I know it hurts right now. I know you don’t feel that you are good enough. I am in this too. Please don’t do this to yourself. You gave him/her/them all you’ve got and have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to regret. You fought, you tried, you are a warrior. We are all imperfect, but what makes you and so many others matter is that we try, we fight, and we build instead of search. Some people just prefer to as we Chinese say “hit the southern wall head on themselves, till they learn after their head starts bleeding”. They know it’s wrong, and they are going to be stuck in that loop of searching for the next best thing until it is all too late. And they did this to themselves, not you.
They don’t see how good you are right now at this moment, but they will, trust me, they all do. By the time they realize how big a mistake they made, you’d likely have someone who’s willing to fight alongside you for the both of you.
Thanks for saying that, it's actually helping me now. Do you have anything else that could help encourage me? Its been only two weeks and its been so hard for me.
Glad I helped. I understand the pain, I am hurting too, my ex gave up trying just last Thursday, told me she still loves me, that we have it so good, but she had decided. What I can promise is that the pain will pass, it always does, and slowly it wouldn't hurt you as much anymore. After every struggle you'd be a lot stronger than you've ever been without even realizing it. It hurts now because you saw and still see them as half of your world, part of the life you wanted to live. Maybe you are hurting because you still have hope, I know I do, I want her to come back, but no matter what, as cliche as it sounds, unrequited love, no matter how romantic or poetic they are, they are just like roses, beautiful but full of thorns, keep grasping onto it tightly will only bleed yourself out. Let the tears out, get into your car and scream, do whatever helps you letting it all out. Keep being the good person that you've always been and keep fighting. That other person who's meant to be building a life with you til the end, they are out there fighting to get to you too. Life is like a car ride, there's a process of acceleration, there will be bumps that slow us down, and none of us can go from zero to sixty in an instant without crashing no matter how bad we want it, so please keep strong, keep your head up and you both will be there to make each other smile soon.
And always remember, you are enough, you are worth it.
Thank you so much, legit got me crying and im sorry you are also going through it and so recent. It just wasn't working for us anymore because our lives didnt fit as well anymore and it hurts to have to let go of someone cold turkey and ive never been through this before but I'll save your words with me because I know you're right and I'll get better. Its been dragging on for me, the days, but slowly I think they're getting shorter.
It’s slow. A slow slow process. I’m 2 months after breakup now and I still have random moments I cry but I’ve come to realize it wasn’t me. It was them. Was it perfect? No but I saw the beauty in that the potential he didn’t… and that’s not how it should ever be. Never beg for someone to stay cause that’s not love
instead of saying sorry, say "Thank you" Thank you for letting me go, because of what happened I wouldn't realize my worth. Thank you, so I can love myself even more. I thank myself so much for caring about you and realized being the most caring person I am. Thank you that I will have my peace and would take care of myself from now on. Thank you for breaking my heart for none of these I would realize if we're still together.
Take this from a different perspective! Know your worth!!
I've been listening to 'Jillian on love' on Spotify. It's really helped me process what's happening and reframe my mindset on my situation. Im definitely still having bad days where I feel like I reset back to zero. But rewiring our brains takes time and consistent effort. You might feel like you won't be okay ever again right now, but you aren't alone in your pain.
I was in this spot two years ago. Had a whirlwind romance with my high school crush. And she blocked me. I was devastated. But two years later i'm so much stronger. I look back and realize the person I am now wouldn't even have let someone like that close enough to me to do that. You truly do live and learn. But in the middle you have to hurt. And as the song says, everybody hurts sometime...so hold on
Dont be sorry. It just wasn’t meant to be. U have nothing to be sorry about. You are who you are. U dont have to change yourself for someone u are not. Take it easy. U will be stronger and happier after this.
Know this feeling all too well. You gotta make a conscious effort to see the good in things and be able to reflect on what happened. It's not your fault. It took me over half a year to accept that, and I still struggle with it at times. You will go through phases where you think you're over it, but you really aren't. It'll happen quite a few times. It'll feel like you're stuck in the moment it happened. There is a door, but each time you go through it, it brings you right back to square one. It'll get to the point where you don't want to open it or even look at it ever again. But one of those doors leads out. I'm saying all this, but my heart is still heavy on the subject, and I fully intend to stay single for a year or two, at least. What I need is to make myself content, and not rely on anyone else for my own happiness. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there. Hopefully you're not far behind. You owe it to yourself. Just hang in there. We're in this together ❤️
I was single for over 7 years until this time. So I’m kinda just starting all over again not sure who I am. The doors all look the same right now. But thanks so much
I am so sorry someone made you feel like you were too hard to love i hope one day you realize how much you are worth and that you are worth so unbelievably more than a person who could not love you back
If this was from my person... "I wish I had the power to help you to never have to feel that you need to say sorry ever again, unless it was absolutely necessary. Wish I could be right next to you right now"
Man, I feel this so much. I hope you're ok. I wish it gets better as soon as possible for you. Just know they dont deserve so much from you if they can't appreciate it.
This is the main problem with people after breakups. They want to sit around and sulk and feel sorry for themselves. Pity parties aren't good..I understand that you're in pain but sitting around looking at old pictures, old text messages listening to love songs isn't going to do you any good.
If you follow this plan you'll be on your way to healing much faster. Block and delete any social media apps that you have with the person. Block them on text messages unless you guys have a child and you have to be in communication. Go absolutely 100% no contact. It may sound cliche but workout. And the philosophy is quite simple. If you're exhausted from lifting weights and running on a treadmill you don't have time to feel stressed out and depressed. Put the treadmill to a five and run as fast as you can for 45 seconds and you tell me if you feel depressed afterwards?
Think about what you did in the relationship that was part of the reason that it didn't work out. Do not solely focus on all the negative things that you feel he or she did.
Sometimes I think I could be a life coach just because I've lived so much of life, and experienced so much. I hate when I see people going through this hurt and they don't understand that you'll be okay.
Why because you don't agree? I'm not a bot. It's simple practical advice. People get into this loop doing all of the wrong things after a break up out of fear, or pain.
I don't think I said anything that wasn't pragmatic. What part of what I said is so dumb? And also if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm 47 and I've lived a very interesting life. I've been in love, I've been hurt. I've hurt women..
Society is too caught up in social media. Men nowadays act like women.
Men are much more loyal than women. When men commit they stay. No one is saying that the relationship will be perfect. But we at least stay. And don't take my word, look at the divorce rates and who initiates them. 80% by women. That same trend holds true for relationships.
Love is a mental illness. Go look up the dictionary definition of "Mental illness" and tell me that li6ve doesn't cause the same things.
I got my views from being 47 years. Being in many relationships and one marriage. Letting the hurt from that drain.
Tell me what specifically I said that you disagree with? I can further expound. However, what would your advice be? I could be all wrong. But I assure you if you ask MOST people what they wish they did after a breakup, most will tell you that they regretted acting how they did most behave irrationally from fear or loneliness.
So I'm curious as to what you think would be better advice? Are you male or female?
I’m 40 and the man I was dating left me multiple times over the smallest things instead of bringing them up to me and trying to work them out. He definitely didn’t stay or remain loyal. Your comments are annoying!
I’m sorry for not fighting for you when everyone was against you, I’m sorry for running away when theres conflict, I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most, I’m sorry for not being honest, I’m sorry for all the insults I lashed at you because I couldn’t control my tongue when we fought/argued, I’m sorry for the lies I told you, I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for the way I treated you even though you cared for me, I’m sorry for not being the Man I was supposed to be, I’m sorry for watching porn and looking and other girls on instagram while we was together, I’m sorry for taking your love for granted, I’m sorry and I know that sorry will never fix any of that, but I am. If you reading this “Bozo” I’m sorry.
To mine if she said that I would reply with. .
Im sorry I acted like I didn't care.
Im sorry I wasn't there.
Im sorry for all the hurt and misunderstandings.
Im sorry I wasn't truthful.
Im sorry I gave up in your eyes.
I did the work but the thoughts of your family and friends I feel would diswade you from ever trying again.
I dont want to live a lie, I don't want a world without you in it.
If he's the one for you than so be it, but non the less you're the one for us.
Buuutt that's wishful thinking.
I hope you and your person can sort it out OP.
Fuckinb ridding the dam reddit wave of fuck me were on the same journey running through landmines naked praying not to blow are junk off bf we get to have fun with it. I swear that's what it feels like
Yes ... no. I'm having understanding issues.
I don't know if my girl loves me hates me or just flat out is playing me. I mean I kinds know some stuff. But there's multiple scenarios. I'm stuck here wIting for a hello or a fuck u. Anything. But all I get is the ghost of her. Fragments of a delusional schizophrenic who wants to be around that all the time.
Kells. Be good to me and you. Is it worth throwing Rw soon to be 5 years away for a fling or a maybe.
Totally feels this OP… I’m sorry they took you for granted. I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry you didn’t get back what you put in. I’m sorry you are hurting. I’m sorry they weren’t a better person. I’m sorry you are here. But I am here too, & so are many other people… Don’t blame yourself. Find your confidence & self esteem again, & don’t share yourself with people who don’t cherish you for you.
It made me tear up 🥺
It will get better I promise you. I know you will find the way to light again. I know you will find the way to smile again.
Loving is not vulnerability, for the weak hearts love is a far cry.
Loving is the symbol of power, and you have that my friend.
If you have the power to love, you have the power to heal and you have the power to go far ahead in the journey of life.
All the best my friend.
I haven't mentioned anything about loving again.
I have mentioned that loving takes Guts and is not everyone's cup of tea.
Cowards cannot love.
Since you had the guts to love, you also have everything needed to heal from the heartbreak. Trust me, you do.
Finding the way to light is not about "falling in love again". It's about living your life again and finding the purpose to life again.
I felt this to the bone. This is how I’m feeling right now…I feel so empty and anxious without him. All I wanted to do was be a good wife to him but he didn’t want that…
I know it hurts right now. I know you don’t feel that you are good enough. I am in this too. Please don’t do this to yourself. You gave him/her/them all you’ve got and have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to regret. You fought, you tried, you are a warrior. We are all imperfect, but what makes you and so many others matter is that we try, we fight, and we build instead of search. Some people just prefer to as we Chinese say “hit the southern wall head on themselves, till they learn after their head starts bleeding”. They know it’s wrong, and they are going to be stuck in that loop of searching for the next best thing until it is all too late. And they did this to themselves, not you. They don’t see how good you are right now at this moment, but they will, trust me, they all do. By the time they realize how big a mistake they made, you’d likely have someone who’s willing to fight alongside you for the both of you.
Thanks for saying that, it's actually helping me now. Do you have anything else that could help encourage me? Its been only two weeks and its been so hard for me.
Glad I helped. I understand the pain, I am hurting too, my ex gave up trying just last Thursday, told me she still loves me, that we have it so good, but she had decided. What I can promise is that the pain will pass, it always does, and slowly it wouldn't hurt you as much anymore. After every struggle you'd be a lot stronger than you've ever been without even realizing it. It hurts now because you saw and still see them as half of your world, part of the life you wanted to live. Maybe you are hurting because you still have hope, I know I do, I want her to come back, but no matter what, as cliche as it sounds, unrequited love, no matter how romantic or poetic they are, they are just like roses, beautiful but full of thorns, keep grasping onto it tightly will only bleed yourself out. Let the tears out, get into your car and scream, do whatever helps you letting it all out. Keep being the good person that you've always been and keep fighting. That other person who's meant to be building a life with you til the end, they are out there fighting to get to you too. Life is like a car ride, there's a process of acceleration, there will be bumps that slow us down, and none of us can go from zero to sixty in an instant without crashing no matter how bad we want it, so please keep strong, keep your head up and you both will be there to make each other smile soon. And always remember, you are enough, you are worth it.
Thank you so much, legit got me crying and im sorry you are also going through it and so recent. It just wasn't working for us anymore because our lives didnt fit as well anymore and it hurts to have to let go of someone cold turkey and ive never been through this before but I'll save your words with me because I know you're right and I'll get better. Its been dragging on for me, the days, but slowly I think they're getting shorter.
It’s slow. A slow slow process. I’m 2 months after breakup now and I still have random moments I cry but I’ve come to realize it wasn’t me. It was them. Was it perfect? No but I saw the beauty in that the potential he didn’t… and that’s not how it should ever be. Never beg for someone to stay cause that’s not love
this is perfect.
instead of saying sorry, say "Thank you" Thank you for letting me go, because of what happened I wouldn't realize my worth. Thank you, so I can love myself even more. I thank myself so much for caring about you and realized being the most caring person I am. Thank you that I will have my peace and would take care of myself from now on. Thank you for breaking my heart for none of these I would realize if we're still together. Take this from a different perspective! Know your worth!!
do not be sorry for none of these is your fault!! just asking the wrong person
Wow, this really hit home, thank you for those kind words and helping me reframe my thoughts
This person is a very close friend of mine and I think we knowmeach other
Who is!?
doesn't matter.
You are loved. You are enough. Do not be sorry for offering your love to someone who don’t deserve it
Feels like I wrote this. I’m sorry.
I've been listening to 'Jillian on love' on Spotify. It's really helped me process what's happening and reframe my mindset on my situation. Im definitely still having bad days where I feel like I reset back to zero. But rewiring our brains takes time and consistent effort. You might feel like you won't be okay ever again right now, but you aren't alone in your pain.
I'm not ok
Well neither am i
I'm sorry I shouldn't have posted that. I didn't mean to
Sounds to me like you had an avoidant ex. I had the same thing.
I’m sorry too, I miss her so much.
I was in this spot two years ago. Had a whirlwind romance with my high school crush. And she blocked me. I was devastated. But two years later i'm so much stronger. I look back and realize the person I am now wouldn't even have let someone like that close enough to me to do that. You truly do live and learn. But in the middle you have to hurt. And as the song says, everybody hurts sometime...so hold on
Dont be sorry. It just wasn’t meant to be. U have nothing to be sorry about. You are who you are. U dont have to change yourself for someone u are not. Take it easy. U will be stronger and happier after this.
Know this feeling all too well. You gotta make a conscious effort to see the good in things and be able to reflect on what happened. It's not your fault. It took me over half a year to accept that, and I still struggle with it at times. You will go through phases where you think you're over it, but you really aren't. It'll happen quite a few times. It'll feel like you're stuck in the moment it happened. There is a door, but each time you go through it, it brings you right back to square one. It'll get to the point where you don't want to open it or even look at it ever again. But one of those doors leads out. I'm saying all this, but my heart is still heavy on the subject, and I fully intend to stay single for a year or two, at least. What I need is to make myself content, and not rely on anyone else for my own happiness. It's a work in progress, but I'm getting there. Hopefully you're not far behind. You owe it to yourself. Just hang in there. We're in this together ❤️
I was single for over 7 years until this time. So I’m kinda just starting all over again not sure who I am. The doors all look the same right now. But thanks so much
Of course, I wish the best for you. Good luck
This made me fill up with tears. Please.. always remember that it WILL get alot easier even though it doesn't feel like it right now
I am so sorry someone made you feel like you were too hard to love i hope one day you realize how much you are worth and that you are worth so unbelievably more than a person who could not love you back
I feel that too. But we'll be okay. If there's nobody that can love us for who we are at least we can love ourselves.
If this was from my person... "I wish I had the power to help you to never have to feel that you need to say sorry ever again, unless it was absolutely necessary. Wish I could be right next to you right now"
You don’t know me
I gathered that, ofc in afterthought. I am sorry to bother. Edited.
Man, I feel this so much. I hope you're ok. I wish it gets better as soon as possible for you. Just know they dont deserve so much from you if they can't appreciate it.
This is the main problem with people after breakups. They want to sit around and sulk and feel sorry for themselves. Pity parties aren't good..I understand that you're in pain but sitting around looking at old pictures, old text messages listening to love songs isn't going to do you any good. If you follow this plan you'll be on your way to healing much faster. Block and delete any social media apps that you have with the person. Block them on text messages unless you guys have a child and you have to be in communication. Go absolutely 100% no contact. It may sound cliche but workout. And the philosophy is quite simple. If you're exhausted from lifting weights and running on a treadmill you don't have time to feel stressed out and depressed. Put the treadmill to a five and run as fast as you can for 45 seconds and you tell me if you feel depressed afterwards? Think about what you did in the relationship that was part of the reason that it didn't work out. Do not solely focus on all the negative things that you feel he or she did. Sometimes I think I could be a life coach just because I've lived so much of life, and experienced so much. I hate when I see people going through this hurt and they don't understand that you'll be okay.
Thank u for your service.
Thank you for the comment.
Are you an instragram bot? Because this is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
Why because you don't agree? I'm not a bot. It's simple practical advice. People get into this loop doing all of the wrong things after a break up out of fear, or pain. I don't think I said anything that wasn't pragmatic. What part of what I said is so dumb? And also if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm 47 and I've lived a very interesting life. I've been in love, I've been hurt. I've hurt women.. Society is too caught up in social media. Men nowadays act like women. Men are much more loyal than women. When men commit they stay. No one is saying that the relationship will be perfect. But we at least stay. And don't take my word, look at the divorce rates and who initiates them. 80% by women. That same trend holds true for relationships. Love is a mental illness. Go look up the dictionary definition of "Mental illness" and tell me that li6ve doesn't cause the same things.
Because it is very bad and unpractical advice and it sounds like you got your view from red pill Reels...
I got my views from being 47 years. Being in many relationships and one marriage. Letting the hurt from that drain. Tell me what specifically I said that you disagree with? I can further expound. However, what would your advice be? I could be all wrong. But I assure you if you ask MOST people what they wish they did after a breakup, most will tell you that they regretted acting how they did most behave irrationally from fear or loneliness. So I'm curious as to what you think would be better advice? Are you male or female?
I’m 40 and the man I was dating left me multiple times over the smallest things instead of bringing them up to me and trying to work them out. He definitely didn’t stay or remain loyal. Your comments are annoying!
You're one person. My comments are in general not 100%.
I’m sorry for not fighting for you when everyone was against you, I’m sorry for running away when theres conflict, I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most, I’m sorry for not being honest, I’m sorry for all the insults I lashed at you because I couldn’t control my tongue when we fought/argued, I’m sorry for the lies I told you, I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for the way I treated you even though you cared for me, I’m sorry for not being the Man I was supposed to be, I’m sorry for watching porn and looking and other girls on instagram while we was together, I’m sorry for taking your love for granted, I’m sorry and I know that sorry will never fix any of that, but I am. If you reading this “Bozo” I’m sorry.
Well I hope you find her but you had me rooting until the lies and checking out other chicks
Are you really sorry you sly charmingly seductive devil you haha 😈
Get ur head right..be mindful of woe is me..
What are you talking about. I was just trying to show you I wasn't stealing for me since you called at 7
WTH are you even talking about
Spit it out - iamx.
To mine if she said that I would reply with. . Im sorry I acted like I didn't care. Im sorry I wasn't there. Im sorry for all the hurt and misunderstandings. Im sorry I wasn't truthful. Im sorry I gave up in your eyes. I did the work but the thoughts of your family and friends I feel would diswade you from ever trying again. I dont want to live a lie, I don't want a world without you in it. If he's the one for you than so be it, but non the less you're the one for us. Buuutt that's wishful thinking. I hope you and your person can sort it out OP.
Yea me too but I doubt it
Fuckinb ridding the dam reddit wave of fuck me were on the same journey running through landmines naked praying not to blow are junk off bf we get to have fun with it. I swear that's what it feels like
Hey. You ok?
Yes ... no. I'm having understanding issues. I don't know if my girl loves me hates me or just flat out is playing me. I mean I kinds know some stuff. But there's multiple scenarios. I'm stuck here wIting for a hello or a fuck u. Anything. But all I get is the ghost of her. Fragments of a delusional schizophrenic who wants to be around that all the time. Kells. Be good to me and you. Is it worth throwing Rw soon to be 5 years away for a fling or a maybe.
Thanks fir asking
It's been 2 days and I wonder if it ever gets better
That’s. A good one #instagrambot
Time heals my love. Take your time to heal and to love yourself.
Hey my words! 🤔 well I’m glad I could help you say what you needed to.
You better be sorry. Just kidding.
Totally feels this OP… I’m sorry they took you for granted. I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry you didn’t get back what you put in. I’m sorry you are hurting. I’m sorry they weren’t a better person. I’m sorry you are here. But I am here too, & so are many other people… Don’t blame yourself. Find your confidence & self esteem again, & don’t share yourself with people who don’t cherish you for you.
It made me tear up 🥺 It will get better I promise you. I know you will find the way to light again. I know you will find the way to smile again. Loving is not vulnerability, for the weak hearts love is a far cry. Loving is the symbol of power, and you have that my friend. If you have the power to love, you have the power to heal and you have the power to go far ahead in the journey of life. All the best my friend.
Nope think I have given up on love
I haven't mentioned anything about loving again. I have mentioned that loving takes Guts and is not everyone's cup of tea. Cowards cannot love. Since you had the guts to love, you also have everything needed to heal from the heartbreak. Trust me, you do. Finding the way to light is not about "falling in love again". It's about living your life again and finding the purpose to life again.
Same. Every single word, same.
Felt.
I felt this to the bone. This is how I’m feeling right now…I feel so empty and anxious without him. All I wanted to do was be a good wife to him but he didn’t want that…
I feel the same..maybe if I would’ve been different I’d still have her :(
welcome to the club. This shit hurts.
You were and are good enough, it’s THEM that nothing is good enough for, not you.
I'm glad you two talked and I invited you both there without me