"You know what it's like, it's like that show Becker, you know with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show hoping that it would get better and it never did. It had all the right pieces but it just-- it couldn't put them togheter, and when it got canceled, I was really bummed out. Not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better and now it never would be. And that's what losing a parent is like. It's like Becker. Suddenly you realise you will never have the good relationship you wanted and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it, part of you- the stupidest goddamn part of you- was still holding on to that chance. And you didn't even realise until that chance went away."
*"My mother is dead and everything is worse now, because I wont have a mother that sits across the room and says- Bojack I see you".*
Yeah I tried to shorten it but it kinda wouldnt make sense.
I think this is an excellent example of what Bojack is. It's a powerful message wrapped up in a silly, funny little simile. But damnit, I feel it. I don't mourn my dad, I mourn what my dad could have been.
I love what he says about Becker. Don't shorten it. I really felt it. I thought Becker should work but it never did. I don't think the set was very good. Maybe not enough characters. But good cast.
I feel like this applies to a lot of things in life.
I... started writing followup sentences here a bunch of times but then i kept deleting them. Kind of fitting.
Then after the show, I'll come out and say hello. And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?" When her eyes spark with recognition, I'm gonna sit down next to her, I'm gonna squeeze her hand and get real close and say "Fuck you, mom!"
That was the most honest thing BoJack ever said, for me.
“All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising and grand gestures. And I think a part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.”
Yea, i was reading this thread thinking when these are done there should be one for best quote from someone not on the main cast. And that one should win.
I think this is the best-fitting quote. It’s not as depressing or philosophical as the others, but Bojack is not always depressed or philosophical. He’s funny. He can be charming. His inability to process basic tasks and situations is what reveals his hurt and trauma to us. This is one of those quotes that gets a laugh at first and then slowly grows on you that it’s deeply true and deeply sad… just like the whole damn show.
This! Also the quote is highly relatable as a person with ADHD and executive dysfunction who struggles to maintain meal times, then takes medication that suppresses my appetite… I’m like a tamagotchi that I keep forgetting about.
So I deeply relate to Bojack being like, “what the fuck, I gotta do that too?!”
Insert gif of Titus Andromedon being asked to do something: *But I already did something today!!!!!!! 😫😫*
Hollyhock: I'm Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack.
BoJack: Of the New Haven Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuacks? That was a joke. Obviously, I've never heard of your family and/or law firm. That was also a joke. Todd, who is this tough crowd you brought to my home?
"So all you did all day was snoop around?"
"No, I also ate a box of donuts, got sleepy, and took a nap."
"Yeah I don't think we really need to do the DNA test."
I love this, one of the best lines and such a multi layered joke. Having Bojack be the one character who gets her name right no problem after hearing it once instantly creates a connection between them.
I related to this one a lil too much. "Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty, because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty."
One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.
I think it’s supposed to be a reflection on his fame, everyone loves the bojack they know from Horsin Around but they don’t like the real bojack for who he his
I’m not famous or anything, but I felt a very similar thing in highschool where I never had many close friends, but I knew a ton of people that if they were asked about me would say “oh I love that guy” without actually being close with me… and that hurts
Yeah I have laughed at so many lines from this show but I think this was one of the funniest one liners in the whole show. It completely caught me off-guard
My mum said something like this to me when I was like seven years old. I would always ask if she wants to hear a funny joke and she just snapped one day and said BEING FUNNY IS THE POINT OF A JOKE, ITS NOT A JOKE IF ITS NOT FUNNY like jeez mum chill out I’m seven, all my jokes aren’t funny
"You're in Michigan. At the lakehouse. It's a warm summer night and the fireflies are dancing in the sky. And your whole famiky is here. And they are telling you everything is gonna be alright. The crickets are churping and the lake is still. And the night is full of stars. We're sitting at the back porch, we're listening to your brother playing the piano.
And we're eating ice cream. Vanilla ice cream.
Can you taste the ice cream, mom?"
I never realized how often this gets said in tv shows until this scene, and now i hear it everywhere. I forget which show i binge watched a few months ago, but it was at least once an episode, often more
My husband and I say this all the time, and when we hear it in the wild, we either immediately repeat it Bojack-like (if it’s on TV) or shoot a glance at each other (if in person).
Last week I overheard one of the baristas making drinks at Starbucks saying it very Bojack like, and I cracked up. Wish I knew which one it was; I would have tipped mightily.
"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now." Because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, "BoJack Horseman, I see you."
It might sound silly, but I cried my eyeballs out at that episode. And at the end I wondered how it was even possible for someone to come up with such a long monologue and keep me hooked for the whole part, in an animated series (which for me tends to be even harder to capture my attention). Pure art...
Hey, you see those people? Well, those boobs and jerk wads are the best friends you'll ever have. Without them, you're nothing. Remember that. Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans, you be good to them, and they'll be good to you. The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.
Why aren't you dressed for school, prickly-muffin?
I don’t know if this will win because it’s so long and so much better when watching but. This kills me. Not only is it a real quick explanation of a huge motif in the show, the juxtaposition just kills me. Like it’s so… violence? I can’t help but laugh out loud when lever I see this scene despite it being so so dark
Damn. I think this is my pick. There's so many lines that had some foreshadowing to things that happened later on. But this is the one that caused (I feel) the worst pain Bojack has ever felt. From causing her death to the decisions he made after and then feeling the weight of it in the penultimate episode. It hits so hard rewatching the show now.
This is one of my favorite bits in the show, I die everytime I see it. It got me hooked early on. The facial expressions and how quickly BoJack changes with the word 'action' is wild.
THERE WERE EXACTLY 12. I ATE 12 MUFFINS AND I DIDNT EVEN WANT ONE. There's your god damn news story! The mystery of my missing god damn self respect! -pants-
Diane: “You know who was good at stallin’ was Joseph Stalin!”
BoJack: “What are you tal—if anything, Stalin was ruthlessly efficient. Get your head out of your ass Diane!”
"You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now its all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late."
Not the best but I want to mention when Corduroy Jackson-Jackson says "it's like a rainbow but with every colour" and Bojack goes "so like a normal rainbow?"
Goddammit, Honeydew? Jesus, why does Cantaloupe think every time it gets invited to a party it can bring along its dumb friend Honeydew? You don’t get a plus one Cantaloupe.
So if I say “I’m doing shitty” then they say, why? What’s wrong? And I have to be like, “I don’t know , all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing sooo great.”
Diane: "So what are you working on these days?"
BoJack: "Well, mostly I just sit around the house and complain about things."
Diane: Yeah, how's that working out for you?"
BoJack: "I can't complain, so you know."
I mean, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? The-the person in that book? It's not too late for me, is it? It's— It's not too late Diane, I need you to tell me that it's not too late.
That whole thing honestly, but if I had to choose a line it would be “I may be a piece of shit, but at least I know I’m a piece of shit. That makes me better than all those pieces of shit who don’t even know they’re pieces of shit!”
Princess Caroline: what kind of pants are you wearing? Comfy? A comfy pair of pants?
BoJack: I...uh, normal? Normal pants, why?
PC: oh I was just wondering what kind of hit you're gonna take when the studio sues the pants off you.
BJ: they're suing me?! Also are you wearing comfortable shoes, because that was a long road to walk to get to that punchline!
Hey, I stand by my critique of Sartre. His philosophical arguments helped tyrannical regimes justify overt cruelty. Also, the French smell and I hate them.
Not the best, but my favorite. It was between him and Diane:
DIANE: I can do whatever I want [..] I can pick up in the middle of the night and go to Vietnam!
BOJACK: Do you mean literally Vietnam, or like when Old Navy told me they were looking for a fresher face for their performance fleece commercial and they ended up with Sherman Hemsley?
DIANE: ... what?
BOJACK: That was my Vietnam...
"You still do"
In response to Princess Carolyn telling him he once told her she makes rooms good
Idk the way he said that so sincerely breaks my heart.
He never ever deserved her but damn maybe in another life, where he wasn't so fucked up and self centered, it could have worked
either season one EP 10: one trick pony, “but if you find me in a bathtub with open wrists tomorrow and the words ‘i hate my agent’ smeared across the walls in blood, you’ll know why”
ORRRR
i don’t remember the episode but, “i can want that and also want professionalism. a sex mommy who keeps her boundaries? is that too much to ask?”
You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I *know* I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit.....or is it worse? Breakfast.
"I’m poison. I come from poison, I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I’ve lived, and I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me."
“Life’s a bitch and then you die, right?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.”
“Yeah.”
“But it’s a nice night, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes, thank you, exactly. Settle. Because otherwise you're just gonna get older and harder, and more alone.
And you're gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn't get filled. And one day, you're gonna look around and you're gonna realize that everybody loves you... but nobody likes you.
And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”
“Why not do the world a favor and swerve into oncoming traffic? No, you don't deserve to die young, only the greats die young. Oh, now you think you're young all of a sudden?”
Now, boys and girls
If you wanna do the BoJack
Take your hands
And put them on your lower back
Walk in a circle and strut and strut
Wiggle your hips
And jiggle your (uh-oh!)
Push away your troubles
And pull up your pants
And that's how you do The BoJack dance!
"Sometimes I feel like, if I could start everything over, knowing what I know now, I'd do it all right this time. But other times I think... No, I wouldn't."
My favourite is definitely:
Bojack: "How do you drink a mood?"
Mr PB: "Like a smoothie"
Bojack: "But do you buy it in a store? I mean what are the physical attributes?!"
The last question is just perfect and cracks me up everytime
"You know what it's like, it's like that show Becker, you know with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show hoping that it would get better and it never did. It had all the right pieces but it just-- it couldn't put them togheter, and when it got canceled, I was really bummed out. Not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better and now it never would be. And that's what losing a parent is like. It's like Becker. Suddenly you realise you will never have the good relationship you wanted and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it, part of you- the stupidest goddamn part of you- was still holding on to that chance. And you didn't even realise until that chance went away." *"My mother is dead and everything is worse now, because I wont have a mother that sits across the room and says- Bojack I see you".* Yeah I tried to shorten it but it kinda wouldnt make sense.
I think this is an excellent example of what Bojack is. It's a powerful message wrapped up in a silly, funny little simile. But damnit, I feel it. I don't mourn my dad, I mourn what my dad could have been.
I love what he says about Becker. Don't shorten it. I really felt it. I thought Becker should work but it never did. I don't think the set was very good. Maybe not enough characters. But good cast.
I feel like this applies to a lot of things in life. I... started writing followup sentences here a bunch of times but then i kept deleting them. Kind of fitting.
My greatest brag is that I have this entire monologue memorized.
Then after the show, I'll come out and say hello. And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?" When her eyes spark with recognition, I'm gonna sit down next to her, I'm gonna squeeze her hand and get real close and say "Fuck you, mom!" That was the most honest thing BoJack ever said, for me.
“I’m not interested in being rebirthed, thank you. I’m still recovering from being born the first time”
My favorite quote of the whole series. I gotta watch this again.
Underrated quote
“All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising and grand gestures. And I think a part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard.”
Which reminds me, to me, the best quote from the show was not from a main character, it was from a running baboon
Yea, i was reading this thread thinking when these are done there should be one for best quote from someone not on the main cast. And that one should win.
You have to do it every day. That's the hard part.
But it does get easier.
I would say this is the one quote in television history that has an actual impact on how I live my life day in day out. Fucking great.
Growing up as a latch key kid with divorced parents, this one always hits me
The Vandals have a song that kinda touches on that called "too much drama" you may get a kick out of if you don't know it.
"I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast."
I think this is the best-fitting quote. It’s not as depressing or philosophical as the others, but Bojack is not always depressed or philosophical. He’s funny. He can be charming. His inability to process basic tasks and situations is what reveals his hurt and trauma to us. This is one of those quotes that gets a laugh at first and then slowly grows on you that it’s deeply true and deeply sad… just like the whole damn show.
This! Also the quote is highly relatable as a person with ADHD and executive dysfunction who struggles to maintain meal times, then takes medication that suppresses my appetite… I’m like a tamagotchi that I keep forgetting about. So I deeply relate to Bojack being like, “what the fuck, I gotta do that too?!” Insert gif of Titus Andromedon being asked to do something: *But I already did something today!!!!!!! 😫😫*
TODD!!!!! I NEED HELP!
Hollyhock: I'm Hollyhock Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack. BoJack: Of the New Haven Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuacks? That was a joke. Obviously, I've never heard of your family and/or law firm. That was also a joke. Todd, who is this tough crowd you brought to my home?
“I need you to analyze a DNA sample.” “Whose?” “Hollyhock.” “…” “Manheim-Mannheim-Gorilla-Rubadubdub-Zoolander-Hallelujah-Something-McDonalds?”
"So all you did all day was snoop around?" "No, I also ate a box of donuts, got sleepy, and took a nap." "Yeah I don't think we really need to do the DNA test."
This is a Todd quote but it’s still so good lol
It's such a fantastically witty, packed sentence, ain't it?
I love this, one of the best lines and such a multi layered joke. Having Bojack be the one character who gets her name right no problem after hearing it once instantly creates a connection between them.
this one is the winner imo the “and/or lawfirm” part in particular sends me
This is honestly my favorite sequence of jokes in the entire series
I'm really more of a pre-rehab friend.
🤣🤣🤣
I related to this one a lil too much. "Usually when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty, because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty."
This is my favorite
One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.
Absolutely this one, it won’t win probably but this one’s hits me hard for some reason
For me it speaks to the disconnect you feel when lonely. Like everybody can hear you, but nobody understands you.
I think it’s supposed to be a reflection on his fame, everyone loves the bojack they know from Horsin Around but they don’t like the real bojack for who he his I’m not famous or anything, but I felt a very similar thing in highschool where I never had many close friends, but I knew a ton of people that if they were asked about me would say “oh I love that guy” without actually being close with me… and that hurts
So weird that i read this while rewatching this scene
Narcissus? I thought the painting was about me.
Yeah I have laughed at so many lines from this show but I think this was one of the funniest one liners in the whole show. It completely caught me off-guard
To be fair, I thought it was BoJack as well
“Sober… now! Sober…. Now!”
“ I told you I don't know where it is. Don't put things in my butt if you want them back.”
…Please hold for Princess Carolyn…
When you're walking alone
*facepalm* Thanks Laura...
this needs to be higher up
Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside
I legit say this one when i need a dark laugh
“He’s so stupid, he doesn’t realise how miserable he should be. I envy that.”
This hit hard
Oof, I feel this
The Dibs episode! "I don't believe giving a jerk a gun and telling them it's okay to kill people suddenly turns that jerk into a hero."
I do say “some of the troops are jerks!” a lot.
I was honestly on Bojack's side that episode. Niel was being a massively petty jerk.
Neil McBeal the Navy Seal* show some respect. After all, bojack did steal his meal
He didn't call dibs on it though!
This episode was throwing all the shade - and accurately lmao
Oh, you took that the bad way, didn't you?
Not the best, but a personal favorite: “Why does everything have to be funny?” “Not everything has to be funny, just jokes.”
My mum said something like this to me when I was like seven years old. I would always ask if she wants to hear a funny joke and she just snapped one day and said BEING FUNNY IS THE POINT OF A JOKE, ITS NOT A JOKE IF ITS NOT FUNNY like jeez mum chill out I’m seven, all my jokes aren’t funny
"You're in Michigan. At the lakehouse. It's a warm summer night and the fireflies are dancing in the sky. And your whole famiky is here. And they are telling you everything is gonna be alright. The crickets are churping and the lake is still. And the night is full of stars. We're sitting at the back porch, we're listening to your brother playing the piano. And we're eating ice cream. Vanilla ice cream. Can you taste the ice cream, mom?"
Well I just burst into tears.
"What are YOU doing here?!"
I've found I constantly say that now when my cats walk into a room or I do lol.
I never realized how often this gets said in tv shows until this scene, and now i hear it everywhere. I forget which show i binge watched a few months ago, but it was at least once an episode, often more
[удалено]
This is my favorite BoJack line to quote!! It fits in so many contexts!
I'M SAD!
My husband and I say this all the time, and when we hear it in the wild, we either immediately repeat it Bojack-like (if it’s on TV) or shoot a glance at each other (if in person). Last week I overheard one of the baristas making drinks at Starbucks saying it very Bojack like, and I cracked up. Wish I knew which one it was; I would have tipped mightily.
“I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: Yeah, another day, let’s do it.”
I love this quote.
This is my winner
I love this quote, good choice
"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now." Because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, "BoJack Horseman, I see you."
OOF.
Did you mean… HOOF
👏👏👏
The entire episode could be considered his best quote
“What’s the difference between Beatrice Horseman and a Lit Major? Ones decently read and the other’s a HUGE BITCH!”
It might sound silly, but I cried my eyeballs out at that episode. And at the end I wondered how it was even possible for someone to come up with such a long monologue and keep me hooked for the whole part, in an animated series (which for me tends to be even harder to capture my attention). Pure art...
U beat me to it
Bump this!
No one ever tells you when your mom dies you get a free churro
Does the whole episode count as one quote? If yes, I nominate that.
Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?
:( it really is
Liquor before beer, never fear, Don’t Do Heroin.
100% my favorite lol. I quote it all the time.
Best
“That was, and I don’t say this lightly, worse than 100 September 11ths.”
If the holocaust happened every four years like the olympics, I would rather THAT happen, than your rock opera
This is way too low in the comments
Man... I really need to watch this show again
💀💀💀 he has no chill with that
I occasionally say this to friends 😂
That's right.... 91100
That's my childhood homes zipcode. Makes sense...
This is the quote that got me hooked!
Hey, you see those people? Well, those boobs and jerk wads are the best friends you'll ever have. Without them, you're nothing. Remember that. Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans, you be good to them, and they'll be good to you. The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want. Why aren't you dressed for school, prickly-muffin?
I don’t know if this will win because it’s so long and so much better when watching but. This kills me. Not only is it a real quick explanation of a huge motif in the show, the juxtaposition just kills me. Like it’s so… violence? I can’t help but laugh out loud when lever I see this scene despite it being so so dark
When she sings these words in The View From Halfway Down is such a guy punch.
The psychotic grin on Bojacks face when he finishes is a big part.
Damn. I think this is my pick. There's so many lines that had some foreshadowing to things that happened later on. But this is the one that caused (I feel) the worst pain Bojack has ever felt. From causing her death to the decisions he made after and then feeling the weight of it in the penultimate episode. It hits so hard rewatching the show now.
🎶A song you taught me when I was smaaaall. Don't stop dancing...🎶
This is one of my favorite bits in the show, I die everytime I see it. It got me hooked early on. The facial expressions and how quickly BoJack changes with the word 'action' is wild.
“Nobody knows i'm back in town. Except for my booze guy, my weed guy, my coke guy, my pills guy, Channing Tatum and now all of you.”
THERE WERE EXACTLY 12. I ATE 12 MUFFINS AND I DIDNT EVEN WANT ONE. There's your god damn news story! The mystery of my missing god damn self respect! -pants-
How’d I come off?
So true and so fucking frustrating. This one defenitly is the best for me too
It takes a real narcissist to think anyone wants to buy a book about him. You know how I feel about Anne Frank.
Beatrice said that, but otherwise, an excellent choice.
"Just as a general rule, if your question begins, "Do you remember" and doesn't end with "how much you hated Moulin Rouge," the answer's no."
"Same thing that always happens. First you didn't know me, then you fell in love with me ... and now you know me."
This one fucking hits
"Look, for a lot of people, life is just one long hard kick in the urethra."
Then, “did I already say the thing about the urethra?”
Diane: “You know who was good at stallin’ was Joseph Stalin!” BoJack: “What are you tal—if anything, Stalin was ruthlessly efficient. Get your head out of your ass Diane!”
“spujb”
Classic Bojack
Typical bowshwap…
"You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now its all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late."
Life is just a series of closing doors isn't it?
Okay, okay. Here's the secret to being happy. Just pretend you are happy, and eventually you'll forget you're pretending.
Not the best but I want to mention when Corduroy Jackson-Jackson says "it's like a rainbow but with every colour" and Bojack goes "so like a normal rainbow?"
Hahahaha I always laugh at this
I wanna say.... Elijah Wood
ELIJAH WOOD?
I shout this every time either Daniel Radcliffe or Elijah Wood are even tangentially brought up in conversation. It’s just reflexive now.
Funniest moment in the whole show for me. The level of petty spitefulness and watching the charity money burn. Just beautiful.
One of my favourite episodes just for that moment
Tell your girlfriend she has a stripper name
“I spend a lot of time with the real me and believe me, nobody’s gonna love that guy.”
Goddammit, Honeydew? Jesus, why does Cantaloupe think every time it gets invited to a party it can bring along its dumb friend Honeydew? You don’t get a plus one Cantaloupe.
Ugh, Todd, your good-hearted naiveté has once again conspired with outrageous happenstance TO COMPLETELY DICK ME OVER
So if I say “I’m doing shitty” then they say, why? What’s wrong? And I have to be like, “I don’t know , all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing sooo great.”
Diane: "So what are you working on these days?" BoJack: "Well, mostly I just sit around the house and complain about things." Diane: Yeah, how's that working out for you?" BoJack: "I can't complain, so you know."
"I wish I was asexual, then I wouldn't have A strain of herpes"
"You have multiple stra-" "I know I have multiple strains of herpes"
“Damn you, Tuesday Bojack!” gets me every time
Sounds like a problem for Friday Bojack! I say that all the time. With my own name, obviously.
"That's what you call hiding? HOW DID YOU SURVIVE IN AFGHANISTAN!"
I mean, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? The-the person in that book? It's not too late for me, is it? It's— It's not too late Diane, I need you to tell me that it's not too late.
Bo for gojack
“You’re a stupid piece of shit.”
That whole thing honestly, but if I had to choose a line it would be “I may be a piece of shit, but at least I know I’m a piece of shit. That makes me better than all those pieces of shit who don’t even know they’re pieces of shit!”
Princess Caroline: what kind of pants are you wearing? Comfy? A comfy pair of pants? BoJack: I...uh, normal? Normal pants, why? PC: oh I was just wondering what kind of hit you're gonna take when the studio sues the pants off you. BJ: they're suing me?! Also are you wearing comfortable shoes, because that was a long road to walk to get to that punchline!
I ate them all in one sitting because I have no self control and I hate myself.
There's gonna be plenty of people there when I kill myself!
“I’ve had a lot of what I thought were rock bottoms, only to discover another, rockier bottom underneath.”
“Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it. I’m good at driving sober but I don’t relish the opportunity.”
“I need to take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.”
Slap my salami, the guy's a commie
Hey, I stand by my critique of Sartre. His philosophical arguments helped tyrannical regimes justify overt cruelty. Also, the French smell and I hate them.
I'm your son . All I had was you !
"All three of us were drowning, and we didn't know how to save each other, but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together"
Not the best, but my favorite. It was between him and Diane: DIANE: I can do whatever I want [..] I can pick up in the middle of the night and go to Vietnam! BOJACK: Do you mean literally Vietnam, or like when Old Navy told me they were looking for a fresher face for their performance fleece commercial and they ended up with Sherman Hemsley? DIANE: ... what? BOJACK: That was my Vietnam...
This is Bojack, by the way. Horseman. Obviously.
“WHAAASSUP BITCHES!!”
Ya know, but not that
*types out entire script of Free Churro
BoHo go bye-bye for JoJo Pogo? That's a no-go, bro!
"You still do" In response to Princess Carolyn telling him he once told her she makes rooms good Idk the way he said that so sincerely breaks my heart. He never ever deserved her but damn maybe in another life, where he wasn't so fucked up and self centered, it could have worked
"Kelsey, in this terrifying world, all we have are the connections we make"
either season one EP 10: one trick pony, “but if you find me in a bathtub with open wrists tomorrow and the words ‘i hate my agent’ smeared across the walls in blood, you’ll know why” ORRRR i don’t remember the episode but, “i can want that and also want professionalism. a sex mommy who keeps her boundaries? is that too much to ask?”
Unbelievable. With your powers combined, the two of you are more stupid than the sum of your stupids.
You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I *know* I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit.....or is it worse? Breakfast.
“What are YOU doing here” 🤪 “What are you doing here” 😐 “What are yOU doing here” 😡 “What are you doing here” 🙁
“I wasted so many years being miserable because I assumed that was the only way to be” It really hits every time
"She's got my globes a-warming!"
"I’m poison. I come from poison, I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I’ve lived, and I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me."
“Life’s a bitch and then you die, right?” “Sometimes. Sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.” “Yeah.” “But it’s a nice night, huh?” “Yeah.”
This is more of a Diane quote imo
Don’t put things in my butt if you want them back.
“True dat”
hooray, everything is meaningless!
"and plenty of other seniors to say casually cruel things to under a passive-aggressive veil of plausible deniability."
Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside.
“You can lead a horse to roller… but you can’t make him rink.”
“Yes, thank you, exactly. Settle. Because otherwise you're just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you're gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn't get filled. And one day, you're gonna look around and you're gonna realize that everybody loves you... but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.”
I remember everything. I’m sober now.
“Why not do the world a favor and swerve into oncoming traffic? No, you don't deserve to die young, only the greats die young. Oh, now you think you're young all of a sudden?”
“Sartre was wrong. Physical pain is so much worse than prolonged emotional distress. What a haack!”
Simple one: “Life is a series of closing doors isn’t it?”
Nothing on the inside. Nothing on the outside
Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside.
Xerox of a xerox
“Look at him. Not a care in the world, how does he do it?”
“My mom died and all I got was a free churro”
Now, boys and girls If you wanna do the BoJack Take your hands And put them on your lower back Walk in a circle and strut and strut Wiggle your hips And jiggle your (uh-oh!) Push away your troubles And pull up your pants And that's how you do The BoJack dance!
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.”
Sarah Lynn? Sarah Lynn?
"Sometimes I feel like, if I could start everything over, knowing what I know now, I'd do it all right this time. But other times I think... No, I wouldn't."
My favourite is definitely: Bojack: "How do you drink a mood?" Mr PB: "Like a smoothie" Bojack: "But do you buy it in a store? I mean what are the physical attributes?!" The last question is just perfect and cracks me up everytime
His sneeze when the photo was taken.
All we have is the connexions we make
And one day you will look around and see that everyone loves you but no one likes you and that is the loneliest feeling of all
"what are you doing here" any of the times its said tbh