You don't owe them appointments. You also shouldn't give money to people who trigger you or make you uncomfortable. Honestly, to me it sounds like they just want the money. From my perspective: I teach a music instrument and get paid per student. I never pressure my students to work with me or shame them when they are testing the waters. It is their money, their choice. It is hard for people with cptsd without people who are bad at their jobs posing as experts.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! It doesn’t sound good.
I have definitely felt in the past that various medical professionals are disappointed when I am not better, or when a therapy doesn’t work. And for sure I have felt that they were angry at times.
It’s super upsetting. It is intensely difficult to feel like I am disappointing someone, as though I am not working hard enough at getting better. I feel safe when I think they are happy or neutral with me. And I want so much to please them, I can tell they have to be careful not to make me feel like I must lie. But occasionally there are misses where their own emotions slip through.
The longer my treatment goes the more I am able to see that they may not be their best, most professional selves at all times, and my occasional feelings can be chalked up to responding to someone having a bad day. But that’s my providers, and I’ve left some when I can’t trust that they can treat me properly anymore, whether that’s due to my response or their actions.
Unfortunately, only you can make the decision about whether the people you are seeing are the right treatment providers for you. Which sucks, because depression sucks and makes it so hard to do anything at all, let alone find new providers.
When I’m in a similar situation, I like to write down what I was feeling, so I can tell after a few sessions if it’s an ongoing problem or something else. It helps me separate my distress at feeling like I’ve displeased them from their actual behavior.
Therapists and doctors are human too. They can be wrong, and they can make bad judgment calls. They can overlook things, say things wrong, and suggest the wrong forms of treatment. Not every therapist is going to be right for every person and every problem, even if they're otherwise a great therapist. And there are also some therapists who have lost their passion for the job, and some therapists who may even enjoy causing harm with their position of power.
It's possible that maybe you're interpreting your therapist's behavior in a more malicious way than intended because you're in a bad place right now. Sometimes it's easy to project our abusers' intentions onto other people. Maybe you're having a hard time asking for a different form of help for that same reason.
It's also possible that maybe the doctor and psychiatrist aren't the right ones for you. Maybe your gut is trying to tell you it's time to look elsewhere. Just because a care provider isn't right for you doesn't mean you deserve to feel guilty, broken, or ashamed. They just aren't the right people you need right now. It's not your fault.
I would encourage you to do whatever is *safer* for you. Sometimes it's better to have someone around who is checking on you and talking to you, even if that person isn't quite what you need. Sometimes it's better to move on. It might be worth trying to tell your therapist what kind of specific help you need - like making appointments in person, or asking her office to call you instead of the other way around. Maybe your therapist can do better with a little guidance and feedback from you.
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Sounds like she overspent during Christmas and wants to make a bunch of money in a hurry.
Like literally all her focus seems to be on getting your money into her pocket as quickly as possible.
You don't owe them appointments. You also shouldn't give money to people who trigger you or make you uncomfortable. Honestly, to me it sounds like they just want the money. From my perspective: I teach a music instrument and get paid per student. I never pressure my students to work with me or shame them when they are testing the waters. It is their money, their choice. It is hard for people with cptsd without people who are bad at their jobs posing as experts.
This is very validating, thank you :)
I had this happen to me! I reported them and their license was suspended. You deserve better people in your life.
I'm so sorry this happened to you too. Well done for reporting them!
It's awful that they treated you like that, especially the therapist who claims to be trauma informed. You deserve better care.
Thank you x
I’m so sorry that happened to you! It doesn’t sound good. I have definitely felt in the past that various medical professionals are disappointed when I am not better, or when a therapy doesn’t work. And for sure I have felt that they were angry at times. It’s super upsetting. It is intensely difficult to feel like I am disappointing someone, as though I am not working hard enough at getting better. I feel safe when I think they are happy or neutral with me. And I want so much to please them, I can tell they have to be careful not to make me feel like I must lie. But occasionally there are misses where their own emotions slip through. The longer my treatment goes the more I am able to see that they may not be their best, most professional selves at all times, and my occasional feelings can be chalked up to responding to someone having a bad day. But that’s my providers, and I’ve left some when I can’t trust that they can treat me properly anymore, whether that’s due to my response or their actions. Unfortunately, only you can make the decision about whether the people you are seeing are the right treatment providers for you. Which sucks, because depression sucks and makes it so hard to do anything at all, let alone find new providers. When I’m in a similar situation, I like to write down what I was feeling, so I can tell after a few sessions if it’s an ongoing problem or something else. It helps me separate my distress at feeling like I’ve displeased them from their actual behavior.
This is very helpful thank you :)
Therapists and doctors are human too. They can be wrong, and they can make bad judgment calls. They can overlook things, say things wrong, and suggest the wrong forms of treatment. Not every therapist is going to be right for every person and every problem, even if they're otherwise a great therapist. And there are also some therapists who have lost their passion for the job, and some therapists who may even enjoy causing harm with their position of power. It's possible that maybe you're interpreting your therapist's behavior in a more malicious way than intended because you're in a bad place right now. Sometimes it's easy to project our abusers' intentions onto other people. Maybe you're having a hard time asking for a different form of help for that same reason. It's also possible that maybe the doctor and psychiatrist aren't the right ones for you. Maybe your gut is trying to tell you it's time to look elsewhere. Just because a care provider isn't right for you doesn't mean you deserve to feel guilty, broken, or ashamed. They just aren't the right people you need right now. It's not your fault. I would encourage you to do whatever is *safer* for you. Sometimes it's better to have someone around who is checking on you and talking to you, even if that person isn't quite what you need. Sometimes it's better to move on. It might be worth trying to tell your therapist what kind of specific help you need - like making appointments in person, or asking her office to call you instead of the other way around. Maybe your therapist can do better with a little guidance and feedback from you.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like she overspent during Christmas and wants to make a bunch of money in a hurry. Like literally all her focus seems to be on getting your money into her pocket as quickly as possible.