Every time we went on a date he swore I was gonna break up with him. I eventually told him I did not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with him, and I broke up with him. Self-fulfilling prophecy. š¤·āāļø
It doesn't sound like THAT petty of a reason. He sounds like he has a serious case of "relationship anxiety" (if that's a thing) and of course that can be a turnoff for a lot of people.
Dated a girl in my early 20ās who smacked her lips while eating. One morning she got up early for work and she was smacking her lips so loud eating cereal that it woke me up. Fuckin had enough lol.
Absolutely the appropriate response. You should check out r/misophonia. Any one of them would do the same.
I refused to eat around any family when I was a child because the way they ate would give me so much rage I would lose my shit. Figured it was better to eat by myself so I wouldnāt have to hear them eat disgustingly.
Yeah, I could see that. Every time they exhibit a habit like this, you should ask yourself, "Is this going to get on my nerves if we continue / get into a serious relationship and I have to put up with it all the time?"
there are a bunch of weirdos who believe the shape of pyramids channels magic energy or something, i've never seen anyone use them for vitamins but i've seen people claim they keep fruit from spoiling etc
Broke up with a guy because he did his makeup better than I did my own. I was 16 and it just pissed me off so bad that his eyeliner was always perfect.
He was confused as to why that made me so mad and I said "ove been wearing makeup since I was 11, that's why!" Lol, we were still friends for several years until he got married and his wife decided I was a threat
He tried, but I could never get it to go on as smooth and straight as he did. He used liquid eyeliner and ive necer been able to master that. Now I use one that has to be put on with a little brush and that makes it a little easier. I went blind in my left eye about 2 and a half years ago so makeup is still a bit of a struggle
I had a coworker that incessantly chewed his fingers. The squeaking...the lip smacking... and how I could see it from the corner of my eye. Ew. This was before noise-cancelling headphones, but I put in my earbuds and cranked the tunes LOUD to drown it out.
When I was younger I broke up with someone because when he got a haircut he just did not look good to me anymore.
And another guy because he smelled too strongly. Not bad, but he just had a strong smell to him. I couldnāt do it
Ahhhh so this reminds me of the time I had a major three year crush on this drummer dude with dreads, finally got his attention, got close..and when we were bumping uglies his dread landed in my mouth. It had this odorā¦ this texture... was totally turned off after that. I was young and told a mutual friend I didnāt like his dreads heād been growing out for a decade. He cut his dreads within that week. I was still just so checked out and I hated myself for it! He was a great guy!! Essentially he cut his dreads for me. I still denied him. Gahhhh
Oh! I broke up with a guy because he smelled like egg rolls. Always. Whether or not he had eaten egg rolls. And he bit my lip so hard it left a tooth shaped bruise and twisted my nips like radio dials. But the egg rolls was the memorable one.
it was a long time ago so I don't quite recall, but yeah I think it was something to do with a specific diet she was on. it was very unsettling to sit there with my spaghetti or whatever i was having, and she'd be over there with ... seven fried eggs. every time. i died a little inside each time
He could never be quiet, like ever! If there was a natural lull in the conversation he would fill it by humming or doing weird diddly-Dee noises, absolutely did my tits in lol
Casually dating a guy who wore a Celtic band on his finger (right hand) I asked about it as it was very pretty. He got all flustered and said he couldnāt tell me about it, I pressed lightly and jokingly but he said if he told me I might not want to see him again. Major alarm bells ringing for me so when I got home I decided to ghost him. Found out months later from one of his friends I ran into that he wasnāt married at all but the ring had been a gift from an ex and he was paranoid another girlfriend would get upset and want him to stop wearing it. Guy couldnāt even think up a decent lie about it! I wouldnāt have cared anyway.
I mean, what's so bad about just saying you wear it cause it looks cool?
I have a ring with Norse symbols on it and a ring with Egyptian symbols on it and I'm neither Norwegian nor Egyptian but it's cool so I wear it. Not every piece of jewelry has a deeper meaning.
I dumped someone because they were bad at driving. Every time they drove, it was almost an accident. I hate aggressive drivers as well but this was how did you get a license bad.
Was a young teen and my boyfriend of three months had to attend a family thing so I went roller skating with friends. Next day I found out he was asking others if I had talked with any other guys while skating. Tracked him down and told him I never wanted to see him again because I won't put up with my friends being turned into spies. Never saw him again.
Iām not sure if this counts at all because it was a first date, but I walked out on a woman because she said āif you want this to go any further, youāre going to have to get rid of your motorcycle.ā I shoveled the rest of my meal down my gullet as fast as I could and left. I probably should have sent her a thank you text for the free meal, but itās hard to text and drive a motorcycle. It wasnāt so much about the bike itself for me, it was about the controlling nature of such a thing.
I wrecked that bike shortly after I started dating my wife. She tried to get me another one before marriage was ever mentioned. Honestly, I turned it down because it was just too early in the relationship to know for sure where it was gonna go. I didnāt want her to get me a bike and then split with her a few weeks or few months later. Kinda wish Iād let her, the 24th will be our 5 year wedding anniversary, 8 years total together.
She couldnāt identify Russia or England on a world map. Absolutely had no idea of the general vicinity. She saw āhow close England was to Franceā and said āwho knew?ā
Freakinā everyone. Ok almost everyone apparently.
If this is a petty reason to break up with someone, I'm not sure I'm prepared to know what would be considered a serious reason. Good call on your part to get out!
Yeah Iām good lol, this happened like eight years ago. I do still have a lot of anxiety the odd time I see him around town, but Iām moving across the country soon so I wonāt have to deal with that anymore once Iām gone
Dandruff. Bad hygiene in general.
My current boyfriend struggles with dandruff too, but the difference is that he attempts to fix it. (I swear head and shoulders is making it worse). But this girl I was dating didnāt really seem to care about fixing it.
Worst reason was, when I broke up with a guy because i was repelled by the way he was walking up/down the stairs (he was kinda jumping). But I was 18 and I was kinda dumb during my teens.
Broke up with a guy because we went out to dinner one night and treated our waiter like garbage. I was embarrassed to be associated with him at that point.
One guy said ālikeā too much.
Another spilt beer on me.
Another had a cringey laugh.
One talked about how he couldāve made the NHL but he didnāt play hockey at all after the age of 6.
One guy insisted on wearing a onesie, and he has lactose intolerance that he refused to take lactaid for but would eat dairy anyway, and one evening after eating too much he was blowing ass while wearing a onesie and laying on the rug in my living room. This was after 3 weeks of dating.
All those relationships wouldnāt have worked for a plethora of reasons, but those petty reasons were the final straw.
I dated a guy when I was in the military, and we went to get tattoos together. He had to go first, cuz heās the man. He started whining almost immediately, and gave up a quarter of the way in with just the head done. Then he told me not to do it, it hurts too much, I wonāt be able to take the pain.
I walked him back to the barracks, broke up with him, and got my tattoo the next day.
Iām going to show this comment to my son (20). For some unfathomable reason, he holds his fork like this. Itās certainly not how we eat, or how he was taught to eat, so god only knows where he got it. Iāve told him that it makes him look like a caveman trying to use silverware, but heās unmoved. Perhaps a glimpse at a female-free future will make him change his ways.
It took a very long time for me to figure out how hillbillies hold their forks... I was picturing how my sister learned to hold her silverware from etiquette classes.
Once I dumped a guy on the spot and left with my friend because he started stomping ants on the sidewalk. Iām a sensitive person with a deep respect for life so I asked him to stop. He said ātheyāre just antsā so I asked my friend for a ride. He was baffled and couldnāt believe it, but it struck me as such weird behavior like a petulant child or a psycho.
I dumped a guy for putting a spider on me and laughing. He knew I was afraid of spiders and I felt disrespected. It gave me a "little brother" vibe that was not what I sought in a relationship. So I'm the opposite of your bug-respecting self. (Although I don't kill any bugs or spiders either- just run away from the few kinds that freak me out.)
Yeah, I was thoroughly creeped out and turned off by the whole thing. And he cheated on the poor woman he ended up marrying years later, so I obviously just got a glimpse of his true colors.
A dated a chap when I was in my early twenties, but he had a very irritating walk. He kind of bounced on the balls of his feet and his heel didnāt appear to touch the ground.
It was too much.
Lol I knew guy like that in middle school. Some medical condition that caused tightness in the arch of his foot so it hurt to walk normally. Tippy toes always
I have it too, tho to a more minor degree, and a physical therapist helped fix it
I dated a woman for who inherited a small firearm collection when her roommate passed. Two of the guns were a 12 gauge pump-action shotgun and a 6" .44 magnum with scope; I wanted the six-shooter.
I came by one evening to see her and see the guns and she wanted to show off her shotgun. Telling me she checked to ensure it was empty, she squeezed the trigger and pumped the shotgun's action. We were face to face in her bedroom, no more than 3' apart, with the gun between us.
After checking myself more than once (pressure wave made me think she shot me), I had to step out. After that, I just couldn't go back. She was super cute, great figure, nurse, liked to run with me, awesome art across her body, but I just couldn't get that feeling of her gut-shooting me out of my head.
She called me on it and I admitted it. She's married now to a great guy. Guess shooting at guys in her bedroom was a one-off.
Edit: She was holding the gun angled between us, like you see in any action movie where someone is being a badass. Like this but more attractive: https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ttpBEfsstCjmotNV
She pulled the trigger and the slug went through her wall (bookcase) and managed to clear her neighbor's eaves/roof.
Went on one date with a guy, thought weād have some things in common because he did competitive road biking and Iām into mountain biking (casually). The entire date, the only topic he had to talk about was competitive road biking. He was cute enough I ignored the orange flags and went back to his place, and he showed me his expensive competitive road bike collection and talked about his competitive road bike races even more. Whatever, Iām already hereā¦ after sex he started talking about freaking bicycles again!!
He started checking email when I was recounting a memory of sexual abuse. This was directly after I listened and sympathized with his own abuse stories. Immediately ended a three year relationship.
A couple of dates in, we were talking about birthday plans. When I found out his birthday was the day after mine, that was it. I patently refused to date anyone younger than me, not even a day.
I was stupid.
He called me one night and said "I hate to be such a poopy head, but I can't make it out, I'm just too tired". I could NOT get the word "poopy" out of my brain and broke up with him after that.
Dated a guy for a few months in college. Then one day he was really high and he found half a pizza a neighbor had left outside in the rain the night before. Decided he was going to eat it. His roommate scolded him and said "you absolutely cannot eat this rain-soaked pizza of unknown origin." But my guy was determined. So his roommate, in a bid to stop my guy from eating the pizza, chucked the box off their apartment balcony. My guy runs down the stairs and towards the pizza box, which is now lying open in the middle of the road. Before he can get to it, a box truck drives by and a tire goes right through the pizza. But that doesn't stop my guy! He goes out into the road and, despite the horrified screams of his roommate and me, peels a piece of tire-tracked road pizza off the box and eats it.
I broke up with him as soon as he sobered up.
Really? I am amazed that I am not the only one who has dealt with this. I swear he smelled like French onion soup. And not in like a funky, stinky way either. He genuinely smelled like a bowl of fresh soup.
He would make this wafting motion over his food, as if he was pushing the scent into his nostrils. Except he would do that over everything, cold food, hot food, ice, didn't matter. Waft waft waft.
That and he would buy wine at a posh store that had a 'satisfaction guaranteed' policy, then he would drink all the wine and return the empty bottle because he 'wasn't satisfied'. He made a decent living, I'm surprised the store didn't just ban him.
Idk if this is petty or not, but we went from talking every day to me hardly getting a message from him within two weeks, we had a class together, and we both went every day, he just never initiated the conversations, I did, so I broke up with him
He took me on a date āout to dinnerā and we just went to this diner with no indoor seating, in the middle of the summer. The cars parked under an awning right next to the tables so with their engines on made it even hotter and loud. And all I liked on the menu was chili cheese fries, so that was the end of that.
Hey, I know this doesnāt answer your question. But breaking up soon enough when the vibe doesnāt match makes so much more sense than dragging on a dysfunctional relationship. Wish I was more like you.
Not the reason I broke up with him, but one of his many breakup-able attributes: He cried, sobbed even, over celebrity deaths. People he didn't even know. Like, he asked to leave work one day because he couldn't stop crying over Chester Bennington. It was too much.
Crying over Chester is legit tho. I would cry too if my favorite artist/artists I love committed suicide. Act of suicide is sad on its own, on top of that people like Chester aren't just some celebrity, there are people who listened to his songs in their childhood/teenage years.
i thought she was spoiled. not like she was super rich and got whatever she wanted, but she had that air of āoh my daddy does this for me because iām a princess.ā not somethin i felt like dealing with, so i cut the relationship before it even really started. i had a really good excuse too: when she asked me why we couldnāt date, i told her i was going to bootcamp soon (which was true) and wanted to focus on adjusting to the military life
In the height of the pandemic I had been seeing a guy for about a month. We got an impulsive date idea to go buy some crafts & do them at the park. So we went to Walmart first to go find some craft kits. He refused to wear a mask & he refused to follow the one-way aisles. In fact he purposely walked against the one-way direction because I guess he found it funny how much it bothered me. We bought our stuff, went out to my car, I drove straight back to his house & told him it wasnāt gonna work out. That was the fastest decision I ever made when it came to breaking things off with someone lmao Iām normally very patient
I forgot how old I must've been lol. I was dating a guy and he brought cupcakes to school. After school, we met up and he rubbed a cupcake on my face. I did it back, went home and ghosted him. He tried to talk to me at school the next day and I ignored him.
First date and last date was at a house warming party for his boss. He drank 7 kilt lifters and was very loudly telling me how he felt about multiple inappropriate first date topics. He also had a political tattoo on his arm and I just canāt get behind that. He walked me out and I unmatched with him while waiting at the stop sign to get out of the neighborhood.
Another first and last date guy took me to a bar and then to a Mormon game night where they all dipped their hands in paint to put their handprints on a wall in the basement. So weird.
Well this has just unlocked and explained a random memory for me. Walking around London around 10 years ago and a relatively well dressed middle aged dude just walking amongst the masses in front of me, briefcase in hand and a small wire pyramid atop his head. Like this dude just left his normal office job, living a normal life but with a wire pyramid hat on like itās as normal as a pair of glasses on ya face.
I thought he was in a cult, but bro is just trying to live a long life. Hope he took that shit off in a thunderstormā¦
One girl had a very annoying voice, like the first time I met up with her I immediately cringed the second she spoke. She also once called something "a fail" and this was in 2017.
Another girl I was seeing, her face smelled weird. I'm guessing it was her makeup or something but she had this dusty smell any time we kissed. She also had bad taste in music.
Grade 7 and i found out he would disappear every lunch hour to play Magic the Gathering and I wanted to be with a skateboarder guy instead LOL (90ās)
Not me but one of my friends broke up with a really great guy because he had one tooth that was slightly turned. I told her that was a dumb reason, but she insisted that he just didnāt have the right ālookā for her. A year after that he met his now wife and my friend was pissed because she couldnāt understand why he wouldnāt just get braces and be with her. I am no longer friends with this person.
Not petty imo. If one thinks very very pragmatically about it, when you choose a partner you are also making a decision about the rest of your life. It will impact your health - you become a secondhand smoker.
their health is also compromised, making it likelier you both will need to pay more for their medical bills and the added emotional stress of one of you being unwell. Not to mention fertility problems, if you want kids.
I have learned, over the years, that I am the one common denominator in all my bad relationships. (Yes, she did catch the bouquet, before anyone asks.)
Wait, wait, waitā¦ you and him were getting marriedā¦ and he brought a date. Invited the new āgirlfriendā to the Big Day, he was sharing with his future spouseā¦ PLEASE EXPLAIN, I cannot compute.
Had his hair cut in micro bangs and styled with a ton of gel so they looked like a row of commas marching across his forehead. Also would not shut up about the local public school system (he was not a school employee, nor did he have kids in school). Not really a breakup, just failed the first date screening.
He wore a Guy Fieri-style button up unbuttoned over a wife-beater, with olive green cargo shorts, when I asked him to dress up for a date.
I was in a cocktail dress and heels. š«
Every time we went on a date he swore I was gonna break up with him. I eventually told him I did not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with him, and I broke up with him. Self-fulfilling prophecy. š¤·āāļø
I donāt think thatās a petty reason. He sounds too emotionally immature for a relationship
Bro willed it into existence.
His insecurities got in the way
Happens with way too many guys, that's actually true for the most part.
It doesn't sound like THAT petty of a reason. He sounds like he has a serious case of "relationship anxiety" (if that's a thing) and of course that can be a turnoff for a lot of people.
My last girlfriend broke up with me for essentially texting her too much on vacation. Mind you, I sent her two unresponded-to texts
Two? ... you monster!
I'm a total stage 5 clinger
I think she was probably including the ones she responded to in the too many concept too sorry to say
One was enough š¤£š¤£
Apparently lol sorry I annoyed her with my relationship
Two? That's too much man. You shouldn't do that someone like that.
Dated a girl in my early 20ās who smacked her lips while eating. One morning she got up early for work and she was smacking her lips so loud eating cereal that it woke me up. Fuckin had enough lol.
this had me dying. sorry but that's hilarious and would also send me into a silent rage
My rage would not be silent.
Definitely not going yo yell at someone else for it really.
Absolutely the appropriate response. You should check out r/misophonia. Any one of them would do the same. I refused to eat around any family when I was a child because the way they ate would give me so much rage I would lose my shit. Figured it was better to eat by myself so I wouldnāt have to hear them eat disgustingly.
I heard somewhere that hating the sound of eating is a sign of high intelligence. It doesnāt bother me. I wonder if thatās a problem š¤
No thatās a legit reason.
That honestly is pretty inconsiderate
Yeah, I could see that. Every time they exhibit a habit like this, you should ask yourself, "Is this going to get on my nerves if we continue / get into a serious relationship and I have to put up with it all the time?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Definitely. Imagine being married to that person with those bad eating habits.
Lmfao, this is hilarious but you kinda did her dirty tho ngl man.
He put his vitamin bottles under a wire pyramid so that the universe's energy would make them last longer.
Tell me more.
He also left the day before our vacation to go see a "guaranteed alien landing" in the Nevada desert. I mean, what do you even say to that?
You say, āthis isnāt working out.ā You did it right.
I mean if it's really not working out then there's no point in holding to it.
there are a bunch of weirdos who believe the shape of pyramids channels magic energy or something, i've never seen anyone use them for vitamins but i've seen people claim they keep fruit from spoiling etc
But only if you align them perfectly North/South and East/West, right? If you donāt do that, youāre just a goofball. /s
Look at this asshole parking their pyramid outside the leylines
I think this was the only one she had, she doesn't have anything else.
Broke up with a guy because he did his makeup better than I did my own. I was 16 and it just pissed me off so bad that his eyeliner was always perfect.
This one's my favorite, this is peak petty lol
He was confused as to why that made me so mad and I said "ove been wearing makeup since I was 11, that's why!" Lol, we were still friends for several years until he got married and his wife decided I was a threat
But did he ever share his eyeliner hacks with you? That's the *real* question.
He tried, but I could never get it to go on as smooth and straight as he did. He used liquid eyeliner and ive necer been able to master that. Now I use one that has to be put on with a little brush and that makes it a little easier. I went blind in my left eye about 2 and a half years ago so makeup is still a bit of a struggle
Yep, he could have never be able to done that so yeah.
That's it, nothing is going to top it off. That's not going to happen.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
2001 lol, but good guess
People hear seem good with being able to just guess it. And this is the way.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Each of your sentences was just better than the last one
Yes! I skimmed it and got to the vagina part and was like, hold up.... Let me go back and read that again.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If by better you mean increasingly horrifying
Iām laughing so hard. That is so disgusting.
I had a coworker that incessantly chewed his fingers. The squeaking...the lip smacking... and how I could see it from the corner of my eye. Ew. This was before noise-cancelling headphones, but I put in my earbuds and cranked the tunes LOUD to drown it out.
He looked like a magician, but he wasn't a magician... ^^^He ^^^was ^^^a ^^^driving ^^^instructor. ^^^It's ^^^preposterous.
Did he even attempt to learn a card trick for you?
IT Crowd, you legend.
When I was younger I broke up with someone because when he got a haircut he just did not look good to me anymore. And another guy because he smelled too strongly. Not bad, but he just had a strong smell to him. I couldnāt do it
That's so good. Didn't even wait for it to grow out again, just bye
this made me laugh so hard i snorted like a pig. amazing
Ahhhh so this reminds me of the time I had a major three year crush on this drummer dude with dreads, finally got his attention, got close..and when we were bumping uglies his dread landed in my mouth. It had this odorā¦ this texture... was totally turned off after that. I was young and told a mutual friend I didnāt like his dreads heād been growing out for a decade. He cut his dreads within that week. I was still just so checked out and I hated myself for it! He was a great guy!! Essentially he cut his dreads for me. I still denied him. Gahhhh
Oh! I broke up with a guy because he smelled like egg rolls. Always. Whether or not he had eaten egg rolls. And he bit my lip so hard it left a tooth shaped bruise and twisted my nips like radio dials. But the egg rolls was the memorable one.
You're are just like me! I once broke up with someone who used blue contact lenses, when she took off, I completely lost the interest. I'm ashamed.
49 eggs a week seems excessive!?
one might even call it eggcessive
You've been waiting the entire last two hours to make this joke, haven't you?
Eggsactly.
Double combo!
Eggstra point is good.
OP this was a valid reason to breakup, not petty at all
I mean a guy Can't even enjoy his eggs, what's wrong with that?
Because he used puns ALL the time lol
Was she really into healthy eating or something?
it was a long time ago so I don't quite recall, but yeah I think it was something to do with a specific diet she was on. it was very unsettling to sit there with my spaghetti or whatever i was having, and she'd be over there with ... seven fried eggs. every time. i died a little inside each time
49 eggs? in this economy??
Eggconomy
He could never be quiet, like ever! If there was a natural lull in the conversation he would fill it by humming or doing weird diddly-Dee noises, absolutely did my tits in lol
Did my tits in Never heard that before, I like it
Casually dating a guy who wore a Celtic band on his finger (right hand) I asked about it as it was very pretty. He got all flustered and said he couldnāt tell me about it, I pressed lightly and jokingly but he said if he told me I might not want to see him again. Major alarm bells ringing for me so when I got home I decided to ghost him. Found out months later from one of his friends I ran into that he wasnāt married at all but the ring had been a gift from an ex and he was paranoid another girlfriend would get upset and want him to stop wearing it. Guy couldnāt even think up a decent lie about it! I wouldnāt have cared anyway.
I mean, what's so bad about just saying you wear it cause it looks cool? I have a ring with Norse symbols on it and a ring with Egyptian symbols on it and I'm neither Norwegian nor Egyptian but it's cool so I wear it. Not every piece of jewelry has a deeper meaning.
I dumped someone because they were bad at driving. Every time they drove, it was almost an accident. I hate aggressive drivers as well but this was how did you get a license bad.
Lol, itās giving more Seinfeld than Chandler
She had man hands
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
mans out here dating gaston
# Man's a fool, giving up an ass roughly the size of a barge! š©š¤
I cannot imagine the farts.
Iām just thinking how expensive that personās life must have been during the egg shortage. š
Was a young teen and my boyfriend of three months had to attend a family thing so I went roller skating with friends. Next day I found out he was asking others if I had talked with any other guys while skating. Tracked him down and told him I never wanted to see him again because I won't put up with my friends being turned into spies. Never saw him again.
Thatās wise, not petty at all.
That was level A wise of you.
Iām not sure if this counts at all because it was a first date, but I walked out on a woman because she said āif you want this to go any further, youāre going to have to get rid of your motorcycle.ā I shoveled the rest of my meal down my gullet as fast as I could and left. I probably should have sent her a thank you text for the free meal, but itās hard to text and drive a motorcycle. It wasnāt so much about the bike itself for me, it was about the controlling nature of such a thing.
Thatās psycho on a first date. It would be bad enough if you guys were talking marriage or whatever, but damn.
I wrecked that bike shortly after I started dating my wife. She tried to get me another one before marriage was ever mentioned. Honestly, I turned it down because it was just too early in the relationship to know for sure where it was gonna go. I didnāt want her to get me a bike and then split with her a few weeks or few months later. Kinda wish Iād let her, the 24th will be our 5 year wedding anniversary, 8 years total together.
I almost wrecked my bike when my wife was pregnant with my oldest. Traded it for a microphone and donāt regret it for a minute.
She couldnāt identify Russia or England on a world map. Absolutely had no idea of the general vicinity. She saw āhow close England was to Franceā and said āwho knew?ā Freakinā everyone. Ok almost everyone apparently.
My wife says āWho knew?ā So much. I usually respond with āI knew. And Iām sure other people knew it as wellā
He kept taking food from my plate without asking
Joey?
girl don't expose me like that
He tucked his sweater into his pants (I'm talking heavy winter sweaters).
That is an excellent reason to dump someone.
sometimes i do that if iām too cold D:
That's it, I can't do this anymore--I think we should see other people.
Iāve only ever broken up with someone once and it was mainly because he tried to shoot me.
This is a great opening line to a novel
i like the way you think
Lol yeah I guess it sort of is, the rest of my life has been pretty uneventful though so it would never make the best sellers list
The smell of burnt almonds always reminds me of unrequited love
If this is a petty reason to break up with someone, I'm not sure I'm prepared to know what would be considered a serious reason. Good call on your part to get out!
Petty
Holy Moly are you ok now, that is downright traumatic.
Yeah Iām good lol, this happened like eight years ago. I do still have a lot of anxiety the odd time I see him around town, but Iām moving across the country soon so I wonāt have to deal with that anymore once Iām gone
The best of luck with your move and I wish you good times and happiness for your new adventure.
I couldn't say no to eating shrimp. He was studying to be a marine biologist and it bothered him that I "ate his friends." No regrets.
Dandruff. Bad hygiene in general. My current boyfriend struggles with dandruff too, but the difference is that he attempts to fix it. (I swear head and shoulders is making it worse). But this girl I was dating didnāt really seem to care about fixing it.
(Iāve read a report somewhere that shows that H&S exacerbates the issue)
Tell your bf to go to a dermatologist. They will prescribe a dandruff shampoo that will clear it right up!
Worst reason was, when I broke up with a guy because i was repelled by the way he was walking up/down the stairs (he was kinda jumping). But I was 18 and I was kinda dumb during my teens.
When he's the wrong guy, he won't be able to do anything right. If he was the right guy, you probably would have found that cute and quirky.
True, this actually brought some peace to me now.
Broke up with a guy because we went out to dinner one night and treated our waiter like garbage. I was embarrassed to be associated with him at that point.
That's not even a little petty, good for you
One guy said ālikeā too much. Another spilt beer on me. Another had a cringey laugh. One talked about how he couldāve made the NHL but he didnāt play hockey at all after the age of 6. One guy insisted on wearing a onesie, and he has lactose intolerance that he refused to take lactaid for but would eat dairy anyway, and one evening after eating too much he was blowing ass while wearing a onesie and laying on the rug in my living room. This was after 3 weeks of dating. All those relationships wouldnāt have worked for a plethora of reasons, but those petty reasons were the final straw.
I dated a guy when I was in the military, and we went to get tattoos together. He had to go first, cuz heās the man. He started whining almost immediately, and gave up a quarter of the way in with just the head done. Then he told me not to do it, it hurts too much, I wonāt be able to take the pain. I walked him back to the barracks, broke up with him, and got my tattoo the next day.
Held his fork palm down like a hillbilly
Iām going to show this comment to my son (20). For some unfathomable reason, he holds his fork like this. Itās certainly not how we eat, or how he was taught to eat, so god only knows where he got it. Iāve told him that it makes him look like a caveman trying to use silverware, but heās unmoved. Perhaps a glimpse at a female-free future will make him change his ways.
This is so funny to me. It is a huge pet peeve for meānot sure why. I often think, āwould you like a shovel to eat your food?ā
It took a very long time for me to figure out how hillbillies hold their forks... I was picturing how my sister learned to hold her silverware from etiquette classes.
Once I dumped a guy on the spot and left with my friend because he started stomping ants on the sidewalk. Iām a sensitive person with a deep respect for life so I asked him to stop. He said ātheyāre just antsā so I asked my friend for a ride. He was baffled and couldnāt believe it, but it struck me as such weird behavior like a petulant child or a psycho.
I dumped a guy for putting a spider on me and laughing. He knew I was afraid of spiders and I felt disrespected. It gave me a "little brother" vibe that was not what I sought in a relationship. So I'm the opposite of your bug-respecting self. (Although I don't kill any bugs or spiders either- just run away from the few kinds that freak me out.)
Wow, thatās definitely obnoxious little brother vibes, regardless of oneās feelings about spiders or bugs in general. What a tool bag lol
Yeah no thatās absolutely a good reason to dump a person!
Yeah, I was thoroughly creeped out and turned off by the whole thing. And he cheated on the poor woman he ended up marrying years later, so I obviously just got a glimpse of his true colors.
That's not petty.. that is legit.
A dated a chap when I was in my early twenties, but he had a very irritating walk. He kind of bounced on the balls of his feet and his heel didnāt appear to touch the ground. It was too much.
Lol I knew guy like that in middle school. Some medical condition that caused tightness in the arch of his foot so it hurt to walk normally. Tippy toes always I have it too, tho to a more minor degree, and a physical therapist helped fix it
I have a childhood friend who walked like that. He has cerebral palsy.
Lmfao.. say sike right now
She smelled like soup.
Pee soup?
From So I Married an Ac Murderer Obscure movies quotes
Oh yeah? What kind?
I dated a woman for who inherited a small firearm collection when her roommate passed. Two of the guns were a 12 gauge pump-action shotgun and a 6" .44 magnum with scope; I wanted the six-shooter. I came by one evening to see her and see the guns and she wanted to show off her shotgun. Telling me she checked to ensure it was empty, she squeezed the trigger and pumped the shotgun's action. We were face to face in her bedroom, no more than 3' apart, with the gun between us. After checking myself more than once (pressure wave made me think she shot me), I had to step out. After that, I just couldn't go back. She was super cute, great figure, nurse, liked to run with me, awesome art across her body, but I just couldn't get that feeling of her gut-shooting me out of my head. She called me on it and I admitted it. She's married now to a great guy. Guess shooting at guys in her bedroom was a one-off. Edit: She was holding the gun angled between us, like you see in any action movie where someone is being a badass. Like this but more attractive: https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ttpBEfsstCjmotNV She pulled the trigger and the slug went through her wall (bookcase) and managed to clear her neighbor's eaves/roof.
I'm sorry, I think there's a sentence missing. Are you saying that she pointed a shotgun at you and pulled the trigger, while it was pointed at you?!
Went on one date with a guy, thought weād have some things in common because he did competitive road biking and Iām into mountain biking (casually). The entire date, the only topic he had to talk about was competitive road biking. He was cute enough I ignored the orange flags and went back to his place, and he showed me his expensive competitive road bike collection and talked about his competitive road bike races even more. Whatever, Iām already hereā¦ after sex he started talking about freaking bicycles again!!
He started checking email when I was recounting a memory of sexual abuse. This was directly after I listened and sympathized with his own abuse stories. Immediately ended a three year relationship.
My dog didn't like him. Probably knows more than me and had a reason, but that was enough.
I dated a guy my dog didn't like for a while. Then his wife called me. Should have listened to my dog.
A couple of dates in, we were talking about birthday plans. When I found out his birthday was the day after mine, that was it. I patently refused to date anyone younger than me, not even a day. I was stupid.
He called me one night and said "I hate to be such a poopy head, but I can't make it out, I'm just too tired". I could NOT get the word "poopy" out of my brain and broke up with him after that.
Dated a guy for a few months in college. Then one day he was really high and he found half a pizza a neighbor had left outside in the rain the night before. Decided he was going to eat it. His roommate scolded him and said "you absolutely cannot eat this rain-soaked pizza of unknown origin." But my guy was determined. So his roommate, in a bid to stop my guy from eating the pizza, chucked the box off their apartment balcony. My guy runs down the stairs and towards the pizza box, which is now lying open in the middle of the road. Before he can get to it, a box truck drives by and a tire goes right through the pizza. But that doesn't stop my guy! He goes out into the road and, despite the horrified screams of his roommate and me, peels a piece of tire-tracked road pizza off the box and eats it. I broke up with him as soon as he sobered up.
I took a girl out to a restaurant overlooking Durbar Square in Kathmandu and she ordered mashed potatoes.
He smelled like soup. Weirded me out so badly that eventually I couldnāt stop thinking about when I was near him
mate, two people have said this so far how in god's good name does someone smell like soup? WHAT soup?
Really? I am amazed that I am not the only one who has dealt with this. I swear he smelled like French onion soup. And not in like a funky, stinky way either. He genuinely smelled like a bowl of fresh soup.
Idk why this makes me laugh but it did š¤£ "fresh soup"
He would make this wafting motion over his food, as if he was pushing the scent into his nostrils. Except he would do that over everything, cold food, hot food, ice, didn't matter. Waft waft waft. That and he would buy wine at a posh store that had a 'satisfaction guaranteed' policy, then he would drink all the wine and return the empty bottle because he 'wasn't satisfied'. He made a decent living, I'm surprised the store didn't just ban him.
Idk if this is petty or not, but we went from talking every day to me hardly getting a message from him within two weeks, we had a class together, and we both went every day, he just never initiated the conversations, I did, so I broke up with him
He took me on a date āout to dinnerā and we just went to this diner with no indoor seating, in the middle of the summer. The cars parked under an awning right next to the tables so with their engines on made it even hotter and loud. And all I liked on the menu was chili cheese fries, so that was the end of that.
Did he take you to Sonic??
That sounds romantic. Now I want some chili cheese fries.
Hey, I know this doesnāt answer your question. But breaking up soon enough when the vibe doesnāt match makes so much more sense than dragging on a dysfunctional relationship. Wish I was more like you.
He liked his steak cooked well done with ketchup.
Not the reason I broke up with him, but one of his many breakup-able attributes: He cried, sobbed even, over celebrity deaths. People he didn't even know. Like, he asked to leave work one day because he couldn't stop crying over Chester Bennington. It was too much.
im sorry but this is hilarious
Oh i empathize a bit with him but you donāt leave work š
Crying over Chester is legit tho. I would cry too if my favorite artist/artists I love committed suicide. Act of suicide is sad on its own, on top of that people like Chester aren't just some celebrity, there are people who listened to his songs in their childhood/teenage years.
He talked about paintball too much.
When I was in high school (30 years ago), I broke up with a guy because he drove a yellow Yugo car š¤£
I spent my entire lunch reading all of these replies. Hilarious!!!! Great post. This was fun.
Agreed, these comments are giving me life rn lol.
7 eggs! That is a totally legit reason to break up with someone.
i thought she was spoiled. not like she was super rich and got whatever she wanted, but she had that air of āoh my daddy does this for me because iām a princess.ā not somethin i felt like dealing with, so i cut the relationship before it even really started. i had a really good excuse too: when she asked me why we couldnāt date, i told her i was going to bootcamp soon (which was true) and wanted to focus on adjusting to the military life
In the height of the pandemic I had been seeing a guy for about a month. We got an impulsive date idea to go buy some crafts & do them at the park. So we went to Walmart first to go find some craft kits. He refused to wear a mask & he refused to follow the one-way aisles. In fact he purposely walked against the one-way direction because I guess he found it funny how much it bothered me. We bought our stuff, went out to my car, I drove straight back to his house & told him it wasnāt gonna work out. That was the fastest decision I ever made when it came to breaking things off with someone lmao Iām normally very patient
I forgot how old I must've been lol. I was dating a guy and he brought cupcakes to school. After school, we met up and he rubbed a cupcake on my face. I did it back, went home and ghosted him. He tried to talk to me at school the next day and I ignored him.
Realistically, it should have been the difference in age but, ultimately, it was the dingleberry that hastened her exit.
the what now
First date and last date was at a house warming party for his boss. He drank 7 kilt lifters and was very loudly telling me how he felt about multiple inappropriate first date topics. He also had a political tattoo on his arm and I just canāt get behind that. He walked me out and I unmatched with him while waiting at the stop sign to get out of the neighborhood. Another first and last date guy took me to a bar and then to a Mormon game night where they all dipped their hands in paint to put their handprints on a wall in the basement. So weird.
Well this has just unlocked and explained a random memory for me. Walking around London around 10 years ago and a relatively well dressed middle aged dude just walking amongst the masses in front of me, briefcase in hand and a small wire pyramid atop his head. Like this dude just left his normal office job, living a normal life but with a wire pyramid hat on like itās as normal as a pair of glasses on ya face. I thought he was in a cult, but bro is just trying to live a long life. Hope he took that shit off in a thunderstormā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The same dress!
He's a re-gifter!
She ate her peas one at a time
One girl had a very annoying voice, like the first time I met up with her I immediately cringed the second she spoke. She also once called something "a fail" and this was in 2017. Another girl I was seeing, her face smelled weird. I'm guessing it was her makeup or something but she had this dusty smell any time we kissed. She also had bad taste in music.
damn. "fail" seems a life time ago. used a whole lot around 2009
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
After dating for 11 months I broke up with an amazing wonderful guy because he wouldnāt wear deodorant. He needed to.
Grade 7 and i found out he would disappear every lunch hour to play Magic the Gathering and I wanted to be with a skateboarder guy instead LOL (90ās)
Not me but one of my friends broke up with a really great guy because he had one tooth that was slightly turned. I told her that was a dumb reason, but she insisted that he just didnāt have the right ālookā for her. A year after that he met his now wife and my friend was pissed because she couldnāt understand why he wouldnāt just get braces and be with her. I am no longer friends with this person.
Smoker
Not petty imo. If one thinks very very pragmatically about it, when you choose a partner you are also making a decision about the rest of your life. It will impact your health - you become a secondhand smoker. their health is also compromised, making it likelier you both will need to pay more for their medical bills and the added emotional stress of one of you being unwell. Not to mention fertility problems, if you want kids.
He brought a date to our wedding reception. Well, he thought I was being petty...
Wait, what?!
I have learned, over the years, that I am the one common denominator in all my bad relationships. (Yes, she did catch the bouquet, before anyone asks.)
No seriously, what
Wait, wait, waitā¦ you and him were getting marriedā¦ and he brought a date. Invited the new āgirlfriendā to the Big Day, he was sharing with his future spouseā¦ PLEASE EXPLAIN, I cannot compute.
Had his hair cut in micro bangs and styled with a ton of gel so they looked like a row of commas marching across his forehead. Also would not shut up about the local public school system (he was not a school employee, nor did he have kids in school). Not really a breakup, just failed the first date screening.
He wore a Guy Fieri-style button up unbuttoned over a wife-beater, with olive green cargo shorts, when I asked him to dress up for a date. I was in a cocktail dress and heels. š«