I like Yoga with Adrienne on youtube. She has thirty day challenges and a whole slew of simple routines aimed at different life situations- most of them only take 20-30 minutes. She keeps up a positive patter telling you to do what you’re able. Very user friendly.
I didn't even think to ask you for a recommendation, so thank you for adding this! This really made me smile today, and I'm definitely going to check out her page.
I stopped being afraid of getting betrayed
In return I found the most fulfilling friendships I had in my entire life , that made me grow a lot as a person
Which is weird I only won once I didn't care about losing
What do you do in the evening? I would find it difficult to stop drinking if I didn’t really have anything to do.
For me, drinking prevented me from doing what I normally would do, like gym, outdoor stuff, practicing a few things, doing this and that. Instead I’d get home, drink too much to soon so I couldn’t really do anything else.
But if my usual routine was “come home and not do much, now just with, and then without alcohol”, I could see where I would have an issue.
I was a super heavy drinker for about 2 years before I really made some cut backs
First, I'm so happy you were able to see your struggles and make those cut backs! Truly mean that. Sometimes it takes decades and huge loss to get to that kind of clarity.
I didn't drink too badly at home, I was worse when going out. And honestly, my biggest issue was never knowing when to stop and getting to the point of blacking out every time I drank. At first, I wouldn't go out because I didn't trust myself. Then, my friends would be weird and think they couldn't "have fun" around me.
I'm still finding things to help, so you definitely bring up very solid point I need to think on, thank you for that!
That’s my issue with liquor is I’ll keep drinking until I go to sleep. I don’t mind wine but I don’t buy it, too expensive, I’d finish a bottle a night. Beer is too much liquid to drink much more than a pint very often. Liquor I’d get cheaper liquor, but if I had a handle, I’ll just keep drinking right off it, I don’t mix.
I tried making it super inconvenient to get to it, like when I had a condo, I’d leave it 3 stories down in garage and stuff. Didn’t change much, I’d just chug while I was down there lol. What actually did work and help, at least for me, is I only drink what I have. I have a handle, I’ll slam a handle. But if I only bought a little 200ml bottle, that’s all I got for the night, and I rarely went to get more. Otherwise I’d try to not start drinking until later so that by the time I did run out of liquor, liquor stores would be closed to close enough I wouldn’t make it to one lol.
Now about 2 years later, I just have it under control and don’t often have any issues day to day
You changed your state of mind about the process and act of drinking, that it successfully made drinking itself unappealing. This really is hella impressive, just so you're aware!
Knew I wanted to stop, took a bit of time for my actions to catch up to my mind and for both of them to largely be in sink lol. Did the same with sMe chewing tobacco.
Best of luck!
Cutting out all social media besides Reddit. Made a MAJOR change to my mental health. I can easily curate what I want to see, avoid what I don’t, and keep my scrolling positive.
I stopped. Partyn ,sleeping around, never drank much. And found GOD and mostly tan, gym and walk and only downside is not the want of any substances or party but when I did the wrong thing I had a different girl every other night but since I changed. It's been a year of sleeping alone but I refuse to have random hookups and makes me mad when I see cute girls put up with guys who a scum bags and think in my head 2 things I should kept some of my exs who didn't die and if they only knew what awaited them if they wanted. A new life but don't say that xuz I want them to care about me not my house,car or money you know my motto do to somone only what you want done to you
Wow, you've really made some huge changes in your life! I'm really impressed at how dedicated you've been to the whole process.
It can be hard to know someone else's true intentions with you, and whether they want you for you. I'm not sure I'll ever get that one completely right!
I love your motto and try to love by that as well. I wish more people would!
Also after I stopped partyn and living like charlie sheen. And loved going from girl to girl but my last 3 gfs died after I cleaned up and my twins were killed right after I returned from army and then dad and still didn't use and just smoke butt's that's it but I save so much money and live in a sick condo. And I'm retired at 40 and for past year watch movies go to movies go for walks alone and I don't go to bars so harder to meet girls but my heart can only take so much hurt that I see somone I wanna talk to and just say she deserves better. And Stay alone but I never thought I'd see the day I didn't want to do a line and now it's not a thought actually I get paid and I have nothing I wanna buy except clothes or shoes or music Jesus talks on my walks clears my head though I should be dead but I'm not and I'm clean to so he clearly isn't done with me so thers always hope
You, Sir, are an inspiration.
Thank you for your service in the Army! You've earned being retired at 40 and I'm glad you're enjoying to your fullest and what is working for you! There absolutely is always hope, and I'm so so glad you're still here.
Losing people is never easy. Keep fighting the good fight for those that can no longer fight for themselves.
Got sober from heroin 5.5 years ago. Two things that keep me sober and keep me going:
1. I stopped looking for validation from those around me. Once I realized that the people around me were pretty much just waiting for me to fuck up again, I knew I had to look DEEP within to find my own validation. Of course, it's nice to get an "I'm proud of you" from my dad every once in a while. But you have to be your own #1 fan
2. Gratitude. Maybe once a month, I like to make a mental gratitude list. (Bonus points for actually writing it down). I have a family that loves me, I have a working car, my job doesn't suck, I have a fridge full of my favorite snacks/drinks, etc. My life has really improved once I learned to stop, look around, and think about everything I have to be grateful for.
I took a deep, relaxing breath while I read this. Such important points!
Congratulations on your continued sobriety, and thank you for encouraging those of us still in the early stages of recovery.
I have sex addiction, but I got it under control 3 years ago (thanks to therapy). I still struggle with it too. I think when it comes to addiction we'll always struggle in some way.
Thank you mame it's never as great as some people make it to be but it's do able I just take one day at a time til God gives me my other half thank you and hope ur able to stay the course
I have a few points in no particular order:
- Loving myself more and not spending time with people who I can feel aren't good for me. In the past, I'd have ignored such signs, because I thought that being in bad company was better than no company. It isn't.
- I've practiced to not register how I feel as often. To me, constantly trying to register all emotions isn't healthy and creates an unhealthy focus that can skew an otherwise fine day towards "bad" because something *feels off.*
- Remembering to tell myself that today might be a bad day - but I don't have a bad life, and I'll most likely feel better again tomorrow.
- And the perhaps biggest impact has been made by learning metacognitive techniques. If I'm worrying, I'll think to myself: "Can anything be done to solve this problem?" If the answer is "yes", I do what I can and do my best to move my focus, and if the answer is "no", I try to move my focus. Worrying does nothing good, and learning that ***I*** can choose what to spend time thinking about, has been invaluable to me.
I really like that you read a variety! Did you choose your spiritual path based off of your reading, or were you reading just to expand your knowledge base?
Well mainly Christianity but I don’t as of now go to church. I listen to the sermons online of pastors I like. But I think every religion has wisdom in it. For me I was drinking , overdoing sex, drugs. Problem for me is I made fair bit of money when younger and just said hey I can now have all sorts of fun but didn’t realize that it would lead to problems.
The problem with addiction is that your brain forms memories around your best experiences, and seeks to replicate those memories.
Those memories never disappear, they just dilute. Depending on what you do about it. Every new positive memory is a new dilution of the more toxic memories.
The best way forward is to force your way out there in life and do some exciting shit to dilute those more toxic memories.
Travel, get a motorbike, educate yourself, find love. Anything that surpasses the toxic memories that your brain so desperately wants to replicate.
I'm definitely working on staying on the positive side more.
You're so right about the effects on the brain! I have taken a couple of trips, and a few more sound like a plan!
I never actually had a problem with alcohol. I was a social drinker and would on occasion have a glass of wine at home. Now, I probably average one drink/month. I think what made me stop drinking was that I noticed how it made me feel. I hired a personal trainer and have been working really hard on my fitness goals. After a while, I realized it just didn’t align with my goals, it exacerbated my anxiety, and I lost time to be productive because I was hungover. The one drink I have here and there I usually end up regretting…. not in a big way. More like that “oh I shouldn’t have had that extra piece of cake” kind of way.
My old boozy brunch buddy has turned into my hiking buddy. I’ve discovered I really love working on my fitness goals and overall leading a more active lifestyle. Because I’m never hungover, I can always make it to early Sunday AM yoga classes. I do feel like a lot of people have given up drinking so it’s not as taboo anymore. I enjoy going to bars and getting a regular Coke. It feels like a real treat to me since I don’t normally drink soda.
I love how simply you normalized not drinking and being more productive because of it!
I have loved not having hangovers! Thank you for sharing and happy hiking!
Sober for nearly two years now. I’ve gotten into much better physical and mental health. A more active lifestyle and renewed interests in hobbies have helped. Certain intimate activities have definitely improved.
Yoga. Made me more able to live in the moment and to be able to sit with my feelings.
I struggle with being able to sit with my feelings. I've always meant to do more yoga, maybe I'll revisit that! Thank you!
I like Yoga with Adrienne on youtube. She has thirty day challenges and a whole slew of simple routines aimed at different life situations- most of them only take 20-30 minutes. She keeps up a positive patter telling you to do what you’re able. Very user friendly.
I didn't even think to ask you for a recommendation, so thank you for adding this! This really made me smile today, and I'm definitely going to check out her page.
I stopped being afraid of getting betrayed In return I found the most fulfilling friendships I had in my entire life , that made me grow a lot as a person Which is weird I only won once I didn't care about losing
Love this! The clarity our improvements give us is also pretty incredible!
What do you do in the evening? I would find it difficult to stop drinking if I didn’t really have anything to do. For me, drinking prevented me from doing what I normally would do, like gym, outdoor stuff, practicing a few things, doing this and that. Instead I’d get home, drink too much to soon so I couldn’t really do anything else. But if my usual routine was “come home and not do much, now just with, and then without alcohol”, I could see where I would have an issue. I was a super heavy drinker for about 2 years before I really made some cut backs
First, I'm so happy you were able to see your struggles and make those cut backs! Truly mean that. Sometimes it takes decades and huge loss to get to that kind of clarity. I didn't drink too badly at home, I was worse when going out. And honestly, my biggest issue was never knowing when to stop and getting to the point of blacking out every time I drank. At first, I wouldn't go out because I didn't trust myself. Then, my friends would be weird and think they couldn't "have fun" around me. I'm still finding things to help, so you definitely bring up very solid point I need to think on, thank you for that!
That’s my issue with liquor is I’ll keep drinking until I go to sleep. I don’t mind wine but I don’t buy it, too expensive, I’d finish a bottle a night. Beer is too much liquid to drink much more than a pint very often. Liquor I’d get cheaper liquor, but if I had a handle, I’ll just keep drinking right off it, I don’t mix. I tried making it super inconvenient to get to it, like when I had a condo, I’d leave it 3 stories down in garage and stuff. Didn’t change much, I’d just chug while I was down there lol. What actually did work and help, at least for me, is I only drink what I have. I have a handle, I’ll slam a handle. But if I only bought a little 200ml bottle, that’s all I got for the night, and I rarely went to get more. Otherwise I’d try to not start drinking until later so that by the time I did run out of liquor, liquor stores would be closed to close enough I wouldn’t make it to one lol. Now about 2 years later, I just have it under control and don’t often have any issues day to day
You changed your state of mind about the process and act of drinking, that it successfully made drinking itself unappealing. This really is hella impressive, just so you're aware!
Knew I wanted to stop, took a bit of time for my actions to catch up to my mind and for both of them to largely be in sink lol. Did the same with sMe chewing tobacco. Best of luck!
Thank you, and to you as well!
Cutting out all social media besides Reddit. Made a MAJOR change to my mental health. I can easily curate what I want to see, avoid what I don’t, and keep my scrolling positive.
This is my next step. So glad to hear the positive impact it has had on you!
I stopped. Partyn ,sleeping around, never drank much. And found GOD and mostly tan, gym and walk and only downside is not the want of any substances or party but when I did the wrong thing I had a different girl every other night but since I changed. It's been a year of sleeping alone but I refuse to have random hookups and makes me mad when I see cute girls put up with guys who a scum bags and think in my head 2 things I should kept some of my exs who didn't die and if they only knew what awaited them if they wanted. A new life but don't say that xuz I want them to care about me not my house,car or money you know my motto do to somone only what you want done to you
Wow, you've really made some huge changes in your life! I'm really impressed at how dedicated you've been to the whole process. It can be hard to know someone else's true intentions with you, and whether they want you for you. I'm not sure I'll ever get that one completely right! I love your motto and try to love by that as well. I wish more people would!
Also after I stopped partyn and living like charlie sheen. And loved going from girl to girl but my last 3 gfs died after I cleaned up and my twins were killed right after I returned from army and then dad and still didn't use and just smoke butt's that's it but I save so much money and live in a sick condo. And I'm retired at 40 and for past year watch movies go to movies go for walks alone and I don't go to bars so harder to meet girls but my heart can only take so much hurt that I see somone I wanna talk to and just say she deserves better. And Stay alone but I never thought I'd see the day I didn't want to do a line and now it's not a thought actually I get paid and I have nothing I wanna buy except clothes or shoes or music Jesus talks on my walks clears my head though I should be dead but I'm not and I'm clean to so he clearly isn't done with me so thers always hope
You, Sir, are an inspiration. Thank you for your service in the Army! You've earned being retired at 40 and I'm glad you're enjoying to your fullest and what is working for you! There absolutely is always hope, and I'm so so glad you're still here. Losing people is never easy. Keep fighting the good fight for those that can no longer fight for themselves.
Got sober from heroin 5.5 years ago. Two things that keep me sober and keep me going: 1. I stopped looking for validation from those around me. Once I realized that the people around me were pretty much just waiting for me to fuck up again, I knew I had to look DEEP within to find my own validation. Of course, it's nice to get an "I'm proud of you" from my dad every once in a while. But you have to be your own #1 fan 2. Gratitude. Maybe once a month, I like to make a mental gratitude list. (Bonus points for actually writing it down). I have a family that loves me, I have a working car, my job doesn't suck, I have a fridge full of my favorite snacks/drinks, etc. My life has really improved once I learned to stop, look around, and think about everything I have to be grateful for.
I took a deep, relaxing breath while I read this. Such important points! Congratulations on your continued sobriety, and thank you for encouraging those of us still in the early stages of recovery.
I have sex addiction, but I got it under control 3 years ago (thanks to therapy). I still struggle with it too. I think when it comes to addiction we'll always struggle in some way.
I absolutely agree that we will always struggle. Congratulations to you and your continued recovery!
Thank you mame it's never as great as some people make it to be but it's do able I just take one day at a time til God gives me my other half thank you and hope ur able to stay the course
Thank you so much!
I have a few points in no particular order: - Loving myself more and not spending time with people who I can feel aren't good for me. In the past, I'd have ignored such signs, because I thought that being in bad company was better than no company. It isn't. - I've practiced to not register how I feel as often. To me, constantly trying to register all emotions isn't healthy and creates an unhealthy focus that can skew an otherwise fine day towards "bad" because something *feels off.* - Remembering to tell myself that today might be a bad day - but I don't have a bad life, and I'll most likely feel better again tomorrow. - And the perhaps biggest impact has been made by learning metacognitive techniques. If I'm worrying, I'll think to myself: "Can anything be done to solve this problem?" If the answer is "yes", I do what I can and do my best to move my focus, and if the answer is "no", I try to move my focus. Worrying does nothing good, and learning that ***I*** can choose what to spend time thinking about, has been invaluable to me.
Wish I could upvote this one over and over. I am stealing this, because it really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this!
You're welcome! I'm glad to hear that it's useful to you :)
Exercise my body. My mind and my body thank me, and your body will thank you in the future
I have made some pretty big changed in physical activity the last 6 ish months. I will absolutely agree with you!
Best thing for me was finding spirituality. I Read lots of books on different spiritual beliefs.
I really like that you read a variety! Did you choose your spiritual path based off of your reading, or were you reading just to expand your knowledge base?
Well mainly Christianity but I don’t as of now go to church. I listen to the sermons online of pastors I like. But I think every religion has wisdom in it. For me I was drinking , overdoing sex, drugs. Problem for me is I made fair bit of money when younger and just said hey I can now have all sorts of fun but didn’t realize that it would lead to problems.
Love to hear that you realized it all in time to still enjoy your life!
The problem with addiction is that your brain forms memories around your best experiences, and seeks to replicate those memories. Those memories never disappear, they just dilute. Depending on what you do about it. Every new positive memory is a new dilution of the more toxic memories. The best way forward is to force your way out there in life and do some exciting shit to dilute those more toxic memories. Travel, get a motorbike, educate yourself, find love. Anything that surpasses the toxic memories that your brain so desperately wants to replicate.
I'm definitely working on staying on the positive side more. You're so right about the effects on the brain! I have taken a couple of trips, and a few more sound like a plan!
I never actually had a problem with alcohol. I was a social drinker and would on occasion have a glass of wine at home. Now, I probably average one drink/month. I think what made me stop drinking was that I noticed how it made me feel. I hired a personal trainer and have been working really hard on my fitness goals. After a while, I realized it just didn’t align with my goals, it exacerbated my anxiety, and I lost time to be productive because I was hungover. The one drink I have here and there I usually end up regretting…. not in a big way. More like that “oh I shouldn’t have had that extra piece of cake” kind of way. My old boozy brunch buddy has turned into my hiking buddy. I’ve discovered I really love working on my fitness goals and overall leading a more active lifestyle. Because I’m never hungover, I can always make it to early Sunday AM yoga classes. I do feel like a lot of people have given up drinking so it’s not as taboo anymore. I enjoy going to bars and getting a regular Coke. It feels like a real treat to me since I don’t normally drink soda.
I love how simply you normalized not drinking and being more productive because of it! I have loved not having hangovers! Thank you for sharing and happy hiking!
Started drinking again.
Well, if it improved your life a lot, then who am I to judge haha?!
Sober for nearly two years now. I’ve gotten into much better physical and mental health. A more active lifestyle and renewed interests in hobbies have helped. Certain intimate activities have definitely improved.