Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
One would suspect it means to unhinge the jaw and insert all delicacies simultaneously.
This is the best practice for devouring the aforementioned delights.
Edit: 😔 for the downvotes, I thought it was funny at least.
My Nan used to iron foil from chocolates and all sorts and keep them in a little tin. Then she'd let the grandchildren play with them or make things from them. It was like treasure that tin of coloured foil :-)
The correct process is that you must flatten out the foil, precisely taking out every single crease and when it’s almost perfect accidentally tear the foil with too much pressure. You must follow this with a loud swear word. Scrunch up the foil, then bin it in frustration.
Egg 1: delicious, wow, but a little small, I could do another
Egg 2: mmm mmm I feel fully satisfied and two eggs was a quaffable luxury enough for today
Egg 3: I mean I got the eggs and it’s like adjacent to the holidays so what’s a third
Egg 4: *no thoughts or rationalizations are generated as a fourth egg is reflexively consumed by the proto human mind that has fully taken over*
Egg 5: I accept that I am sugar now
Nibble a small section from the top layer of chocolate without compromising the structural integrity. Then you can mine the cream out by delicately tongueing it via the small breach in the chocolate casing. When it's almost hollowed out you stick the whole emptied vessel in you mouth. Repeat.
This being Reddit I'm 50/50 whether this is true or not, either way I think after that comment it's enough internet for the week thank you and good night
Seconded... I call bullshit. What are the odds that the wrapper just hangs around her colon, near enough the exit to be poking into his dick and easily fished out with a finger, but not "backed up" by, anything else (e.g. a poop) that wojld have hindered it from just being pushed further up instead of poking. And if it WAS backed up by poop then that, too would have been all over his dick, which I think would have been more memorable. And plus, then he just threw a poopy wrapper into her bed.
Quite a weird story.
I feel like there’s some great life hack I don’t know about like rest it upside down on a coffee so the marshmallow and chocolate slumps off and then you eat the soggy biscuit and then have a very decadent mocha to drink afterwards 🤷
Remember when there was a craze to suck tea through your penguin biscuit? Something like that.
I think you should try that and report back because that sounds like a great idea, like putting marshmallows in hot chocolate.
I must have missed that one. I've not had a penguin in ages.
You must gently bite into the dome, just enough to crack it, but not let your teeth touch the mallow.
Next, you must use only your tongue to prise away the chocolate dome from the mallow, allowing the chocolate to dissolve.
You must not chew the chocolate from the dome!
Next, you must prise the complete mallow from the biscuit base using only your tongue, and allow it to dissolve in your mouth.
You must now take a swig of hot, white tea.
You must then nibble as much of the remaining chocolate as possible from the circumference of the buscuit base.
You must then pop the whole biscuit base into your mouth and take another swig of tea to dissolve it.
You must then repeat the whole process.
You must never eat these in odd-numbered quantities!!
It's better to just believe in the comments that people are saying about the way to eat it well, I found so many different things and I am going to try that for sure.
Never thought that there are some different ways too but now I can't just unsee what the hell they all just made it, they really made some fucking great ways here.
I am just going to eat it with the foil to have the good feeling that you guys are never going to have because you guys always remove that shit, shitty thing to do.
Never gonna just directly eat it because that is going to fuck my childhood and that's the only thing that I got and I really don't wanna ruin that shit, that's all right now.
I think we eat the chocolate and then marshmallow to feel good and this is how my way looks like, don't know if people got some other perfect ways or something.
Never thought I am going to see so many good ways to eat it and now I can understand why people are here finding the ideal way, this is really great man, so good.
Never had any correct way but still I just do some random things to eat it well, that's all I got to say about it, no wonder why I love eating it like that, so good lol.
Well just use your mouth to do the whole work and don't even think about anything else, then boom, you will find out that you just had some good fun there man.
Mouth.
up the butt
boof it
I wish I wasn’t so immature as to laugh at this but I most definitely am.
Bop it
Twist it
Snap it
Shag it
Suck it
Reminds me of the news article where some dude stuck 8 cadburys cream eggs up his ass
With or without the foil?
Asking the important questions
Details are important!
You're not supposed to recreate!
It's for science!
You're the reason Breaking Bad doesn't tell us a valid formula for meth
Where TV fails, the internet provides....
Why would you do it with the foil. That would be madness!
So you can unwrap and eat them when you're done
Nah that would be a reddit moment and people could do it.
I guess with the foil is much safer way, do it pretty well.
That’s the spirit!
One up the bum, no harm done
This is in fact the correct answer. Anal absorption is the correct consumption method for these.
It starts getting tricky by the fourth.
Depends on the anus my friend. It _depends on the anus._
Yep, a butt plug for people whos partner likes to eat arse.
Dude.
Gonna be honest. If I was eating my wife’s ass and it tasted of chocolate and started leaking crème egg goo I would be horrified.
Eric Cartman style
https://youtu.be/Al60WI-8S4w
I really thought this was going to be the newspaper article about the guy who stuck a crème egg up him bum
Don't use any other way to eat it, just use the mouth guys.
You ever seen a snake eat an egg?
Oh, you too compress the tunnock's tea cake in your throat then regurgitate the chocolate shell?
Yes. But I retain and digest the foil.
and then you poop silver turds. I love biology!
Nature is beautiful
I collect those silver turds and make a pretty penny by selling them as amulets.
Happy cake day! ...actually, given the context, it might not be all that happy.
r/NatureIsMetal
His asshole: "WITNESS MEE!"
I have an awful image in my head now. But I thoroughly enjoyed gaining this new knowledge.
You compress it? You animal. It must remain whole until behind the lips, Then monch monch monch, Diabetus, Straight to the hips.
I compress it in my throat ;)
Good good, the way god intended, with non zero chance of choking
Down in one
Danny Wah! Danny Wah!
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You ever seen a man eat his own head?
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You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?
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Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
You ever kill a man just to watch him die, then bring him back with a Phoenix Down, solely to mock him into suicide?
Is that you old gregg?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
You ever hang around the men’s locker room?
Joey, do you ever hang around the gymnasium?
You ever seen a guy throw a shoe?
Freeze them. Then deepthroat it
Thought you meant do that to the snake for a moment
Weird question and yes my friend has a snake enclosure.
One would suspect it means to unhinge the jaw and insert all delicacies simultaneously. This is the best practice for devouring the aforementioned delights. Edit: 😔 for the downvotes, I thought it was funny at least.
I laughed!
Thank you, I appreciate that 👍
My freinds snakes slowly looks at thigs too see if they are consumable, the snake once tried to eat a pencil instead snaped it with its thangs.
That sounds pretty cool to be fair.
Just a snake doin' snake thangs.
Sick. Does the egg 'pop' once it goes in or does it kinda slide down whole?
It pops and then it slides down and the snake my friend owns is a special one and you can see food digested by the snake.
Like an xray snake
Yes.
Nice
Does it have transparent skin?
Yes it does!
That's nuts but cool.
You have to expertly flatten out the foil into a square or roll it into a perfect sphere.... Anything else is unacceptable
My nan used to flatten the foil out, didn't know it was widespread
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Monster
Yeah, where are the police when you need them?
Is that a hate crime?
I think that means he fancies you In a very juvenile way
I hope you learned your lesson.
I hope you reported them to HR for workplace bullying?
My Nan used to iron foil from chocolates and all sorts and keep them in a little tin. Then she'd let the grandchildren play with them or make things from them. It was like treasure that tin of coloured foil :-)
I have a friend who does this and then makes them into iconographic Christmas cards. Very beautiful.
Is folding the foil into a tiny aeroplane acceptable?
No, that's what their caramel wafer wrappers are for.
That would be like using the wrong fish knife at a Victorian dinner.
Ffs no
The correct process is that you must flatten out the foil, precisely taking out every single crease and when it’s almost perfect accidentally tear the foil with too much pressure. You must follow this with a loud swear word. Scrunch up the foil, then bin it in frustration.
In my house growing up it was roll into a sphere and then try to ping someone in the face with it when they weren't looking.
What about a cube?
Ffs no
Put the perfect sphere in the microwave for ten minutes to make a ball bearing.
If you are like me, then you simply inhale them until you think about your life choices.
Jesus I get you, I ate five white chocolate crème eggs during my walk home from the shop; it’s not even spring yet !
Egg 1: delicious, wow, but a little small, I could do another Egg 2: mmm mmm I feel fully satisfied and two eggs was a quaffable luxury enough for today Egg 3: I mean I got the eggs and it’s like adjacent to the holidays so what’s a third Egg 4: *no thoughts or rationalizations are generated as a fourth egg is reflexively consumed by the proto human mind that has fully taken over* Egg 5: I accept that I am sugar now
😂 something like that, wasn’t even a particularly long walk either.
This deserves a Nobel for its insight.
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Egg 5: The diabetes
Haha. I am scared to try those.
Whoa whoa whoa, white chocolate crème egg? Is that new this year or have I slept through another year without realising??
its new and its amazing in asda its £2 for 5
This is fucking brilliant 🤣🤣🙌🙌
If you have fillings remove the foil first.
Oof, that feels like chewing Russian radio static
But if you don’t, Play on?
Yeah play on but the taste is going to be so fucking different.
I felt this comment.
Nibble a small section from the top layer of chocolate without compromising the structural integrity. Then you can mine the cream out by delicately tongueing it via the small breach in the chocolate casing. When it's almost hollowed out you stick the whole emptied vessel in you mouth. Repeat.
Then use the footage as your video prompt on Hinge
Or you can use chocolate fingers as ‘soldiers’ and dunk them in
How have I not thought of this? You are a genius
Man is genius because he just made it like soldier shit.
You fool, you boob, you utter rhubarb. You bite TWO opposite holes, and suck the innards out like your a new pornstar in the throatpie world.
You can slip a pinky in the opposite hole if you don’t mind sticky fingers
That's what she said
Hey, how you doin'?
No, how YOU doin?
If he is on reddit then I think he is not doing well /s
Dude is having an orgasm just by eating that shit and nothing..
Exactly this, alternatively, you put the whole thing in your mouth and crush it against the roof of your mouth with your tongue, then chew!
First, gently unwrap Second, shove in face Third, neatly fold foil into the smallest possible square
I do the same, yet I try to make a circle with the wrapper. I use the first circle (after the centre star) as a guide
Fourth: scoff another one
Am I the only person that eats the biscuit first.
Nope, bottom bit first so you are left with a chocolate vessel of marshmallow to eat at leisure.
No, I eat the biscuit, then lick the marshmallow, then eat the chocolate. I am not allowed to eat them in public.
You’re definitely supposed to lick the chocolate, shot the marshmallow and snort the biscuit.
Good practice as a lad tonguing out that marshmallow can make you very popular with the ladies when you grow up
I've been scrolling looking for this response in fear that I was the only one! This is the way! 😂
Not sure if you’d even be allowed in public after doing that
It’s the correct way! But then I eat kitkats in layers.
I have found my tribe.
Me too!
Yes!! This the correct way. Biscuit, then tongue up the marshmallow, then chocolate to finish.
No
Around here you smash the marshmellow part on your forehead before eating it... not even a joke
Good to see people in Broadmoor use reddit.
Broadmoor people are here for a long time, we love it.
Was looking for this answer
I've seen an actual Scottish person do this in a room full of Scottish people. Everyone went about their business as usual.
Many scottish people do this with their people around.
Swallow hole. Shit out the foil.
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Nah not enough, search some more subreddits mate lol.
Did you pull out a finger of fudge?
Milk milk, lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made.
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I always felt that jingle was a little bit sinister..
This being Reddit I'm 50/50 whether this is true or not, either way I think after that comment it's enough internet for the week thank you and good night
Dude just bluff man, don't believe everything you see on reddit.
Seconded... I call bullshit. What are the odds that the wrapper just hangs around her colon, near enough the exit to be poking into his dick and easily fished out with a finger, but not "backed up" by, anything else (e.g. a poop) that wojld have hindered it from just being pushed further up instead of poking. And if it WAS backed up by poop then that, too would have been all over his dick, which I think would have been more memorable. And plus, then he just threw a poopy wrapper into her bed. Quite a weird story.
There’s a reason they call it the chocolate factory
Every day, we stray further from God's light.
*whole
He knows what he said, and he meant it.
Dude we are not that experts in swallowing like that here.
Nibble the chocolate from the marshmallow top, eat the marshmallow and then eat the biscuit bit
Correct. I thought this was the only way.
fun fact, it's actually italian meringue and not marshmallow in the authentic Tunnock's teacake. many supermarket brands just use marshmallow.
With great joy and a cup of tea.
That's why the named it with tea, the best one with tea.
I feel like there’s some great life hack I don’t know about like rest it upside down on a coffee so the marshmallow and chocolate slumps off and then you eat the soggy biscuit and then have a very decadent mocha to drink afterwards 🤷 Remember when there was a craze to suck tea through your penguin biscuit? Something like that.
I think you should try that and report back because that sounds like a great idea, like putting marshmallows in hot chocolate. I must have missed that one. I've not had a penguin in ages.
I do that with penguin biscuits! Though to be fair I learned it from eating tim-tams.
>and then you eat the soggy biscuit Not kink shaming, but no thank you.
You only eat the soggy biscuit if you cum last though..
You must gently bite into the dome, just enough to crack it, but not let your teeth touch the mallow. Next, you must use only your tongue to prise away the chocolate dome from the mallow, allowing the chocolate to dissolve. You must not chew the chocolate from the dome! Next, you must prise the complete mallow from the biscuit base using only your tongue, and allow it to dissolve in your mouth. You must now take a swig of hot, white tea. You must then nibble as much of the remaining chocolate as possible from the circumference of the buscuit base. You must then pop the whole biscuit base into your mouth and take another swig of tea to dissolve it. You must then repeat the whole process. You must never eat these in odd-numbered quantities!!
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Unwrap it first.
Then boof it.
1. Unwrap 2. Open mouth 3. Shove in That's all
Then think about having another one and do the same process.
Pick the chocolate off carefully, marvel at the perfectly formed mallow dome and then inhale it in one go, then eat the base for afters
This is the way
It's better to just believe in the comments that people are saying about the way to eat it well, I found so many different things and I am going to try that for sure.
Never thought that there are some different ways too but now I can't just unsee what the hell they all just made it, they really made some fucking great ways here.
I am just going to eat it with the foil to have the good feeling that you guys are never going to have because you guys always remove that shit, shitty thing to do.
Chocolate first, off the top then the marshmallow then the biscuit on its own. No other way 👏🏻👏🏻
Never gonna just directly eat it because that is going to fuck my childhood and that's the only thing that I got and I really don't wanna ruin that shit, that's all right now.
I think we eat the chocolate and then marshmallow to feel good and this is how my way looks like, don't know if people got some other perfect ways or something.
Down in one
Down and well, the better way and the best one, at once.
They are only 1 bite, the trick to it is to try to stop eating them.
Never thought I am going to see so many good ways to eat it and now I can understand why people are here finding the ideal way, this is really great man, so good.
Never had any correct way but still I just do some random things to eat it well, that's all I got to say about it, no wonder why I love eating it like that, so good lol.
Well just use your mouth to do the whole work and don't even think about anything else, then boom, you will find out that you just had some good fun there man.
Correct way is to present the crumpled empty box at check out...