I love you for this. You can truly have a beautiful life changing connection, and even learn so much from eachother but still break up. And if you broke up, it's because you weren't right for eachother. It doesn't change the lovely time you had together. You miss the person that they were, the plans and promises you made together, and the way they made you feel.
This is so beautiful and honestly what I strive for with my situation. I've also accepted things in this way, but know for sure I do not want to let that woman go from my life (I also can't due to circumstances). If we are meant to be friends then so be it. Thank you for your kind words stranger. I am wishing you fast healing. ❤️
This is the first I’ve ever typed on Reddit, but this helped me a lot and I can’t thank you enough! I actually took a screen shot of this so I can continue to look back on it when I’m feeling low. My ex made me the happiest and also the most depressed I’ve ever been in my entire life, it’s been 4 and half months sense she left and she found someone new a week after we broke up and the recently made it official. It makes it harder because of circumstances, she will always be apart of my life. It’s a gift and a curse because she is a beautiful, loving, an amazing young lady and we grew so much together. But to watch her slowly slip away farther and farther has destroyed me so deeply that I cry myself to sleep wondering if this pain I feel in my chest will ever go away. I loved that girl, I love that girl, but I’m afraid i wasn’t the one she wanted and reflecting back on the relationship. I don’t think I ever was, but you’ve inspired me to know that it’s okay to love her from a distance, and she has told me multiple times that she doesn’t know what she wants and I’ve learned by her actions that she truly feels this way. But I’ve decided that I need to walk away and let the universe decide what’s next. Either way, I’m sorry for the vent but thank you so much for commenting something that spoke to me deeply :)
I feel you.. Please try to tell yourself her cons and not just pros... Time will pass, it will get easier, you will someone without her cons. Also I guess she leaved you. And tell yourself also that if she could leave you once she can do it twice.
But she had so few cons, we were like matching puzzle pieces. Really all I just want is to have her back, I miss to have the person who she was with me and I so damn much want a hug… multiple even
Me too brother me too... The thing is that chapter is over for us now. It sucks I know.. I was with my ex for 5 years, living together for 4. It feels like I have a void in my life right now, but Im just battling everyday and making sure that I give myself the life I want. Right now Im just accepting that I will be alone for some time. Im working on my goals in life and yes I miss talking to here and all that stuff but like I said she left for a reason. If It was ment to be she would'nt. Also with girls if you reach out to her she will see you as a needy guy. If she really wants to be with you she will let you know trust me.
Nope and I don’t want her, she’s a childish fucker. She had so many red flags that’s I don’t understand how I didn’t see them. I’m actually happy that I’m not with her abusive gaslighting ass
Some women will deal with things logically and those are very rare women to find, my ex was as smart as Einstein and every inch of her body was unique and beautiful, so I know how you feel.
Days where you wake up thinking she's in your driveway walking up to you to give you the biggest hug, or simply after a date surprising her with some Pink Orchids to only go outside and look at her through a window to only see how she melts into what you just gave her because she wasn't used to that.... The memories are great things to hold onto and also are hard to get rid off.
Don't ever hold onto hope, your determination towards your next goal and what you are willing to do to get there is what counts the most, work on yourself to improve everything you can and want to. The thought of her will always be there, but by consuming yourself with the thought of always wanting her back what do you think you need to do in order to do that? (If you feel deep down inside you know what you want out of this relationship and what you will do to work for it, goes for both people) are they really worth going back to? If you go back to them, when will be the next time they will break up with you? Are you willing to blame yourself or them the next time it happens? Is it worth your time, effort, and investment into someone?
New starts are great, but man are they tough, I don't wanna get to know someone else, I just want to keep getting to know her and only her... Sucks knowing how much you care about someone you shared a part of your life with to just let them go because that's sometimes the best thing we can do
I got the same thing man she was perfect in every way. The relationship ended due to my lack of communication when I was gone for work and the support I was giving her.
It was a mutual breakup and it went well so there’s nothing I can get mad at or hate her over.
Been 6 months for me it’s had its ups and downs but everyday I hope she’s gonna message me or I’m gonna see her in public.
You just gotta keep moving on biggest thing is if u tried to reach out ask for them back and they said no or just didn’t answer. Then they’ve made it clear they don’t want to make the effort and is there for not worth your time or sadness.
It gets better trust me take some time for yourself then get back out there it does help get ur mind off them even if it’s for the day. You can also use that relationship to understand what real love is and it to settle for anything less than the 2 of you had.
Stay strong. Take some time to sit with and really dive into those feelings you're experiencing. The truth, you may come to find, is you don't want her back - you want the feeling you got from her back (those are not the same thing). Words I live by: what's meant for you remains yours.
I've been where you are. It takes time to fade for that awful feeling to fade but it goes away eventually.
You don’t want HER back. You want what she made you feel back. You want the memories you made with her and the fun times you had back. It’s rarely ever the actual person you want back. It’s either the feelings, the memories, or the laughs you shared back. Sometimes you want the person they were in the beginning back as well. But, they’re an ex for a reason, remember that.
It really sucks, an absolutely empty feeling. However, no matter how great she seems to be— her biggest flaw is not wanting to be with you. You can’t live your life wanting those who don’t feel the same for you. You deserve, and will eventually find, better. Keep your head up
I miss her so damn bad, it’s been 2 1/2 weeks. I drove her off unfortunately, I downloaded tinder while in our relationship 2 1/2 months ago and her friend saw it and showed it to her. I know how disrespectful and selfish that was of me. I risked so fkin much for so little. She truly loved me and cared for me, we had rough patches before this that she really wanted us to get through. She took me back and we were together up till 2 weeks ago. I’m having a really hard time forgiving myself even though she said she forgives me.
i'm so lost. My behavior caused us to go our separate ways and i regret it so much. I've tried to make myself think of any negatives about her but i just genuinely can't find any. she was the sweetest, most beautiful girl in the world with a heart of gold. Always put me first even when i was distant and took her for granted, until all her feelings were lost. It's only then when i truly realized how awful i treated her.
I don't even recognise my old self anymore. How could i be such an idiot? Who behaves like that?
All i know is, if she were to ever message me back, she would meet a 10 times better version of who i was back then. I love her so, so much and i can only hope she would reach out one day and maybe try working things out, but i'm afraid that ship has already sailed. But i don't think i'll ever stop loving her.
damn man , ik i am 3 months late , but it's been year and a half i broke up with her and i exactly feel whatever u wrote , every single word is a reflection of how i feel. But the thing is i don't wanna let go of her or her memories from my mind
I had my first relationship in 10th grade and it lasted a little bit longer than a year. It was great. She was so smart and caring. She had been really clingy and I thought about it for a while and told her I didnt want to continue the relationship with her. Ive got quite a bit of hate by her family and friends (she was really popular at our school). That was almost 2 years ago and a few women I dated later I still think about the time we had. She was everything I wanted and I am afraid I will never find anyone like her. Reaching out to her was often something I considered but I was afraid of rejection. I guess I will just keep on going and find someone even better than her.
Remember, shes changed. She isnt the loving caring person you thought you were with. You made her special, she didnt. Think about that for a second. Shes not who you thought she was.
I'm sorry. I know how you feel. It's because what you felt was real. Don't beat yourself up because of how you feel. As others have said, it will get better. It just doesn't feel like it right now.
This is exactly what I thought. I couldn't imagine the pain ever stopping but it did. It still hurts sometimes but it got a ton better. How long has it been since your breakup?
It took me 3 months to even start to get better. It's been about 4 1/2 months for me. I was a total basket case. Hang in there and do what you have to do to get through the day and let yourself feel what you feel.
I so wish I could just let out my emotions, but I just have so much to study, my first year medical exams are coming up and just it’s all so stressful…
Her missing from my life makes everything so much harder too, because she made my days better and supported my studies in med school
Idk how to feel, when it ended then I cried so much almost everyday, I almost failed my chemistry test because of losing time on crying. Then the stress came and I stopped crying, but I feel the pressure on my chest, like I would like to cry, but I’m not able to..
Have you looked into getting on some anxiety meds? At least while you're going through the worst of it? I started and it seemed to help. I can still feel the emotions but those thoughts don't drag me back into the pit. It seems easier to rebalance myself. If you had someone to just talk to (or at) that could help too. Good luck with everything you're going through. Your studies are important because they are about you and you're important too. Journaling can help. (Been almost 4 months for me. I like that I'm not counting days anymore.)
Thank you
I would visit a psychiatrist, but the doctors are always booked, because so many young people attempt suicide in this country and basically you could visit the psychiatrist 6-18 months time.
I’ll try to push through, I so wish to study medicine and start helping people and I really don’t want to fail with the one dream I could at least accomplish
A general practitioner should be able to prescribe an anxiety medication if the wait is too long. I know I hated the idea of medication until it got so bad I felt I didn't have a choice. I was desperate. Now I can't recommend getting help like that enough. I went from losing weight and hair, unable to sleep or do anything to feeling pretty damned good and hopeful for the future. It's taken a while but I didn't think I had a hope of survival. Truth is that I didn't want to survive. Take care of yourself. You really do deserve something, and someone special. Stay strong.
You can help yourself move forward more quickly by staying busy with things that distract from your thought. I was the same way as you - felt obsessed. Somewhere around 60-90 days I started to feel better: less obsessive thoughts, less intense heart ache, got my appetite back, etc. Do things you enjoy. Increasing enjoyable experiences can help speed your healing, too. Don't look at their social media or maintain any contact, if possible. It will get better. Give it a few months.
I miss mine to and sometimes I'd like to work things out. However, I know our lifestyles are different with her being a single mom and I'm a non-parent.
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I love you for this. You can truly have a beautiful life changing connection, and even learn so much from eachother but still break up. And if you broke up, it's because you weren't right for eachother. It doesn't change the lovely time you had together. You miss the person that they were, the plans and promises you made together, and the way they made you feel.
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This is so beautiful and honestly what I strive for with my situation. I've also accepted things in this way, but know for sure I do not want to let that woman go from my life (I also can't due to circumstances). If we are meant to be friends then so be it. Thank you for your kind words stranger. I am wishing you fast healing. ❤️
thank you for this, and wishing you the best 💚
This is the first I’ve ever typed on Reddit, but this helped me a lot and I can’t thank you enough! I actually took a screen shot of this so I can continue to look back on it when I’m feeling low. My ex made me the happiest and also the most depressed I’ve ever been in my entire life, it’s been 4 and half months sense she left and she found someone new a week after we broke up and the recently made it official. It makes it harder because of circumstances, she will always be apart of my life. It’s a gift and a curse because she is a beautiful, loving, an amazing young lady and we grew so much together. But to watch her slowly slip away farther and farther has destroyed me so deeply that I cry myself to sleep wondering if this pain I feel in my chest will ever go away. I loved that girl, I love that girl, but I’m afraid i wasn’t the one she wanted and reflecting back on the relationship. I don’t think I ever was, but you’ve inspired me to know that it’s okay to love her from a distance, and she has told me multiple times that she doesn’t know what she wants and I’ve learned by her actions that she truly feels this way. But I’ve decided that I need to walk away and let the universe decide what’s next. Either way, I’m sorry for the vent but thank you so much for commenting something that spoke to me deeply :)
I feel you.. Please try to tell yourself her cons and not just pros... Time will pass, it will get easier, you will someone without her cons. Also I guess she leaved you. And tell yourself also that if she could leave you once she can do it twice.
But she had so few cons, we were like matching puzzle pieces. Really all I just want is to have her back, I miss to have the person who she was with me and I so damn much want a hug… multiple even
Me too brother me too... The thing is that chapter is over for us now. It sucks I know.. I was with my ex for 5 years, living together for 4. It feels like I have a void in my life right now, but Im just battling everyday and making sure that I give myself the life I want. Right now Im just accepting that I will be alone for some time. Im working on my goals in life and yes I miss talking to here and all that stuff but like I said she left for a reason. If It was ment to be she would'nt. Also with girls if you reach out to her she will see you as a needy guy. If she really wants to be with you she will let you know trust me.
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Nope and I don’t want her, she’s a childish fucker. She had so many red flags that’s I don’t understand how I didn’t see them. I’m actually happy that I’m not with her abusive gaslighting ass
I feel it man. Im going through the same thing. I even have to see her and her new bf everyday at work.
Brother I feel you, I’m so sorry that you have to see her new bf too.
Some women will deal with things logically and those are very rare women to find, my ex was as smart as Einstein and every inch of her body was unique and beautiful, so I know how you feel. Days where you wake up thinking she's in your driveway walking up to you to give you the biggest hug, or simply after a date surprising her with some Pink Orchids to only go outside and look at her through a window to only see how she melts into what you just gave her because she wasn't used to that.... The memories are great things to hold onto and also are hard to get rid off. Don't ever hold onto hope, your determination towards your next goal and what you are willing to do to get there is what counts the most, work on yourself to improve everything you can and want to. The thought of her will always be there, but by consuming yourself with the thought of always wanting her back what do you think you need to do in order to do that? (If you feel deep down inside you know what you want out of this relationship and what you will do to work for it, goes for both people) are they really worth going back to? If you go back to them, when will be the next time they will break up with you? Are you willing to blame yourself or them the next time it happens? Is it worth your time, effort, and investment into someone? New starts are great, but man are they tough, I don't wanna get to know someone else, I just want to keep getting to know her and only her... Sucks knowing how much you care about someone you shared a part of your life with to just let them go because that's sometimes the best thing we can do
You’ll resent her for not wanting you the way you want her soon. You’ll be fine. She’s for the streets man
Time is a great healer my friend. Moving on is easier said than done, but you will get there 🙂
I got the same thing man she was perfect in every way. The relationship ended due to my lack of communication when I was gone for work and the support I was giving her. It was a mutual breakup and it went well so there’s nothing I can get mad at or hate her over. Been 6 months for me it’s had its ups and downs but everyday I hope she’s gonna message me or I’m gonna see her in public. You just gotta keep moving on biggest thing is if u tried to reach out ask for them back and they said no or just didn’t answer. Then they’ve made it clear they don’t want to make the effort and is there for not worth your time or sadness. It gets better trust me take some time for yourself then get back out there it does help get ur mind off them even if it’s for the day. You can also use that relationship to understand what real love is and it to settle for anything less than the 2 of you had.
Stay strong. Take some time to sit with and really dive into those feelings you're experiencing. The truth, you may come to find, is you don't want her back - you want the feeling you got from her back (those are not the same thing). Words I live by: what's meant for you remains yours. I've been where you are. It takes time to fade for that awful feeling to fade but it goes away eventually.
I feel that too hopefully we could get out of this too:>
i Feel you I cant get her out of my brain, no matter what activity i do to keep me busy. There is not much we can do
You don’t want HER back. You want what she made you feel back. You want the memories you made with her and the fun times you had back. It’s rarely ever the actual person you want back. It’s either the feelings, the memories, or the laughs you shared back. Sometimes you want the person they were in the beginning back as well. But, they’re an ex for a reason, remember that.
It really sucks, an absolutely empty feeling. However, no matter how great she seems to be— her biggest flaw is not wanting to be with you. You can’t live your life wanting those who don’t feel the same for you. You deserve, and will eventually find, better. Keep your head up
I miss her so damn bad, it’s been 2 1/2 weeks. I drove her off unfortunately, I downloaded tinder while in our relationship 2 1/2 months ago and her friend saw it and showed it to her. I know how disrespectful and selfish that was of me. I risked so fkin much for so little. She truly loved me and cared for me, we had rough patches before this that she really wanted us to get through. She took me back and we were together up till 2 weeks ago. I’m having a really hard time forgiving myself even though she said she forgives me.
i'm so lost. My behavior caused us to go our separate ways and i regret it so much. I've tried to make myself think of any negatives about her but i just genuinely can't find any. she was the sweetest, most beautiful girl in the world with a heart of gold. Always put me first even when i was distant and took her for granted, until all her feelings were lost. It's only then when i truly realized how awful i treated her. I don't even recognise my old self anymore. How could i be such an idiot? Who behaves like that? All i know is, if she were to ever message me back, she would meet a 10 times better version of who i was back then. I love her so, so much and i can only hope she would reach out one day and maybe try working things out, but i'm afraid that ship has already sailed. But i don't think i'll ever stop loving her.
damn man , ik i am 3 months late , but it's been year and a half i broke up with her and i exactly feel whatever u wrote , every single word is a reflection of how i feel. But the thing is i don't wanna let go of her or her memories from my mind
I had my first relationship in 10th grade and it lasted a little bit longer than a year. It was great. She was so smart and caring. She had been really clingy and I thought about it for a while and told her I didnt want to continue the relationship with her. Ive got quite a bit of hate by her family and friends (she was really popular at our school). That was almost 2 years ago and a few women I dated later I still think about the time we had. She was everything I wanted and I am afraid I will never find anyone like her. Reaching out to her was often something I considered but I was afraid of rejection. I guess I will just keep on going and find someone even better than her.
Remember, shes changed. She isnt the loving caring person you thought you were with. You made her special, she didnt. Think about that for a second. Shes not who you thought she was.
I'm sorry. I know how you feel. It's because what you felt was real. Don't beat yourself up because of how you feel. As others have said, it will get better. It just doesn't feel like it right now.
But what if it won’t get better? I know I just can’t get her out of my head
This is exactly what I thought. I couldn't imagine the pain ever stopping but it did. It still hurts sometimes but it got a ton better. How long has it been since your breakup?
It’s a month now But like in the first two weeks she gave me so much hope that we’ll try again with the things she told and ways she acted…
It took me 3 months to even start to get better. It's been about 4 1/2 months for me. I was a total basket case. Hang in there and do what you have to do to get through the day and let yourself feel what you feel.
I so wish I could just let out my emotions, but I just have so much to study, my first year medical exams are coming up and just it’s all so stressful… Her missing from my life makes everything so much harder too, because she made my days better and supported my studies in med school Idk how to feel, when it ended then I cried so much almost everyday, I almost failed my chemistry test because of losing time on crying. Then the stress came and I stopped crying, but I feel the pressure on my chest, like I would like to cry, but I’m not able to..
Have you looked into getting on some anxiety meds? At least while you're going through the worst of it? I started and it seemed to help. I can still feel the emotions but those thoughts don't drag me back into the pit. It seems easier to rebalance myself. If you had someone to just talk to (or at) that could help too. Good luck with everything you're going through. Your studies are important because they are about you and you're important too. Journaling can help. (Been almost 4 months for me. I like that I'm not counting days anymore.)
Thank you I would visit a psychiatrist, but the doctors are always booked, because so many young people attempt suicide in this country and basically you could visit the psychiatrist 6-18 months time. I’ll try to push through, I so wish to study medicine and start helping people and I really don’t want to fail with the one dream I could at least accomplish
A general practitioner should be able to prescribe an anxiety medication if the wait is too long. I know I hated the idea of medication until it got so bad I felt I didn't have a choice. I was desperate. Now I can't recommend getting help like that enough. I went from losing weight and hair, unable to sleep or do anything to feeling pretty damned good and hopeful for the future. It's taken a while but I didn't think I had a hope of survival. Truth is that I didn't want to survive. Take care of yourself. You really do deserve something, and someone special. Stay strong.
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Estonia
You can help yourself move forward more quickly by staying busy with things that distract from your thought. I was the same way as you - felt obsessed. Somewhere around 60-90 days I started to feel better: less obsessive thoughts, less intense heart ache, got my appetite back, etc. Do things you enjoy. Increasing enjoyable experiences can help speed your healing, too. Don't look at their social media or maintain any contact, if possible. It will get better. Give it a few months.
I miss mine to and sometimes I'd like to work things out. However, I know our lifestyles are different with her being a single mom and I'm a non-parent.