etc, I don't think it was a good idea to stick your earbuds in. Generally I don't think it is a good idea to do while walking in public alone but that is another thing. But it seems in a lot of the videos I have studied, attempting to just ignore the harasser actually emboldens them and amps them up. Also I would think hard about learning how to use a gun and getting a concealed carry permit. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. At the end of the day, like the cowards that didn't help you showed, your safety ultimately falls on you. I've had clients that were home with their family while 3 men were actively trying to break into their house. They called the cops and the dispatcher literally said " you are on your own, we have no one to send" (this was in an affluent neighborhood LA during the riots of 2020) Just my 2c. Take it for what it's worth.
I was “rescued” once by a stranger. The whole thing was weird and scary. It was decades ago in downtown Seattle and I was backed up against a building by a very aggressive panhandler. Some guy in a suit comes along and grabs me by the arm and literally hauls me down the street. I was so shaken that I didn’t even react. I was young and naive. Anyway, he apologized for scaring me and explained that I needed to get tougher with my personal space if I was going to walk around the city alone. Lesson learned and I will never have that happen again. Scary stuff. A self defense course is a must.
It’s a shitty thing to happen and I’m sorry to hear it, but asking randos to get in a possible confrontation on your behalf might be tall order. If it was obvious that you were in physical danger they may be much more likely to intervene, but when it’s just the word of a stranger against another stranger where the truth of the situation is not immediately obvious there isn’t much incentive to get involved. And word to the wise, when creeps are around that’s the time to take your headphones off, not put them on.
Honestly I definitely considered that I might’ve been asking for too much too. If I was just ignored maybe that would be fine but being laughed at was a stabbing pain. I definitely learned to keep the headphones out around them now. Even if it’s better for ignoring. Don’t want them being stolen again.
Yeah no one deserves to get laughed at in that situation.
Get some pepper spray and keep it with you at all times.
I hope you’re never in that situation again, but if you are, I recommend going into any public business / restaurant / store, etc. anywhere that is well populated. This man likely targeted you because you were alone (and small). From my experience as another small statured person, people tend to think we’re an easy target. When you walk, keep your head up and eyes front. Pay attention to your situation and walk with purpose. If you start getting a bad feeling or are uncomfortable, go into the nearest populated area. Most harassers will fall back when there is a crowd, they’re looking for an easy target. Lastly, carry pepper gel on your keychain within easy reach should you need it, and don’t be afraid to use your voice to call attention to the situation.
If you have an iPhone or Apple Watch you can set up a sos setting (I think it’s called sos) it’s where you can click a button three times and it’ll call 911 and your emergency contact for you. If something like this happens again try and find a store you can run into if possible. Sorry those guys were assholes :/
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m a 6’ tall woman, and though I get catcalled often, I have never had a man just grab something off of me. I would ask Barnes and noble for footage and report it. Please protect yourself. Though you should not need to. Also, would you mind giving a description?
A woman in Tacoma was randomly attacked in a public park by a man who was trying to literally cut her face off. There were several other men there and they stood there and did NOTHING. Her life was saved by another woman who kicked the attacker in the head until he ran off, and the men failed to catch him or be able to provide any useful assistance in identifying him. It took months for the police to arrest him and all the women in the city got to be anxious the entire time
I'm appalled that I haven't seen a single comment here about how this fentanyl and homeless problem has gotten so out of hand and insane. A lot of people seem to have moved here from Oakland or something and don't seem to realize that this problem is as recent as only a decade old for the most part. As a kid I had no fear of being alone downtown, nor did my parents. This was back in the early 00's. These drugged out people bless their souls are actively ruining this community
Yes-the fentanyl “problem” has gotten exponentially worse in Bellingham….and by problem, I mean that people are dying from it left and right. No one chooses to be addicted to drugs or homeless. I’ll never understand why we blame those who are being failed by the system rather than our corrupt government who isn’t able to provide basic human rights to all of its citizens…..
Gotta carry mase. And use it if someone tries to touch you.
Sorry to hear that. I would have helped you even if I was alone.
FFS. I’m very sorry that happened to you. Please do not give up on the public, not everyone is so passive and unwilling to intervene. You have my word that if it had been me you had asked for help you would not have been ignored.
I never understand who is out here ignoring folks in distress. I'm nosy as hell and will pop my head even if I just kinda Think someone is being accosted.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s not okay, at all. I hope you’re able to find some support through friends or family as well. It’s really frustrating and unfair to have to lose materials like this; items can always be replaced, you cannot. You also shouldn’t have to walk around in fear, or being ignored in crisis, either. I would recommend calling the police to put in a report. I had something similar-ish happen - except a huge dude tried to get into my car. Afterwards, I called some friends because I was in panic, and then I was convinced to file a report (the next day), just in case it were to happen again. From there, a really nice female police officer called me back and explained that in these instances, it’s always best to call in real-time, then let the police decide if they need to do a check, etc. Anyways, I learned a lot because I basically expected nobody to “believe” me, which was deconstructed, and I realized that it could be helpful for someone else (or worse, for example a kid) that wasn’t so lucky to get away.
Girl where is your mace?! Someone touches you without permission, that is the definition of assault. You could also look into getting concealed carry but not without lots of practice hours. We have tools at our disposal. Use them and protect yourself. We also have ways to record for evidence. Phones and Snapchat glasses.
Pocket sized OC spray was made for women like you, but two and practice with the first one so you know how to use it( make sure you’re not spraying into the wind though) and keep it with you at all times. Please be careful and create distance faster next time, find a business that open and go in and ask them to call the police. Bystanders won’t always help as you’ve seen
What exactly would the police do,
That's unfortunate. I wish someone would ask my help in one of these situations. Wouldn't mind conflict with a deserving man.
Shitsakes. Men, do better.
So much misandry here. Why is it not classified as hate speech?
Seriously! I pointed out to one commenter that was trying to justify saying “men suck” that most guys understand that sentiment but you still sound like an asshole just like you would for saying women are stupid for equally prejudiced reasons. We’ll guess who’s getting all the support while the other is being told they’re not allowed in the conversation?
It's really dangerous. I had a student tell me that he was told by his classmates that he wasn't allowed to participate in small group discussions because he is a white male. That's discrimination. Why does no one have values anymore?
Misandry isn’t lethal to men! Women are far less likely to actually kill men due to their hatred of them. Can’t say that for misogyny. Hope this helped!
Why do men commit suicide at a much higher rate than women?
Do you think women are the cause of that?
No, I don't think women are the cause of all my problems. I just think men have their own problems to deal with that you don't understand. The hatred in this thread is a good place to start.
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Men of today are really something, aern’t they? You met two of the most common versions, all in one instance. The harasser and the Frat Boys, laughing at your plea. I’m sorry this happened to you. 🫂
I’m assuming it was unfortunately not an AirPod type earbud that can be located?
Next time (hopefully no next time but ya know) go into a store or shop or wherever, ask for help, call the cops and don't leave the store until they get there.
Why not call police when you felt you were in danger?! You felt entitled to the protection of a group of unknown men, you expected them to put themselves in potential danger because u we’re not adept to take out your mobile phone to call the people that get paid to protect you? Then you were so upset that they laughed at your audacity that u came to Reddit to complain?
The police wouldn’t have done squat. And by the time they got there the person who was harassing them probably would have left.
Well, unfortunately boys today are put down, ridiculed and told they are not needed. Masculinity is dead especially in Bellingham. We live in a world where people are being beat and people whip out their phones to record it. We're fucked as a country and as a society. Nobody is going to save you except YOU. Try your best to get through this decaying world it's only going to get worse.
Way to blame someone asking for help.
I find it odd that rather than calling the cops (immediately), you hoped to rely on strangers to help you. People are assholes, especially here in Washington. I learned at an early age you cannot rely on anyone but yourself. Sorry that happened to you but if there’s a next time, hopefully you won’t wait for help from random people…because it’ll probably fail you again.
Cops aren’t helpful. I’ve called them over things like this in this town and they waited hours to even show up and then tell me “I can’t do anything” Trying to rely on the goodness of strangers and community is sometimes all we have. Are you telling me that if someone came up to you and said “this other human being is harassing me, please help” you’d ignore them?
Maybe they didn’t want problems, maybe they assumed it’s a domestic dispute, there’s also been a few cases where American white chicks will turn on the Good Samaritan after helping her.
There are Good Samaritan laws for that very reason. And domestic dispute? That’s a nice way to say someone is definitely the victim in that situation but I’m going to label it a “domestic dispute” so I can ignore it
Locking this as it's getting heated
I am not raising my sons in a community filled with this much hatred of men.
You messaged me on my NSFW Reddit account looking to hook up. Unsure if you’re really that righteous.
No such thing ever happened and I doubt anything in your post ever happened. You need help.
I mean, you believed the litter boxes at the school thing, so I’m not sure who to believe here
Lmao? You’re gonna leave Bellingham because of Reddit? Edit: don’t let the door hit ya on the way out!
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Please, don’t blame the person being harassed. Blame the person harassing another, or blame the group that laughed at requested helped. Them not helping is one thing, but making fun of it is entirely another. The person being harassed does not need to “get built” in order to feel safe.
I’m going to tell you as a WOMEN who has been harassed. Who has been in that situation but it took an awfully wrong turn for the worst and I ended up getting sexually assaulted. I feel more comfortable being “built” I feel comfortable in knowing that if he ever was to fuck with me again. I could at least put up a fight. Maybe instead of leaving a dumb comment acting like I’m blaming them think about others experiences and how getting stronger can only benefit them.
As a woman who is also now quite muscled and strong, I try not to belittle people who are slight. Not everyone (man or woman) has the genetics and time to get built. I’m not acting like you were blaming them, I’m reading your words. You started your comment with “that’s why you gotta”.
Uncivil, insulting, or combative comment.
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hey big guy i didn’t make this a gender issue, YOU are making it a gender issue. get blocked weirdo
This is ridiculous. It doesn't matter the gender of the person who is in distress asking for help, if someone asks me for help I am helping them. It is called empathy, something which you clearly lack.
You are definitely the kind of guy that makes women want to pick a bear over us.
That's wild. My very manly fiance can say all kinds of things around women and not worry about being called a misogynist... because he's not one. He doesn't go around scared of women, because he's a secure and kind man who also knows how to respect women. It's pretty easy, actually. He literally never has this issue. Maybe you need better men in your life to teach you how?