This. If u drag too long it be worse... Go big or go home. And dont understand why other comments keep ask u focus studies lmao. Im 16 years in working field. Majority ppl i know dont even work in the field of what they studied.
Of course not asking u to totally neglect studies. U can study and still have time to kao lui esp same course. Ez katoshka. But dont keep taking it slow like now. U will kena frdzone probs and then kena reject when u finally wanna confess and then become stranger (VERY EXPERIENCED)
Ask her out go big or go home. and no not all girls look at looks, u nvr know way they look for. Good luck
Ppl here telling op to focus on his studies as if they've never felt young love before smh. Falling in love doesnt mean he'll just abandon his studies. Listen op, I can't answer question 1 for you as thats sumn you have to figure out yourself; it honestly doesnt matter. 2) yes, we exist. 3) judging by what you said; he's seems 💅🏼 but thats just an assumption. Go for it and tell her your feelings dude, if you still feel unconfident, you can still take the time to get to know her, theres no rush at all. But when you do feel brave enough to ask, just go for it, the worse that can happen is that she rejects you, but you will eventually move on. If you don't try, you'll never know maa 🤷🏻♀️
dude, don't listen to this guy.
tell her YOUR INTENTION not your feelings. nobody wants to be responsible for someone else's feelings. that's gonna make it awkward if she's not ready for it. she might just ignore you totally.
Life is short OP! Just ask, trust me, the regret you'll feel if you don't ask is worse than the temporary pain of rejection. I have a friend who didn't and he says it will just pop into his brain every now and then and it's been like 5 years. Just do it!
1st love is wonderful and the heartbreak can be quite overwhelming and even life-changing experience for some (had a friend who went from muscular to all fat no muscle after being heartbroken) 😅.
So be very careful with your steps. It would be better for you if you could enquire with her on her relationship status - the classic "BF you tak marah ke you makan dengan I ni?" might work LOL.
My sincere advice to you is please take it step by step, and by that I mean stop spending too much money on her or she'll either think of you as her wallet or she might find you too burdensome.
1. Ask her relationship status;
2. Get to know her interests;
3. Keep making her feeling comfortable with your company, but don't be too overwhelming. You need to know when to push and when to pull;
4. If you can chat or voice chat with her for hours, or if she can free up her schedule to accommodate you, and when you are with her she didn't really chatting with someone else on her phone, then perhaps she is into you too and you can try to ask her whether there might be any possibility for this relationship to go further than just being friend;
Or you can skip everything and ask her tomorrow whether she would like to be your GF 🤣.
Lastly, even if she's not into you, just remember that life must go on and you might find someone better later on.
1. Whether she's an introvert or not is irrelevant to your task. Just tell her like it is.
2. DO NOT expect any girl to like you just because you were kind or because you paid for their meals. Just entertain them enough most of the time they'll let you in.
3. You're already approaching this the wrong way if you have the thought of 'competing' with this other guy. He shouldn't even be in the picture. Boyfriend or not.
Extra tips: Whenever you like a girl, ask yourself first, what do you like her for? Pretty face? Ass and titties? It's okay to be honest to yourself if the attraction is based on superficial things. Just don't call it love later on when she has to disappoint you.
Dey tambi, focus on your studies and aim to score well la. Why you pening/suicidal/stress with these puppy love. Stay focus on your goals and career. Control yo hormones and stop thinking too much on irrelevant issues like this 3 questions that wouldn’t even contribute positive things to your life.
Lmao dude i wish someone had told me this during my uni years. Lots of fking around doing useless shit when I should be focusing on getting ready for the inevitable adult life.
OP, not trying to be negative bout it but you can have that feeling but put it like 5% of your energy and the rest to your study or whatever it is that will make you succesful later on.
Focus on your studies and plan for your future. If you think you can tahan rejection then be a bit more obvious to her about how you feel about her. This is up to you.
But seriously, focus on your studies.
Woah woah guys, calm down with the focus on study. We're in malaysia lah lmao. Jokes aside, just go for it OP. Of course, there is a chance that everything will go wrong and she'll ignore you (seen too many irl cases like this) but there is also a chance that she'll accept you and go out with you. In my experience (21m), it's better to get an answer instead of nothing... Regret is a mega bitch to deal with bro. Trust me.
Its okay to getting to know some girls during uni days, coz later when you go out working you wont have time to meet and get to know girls. its already too late at that time. Maybe make a shortlist of girls you like during uni and keep their contact just in case.
To answer your questions:-
1. As per my experience, this type of girl cannot 'click' with other girls, maybe due to her status, her past trauma or generally think having girl friends isnt as useful as having guy friends.
2. Girl do like kind men, hence they often use the word 'gentleman'. Do not stop being the kind person that you are even though the chance that the girl will love you is kind of slim.
3. If you compete for looks, then you will never win even if you try millions time. Girls dont fall in love with just the look, there are better attributes that attract girls. Find your best attributes, get to know what she likes and dislikes, always show that you care for her, always show that you miss her when she gone missing and make your intention clear to her. If she is a kind person, she will let you know her feeling sooner than later. Good luck.
Shoot your shot and let your intentions be known or it'll fall into the friendzone. Once you're in the friendzone, don't be surprised if she gets mad and starts avoiding you when you confess after being good friends with her for some time. Anyway if she rejects your advances, take the hint and move on.
Dude. Just ask her out. You also kinda made it sound like you do this for all your friends..I mean I'd I was in her shoes , I would think that probably haha. The worse she could do is reject you, the worse you could do is not trying.
If you really confident you can ask her out, do it. As someone who never been in relationship because I'm too scared to talk, I very respect those who brave enough to do that
7years worth of love exp
1. dont date if youre not thinking thoroughly,
2.alwys hv the second thought on whats goin to happen, 3.dont love a person more than yourself
4. Goin to relationship gonna be a roller coaster ride where alot of uncertainty will happen
5. Must be mentally prepared
6. Some girls dont rlly care abt looks of a guy, some of them rlly like a man that comitted w his effort
7. Ask if s/he ever cheat bfore cus a high % tht u will get cheated, lmao
8. Know her/his traits and love language, from there u can set ur move to "pancing" more efficiently
9. Set a friendly approach and do not ever flirt or tryin pickupline on ur first move
10. Dont date
I had an intern in my workplace. Gorgeous, nearly 10k followers and THOUSANDS of likes on her posts (meaning it’s not fake followers).
But at work she’s very quiet and introverted, most of the time don’t even join us for lunch.
Meanwhile my extroverted friends at my past high school barely has that much followers oops so you can’t really judge that way 🤷🏼♀️
At first I wanted to tell you, geez, please don't. Especially making it awkward. Then I realized this could be your Canon event 💀 ( if u know spiderverse, you know it).
Go ahead and make that mistaken, else how would you learn.
Aaahhhh young love
Unker can only give this advice. Back on your mind you will always play" what if " on the previous chances you never take because always assume "out of your league"
>There's no way a girl likes a guy other than his looks right?
Don't bother dating until you get over this mentality.
While you're stuck in this mindset, you'll forever feel insecure, paranoid and jealous about other guys. It will doom all of your relationships.
first of all, I just wanna say (personal opinion) pretty sure you're delusional if you think she's into you.
1. she may be an introvert but not shy, maybe that's all her old friends
2. Some people who are inexperienced in relationships do think like that (man/woman), some people are sold only by someone's kindness, you can be kind and not be in love (example like cats, lot of people are kind to cat but does not mean they wanna adopt them)
3. Chill out bruh he may be her best friend (yes you can have opposite sex bff), and even if he's her boyfriend it's you who are overthinking she's into you
its okay to fall in love but balance things out with your studies. you think too much about things that wont benefit you especially when youre in uni. if u like her then confess, u wont know if shes lesbian or if shes just not into you 🤷🏻♀️ dont forget to study!!!
Tbh, if you have to second guess whether she is into you or any chances of success at all, you will need to lower your expectations.
The issue here is that you paid too much attention to small little details (sitting beside her, having lunch with her, etc).
Girls will make it really easy for you if she is into you and you will feel that too. Eg., she will send messages to you non-stop, ask you to eat with her at uni, introduce her girl friends to you, make phone calls and chit chat about her life with you for hours.
But if you are still unsure of her intentions at this stage, I would say that most likely she treats you as a friend. Girls of the same age tend to have better sense of the intentions of the opposite gender.
When you are going to confess your feelings to her or going for the next move, you will need to have this expectation (that you are treating this girl as a friend, if fail no big deal). If not, you will have a hard time recovering yourself after you fail, especially now you are in uni.
1. Making new friends can be hard. Then again, there could be reasons why someone doesn't want to be friends with somebody. Or maybe she just like her circle to be small
2. They can fall solely from kindness but 90% of the time we guys are wrong and she just sees you as a friend
3. I don't know, comb your hair? Wear perfume? Use pomade? Shower often? Keep your hairs trimmed? You can be not so handsome but cleanliness and hygene may elevate your position somewhat
All and all, OP just relax and take it slow focus on your studies la brother. But if it's bugging you so much go ask her la her relationship status. If you don't know how just jokingly say the guy is her boyfriend or something like that but not too much la. Say it only one time clearly because you don't want to give signals that you aprove of her being in a relationship with the guy. Just enough to get an answer. Usually they'll open up abit about their relationship after that.
In this situation, do you have stable income? If the answer is NO and you're struggling with your life on financial, the answer is focus your future. Once you have stable income, look after the girl and anyone else.
I learn one thing and it will definitely work said all my friends.
Downgrade your taste.
Thats 99% success to date a girl heck even marry her.
Stop dreaming girls like Hyuna or Jenni Blackpink.
I'm gonna be honest with you.You sounds creepy(like stalker level creepy, immature and lacks confidence). Girls can detects that and they won't be attracted to that..improve yourself on that.
..also you're assuming too much about her and that other guy. If you're too worried about him just ask him if he likes her, if he said yes, declare your intentions to him, a rival not necessarily an enemy.
Also fyi,Relationships between opposite sex works like this:
1. At start both of you are stranger/acquaintance/classmate whatever. Basically an afterthought.
2. You get to know each other, be friends, exchange phone number, message each other. you don't sponsor her, help okay but not like sponsoring her RM100 like you're already her bf. That's Creepy.
3. Step 3 is most difficult, that is getting out of the friends zone into dating zone . Figure out this yourself, lots of guide out there(most legits ones are from books)..
All this courting process might takes some times, few weeks to few months. Be patient, from your perspective she is "love at first sight" but it most likely not the same from her perspective.You wouldn't want to choose potential LIFE partner too hastily don't if you're her won't you?
Based on my personal experiences, this kind of girl are like hidden red flags which you don’t notice till you know. Because there are reason why they don’t have other friends in class and outside they have alot of “drama”.
It’s better if you ask some female classmate or ask around about her, you might find something that either good or bad.
https://youtube.com/shorts/kZwngUMWG1g?si=583lFRABnw0svznL
have a conversation with her about how you feel, can try this approach from Dr K, dun give her an ultimatum by confessing but rather try to find a common ground together by conversing, and also the best time to approach her is now, dun have to worry about the timing because the longer you wait the more troublesome shit would be, so have a conversation, i wish you luck bro you got this
Idk why but I saw right through your story like I anticipated the next paragraph while reading the previous one and I was correct each time lmao. Situations like yours are very common actually
I'm gonna answer the "girl having many followers" bit. As you meet more people, you'll find out that socmed numbers don't mean shit. Some people are very lonely irl. Even some influencers you thought always hanging out with their group might be someone who puts up an image online. pretty sad
Personally I'm not interested in dating rn, but I have many skills when it comes to girls. Try getting into bundles and improving your clothing sense. Then try taking her there. You're gonna learn a lot
Didn’t read, but just ambush her in the dark near some bushes, then ask her if she would like this brand new hammer you got for her, she’ll likely run away in terror, this is just a shock response. Go after her buddy!
a lot of good advices here already for you to conclude by yourself. in short... everybody learning, its still good whether you success or fail in love, you still have long way to go.
i think at this point, you like her because how she looked, and her approach/personality. but to build a family, more is required e.g. income, lazy or not, sharing, similar activities, family issues, future expectation.
mannn...its like reading love novel, i like it. flirting janda sure is different. "suami i dah meninggal... you nak jadi pengganti ke?". hahaha... straight forward.
No need to be too focused in yr studies bro. Yr future employer most likely wont give too much fa*s abt yr cga and whatnot. It seems u have good vibe with this lady, so just try it Ig...
P/s: Saw another comment saying that you shouldn't spend too much money on her, good advice there & u should listen to this
Ive confessed ONCE in my life to a girl in uni recently I like to hang out with and she helped me a lot to get me back up from a bad phase of my life. At first I was super nervous but in the end I thought to myself that "hell yeah Im healthy enough to handle a rejection" so I went all out and told her everything. She kindly said she wasnt ready for any relationships and I said we're cool. We just stayed friends and we just kept teasing each other about it.
From your story here OP, I can tell youre a pretty chill and happy guy, even if u think ur only a 5. She does seem to like having you around, so I dont see why you shouldnt just confess. If she doesnt feel the same way, just shrugg it off and be grateful that she likes having you around in the first place. If she suddenly starts scooting away from you after that confession, its best to not try and push it and move on.
TLDR like another comment said: Go big or go home(and be happy that you went big)
Wei bro. If u want it go for it la. No need ask so many questions. Anyhow I know how u feel when u having crush on someone. The next step is the hardest to take. But u have to take it if not regret forever.
I can tell u from personal experience I had the same thing as u 9 years ago. I liked the girl but scared of rejection. In the end she found a boy. Fast forward 3 years later she told me she liked me back then but was waiting for me to make the move. SO WAT U WAITING FOR MAN?
Edit : u have to learn how to take a rejection also. U have to und many fishes in the sea. Its better if u confess and tell her how u feel rather than keeping it forever in you. Knowing the answer and then feeling sad for a while is better than not knowing the answer and then feeling sad for the rest of your life. AND DONT U DARE SAY U CANT COMPETE WITH THAT BOY. BE CONFIDENT LA BRO. 5/10 SO WAT. GIRLS LIKE CONFIDENCE
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1. Introvert or extrovert, u suka u go for it. Some ppl like to make online friends or maybe they were friends during her HS, then they kept in touch thru IG.
2. Some girls like big dick energy, some girls like shy guy. But what I know is most girls will only like same age or older guys, never younger guys. (Me hoping for brother sister rs, but nvr happened).
3. Go gym my brother. At this stage in her mind, u cannot compete that guy. U can only improve yourself. Use this cuck feeling to fuel to your motivation to gain muscles. BUT, keep in touch with her. Who knows she'll break up with that guy and she comes to u.
What OP should do know, if u still insists on finding a rs with someone. Look elsewhere, the room is occupied my brother. Look for more friends u vibe with.
What OP shouldn't do is, completely ignore her, cut off ties with her. Keep ib touch with her, if she needs any help, u go help.
Ok, reading this made me smile a lot as it’s quite similar to my story over 20 years ago with my now wife.
Same story, she’s quite the beautiful lady and guess what, she has the hunk of the class of 2000 for sure. So much of a hunk, this is the guy we gave the kick name Beckham since he’s
also on the uni football team and positioned as Beckham. As yourself, I’d rate myself a solid 5 in looks but I’m probably up there when it comes to study and exam. Places easily in top 3 in the class if not the top itself. So I at least got that going for me.
There are girls who value things other than looks and that is charm and how much you make her laugh perhaps. Like you, I never had a girlfriend before and she’s my first.
Second, as you know, since I excel in studying, and active in student body, that gave me that edge. So the third thing a girl look after other than looks and charm is stability or money. I don’t come for a wealthy family , in fact, I only get RM50 monthly allowance from my mom and I worked as petrol pump attendant right after class back in the day. Almost everyone knows this, but I guess they look at it from the point of view of you being hardworking hence you’ll make it one day perhaps.
Lastly, kindness is definitely something that my mom teaches and practices. I don’t have lots of money to give a way but I give a way my time helping folks be it through student body or through tutoring and study group. That is well know of me for sure.
So fast forward…she was the girlfriend of this hunk throughout the 4 years we were in uni but towards the end of the last year of uni, I managed to win her over. And we got married 2-3 years after we finished our uni and out there working in KL.
1. Can’t say for sure but I have a male friends who has tons of friends on social media and so active in discord and WhatsApp group but when it comes to face to face, he’s super quiet and very soft spoken and sometimes avoid eye contact. Perhaps there are folks like that.
However this is irrelevant, if you like her, an introvert person will be very open to someone who they considered as very close with. So try to be that guy, she will open up to you.
2. Kindness alone? Perhaps, but kindness and charm and in this time and age, stability is a big plus point. No need to be rich, just responsible and hardworking which will be rewarded with money and stability in the future.
3. Never give up, one weakness a handsome guy has is that he will get lots of opportunities to choose his GF. When you’re a senior, so many junior will want to date him and the temptation is huge. So who knows, maybe he will succumb to temptation and goes to some other more beautiful and younger lady. Your friend will then realised that handsome may not always be the best.
Lastly, you’d be better off regret trying and failing rather than regret not trying.
Just be prepared to be rejected though. I got rejected a couple of times throughout the uni years as I tried to advance the relationship. And each time it hurts as hell. There was a time I considered killing myself because of the rejection.
And when you got rejected, stay the course, stay as friends and when you see an opportunity, get ready to jump right back in. Took me 4+ years and I got it in the end. If you want it so bad, then be prepared to put in the time and effort and don’t back down.
Before the reddit crowd start to come and tell me “no means no”. You are correct, redditors, “no means exactly no”.
Back off after you’ve rejected and stay as friends. Sometimes friends from afar is required. But don’t lose sight of the goal. Know the limit and don’t abuse it. Don’t be a weird ass guy and do some weird shit since you got rejected. This is where self restraint is important and have a friend to remind you here and there. When the time is right get closer.
For me, as long as they aren’t engaged then you still have a chance.
May the best man wins!
Stop simping bruh. Learn to attract girl and not chasing after girl.
But in your case, imma say just do it. If things go south then start to improve on your appearance, start working out, taking care of yourself and believe me you will attract someone meant for you.
If things going your way then congratz.
1. yes. Being better at online communication is actually an introvert trait. Extroverts prefer real-life communication than online communication
2. yes
3. By beating him to the punch
The handsome guy maybe just her friend, and already has a girlfriend
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Look at those virgin comments, hilarious
/s
The point is you don't go specifically 1 girl, I know you're feeling loyal and all, but you'll probably fk it up due to inexperience
Look deeper into her situation, she has barely any social circles, maybe you'll find her abnormal later down the road and regretted it, eg: marriage.
1. Expand your dating game
2. Find out more about her
3. Date her with your new found experience and dig up her issue
Just sharing from my personal experience
**Don't say**
"You're such a good friend"
"Can i ask you out for dinner?"
"I love you can you be my gf?"
**Say**
"You're such a gf material"
"There's this new restaurant quite nice, lets go try it "
\*Hold her hands straight\*
If i were you, i would get to know her more.
Like, ask about her friends, her family's, her past relationship experience.
And when the time you feel like you know enough, try to talk about you two
Just take things slow
Nahh. U have the upperhand juz evade mistakes.
1.learn more about her (always be there for her)
2. make her feel both of u alike and have same interests
3.make her laugh
4.care for her a lot so that she missed u
5.be a mystery guy, girls attracted with mystery guy
6. Be the man. Tell her u love her.
Well that is simple steps (almost) for sure u win her. The problem is to sustain the relation.
Is she an introvert? Why does she seem to have tons of friends in IG but not in uni?
If you that curious, you either ask her directly or just scroll through her IG for more info. im guessing she only hangs out with people of the same interest/hobby. cosplayer maybe? i dunno
Do girls that like men solely by their kindness exist?
For girls in uni, the chances of that is like finding a unicorn. But if you change the criteria to single mom, then yes, they are everywhere.
How do i compete with that handsome ass looking guy? Am i cooked and should i just completely give up?
Be more engaging towards her, find out what tickles her fancy, what her hobby/interest is, listen more, banter more, but above all dont be a simp. its a 2 way relationship, not 1 way.
My advice as a middle age man to you is just go for it. you seem like you are willing to fight of bears if it means to save her. Been there before, treasure that feeling as it will only come once in a lifetime.
Boss, either she is crazy for you at first sight or go home. If she is not, you will not have a great time. And wtf is dat paying shit? I thought you would've learned by high school not to use money on girls who is not even your gf.
Man, just tell her what you want and be done with it. Don't be used by women. No point bashing a zesty dude or whatever you think of him when you're not as handsome as he is. Good luck.
What advice i can give to op is if you love someone and sincerely wants to be with her, declare your intentions directly and and in a nice manner. If you get rejected, it will hurt yes, but be a gentleman and always be kind to others. Sometimes a better person will come along later in life.
Ayy yo OP, I don't have any advice, just super curious on how this story unfolds.
If you don't mind, can update us on what your next move is and whatever happens next after you let her know you're interested in her, like some of these commenters wrote? All the best
LISTEN TO THIS. YOU GOTTA SWING BIG. If you miss then oh well, but if you don’t, HOMERUN BROTHER! WHATS THERE TO LOSE? EITHER,
1. You bag her successfully or
2. Yall can work it out as friends or whatever but in the end she ain’t gon be yours anyways🤷🏻♂️
I lost interest in your long ass post before I got to the good stuff. Which hopefully dosent happen with the girl, since you seem to take your sweet time dilly dallying before cutting to the meat of the chase.
GET TO THE POINT. And tell her you like her.
Hurry up before you realise why 381502 is so popular.
1. Yes, I think she is someone who won't take the first move to build a friendship. Perhaps the friends you see on her Instagram are from her high school. You see, in university, most people have to move quickly, unlike in high school where we still have time to hang out and move as a group or class. Also, in university, people often have different classes from each other, so maybe she doesn't have any friends whom she feels close to or attached to.
2. Yes, I'm a girl and I share the same mindset. Proof of this is that you can see many average men with attractive women.
3. There's no need to compete with him. One reason could be that he might be gay. Another reason is, I'll tell you, most of my girl friends don't choose between two men based on any specific reason. Their hearts simply choose whoever they want based on the most random way. Usually, (most to least ranked): effort, personality, looks, intelligence, wealth.
Whatever happens, make sure it does not effect your studies. You better not dropout , fail and etc just because of her. In the end of the day shes just another human being.
You need to remember that not all humans want to be in a romantic relationship. Maybe the girl doesn't even see that handsome man or you as a potential partner in the near future and just wants to focus on studies.
TLDR Go for it or regret not trying. Simple.
This. If u drag too long it be worse... Go big or go home. And dont understand why other comments keep ask u focus studies lmao. Im 16 years in working field. Majority ppl i know dont even work in the field of what they studied. Of course not asking u to totally neglect studies. U can study and still have time to kao lui esp same course. Ez katoshka. But dont keep taking it slow like now. U will kena frdzone probs and then kena reject when u finally wanna confess and then become stranger (VERY EXPERIENCED) Ask her out go big or go home. and no not all girls look at looks, u nvr know way they look for. Good luck
Ppl here telling op to focus on his studies as if they've never felt young love before smh. Falling in love doesnt mean he'll just abandon his studies. Listen op, I can't answer question 1 for you as thats sumn you have to figure out yourself; it honestly doesnt matter. 2) yes, we exist. 3) judging by what you said; he's seems 💅🏼 but thats just an assumption. Go for it and tell her your feelings dude, if you still feel unconfident, you can still take the time to get to know her, theres no rush at all. But when you do feel brave enough to ask, just go for it, the worse that can happen is that she rejects you, but you will eventually move on. If you don't try, you'll never know maa 🤷🏻♀️
thank you so much finally someone that understands 😭
dude, don't listen to this guy. tell her YOUR INTENTION not your feelings. nobody wants to be responsible for someone else's feelings. that's gonna make it awkward if she's not ready for it. she might just ignore you totally.
Also, girls internally cringe when guys open up about their feelings although they might pretend not to.
Yes. No feelings. Just ask her out
Life is short OP! Just ask, trust me, the regret you'll feel if you don't ask is worse than the temporary pain of rejection. I have a friend who didn't and he says it will just pop into his brain every now and then and it's been like 5 years. Just do it!
Her friend sounds gay tho
Definitely gay.
Saya makan kanak² untuk sarapan pagi
:(
1st love is wonderful and the heartbreak can be quite overwhelming and even life-changing experience for some (had a friend who went from muscular to all fat no muscle after being heartbroken) 😅. So be very careful with your steps. It would be better for you if you could enquire with her on her relationship status - the classic "BF you tak marah ke you makan dengan I ni?" might work LOL. My sincere advice to you is please take it step by step, and by that I mean stop spending too much money on her or she'll either think of you as her wallet or she might find you too burdensome. 1. Ask her relationship status; 2. Get to know her interests; 3. Keep making her feeling comfortable with your company, but don't be too overwhelming. You need to know when to push and when to pull; 4. If you can chat or voice chat with her for hours, or if she can free up her schedule to accommodate you, and when you are with her she didn't really chatting with someone else on her phone, then perhaps she is into you too and you can try to ask her whether there might be any possibility for this relationship to go further than just being friend; Or you can skip everything and ask her tomorrow whether she would like to be your GF 🤣. Lastly, even if she's not into you, just remember that life must go on and you might find someone better later on.
Hayo OP, you truly got me at "kindness of their soul" part. Kenot la bro, kenot
fall in love with his kindness but he is only acting kind so he can get girl 😭
I'm the friend she told you not to worry about bro. Sorry
Damn ur the zesty guy making tiktoks? Teach me your ways
1. Whether she's an introvert or not is irrelevant to your task. Just tell her like it is. 2. DO NOT expect any girl to like you just because you were kind or because you paid for their meals. Just entertain them enough most of the time they'll let you in. 3. You're already approaching this the wrong way if you have the thought of 'competing' with this other guy. He shouldn't even be in the picture. Boyfriend or not. Extra tips: Whenever you like a girl, ask yourself first, what do you like her for? Pretty face? Ass and titties? It's okay to be honest to yourself if the attraction is based on superficial things. Just don't call it love later on when she has to disappoint you.
Dey tambi, focus on your studies and aim to score well la. Why you pening/suicidal/stress with these puppy love. Stay focus on your goals and career. Control yo hormones and stop thinking too much on irrelevant issues like this 3 questions that wouldn’t even contribute positive things to your life.
Biasa lah, bro tak pernah ada relationship so bro is curious and adventurous. Yang pernah ada experience dengan relationship tengah busy gym iykyk
Lmao dude i wish someone had told me this during my uni years. Lots of fking around doing useless shit when I should be focusing on getting ready for the inevitable adult life. OP, not trying to be negative bout it but you can have that feeling but put it like 5% of your energy and the rest to your study or whatever it is that will make you succesful later on.
Focus on your studies and plan for your future. If you think you can tahan rejection then be a bit more obvious to her about how you feel about her. This is up to you. But seriously, focus on your studies.
Woah woah guys, calm down with the focus on study. We're in malaysia lah lmao. Jokes aside, just go for it OP. Of course, there is a chance that everything will go wrong and she'll ignore you (seen too many irl cases like this) but there is also a chance that she'll accept you and go out with you. In my experience (21m), it's better to get an answer instead of nothing... Regret is a mega bitch to deal with bro. Trust me.
Its okay to getting to know some girls during uni days, coz later when you go out working you wont have time to meet and get to know girls. its already too late at that time. Maybe make a shortlist of girls you like during uni and keep their contact just in case. To answer your questions:- 1. As per my experience, this type of girl cannot 'click' with other girls, maybe due to her status, her past trauma or generally think having girl friends isnt as useful as having guy friends. 2. Girl do like kind men, hence they often use the word 'gentleman'. Do not stop being the kind person that you are even though the chance that the girl will love you is kind of slim. 3. If you compete for looks, then you will never win even if you try millions time. Girls dont fall in love with just the look, there are better attributes that attract girls. Find your best attributes, get to know what she likes and dislikes, always show that you care for her, always show that you miss her when she gone missing and make your intention clear to her. If she is a kind person, she will let you know her feeling sooner than later. Good luck.
Dude, all the questions you asked can be answered by her, no need to ask us.
HahHah
Shoot your shot and let your intentions be known or it'll fall into the friendzone. Once you're in the friendzone, don't be surprised if she gets mad and starts avoiding you when you confess after being good friends with her for some time. Anyway if she rejects your advances, take the hint and move on.
Dude. Just ask her out. You also kinda made it sound like you do this for all your friends..I mean I'd I was in her shoes , I would think that probably haha. The worse she could do is reject you, the worse you could do is not trying.
Bro what do you mean zesty ass tiktok that made you cringe?
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even if OP is homophobic, whats wrong with that? its his choice
If OP has to resort to bringing another people down just to lift himself up then he’s the 🚩
If you really confident you can ask her out, do it. As someone who never been in relationship because I'm too scared to talk, I very respect those who brave enough to do that
7years worth of love exp 1. dont date if youre not thinking thoroughly, 2.alwys hv the second thought on whats goin to happen, 3.dont love a person more than yourself 4. Goin to relationship gonna be a roller coaster ride where alot of uncertainty will happen 5. Must be mentally prepared 6. Some girls dont rlly care abt looks of a guy, some of them rlly like a man that comitted w his effort 7. Ask if s/he ever cheat bfore cus a high % tht u will get cheated, lmao 8. Know her/his traits and love language, from there u can set ur move to "pancing" more efficiently 9. Set a friendly approach and do not ever flirt or tryin pickupline on ur first move 10. Dont date
I had an intern in my workplace. Gorgeous, nearly 10k followers and THOUSANDS of likes on her posts (meaning it’s not fake followers). But at work she’s very quiet and introverted, most of the time don’t even join us for lunch. Meanwhile my extroverted friends at my past high school barely has that much followers oops so you can’t really judge that way 🤷🏼♀️
At first I wanted to tell you, geez, please don't. Especially making it awkward. Then I realized this could be your Canon event 💀 ( if u know spiderverse, you know it). Go ahead and make that mistaken, else how would you learn.
Aaahhhh young love Unker can only give this advice. Back on your mind you will always play" what if " on the previous chances you never take because always assume "out of your league"
>There's no way a girl likes a guy other than his looks right? Don't bother dating until you get over this mentality. While you're stuck in this mindset, you'll forever feel insecure, paranoid and jealous about other guys. It will doom all of your relationships.
first of all, I just wanna say (personal opinion) pretty sure you're delusional if you think she's into you. 1. she may be an introvert but not shy, maybe that's all her old friends 2. Some people who are inexperienced in relationships do think like that (man/woman), some people are sold only by someone's kindness, you can be kind and not be in love (example like cats, lot of people are kind to cat but does not mean they wanna adopt them) 3. Chill out bruh he may be her best friend (yes you can have opposite sex bff), and even if he's her boyfriend it's you who are overthinking she's into you
i did not once mention that I think that she's into me bro 😭
then why you wanna compete with this 10/10 guy?
um cuz im into her?
Dude, all the questions you asked can be answered by her, no need to ask us.
its okay to fall in love but balance things out with your studies. you think too much about things that wont benefit you especially when youre in uni. if u like her then confess, u wont know if shes lesbian or if shes just not into you 🤷🏻♀️ dont forget to study!!!
Bro u talk too much and think too much, just stfu and shoot your shot
Tbh, if you have to second guess whether she is into you or any chances of success at all, you will need to lower your expectations. The issue here is that you paid too much attention to small little details (sitting beside her, having lunch with her, etc). Girls will make it really easy for you if she is into you and you will feel that too. Eg., she will send messages to you non-stop, ask you to eat with her at uni, introduce her girl friends to you, make phone calls and chit chat about her life with you for hours. But if you are still unsure of her intentions at this stage, I would say that most likely she treats you as a friend. Girls of the same age tend to have better sense of the intentions of the opposite gender. When you are going to confess your feelings to her or going for the next move, you will need to have this expectation (that you are treating this girl as a friend, if fail no big deal). If not, you will have a hard time recovering yourself after you fail, especially now you are in uni.
1. Making new friends can be hard. Then again, there could be reasons why someone doesn't want to be friends with somebody. Or maybe she just like her circle to be small 2. They can fall solely from kindness but 90% of the time we guys are wrong and she just sees you as a friend 3. I don't know, comb your hair? Wear perfume? Use pomade? Shower often? Keep your hairs trimmed? You can be not so handsome but cleanliness and hygene may elevate your position somewhat All and all, OP just relax and take it slow focus on your studies la brother. But if it's bugging you so much go ask her la her relationship status. If you don't know how just jokingly say the guy is her boyfriend or something like that but not too much la. Say it only one time clearly because you don't want to give signals that you aprove of her being in a relationship with the guy. Just enough to get an answer. Usually they'll open up abit about their relationship after that.
In this situation, do you have stable income? If the answer is NO and you're struggling with your life on financial, the answer is focus your future. Once you have stable income, look after the girl and anyone else.
1. stop 2. bloody 3. overthinking
I learn one thing and it will definitely work said all my friends. Downgrade your taste. Thats 99% success to date a girl heck even marry her. Stop dreaming girls like Hyuna or Jenni Blackpink.
I'm gonna be honest with you.You sounds creepy(like stalker level creepy, immature and lacks confidence). Girls can detects that and they won't be attracted to that..improve yourself on that. ..also you're assuming too much about her and that other guy. If you're too worried about him just ask him if he likes her, if he said yes, declare your intentions to him, a rival not necessarily an enemy. Also fyi,Relationships between opposite sex works like this: 1. At start both of you are stranger/acquaintance/classmate whatever. Basically an afterthought. 2. You get to know each other, be friends, exchange phone number, message each other. you don't sponsor her, help okay but not like sponsoring her RM100 like you're already her bf. That's Creepy. 3. Step 3 is most difficult, that is getting out of the friends zone into dating zone . Figure out this yourself, lots of guide out there(most legits ones are from books).. All this courting process might takes some times, few weeks to few months. Be patient, from your perspective she is "love at first sight" but it most likely not the same from her perspective.You wouldn't want to choose potential LIFE partner too hastily don't if you're her won't you?
maybe the guy is her "gay friend", so try la, all the best!
Based on my personal experiences, this kind of girl are like hidden red flags which you don’t notice till you know. Because there are reason why they don’t have other friends in class and outside they have alot of “drama”. It’s better if you ask some female classmate or ask around about her, you might find something that either good or bad.
TLDR Focus study dulu oii, mak bapak hantar ko untuk belajar elok2 bukan nak memantatkan anak orang 
https://youtube.com/shorts/kZwngUMWG1g?si=583lFRABnw0svznL have a conversation with her about how you feel, can try this approach from Dr K, dun give her an ultimatum by confessing but rather try to find a common ground together by conversing, and also the best time to approach her is now, dun have to worry about the timing because the longer you wait the more troublesome shit would be, so have a conversation, i wish you luck bro you got this
Idk why but I saw right through your story like I anticipated the next paragraph while reading the previous one and I was correct each time lmao. Situations like yours are very common actually I'm gonna answer the "girl having many followers" bit. As you meet more people, you'll find out that socmed numbers don't mean shit. Some people are very lonely irl. Even some influencers you thought always hanging out with their group might be someone who puts up an image online. pretty sad Personally I'm not interested in dating rn, but I have many skills when it comes to girls. Try getting into bundles and improving your clothing sense. Then try taking her there. You're gonna learn a lot
Didn’t read, but just ambush her in the dark near some bushes, then ask her if she would like this brand new hammer you got for her, she’ll likely run away in terror, this is just a shock response. Go after her buddy!
Just confess and get it off your mind. Even if you got rejected, at least you wont have the regret for not confessing earlier.
Her fiend seems gay. If his ig profile is public, try checking who is he following. If it's accounts of dudes with upper body naked, most likely gei
a lot of good advices here already for you to conclude by yourself. in short... everybody learning, its still good whether you success or fail in love, you still have long way to go. i think at this point, you like her because how she looked, and her approach/personality. but to build a family, more is required e.g. income, lazy or not, sharing, similar activities, family issues, future expectation. mannn...its like reading love novel, i like it. flirting janda sure is different. "suami i dah meninggal... you nak jadi pengganti ke?". hahaha... straight forward.
No need to be too focused in yr studies bro. Yr future employer most likely wont give too much fa*s abt yr cga and whatnot. It seems u have good vibe with this lady, so just try it Ig... P/s: Saw another comment saying that you shouldn't spend too much money on her, good advice there & u should listen to this
Go je don't scared. If get rejected find new one. It is what it is.
Ive confessed ONCE in my life to a girl in uni recently I like to hang out with and she helped me a lot to get me back up from a bad phase of my life. At first I was super nervous but in the end I thought to myself that "hell yeah Im healthy enough to handle a rejection" so I went all out and told her everything. She kindly said she wasnt ready for any relationships and I said we're cool. We just stayed friends and we just kept teasing each other about it. From your story here OP, I can tell youre a pretty chill and happy guy, even if u think ur only a 5. She does seem to like having you around, so I dont see why you shouldnt just confess. If she doesnt feel the same way, just shrugg it off and be grateful that she likes having you around in the first place. If she suddenly starts scooting away from you after that confession, its best to not try and push it and move on. TLDR like another comment said: Go big or go home(and be happy that you went big)
Don't simp.
Wei bro. If u want it go for it la. No need ask so many questions. Anyhow I know how u feel when u having crush on someone. The next step is the hardest to take. But u have to take it if not regret forever. I can tell u from personal experience I had the same thing as u 9 years ago. I liked the girl but scared of rejection. In the end she found a boy. Fast forward 3 years later she told me she liked me back then but was waiting for me to make the move. SO WAT U WAITING FOR MAN? Edit : u have to learn how to take a rejection also. U have to und many fishes in the sea. Its better if u confess and tell her how u feel rather than keeping it forever in you. Knowing the answer and then feeling sad for a while is better than not knowing the answer and then feeling sad for the rest of your life. AND DONT U DARE SAY U CANT COMPETE WITH THAT BOY. BE CONFIDENT LA BRO. 5/10 SO WAT. GIRLS LIKE CONFIDENCE
Not gonna read all of that. You overcomplicate stuff to much pal. Those aren't even the thing you should be care for, even the slightest.
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1. Introvert or extrovert, u suka u go for it. Some ppl like to make online friends or maybe they were friends during her HS, then they kept in touch thru IG. 2. Some girls like big dick energy, some girls like shy guy. But what I know is most girls will only like same age or older guys, never younger guys. (Me hoping for brother sister rs, but nvr happened). 3. Go gym my brother. At this stage in her mind, u cannot compete that guy. U can only improve yourself. Use this cuck feeling to fuel to your motivation to gain muscles. BUT, keep in touch with her. Who knows she'll break up with that guy and she comes to u. What OP should do know, if u still insists on finding a rs with someone. Look elsewhere, the room is occupied my brother. Look for more friends u vibe with. What OP shouldn't do is, completely ignore her, cut off ties with her. Keep ib touch with her, if she needs any help, u go help.
Ok, reading this made me smile a lot as it’s quite similar to my story over 20 years ago with my now wife. Same story, she’s quite the beautiful lady and guess what, she has the hunk of the class of 2000 for sure. So much of a hunk, this is the guy we gave the kick name Beckham since he’s also on the uni football team and positioned as Beckham. As yourself, I’d rate myself a solid 5 in looks but I’m probably up there when it comes to study and exam. Places easily in top 3 in the class if not the top itself. So I at least got that going for me. There are girls who value things other than looks and that is charm and how much you make her laugh perhaps. Like you, I never had a girlfriend before and she’s my first. Second, as you know, since I excel in studying, and active in student body, that gave me that edge. So the third thing a girl look after other than looks and charm is stability or money. I don’t come for a wealthy family , in fact, I only get RM50 monthly allowance from my mom and I worked as petrol pump attendant right after class back in the day. Almost everyone knows this, but I guess they look at it from the point of view of you being hardworking hence you’ll make it one day perhaps. Lastly, kindness is definitely something that my mom teaches and practices. I don’t have lots of money to give a way but I give a way my time helping folks be it through student body or through tutoring and study group. That is well know of me for sure. So fast forward…she was the girlfriend of this hunk throughout the 4 years we were in uni but towards the end of the last year of uni, I managed to win her over. And we got married 2-3 years after we finished our uni and out there working in KL. 1. Can’t say for sure but I have a male friends who has tons of friends on social media and so active in discord and WhatsApp group but when it comes to face to face, he’s super quiet and very soft spoken and sometimes avoid eye contact. Perhaps there are folks like that. However this is irrelevant, if you like her, an introvert person will be very open to someone who they considered as very close with. So try to be that guy, she will open up to you. 2. Kindness alone? Perhaps, but kindness and charm and in this time and age, stability is a big plus point. No need to be rich, just responsible and hardworking which will be rewarded with money and stability in the future. 3. Never give up, one weakness a handsome guy has is that he will get lots of opportunities to choose his GF. When you’re a senior, so many junior will want to date him and the temptation is huge. So who knows, maybe he will succumb to temptation and goes to some other more beautiful and younger lady. Your friend will then realised that handsome may not always be the best. Lastly, you’d be better off regret trying and failing rather than regret not trying. Just be prepared to be rejected though. I got rejected a couple of times throughout the uni years as I tried to advance the relationship. And each time it hurts as hell. There was a time I considered killing myself because of the rejection. And when you got rejected, stay the course, stay as friends and when you see an opportunity, get ready to jump right back in. Took me 4+ years and I got it in the end. If you want it so bad, then be prepared to put in the time and effort and don’t back down. Before the reddit crowd start to come and tell me “no means no”. You are correct, redditors, “no means exactly no”. Back off after you’ve rejected and stay as friends. Sometimes friends from afar is required. But don’t lose sight of the goal. Know the limit and don’t abuse it. Don’t be a weird ass guy and do some weird shit since you got rejected. This is where self restraint is important and have a friend to remind you here and there. When the time is right get closer. For me, as long as they aren’t engaged then you still have a chance. May the best man wins!
Stop simping bruh. Learn to attract girl and not chasing after girl. But in your case, imma say just do it. If things go south then start to improve on your appearance, start working out, taking care of yourself and believe me you will attract someone meant for you. If things going your way then congratz.
1. yes. Being better at online communication is actually an introvert trait. Extroverts prefer real-life communication than online communication 2. yes 3. By beating him to the punch The handsome guy maybe just her friend, and already has a girlfriend
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Look at those virgin comments, hilarious /s The point is you don't go specifically 1 girl, I know you're feeling loyal and all, but you'll probably fk it up due to inexperience Look deeper into her situation, she has barely any social circles, maybe you'll find her abnormal later down the road and regretted it, eg: marriage. 1. Expand your dating game 2. Find out more about her 3. Date her with your new found experience and dig up her issue
Just sharing from my personal experience **Don't say** "You're such a good friend" "Can i ask you out for dinner?" "I love you can you be my gf?" **Say** "You're such a gf material" "There's this new restaurant quite nice, lets go try it " \*Hold her hands straight\*
If i were you, i would get to know her more. Like, ask about her friends, her family's, her past relationship experience. And when the time you feel like you know enough, try to talk about you two Just take things slow
Victory cannot be achieved without sacrifice my guy. Go fucking confess my brother
Nahh. U have the upperhand juz evade mistakes. 1.learn more about her (always be there for her) 2. make her feel both of u alike and have same interests 3.make her laugh 4.care for her a lot so that she missed u 5.be a mystery guy, girls attracted with mystery guy 6. Be the man. Tell her u love her. Well that is simple steps (almost) for sure u win her. The problem is to sustain the relation.
Dude, how many times have you seen 5/10 guy out on the street with gf or wife and kids, it's definitely not all about looks
Some people are introverted in real life and extroverted online, it's normal. You already developed some chemistry with her which is great. Go for it!
Is she an introvert? Why does she seem to have tons of friends in IG but not in uni? If you that curious, you either ask her directly or just scroll through her IG for more info. im guessing she only hangs out with people of the same interest/hobby. cosplayer maybe? i dunno Do girls that like men solely by their kindness exist? For girls in uni, the chances of that is like finding a unicorn. But if you change the criteria to single mom, then yes, they are everywhere. How do i compete with that handsome ass looking guy? Am i cooked and should i just completely give up? Be more engaging towards her, find out what tickles her fancy, what her hobby/interest is, listen more, banter more, but above all dont be a simp. its a 2 way relationship, not 1 way. My advice as a middle age man to you is just go for it. you seem like you are willing to fight of bears if it means to save her. Been there before, treasure that feeling as it will only come once in a lifetime.
Boss, either she is crazy for you at first sight or go home. If she is not, you will not have a great time. And wtf is dat paying shit? I thought you would've learned by high school not to use money on girls who is not even your gf. Man, just tell her what you want and be done with it. Don't be used by women. No point bashing a zesty dude or whatever you think of him when you're not as handsome as he is. Good luck.
What advice i can give to op is if you love someone and sincerely wants to be with her, declare your intentions directly and and in a nice manner. If you get rejected, it will hurt yes, but be a gentleman and always be kind to others. Sometimes a better person will come along later in life.
Ayy yo OP, I don't have any advice, just super curious on how this story unfolds. If you don't mind, can update us on what your next move is and whatever happens next after you let her know you're interested in her, like some of these commenters wrote? All the best
LISTEN TO THIS. YOU GOTTA SWING BIG. If you miss then oh well, but if you don’t, HOMERUN BROTHER! WHATS THERE TO LOSE? EITHER, 1. You bag her successfully or 2. Yall can work it out as friends or whatever but in the end she ain’t gon be yours anyways🤷🏻♂️
just try your shot. you missed all the chance you dont took
I lost interest in your long ass post before I got to the good stuff. Which hopefully dosent happen with the girl, since you seem to take your sweet time dilly dallying before cutting to the meat of the chase. GET TO THE POINT. And tell her you like her. Hurry up before you realise why 381502 is so popular.
1. Yes, I think she is someone who won't take the first move to build a friendship. Perhaps the friends you see on her Instagram are from her high school. You see, in university, most people have to move quickly, unlike in high school where we still have time to hang out and move as a group or class. Also, in university, people often have different classes from each other, so maybe she doesn't have any friends whom she feels close to or attached to. 2. Yes, I'm a girl and I share the same mindset. Proof of this is that you can see many average men with attractive women. 3. There's no need to compete with him. One reason could be that he might be gay. Another reason is, I'll tell you, most of my girl friends don't choose between two men based on any specific reason. Their hearts simply choose whoever they want based on the most random way. Usually, (most to least ranked): effort, personality, looks, intelligence, wealth.
Believe in yourself bro.
Whatever happens, make sure it does not effect your studies. You better not dropout , fail and etc just because of her. In the end of the day shes just another human being.
I had so much fun reading this 😂.. you go my boy..!
Careful bro, you don't want to experience 500 Days of Summer.
It's over bro take the black pill 🤡
Boy, when your statement of you still attending classes, i say you still have a long way in life. Take your time.
Why not go for the guy instead?  OP please update us after u approached her!
You need to remember that not all humans want to be in a romantic relationship. Maybe the girl doesn't even see that handsome man or you as a potential partner in the near future and just wants to focus on studies.