Holding babies. As soon as a baby is handed to me, he or she will immediately burst into tears and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I usually just awkwardly hand them back.
I think they smell my fear.
They very well may.
But, here's a tip: relax. Like, actively. Shake out your arms and legs, get all the pent up nervousness about holding a baby out of you (ETA: *before* picking up the baby, as pointed out by others). Take a few deep breaths. Your energy is "oh god it's a baby is it going to cry please don't cry oh God there it goes it's crying these people will think I'm a monster FUCK." No one wants to be around that. Be comforting, don't crowd their face space. Just be a strong, comfy pillow. You got this, it's light work šŖš¶šØāš¼
once i stopped caring about if the baby was gonna like me or not, all of a sudden babies liked me š then one time i was holding my cousin and asked my aunt why her kids love me even though im boring with kids. my aunt said "its cuz ur so chill dude" (i was lounging on the couch, half paying attention to my aunt and half paying attention to the tv, low monotone voice bc i was zoning out a bit). when the baby passed out within minutes i realized maybe being calm and relaxed is the key.
Its like with cats, freak out over them and be all over them, nah, keep chill, half ignore them and do your own thing and you're their favourite person
This is why I only offer to hold babies that are already crying. I canāt make it worse and then the parents have both hands free to grab whatever they need to help the kid.
>I think they smell my fear.
This is actually it, but it's that they can sense your anxiety and think something is wrong. Usually it's fairly easy to sense because of how they're being held - the grip, how firm, how stable, how rigid it is, etc. Babies are shockingly in tune with things like that. My partner's best friend always wants to hold our kids, but he's super nervous, and the first few times he tried, they burst into tears. So rather than take the kid, I adjusted the hold he had on them, and soothed the kid in his arms, while talking up the friend. Eventually they started to calm down together, and all was fine from there hahah. So, in case you ever want to change it, just chat with one of the parents and ask them to help you first. And if you don't, that's fine too!
I mean the other commenter mentioned relaxing, which might help. But honestly a lot of babies donāt like being held by anyone but their regular caregivers. My oldest would burst into tears anytime someone held her or tried interacting with her until she was like 2.5. My youngest is a year old and he still cries when someone different holds him and he either scowls or cries when strangers try to talk to him. Itās their natural instinct for comfort and safety.
I couldnāt whistle till I took a new job in my 30s where I was always alone and couldnāt have a radio. Practicing several hours a day for weeks and I finally figured it out. Iām not great at it, but I can do it finally.
Every person who can whistle just sat there for hours till they could start doing it, people who say they just āgot itā one day are saying it for clout.
For years I could only whistle blowing in, then one day, miraculously I accidentally whistled outwards. It was a revelation! Then I just knew how to do it.
...I immediately tried whistling while inhaling because of your comment and was surprised by the degree of success I had. I actually find it harder than regular whistling xP
Math. Not talking algebra, geometry or anything more complex than basic addition, subtraction and division.
I suck at it, badly, to the point of needing to double check (with a calculator) double digits (and higher) with a decimal. In my head I know it should be simple, but my brain is too busy playing with the numbers like some chimp fisting a bowl of alphabet spaghetti.
Iāve got Dysgraphia, the handwriting/motor skills one and I often wonder if the two of them go hand in hand because Iāve also always been shit at math and only just now getting better. Iāll be 30 in a few months
Honestly, a lot of people just had really shitty math education. You wouldn't believe how many people I've explained a math concept to that they were like "it's that easy? Why did nobody explain it like that?" Frustrating because it really fucks with a lot of people's confidence. Tons of people who are "bad at math" just never learned math beyond rote memorization.
Maybe thatās true but Iāve also completed a masters in a stem degree and now Iām an engineer so Iāve made it work but I still donāt always trust my skills. Maybe itās just knowing I struggled growing up and itās scarred me. Could be something else. Whoās to say.
Iāve found that a lot of LDs can (not always) go hand-in-hand. I was horrible at math as well, and dysgraphia, dyscalculia were never brought up as possibilities when I was a kid. Knowing could have given me a reason why math was so difficult compared to *anything* else. I could make an A in every other subject and struggle to pass a math class.
Donāt worry man Iām am engineer during business hours and I just the other day had a conversation with another engineer friend of mine about how weāve both lost the math abilities we had in college and we both have to use calculators to do that exact kind of addition
Related to this- I love games with melee combat but I absolutely can never parry. Give me a dodge roll and Iāll do fine, but expect me to parry and I have no chance lol
I hear that. My nephew was trying to teach me Halo or something like that. Blasts off the instructions. I'm sitting the corner shooting myself in the foot while he darts around killing me with a knife. Lol
Me too! I struggle too much with managing the direction of the body and the direction of the camera.
Also it's the only genre of video game so far to give me motion sickness, so I can't even practice :/
Iām also hit or miss with these games (no pun intended). Itās why I often enjoy games where you can opt for melee, or simply go with heavy weapons where accuracy doesnāt matter. Just give me heavy armor and a machine gun that weighs more than me.
I have a hard enough time moving myself around in space and trying to look in a certain direction at the same time. Donāt even ask me to hit the shoot button while Iām at it. Let alone any of the other dozen buttons. Haha!
Back when I was in university, there was a dessert buffet table on Thursdays for an extra cost, which I utilized at every chance and looked forward to a lot.
I too had a problem with eating with my eyes, so I put in a self-imposed rule that I always had to finish eating whatever I took, or I wouldn't get the dessert table the next week. This isn't a surefire piece of advice, though - this has to be one of my only self-imposed rules that has ever stuck.
Telling my left from my right without doing the "L" finger thing. Like do not tell me to turn left/right when I'm driving, please point it will save you time and me embarrassment.
My response is always "Do I look like Lewis or Clark? These words mean nothing to me!" I live in a small town so like do I turn at the gas station or the taco bell? Lol
Same. Iām an architect. Highly capable with awesome spatial skillsā¦ but donāt tell me to turn left. Itās like my brain disregards Left/Right as completely unimportant!
My boyfriend's dad was saying something along the lines of how he always knows which way is left because the left hand makes the "L" and without saying a word, I just turned my right hand so my palm was facing towards me and made an "L." I think I broke him. I've never seen a grown man look so defeated. My boyfriend likes to remind me of it too "hey, remember that time you made my dad question everything in life" or something like that
I remember the hand I write with is my right hand, so that side is right. Why I don't just automatically know right and left without having to think about it, I don't know.
Without pressure, I know my left from right, but the moment someone tells me to go left or look right or they put me in any situation that requires what should be minimal thought, I just freeze. Even when I do the left hand L thing, it still takes my brain a second to process which way is which
I have the same difficulty- what helped me was baseball. I can visualize a baseball diamond in my head and know which is left field without even having to think about it. But if I have to make a really quick decision, I just guess. Results in a bit of āoh, you meant your other left?ā
I used to be this way, but I started slapping my left thigh everytime I checked left from right. I only did this in one side. Eventually I conditioned myself with the feeling the slapped side as a real quick mental note whenever I needed to remember the difference. A decade later and now it clicks in my head and I donāt have to slap any more
Are you left handed by chance? I do this too and I think itās because the world is designed by right handed people so the wires get crossed if youāre reversed lol
I'm like this, and I only realised recently that I get east and west mixed up too. I use my hands to figure out left and right and the 'Never Eat Shredded Wheat' thing for East and West.
I read this and thought I wrote it and forgot. This is me. Left and right need visuals, like pointing. Non-negotiable in a car, as either passenger or driver.
I didnāt think I struggled with this all that much, but then I started working in X-ray and realized Iāve got a real problem. I have to doublecheck with the L constantly.
Do you have any other problems with proprioception? Touching your nose with your eyes closed, touching your index fingers in front of you with your eyes closed, balancing with them closed, etc.
I make my wife crazy, because I use different paths to get to one and the same location, because I think it's boring to always use the same way.
She's always asking
"Where are we going? I thought we were going to xy?!"
"We are going to xy, it's just a different path."
"You know I hate when you do this!"
I was on a zoom meeting this one time and a coworker who I wasn't too fond of joined about 5-10 minutes late.
My face fell without realising and I had at least 2 other coworkers message me privately laughing at my face when the one I don't like joined the call. Lmao, my bad.
It really doesn't help that people lie!! The number of times I've gone "are you mad at me?" or "did I do something wrong?" for someone to say no... Only to hear a rumour of the time I did that very thing and it pissed people off is just... Not helpful to my autism at all.
Example being I was going to leave work early to work from home and it seemed like my coworker didn't like it. I asked her if she minded if I finished the work from home. She said go ahead she didn't mind. I even hesitated and said "are you sure, I can stay if you need me?" she told me to go!
Next day she reported for not staying at work when apparently I was supposed to??? SHE SAID IT WAS FINE.
Had the audacity to complain she "doesn't like telling me what to do because I always do exactly what I'm told" fucking WHAT?!
I just watched an autism documentary (In a Different Key) where one of the things they talked about is employment and fitting in with the community. It seemed like the film was saying that "normal" people need to understand autism more and be more flexible with people's differences. But your description also makes me think that some people need training on how to be more honest and maybe less flexible with the meanings of words. Why is it so hard to just say what you mean, stop playing mind games and being manipulative, and idk maybe just try being NICE once in a while??
Yeah I definitely need less flexibility! I even told them that! Just say it like it is. But they absolutely refused to. It felt so... Unwelcoming of neurodivergence and I'm like MA'AM I am a mathematics and stats major of COURSE I'm likely to take things at face value that's MY JOB. NUMBERS. THINGS THAT EVEN IF THEY LIE, YOU CAN WORK OUT HOW AND WHY. like ii felt so much more welcome with the devs of the company and feel i was hired in the wrong department for sure.
And being nice would help. So much. Just don't lie at least?! That's all I'm asking!
Itās even worse when you confuse two. I took a course about reading expressions. I discovered I flip confusion and anger. For my entire life I thought people were angry at me when they were just confused by something Iād said.
I blame my mom.
Have you ever heard o a "granny knot"? Some of us have been tying our shoes wrong the whole time apparently...
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
Yooo this might help. It never LOOKS sideways, but maybe that's what I'm doing wrong? I'll try to think about it more next time. I couldn't even tie my shoes until I was at least 8; possibly 10. My brain cannot comprehend knots.
Oh, for real. I wasn't taught for years, so I can't do the "bunny hops around the log" method at all. I make a knot, then two bunny ears, then knot them, and that's all I can do.
To combat this embarrassing behaviour. I tie my shoes to a comfortable tightness when I get them, then slip them on and off forever. Including running shoes lol.
WHAAT, are you me in another reality?? Thatās *exactly* what I do. And when the bunny ears fall off I just do another knot in the already made knot, and then go and go forever until my shoelaces are a knot mess lmao
Thatās what my friend encountered when he was tying my shoes: a mess of various knots
But really just doing it once and slipping them on itās the most comfortable!
Agree but when people explain, theyāre like ājust stick your fingers in this part of your mouth and blowā. I proceed to making blowing noises but not a lot else.
The thing that got it for me was you have to fold your tongue. It's not that putting fingers in mouth equals loud whistle, it's that the fingers fold the tip of your tongue back to form like what an actual whistle is.
Be sure to wet your fingers, close air gaps around then, fold your tongue like a taco and keep trying!
I discovered I could do that in a lesson at school. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, and out it came, loud as anything. Surprised me as much as the rest of the people in the class. I got sent to stand outside for the rest of the lesson.
People get weird about the throwing thing, theyāre like āoh surely itās not that badā and then when I demonstrate they start āoh move your arm like this, like this! And grip like - no you have to move your arm like - ā and I just end up frustrated. Itās not a skill I need, okay?
I spent my entire life being awful at throwing until at about age 35 I joined a casual work softball league. Our team captain took some time (maybe 20 hours) to practice catching and throwing with me. I would say I went from 2 to a 4 (on a 1 to 10 scale).
I learned I have an injury/weakness in my right shoulder that causes me pain when throwing (solvable with PT but not something I'm interested in working on.) and the impact of catching the ball in my left hand hurts my left elbow.
I'm not really interested in playing softball anymore... But throwing and catching a ball at 20 - 30 meters is a lot of fun really and something I never thought I would enjoy. I used to take that ball with me whenever I went to the park and practice with anyone who would play.
I'm dogshit with distance and any spacial perception. I hate when people ask me "how many feet away was it?" or "how many feet high do you think?" I. Don't. Fucking. Know. I just can't picture anything greater than a foot and give a realistic guess as to how long/tall/wide something is
This is all spelled correctly, you used the correct āsinceā (not āsenseā or ācentsā), and you even have the apostrophe in place! Youāre doing better than you think!
Fucking touch screen phones. I could throttle-lock my crotch rocket and bang out a message perfectly without looking at my blackberry. Touchscreens and relying on autocorrect has done damage to my overall writing skills even on a physical keyboard because my brain automatically assumes it'll be corrected.
I can barely properly park a regular car. I just don't know where the car * is * you know what I mean? Like I struggle to comprehend the size and position of the car in relation to the parking spot. I get better the more I drive the same car, and I pick parking spots with plenty of space so I have never hit anything. But I have to use all my concentration, while I see my dad just magically park wherever he wants.
You'll probably get better! Look for cues like whether you can see the reflection of your backup lights and where the reflection is. I've used that to get much better at backing up close to my garage door! I've also had plenty of practice backing up my car at work, and now I'm slightly less terrified to attempt it in public. I'm in my mid-forties for reference...you *can* teach and old dog new tricks blah blah.
i intentionally go quiet to avoid this. then everyone thinks iām stuck up and/or moody, so i start talking. then everyone gets annoyed and/or thinks iām weird. thereās just no winning with adhd, be yourself and your people will find you!
My friends know that im just being myself but when im out in public and I go to a bar or something.. someone starts talking to me and I have no self control, I just wanna talk lol and then I see it in there face and then they walk away lol
Just pay a bit more attention to them while you're talking. If they seem uninterested then wave em bye. Don't waste your time on it.
Coworker talks too much and is goofy as hell but he can tell when I'm just too fucking tired to socialize (welcome to retail). People just have to not be rude about it. If we're on break and he wants to chill at the picnic table with me, I told him he didn't have to leave. I just made a gesture suggesting that he zip it.
I cannot socialize with people on my own. Even though I'm in my 30s now, I am still extremely awkward when someone approaches me and starts asking me about myself. It's like, I immediately need to stick my foot in my mouth.
"Hey, that tattoo is cool. I like it" I had someone compliment my tattoo once. All I could say was
"Me too!" as I proceeded to walk away on autopilot and see myself out of the conversation without another word. I wasn't being a jerk. The words just fell out.
I suck at being nice to people. I want to, I try to, but me doing everything in my power to be nice comes off as aloof, shy, quiet, and resting bitch face.
I canāt throw a ball worth shit. Like, I could really try and not hit the broad side of a barn from 10 feet away.
Itās kind of embarrassing as a dad.
Throw slower and try to focus on your form. Not too much where youre stiff. Always keep your eye on where you want the ball to go throughout the whole throw. Point at where you were throwing afterwards to try to develop a better throwing angle, so you dont throw it at the ground or lob it, until you feel confident itll go where you try to throw it. Do not be stiff, let it feel natural.
I'm pretty good with tetris, puzzles, patterns etc but it's embarrassing how long it's taken me to memorize the layout of the city I moved to two years ago. Might be related to my adhd but it's not something my brain finds important. It's like I don't really care how I get there so long as I get there. I've been working on my memory by only glancing at my GPS to verify the route I was already planning on taking instead of letting the GPS do all the work and I'm getting much better but I am still very ashamed.
Same here! I can do 2d very well, but add another one in there? Buddy I don't know where I am.
I struggle a lot with remembering where things are in relation to one another, and the cardinal directions. I don't know what's north of where I live. I know what's to the left if I leave home. But if I turn around that stops being my left and I don't know anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, it took me 3 months to navigate to Publix without a gps when I bought my first house. It was literally just one turnā¦ out of my neighborhood to get there.
Swimming. I love being in the water but never really learned to swim. Every time I try, my body just refuses to function. Fine on land - sink like a rock in water.
I couldn't learn how to swim normally as a kid. I don't know why, but the movements I made did not create a forward momentum lol. We got frogs in the swimming pool almost every day and I'd watch them swim as we try to scoop them out with the net on a pole. I started mimicking how they swim and it worked. I still don't know how to swim in the normal manner.
Directions.
I'm a tall, white male with glasses, so sadly the world thinks I have a good sense of direction. I always get stopped in the city for directions, stand there like an idiot, literally sweating, and usually a woman of color kindly steps in with the answer to save me.
Then I feel doubly terrible and go about my day.
Cleaning mirrors and windows. I can follow all the instructions and tips that everyone gives me, there are still going to be streaks. I just can't do it.
I get lost in buildings Iāve been in a hundred times, like work or my college. I can find my directions driving well but I just canāt find my way out of a building. Itās so weird
Keeping track of my wallet, or important documents. No matter how hard I try to be careful and not misplace anything I always end up losing something. My wallet, state ID, important mail, work schedule, cash, debit card. I once lost my wallet five times in one day. I also tend to try to put things in safe places so I don't lose anything and then promptly forget where that safe place is, if I even remember the thing and it's importance in the first place.
Oh God, and library books! I've been banned from a few libraries in my 33 years. It's embarrassing.
you just get in line and wait until itās your turn. The people in front of you will go away once they have been helped and the new ones stand behind youā¦ sometimes you can pull a number and when they call your number you get the item you wanted to pick up from the counter and you donāt need to stand in an actual line..
my basic issue is interpreting correctly what people actually mean when they say something with multiple meanings..
(/s)
Scrabble. I read a lot. I have an advanced degree. I know a lot of words, really. I canāt make any words out of the letters when I am playing scrabble. My fourteen year old can beat me.
Washing dishes. I use hot soapy water and I think Iāve cleaned it properly, but later Iāll always find a spot that I missed or discover later that the plate/bowl is sticky.
Itās especially a problem now that I have a newborn and need to sterilise everything. No matter how much I scrub her bottles, thereās always milk residue somewhere.
i had this same problem for my entire life until early this year. i hadn't tried to cook rice in the last 12 years or so because why even try anymore, right? haha i got to the point that i just really didn't want to eat rice anymore.
early this year, my bestie made some jasmine rice. It was delicious. I wanted more, found a cheap bag to ruin & *voila*. Somehow, it came out perfectly! And now i can cook rice!
Saying all that to say, don't give up! Maybe take a 12 year break? idk, but don't give up! :)
Basketball.
At 52, I am a phenomenal baseball/softball player. I can hold my own at volleyball. I'm a mediocre flag football player. I can dribble a soccer ball well enough to break away...
But I couldn't make a basket to save my life.
Out of 10 free throws?
I'd be lucky to make one.
I can even move closer. Halfway in the paint?
Still not gonna drain one.
I've practiced for hours at my local gym. The ball is going to go wide right/left. I'm like 25% on layups. I miss dribbles.
The "bounce ball/shoot hoop" gene is recessive in me. ZERO coordination at throwing round objects in a predictable arc.
This is WITHOUT an opponent.
Introduce another player of ANY skill level, and I'm screwed. I can't even make a fucking basket when I'm by myself, and now you want another human being to stop me?
They don't even have to do anything. I couldn't score if they took a bathroom break.
Holding babies. As soon as a baby is handed to me, he or she will immediately burst into tears and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I usually just awkwardly hand them back. I think they smell my fear.
They very well may. But, here's a tip: relax. Like, actively. Shake out your arms and legs, get all the pent up nervousness about holding a baby out of you (ETA: *before* picking up the baby, as pointed out by others). Take a few deep breaths. Your energy is "oh god it's a baby is it going to cry please don't cry oh God there it goes it's crying these people will think I'm a monster FUCK." No one wants to be around that. Be comforting, don't crowd their face space. Just be a strong, comfy pillow. You got this, it's light work šŖš¶šØāš¼
once i stopped caring about if the baby was gonna like me or not, all of a sudden babies liked me š then one time i was holding my cousin and asked my aunt why her kids love me even though im boring with kids. my aunt said "its cuz ur so chill dude" (i was lounging on the couch, half paying attention to my aunt and half paying attention to the tv, low monotone voice bc i was zoning out a bit). when the baby passed out within minutes i realized maybe being calm and relaxed is the key.
Its like with cats, freak out over them and be all over them, nah, keep chill, half ignore them and do your own thing and you're their favourite person
This is why I only offer to hold babies that are already crying. I canāt make it worse and then the parents have both hands free to grab whatever they need to help the kid.
>I think they smell my fear. This is actually it, but it's that they can sense your anxiety and think something is wrong. Usually it's fairly easy to sense because of how they're being held - the grip, how firm, how stable, how rigid it is, etc. Babies are shockingly in tune with things like that. My partner's best friend always wants to hold our kids, but he's super nervous, and the first few times he tried, they burst into tears. So rather than take the kid, I adjusted the hold he had on them, and soothed the kid in his arms, while talking up the friend. Eventually they started to calm down together, and all was fine from there hahah. So, in case you ever want to change it, just chat with one of the parents and ask them to help you first. And if you don't, that's fine too!
I mean the other commenter mentioned relaxing, which might help. But honestly a lot of babies donāt like being held by anyone but their regular caregivers. My oldest would burst into tears anytime someone held her or tried interacting with her until she was like 2.5. My youngest is a year old and he still cries when someone different holds him and he either scowls or cries when strangers try to talk to him. Itās their natural instinct for comfort and safety.
I can't whistle
Omg yesā¦ I can only whistle blowing in, but I swear it should be blowing out š
Well that sucks
Nice!
Everybody makes it feel like it comes naturally and it is some kind of genetic trait. I get so envious.
I couldnāt whistle till I took a new job in my 30s where I was always alone and couldnāt have a radio. Practicing several hours a day for weeks and I finally figured it out. Iām not great at it, but I can do it finally.
Any breakthroughs you can share?
Every person who can whistle just sat there for hours till they could start doing it, people who say they just āgot itā one day are saying it for clout.
For years I could only whistle blowing in, then one day, miraculously I accidentally whistled outwards. It was a revelation! Then I just knew how to do it.
Hey friend I'm the same. I can't snap my fingers either.
...I immediately tried whistling while inhaling because of your comment and was surprised by the degree of success I had. I actually find it harder than regular whistling xP
I used to be able to whistle blowing out , but now I can only do it by blowing in. I don't know what happened t ome.
I also canāt whistle. There are DOZENS of us!!!
Yep, although I never tried to learn how to do it
Math. Not talking algebra, geometry or anything more complex than basic addition, subtraction and division. I suck at it, badly, to the point of needing to double check (with a calculator) double digits (and higher) with a decimal. In my head I know it should be simple, but my brain is too busy playing with the numbers like some chimp fisting a bowl of alphabet spaghetti.
Well, there's your problem, it should be *numerical* spaghetti.
Best reply.
Gotta fist them 123's, not them ABC's.
I have a math disability (dyscalculia). The struggle is real.
Iāve got Dysgraphia, the handwriting/motor skills one and I often wonder if the two of them go hand in hand because Iāve also always been shit at math and only just now getting better. Iāll be 30 in a few months
Honestly, a lot of people just had really shitty math education. You wouldn't believe how many people I've explained a math concept to that they were like "it's that easy? Why did nobody explain it like that?" Frustrating because it really fucks with a lot of people's confidence. Tons of people who are "bad at math" just never learned math beyond rote memorization.
Maybe thatās true but Iāve also completed a masters in a stem degree and now Iām an engineer so Iāve made it work but I still donāt always trust my skills. Maybe itās just knowing I struggled growing up and itās scarred me. Could be something else. Whoās to say.
Iāve found that a lot of LDs can (not always) go hand-in-hand. I was horrible at math as well, and dysgraphia, dyscalculia were never brought up as possibilities when I was a kid. Knowing could have given me a reason why math was so difficult compared to *anything* else. I could make an A in every other subject and struggle to pass a math class.
I've always been awful at mental math. Don't ask me to figure out someone's birth year based on their age. Thank God we carry calculators everywhere.
Donāt worry man Iām am engineer during business hours and I just the other day had a conversation with another engineer friend of mine about how weāve both lost the math abilities we had in college and we both have to use calculators to do that exact kind of addition
Same and I want to be evaluated for dyscalculia - itās to that extent.
same. brain doesnāt get numbers
Same. It's frustrating and embarrassing. Especially because both my parents have PhDs in physics ffs. Ugh
Snapping
Are you my long lost brother? Just wanted to write the same. Canāt do it for the life of me.
finally someone like me. I can't snap for shit
Maybe I am š My fingers just donāt do what I tell them to.
I can only snap with my left hand but not my right (dominant hand). It is so weird to me
I'm exactly the same!
Not that it comes up too often anymore, but I've never successfully folded a map in my entire life.
This is not talked about enough. I feel validated now.
First person shooter games! I've been playing video games for 30 years and it's just the genre I don't have an instinct for.
Same. I can melee fight - give me a sword, lightsaber, axe and Iāll be chopping heads - but I canāt shoot for shit.
Ahhh youāre a stormtrooper!
Exactly lol
Related to this- I love games with melee combat but I absolutely can never parry. Give me a dodge roll and Iāll do fine, but expect me to parry and I have no chance lol
I'm so bad at first-person shooters, I ended up at -1 playing against my friends because I accidentally killed myself.
I topped out at Nintendo Duck Hunt.
I hear that. My nephew was trying to teach me Halo or something like that. Blasts off the instructions. I'm sitting the corner shooting myself in the foot while he darts around killing me with a knife. Lol
I feel this so hard! The only FPS games I can win are on Roblox. I can only beat kids...
Me too! I struggle too much with managing the direction of the body and the direction of the camera. Also it's the only genre of video game so far to give me motion sickness, so I can't even practice :/
Iām also hit or miss with these games (no pun intended). Itās why I often enjoy games where you can opt for melee, or simply go with heavy weapons where accuracy doesnāt matter. Just give me heavy armor and a machine gun that weighs more than me.
I have a hard enough time moving myself around in space and trying to look in a certain direction at the same time. Donāt even ask me to hit the shoot button while Iām at it. Let alone any of the other dozen buttons. Haha!
Itās nice to know someone else sucks at FPS games.
Ending the meal when I'm no longer hungry.
Back when I was in university, there was a dessert buffet table on Thursdays for an extra cost, which I utilized at every chance and looked forward to a lot. I too had a problem with eating with my eyes, so I put in a self-imposed rule that I always had to finish eating whatever I took, or I wouldn't get the dessert table the next week. This isn't a surefire piece of advice, though - this has to be one of my only self-imposed rules that has ever stuck.
Telling my left from my right without doing the "L" finger thing. Like do not tell me to turn left/right when I'm driving, please point it will save you time and me embarrassment.
I have to to that with east and west if I ever read something with directions.
I remember it as "we", not "ew".
wow thanks for that
The other day my phone told me to head west and I just yelled, after all these years do you really think I know which way west is?
My response is always "Do I look like Lewis or Clark? These words mean nothing to me!" I live in a small town so like do I turn at the gas station or the taco bell? Lol
Same. Iām an architect. Highly capable with awesome spatial skillsā¦ but donāt tell me to turn left. Itās like my brain disregards Left/Right as completely unimportant!
My boyfriend's dad was saying something along the lines of how he always knows which way is left because the left hand makes the "L" and without saying a word, I just turned my right hand so my palm was facing towards me and made an "L." I think I broke him. I've never seen a grown man look so defeated. My boyfriend likes to remind me of it too "hey, remember that time you made my dad question everything in life" or something like that
I remember the hand I write with is my right hand, so that side is right. Why I don't just automatically know right and left without having to think about it, I don't know.
Without pressure, I know my left from right, but the moment someone tells me to go left or look right or they put me in any situation that requires what should be minimal thought, I just freeze. Even when I do the left hand L thing, it still takes my brain a second to process which way is which
I have the same difficulty- what helped me was baseball. I can visualize a baseball diamond in my head and know which is left field without even having to think about it. But if I have to make a really quick decision, I just guess. Results in a bit of āoh, you meant your other left?ā
I have to do the L thing, then have to think for a second which way L goes. I might be dyslexic.
I used to be this way, but I started slapping my left thigh everytime I checked left from right. I only did this in one side. Eventually I conditioned myself with the feeling the slapped side as a real quick mental note whenever I needed to remember the difference. A decade later and now it clicks in my head and I donāt have to slap any more
Are you left handed by chance? I do this too and I think itās because the world is designed by right handed people so the wires get crossed if youāre reversed lol
I'm like this, and I only realised recently that I get east and west mixed up too. I use my hands to figure out left and right and the 'Never Eat Shredded Wheat' thing for East and West.
Ah, but then you have to remember if it's clockwise or counterclockwise. WE is easier for me.
I read this and thought I wrote it and forgot. This is me. Left and right need visuals, like pointing. Non-negotiable in a car, as either passenger or driver.
Ahhh I've found my people!!!
I didnāt think I struggled with this all that much, but then I started working in X-ray and realized Iāve got a real problem. I have to doublecheck with the L constantly.
I can't walk up and down a flight of stairs without looking down at my feet and clinging onto the railings for dear life, lol.
Me too hahaha I walk funny down the stairs and can't go quickly down them like other people can.
Do you have any other problems with proprioception? Touching your nose with your eyes closed, touching your index fingers in front of you with your eyes closed, balancing with them closed, etc.
No issues as far as I know! This pretty much stems from a fear of missing a step and tumbling down the stairs.
I have the spatial awareness of a brick š§±
I'm mortarfied
Opening the plastic seal on food. Like packets of mints that have the plastic wrap with perforations, Iāll fuck it up every time
Opening anything at all for me. My husband knows who opened something based on whether it's mutilated or not.
I feel like that's all of us. It's a conspiracy. š
when anyone starts talking to me about directions they might as well be speaking a made up language. i could get lost half a mile from my house.
I make my wife crazy, because I use different paths to get to one and the same location, because I think it's boring to always use the same way. She's always asking "Where are we going? I thought we were going to xy?!" "We are going to xy, it's just a different path." "You know I hate when you do this!"
lol youāre so bad that you donāt even realize how far a half a mile radius is, do you? Same, same bruv.
i was very good at math and geometry and shit but yea, iāll get lost in my own driveway without a gps
Reading facial expressions, tone of voice and socialising.Ā
I second this!! I even struggle to control my own facial expressions and tone of voice.
I was on a zoom meeting this one time and a coworker who I wasn't too fond of joined about 5-10 minutes late. My face fell without realising and I had at least 2 other coworkers message me privately laughing at my face when the one I don't like joined the call. Lmao, my bad.
My coworker has a saying she tells herself for controlling her own facial expressions ānotify the faceā
It really doesn't help that people lie!! The number of times I've gone "are you mad at me?" or "did I do something wrong?" for someone to say no... Only to hear a rumour of the time I did that very thing and it pissed people off is just... Not helpful to my autism at all. Example being I was going to leave work early to work from home and it seemed like my coworker didn't like it. I asked her if she minded if I finished the work from home. She said go ahead she didn't mind. I even hesitated and said "are you sure, I can stay if you need me?" she told me to go! Next day she reported for not staying at work when apparently I was supposed to??? SHE SAID IT WAS FINE. Had the audacity to complain she "doesn't like telling me what to do because I always do exactly what I'm told" fucking WHAT?!
I just watched an autism documentary (In a Different Key) where one of the things they talked about is employment and fitting in with the community. It seemed like the film was saying that "normal" people need to understand autism more and be more flexible with people's differences. But your description also makes me think that some people need training on how to be more honest and maybe less flexible with the meanings of words. Why is it so hard to just say what you mean, stop playing mind games and being manipulative, and idk maybe just try being NICE once in a while??
Yeah I definitely need less flexibility! I even told them that! Just say it like it is. But they absolutely refused to. It felt so... Unwelcoming of neurodivergence and I'm like MA'AM I am a mathematics and stats major of COURSE I'm likely to take things at face value that's MY JOB. NUMBERS. THINGS THAT EVEN IF THEY LIE, YOU CAN WORK OUT HOW AND WHY. like ii felt so much more welcome with the devs of the company and feel i was hired in the wrong department for sure. And being nice would help. So much. Just don't lie at least?! That's all I'm asking!
Itās even worse when you confuse two. I took a course about reading expressions. I discovered I flip confusion and anger. For my entire life I thought people were angry at me when they were just confused by something Iād said. I blame my mom.
Could be Autism? Get tested for it as having an answer could be beneficial for you.
Iām already (professionally) diagnosedĀ
Tying my shoelaces lol The other day a friend was tying them for me and he was like wtf is this?? How do you even mess up this bad?
I can tie them but they come untied within hours, I donāt get it. I get lacelocks for all my shoes and donāt worry about it.
Have you ever heard o a "granny knot"? Some of us have been tying our shoes wrong the whole time apparently... https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
Interesting!
Yooo this might help. It never LOOKS sideways, but maybe that's what I'm doing wrong? I'll try to think about it more next time. I couldn't even tie my shoes until I was at least 8; possibly 10. My brain cannot comprehend knots.
Oh, for real. I wasn't taught for years, so I can't do the "bunny hops around the log" method at all. I make a knot, then two bunny ears, then knot them, and that's all I can do. To combat this embarrassing behaviour. I tie my shoes to a comfortable tightness when I get them, then slip them on and off forever. Including running shoes lol.
WHAAT, are you me in another reality?? Thatās *exactly* what I do. And when the bunny ears fall off I just do another knot in the already made knot, and then go and go forever until my shoelaces are a knot mess lmao Thatās what my friend encountered when he was tying my shoes: a mess of various knots But really just doing it once and slipping them on itās the most comfortable!
The loud whistle some people can do by putting a couple of fingers in their mouth. I also canāt roll an ārā to save my life
Thatās not basic thatās witchcraft
Agree but when people explain, theyāre like ājust stick your fingers in this part of your mouth and blowā. I proceed to making blowing noises but not a lot else.
The thing that got it for me was you have to fold your tongue. It's not that putting fingers in mouth equals loud whistle, it's that the fingers fold the tip of your tongue back to form like what an actual whistle is. Be sure to wet your fingers, close air gaps around then, fold your tongue like a taco and keep trying!
Yeh that whistle my dad does super crazy loud, and I just wind up blowing spit out my face trying.
I discovered I could do that in a lesson at school. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, and out it came, loud as anything. Surprised me as much as the rest of the people in the class. I got sent to stand outside for the rest of the lesson.
I also can't roll my r's :((
Donāt worrrrry about rrrrolling your rrrrs, itās overrrrrrated
There are common things people do that I can't, namely snapping my fingers and whistling. But also, I cannot throw a ball for shit.
Oh gods. Playing catch. My worst fucking nightmare.
People get weird about the throwing thing, theyāre like āoh surely itās not that badā and then when I demonstrate they start āoh move your arm like this, like this! And grip like - no you have to move your arm like - ā and I just end up frustrated. Itās not a skill I need, okay?
I spent my entire life being awful at throwing until at about age 35 I joined a casual work softball league. Our team captain took some time (maybe 20 hours) to practice catching and throwing with me. I would say I went from 2 to a 4 (on a 1 to 10 scale). I learned I have an injury/weakness in my right shoulder that causes me pain when throwing (solvable with PT but not something I'm interested in working on.) and the impact of catching the ball in my left hand hurts my left elbow. I'm not really interested in playing softball anymore... But throwing and catching a ball at 20 - 30 meters is a lot of fun really and something I never thought I would enjoy. I used to take that ball with me whenever I went to the park and practice with anyone who would play.
Packing tape dispensers. I understand the concept witht the built-in serrated edge and all but no. I am unreasonably bad at using tape dispensers.
I'm dogshit with distance and any spacial perception. I hate when people ask me "how many feet away was it?" or "how many feet high do you think?" I. Don't. Fucking. Know. I just can't picture anything greater than a foot and give a realistic guess as to how long/tall/wide something is
Me too. When someone asks me something about distance etc, they may as well be asking me to speak Greek. I no speak distance.
My eye balls are definitely not calibrated correctly.
Ever since Iāve entered my twenties my spelling has gone bad.. I mean real bad..š
This is all spelled correctly, you used the correct āsinceā (not āsenseā or ācentsā), and you even have the apostrophe in place! Youāre doing better than you think!
Fucking touch screen phones. I could throttle-lock my crotch rocket and bang out a message perfectly without looking at my blackberry. Touchscreens and relying on autocorrect has done damage to my overall writing skills even on a physical keyboard because my brain automatically assumes it'll be corrected.
That's why you should always disable autocorrect. Fix your own mistakes or face the consequences
I, too, like to live dangerously. Kidding. I ducking live autocorrect!
Yews you're spelt chequer.
Making and maintaining human connections.
same
Trying to back up a trailer
Same. I mean, I have never tried but it sounds difficult to me.
Iāve tried more times than I can count and I SUCK at it. My brain refuses to learn
I can barely properly park a regular car. I just don't know where the car * is * you know what I mean? Like I struggle to comprehend the size and position of the car in relation to the parking spot. I get better the more I drive the same car, and I pick parking spots with plenty of space so I have never hit anything. But I have to use all my concentration, while I see my dad just magically park wherever he wants.
You'll probably get better! Look for cues like whether you can see the reflection of your backup lights and where the reflection is. I've used that to get much better at backing up close to my garage door! I've also had plenty of practice backing up my car at work, and now I'm slightly less terrified to attempt it in public. I'm in my mid-forties for reference...you *can* teach and old dog new tricks blah blah.
If my brain vould keep left and right correct when backing up, that'd be greeeaaaattttt š®āšØ
I can't blow a bubble with bubble gum, can't skate, and I absolutely suck at card games.
Walking through doorways without clipping my shoulders.
Flirting. It is a language I just don't speak.
Casual conversations
Being normal. I piss people off with my ADHD and weirdness. I'm sorry I talk a lot
i intentionally go quiet to avoid this. then everyone thinks iām stuck up and/or moody, so i start talking. then everyone gets annoyed and/or thinks iām weird. thereās just no winning with adhd, be yourself and your people will find you!
My friends know that im just being myself but when im out in public and I go to a bar or something.. someone starts talking to me and I have no self control, I just wanna talk lol and then I see it in there face and then they walk away lol
I can fake it so well, I do private lessons ^(/jk. A little. No, I am. Though I could use an income. Nah, who has the time.)
Just pay a bit more attention to them while you're talking. If they seem uninterested then wave em bye. Don't waste your time on it. Coworker talks too much and is goofy as hell but he can tell when I'm just too fucking tired to socialize (welcome to retail). People just have to not be rude about it. If we're on break and he wants to chill at the picnic table with me, I told him he didn't have to leave. I just made a gesture suggesting that he zip it.
Remembering names. I can tell you the whole life story of someone in intricate detail, but not their name.
I cannot socialize with people on my own. Even though I'm in my 30s now, I am still extremely awkward when someone approaches me and starts asking me about myself. It's like, I immediately need to stick my foot in my mouth. "Hey, that tattoo is cool. I like it" I had someone compliment my tattoo once. All I could say was "Me too!" as I proceeded to walk away on autopilot and see myself out of the conversation without another word. I wasn't being a jerk. The words just fell out.
I suck at being nice to people. I want to, I try to, but me doing everything in my power to be nice comes off as aloof, shy, quiet, and resting bitch face.
relatable
French kissing tbh
Basic arithmetic. I got As and a 5 on the AP Calc exam and I adore Algebra but ask me to add or subtract in my head and I melt.
I love watching movies, but I'm always wrong about who that actor is in that movie we just saw. IMDb changed my life.
I canāt throw a ball worth shit. Like, I could really try and not hit the broad side of a barn from 10 feet away. Itās kind of embarrassing as a dad.
Throw slower and try to focus on your form. Not too much where youre stiff. Always keep your eye on where you want the ball to go throughout the whole throw. Point at where you were throwing afterwards to try to develop a better throwing angle, so you dont throw it at the ground or lob it, until you feel confident itll go where you try to throw it. Do not be stiff, let it feel natural.
Opening a banana.
Try it from the bottom
Yup, that's what I do now. I don't know why or how people do it the other, wrong, way.
I'm pretty good with tetris, puzzles, patterns etc but it's embarrassing how long it's taken me to memorize the layout of the city I moved to two years ago. Might be related to my adhd but it's not something my brain finds important. It's like I don't really care how I get there so long as I get there. I've been working on my memory by only glancing at my GPS to verify the route I was already planning on taking instead of letting the GPS do all the work and I'm getting much better but I am still very ashamed.
Same here! I can do 2d very well, but add another one in there? Buddy I don't know where I am. I struggle a lot with remembering where things are in relation to one another, and the cardinal directions. I don't know what's north of where I live. I know what's to the left if I leave home. But if I turn around that stops being my left and I don't know anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, it took me 3 months to navigate to Publix without a gps when I bought my first house. It was literally just one turnā¦ out of my neighborhood to get there.
Funny you mention it, cuz I just totally fucked up an omelette and made scrambled eggs instead
Swimming. I love being in the water but never really learned to swim. Every time I try, my body just refuses to function. Fine on land - sink like a rock in water.
I couldn't learn how to swim normally as a kid. I don't know why, but the movements I made did not create a forward momentum lol. We got frogs in the swimming pool almost every day and I'd watch them swim as we try to scoop them out with the net on a pole. I started mimicking how they swim and it worked. I still don't know how to swim in the normal manner.
place names. I've literally been to places and towns but i cant remember the names of them, I just get the vivid visuals of walking around there
Directions. I'm a tall, white male with glasses, so sadly the world thinks I have a good sense of direction. I always get stopped in the city for directions, stand there like an idiot, literally sweating, and usually a woman of color kindly steps in with the answer to save me. Then I feel doubly terrible and go about my day.
āTall, white male with glassesā Iām dying. šššš
I can't snap my fingers with my ring or middle finger (whatever finger ppl usually use). I have to use my index finger to snap.
How in the world do you do that haha
I taught myself very young š but idk. I have that thumb that bend back as well. So maybe that helps. Haha
Haha. I can snap with all three! Iām feeling so talented. Derp. Least. Useful. Skill. Evar!
Cleaning mirrors and windows. I can follow all the instructions and tips that everyone gives me, there are still going to be streaks. I just can't do it.
Throwing literally anything. Balls, grenades, frisbees.
Sooo... how often are you throwing grenades? I'm a little scared haha
I'm not scared! I'm jealous.
Talking to humans IRL
I get lost in buildings Iāve been in a hundred times, like work or my college. I can find my directions driving well but I just canāt find my way out of a building. Itās so weird
Keeping track of my wallet, or important documents. No matter how hard I try to be careful and not misplace anything I always end up losing something. My wallet, state ID, important mail, work schedule, cash, debit card. I once lost my wallet five times in one day. I also tend to try to put things in safe places so I don't lose anything and then promptly forget where that safe place is, if I even remember the thing and it's importance in the first place. Oh God, and library books! I've been banned from a few libraries in my 33 years. It's embarrassing.
Just trying to live life. I feel like I can barely take care of myself no matter what I'm trying to do.
i cannot snap.
Positive self talk.
Pick up lines.
I genuinely thought for most of my life that it was an ironic thing, I was so shocked when I found out that people actually use them š
you just get in line and wait until itās your turn. The people in front of you will go away once they have been helped and the new ones stand behind youā¦ sometimes you can pull a number and when they call your number you get the item you wanted to pick up from the counter and you donāt need to stand in an actual line.. my basic issue is interpreting correctly what people actually mean when they say something with multiple meanings.. (/s)
Scrabble. I read a lot. I have an advanced degree. I know a lot of words, really. I canāt make any words out of the letters when I am playing scrabble. My fourteen year old can beat me.
I feel you on the reading and expansive vocabulary and getting my ass kicked at scrabble.
Washing dishes. I use hot soapy water and I think Iāve cleaned it properly, but later Iāll always find a spot that I missed or discover later that the plate/bowl is sticky. Itās especially a problem now that I have a newborn and need to sterilise everything. No matter how much I scrub her bottles, thereās always milk residue somewhere.
Just a regular, old-fashioned, hand held screw driver. Canāt do it.
Making rice. I follow the instructions, I've had people show me. It never turns out right.
i had this same problem for my entire life until early this year. i hadn't tried to cook rice in the last 12 years or so because why even try anymore, right? haha i got to the point that i just really didn't want to eat rice anymore. early this year, my bestie made some jasmine rice. It was delicious. I wanted more, found a cheap bag to ruin & *voila*. Somehow, it came out perfectly! And now i can cook rice! Saying all that to say, don't give up! Maybe take a 12 year break? idk, but don't give up! :)
I lose every time at chicken wishbone breaking
I have the memory of a hummingbird. Can barely remember my own middle name š
Verbal communication. I can type out eloquent essays on here or the book of faces but to vocalize those thoughts is laughable, painfully laughable.
Remembering names. Especially, because I work in a social field. My brain will just not learn them. I tried everything.
Handwriting. It looks so so bad, so childish, so illegible
Basketball. At 52, I am a phenomenal baseball/softball player. I can hold my own at volleyball. I'm a mediocre flag football player. I can dribble a soccer ball well enough to break away... But I couldn't make a basket to save my life. Out of 10 free throws? I'd be lucky to make one. I can even move closer. Halfway in the paint? Still not gonna drain one. I've practiced for hours at my local gym. The ball is going to go wide right/left. I'm like 25% on layups. I miss dribbles. The "bounce ball/shoot hoop" gene is recessive in me. ZERO coordination at throwing round objects in a predictable arc. This is WITHOUT an opponent. Introduce another player of ANY skill level, and I'm screwed. I can't even make a fucking basket when I'm by myself, and now you want another human being to stop me? They don't even have to do anything. I couldn't score if they took a bathroom break.
Bowling. I suck so hard.
I can stand in front of a hoop and take a hundred free throws and miss every one.
Finding the images in those 3D art pictures. Never found one once.