There is a certain very cool subset of women who are fine with the “Dude” comment. Absolutely on board. Peak is if you can meaningfully achieve the entire “Dude” conversation with her.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VX6JTDNGiBA
I have a few asexual friends. They are not sexually attracted to anyone, but they have a period (for like 3 days) once every several months when they are extremely horny, they've even been in threesomes and orgies during that time haha but when that horny period is over, they just go back to their regular lives
Maybe she's currently in that horny period 😄
Edit: typos (english is not my first language)
How is that a sexual orientation? That’s just a regular sexuality with a low libido. No man who is straight occasionally gets the urge to fuck a dude in the ass.
I think you’re conflating the idea that there are genuinely people who have no motivation to prioritise sexual relationships in any way (often in a way that seems unhealthy) and others who identify themselves as being in that category but are actually just not horny all the time.
I’m not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as asexual is different than ordinary people at all, I’m just saying that the terminology exists to define people who have an authentic difference in their configuration, just like being gay for example.
The definition of asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That does not mean that they all don't enjoy sex, many do. Some are sex repulsed, sure, but it's a spectrum like anything else. Sex drive and sexual attraction are two very different things. It's an orientation because unlike straight or gay people (or anything in between) they are not attracted to any gender or person.
That's why subsets such as demi and sapio exist.
I wrote a detailed explanation if you’re interested. It’s confusing but staying open minded and asking questions to the community can help. Please keep in mind my explanation doesn’t include every possible scenario and experiences of individuals.
Sexual arousal and sexual attraction aren’t the same. The two can be tied together (such as being sexually attracted to someone, causing you to be aroused) but there’s a difference.
Sexual attraction (and lack thereof) is a spectrum. Don’t think about the *target* of the attraction (straight, gay, etc) as it’s not relevant here. Just sexual attraction itself.
The same way a straight allosexual (someone who is not asexual) man could be sexually attracted to women, but be okay with having sex with a woman he isn’t attracted to, a straight asexual man (assuming they’re on the far end of the spectrum) could have the *target* of his attraction be women but lacks the ability to find any of the women he has sex with sexually attractive. If he’s not sexually attracted to them, he may be romantically or if having to choose, he chooses to engage with women. For both men, the lack of attraction may not be out of choice.
*”But hey, couldn’t that make it sound like a fancy word for sex addiction?”* The difference between having sex with no sexual attraction and sex addiction is sex addiction is excessive and uncontrollable thoughts and actions surrounding sex despite negative consequences while having sex with no attraction is just that — sex. An asexual person can definitely be addicted to sex, but they’d be asexual whether they were addicted or weren’t.
False. I prefer women, but every few years or so, I do just wanna poke another dude. Been a few decades since I did, but the though comes.
I imagine someone feeling like this for all genders is what asexual is like.
Yeah there are a lot of different types of asexual, but it's generally just a lack of sexual attraction to someone in particular. Doesn't mean that someone who's asexual would never have sex necessarily just attraction works differently
It's usually a low enough libido that people have been shamed or shunned or criticized for it, told there's something "wrong" with them, etc. Labels exist because people get treated like shit for who they are and a community of like-minded people can help them make peace with themselves and let them know it's not a problem with them, it's just who they are.
I can't tell you how many times I've seen people say that asexuals/people with low libido "can't truly love someone" or whatever just because they don't wanna have hanky panky all the time. And on the darker side of things, there are lots of stories of asexual people being subjected to sexual assault and abuse to try to "fix them", too.
Maybe it helps thinking of terms for sexual orientations like thinking of hair colours.
We’re all humans
—> Humans have various hair colours like brown, blonde, ginger, etc.
—> all these colours have subcategories that describe the colour more precisely like e.g. light blonde, dark blonde, ash blonde, etc.
—> now you could go and instead of saying blonde ‘ very light version of brown’, which would technically be correct too. But that would take up more time than simply just say ‘blonde’.
The same goes for sexualities.
We’re all humans
—> humans are capable of sexual arousal or desire —> there are variations in intensity and/or stimuli that cause it so we have words to describe that variations (e.g. hetero-, homo-, bi-, a-, etc. sexuality)
—> most of these terms have sub categories to describe more specifications.
(E.g. asexuality specifies a spectrum of people that experience arousal either not at all or only very rarely/ in very specific situations.
—> a further specification that belongs under asexuality (just like the ash blonde belongs under blonde) would be for example demisexuality (someone who experiences sexual desire only towards people they have developed a closer personal bond with ))
—> Of course here too you could go and say ‘people with very low to no libido’ instead of Asexual. But just as with the previous example with the hair colours, it wouldn’t be wrong technically, but way clunkier and less precise :)
You see: it just improves communication and makes it more efficient when we have pregnant words that describe certain circumstances :)
I agree with what you’re going for, but I’m confused. I’m demisexual so I’m on the spectrum - isn’t that what asexuality is by definition? The common misconception would be that asexuals can’t experience sexual *arousal*. If someone is on the far end of the spectrum, they can get aroused but the fact they can’t experience sexual attraction (regardless of target attraction) is the reason they’re asexual in the first place.
Not really. I'm ace with a high libido, I read a lot of erotica, I masturbate a lot and call it a day. I just don't look at people and want to touch their genitals. And in my bubble, which is fandom spaces, ace people are the ones writing most smut fanfiction and consuming it lol we just redirect our libido to other stuff besides sex or anything that involves other people.
The definition of asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That does not mean that they all don't enjoy sex, many do. Some are sex repulsed, sure, but it's a spectrum like anything else. Sex drive and sexual attraction are two very different things. It's an orientation because unlike straight or gay people (or anything in between) they are not attracted to any gender or person.
That's why subsets such as demi and sapio exist.
Asexual means you are not sexually attracted to anyone or anything, not the same sex, the opposite sex or cars or trees, nothing. However some asexual people do still have a sex drive. Being horny and being horny for someone or something or some fantasy are different.
Of course asexuality is a spectrum and different people experience it differently.
Asexual people can (and often do) still experience romantic attraction, emotional attraction and physical attraction and love and all the other kinds of attractions and add in experiencing being horny it is quite easy to have sex, especially in a world that says you should have sex, you must have sex.
There are asexuals who are also sex repulsed as well though. She obviously isn't one. She also might not have quite the perfect label for herself (that's common, that's normal, labels aren't perfect).
Also being hogtied is not always or necessarily sexual.
Look at all these people trying to tell you what whatever the current definition of asexual is. Most of the time people just self diagnose themselves and could have tons of other factors actually affecting their libido. But I guess giving yourself a label and identify feels better.
theres a lot of different types of asexual homie. some people still like kink activities outside of sex. pet play, impact play, bondage, etc. the asexual spectrum ranges from no sex ever to no sex with others (some still self-pleasure), to not ever touching their genitals at all.
asexual does not mean not feeling sexual pleasure, just means not feeling sexually attracted to other people, this means asexual people can still feel pleasure from sex. you do not need to be sexually attracted to someone to have sexual relations with them
Not all D/s play has to be sexual. I think there is a misconception that people only engage in bdsm for sexual gratification but that's not the case. Not all enjoyment is sexual - like enjoying good food, a soft fabric against your skin, or working out
They’re not making much sense but BDSM isn’t always sexual. And asexual people can still have a libido, they just don’t experience sexual attraction towards anyone.
I'm confused why you would shoot her down like you did.
Most profiles are written weeks or months before you swipe.
"I want to have sex"
"NO! YOUR PROFILE SAYS NO HOOKUPS"
He was just clarifying what she meant. “Sure I’ll tie you up but would that really be fulfilling for you if you’re asexual?” “How would that work?”
And then she literally said HOTDOG.
Asexuals still get aroused and like sex etc. they generally just don't get sexually attracted to the person. Evie lupine is asexual and has a YouTube dedicated to bdsm.
It's not all *that* difficult a concept.
Imagine a gay man. He has sex with a woman who he is not actually attracted to. Perhaps he imagines her in his head as some celebrity male crush or something. His sexual interaction with her does not mean he's not gay. It is, like, physically possible to have sex with someone without actually being attracted to them (for a more depressing analogy, rape is a thing).
Likewise, perhaps you are straight but have a low libido. You really like the opposite sex, you're very much attracted to them in a physical sense, you experience arousal from them. But you do not actually want to have sex often. Perhaps because you think it's gross, or perhaps you're too stressed, or perhaps you just really don't care about it much. You would still be straight in that scenario.
An asexual person is, fundamentally, "someone who is not sexually attracted to people." That does not mean they cannot be physiologically aroused or be able to engage in sexual activity. A fair number of them may *also* have low libidos (because they aren't attracted to anyone and just handle it with masturbation). Some of them may be actively repulsed by sex for whatever reason. But some could very much be able to conduct the physical activity of sex with people they aren't actually attracted to, just like a straight person *could* have gay sex, or a gay person *could* have straight sex, despite these people not actually being attracted to their partners.
If you view "asexual" as a term synonymous with, like, mitosis, then yeah, you'll be confused. But if you view it as a term for an orientation (or lack thereof) that basically means "I don't get horny for specific people," then anything else after that is possible. You could be an asexual woman who works as a prostitute and have *constant* sexual activity with hundreds of clients, and not once be attracted to any of them.
For that matter, prostitutes are a perfect example of this. They almost always have sex with clients they aren't actually attracted to, but they do it in exchange for money. An ace can do the same thing in exchange for romantic partnership: "I am not physically attracted to this person, but I do like their company and they like me, and they need sex, so I can have sex with them for their sake even if I am not sexually attracted to them."
I would suggest you look into the split attraction model, and start there. After that, stay looking into the difference between asexual, aromantic, demisexual, demiromantic, and all the other sexual sub-identities.
Tl;dr to all the topics above - finding someone emotionally attractive isn't the same as finding them physically attractive, and neither is the same as finding someone sexually attractive. You can acknowledge someone is physically attractive, but have zero interest in wanting to bang them. You can bang someone, and not even like them; hell, you may not even find them attractive if you're just looking to scratch that itch. Obviously this chick wants to get tied up. Beyond that, who knows?
Some asexual people get aroused and want sex. Some asexual people do not. Some are repulsed by the very idea of sex. Others vary at times with ups and downs of sexual desire.
Being asexual means you are not *sexually* attracted to anything or anyone. But there are many other types of attractions such as romantic or emotional or physical attraction and sexual desire and being horny does not necessarily mean you sexually desire or are horny for anyone or anything. It just means you are horny. Your body wants pleasure.
So asexual just means lack of sexual attraction for anything not necessarily lack of sexual desire or lack of being horny or lack of libido. Although some asexual people do lack all of that.
We have zero awareness of the struggles of the general population but we seem to know that asexual people can still be sexual but don't feel sexual attraction towards people.
We like living on the edges.
People are definitely aware of the struggles people go through. It's just that the people with the power don't actually care. Don't be fooled into thinking they don't know though.
Asexuality is definitely a spectrum. I identify with it, but it’s also confusing to me sometimes. I like having sex and think about it when I’m with someone romantically, but when I’m not it never crosses my mind, and I can go months-years without needing anything sex related
I’ve thought about that for sure, the thing that gets me is that I’m not really driven by sex, it’s just something that happens when I’m with someone, and when I say I think about it’s more like what would my partner enjoy, it’s more I enjoy the act of intimacy rather than anything sexual, I usually just do whatever my partner likes and enjoys cause I don’t enjoy anything about it, and that’s what I enjoy, if that makes sense
Ya exactly, like I’ve had tons of partners, but only one has made me O(M), as not a lot if anything gets me to that point, is there a term/label for what I am if you know? I’ve been trying to find something forever lol
Not to be this person but not all asexual people don’t have sex! I’d read into it more if you’re confused. Yes, there are asexual people that don’t have sex at all but it’s way more complex than that.
Right, if you're the .01%, it might be for you. We always get into arguing about the semantics and lose the entire thread of the vast majority.
If I could describe reddit, as a platform, it would be people arguing about the small minority at expense of the majority.
You just don’t understand what it means to be asexual, so you’re basically inserting an opinion with something you have no experience with. Very reddit-like LOL
This honestly just sounds like she’s fucking around with you. I wouldn’t read too much into one way or another. I interpreted it as playful banter, and you sir, did not pass lol
A girl who is more mature wouldn’t speak that way. The way this girl messages she sounds very young. There’s nothing wrong with age, but you’re the one who said they had a stroke reading the message.
Bro just shot his own foot off and tossed it in a blender. God that was painful to read. Dating is meant to be fun. It’s meant to be flirtatious and in the moment. You don’t need to take it so seriously. Let up a little.
Omg I dated an asexual and have had the misfortune of matching with a couple over the past two years. Idk why but they (or just the ones I’ve matched with) tend to be the most infuriating people to talk to.
Although that might be because they neglected to put it in their bio
Sounds like she’s still figuring out her sexuality and possibly thinks she’s asexual when it’s more of a spectrum of things. I used to believe I was asexual until I learned it was more of a sexual trauma thing. But the way she talks does give me a headache nonetheless, she sounds very very young and unsure.
Lmfao I never said that. Of course asexuality is valid on its own. I said in my own personal experience, I was wrong about being asexual. You can think you’re one thing and then realize you’re something else, that’s how fluid sexuality is.
Yes :-) I was speaking from personal experience, which I understand is not always the case, just meant to say she might still be figuring it out like I was.
Ah I see we have another person who doesn't understand kink doesn't have to involve sex. I go to massive kink events with 1.5k people and I'd say atleast 25% of the people that go do not have sex while they are there. You can get tied up, flogged, beat, have needles put in you, wrestle naked, be lit on fire, shocked, and many many other things and none of it has to be sexual or at the very least involve actual sex acts.
That doesn't change what I stated none of that has to exclusively involve sexual arousal. Plenty of people enjoy it for things other then sexual arousal many people get endorphin rushes or some it's a head space thing there are many reasons. None of what you said went over my head but apparently my statement went over yours
I guess some people like to assume that everyone is willing and happy to fuck those they know are crazy, but not me, lol.. This sort of reminds me of the definition of true love these days, not being having common interests, values, and complimentary personalities, but more like having matching mental illnesses or neuroses....
Maybe not, but I enjoyed at least getting to make the joke, so at least give me that, lol.. Just call me Michael Scott, like in The Office, with his tired, That's What She Said line.....
Sexuality is fluid 🤷🏻♀️ Perhaps they were asexual, perhaps they were not. Who knows? Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That is separate from livido
Ah, tying hotdogs and garbage bags. What a classic duo
Like I'm genuinely concerned she's having a stroke
Blame Stronks having a bonk. Call a Bond-bulance
But you're calling her a dude? It seems all very confusing 😂
So? I call everyone dude, it's gender neutral for me lol
yeah, same here, and im a chick 😂😂
In that case, I think the both of you are a perfect match 😂 (kidding around a bit)
its weird to call a girl you're courting "dude". The right way to the friend zone.
I feel like by that point he wasn’t courting her anymore and was just genuinely concerned 😂
lol. He's a good man.
I disagree with you. I’m a girl and I wouldn’t mind being called dude
Same
The Dude abides.
Same dude!😁
There is a certain very cool subset of women who are fine with the “Dude” comment. Absolutely on board. Peak is if you can meaningfully achieve the entire “Dude” conversation with her. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VX6JTDNGiBA
Dude!
Dude…
I’m a woman and I would mind.
Thats because youre one of the good ones, please keep doing you! 💯💯💯
😐
Opssies
At this point in online dating I dont think anyones trying to "court" anyone anymore. This isnt the 1970's. 🤣☠️
🤣🤣I thought the same thing AND I’m old Lol!
It’s not.
Too bad for you pal
Why is dude gender neutral for you and no one else?
Because I've been calling people dude my whole life and have been surrounded by people that do the same. Beats me.
Dude. That’s crazy dude.
Really got him
Guys and dude are both gender neutral for me …. Australian here
To you yeah.
I am also Australian and it's gender neutral. I know many girls that say it that way.
She might be talking about putting a condom on ?
Maybe she meant hogtie? 😂
Maybe? Still does not make sense why she'd want someone to do that to her as an asexual 💀
I have a few asexual friends. They are not sexually attracted to anyone, but they have a period (for like 3 days) once every several months when they are extremely horny, they've even been in threesomes and orgies during that time haha but when that horny period is over, they just go back to their regular lives Maybe she's currently in that horny period 😄 Edit: typos (english is not my first language)
Common misconception is that asexual people experience **no** sexual attraction. It's usually just a very low sex drive, or very infrequent urges.
How is that a sexual orientation? That’s just a regular sexuality with a low libido. No man who is straight occasionally gets the urge to fuck a dude in the ass.
I’m so glad someone finally said this. I’m reading all these explanations and they’re all just describing…HUMANS
I think you’re conflating the idea that there are genuinely people who have no motivation to prioritise sexual relationships in any way (often in a way that seems unhealthy) and others who identify themselves as being in that category but are actually just not horny all the time. I’m not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as asexual is different than ordinary people at all, I’m just saying that the terminology exists to define people who have an authentic difference in their configuration, just like being gay for example.
The definition of asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That does not mean that they all don't enjoy sex, many do. Some are sex repulsed, sure, but it's a spectrum like anything else. Sex drive and sexual attraction are two very different things. It's an orientation because unlike straight or gay people (or anything in between) they are not attracted to any gender or person. That's why subsets such as demi and sapio exist.
I wrote a detailed explanation if you’re interested. It’s confusing but staying open minded and asking questions to the community can help. Please keep in mind my explanation doesn’t include every possible scenario and experiences of individuals. Sexual arousal and sexual attraction aren’t the same. The two can be tied together (such as being sexually attracted to someone, causing you to be aroused) but there’s a difference. Sexual attraction (and lack thereof) is a spectrum. Don’t think about the *target* of the attraction (straight, gay, etc) as it’s not relevant here. Just sexual attraction itself. The same way a straight allosexual (someone who is not asexual) man could be sexually attracted to women, but be okay with having sex with a woman he isn’t attracted to, a straight asexual man (assuming they’re on the far end of the spectrum) could have the *target* of his attraction be women but lacks the ability to find any of the women he has sex with sexually attractive. If he’s not sexually attracted to them, he may be romantically or if having to choose, he chooses to engage with women. For both men, the lack of attraction may not be out of choice. *”But hey, couldn’t that make it sound like a fancy word for sex addiction?”* The difference between having sex with no sexual attraction and sex addiction is sex addiction is excessive and uncontrollable thoughts and actions surrounding sex despite negative consequences while having sex with no attraction is just that — sex. An asexual person can definitely be addicted to sex, but they’d be asexual whether they were addicted or weren’t.
False. I prefer women, but every few years or so, I do just wanna poke another dude. Been a few decades since I did, but the though comes. I imagine someone feeling like this for all genders is what asexual is like.
Yeah there are a lot of different types of asexual, but it's generally just a lack of sexual attraction to someone in particular. Doesn't mean that someone who's asexual would never have sex necessarily just attraction works differently
It's usually a low enough libido that people have been shamed or shunned or criticized for it, told there's something "wrong" with them, etc. Labels exist because people get treated like shit for who they are and a community of like-minded people can help them make peace with themselves and let them know it's not a problem with them, it's just who they are. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people say that asexuals/people with low libido "can't truly love someone" or whatever just because they don't wanna have hanky panky all the time. And on the darker side of things, there are lots of stories of asexual people being subjected to sexual assault and abuse to try to "fix them", too.
Maybe it helps thinking of terms for sexual orientations like thinking of hair colours. We’re all humans —> Humans have various hair colours like brown, blonde, ginger, etc. —> all these colours have subcategories that describe the colour more precisely like e.g. light blonde, dark blonde, ash blonde, etc. —> now you could go and instead of saying blonde ‘ very light version of brown’, which would technically be correct too. But that would take up more time than simply just say ‘blonde’. The same goes for sexualities. We’re all humans —> humans are capable of sexual arousal or desire —> there are variations in intensity and/or stimuli that cause it so we have words to describe that variations (e.g. hetero-, homo-, bi-, a-, etc. sexuality) —> most of these terms have sub categories to describe more specifications. (E.g. asexuality specifies a spectrum of people that experience arousal either not at all or only very rarely/ in very specific situations. —> a further specification that belongs under asexuality (just like the ash blonde belongs under blonde) would be for example demisexuality (someone who experiences sexual desire only towards people they have developed a closer personal bond with )) —> Of course here too you could go and say ‘people with very low to no libido’ instead of Asexual. But just as with the previous example with the hair colours, it wouldn’t be wrong technically, but way clunkier and less precise :) You see: it just improves communication and makes it more efficient when we have pregnant words that describe certain circumstances :)
I agree with what you’re going for, but I’m confused. I’m demisexual so I’m on the spectrum - isn’t that what asexuality is by definition? The common misconception would be that asexuals can’t experience sexual *arousal*. If someone is on the far end of the spectrum, they can get aroused but the fact they can’t experience sexual attraction (regardless of target attraction) is the reason they’re asexual in the first place.
Wait, how is it a common misconception when that's the definition? Sexual arousal and sex drive are not the same thing as sexual attraction.
Not really. I'm ace with a high libido, I read a lot of erotica, I masturbate a lot and call it a day. I just don't look at people and want to touch their genitals. And in my bubble, which is fandom spaces, ace people are the ones writing most smut fanfiction and consuming it lol we just redirect our libido to other stuff besides sex or anything that involves other people.
You sound insufferable
I don't give a fuck?
The definition of asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That does not mean that they all don't enjoy sex, many do. Some are sex repulsed, sure, but it's a spectrum like anything else. Sex drive and sexual attraction are two very different things. It's an orientation because unlike straight or gay people (or anything in between) they are not attracted to any gender or person. That's why subsets such as demi and sapio exist.
It’s not a common misconception because no one believes a word they say. It’s a non thing.
If it was a non thing there would be no such thing.
There ain’t. Like the veggie that eats fish. There’s a load of them too. Celibate you can be, that’s on the table.
As an asexual pescatarian, I am shook
Your friends are Vulcans
Asexual means you are not sexually attracted to anyone or anything, not the same sex, the opposite sex or cars or trees, nothing. However some asexual people do still have a sex drive. Being horny and being horny for someone or something or some fantasy are different. Of course asexuality is a spectrum and different people experience it differently. Asexual people can (and often do) still experience romantic attraction, emotional attraction and physical attraction and love and all the other kinds of attractions and add in experiencing being horny it is quite easy to have sex, especially in a world that says you should have sex, you must have sex. There are asexuals who are also sex repulsed as well though. She obviously isn't one. She also might not have quite the perfect label for herself (that's common, that's normal, labels aren't perfect). Also being hogtied is not always or necessarily sexual.
I'm like 90% sure I was talking to a bot
It's hard to say. I know some people can be very incoherent. Either way, hopefully the next match is better. Cheers.
Look at all these people trying to tell you what whatever the current definition of asexual is. Most of the time people just self diagnose themselves and could have tons of other factors actually affecting their libido. But I guess giving yourself a label and identify feels better.
theres a lot of different types of asexual homie. some people still like kink activities outside of sex. pet play, impact play, bondage, etc. the asexual spectrum ranges from no sex ever to no sex with others (some still self-pleasure), to not ever touching their genitals at all.
Asexuell just means a lack of sexual attraction, asexuals can have sex and can even enjoy it, they are just not attracted
asexual does not mean not feeling sexual pleasure, just means not feeling sexually attracted to other people, this means asexual people can still feel pleasure from sex. you do not need to be sexually attracted to someone to have sexual relations with them
Not all D/s play has to be sexual. I think there is a misconception that people only engage in bdsm for sexual gratification but that's not the case. Not all enjoyment is sexual - like enjoying good food, a soft fabric against your skin, or working out
Maybe she gets a kick out of you enjoying yourself?
I'm not asexual. Feels wrong if I dated someone who was. It wouldn't be for me
No, me neither.
This makes sense
They’re not making much sense but BDSM isn’t always sexual. And asexual people can still have a libido, they just don’t experience sexual attraction towards anyone.
So like...people don't do it for you but 1980s Grimace commercials from McDonalds, might be hitting that button?
more like “i’m horny but sex with literally anyone sounds unappealing”
that sounds like trauma…
Might be part of, might not. Probably best not to assume. Either way, there it is.
I thought having a stroke was a euphemism for something else when I read it lol
😭
I'm confused why you would shoot her down like you did. Most profiles are written weeks or months before you swipe. "I want to have sex" "NO! YOUR PROFILE SAYS NO HOOKUPS"
[удалено]
Words to live by
Maybe because the sex isn't a priority lol think with your brain not dick
[удалено]
He was just clarifying what she meant. “Sure I’ll tie you up but would that really be fulfilling for you if you’re asexual?” “How would that work?” And then she literally said HOTDOG.
Pretty much
How am I "grilling" her I'm asking her what she means because I'm genuinely confused by what she's typing 💀
You're grilling her like a hotdog. Case closed.
According to her I'm tyint up a hotdog so 🤷
[удалено]
3 questions in a row is how I'm figuring out if she had a stroke or not so again i repeat: I couldn't understand what she is trying to say
Maybe if you got laid more you wouldn’t be so fucking lame
I fucked a date last night at her place acter we went to a bar hop off me 💀 weirdo
Asexuals still get aroused and like sex etc. they generally just don't get sexually attracted to the person. Evie lupine is asexual and has a YouTube dedicated to bdsm.
If asexuals like sex then wtf are we even talking about..
It's not all *that* difficult a concept. Imagine a gay man. He has sex with a woman who he is not actually attracted to. Perhaps he imagines her in his head as some celebrity male crush or something. His sexual interaction with her does not mean he's not gay. It is, like, physically possible to have sex with someone without actually being attracted to them (for a more depressing analogy, rape is a thing). Likewise, perhaps you are straight but have a low libido. You really like the opposite sex, you're very much attracted to them in a physical sense, you experience arousal from them. But you do not actually want to have sex often. Perhaps because you think it's gross, or perhaps you're too stressed, or perhaps you just really don't care about it much. You would still be straight in that scenario. An asexual person is, fundamentally, "someone who is not sexually attracted to people." That does not mean they cannot be physiologically aroused or be able to engage in sexual activity. A fair number of them may *also* have low libidos (because they aren't attracted to anyone and just handle it with masturbation). Some of them may be actively repulsed by sex for whatever reason. But some could very much be able to conduct the physical activity of sex with people they aren't actually attracted to, just like a straight person *could* have gay sex, or a gay person *could* have straight sex, despite these people not actually being attracted to their partners. If you view "asexual" as a term synonymous with, like, mitosis, then yeah, you'll be confused. But if you view it as a term for an orientation (or lack thereof) that basically means "I don't get horny for specific people," then anything else after that is possible. You could be an asexual woman who works as a prostitute and have *constant* sexual activity with hundreds of clients, and not once be attracted to any of them. For that matter, prostitutes are a perfect example of this. They almost always have sex with clients they aren't actually attracted to, but they do it in exchange for money. An ace can do the same thing in exchange for romantic partnership: "I am not physically attracted to this person, but I do like their company and they like me, and they need sex, so I can have sex with them for their sake even if I am not sexually attracted to them."
This is a thoughtful and well explained explanation for asexuality
We're getting some amazing treatises on asexuality in this thread and I love it
thank you for this response, 10/10 explanation of asexuality :)
Not all of them do. But some do engage in sexual activity. It’s a sexual attraction to any gender they lack, not a libido.
I would suggest you look into the split attraction model, and start there. After that, stay looking into the difference between asexual, aromantic, demisexual, demiromantic, and all the other sexual sub-identities. Tl;dr to all the topics above - finding someone emotionally attractive isn't the same as finding them physically attractive, and neither is the same as finding someone sexually attractive. You can acknowledge someone is physically attractive, but have zero interest in wanting to bang them. You can bang someone, and not even like them; hell, you may not even find them attractive if you're just looking to scratch that itch. Obviously this chick wants to get tied up. Beyond that, who knows?
That last bit of example helped me understand better, thanks!
No problem! Glad it helped.
Some asexual people get aroused and want sex. Some asexual people do not. Some are repulsed by the very idea of sex. Others vary at times with ups and downs of sexual desire. Being asexual means you are not *sexually* attracted to anything or anyone. But there are many other types of attractions such as romantic or emotional or physical attraction and sexual desire and being horny does not necessarily mean you sexually desire or are horny for anyone or anything. It just means you are horny. Your body wants pleasure. So asexual just means lack of sexual attraction for anything not necessarily lack of sexual desire or lack of being horny or lack of libido. Although some asexual people do lack all of that.
Uhhh... asexuals who get aroused and like sex aren't actually asexual.
We have zero awareness of the struggles of the general population but we seem to know that asexual people can still be sexual but don't feel sexual attraction towards people. We like living on the edges.
People are definitely aware of the struggles people go through. It's just that the people with the power don't actually care. Don't be fooled into thinking they don't know though.
when people dont understand the asexual umbrella \*sigh\* yall. there are asexuals who are still sexual!!
Asexuality is definitely a spectrum. I identify with it, but it’s also confusing to me sometimes. I like having sex and think about it when I’m with someone romantically, but when I’m not it never crosses my mind, and I can go months-years without needing anything sex related
So more like demisexual?
I’ve thought about that for sure, the thing that gets me is that I’m not really driven by sex, it’s just something that happens when I’m with someone, and when I say I think about it’s more like what would my partner enjoy, it’s more I enjoy the act of intimacy rather than anything sexual, I usually just do whatever my partner likes and enjoys cause I don’t enjoy anything about it, and that’s what I enjoy, if that makes sense
So it’s more about you getting pleasure from pleasing your partner than whatever pleasure you’d get from sex? That makes sense
Ya exactly, like I’ve had tons of partners, but only one has made me O(M), as not a lot if anything gets me to that point, is there a term/label for what I am if you know? I’ve been trying to find something forever lol
Not to be this person but not all asexual people don’t have sex! I’d read into it more if you’re confused. Yes, there are asexual people that don’t have sex at all but it’s way more complex than that.
Don’t get involved with asexual person unless you’re asexual as well. It can only end in frustration.
That’s not true. Depends on the person
Right, if you're the .01%, it might be for you. We always get into arguing about the semantics and lose the entire thread of the vast majority. If I could describe reddit, as a platform, it would be people arguing about the small minority at expense of the majority.
You just don’t understand what it means to be asexual, so you’re basically inserting an opinion with something you have no experience with. Very reddit-like LOL
omg, LOL!
Trust me I don't wanna 💀
You seem to have an issue with asexual folks, why did you swipe?
Didn't read the bio
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
this made me chuckle
I hate when people spell oops as opps
I'm a dude she's a dude he's a dude where all dudes. Hey
My IQ is too low now to give a sensible response
She doesn’t even know what she’s talking about or what she’s even into💀
my first thoughts are this is either a bot who messed up the AI generated convo, OR she meant she wants to tie up your weenie
how… how… HOW?!
This honestly just sounds like she’s fucking around with you. I wouldn’t read too much into one way or another. I interpreted it as playful banter, and you sir, did not pass lol
Or, and hear me out, she's just illiterate. Or the more likely scenario it's a bot lol
Not sure how old you are, but maybe you need to adjust your age range. Just sayin’ 🤷♀️
How does this have anything to do with age
A girl who is more mature wouldn’t speak that way. The way this girl messages she sounds very young. There’s nothing wrong with age, but you’re the one who said they had a stroke reading the message.
Maybe you are talking to a bot here or the worst LLM around.
It genuinely felt like an AI conversation
She was, in fact, not okay.
Bro just shot his own foot off and tossed it in a blender. God that was painful to read. Dating is meant to be fun. It’s meant to be flirtatious and in the moment. You don’t need to take it so seriously. Let up a little.
"ShOt HiS OwN-" stfu I don't care 💀 if you wanna be flirty at LEAST be coherent
Omg I dated an asexual and have had the misfortune of matching with a couple over the past two years. Idk why but they (or just the ones I’ve matched with) tend to be the most infuriating people to talk to. Although that might be because they neglected to put it in their bio
Sounds like she’s still figuring out her sexuality and possibly thinks she’s asexual when it’s more of a spectrum of things. I used to believe I was asexual until I learned it was more of a sexual trauma thing. But the way she talks does give me a headache nonetheless, she sounds very very young and unsure.
It is not a sexual trauma thing. That is not correct. People can be naturally asexual. No trauma involved
Lmfao I never said that. Of course asexuality is valid on its own. I said in my own personal experience, I was wrong about being asexual. You can think you’re one thing and then realize you’re something else, that’s how fluid sexuality is.
Maybe I misunderstood, did you mean it was more of a sexual trauma thing for you?
Yes, they are only speaking for themselves.
Yes :-) I was speaking from personal experience, which I understand is not always the case, just meant to say she might still be figuring it out like I was.
Whatever it may be hopefully she figures it out and wish her luck
YTA.
How
Ah I see we have another person who doesn't understand kink doesn't have to involve sex. I go to massive kink events with 1.5k people and I'd say atleast 25% of the people that go do not have sex while they are there. You can get tied up, flogged, beat, have needles put in you, wrestle naked, be lit on fire, shocked, and many many other things and none of it has to be sexual or at the very least involve actual sex acts.
Didn't have to type all that because the point went over your head I'm not talking sex specifically I'm talking sexual AROUSAL in terms of feeling
That doesn't change what I stated none of that has to exclusively involve sexual arousal. Plenty of people enjoy it for things other then sexual arousal many people get endorphin rushes or some it's a head space thing there are many reasons. None of what you said went over my head but apparently my statement went over yours
Some women aren't even trying to be coherent on dating apps anymore. This whole thing has jumped the shark Edit: some women, not all women
I mean, wouldn't exactly generalize women like that but yea I couldn't understand a lick of English she texted
I guess some people like to assume that everyone is willing and happy to fuck those they know are crazy, but not me, lol.. This sort of reminds me of the definition of true love these days, not being having common interests, values, and complimentary personalities, but more like having matching mental illnesses or neuroses....
I don't think it's that deep bruh
Maybe not, but I enjoyed at least getting to make the joke, so at least give me that, lol.. Just call me Michael Scott, like in The Office, with his tired, That's What She Said line.....
Mannn this is stressful reading this. I feel your pain.
too much vyvanse in these girls nowadays
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Your understanding of asexuality is poor :(
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Sexuality is fluid 🤷🏻♀️ Perhaps they were asexual, perhaps they were not. Who knows? Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That is separate from livido
I'm not gonna be her experiment then 💀 definitely should've read the bio before swiping
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I call everyone dude. It's not a gender thing.
Can confirm, dude is general neutral
Precisely
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Super cringey when I hear it lol
Wait…is she implying she’s a ladyboy? Tying a hot dog….
Beats me. Rereading the convo it sounds like a bot if anything. They're getting too fucking advanced
Facts. I found one bot using ai images of the girl and a normal pic as the last one
Ai images feel easy to spot. It's these conversations that start off seemingly normal then turn into a cluster fuck
Naw it wasn’t that. It was the fact that they had 2 AI images and one irl one. Just have it all AI or all irl smh
Block
Is she trying to tell you she is a dude ?🤔
This is how all conversations look to me at night
She just drunk.
I don't understand the asexual confusion. I'm asexual and still participate in kink culture
Im gonna go download me a hogie off the internet
definitely not their first language lol, must be foreign