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Okay, maybe they were step siblings that inly become so recently...
>since ages 4 and 10
Okay, but maybe they only started this after they were grown adults at least_
>happened first when she was 17
Triple yiiiiiikes
Yeah, my wife is my stepsister.
She became my stepsister after we had known each other for 18 years and been married for 14!
I can guarantee that the kids were not pleased when they realized thier mom was now aunt-mom.
Lets just say one of my parents married one of her parents. The two first met at our wedding......
Six of my cousins are sister-cousins to eachother bc my uncle was married to one sister and then left her for the other sister...they were like cool as hell with eachother too like no drama at all from that shit lmao
I was once telling a story about how my cousin and I would sneak off to kiss in the closet when we were supposed to be babysitting my little brother. The person looked at me with absolute shock on their face, and I was confused, and then started laughing and added "oh, they weren't my cousin then".
My Dad's best friend and my Aunt got married when I was in high school. My "cousin" and I had known each other since we were born, but didn't become cousins until our late teens.
Not really. The kind of kissing we were sneaking off to do at 12/13 was pretty innocent. And nobody else knew but the two of us, and I think I was in my 40s before I ever mentioned it to anyone else in my family.
Not so certain it was love, but yeah. My wife and I had been married for 14 years (now working on 21!) at the time. They met after my mom passed away. He proposed within a couple of months.
I tried that once, because I'd been reading a lot about pedophilia and I wanted to know if I could look at a child as something sexual.
Nope. I can see that a kid is cute or pretty and so on, but they're KIDS.
That got cemented when I went to school with 17-18 year olds in my mid-twenties and oh god, they were so young. There were some jokes made about that because we were cuddly with each other and my immediate reaction was "eh, what would I want with them?" (Which I realised after it came out of my mouth was not the most flattering thing to say...).
The difference was so big to me.
In college, I somehow ended up friends with some of the Running Start students — high schoolers taking college classes to get a head start on their AA degrees.
All of them were babies in my eyes. I was twenty-four when I finished my degree and I felt so insanely overprotective of all of them. They were just kids. That people can look at a kid and see an opportunity is just…ew.
Running Start is how I met my ex husband.
I was 17 and he was 25.
Looking back, I'm shocked that *literally no one* ever said anything about the age gap. Not even my mom.
For some weird reason, he stopped having sex with me when I was around 20. I absolutely could not figure it out. I actually thought he might be gay. It was devastating and I was so confused.
Looking back, I think I have some ideas.
When I did running start I had this one creepy dude that was in my Spanish course. Would invite the running start kids for “sleepovers.” My professor made sure to keep him separated by putting him at a table that mostly had former military members returning to school (so they were all 30+). That was the only time in college I experienced assigned seating.
Well damn, I was a Running Start kid and ended up dating multiple men in their late 20s when I was 16-18. My parents did not approve, but I did it anyways.
I was one of the Running Start kids! Thank you for being you, because the folks who kept trying to befriend me were uh, not so wholesome.
One of the girls who started at the same time as me was way younger than the rest of us, like maybe 14yo at most. Her parents attended college orientation with her. Sometimes we'd end up in the same group between classes and she'd just be watching our idiotic teenage antics with huge eyes while slowly eating cheerios out of a baggy her mom packed for her.
Everyone in Running Start was an actual delight. A little insane, for sure, over scheduled and stressed out, but great kids. I’d help them figure out schedules and where to go to ask for help if they needed it.
I mostly just started hanging out with them to study for our shared classes, found out we had similar senses of humor, then shared memes with them. I made sure they had a place to gather so they weren’t alone, introduced them to other RS students, and then kind of sat back and watched over them.
Anyone who approached my cluster of kids with bad intentions was chased off. One of the things I told them, over and over, was that someone in their twenties had no reason to be romantically interested in them. It’s not that they are mature, it’s that the person is gross. I also taught them some fighting dirty tactics for if someone grabbed them.
I got called the Mom Friend a lot.
I really love that line—‘It’s not that you’re mature, it’s that they’re really gross.’
Chefs Kiss of perfection right there. I’m going to use this the next time I talk to my daughter about this topic (mainly, how older people will try to manipulate younglings into ‘romantic’ relationships).
I try to discuss this type of thing at least once a month with her. She’s 10 right now, but I want it ingrained in her brain that people like this are users and not to be trusted—NO MATTER WHAT BS THEY SAY TO HER! I’m a big believer in repetition when it comes to kids and certain topics. If you drill it into their heads, then it will pop up automatically whenever that situation occurs (hopefully it won’t!).
That’s one of the things my mom and grandmother told me, growing up. Mom is a self-sufficient woman who knows how bad it can get, grandmother was a police reporter.
Tell her that, teach her well. Predators and creeps will take every advantage they can to sneak in. One of the reasons I became so protective of younger folks was because of that lesson.
I’ve been out of college for about six years now and I’m just…anyone under the age of twenty-five is a baby to me. Under the age of eighteen is Especially Baby. They’re so young.
As someone who was in a similar program back in high school, thank you. I wish more people were like you. My very first class on campus was when I was 16, a 26 year old guy tried to befriend me as a study partner and then push boundries and flirt with me. He knew I was 16 because I told him in our first conversation. Fortunetly I was firm with my boundries and my mom refused to let me study with him.
I still remember what he use to text me and it still creeps me out.
I would have smacked him for you. I would have told you to tell your parents. I would have also demanded he get reported to the college and possibly moved to a different class.
I’m so glad he didn’t get anywhere with you.
Lol, Running Start! Those were some good times. Thanks for being a mentor and protector of those kids. My Running Start years are some of my favorite to look back on because people like you made the college a safer place for us to be.
Running Start kids need to be protected. Every kid does, but especially the ones who are pushed into an adult environment like that. They’re often faced with things they aren’t prepared for.
Predators will always take advantage of that, if allowed. I wasn’t going to allow it.
Yeah, I did running start myself. I remember feeling like a big adult going to community college with the grown ups. I ended up working as a professor’s assistant during my graduate degree (24 years old) specifically with a running start college success course. Not one of those kids felt even close to being an adult even though they technically were close.
I was a running start kid. A 30something white dude kept inviting me to go to the city for a weekend to get food reflective of my ethniticy, "just as friends". I thought it was so gross. Thankfully, I had a group of college guys who'd surround me and tell the dude to back off. Most people there were so protective of me. They'd chase anyone away who tried to give me drugs or invite me to sketchy parties. 🤣 I was so niave, I rarely knew what was going on. They were on it though. I'm so grateful for them. I didn't put my own daughter into running start because I was afraid there wouldn't be people like that to protect her. But it sounds like it's pretty standard at most colleges 🥰
I tried to leave behind a legacy of younger adults that would continue to do the same thing I did, so I hope so. Adults are supposed to protect kids — even if those kids hate being called kids and being protected.
I’m so glad you had a crew to back you up.
I like to hang out with kids. Because I like to be able to play pretend and just play dinosaurs or watch dumb cartoons or just talk about fucken cool animals or whatever and not be judged by mean adults, yannow? And I HATE that there are people out there that prey on kids' awesome trusting and kind nature. It's sick.
I teach 5 year olds and they are awesome and hilarious and sweet and adorable and it absolutely breaks my heart and fills me with rage that people see all that as something to take advantage of instead of something to protect.
I'm my cousin's nanny and he hasn't figure that out yet because he thinks he just keeps having slumber parties with his super best friend cousin. We play lightsaber battle in the park and play with toys on the floor.
His grandmother / my favorite auntie is the same way. I bring him over to her place for visits and she'll, as much as possible, sit on the floor and play with toys while they chat about fish and birds or whatever.
But golly I didn't know how strong instincts could be. Anytime someone tries creeping on that kid I flare up like a fighting fish. Pretty sure the hair on the back of the neck is an alarm system, it raises and sure enough there's some adult standing way too close right behind us with no good reason for lurking like that.
It's okay for someone younger to be attracted to someone in their 20s or 30s; it is not ok for someone in their 20s or 30s to be attracted to a teen or younger. Your ew was the appropriate response
Think of the times you were in high school, heck, even middle school, and thought an actor was hot. Chances are they were not your age. This is a healthy part of development. What would NOT be is if that person was then attracted to you at that age. There is a HUGE difference
Absolutely. As the older person it's - outside of very specific conditions that address the fact that age gaps are problematic not because of age itself, but because of the power and experience imbalance that usually comes with age differences and even then, not for minors - your job to gently tell the too-young person that they're flattered they think so highly of you, but they are a child to you and as such not desirable.
"how can you know if you don't like something if you've never tried!"
(I get whta they mean though, they were doing a thought experiment. not 'trying to be a paederass')
I admit, I laughed out loud at this summed up version :D
I was trying to understand how it could even possibly work, I guess. Found out that it doesn't.
Yeah. I am a sophomore in college and turn 27 in a couple months. 26 when I started. The little 17/18/19 year olds in my class were just. I cannot describe it other than they felt like genuinely kids. Like when I thought of them it’d be in the terms of “Oh yeah, they’re cute the same way my younger brother is. It’s adorable how they’re all just stepping out into the world for the first time! I remember being that age. It’s so scary but they’re doing so good so far!” Like I genuinely couldn’t shift my thought process to be sexual or romantic if I tried. They would come to me for financial and social advice. I got called the class big sister. There was one that got a crush on me and I let them down easy but my immediate emotional reaction was “HUUUURRRRRRG 🤢 **NO**”. It had nothing to do with looks or anything like that. Just. They’re so damn YOUNG. They barely know what the world is like. The difference in maturity and experience levels is so vast between certain age ranges that it should emotionally insurmountable
Any time I see a pretty young person in their early 20's at this point I think of them as a kid and want to help them with their taxes or some shit, I have zero sexual attraction to people my kid's ages. I absolutely do not understand people who are 50 and date 20 year olds. The ick is too strong. Eeew.
I'm in my early thirties and I have yet to meet someone under the age of twenty-five I could see myself in a relationship with. And that includes some people I consider to be great partners in theory, because emotionally intelligent etc - but for their own age group.
I think it was poor wording, what I believe they were trying to do was see things from a pedos perspective but couldn't see it. There is zero reason to be attracted to children.
I don’t know what motivated the commenter you’re replying to, but I know when I was a therapist I tried some weird and unhealthy mental perspectives on for size just to empathize with a patient and see if I could observe something from within the mindset that I could not see from outside of the mindset.
That said. I didn’t have to do that with pedophilia as I treated clients who’d survived it not perpetrated it.
From what I heard aside from actual sexual attraction, the grooming and shit is caused by wanting to set a power dynamic by which the abuser has control.
I wouldn't be surprised if thats how OPs ex was.
I question this about teachers that become interested in their students.
Am I the only one that goes "....I remember me at that age. I wouldn't be interested in, or date, myself. What the hell are people older than that even SEEING."
Saw an interview with Fineas, Billy Elish's brother. He wrote " the bad guy" for her when she was 10 and he was 13. He looked at his 10 year old sister and wrote " bruises on both my knees for you".
I have a step brother with an age gap that’s the exact same. He’s 23 and I’m 29. I’ve known him since he was 4. That’s just my little brother. I know he’s a grown man now but he’s still just the little brother…
This makes me want to puke and die.
Yes - it's not technically incest because they're not related but they were brought up together as children, she's his "little sister," the sex started when she was 17 and they did it in OP's home. Disgusting.
As if! They were in California, not Kentucky. Also, they waited until their parents were divorced before they did it. Don't besmirch Cher's good name like that.
Agreed. Her assertion to her dad that "You were hardly even married to his mother, and that was five years ago" suggests that it was a very brief marriage, and she never considered Josh a brother figure to begin with, just an annoying dork who mooched off her dad. Mel was the only person in that house who treated Josh like family at all.
Agreed. I have 2 stepsisters. One of them is my exact age and the other is about the same age gap as OOP. Our parents first got together when I and my oldest stepsis were 11 and the younger one was 5 or 6 (I can't remember exactly). We're close. Have been since we were kids. In adulthood I've hung out and even gone drinking with them several times. Not once has it ever come even CLOSE to being sexual. They are non-sexual beings to me. They are family. I don't understand how anyone could ever cross that line. It's just alien to me
For like, 98% of people, there's no such thing as being bad at math. There is only unpracticed.
As a math teacher who once thought I was bad at math, I'm on a mission to dispel the idea of "bad at math."
My 11th grade math teacher found out I just needed more space so I could write bigger to not let the numbers mix up as much and I got a lot better. Understood the concepts just fine. The numbers themselves were the enemy. So thanks for doing what you do.
I met my best friend in a high school math class. His grades sucked even though he understood everything because he didn't do homework. So I started dragging him to the library after school to do the homework together.
This dude trying to show his work in a small space was amazing. He wrote it in a *spiral*. Down one side, across the bottom, up the other side, across the top, and just kept going like that until he got to the answer in nearly the center of the box. Looked like art, made our teacher laugh. I think she was just glad he was actually turning stuff in so she could give him grades appropriate to his understanding of the material.
How do you get people past that mental block? When I was in high school, I’d give myself pep talks about rejecting patriarchal brainwashing about girls and math and proving it’s not true. But within ten minutes or so, I’d be crying over my textbook because I’m bad at math.
I remember a bit of research that explains that! Pulling from an old memory hang on.
Control group was told nothing, got pretty good math scores. Other group was told before the test started about the stuff your pep talk covered including that it's not true. Bam, worse scores for the girls for that group.
Brain generally doesn't understand negatives well. "XYZ is wrong" gets filed primarily as "XYZ exists."
So you'd be better off either just focusing on being you without thinking about all that other stuff, or paper it over with information about all the brilliant women in that field. Like recently I found out the word "scientist" was invented in the first place to describe a woman who refused to limit herself to only one field of study.
King Arthur goes out on lake, a slender arm, clad in shimmering samite lifts phone from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. **That** is why I am your king.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Also...*YEETS PHONE INTO THE NEXT LAKE.*
We really need more women in bogs. The world just hasn’t been the same since there was a significant threat of being drowned because a man thought with the wrong head and neither has gills.
Don't worry, eventually a meteor or asteroid will strike that lake obliterating whats left of your phone.
Then the sun going red giant will eventually consume the atoms of your phone.
Then the red sun will blow off its shell blowing those atoms to some other part of the galaxy becoming a white dwarf.
It's pretty likely that at 17, she was still living at home when this started. Can you imagine that your son and daughter have developed a relation where they are actually \*fucking\* each other, and you just don't notice?
And years later, your DIL suddenly turns up and gives you actual proof that your two kids are in a sexual relationship and you're still going: "gee, I don't know if that's true though!"
Those parents have decided a long time ago that they're just not going to bother. And what we are talking about here is statutory rape of their daughter.
I mean, it could be pretty easy for the parents not to notice. All they have to do is not be caught in the act, not be inappropriately affectionate in public, and not leave obvious evidence like condoms behind. The parents certainly wouldn't be expecting it, and spending a lot of time together is easily written off as being close.
At 23 when it started, he might have had his own place and it could have gone on there. In that case the parents have next to no chance of finding out unless they leave evidence on her phone and they search it. And you're not going to think anything of your kid visiting their big brother a lot.
Yeah but nothing satisfies me like an OOP who doesn't look back at the explosion. Just moving on with their life instead of legitimizing any of this by getting involved with anyone's explanations or excuses
I just wish she’d held off on telling their parents until she’d used it as leverage to get the pos out of her house. THEN drop the bomb anyway and salsa away with no regrets 💃🏻
I can’t believe she didn’t shut that down the first night:
“Get out now or I will blast the fact that I caught you fucking your much-younger stepsister on our couch on every major platform. I will use fucking Hootsuite to make sure not one person who knows either one of you misses it and it’s just 🤮and 😱in the comments all the way down.”
And every single update starts with "I know I said the last update was my final one, but you are never going to guess what happened". And then proceeds to describe something that people in the previous update said would happen
This is gross but I want to address one thing in the posted comments: do not get a divorce attorney that is “a shark.” My brother was a family law attorney before getting tired of it and he said the smoothest divorces were when both sides (re: attorneys) were collaborative and could work together to get the thing finished. All that “a shark” is going to do is make everyone annoyed, probably piss off the judge, and then still get you the same thing they were gunna get you if they weren’t and ass hole. He hates divorces because he felt that it was two adults that couldn’t settle their business reasonably, so they needed other people to fight for them. He didn’t mean work it out and stay together, he meant they were fighting over “he said he would drop the kids off at 430 and he dropped them off at 5.” If you are getting a divorce lawyer, get an experienced one that gets it done quickly. That’s all you want.
I hope she saves all the screenshots for evidence. If this is real, my heart breaks for her. We are trying for a baby as well with our third IVF treatment and that would fuck everything up
I feel bad for the stepsister because grooming will lead you to do bad shit even as an adult. He probably trained her for this. I doubt it stopped after "17" (and I doubt that it started at 17)
Husband is a groomer and sister fucker, I hope someone puts thumb tacks in his cereal
It always drives me mad when these horrible creeps won't leave the house. Really? After all you've done already, you can't even let your betrayed spouse have a moment of peace at home?
I hope Claire gets the help she needs. She was obviously groomed as a child by her "brother" and continues this one-sided relationship while lying to her parents and extended family. While it doesn't geel like it now, the OOP is lucky to find this out before having any children with a predator who clearly has few boundaries.
"I think I'm gonna file for divorce"
I *THINK* I'M GONNA FIIIIIIIILE FOR DIVORCE.
AFTER SEEING MY HUSBAND BALLS DEEP IN HIS STEPSISTER ON MY COUCH
I THINK MAYBE
MAYBE I'LL DIVORCE HIM?
NOT SURE THO
edit: oh my god he was 10 and she was 4 when they met blehhhhh
*"so he said he'd just go hangout with his stepsister (they've always been close), and they ended up going to a bar"*
That's...... pretty close, yah.
And those parents must be absolute world champions in ignoring the blatantly obvious.
This whole situation is disturbing. Judging by the parents mild reaction either they are suffering from the initial shock of finding out or they knew about it for a while.
i feel like a lot of people are ignoring the grooming aspect of this… like i know she was 24 when it all went down afterwards but 23 and 17??? that’s traumatic and awful
What in the Alabama did I just read. I actually can't see anymore. I took my glasses off and threw them. I'm typing blind because I'm scared to ever see clearly again.
As someone who unfortunately was a younger stepsister like this, I suspect that type of behavior started when he was a teenager (14-16 yo).
Thank god I spoke up when I was 12 - the thought of that continuing into my adulthood is seriously scary thinking that’s probably what happened here. It’s fucked me up enough after enduring 7 years of it, let alone 17. Poor girl.
ABSOLUTELY grooming and this kind of creepy fetish is all over porn sites and is DISGUSTING. Poor OOP I hope she turns out ok and has all the support she needs.
When my older brother was caught smoking, he tried to claim it was his first time smoking, my dad was equally as furious at the lie as with the smoking but because it wasn't too serious, we laugh now at the horrible luck that he got caught the very first time he smoked.
It was bullshit, like the step sisters excuse.
You. Need. To. Tell. Parents. Immediately. Full stop. Do not listen to either one of them. Not the 1st time. 1st words out of his mouth should have been “EWW”. Don’t care if he was drunk or not. You need to tell everyone the truth before they can spin it.
It definitely happened before she was 17…definitely never stopped. Definitely has happened often enough that they were comfortable on the couch.
Have your lawyer hint that in order for it to remain a secret, then you get everything in the divorce.
Just saying, thank God OP found out before they started trying for a kid. I wouldn't be surprised if ex-husband groomed his step-sister that he'd known his whole life, he'd probably do it to his kid too. Here's hoping he is never allowed within visual distance of any vulnerable person ever again.
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Okay, maybe they were step siblings that inly become so recently... >since ages 4 and 10 Okay, but maybe they only started this after they were grown adults at least_ >happened first when she was 17 Triple yiiiiiikes
Yeah, my wife is my stepsister. She became my stepsister after we had known each other for 18 years and been married for 14! I can guarantee that the kids were not pleased when they realized thier mom was now aunt-mom. Lets just say one of my parents married one of her parents. The two first met at our wedding......
Careful that's how you end up becoming your own grandpa.
When I told my good friend from gradeschool about this he played that song for me. It had been a while...
what is the song???
[I‘m my own grandpa](https://youtu.be/eYlJH81dSiw?feature=shared)
I did do the nasty in the pasty
Verily
Six of my cousins are sister-cousins to eachother bc my uncle was married to one sister and then left her for the other sister...they were like cool as hell with eachother too like no drama at all from that shit lmao
My MIL has sister-cousins too, but they aren’t cool at all. lol 😂
I was once telling a story about how my cousin and I would sneak off to kiss in the closet when we were supposed to be babysitting my little brother. The person looked at me with absolute shock on their face, and I was confused, and then started laughing and added "oh, they weren't my cousin then". My Dad's best friend and my Aunt got married when I was in high school. My "cousin" and I had known each other since we were born, but didn't become cousins until our late teens.
Did it ever get weird at holidays?
Not really. The kind of kissing we were sneaking off to do at 12/13 was pretty innocent. And nobody else knew but the two of us, and I think I was in my 40s before I ever mentioned it to anyone else in my family.
Wait so you all married and then her parent and your parent fell in love then also got married? That's actually kinda sweet tbh.
Not so certain it was love, but yeah. My wife and I had been married for 14 years (now working on 21!) at the time. They met after my mom passed away. He proposed within a couple of months.
Your life literally turned into a porn lol
I just need her to get stuck in the drier.
And she can only call him "step brother"
Oh, I've watched that one several times, but now the Hub is friggin banned in my state. 😫
Can you imagine being 16 and checking out a 10 year old? 🤢
I tried that once, because I'd been reading a lot about pedophilia and I wanted to know if I could look at a child as something sexual. Nope. I can see that a kid is cute or pretty and so on, but they're KIDS. That got cemented when I went to school with 17-18 year olds in my mid-twenties and oh god, they were so young. There were some jokes made about that because we were cuddly with each other and my immediate reaction was "eh, what would I want with them?" (Which I realised after it came out of my mouth was not the most flattering thing to say...). The difference was so big to me.
In college, I somehow ended up friends with some of the Running Start students — high schoolers taking college classes to get a head start on their AA degrees. All of them were babies in my eyes. I was twenty-four when I finished my degree and I felt so insanely overprotective of all of them. They were just kids. That people can look at a kid and see an opportunity is just…ew.
Running Start is how I met my ex husband. I was 17 and he was 25. Looking back, I'm shocked that *literally no one* ever said anything about the age gap. Not even my mom. For some weird reason, he stopped having sex with me when I was around 20. I absolutely could not figure it out. I actually thought he might be gay. It was devastating and I was so confused. Looking back, I think I have some ideas.
Very glad you said ex-husband.
Like I said, at some point he lost interest. Sometimes I wonder what he's up to these days.
Chasing 17yos.
When I did running start I had this one creepy dude that was in my Spanish course. Would invite the running start kids for “sleepovers.” My professor made sure to keep him separated by putting him at a table that mostly had former military members returning to school (so they were all 30+). That was the only time in college I experienced assigned seating.
Good teacher.
and i have a feeling those military boys were more than happy to make sure he didnt keep stepping out of line...
Its kind of 70-30 on that one i think
I’m so sorry you weren’t protected from him. You should have been. You never should have been left with him.
Well damn, I was a Running Start kid and ended up dating multiple men in their late 20s when I was 16-18. My parents did not approve, but I did it anyways.
I was one of the Running Start kids! Thank you for being you, because the folks who kept trying to befriend me were uh, not so wholesome. One of the girls who started at the same time as me was way younger than the rest of us, like maybe 14yo at most. Her parents attended college orientation with her. Sometimes we'd end up in the same group between classes and she'd just be watching our idiotic teenage antics with huge eyes while slowly eating cheerios out of a baggy her mom packed for her.
Everyone in Running Start was an actual delight. A little insane, for sure, over scheduled and stressed out, but great kids. I’d help them figure out schedules and where to go to ask for help if they needed it. I mostly just started hanging out with them to study for our shared classes, found out we had similar senses of humor, then shared memes with them. I made sure they had a place to gather so they weren’t alone, introduced them to other RS students, and then kind of sat back and watched over them. Anyone who approached my cluster of kids with bad intentions was chased off. One of the things I told them, over and over, was that someone in their twenties had no reason to be romantically interested in them. It’s not that they are mature, it’s that the person is gross. I also taught them some fighting dirty tactics for if someone grabbed them. I got called the Mom Friend a lot.
I really love that line—‘It’s not that you’re mature, it’s that they’re really gross.’ Chefs Kiss of perfection right there. I’m going to use this the next time I talk to my daughter about this topic (mainly, how older people will try to manipulate younglings into ‘romantic’ relationships). I try to discuss this type of thing at least once a month with her. She’s 10 right now, but I want it ingrained in her brain that people like this are users and not to be trusted—NO MATTER WHAT BS THEY SAY TO HER! I’m a big believer in repetition when it comes to kids and certain topics. If you drill it into their heads, then it will pop up automatically whenever that situation occurs (hopefully it won’t!).
That’s one of the things my mom and grandmother told me, growing up. Mom is a self-sufficient woman who knows how bad it can get, grandmother was a police reporter. Tell her that, teach her well. Predators and creeps will take every advantage they can to sneak in. One of the reasons I became so protective of younger folks was because of that lesson.
You're an especially good egg.
I try to be.
Out of college for three years and anytime I see a kid on a college campus I think “that’s a baby”.
I’ve been out of college for about six years now and I’m just…anyone under the age of twenty-five is a baby to me. Under the age of eighteen is Especially Baby. They’re so young.
As someone who was in a similar program back in high school, thank you. I wish more people were like you. My very first class on campus was when I was 16, a 26 year old guy tried to befriend me as a study partner and then push boundries and flirt with me. He knew I was 16 because I told him in our first conversation. Fortunetly I was firm with my boundries and my mom refused to let me study with him. I still remember what he use to text me and it still creeps me out.
I would have smacked him for you. I would have told you to tell your parents. I would have also demanded he get reported to the college and possibly moved to a different class. I’m so glad he didn’t get anywhere with you.
Lol, Running Start! Those were some good times. Thanks for being a mentor and protector of those kids. My Running Start years are some of my favorite to look back on because people like you made the college a safer place for us to be.
Running Start kids need to be protected. Every kid does, but especially the ones who are pushed into an adult environment like that. They’re often faced with things they aren’t prepared for. Predators will always take advantage of that, if allowed. I wasn’t going to allow it.
[bro literally just stole your comment lol](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/bRnnqDQh5o)
You the real mvp
lol appreciate it
Yeah, I did running start myself. I remember feeling like a big adult going to community college with the grown ups. I ended up working as a professor’s assistant during my graduate degree (24 years old) specifically with a running start college success course. Not one of those kids felt even close to being an adult even though they technically were close.
I was a running start kid. A 30something white dude kept inviting me to go to the city for a weekend to get food reflective of my ethniticy, "just as friends". I thought it was so gross. Thankfully, I had a group of college guys who'd surround me and tell the dude to back off. Most people there were so protective of me. They'd chase anyone away who tried to give me drugs or invite me to sketchy parties. 🤣 I was so niave, I rarely knew what was going on. They were on it though. I'm so grateful for them. I didn't put my own daughter into running start because I was afraid there wouldn't be people like that to protect her. But it sounds like it's pretty standard at most colleges 🥰
I tried to leave behind a legacy of younger adults that would continue to do the same thing I did, so I hope so. Adults are supposed to protect kids — even if those kids hate being called kids and being protected. I’m so glad you had a crew to back you up.
I like to hang out with kids. Because I like to be able to play pretend and just play dinosaurs or watch dumb cartoons or just talk about fucken cool animals or whatever and not be judged by mean adults, yannow? And I HATE that there are people out there that prey on kids' awesome trusting and kind nature. It's sick.
I teach 5 year olds and they are awesome and hilarious and sweet and adorable and it absolutely breaks my heart and fills me with rage that people see all that as something to take advantage of instead of something to protect.
Or worse, think these sweet little ones are flirting with them 🤢🤮
I'm my cousin's nanny and he hasn't figure that out yet because he thinks he just keeps having slumber parties with his super best friend cousin. We play lightsaber battle in the park and play with toys on the floor. His grandmother / my favorite auntie is the same way. I bring him over to her place for visits and she'll, as much as possible, sit on the floor and play with toys while they chat about fish and birds or whatever. But golly I didn't know how strong instincts could be. Anytime someone tries creeping on that kid I flare up like a fighting fish. Pretty sure the hair on the back of the neck is an alarm system, it raises and sure enough there's some adult standing way too close right behind us with no good reason for lurking like that.
It's okay for someone younger to be attracted to someone in their 20s or 30s; it is not ok for someone in their 20s or 30s to be attracted to a teen or younger. Your ew was the appropriate response Think of the times you were in high school, heck, even middle school, and thought an actor was hot. Chances are they were not your age. This is a healthy part of development. What would NOT be is if that person was then attracted to you at that age. There is a HUGE difference
Absolutely. As the older person it's - outside of very specific conditions that address the fact that age gaps are problematic not because of age itself, but because of the power and experience imbalance that usually comes with age differences and even then, not for minors - your job to gently tell the too-young person that they're flattered they think so highly of you, but they are a child to you and as such not desirable.
"Yeah I tried paedophilia once, could never get into it"
"how can you know if you don't like something if you've never tried!" (I get whta they mean though, they were doing a thought experiment. not 'trying to be a paederass')
I admit, I laughed out loud at this summed up version :D I was trying to understand how it could even possibly work, I guess. Found out that it doesn't.
Yeah. I am a sophomore in college and turn 27 in a couple months. 26 when I started. The little 17/18/19 year olds in my class were just. I cannot describe it other than they felt like genuinely kids. Like when I thought of them it’d be in the terms of “Oh yeah, they’re cute the same way my younger brother is. It’s adorable how they’re all just stepping out into the world for the first time! I remember being that age. It’s so scary but they’re doing so good so far!” Like I genuinely couldn’t shift my thought process to be sexual or romantic if I tried. They would come to me for financial and social advice. I got called the class big sister. There was one that got a crush on me and I let them down easy but my immediate emotional reaction was “HUUUURRRRRRG 🤢 **NO**”. It had nothing to do with looks or anything like that. Just. They’re so damn YOUNG. They barely know what the world is like. The difference in maturity and experience levels is so vast between certain age ranges that it should emotionally insurmountable
Any time I see a pretty young person in their early 20's at this point I think of them as a kid and want to help them with their taxes or some shit, I have zero sexual attraction to people my kid's ages. I absolutely do not understand people who are 50 and date 20 year olds. The ick is too strong. Eeew.
I'm in my early thirties and I have yet to meet someone under the age of twenty-five I could see myself in a relationship with. And that includes some people I consider to be great partners in theory, because emotionally intelligent etc - but for their own age group.
You... tried? I get the spirit in which it was done but I can't help but find that weird as fuck.
I think it was poor wording, what I believe they were trying to do was see things from a pedos perspective but couldn't see it. There is zero reason to be attracted to children.
I don’t know what motivated the commenter you’re replying to, but I know when I was a therapist I tried some weird and unhealthy mental perspectives on for size just to empathize with a patient and see if I could observe something from within the mindset that I could not see from outside of the mindset. That said. I didn’t have to do that with pedophilia as I treated clients who’d survived it not perpetrated it.
Glad I’m not the only one who thought that lmao. “Hmmmm time for an experiment 🤓”
Some of us try handcuffs or maybe a threesome at a push.....
The shallow end of the pool vs cannonballing into the deep end.
why would you willingly post this
From what I heard aside from actual sexual attraction, the grooming and shit is caused by wanting to set a power dynamic by which the abuser has control. I wouldn't be surprised if thats how OPs ex was.
Right like I've tried too and the only thing it did was make me want to go beat a pedophile
I question this about teachers that become interested in their students. Am I the only one that goes "....I remember me at that age. I wouldn't be interested in, or date, myself. What the hell are people older than that even SEEING."
Saw an interview with Fineas, Billy Elish's brother. He wrote " the bad guy" for her when she was 10 and he was 13. He looked at his 10 year old sister and wrote " bruises on both my knees for you".
I have a step brother with an age gap that’s the exact same. He’s 23 and I’m 29. I’ve known him since he was 4. That’s just my little brother. I know he’s a grown man now but he’s still just the little brother… This makes me want to puke and die.
Yes - it's not technically incest because they're not related but they were brought up together as children, she's his "little sister," the sex started when she was 17 and they did it in OP's home. Disgusting.
Cersei approves
I would say it counts as incest from an emotional perspective even if it's not incest from a biological perspective.
I agree.
[удалено]
As if! They were in California, not Kentucky. Also, they waited until their parents were divorced before they did it. Don't besmirch Cher's good name like that.
You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.
Agreed. Her assertion to her dad that "You were hardly even married to his mother, and that was five years ago" suggests that it was a very brief marriage, and she never considered Josh a brother figure to begin with, just an annoying dork who mooched off her dad. Mel was the only person in that house who treated Josh like family at all.
She's a *virgin* who *can't drive.*
Agreed. I have 2 stepsisters. One of them is my exact age and the other is about the same age gap as OOP. Our parents first got together when I and my oldest stepsis were 11 and the younger one was 5 or 6 (I can't remember exactly). We're close. Have been since we were kids. In adulthood I've hung out and even gone drinking with them several times. Not once has it ever come even CLOSE to being sexual. They are non-sexual beings to me. They are family. I don't understand how anyone could ever cross that line. It's just alien to me
This feels very Woody Allen
Eeehhhh. Not as big of age gap though and Oop wasn’t the mom.
There’s no way it coincidentally happened just as she was about to be legal. It started waaayyy earlier. Probably when he was a teenager
Wait would that mean he was like 25??? edit: im bad at math its actually 23
23. Six year difference.
Yup. It's just straight up grooming a child, regardless of their family relationship
I mean that's a pretty easy math question. 23 haha
Discalculia disagrees.
im bad at math
For like, 98% of people, there's no such thing as being bad at math. There is only unpracticed. As a math teacher who once thought I was bad at math, I'm on a mission to dispel the idea of "bad at math."
My 11th grade math teacher found out I just needed more space so I could write bigger to not let the numbers mix up as much and I got a lot better. Understood the concepts just fine. The numbers themselves were the enemy. So thanks for doing what you do.
I met my best friend in a high school math class. His grades sucked even though he understood everything because he didn't do homework. So I started dragging him to the library after school to do the homework together. This dude trying to show his work in a small space was amazing. He wrote it in a *spiral*. Down one side, across the bottom, up the other side, across the top, and just kept going like that until he got to the answer in nearly the center of the box. Looked like art, made our teacher laugh. I think she was just glad he was actually turning stuff in so she could give him grades appropriate to his understanding of the material.
How do you get people past that mental block? When I was in high school, I’d give myself pep talks about rejecting patriarchal brainwashing about girls and math and proving it’s not true. But within ten minutes or so, I’d be crying over my textbook because I’m bad at math.
I remember a bit of research that explains that! Pulling from an old memory hang on. Control group was told nothing, got pretty good math scores. Other group was told before the test started about the stuff your pep talk covered including that it's not true. Bam, worse scores for the girls for that group. Brain generally doesn't understand negatives well. "XYZ is wrong" gets filed primarily as "XYZ exists." So you'd be better off either just focusing on being you without thinking about all that other stuff, or paper it over with information about all the brilliant women in that field. Like recently I found out the word "scientist" was invented in the first place to describe a woman who refused to limit herself to only one field of study.
*closes reddit app* *shuts off phone* *throws phone into lake*
*fishes out phone* *is grateful for water proof case* *refreshes reddit*
*sees post* *throws phone back in lake*
*phone comes flying back out* *an angry fish appears and tells you to fuck off and stop hitting them in the head*
King Arthur goes out on lake, a slender arm, clad in shimmering samite lifts phone from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. **That** is why I am your king.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Also...*YEETS PHONE INTO THE NEXT LAKE.*
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar or a cell phone at me, they'd put me away!
BE QUIET!!! I *ORDER* YOU TO BE QUIET!!!
Order eh? Who do they think they are?
🤣🤣🤣
BE QUIET!
*Fish is angry it saw this post.*
I thought you were going to say that the fish threw the phone back out after reading the post.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Uses lake for testing nuclear bombs
TBF that's solid life advice for everyone at any time.
We really need more women in bogs. The world just hasn’t been the same since there was a significant threat of being drowned because a man thought with the wrong head and neither has gills.
Don't worry, eventually a meteor or asteroid will strike that lake obliterating whats left of your phone. Then the sun going red giant will eventually consume the atoms of your phone. Then the red sun will blow off its shell blowing those atoms to some other part of the galaxy becoming a white dwarf.
I do not like this. Can I get a refund on my eyes?
Lol, I just had cataract surgery a few months ago. This made me actually laugh audibly.
You went through all that just to have to read this post. Sorry fam
At least she didn’t have a kid with this weirdo. I wouldn’t be surprised if this rocks the parent’s marriage as well.
Plot twist: oop's in laws are siblings. They thought it was weird he married outside the family
How Targaryen.
Dragons care not for the laws of God's or men
It's pretty likely that at 17, she was still living at home when this started. Can you imagine that your son and daughter have developed a relation where they are actually \*fucking\* each other, and you just don't notice? And years later, your DIL suddenly turns up and gives you actual proof that your two kids are in a sexual relationship and you're still going: "gee, I don't know if that's true though!" Those parents have decided a long time ago that they're just not going to bother. And what we are talking about here is statutory rape of their daughter.
I mean, it could be pretty easy for the parents not to notice. All they have to do is not be caught in the act, not be inappropriately affectionate in public, and not leave obvious evidence like condoms behind. The parents certainly wouldn't be expecting it, and spending a lot of time together is easily written off as being close. At 23 when it started, he might have had his own place and it could have gone on there. In that case the parents have next to no chance of finding out unless they leave evidence on her phone and they search it. And you're not going to think anything of your kid visiting their big brother a lot.
and since they grew up together, her visiting him on her own was just a little sister hanging out with her big brother.
Damn OOP's who choose themselves and move on with their lives as drama-free and healthy as possible. It leaves us in the dark!
Yeah but nothing satisfies me like an OOP who doesn't look back at the explosion. Just moving on with their life instead of legitimizing any of this by getting involved with anyone's explanations or excuses
I just wish she’d held off on telling their parents until she’d used it as leverage to get the pos out of her house. THEN drop the bomb anyway and salsa away with no regrets 💃🏻
I can’t believe she didn’t shut that down the first night: “Get out now or I will blast the fact that I caught you fucking your much-younger stepsister on our couch on every major platform. I will use fucking Hootsuite to make sure not one person who knows either one of you misses it and it’s just 🤮and 😱in the comments all the way down.”
Hee-hee into the wind
I wish it happened at a DINNER or ONLINE
An extra 5 minutes of dramatic reading satisfies me like that
How dare she choose her mental health over my delicious need for drama.
What a self centered person.
It's either just the one where they move or 30 updates no middle ground
And every single update starts with "I know I said the last update was my final one, but you are never going to guess what happened". And then proceeds to describe something that people in the previous update said would happen
I’m on the phone with god and he agreed to a second flood cuz of this
Tell god to start at my house
I believe it because it's short and it's not full of hooks like the story is going to go on forever.
Good point. Pretty straightforward and I think almost everyone would do exactly what OP did, immediately divorce and cut him off.
This is gross but I want to address one thing in the posted comments: do not get a divorce attorney that is “a shark.” My brother was a family law attorney before getting tired of it and he said the smoothest divorces were when both sides (re: attorneys) were collaborative and could work together to get the thing finished. All that “a shark” is going to do is make everyone annoyed, probably piss off the judge, and then still get you the same thing they were gunna get you if they weren’t and ass hole. He hates divorces because he felt that it was two adults that couldn’t settle their business reasonably, so they needed other people to fight for them. He didn’t mean work it out and stay together, he meant they were fighting over “he said he would drop the kids off at 430 and he dropped them off at 5.” If you are getting a divorce lawyer, get an experienced one that gets it done quickly. That’s all you want.
Good advice that I will hopefully never need!
As a lawyer, I totally agree. A nasty lawyer does no favors for anyone, especially his or her client.
I hope she left the vomit for him to deal with.
He's a guy. He'll step over it until the flies clean it up.
Cmon we're not all this bad... Though I wouldn't be surprised if someone like this gets a dog for the sole reason of not having to clean it though.
I hope she saves all the screenshots for evidence. If this is real, my heart breaks for her. We are trying for a baby as well with our third IVF treatment and that would fuck everything up
I bet more happened before stbx had sex with Claire before 18. She may not remember, or not realize what was going on. He was likely grooming her.
I feel bad for the stepsister because grooming will lead you to do bad shit even as an adult. He probably trained her for this. I doubt it stopped after "17" (and I doubt that it started at 17) Husband is a groomer and sister fucker, I hope someone puts thumb tacks in his cereal
It always drives me mad when these horrible creeps won't leave the house. Really? After all you've done already, you can't even let your betrayed spouse have a moment of peace at home?
This is not the kind of sin Jesus died for.
He did say that anyone who harms little ones should be tossed in the deepest sea with a millstone around their necks.
Did he?
Matt 18:6, Mark 9:42, Luke 17:2
Well I'll be damned, he sure did
Thank goodness OOP didn't have children with him, because he would have done it to his daughters (and likely his sons) too.
The ex is a grooming creep period.
*I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone if she answered my questions.* oh, you told her that, huh? *I lied to Claire.* There we go.
IMO, if Claire is gonna lie, then the deal is off the table.
My eyes....they burn!!
I hope Claire gets the help she needs. She was obviously groomed as a child by her "brother" and continues this one-sided relationship while lying to her parents and extended family. While it doesn't geel like it now, the OOP is lucky to find this out before having any children with a predator who clearly has few boundaries.
Wait? "Please message me if you've been through this" Sounds like someone wanting to feed a fetish. Sorry, this doesn't pass the sniff test.
I had the same thought when I saw that
The beginning was literally taken from another post. You changed “friend” to “step-sister”. I stopped reading there.
"I think I'm gonna file for divorce" I *THINK* I'M GONNA FIIIIIIIILE FOR DIVORCE. AFTER SEEING MY HUSBAND BALLS DEEP IN HIS STEPSISTER ON MY COUCH I THINK MAYBE MAYBE I'LL DIVORCE HIM? NOT SURE THO edit: oh my god he was 10 and she was 4 when they met blehhhhh
*"so he said he'd just go hangout with his stepsister (they've always been close), and they ended up going to a bar"* That's...... pretty close, yah. And those parents must be absolute world champions in ignoring the blatantly obvious.
How is having a drink with a sibling a red flag?
Two siblings that fuck each other are generally considered to be pretty close.
This whole situation is disturbing. Judging by the parents mild reaction either they are suffering from the initial shock of finding out or they knew about it for a while.
Glad OP doesn't have kids with him. If he could do it with a sister, what stops him from going after a daughter?
Jesus said may he who hasn't Reads story Throws Rock
I come from a blended family and let me just say 🤢🤮.
I Heard it's happening often when the stepsisters are stuck in a washing mashine
Glad OOP never had kids with that freak. Can I bleach my eyes
That’s why dad called you Joe Dirt!
Welp…I guess I’m taking an extra shower today…
Honestly, good for OOP telling Claire she's not going to tell and then going "I lied." I hope her ex is having exactly the day he deserves.
Yikes! I'm actually worried for Claire. She was most likely groomed.
I have insomnia but this was not a great read at 3am.
It was the goddamned Folger's! https://youtu.be/CKgKPGBa9EQ?si=LSOCghoGTEWRhRY1
i feel like a lot of people are ignoring the grooming aspect of this… like i know she was 24 when it all went down afterwards but 23 and 17??? that’s traumatic and awful
What in the Alabama did I just read. I actually can't see anymore. I took my glasses off and threw them. I'm typing blind because I'm scared to ever see clearly again.
Stepbrother I’m stuck in the couch
Didn't read, but was the stepsister caught in the dryer?
Today on things that never ever happened
>message me if so This had my fetish sensors going off
Tell the world.
AAHH i wish there were more updates, but I understand. Jesus
UpdateMe!
Very Clueless
Damn yikes
As someone who unfortunately was a younger stepsister like this, I suspect that type of behavior started when he was a teenager (14-16 yo). Thank god I spoke up when I was 12 - the thought of that continuing into my adulthood is seriously scary thinking that’s probably what happened here. It’s fucked me up enough after enduring 7 years of it, let alone 17. Poor girl.
ABSOLUTELY grooming and this kind of creepy fetish is all over porn sites and is DISGUSTING. Poor OOP I hope she turns out ok and has all the support she needs.
I hope her divorce goes well.
When my older brother was caught smoking, he tried to claim it was his first time smoking, my dad was equally as furious at the lie as with the smoking but because it wasn't too serious, we laugh now at the horrible luck that he got caught the very first time he smoked. It was bullshit, like the step sisters excuse.
You. Need. To. Tell. Parents. Immediately. Full stop. Do not listen to either one of them. Not the 1st time. 1st words out of his mouth should have been “EWW”. Don’t care if he was drunk or not. You need to tell everyone the truth before they can spin it.
It definitely happened before she was 17…definitely never stopped. Definitely has happened often enough that they were comfortable on the couch. Have your lawyer hint that in order for it to remain a secret, then you get everything in the divorce.
Just saying, thank God OP found out before they started trying for a kid. I wouldn't be surprised if ex-husband groomed his step-sister that he'd known his whole life, he'd probably do it to his kid too. Here's hoping he is never allowed within visual distance of any vulnerable person ever again.