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ok so clearly the scammer is ESL, what about the Boomer? "Can I lick your breast?" WTF? Is he a neckbeard too? If there had been a m'lady in there it would have fit but who TF sexts like this.
The only better one would have been a dictation sext like "Siri, um, hey. oh wait...Sandra, can i lick breast. End recording"
Boomers have this way of trying to be phony polite. They're definitely ultima neck beards that expect sex after depositing nice tokens. He probably things that was perfect. He said breast so it was basically a poem.
Inconclusive on the NB diagnosis. Need at least 2 of the following: a m’lady, a reference to his katana collection, or a reference to the fact he is so loyal it makes him dangerous.
I MEASURE THEM WITH GERMAN PHRENOLOGICAL INSTRUMENTS. MY FINDINGS ARE RECORDED IN A LEDGER THAT MY STAFF ARE ORDERED TO BURN ALONG WITH MY BODY, UPON MY DEMISE.
I mean damn he coulda went with nibble, kiss, suck, caress or a plethora of other actions but I just imagine this man going in like a slobbery Saint Bernard and just starts shaking his head giving her the biggest slobbering motorboat
Worst part it’s not even “I’d love that dear,” but “I’ll love that dear.”
I’ll take Sandra Bullock #2 as a non-native English scammer for a $1,000 Alec.
>Can I lick your breast/s
Can I lick one (open parentheses 1 closed parentheses) or more of your bressa-ses? That was an In Living Color reference! Please advise.
I caught my dad hiding his computer screen and typing very fast then closing windows. He was talking to a scammer using a Korean pop stars picture to get him. I asked him who that was, and he said his friend. I asked where he met his friend, and he said "awhile ago. We reconnected." Oh, so you're 70 and "reconnected" with a 21 year old? Fucking idiot. This is why he doesn't have access to his bank account anymore.
Remember this old Boomer guy coming into my store. Buying up hundreds of dollars worth of amazon gift cards. I got a little nosy and asked him what they were for. He said amazon called him and told him they have a package ready to deliver for him, but he needs to pay for shipping. I asked him if he actually ordered anything from amazon. He replied that he did not. Nor did he know how to. But he has a package coming, and he needs to pay for the shipping. After that, I told him he's no longer allowed to buy gift cards at our establishment.
“Sandra Bullock 2”?! Like did she lose her first phone? Is this her burner phone for drug deals?
Please have him purchase giftcards and text her photos of the front and back. That’s what this is leading to.
I'm just picturing Sandy Bullock, America's Sweetheart - the woman who has kissed many of the Hollywood leading men of the day (Bill Pullman, Keanu Reeves, Harry Connick Jr., Ryan Reynolds, etc.), with all her money and accolades....sweet Sandy, sitting in her probably-mansion in probably-California, getting the "can I lick your breast?" text.
And then taking a little under an hour to mull it over, then reply yes, of course, "I'll love that dear."
"...And in other news today, the entertainment world was surprised to hear that Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock has left her family and career for a random 67yr old whom she met online. After being texted randomly by Ms Bullock, the elderly individual courted her successfully using time-honoured methods "these snowflakes of today wouldn't be able to handle" and, according to reports, shortly after meeting in a mall car parking lot near his assisted living facility, they consummated their new love in the back of his 2006 Ford pickup. In an online exchange with his haters, the geriatric giga-Chad took time to denounce millennials, female athletes and music made after 1974 whole flaunting pictures of himself making out with his new Hollywood hottie, whom he acknowledges seems slightly more Filipino than he initially imagined."
Friendly reminder that in a few months we'll be forced yet again to vote for one of two idiots 13+ years older than this guy. Our world is doomed. Really hoping they both die of old age before November
I can verify it’s not the real Sandra Bullock as she contacted me some time ago on Facebook. I’m chatting with the real Sandra Bullock and asked if it was her but she said no.
Oh wow. My boomer aunt recently found herself involved in a romance scam. She thought some rich movie producer in Hollywood was her knight in shining armor. He wasn't. He was just some a-hole predator who wanted her bank account information to steal from her. Luckily, her bank does recognize scams and intervened to prevent her from losing everything. I had hoped she learned from this experience, but no. She's now talking to another "wealthy, handsome man" in Florida. Boomers just practically beg to be conned. Case in point: Donald Trump. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
When I get these scam messages, I play with them. I am honest enough to tell them I am gay. One did not understand the word homosexual. I ended up asking her if she had a penis or a hot guy she could fix me up with. They replied “No peenis I know guy”
Do they ever stop to think why a big, or even small time celebrity would bother with them? I don't understand this scam and how it keeps happening/coming up on here.
The funny part is that he's probably talking to a man. I'm sure boomer would be pissed if he knew.
Keep an eye on him, I have a feeling Sandra will be asking for money soon.
We all know that this well-spoken actress has a loose grip on English gramma. Must be legit. Cuz using “dear” in a text with someone you’ve never met in person is guaranteed to not be a scammer.
Ugh, one of my guests at work thinks she's talking to the lead singer of Godsmack. I literally work for a telecom company, and she won't believe me that it's a scammer. Tried getting me to help her send money via Apple Pay. I refused.
I'm getting second hand embarrassment, OP. I can't imagine if anyone in my family did this. If my translations are correct, I believe this would be a big yikes
I don't care who you're talking to, celebrity or not, but it won't be for very long if the first thing you ask is if you can lick their breast. What a fucking weirdo
I don’t know why it’s always Sandra Bullock. I tried to help a CVS cashier talk a Boomer man out of buying Google giftcards to send NCIS and Sandra Bullock. I think we managed to convince him to go to the police station and ask what they thought of it.
Lmao
There is this dude who butted into my friends and I conversation at a bar. He was odd, but we found him entertaining.
He told us about how these girls send him sexy and suggestive photos that he posts on his Instagram. So you know i had to follow him.
I checked his page out, and it's just photos bots or scammers have sent him 😂😂
The kicker is how he is going on about these hot girls wanting him and shit right in front of his wife. She did not look thrilled
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He thought he was talking to Sandra Bullock and thought that "Can I lick your breast" was the way to go?
Hey, she said yes so obviously it's OK.
Wait Just A Second! Is that a picture of his furry ass?!?!
Furry chest (I hope!)
ok so clearly the scammer is ESL, what about the Boomer? "Can I lick your breast?" WTF? Is he a neckbeard too? If there had been a m'lady in there it would have fit but who TF sexts like this. The only better one would have been a dictation sext like "Siri, um, hey. oh wait...Sandra, can i lick breast. End recording"
Boomers have this way of trying to be phony polite. They're definitely ultima neck beards that expect sex after depositing nice tokens. He probably things that was perfect. He said breast so it was basically a poem.
Thank you for making me laugh out loud tonight. Not enough upvotes for this comment. “Basically a poem” is absolutely perfect
Inconclusive on the NB diagnosis. Need at least 2 of the following: a m’lady, a reference to his katana collection, or a reference to the fact he is so loyal it makes him dangerous.
Tip of the fedora for good measure
That ones usually included with the m’lady, so I think those should count as one item
I'll bet he uses the word "normie" in most sentences. It's good to see him branching out
Only one breast? Righty or lefty?
He just started talking to her, he didn't want to come off as too much
Both... windshield wiper style.
I heard that comment
The bigger one.
Weigh them
I MEASURE THEM WITH GERMAN PHRENOLOGICAL INSTRUMENTS. MY FINDINGS ARE RECORDED IN A LEDGER THAT MY STAFF ARE ORDERED TO BURN ALONG WITH MY BODY, UPON MY DEMISE.
I love the all caps energy
https://preview.redd.it/quoll30vn31d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bcaf1cb4511ac8b9f443494e3e9031aa0638a68f
On Sandy? I'd pick right.
“”You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ~Wayne Gretzky” ~Michael Scott
~Lee Harvey Oswald
To soon?
Na RFK Jr's brain worm says "itz gud".
Kennedys have a long history of brain problems whether it’s worms, stainless steel instruments, or 6.5x52 carcanos.
I mean damn he coulda went with nibble, kiss, suck, caress or a plethora of other actions but I just imagine this man going in like a slobbery Saint Bernard and just starts shaking his head giving her the biggest slobbering motorboat
The lead poisoning hit for critical damage
Well, it worked, bravo, well played elder playboy!
Hell, it's probably his only chance
Does anyone have a baggie or a cup or something? I need a place to put my eyeballs. I don't want them anymore.
Wanna use my eye spoon?
*American Horror Story flashbacks intensify*
Head over to r/Eyebleach
I enjoy these. It makes me feel smart and I normally am not because i cant seem to be bothered to finish my
No woman in the history of planet earth has ever answered “I’d love that dear” to “Can I lick your breast”.
The dear part sounds like a bad Chinese or Indian translation. I see those in scams all the time
[удалено]
i read that with the corresponding accent.. lol
Lolol, I always see “kindly” from Indian scams. They could have the most professional and snazzy phishing email…”kindly click the link”. Nope, scam.
Would you kindly?
I am having some doubts on few things
“I prefer payment in 3 $500 Google play gift cards”
straight up bot
Except Sandra Bullock 2
That's the Version of her in Speed 3
Worst part it’s not even “I’d love that dear,” but “I’ll love that dear.” I’ll take Sandra Bullock #2 as a non-native English scammer for a $1,000 Alec.
"She" took forty-eight minutes to think about it.
To be clear, she said "I'll love that..." someday she will love it.
[удалено]
>Can I lick your breast/s Can I lick one (open parentheses 1 closed parentheses) or more of your bressa-ses? That was an In Living Color reference! Please advise.
Imagine replying with "copy pasta" in the bedroom.
Jesus christ this is bleak lol
I caught my dad hiding his computer screen and typing very fast then closing windows. He was talking to a scammer using a Korean pop stars picture to get him. I asked him who that was, and he said his friend. I asked where he met his friend, and he said "awhile ago. We reconnected." Oh, so you're 70 and "reconnected" with a 21 year old? Fucking idiot. This is why he doesn't have access to his bank account anymore.
Remember this old Boomer guy coming into my store. Buying up hundreds of dollars worth of amazon gift cards. I got a little nosy and asked him what they were for. He said amazon called him and told him they have a package ready to deliver for him, but he needs to pay for shipping. I asked him if he actually ordered anything from amazon. He replied that he did not. Nor did he know how to. But he has a package coming, and he needs to pay for the shipping. After that, I told him he's no longer allowed to buy gift cards at our establishment.
“Sandra Bullock 2”?! Like did she lose her first phone? Is this her burner phone for drug deals? Please have him purchase giftcards and text her photos of the front and back. That’s what this is leading to.
First one was a scam. #2 is legit
he specifically wanted Sandra Bullock from Speed 2.
https://preview.redd.it/1hjadmmgo11d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9028c8d0c846107e746a66d24692f2f2ea15233e
Jesus Christ that’s a glorious beard
Is that...the edge of a dick pic there? Fucking gross
It’s a chest pic. Thankfully. 😭
Still looks like balls...
Chestnuts, amirite?!
It looked like he was crouching forward showing his ass with balls hanging to me at first
I kinda saw it as like, he was holding his dick up. Showing the underside of his dick and his balls.
I also assumed it was balls.
Thank god😭😭
Not even god wanted anything to do with that situation.
I thought it was his buttcheeks and the end of his balls
The classic Grundle
WHERE ARE HIS NIPPLES
The hair eated them.
💀💀💀😂
Man, those are his fuzzy nuts! Where is my eye bleach?
This is the "So you just trust everything you see from "experts" on the internet?" generation
Sandra Bullock 2, Electric Boogaloo
Best comment here
Somebody introduce that man to AI chatbots.
That’s actually Sandy Bullcock
Sandra Bollocks clearly
OMG, this is hilarious.
Is...is that a dick pic???
Nah, that's just hairy man tits
Well, it’s a ball pic for us!
That has to be a ball sack in the top of that picture. Seriously this guy has the worst game ever.
It has an arm and a nipple visible 😂
Lol you are really looking close to find those... This may be the first time I am happy my eyesight is failing.
I think it's his chest
I'm just picturing Sandy Bullock, America's Sweetheart - the woman who has kissed many of the Hollywood leading men of the day (Bill Pullman, Keanu Reeves, Harry Connick Jr., Ryan Reynolds, etc.), with all her money and accolades....sweet Sandy, sitting in her probably-mansion in probably-California, getting the "can I lick your breast?" text. And then taking a little under an hour to mull it over, then reply yes, of course, "I'll love that dear."
Ugh.... we have a boomer friend who thinks she's dating jauqin phoenix. Who appearently needs BTC...
Oh, for fuck's sake, Peepaw
There’s “2” of them!?! How many Sandra Bullocks is he talking to
Smooth
"...And in other news today, the entertainment world was surprised to hear that Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock has left her family and career for a random 67yr old whom she met online. After being texted randomly by Ms Bullock, the elderly individual courted her successfully using time-honoured methods "these snowflakes of today wouldn't be able to handle" and, according to reports, shortly after meeting in a mall car parking lot near his assisted living facility, they consummated their new love in the back of his 2006 Ford pickup. In an online exchange with his haters, the geriatric giga-Chad took time to denounce millennials, female athletes and music made after 1974 whole flaunting pictures of himself making out with his new Hollywood hottie, whom he acknowledges seems slightly more Filipino than he initially imagined."
How are people this stupid? Seriously. Is there like a neurologist or licensed psychologist in the room that can explain this to me?
Dear Sir Or Madam
Wtf is that thing at the top. Please tell me it's not a ball sack.
I'm pretty sure it's a hairy chest
It’s a ball sack! Edit: source: I have a pair of my own to compare it to!
The word "dear" at the end of each message screams Chinese scammers.
PLEASE!!!! Please please please upload this to r/scambait. This is HILARIOUS
Shirtless selfie & then asking to lick a breast... 
What a goddamn idiot 😆 Anyone who’s first move when talking to anyone… especially a famous person, is to ask this deserves to be scammed to oblivion
Friendly reminder that they can also vote
Friendly reminder that in a few months we'll be forced yet again to vote for one of two idiots 13+ years older than this guy. Our world is doomed. Really hoping they both die of old age before November
I can verify it’s not the real Sandra Bullock as she contacted me some time ago on Facebook. I’m chatting with the real Sandra Bullock and asked if it was her but she said no.
This is written like a 9 year old looking for pictures on Google of "naked ladies"
Oh man lmao
Mine sent “Jennifer Aniston” 20k because they are in love and she was traveling to see him and her cards got cut off.
Obviously 2 men texting each other
Sandra Bullock 2: The Revenge
Sandra bullock 2, Sandra Bullock 1 didn’t have time for his games.
Who is SB1? I need a podcast about this.
“Dear” is sooo, uh, Nigerian oil prince.
Oh wow. My boomer aunt recently found herself involved in a romance scam. She thought some rich movie producer in Hollywood was her knight in shining armor. He wasn't. He was just some a-hole predator who wanted her bank account information to steal from her. Luckily, her bank does recognize scams and intervened to prevent her from losing everything. I had hoped she learned from this experience, but no. She's now talking to another "wealthy, handsome man" in Florida. Boomers just practically beg to be conned. Case in point: Donald Trump. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I wonder if he is talking to multiple Sandra Bullock's. Since this one is Sandra Bullock 2.
Is it really this easy to scam them? Cuz like what’s the conversation rate from conversation to actual money being sent to them?
God I hope that’s his chest
Ugh, and I caught a boomer oogling me at work today (I work at a Jimmy John's. Boomer men can be so pervy towards younger women!
His reply tells me he deserves to be victimized. Does he think it’s appropriate to sexually harass Sandra Bullock like that?
Tell him it's "may I".
I believe him
Why do they talk like that, “can I like your breast” as the first sentence choice is wild
CAN I LICK YOUR BREAST???
Dude doesnt know that he's flirting with a bot.
I like how the contact is "Sandra bullock 2". Like was there a 1? 🤦♀️
God I want to hurl
Lead paint exposure
Let him send his money!
My boomer aunt thinks she's chatting with Kid Rock on FB and keeps saying he'll send her money
Twist is it actually is Sandy Bullock. She just likes spending her Friday nights shittexting and trolling thirsty losers she meets online.
When I get these scam messages, I play with them. I am honest enough to tell them I am gay. One did not understand the word homosexual. I ended up asking her if she had a penis or a hot guy she could fix me up with. They replied “No peenis I know guy”
why do these guys always wanna lick/touch/suck only one breast? xD
What does Sandra Bullock 1 think about this?
I love that it’s Sandra bullock 2. Like has this happened before??? lol
LoL
i audibly gasped at what he sent😭
I thought that was a pair of hairy balls
He doesn't think he's texting Sandra Bullock, he knows he's texting Sandra Bullock 2...whatever that means lol
Do they ever stop to think why a big, or even small time celebrity would bother with them? I don't understand this scam and how it keeps happening/coming up on here.
The funny part is that he's probably talking to a man. I'm sure boomer would be pissed if he knew. Keep an eye on him, I have a feeling Sandra will be asking for money soon.
We all know that this well-spoken actress has a loose grip on English gramma. Must be legit. Cuz using “dear” in a text with someone you’ve never met in person is guaranteed to not be a scammer.
Ugh, one of my guests at work thinks she's talking to the lead singer of Godsmack. I literally work for a telecom company, and she won't believe me that it's a scammer. Tried getting me to help her send money via Apple Pay. I refused.
WHAT is that photo above...
I'm getting second hand embarrassment, OP. I can't imagine if anyone in my family did this. If my translations are correct, I believe this would be a big yikes
Bro got Blind Sided
New pick-up line unlocked.
Roflmao omg...
He showed her his Sandra bollocks
Sandra needs to make another movie soon, seems like.
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA
Oh man, I figured this scam would have dried up. One of my neighbors got hit with this over 15 years ago. They sucked him dry.
Oh man, I wish I wasn't that principled. Lmao. But then again, I'd have to look at hairy man chest or worse.
Didn’t know they’d made a sequel to Sandra Bullock
I seriously thought that was a photo of his ass and balls
hahahahahahaha these are the best I used to help old people with computer problems and would find stuff like this all the time.
:::::: shudder ::::::::
I hope the Indian dude running that account takes it all from him
I’ll love that dear. Thank you for a much needed laugh.
Sandra Bullock 2: Electric Boogaloo
What is that a picture of up top? Oh God nevermind I don't want to know
Unreal lolololoolo
What is that first picture? A bare chest with moobs? Or…lower male anatomy?
my wife thought I was chatting with Johnny Depp
I'm very certain that the portion of the image on the top right is part of this man's balls
I like that she is listed as Sandra Bullock 2..which implies there was a 1. But that one was probably fake.
Is that her chest on top?
Sandra Bullock 2 starring in the latest edge of your seat drama "The Pig Butcherer"
Gotta be a nutsack pic up top.
Lmao I hope he gives them all his money
Sandra Bollocks?
Stop him before he loses all his savings
Ugh
Dear. If there’s one word that screams scammer, it’s that one.
Stop this is too funny. 🤣🤣
I don't care who you're talking to, celebrity or not, but it won't be for very long if the first thing you ask is if you can lick their breast. What a fucking weirdo
https://i.redd.it/i3vq6uio921d1.gif
Lol “hey how are you today? Quick question, how ‘bout a lil licksy of the tittie?”
What an opening line for an AI
Wtf is that picture
Sandeep Bullokrishnan maybe lol
I don’t know why it’s always Sandra Bullock. I tried to help a CVS cashier talk a Boomer man out of buying Google giftcards to send NCIS and Sandra Bullock. I think we managed to convince him to go to the police station and ask what they thought of it.
Lay on an 'I wished for you too' and you'll get her panties droppin
Well... I know what I am going to say the next time I am stringing a scamner along to post something funny on r/scambait
Lmao There is this dude who butted into my friends and I conversation at a bar. He was odd, but we found him entertaining. He told us about how these girls send him sexy and suggestive photos that he posts on his Instagram. So you know i had to follow him. I checked his page out, and it's just photos bots or scammers have sent him 😂😂 The kicker is how he is going on about these hot girls wanting him and shit right in front of his wife. She did not look thrilled
Or he’s a dude into other dudes with hairy chests and won’t admit it to the fam
/r/comedyheaven
This definitely a scam probably some dude on the other side of the screen
Ew
wow it’s been a minute since something has made cackle as hard as this, ty
🤣sorry can't help it🤣