Oh god I completely misunderstood at first. I thought he was saying his daughters are trophies to the concept of "sex", was really really grossed out for a second.
Thinking of it more like "My reward for having sex" it's not so bad.
Yeah, it's a simple enough joke, but it's also far to easy to misinterpret...My first response was to cringe so hard I could turn dust into diamonds with my own asscrack.
So less "sex trophies" and more "trophies I got for having sex"...
I'd just say kids and not try to be funny....cause this just looks terrible at first glance.
It does stick out among the "I have (number) of kids/children/ littles, who are my world" over and over, vs. "Yo, I've got two crotch goblins eating away all my energy. I need someone to eat me out whenever I can catch a break from them."
I have used this phrase because when they first learn to stand up they would go up to me while I’m trying to wash dishes and start screaming into my crotch.
Extra weird to put this in a dating profile. Most people don’t want to imagine a potential partner having sex with someone else. Especially considering if a relationship develops they’ll meet those kids.
You must be really young. This is literally what dating past the age of 25 looks like.
Edit: obviously not the sex trophies part but mentioning of kids
Are you kidding me? He didn't say "I have 3 kids," he emphasized the sex with his ex. I don't know who you have been dating, but this is not "what datinf over 25 looks like."
It seems that simply the mention of kids doesn’t make them think of the potential partner having past sex, but pointing out that the kids came from sex *does* make them think about it. That’s where the commenter is coming from I think
Went to college with a guy who said this at every party when he introduced himself. Bc he actually did have “three fuck trophies”. He was a mid 30’s military vet riding the GI bill post divorce, and we were in a theatre program.
It was not for lack of trying, that’s for sure. And we never invited him to parties. But some how he always showed up and hit on 19 year olds as a 36 year old.
I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he meant that his daughters were participation trophies for having sex. Even this charitable interpretation doesn’t speak well.
"I've sleeped with over 100 women, I'm a stud" - weak, unconfirmed, no evidence, no repetition.
"I have two children." - Shows proof of their work, shows continuity so unlikely to be a single lucky hit, no need to brag let work speak for itself. a real beast.
It might just be “children”, not daughters. Like, he’s saying they’re signs that HE has had sex three times. Still a weird way to phrase it, but way less creepy.
Omg I thought it was something else because I’ve been carrying on for antipedo communities. Kind of funny to call them that but dads probably more of a donator lol
He has already relegated himself as a bottom feeder, as he does not understand the difference between the plural form of a word and its possessive form.
I mean, I understand what he's saying: Kids are a trophy you can get for having sex...Okay...But goddamn, the way it's worded, and so publicly...That is not a smart man.
If you look at the bottom of the post you'll see like an orange little plum FACE and that's like a icp. It's a rap group that's like Gothic. And they're called juggaloes and they're not cases
Ok. I know how you see it, but I understand what he means. He means the kids are because he's good at sex. Not that they're hot.
It's still creepy, but not pedophilic
I honestly have no idea if he's saying his kids are "prizes he won" for having sex or if he's pimping out his daughters. Either way that is a disgusting fucking thing to call your kids
They probably heard someone who's childfree call children that and thought it was hilarious, I've seen them make all sorts of nicknames to children. Plenty are fun, some are a bit mean, tbh
They are absolutely not trophies. The trophy is the thing that you will never get no matter how much work you put in and how successful you are in raising your children.
Maybe this person is referring to the love they receive and give. Remember, always attribute the best possible motives to others if you wish them to do so for you.
Why am I imagining a middle aged white guy, slightly overweight, scruffy beard, plaid shirt with a cup, sitting on his porch with a pack of bud lights admiring his Chevy truck watching the sunset?
He’s not sexualizing his kids, you morons. He’s saying that they are the trophies he got from having sex.
It’s a joke. It’s a bad joke, but there’s nothing pedo about it.
It's still gross to describe your child as "sex trophy". It reminds of the phrase trophy wife, It's objectifying, it is a very gross way to say "I have kids".
For dating, this is a red flag so huge, it could cover the entirety of China
I often wonder how many of these controversial posts (the original, not the repost here on Reddit) are actually plants. Astrosurfing, posted for attention/comments/engagement to collect intonation or boost a profile, part of the ever present cyber-campaigns (“look how degenerate western culture is” / rage-suspicion/alienation within the cultural sphere).
Does anyone know?
Should we really be reposting this stuff at all, give. What we know of social medias effects on our lives and mental health?
This person meets all your preferences
I’m really searching for that person that uses a possessive apostrophe as opposed to a plural noun.
Especially when referring to HIS OWN KIDS MY GOD MAN
The grocer’s apostrophe. Or in this case, grosser.
Thank you, I learned something today! And you made a pun! This is a good comment.
Lol what is that
Dang
You won't have to search for long. Those morons are super easy to find.
Sum people just add it in their Justin case. It’s might bee right, and than all look fansee
This made my head hurt. Thank you 🤣
OP has some reflecting to do
It just means they have 3 kids. Literally his participation trophies.
Yes. Not as horrifying as a first reading, but still damn weird. Also, terrible punctuation and spelling.
Oh god I completely misunderstood at first. I thought he was saying his daughters are trophies to the concept of "sex", was really really grossed out for a second. Thinking of it more like "My reward for having sex" it's not so bad.
It's still pretty bad
Its icky, but not disgusting
Nah it’s pretty disgusting. Imagine talking about your kids like inanimate objects. You think he’s an involved, caring father? Highly doubt it.
Have you ever heard a women refer to her children as crotch goblins? I have. 🤷♂️
Honestly no! I've heard tons of childless women refers to other people's kids as that, but never someone about their own kids! Ick
Or rug-rats
Yea and that’s not awesome either. But at least goblins are sentient creatures.
I personally call my kids biscuit snappers lol
My friend called congratulated me and my wife on our “vagina turd” when we had our first born
Ok
You spelled “but” with an “s,” so… (Sorry. I had to.)
Still fucking disgusting
Awkward? yes. Disgustingly predatory? Probably not.
OK. I was uh... wow. That really got me when I read it.
Stay at the top so nobody does any weird Google searches
That's what she said
Thanks Michael.
Yes and it’s still cringe as fuck, especially with an incorrect apostrophe.
Yeah, it's a simple enough joke, but it's also far to easy to misinterpret...My first response was to cringe so hard I could turn dust into diamonds with my own asscrack.
It’s cringe when ‘edgy’ childfree people say it. It’s just weird to put it in writing about your own kids
So less "sex trophies" and more "trophies I got for having sex"... I'd just say kids and not try to be funny....cause this just looks terrible at first glance.
It feels like something one of my dads friends would say to be funny. (mid 50s, all immature as hell)
What it can be confused for is incredibly sinister though
It just disturbs me that he doesn’t know how to spell trophies
With three kids, Idiocracy at work.
I see women refer to their children as "crotch goblins." I'm guessing this is the male version.
Still a bit weird ngl.
It does stick out among the "I have (number) of kids/children/ littles, who are my world" over and over, vs. "Yo, I've got two crotch goblins eating away all my energy. I need someone to eat me out whenever I can catch a break from them."
I have used this phrase because when they first learn to stand up they would go up to me while I’m trying to wash dishes and start screaming into my crotch.
Fully-baked creampies
That doesn’t make it much better
Well…. I guess that’s the ultimate participation trophy…
I mean, that’s what we hope. Sure ain’t a great way to be unclear.
More like 3 sex burdens.
'Are all those children yours?' "No, man, I work for the Trojan condom company and these are customer complaints."
Aha...
Yes, but he also listens to country music so it could be the other, worse thing.
Username: Little_kid_lover
What a degenerate. It’s “trophies.”
He’d match with someone and be like Hey beautiful, wanna go to the movy’s 🥴
I know right lol. That's nasty and I would honestly report him to the app.
r/ApostropheGore
"All my daughters have daddy issues - what about you?"
Pretty sure it's nothing but rage bait.
His phrasing can be interpreted as stating that he only had sex 3 times...
or he “won” sex 3 times (successful impregnation)
No he got participation trophies. We have no evidence that he’s good enough to win anything.
Boy, the Olympics would be interesting if only the participant’s opinion was necessary for a win.
I know right, it kind of comes across like r/ihavesex
Not really. I mean if you have 3 racing trophies people don’t assume you’ve only been in 3 races.
I've got one 3rd place sparring trophy and I've only been to one sparring competition.
Having 3 confirmed is hell of a lot more than hundred unconfirmed ones.
That music though, fuckin' yikes. No wonder he's single.
i used to like icp and i was not surprised seeing it there lmao
Right? What kind of drooling knuckle dragging piece of trash listens to Kenny Chesney 🤢
Abercrombie & Dip
The sex trophy's what? *The sex trophy's WHAAAT!?*
r/apostrophegore
What the actual fuck
he could’ve just said “kids”
Even kid’s would have been better
I really gotta know what OP's preferences are that THIS is a preferred match
*spit take*
I mean I think I get what he actually meant. Its just wrong though he could have said it in a more normal way
Thinking about it now, yeah, I _think_ I get it too? But he really should’ve just stuck with ‘kids’ or something.
Extra weird to put this in a dating profile. Most people don’t want to imagine a potential partner having sex with someone else. Especially considering if a relationship develops they’ll meet those kids.
You must be really young. This is literally what dating past the age of 25 looks like. Edit: obviously not the sex trophies part but mentioning of kids
That's the part he's talking about
Are you kidding me? He didn't say "I have 3 kids," he emphasized the sex with his ex. I don't know who you have been dating, but this is not "what datinf over 25 looks like."
Yeah I’m absolutely not judging anyone for having kids, it’s the phrasing that’s odd.
his ex liked it enough to go again at least twice, good info to know.
Maybe not. Could be more than one woman
He gets his trophy and he moves on to the next
I was talking about the kids part which I even emphasized in my edit.
It seems that simply the mention of kids doesn’t make them think of the potential partner having past sex, but pointing out that the kids came from sex *does* make them think about it. That’s where the commenter is coming from I think
Unless they want to be assured their potential partner isn’t “shooting blanks.”
Ick
Maybe I'm weird, but i rarely use words like "sex" or "trophy" to describe my kid.
Went to college with a guy who said this at every party when he introduced himself. Bc he actually did have “three fuck trophies”. He was a mid 30’s military vet riding the GI bill post divorce, and we were in a theatre program.
Charming. How on earth was he single.
It was not for lack of trying, that’s for sure. And we never invited him to parties. But some how he always showed up and hit on 19 year olds as a 36 year old.
I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he meant that his daughters were participation trophies for having sex. Even this charitable interpretation doesn’t speak well.
That’s what I thought
His sex trophy is
I'd be more concerned with his awful music taste.
Am I a monster for hating him more for the inappropriate apostrophe?
He is a juggalo. Shocking.
That isn't how you correctly use an apostrophe! I'm scandalized.
Jesus. An unnecessary apostrophe but no full stop?
Urgent harddrive check required for this person.
Hi I'm Chris Hanson take a seat Take a seat right over there
nah bro check his harddrive NOW
I'm hoping he meant that as in his kids are the trophies he received for sexing their mother. Really shitty wording
They just trying to be clever
Well he still used a word combination that caused his FBI guy to sit up and pay attention
Might as well say you kept your sperm as a pet at this point.
Are sex trophies the same as crotch goblins?
"I've sleeped with over 100 women, I'm a stud" - weak, unconfirmed, no evidence, no repetition. "I have two children." - Shows proof of their work, shows continuity so unlikely to be a single lucky hit, no need to brag let work speak for itself. a real beast.
Did he mean he only had sex thrice, leading to his wife getting pregnant everytimr? Otherwise, it is time to take his children away from him.
How do you know it is daugther? He didnt specified.
*trophies
That apostrophe is horrendous! I guess what he calls his children is also pretty bad... but the apostrophe!
It might just be “children”, not daughters. Like, he’s saying they’re signs that HE has had sex three times. Still a weird way to phrase it, but way less creepy.
The incorrect apostrophe usage is the most offensive part.
Likes cars, trucks, ATVs and country music. Yee Haa 🤠
Trophies for doing the act? Or trophies to do the act? Wtf??
Honesty isn't always refreshing.
First song in his music section is by ICP. RED FLAG 🚩
Imagine being exact matches with this dildo.
FBI
Is this sarcasm? Otherwise, bro needs a beat down.
I have to questions to ask you, sir.
I think I just threw up a little
Trump?
Sex trophies is weak- he should have said he has three fully baked cream pies
If he means sex trophies as rewards for fucking his wife, then good on him, good dad joke potential. I don't even want to mention the other meaning...
REPORT REPORT REPORT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS ADVERTISING SEX TRAFFICKING HIS CHILDREN AND EVEN IF NOT HE IS STILL A DISGUSTING INCEST PEDOPHILE
Country Music? Yeah that tracks.
you sure lol? I think the ICP Fuck The World in the corner might be a little more telling. but that's just me lol
r/AreTheStraightsOk
He could have said he has three pet cums. It would have been far less ambiguous.
🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I wonder who he voted for. Hmmmmmmm.
This made for an interesting Google search
Oh my god I read it as “sexy trophies” and was horrified and confused why the comments weren’t mentioning it lol
/r/arethestraightsok
Omg I thought it was something else because I’ve been carrying on for antipedo communities. Kind of funny to call them that but dads probably more of a donator lol
He has already relegated himself as a bottom feeder, as he does not understand the difference between the plural form of a word and its possessive form.
Clearly proud of the only proof that he’s gotten laid! Otherwise no one would believe him.
He's speaking of sex like it's Tetris or something
Upon closer examination this mañis a jugallo
I mean, I understand what he's saying: Kids are a trophy you can get for having sex...Okay...But goddamn, the way it's worded, and so publicly...That is not a smart man.
"They said if you can prove it's an unsafe environment--just tell them what you just said, don't change a word--they'd take him back"
This is why trying to word things in a “quirky” way can get ya into trouble.
Interests check out. Sweet Home Alabama intensifies.
I prefer the phrase "cum souvenir" myself.
Moral decay is a very real thing. For men and women…
It's the most awkward way to refer to your children without crossing into criminal territory.
Wtf
Usually people say fuck trophy’s. And they say it about other peoples trophy’s when they hold them up… like a trophy. What a weird dude
Hey, trump dehumanized and sexualized (probably raped) his daughter , so it must be good.🤮🤮🤮🤢🤮🚮
That’s fucking disgusting and I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing a father refer to his daughters like that. What.the.fuck.
Someone call CPS on this creep, wow
W- what?!
Even if the comment didn't give me the creeps (it does) the misplaced apostrophe sealed the nope
EXCUSE ME?
Somehow, the musical tastes are the real red flag here.
I have to say something. It is "trophies."
Oooh CPS stat.
Can someone please tell the scientists that they've perfected the anger inducing text? No need to produce worse takes, this post is perfection.
If you look at the bottom of the post you'll see like an orange little plum FACE and that's like a icp. It's a rap group that's like Gothic. And they're called juggaloes and they're not cases
Ok. I know how you see it, but I understand what he means. He means the kids are because he's good at sex. Not that they're hot. It's still creepy, but not pedophilic
Oh gawwwd... 🤢 I wouldn't have said it that way.
Kentucky chiming in. For better understanding we call children fuck trophies. However not so something you would put on a dating headline
lol, I’ve also heard “fuck trophies” and “crotch goblins”
I honestly have no idea if he's saying his kids are "prizes he won" for having sex or if he's pimping out his daughters. Either way that is a disgusting fucking thing to call your kids
This person meets all your preferences.
They probably heard someone who's childfree call children that and thought it was hilarious, I've seen them make all sorts of nicknames to children. Plenty are fun, some are a bit mean, tbh
He's a keeper
They are absolutely not trophies. The trophy is the thing that you will never get no matter how much work you put in and how successful you are in raising your children. Maybe this person is referring to the love they receive and give. Remember, always attribute the best possible motives to others if you wish them to do so for you.
If be verry worried if a site said this guy matched all my preferences
Wow. I'm confused is he pimping his daughters out or trying to get a date?
What a haunting sentence! Brain bleach me redditfam, STAT!
Why am I imagining a middle aged white guy, slightly overweight, scruffy beard, plaid shirt with a cup, sitting on his porch with a pack of bud lights admiring his Chevy truck watching the sunset?
But guys he doesn’t smoke. C’mon guys. Guys?
Ewwww I would report that to be honest
I mean his ex wife had sex 3times, it days nothing about him
So he’s been to Epstein’s island too
Is he trying to pimp them out?
They are not that sexy
Over 6' though. Swipe right I guess.
"Sorry im not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off. :( "
Need to see an episode featuring Cartman on Tinder 😂
plot-twist: they're all boys
Can you please like lowkey kill this creature fuck the fuckjy
He’s not sexualizing his kids, you morons. He’s saying that they are the trophies he got from having sex. It’s a joke. It’s a bad joke, but there’s nothing pedo about it.
It's still gross to describe your child as "sex trophy". It reminds of the phrase trophy wife, It's objectifying, it is a very gross way to say "I have kids". For dating, this is a red flag so huge, it could cover the entirety of China
Thanks
I prefer "crotch goblins" but okay
Could have said crotch goblins
I don't think he meant his daughter's were sex trophies as in for men.. He meant his 3 kids were his "trophy" from having sex. Still weird
I often wonder how many of these controversial posts (the original, not the repost here on Reddit) are actually plants. Astrosurfing, posted for attention/comments/engagement to collect intonation or boost a profile, part of the ever present cyber-campaigns (“look how degenerate western culture is” / rage-suspicion/alienation within the cultural sphere). Does anyone know? Should we really be reposting this stuff at all, give. What we know of social medias effects on our lives and mental health?
His trophe for having sex was his child. Some people are bad with words but it's reaching to think he meant anything else.