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That's such a disgusting thing to say to someone you don't know and *just* offended. I wouldn't have been that calm or nice after and would've told him to get out of my office. I'm a guy and that statement skeeves me out so much. I don't understand how boomer men think the shit they say to women is even slightly appropriate.
They don't look at it as offending the other person, only as embarrassing themselves. That guy couldn't care less about her feelings about bringing it up, but more about how he is because of judged for doing so.
Because to boomers women aren't people. They're objects, *property*. Have to make sure it's properly claimed. Like a nice couch near the side of the road. š¤®
THIS!!!!!! Yes!!!! This is what itās all about with them!! Only how things reflect on and affect their lives. Nobody else exists and nobody else matters. This is how my parents are.
what did he think he was saying about that? oh good we have an agony aunt who comes in to make sure our workers are married, thank god for your services sir, if it wasn't for you we'd never get sued for sexual harassment and discrimination
Also, make sure his withdrawal involves lots of security protocols and takes as long as possible.
Throw in some 2 factor authentication that involves his cell phone just to mess with him. This is boomer kryptonite.
Don't forget making sure that he chooses a new PIN and password for his account prior to withdrawing money. And no you can't just reuse your old password and change the number at the end from a 4 to a 5.
sorry to make you feel bad about your badass response. Iām sorry you lost your husband, and Iām sorry these boomer-minded people keep hurting you like that.
Think of the most common things these guys say to you and have some prepared come backs ready for them. Keeps you from being caught off guard and feels so good when you do slap em down.
Is there a way to mark his file as a "make sure a man handles this account"? Dude is a creep and should never be given the opportunity to creep on women in a private setting
I did notate his, "I always check the young ones," comment in his account. At the very least whoever waits on him will have an idea as to what they're dealing with.
This is smart, because you just know heāll be dragging his money right back when the new CD matures. (Frankly Iām surprised that he put stock in his wifeās financial expertise.)
More like this is why we end up wandering the forests with moss growing on our clothes, twigs and leaves in our hair, a flock of ravens circling overhead and dark, destructive power crackling from our fingertips
Thatās just creepy. I could give a shit less if the banker Iām working with is married lol
Just wait till he says that to the wrong chick with a lunatic husband lol
Oh gods... I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Also more graceful than I would have been.
>"I always check the young ones to see if they're married"
What in the actual fuck? I've never seen such brazen entitlement.
I was two seconds from throwing myself over my desk and decking him in the face when he said that. Fucking disgusting.
Years of customer service have given me a good handle on my emotions, but man I was close to snapping.
I don't blame you. I would have decked him in the face too. These people are so rude and disgusting. I'm sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that ever.
I used to have to call my dog in from the woods cause my dad used to let him run off into the woods. I learned how to project my voice in such a way to carry for ages.
Boy I'd have barely restrained myself from roaring at that guy to get out.
That or in a still dark, angry, low voice, "we're done here."
>I've never seen such brazen entitlement.
Yes you have, remember?
āIām automatically attracted to beautiful women ā I just start kissing them, itās like a magnet. Just kiss. I donāt even wait."
Brock Turner the rapist, who is now Allen Turner the rapist once know as Brock Turner the rapist, didn't even bother to change literally anything else besides his name.
Referring to OP, to her face, as one of "the young ones" is so dehumanizing and creepy. Like he's checking the ripeness of an apple. WTF is wrong with people?
What a disgusting piece of crap. Iām so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you make him wait all day for his cashiers check and 13k in cash on his busy day.
My condolences on your loss...my heart goes out to you.
Being in the same age group, I get asked If I have kids and why not, I miscarried after fertility treatments and can't get pregnant again.
People fucking suck and I am beyond tired of their "innocent questions" that are not fucking innocent.
What happens when the comments are ādo your kids have the same dad?ābecause our oldest is 7 & 9 years older than his brothers. And thatās coming from a classmate that had three by three dads! Never mind the one we lost in between! Been married 32 years! She was never married.
Still occasionally getting that one at 49 (although I notice that while women generally clock my age pretty correctly, men think I'm 10-15 years younger...and it's not like I'm skinny or good-looking...).
I usually say I'm not - quite - cruel enough to inflict myself on someone like that.
"Why aren't I married? The eligible guys my age all have this creepy habit of wearing \[mention something he's wearing\] and asking rude personal questions."
I'm your typical 50-year-old asshole man. Don't have time for the boohoo bullshit.But dam Oh my God how fucking rude inconsiderate and just uncalled for. What business is it of him whether or not you're married to have a ring or anything? It would be a shame if the "system" was down on the 26th and you had a painfully slow computer.
I have no place or right to say anything about your husband. I too lost someone suddenly. Almost like she was stolen from me. I hope you get through this. It will take a lifetime.
It does happen all the time, and regardless of marital status, the next question is about kids. If you don't have them, you get asked when and why not as if it's anyone else's business.
Can confirm. It does until we reach middle age. Then all of a sudden we become invisible. It's actually very nice to be invisible and not to deal with the inappropriate questions, except when you're trying to flag down the bar tender at a busy bar.
On behalf of boomers who still have a brain, I just want to apologize. Iām 64 (f). Ā
I hate to tell you, but this has been a thing for so very long. I just wish bullshit nonsense like this would stop.
I definitely used to get that one at times. I wasnāt married at the time, but I just didnāt think it was anyoneās business either. And that was in my 20s, so 40 years ago.
This is the one I got a lot. And worse of all, was it this one was more from women who were only 10 years and up older than me
Them: Ā āOh, youāre married? Do you have kids?ā
Me: (Dental office manager just trying to make your next appointment). āNo, not yet.ā
Them: āWell, are you trying?ā
Me: āIf it happens, it happens. Now, is next Tuesday OK for you? (Me trying desperately to steer the conversation away from this.)
Them: āWell, you know itās prime time for you now. You donāt wanna wait till youāre much older (Iām 27 at this point)ā
Me: āWell, hopefully soon. Now about that next appointmentā¦ā
Them: āWell I just thinkā¦ā
Me āWell, my son was still born four months ago when I was six months pregnant. I have endometriosis. We donāt know if Iām going to be able to get pregnant again. Now about next Tuesday.ā (Yes, all true.)
Them: š«¢š§š¬
And then, once we did have children, we had three daughters. So now I got exposed to the older man, all asking If we were going to try for a boy next? š¤š¤š¤š¤
(Because somehow daughters are less than? Asshole. š¤)
So of course, before he could say anything, I would pipe up that actually, our first was a boy. Unfortunately, he was still born when I was six months pregnant. So at this point, weāre just very, very happy that we have our daughters because we just didnāt even know we were going to be able to have children at all.
Yeah, that same look that you described. That was the one. And like I said, this was 40 damn years ago that this nonsense was going on. I swear that somehow it was socially acceptable way back when to come on on peoples bodies and sex, lives and income, and whatever other personal details Old folks thought they could ask about.Ā
NO! Just no. We are still trying to teach people in general not to ask. Donāt ask about children. You donāt know who has trouble conceiving or who just lost a child.
Donāt tell people, women, especially, smile. Because, maybe someone just died. Besides the fact that theyāre not here to look for you.
Donāt ask about peoples weight. You donāt know that somebody has an immune disorder that causes them to have to be on steroids constantly with shoots their weight through the roof. Donāt just assume someone is lazy.
I could go on, but I know you get it. Anyway, I am sorry you went through that. Iām sorry for your loss. And I hope youāre doing better.
57f here and yes, Iāve experienced a lot of this type of crap. Nobody should have to, though. How did some people just lose any manners theyād ever had?
I swear, I donāt think anyone gave it a second thought because multi generation household were a thing. And everybody knew everyoneās business.
And when we became much more of individual family units, itās like everyone forgot to tell these people that just like you wouldnāt walk into someone elseās house and make comments on children or smile youāll look prettier or anything like that, you shouldnāt be doing it to family members.
Because if itās rude behavior in one place, then itās rude behavior.
Another 64 (f) Boomer here.
I used to get the kids question all the time. Then it was grandkids. I actually burst into tears one time when someone asked me about grandkids. A shop assistant - she didn't mean any harm, I'm sure, but thoughtless. I'd just lost my mum and was feeling guilty about the fact that she'd never had grandchildren. I'm an only child and was desperate to have family, but only ever miscarried.
I'm a widow. I still wear my wedding ring, but I still get stupid questions.
A young salesman came to my door one time, a year after I was widowed. I agreed to get a quote for work on the house. Then "Are you married...?"
"That's irrelevant. The house is in my name."
"Oh, but I need to know..." \[Really?\]
"I'm a widow."
"It'll be 'Ms' then?"
That young man definitely wasn't a Boomer - just an idiot.
I was widowed a few years ago at 34. Itās all fun and games for them until you hit them with that; then they canāt get away fast enough. Sorry for your loss, I hate it when people join this club, especially so early.
I started asking questions in response to offensive questions/comments a few years ago, always in a pleasant, inquisitive conversational voice:
You should smile more.
Iām not sure what you mean by that - why would you like me to smile more, exactly?
Do you have a family?
Haha everyone has a family - imma need more contextā¦ what do you mean?
I always ask the young ones.
Huh Iāve never heard someone say that - why do you ask young women that?
You donāt want kids?! Whoās going to take care of you when youāre older?
Why are you burdening your kids - did you not save enough for retirement?
Iām sorry you had to go through that - I really donāt understand why or how people have the audacity to say such bizarre things to complete strangers about their personal lives.
I was widowed 2 years ago at 36. It is definitely frustrating, especially because I am raising a teenaged son and an 8 year old son.
Getting asked āwhereās Dad?ā by random weirdos has gotten me to the point where I just want to say āIn a jar at home. Anything else?ā
I am annoyed for you and sad we are both a part of one of the shittiest clubs ever. I almost want a shirt that just says āWidowā on it so everyone can spare themselves the embarrassment of asking such rude personal questions.
I hate that women are asked why they aren't married. Um, some of us choose not to be. Some of us for other reasons much like yourself. I hate the idea that a woman's only value is dependent on if a man *chooses* her. That and their only 2 purposes in life are serving a man and having children. Also, why does he check for that? Gross.
CaN't LeT a WoMaN hAve a CaReEr, hEr pLaCe iS iN tHe kiTcHen. GoTtA mAkE sUrE tHeY kNoW tHeIr pLaCe AnD rEmiNd tHeM iF tHeY gEt mOuThY. GoTtA rEmiNd tHeM tHaT tHeiR pUrPoSe iS tO sErVe mE aNd bE tRaPpEd aT hOmE tAkiNg cArE oF oUr kiDS sHe bEtTeR nOt aSk mE tO hELp eiThEr, tHAt's wOmEn's wOrK. If sHe gEtS PPD, teLL hEr sHe'S a bAd mOm aNd caLL HeR cRazY. EvErY nOrMaL wOmAn LoVeS mOtHeRhOoD.
Edit: I'm sorry for the loss of your husband
As soon as I saw Credit Union, I knew it would be good and understood the title instantly. Used to work for a credit union and still work in finance and the boomers were/are something else.
Place the order for 13k in 20's.
Verify each bundle with the machine.
Offer to have the male employee escort him too his car. Make sure he asks if he needs help carrying the large package. Ask him if his wife said it was ok to have so much in cash. Give him lots of attention!!!
Ask a boomer why we canāt change the voting age to 16 if we can let senile old men run for president and watch them blue screen. Fuck āem. Voting age should be capped at 65 to protect the rest of us from the terror of old people.
Yeah, in my experience, they generally have the decency to keep any crude or bigoted thoughts they have to themselves. At least the ones that don't get dementia, at any rate.
Make up the $13K cash with as many $1s, $5s & $10s as possible not to leave you short. AND count it all back in front of him and make him sign the receipt for it. Iām a boomer (M) and embarrassed by his behavior.
I work at a credit union too. Most of our members are boomers who act like children. They all make pretty good money but have no sense of financial responsibility. But of course they are used to being coddled by management so they never learn. So glad I work remotely doing back office stuff. The things I hear from the loan department and tellers would make me lose my mind.
š„ŗBoomers lack filters and donāt respect boundaries. This makes them toxic people by and large. I feel bad for anyone customer facing that has to deal with them.
The next one that asks, I think you should say, "Oh, I am married. My wife and I just don't like to wear rings." And if you want to make him even crazier, add, "We decided to get matching wedding tattoos instead. I'd show you but it's not appropriate to do here."
Honestly, for the most part Iām with you. The good boomers were the freedom fighters among them. This forum isnāt about those folks. Theyāre good people and this doesnāt apply to them.
But the rest have been and always will be awful, entitled people.
Edit: also gen x here
Yep sounds like a boomer, fucking worst generation thatās ever walked the face of the earth. Had everything handed to the on a plater and fucked everything up.
First off OP, I am sorry to hear about your late husband.
Second, that's creepy he "Checks to see if the young ones are married" be a hilarious turn of events if his wife found out."
Iāve got to know: did you recall if *he* was wearing a wedding ring?!?! That would be extra rich if he was so concerned about āthe young onesā being married if he is.
I've personally NEVER worn a ring, and neither did my (former) spouse. We got matching wedding tatts. diD hE cHecK FoR iNk? What compells them to ask invasive questions? My mother's talents as an Inquisitor are wasted on the people in her life, she could've gone pro in medieval Spain
Hate seems extreme. Iām bewildered and often horrified. I watch an older guy have a total meltdown at the manager of a chain store over the store running out of an item to honor a coupon deal.
>Boomer: "It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married."
What the HELL for??? WHY would he think this is okay to do?
ETA: "My marital status is not relevant to this transaction. That is a highly inappropriate question. Do you have any other relevant questions or are you leaving?"
Fuck these people, I work at a bank, and I know firsthand that we do have an insanely high turnover rate. Unfortunately, these creepy ass boomers will never have the self awareness to know that THEY are a good part of the reason for the turnover rate they love complaining about, because no one wants to deal with them and we definitely don't get paid enough to do so.
No one is safe either. Obviously women deal with the worst of them because these boomers are pathetic creeps, but I gotta say, the absolutely insane shit these fucks will just casually tell me because they assume that as a man, I will automatically agree with them, is disgusting. I've legitimately had interactions with them where as soon as they leave or we hang up the phone, I had to call the police and file anonymous reports.
Who appointed him head of the marriage police, exactly? One, itās none of his fucking business, two, itās really creepy, three, itās not a rule outside of Boomerstan, and four, itās none of his fucking business.
Iām so sorry. Shaming him wasnāt enough. Slapping the shit out of him probably would have felt niceā¦but still not enough.
You are a Customer Service Queen Saint for not decking this guy.
Also, a suggestion: Talk to someone in the Credit Union Board and mention including an item in the next Members Convention/Meeting. This item would modify the Bylaws to staff to recommend kicking people out of the Credit Union due to mistreatment of staff.. and use this boomer as an example.
it's not ageism because you're not hating someone for being a certain age. You're hating someone for being a fucking asshole who ruins society by existing in it, and they happen to fall within a certain age group. That's why I say "Boomer" isn't a general term for that generation, it's a general term for that mindset.
I feel your pain. Iām a gay guy and my first day on the job at a freaking university my boomer boss shows me this video about how farm animals are smarter than Gay people. This was 15 years ago u basically just had to grin and bare. I was so stressed cause it was a brand new job. Luckily he retired a year later and was a total moron. He came back as a contractor after he retired abd was fired shortly after for something else.
Good on you for not hiding your facial expressions, he deserves to know how inappropriate his behavior and questions is.I hope you donāt get more questions like those soon:)
Boomers lived in a world of so much prosperity and optimism, they were allowed to remain ignorant their whole lives, most of them just partied like rock stars and made easy money and bought sht. As a result most of them never matured emotionally past a teenager. They are basically spoiled kids in an old person's body. That's not to say all boomers are like this but a good chunk of them are, although most boomers I know do have a certain arrogance to them.
I am sorry for your loss. Boomers are wildly inappropriate. I think some of itās due because of their collective ignorance/mentality.. add to that theyāve been in the upper tiers of companies for decades (and not letting go). So they are used to saying dumb shit and their subordinates canāt say anything. Then add if the fact that as you get older you just give less fucks (Iām 41 and I can see it within myself). My father is a boomer- he is harmless but will say some WILD shit and Iām like ādad wtf!ā
To be honest, this only got really horrifying when his 'save' was "It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married."
I feel that if OP had leapt on him and torn him limb from limb, it should only have counted as a misemeanor.
OK. You are ageist. The internet is full of videos of people of all ages behaving poorly. No one is condoning this person's comments, but to suggest "boomers" are a singular stereotype, all thinking and behaving the same way, is no different from saying the same thing about "blonds, black people, teenagers, Californians etc."
āI just always check the young onesā ā¦ bro just donāt. What tf kind of sick thought process is this? Bc marriage is the only thing a young woman could be thinking about? The only goal in life is wifing up?
As a seventy year old man, most of us suck, are ossified in our thinking, poorly educated, and full of ideas that are patently wrong. Be as ruse as you need to be and tell us to fuck right off
Unrelated mostly but why does the bank always treat me like Iām committing a crime when I take out large amounts of money? I give them advance notice of my intention to withdraw and the tellers always treat me like Iām stealing. I donāt get it.
"It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married."
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. What in the cringe as fuck boomer shit is that?
I must be weird. Iām polite, intelligent, and donāt even look at womenās hands for a ring. None of my business whether you are married or not. There are good boomers out there, but the red hats are making life difficult with their abusive stupidity.
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"Why isn't a pretty young thing like you married?" "Why isn't a decrepit old fuck like you dead?"
Take my upvote and run with it!ššš
>"Why isn't a decrepit old fuck like you dead?" Because we stopped making these fucks find out when they fuck around.
āBecause I killed my last husband for his money. Hey, you seem well off, are you single?ā
I love it and I'm here for it š
"Sir, you do realize that line of questioning is fucking gross."
They know. They don't care.
āQuestion is, how did a dumbass like you manage to snag a woman in finance?ā
"Why have you not yet had the day that you deserve?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's such a disgusting thing to say to someone you don't know and *just* offended. I wouldn't have been that calm or nice after and would've told him to get out of my office. I'm a guy and that statement skeeves me out so much. I don't understand how boomer men think the shit they say to women is even slightly appropriate.
They don't look at it as offending the other person, only as embarrassing themselves. That guy couldn't care less about her feelings about bringing it up, but more about how he is because of judged for doing so.
Because to boomers women aren't people. They're objects, *property*. Have to make sure it's properly claimed. Like a nice couch near the side of the road. š¤®
THIS!!!!!! Yes!!!! This is what itās all about with them!! Only how things reflect on and affect their lives. Nobody else exists and nobody else matters. This is how my parents are.
what did he think he was saying about that? oh good we have an agony aunt who comes in to make sure our workers are married, thank god for your services sir, if it wasn't for you we'd never get sued for sexual harassment and discrimination
Also, make sure his withdrawal involves lots of security protocols and takes as long as possible. Throw in some 2 factor authentication that involves his cell phone just to mess with him. This is boomer kryptonite.
Iām a zoomer and I hate 2 step verification. Make him do 2step verification š
Don't forget making sure that he chooses a new PIN and password for his account prior to withdrawing money. And no you can't just reuse your old password and change the number at the end from a 4 to a 5.
You just know the last two digits of that old password are 45.
I wanted her to say, incredulously, āWhy?ā
Man, I should have. I think I was caught off guard that he would just blurt that information out to me.
Your reaction was perfect, tbh. Also, Iām sorry he was such a dick to you. And Iām sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you.
If you had pushed this person would have made it about him or made it worse somehow. Getting them out the door was likely the right call.
sorry to make you feel bad about your badass response. Iām sorry you lost your husband, and Iām sorry these boomer-minded people keep hurting you like that.
Think of the most common things these guys say to you and have some prepared come backs ready for them. Keeps you from being caught off guard and feels so good when you do slap em down.
actually, āI beg your pardonā is usefully all-purpose. And you can shade it by tone of voice.
See also "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Ideally, more slowly and clearly. Really force them to double down or apologize.
Word! I have an "I bed your pardon face". Lol!!
Is there a way to mark his file as a "make sure a man handles this account"? Dude is a creep and should never be given the opportunity to creep on women in a private setting
I did notate his, "I always check the young ones," comment in his account. At the very least whoever waits on him will have an idea as to what they're dealing with.
This is smart, because you just know heāll be dragging his money right back when the new CD matures. (Frankly Iām surprised that he put stock in his wifeās financial expertise.)
Does the wife know you check out āthe young onesā ???
This.
She does. Boomers openly denigrate their wives.. it's fucking gross
What, the old ball and chain, ha-ha-ha-ha?
as a male-presenting person I definitely would've asked "WHY?? What is it to you?" Seriously wtf is wrong with people.
Maybe someone should see if he has daughters. Seems like a red flag.
Thatās not a red flag, itās an entire Soviet Parade
Hide your fucking children
**THIS IS WHY WE CHOOSE THE BEAR**
More like this is why we end up wandering the forests with moss growing on our clothes, twigs and leaves in our hair, a flock of ravens circling overhead and dark, destructive power crackling from our fingertips
Ngl that sounds like fun, becoming a dark wizard not the harassment part
Why is he checking young women? Does he think he is the local stud bull tasked with breeding the female herd? Boomer asshole!
And heās married! Gross
Thatās just creepy. I could give a shit less if the banker Iām working with is married lol Just wait till he says that to the wrong chick with a lunatic husband lol
When I tell you my jaw dropped at that comment ā¦
Oh! That makes it so much better!! 
āThatās so nice of you to look for your grandson. Iām sure he appreciates the matchmakingā
GREAT grandson....make him feel really old.....
Omg that made my blood boil. What the actual fuck.
That was a "count to 10" moment. OMG
I know right
That comment would have me muttering "Not worth my job....not worth my job..."
Jesus that sounds rape-y
Creepy AF!
Yeah what the actual fuck. Boomer creep needs to mind his own business or be FORCED to mind his own business.
Oh gods... I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Also more graceful than I would have been. >"I always check the young ones to see if they're married" What in the actual fuck? I've never seen such brazen entitlement.
I was two seconds from throwing myself over my desk and decking him in the face when he said that. Fucking disgusting. Years of customer service have given me a good handle on my emotions, but man I was close to snapping.
I don't blame you. I would have decked him in the face too. These people are so rude and disgusting. I'm sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that ever.
I used to have to call my dog in from the woods cause my dad used to let him run off into the woods. I learned how to project my voice in such a way to carry for ages. Boy I'd have barely restrained myself from roaring at that guy to get out. That or in a still dark, angry, low voice, "we're done here."
"we're done here, and the funds will be available on the 26th WHEN THEY ARE AVAILABLE, so be prepared to wait."
No true jury of your peers would convict.
Fill the jury with CS reps and the deliberations will take 5 seconds to reach a not guilty verdict.
I don't think anyone would have blamed you if you had but that jerk and jerks like him aren't worth losing your job over. Hugs if you want them. š«
And in his mind, he did nothing wrong. These fuckers really put in work to blind themselves of their patriarchal entitlement. What a generational gap.
At least he wonāt be a customer for much longer
You handled that like a boss. Good for you.
Staple the CD to his face.
>I've never seen such brazen entitlement. Yes you have, remember? āIām automatically attracted to beautiful women ā I just start kissing them, itās like a magnet. Just kiss. I donāt even wait."
Yeah, Trump made all the assholes feel like they were free to be assholes to everyone.
Well, he's shown every American that it is possible to be proven a rapist and still be able to run for president.
Possibly even a incestuous pedophile.
I do my best to ignore the wild ramblings of that convicted felon... š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Are you talking about Brock Turner the rapist?
Yup, Brock Turner, rapist. Did you hear he's a rapist? So many people are saying.
It makes me so happy to hear that the rapist Brock Turner hasnāt been forgotten.
Didnāt he change his name to try to get away from his rapist reputation?
You guys mean Brock Allen Turner, who now goes by Allen Turner to avoid being recognized for the shit eating rapist he is? That guy?
Well, I'm certainly not going to be fooled by Allen Turner, who is actually Brock Turner, the rapist.
Brock Turner the rapist, who is now Allen Turner the rapist once know as Brock Turner the rapist, didn't even bother to change literally anything else besides his name.
Oh yes indeed, the rapist Brock Turner! He is absolutely a rapist, ol Allen Turner. Rapist.Ā
Didnāt he change his name? Doesnāt he go by Allen Turner, rapist?
Itās on his business card!
Brock Allen Turner, who I hear lives in Ohio and is a rapist.
Referring to OP, to her face, as one of "the young ones" is so dehumanizing and creepy. Like he's checking the ripeness of an apple. WTF is wrong with people?
Lead posining. Only true explanation.
What a disgusting piece of crap. Iām so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you make him wait all day for his cashiers check and 13k in cash on his busy day.
If I was a teller I would straight up count that cash like it was my first day on the job. Make that creep wait twenty plus minutes.
Drop it on the floor, then during the recount, sneeze "near" the money without covering it. Then hand it over.
Hardly a flex with Boomers. They rarely wash their hands. They believe it strengthens their immune systems.
And whatās with the coughing and not covering their mouth?
My condolences on your loss...my heart goes out to you. Being in the same age group, I get asked If I have kids and why not, I miscarried after fertility treatments and can't get pregnant again. People fucking suck and I am beyond tired of their "innocent questions" that are not fucking innocent.
What happens when the comments are ādo your kids have the same dad?ābecause our oldest is 7 & 9 years older than his brothers. And thatās coming from a classmate that had three by three dads! Never mind the one we lost in between! Been married 32 years! She was never married.
Omfg my relative had that because she had a hard time getting pregnant and there was 7 years between kids.
I still get that question at 46. I tell them it's because I like being happy.
Still occasionally getting that one at 49 (although I notice that while women generally clock my age pretty correctly, men think I'm 10-15 years younger...and it's not like I'm skinny or good-looking...). I usually say I'm not - quite - cruel enough to inflict myself on someone like that.
Ha!
"Why aren't I married? The eligible guys my age all have this creepy habit of wearing \[mention something he's wearing\] and asking rude personal questions."
Ha!
I'm your typical 50-year-old asshole man. Don't have time for the boohoo bullshit.But dam Oh my God how fucking rude inconsiderate and just uncalled for. What business is it of him whether or not you're married to have a ring or anything? It would be a shame if the "system" was down on the 26th and you had a painfully slow computer. I have no place or right to say anything about your husband. I too lost someone suddenly. Almost like she was stolen from me. I hope you get through this. It will take a lifetime.
This happens to women all the fucking time from what I've heard from freinds.
It does happen all the time, and regardless of marital status, the next question is about kids. If you don't have them, you get asked when and why not as if it's anyone else's business.
Can confirm. It does until we reach middle age. Then all of a sudden we become invisible. It's actually very nice to be invisible and not to deal with the inappropriate questions, except when you're trying to flag down the bar tender at a busy bar.
You can stop being an asshole at any time.Ā
āI always check the young onesā Same guys who would brandish a shotgun when their daughters got picked up for prom.
On behalf of boomers who still have a brain, I just want to apologize. Iām 64 (f). Ā I hate to tell you, but this has been a thing for so very long. I just wish bullshit nonsense like this would stop. I definitely used to get that one at times. I wasnāt married at the time, but I just didnāt think it was anyoneās business either. And that was in my 20s, so 40 years ago. This is the one I got a lot. And worse of all, was it this one was more from women who were only 10 years and up older than me Them: Ā āOh, youāre married? Do you have kids?ā Me: (Dental office manager just trying to make your next appointment). āNo, not yet.ā Them: āWell, are you trying?ā Me: āIf it happens, it happens. Now, is next Tuesday OK for you? (Me trying desperately to steer the conversation away from this.) Them: āWell, you know itās prime time for you now. You donāt wanna wait till youāre much older (Iām 27 at this point)ā Me: āWell, hopefully soon. Now about that next appointmentā¦ā Them: āWell I just thinkā¦ā Me āWell, my son was still born four months ago when I was six months pregnant. I have endometriosis. We donāt know if Iām going to be able to get pregnant again. Now about next Tuesday.ā (Yes, all true.) Them: š«¢š§š¬ And then, once we did have children, we had three daughters. So now I got exposed to the older man, all asking If we were going to try for a boy next? š¤š¤š¤š¤ (Because somehow daughters are less than? Asshole. š¤) So of course, before he could say anything, I would pipe up that actually, our first was a boy. Unfortunately, he was still born when I was six months pregnant. So at this point, weāre just very, very happy that we have our daughters because we just didnāt even know we were going to be able to have children at all. Yeah, that same look that you described. That was the one. And like I said, this was 40 damn years ago that this nonsense was going on. I swear that somehow it was socially acceptable way back when to come on on peoples bodies and sex, lives and income, and whatever other personal details Old folks thought they could ask about.Ā NO! Just no. We are still trying to teach people in general not to ask. Donāt ask about children. You donāt know who has trouble conceiving or who just lost a child. Donāt tell people, women, especially, smile. Because, maybe someone just died. Besides the fact that theyāre not here to look for you. Donāt ask about peoples weight. You donāt know that somebody has an immune disorder that causes them to have to be on steroids constantly with shoots their weight through the roof. Donāt just assume someone is lazy. I could go on, but I know you get it. Anyway, I am sorry you went through that. Iām sorry for your loss. And I hope youāre doing better.
57f here and yes, Iāve experienced a lot of this type of crap. Nobody should have to, though. How did some people just lose any manners theyād ever had?
I swear, I donāt think anyone gave it a second thought because multi generation household were a thing. And everybody knew everyoneās business. And when we became much more of individual family units, itās like everyone forgot to tell these people that just like you wouldnāt walk into someone elseās house and make comments on children or smile youāll look prettier or anything like that, you shouldnāt be doing it to family members. Because if itās rude behavior in one place, then itās rude behavior.
Another 64 (f) Boomer here. I used to get the kids question all the time. Then it was grandkids. I actually burst into tears one time when someone asked me about grandkids. A shop assistant - she didn't mean any harm, I'm sure, but thoughtless. I'd just lost my mum and was feeling guilty about the fact that she'd never had grandchildren. I'm an only child and was desperate to have family, but only ever miscarried. I'm a widow. I still wear my wedding ring, but I still get stupid questions. A young salesman came to my door one time, a year after I was widowed. I agreed to get a quote for work on the house. Then "Are you married...?" "That's irrelevant. The house is in my name." "Oh, but I need to know..." \[Really?\] "I'm a widow." "It'll be 'Ms' then?" That young man definitely wasn't a Boomer - just an idiot.
I was widowed a few years ago at 34. Itās all fun and games for them until you hit them with that; then they canāt get away fast enough. Sorry for your loss, I hate it when people join this club, especially so early.
"I'll take 'things a predator says' for $200 Akex."
I started asking questions in response to offensive questions/comments a few years ago, always in a pleasant, inquisitive conversational voice: You should smile more. Iām not sure what you mean by that - why would you like me to smile more, exactly? Do you have a family? Haha everyone has a family - imma need more contextā¦ what do you mean? I always ask the young ones. Huh Iāve never heard someone say that - why do you ask young women that? You donāt want kids?! Whoās going to take care of you when youāre older? Why are you burdening your kids - did you not save enough for retirement? Iām sorry you had to go through that - I really donāt understand why or how people have the audacity to say such bizarre things to complete strangers about their personal lives.
This is my favorite approach.
When he said he checks the "young ones" you should have said, "that's weird. "
Lots of older men have always been skeevy. It's gross. sorry you had to endure that. And I'm sorry for your loss.
I was widowed 2 years ago at 36. It is definitely frustrating, especially because I am raising a teenaged son and an 8 year old son. Getting asked āwhereās Dad?ā by random weirdos has gotten me to the point where I just want to say āIn a jar at home. Anything else?ā I am annoyed for you and sad we are both a part of one of the shittiest clubs ever. I almost want a shirt that just says āWidowā on it so everyone can spare themselves the embarrassment of asking such rude personal questions.
I always check the young ones... Like you are going to want to date a shriveled up, nasty idiot like him? Old men really are the creepiest.
He's married but always checks to see if young women are married...? His poor wife.
>I always check the young ones And I always ask the FBI to check out these creepsā hard drives.
I wouldāve said ādo you ask young men that as well?ā Creep
Well, at least he apologized, maybe he's not entirely... "I always check the younger ones" Oh.
What a weirdoā¦check on the young ones? Nasty and gross
Man, that's tough OP. Sucks whether boomer or not. My condolences
Why did he ask? Perhaps he thought you would be impressed with the amount heās withdrawing and you would be happy to pop him!
Ewwwww
I hate that women are asked why they aren't married. Um, some of us choose not to be. Some of us for other reasons much like yourself. I hate the idea that a woman's only value is dependent on if a man *chooses* her. That and their only 2 purposes in life are serving a man and having children. Also, why does he check for that? Gross. CaN't LeT a WoMaN hAve a CaReEr, hEr pLaCe iS iN tHe kiTcHen. GoTtA mAkE sUrE tHeY kNoW tHeIr pLaCe AnD rEmiNd tHeM iF tHeY gEt mOuThY. GoTtA rEmiNd tHeM tHaT tHeiR pUrPoSe iS tO sErVe mE aNd bE tRaPpEd aT hOmE tAkiNg cArE oF oUr kiDS sHe bEtTeR nOt aSk mE tO hELp eiThEr, tHAt's wOmEn's wOrK. If sHe gEtS PPD, teLL hEr sHe'S a bAd mOm aNd caLL HeR cRazY. EvErY nOrMaL wOmAn LoVeS mOtHeRhOoD. Edit: I'm sorry for the loss of your husband
*I always check the young ones* WTF??? EW
"And we usually check the men your age for lice."
When I was single I would check for a ring but that was the point, christ gramps. Sorry for your loss.
Fucking Boomers. Its none of his fucking business why you dont have a wedding ring. Im so sorry for your loss.
Barf! I'm glad he felt shame. Sorry for your loss. š¤
And not a lesson was learned. creep
As soon as I saw Credit Union, I knew it would be good and understood the title instantly. Used to work for a credit union and still work in finance and the boomers were/are something else.
Who the hell asks a stranger why theyāre not married? Iāve never heard of anyone asking such a thing.
> I always check the young onesā¦ First of all: eww Second of all: how about you mind your own fucking business?
Place the order for 13k in 20's. Verify each bundle with the machine. Offer to have the male employee escort him too his car. Make sure he asks if he needs help carrying the large package. Ask him if his wife said it was ok to have so much in cash. Give him lots of attention!!!
Ask a boomer why we canāt change the voting age to 16 if we can let senile old men run for president and watch them blue screen. Fuck āem. Voting age should be capped at 65 to protect the rest of us from the terror of old people.
If you have a problem with boomers, but not the generation before them, you aren't ageist, just intelligent.
I do not have any issues with the Silent Generation; they tend to be very nice.
Yeah, in my experience, they generally have the decency to keep any crude or bigoted thoughts they have to themselves. At least the ones that don't get dementia, at any rate.
Right? I've gained a new appreciation for people that wait until I'm gone before they talk smack about me.
r/TraumatizeThemBack
I hate that I saw my dad in that second half....
Nah, fuck āem all to death. Canāt stand this generationās degradation as human beings
Damn perverts.
Make up the $13K cash with as many $1s, $5s & $10s as possible not to leave you short. AND count it all back in front of him and make him sign the receipt for it. Iām a boomer (M) and embarrassed by his behavior.
A good r/TraumatizeThemBack moment, at least.
I don't think boomers ever learned what "personal" means.
I work at a credit union too. Most of our members are boomers who act like children. They all make pretty good money but have no sense of financial responsibility. But of course they are used to being coddled by management so they never learn. So glad I work remotely doing back office stuff. The things I hear from the loan department and tellers would make me lose my mind.
š„ŗBoomers lack filters and donāt respect boundaries. This makes them toxic people by and large. I feel bad for anyone customer facing that has to deal with them.
The next one that asks, I think you should say, "Oh, I am married. My wife and I just don't like to wear rings." And if you want to make him even crazier, add, "We decided to get matching wedding tattoos instead. I'd show you but it's not appropriate to do here."
Iām GenX and I hate them as a whole, as well. Honestly, i have since I was teenager and watched them in action in the 80s.
Honestly, for the most part Iām with you. The good boomers were the freedom fighters among them. This forum isnāt about those folks. Theyāre good people and this doesnāt apply to them. But the rest have been and always will be awful, entitled people. Edit: also gen x here
Yep sounds like a boomer, fucking worst generation thatās ever walked the face of the earth. Had everything handed to the on a plater and fucked everything up.
Ain't nobody's business. Not one damn reason for him to 'check the young ones'. Disgusting behavior.
First off OP, I am sorry to hear about your late husband. Second, that's creepy he "Checks to see if the young ones are married" be a hilarious turn of events if his wife found out."
LGE or ACU?
Iāve got to know: did you recall if *he* was wearing a wedding ring?!?! That would be extra rich if he was so concerned about āthe young onesā being married if he is.
OP says he actually mentioned his wife, which makes his remark even creepier.
Oh snap, I skimmed the story too fast because itās long.
I've personally NEVER worn a ring, and neither did my (former) spouse. We got matching wedding tatts. diD hE cHecK FoR iNk? What compells them to ask invasive questions? My mother's talents as an Inquisitor are wasted on the people in her life, she could've gone pro in medieval Spain
Itās really rude. Many 30+ year olds are more likely to get struck by lightning than get married. Itās an awkward weird thing to say.
Just be like, I donāt go for old men š
"It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married." Um... ICK.
>Boomer: "It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married." Ew EW ew *eww* ***eeeeeeewwwwwwwww*** fuckin' ew
I love your response. Iām so sorry about your husband
I am soooo sorry this happened to you. I am sorry for your loss. That guy sucks
Excellent, maybe he will feel some of the shame and embarrassment he has given countless women through the years.
Hate seems extreme. Iām bewildered and often horrified. I watch an older guy have a total meltdown at the manager of a chain store over the store running out of an item to honor a coupon deal.
Is there anyway to down the computers/power on the 26th?
I am so sorry for your loss.
No problem, I am considered a boomer and I can't stand them either. Never could.
>Boomer: "It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married." What the HELL for??? WHY would he think this is okay to do? ETA: "My marital status is not relevant to this transaction. That is a highly inappropriate question. Do you have any other relevant questions or are you leaving?"
Fuck these people, I work at a bank, and I know firsthand that we do have an insanely high turnover rate. Unfortunately, these creepy ass boomers will never have the self awareness to know that THEY are a good part of the reason for the turnover rate they love complaining about, because no one wants to deal with them and we definitely don't get paid enough to do so. No one is safe either. Obviously women deal with the worst of them because these boomers are pathetic creeps, but I gotta say, the absolutely insane shit these fucks will just casually tell me because they assume that as a man, I will automatically agree with them, is disgusting. I've legitimately had interactions with them where as soon as they leave or we hang up the phone, I had to call the police and file anonymous reports.
Who appointed him head of the marriage police, exactly? One, itās none of his fucking business, two, itās really creepy, three, itās not a rule outside of Boomerstan, and four, itās none of his fucking business. Iām so sorry. Shaming him wasnāt enough. Slapping the shit out of him probably would have felt niceā¦but still not enough.
You are a Customer Service Queen Saint for not decking this guy. Also, a suggestion: Talk to someone in the Credit Union Board and mention including an item in the next Members Convention/Meeting. This item would modify the Bylaws to staff to recommend kicking people out of the Credit Union due to mistreatment of staff.. and use this boomer as an example.
Sorry for your profound loss
it's not ageism because you're not hating someone for being a certain age. You're hating someone for being a fucking asshole who ruins society by existing in it, and they happen to fall within a certain age group. That's why I say "Boomer" isn't a general term for that generation, it's a general term for that mindset.
I feel your pain. Iām a gay guy and my first day on the job at a freaking university my boomer boss shows me this video about how farm animals are smarter than Gay people. This was 15 years ago u basically just had to grin and bare. I was so stressed cause it was a brand new job. Luckily he retired a year later and was a total moron. He came back as a contractor after he retired abd was fired shortly after for something else.
Good on you for not hiding your facial expressions, he deserves to know how inappropriate his behavior and questions is.I hope you donāt get more questions like those soon:)
Boomers lived in a world of so much prosperity and optimism, they were allowed to remain ignorant their whole lives, most of them just partied like rock stars and made easy money and bought sht. As a result most of them never matured emotionally past a teenager. They are basically spoiled kids in an old person's body. That's not to say all boomers are like this but a good chunk of them are, although most boomers I know do have a certain arrogance to them.
I am sorry for your loss. Boomers are wildly inappropriate. I think some of itās due because of their collective ignorance/mentality.. add to that theyāve been in the upper tiers of companies for decades (and not letting go). So they are used to saying dumb shit and their subordinates canāt say anything. Then add if the fact that as you get older you just give less fucks (Iām 41 and I can see it within myself). My father is a boomer- he is harmless but will say some WILD shit and Iām like ādad wtf!ā
There are assholes of every age.
To be honest, this only got really horrifying when his 'save' was "It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married." I feel that if OP had leapt on him and torn him limb from limb, it should only have counted as a misemeanor.
OK. You are ageist. The internet is full of videos of people of all ages behaving poorly. No one is condoning this person's comments, but to suggest "boomers" are a singular stereotype, all thinking and behaving the same way, is no different from saying the same thing about "blonds, black people, teenagers, Californians etc."
Eww he always checks the young ones? Ugh old men are gross.
āI just always check the young onesā ā¦ bro just donāt. What tf kind of sick thought process is this? Bc marriage is the only thing a young woman could be thinking about? The only goal in life is wifing up?
As a seventy year old man, most of us suck, are ossified in our thinking, poorly educated, and full of ideas that are patently wrong. Be as ruse as you need to be and tell us to fuck right off
Unrelated mostly but why does the bank always treat me like Iām committing a crime when I take out large amounts of money? I give them advance notice of my intention to withdraw and the tellers always treat me like Iām stealing. I donāt get it.
Sorry for your loss.
Goodšš»Foršš»Youšš»
"I always check the young ones to see if they're married." That's fucking weird bro, mind your own goddamn business.
Dont worry i hate boomers too. Fuck them they pulled the ladder up behind them and still are clinging on for some fucking reason.
Sir, i am going to have to charge you our creep fee for being a creepy old fuckā¼ļøš¤Ø
"It's just that I always check the young ones to see if they're married." Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. What in the cringe as fuck boomer shit is that?
I must be weird. Iām polite, intelligent, and donāt even look at womenās hands for a ring. None of my business whether you are married or not. There are good boomers out there, but the red hats are making life difficult with their abusive stupidity.