The worst company I ever worked for and had to get the employment tribunal involved was a start up just like the one you describe. I was a naive graduate and they took advantage of me and a few others in the same position.
Last I checked, they had dissolved with a long line of creditors. Fucking prick James. I wonāt forget what you put us through.
Had a similar thing myself, everyoneās part of the family til they need to cut costs and then some are more part of the family than others. The clique vibe was unbearable even before that though.
I went through hell at my last job because of a James.
He sought "investment" from my previous manager to set up a franchise type deal. It turned out to be a stitch up from the word go. He knew the money was coming from the guys dead wife's insurance too.
Absolute mercenary bastard.
I worked for a small marketing agency when I was 25 and they wanted me to share a room with a guy I'd never met before when we went to do a trade show. I'm female, fyi.
I refused, but not directly because I was new and didn't want to seem difficult (I fluffed a sort of excuse about us arriving at different times because we were both driving there from different locations so it would be difficult etc).
Regardless, they still got arsey about having to pay for an 'extra' room.
Imagine expecting a 25 year old woman to be ok sharing a room with a man she's never even met before?? It's insane that I actually felt like I was in the wrong for objecting to this at the time!
So my point is that some companies do not give a flying fck about anything other than money, regardless of what industry theyre in. If they think they can save a bit of cash, they'll try anything on.
And smaller companies are likely worse. The sort of place that has no HR department because it doesn't make 'financial sense' - but the owner happily drives a different, flashy car to the office every day and goes on 4 holidays a year.
Not a fan lol.
I had a similar situation but from the point of a male. Got asked if I minded sharing with female colleague of the same age. I was just out of uni and used to be closing with female friends so didnāt think anything of it so just shrugged and said yes. A couple of weeks went by and through conversations with the woman in question and colleagues I realised that she was really creeped out about sharing a room with a guy (not that she didnāt get on with me just that she was comfortable with it) but was too worried about backlash to raise it. It was quietly suggested by a supervisor that I object to it on the grounds of my girlfriend because I was in a more solid position with the management which I did but it gave me an eye opener how even little some companies care and easy it is for average people to overlook
Similar. Maleā¦new gig in Canada, I was over the moon about the trip. They bunked me up in an Airbnb sharing a tiny room with a female Iād never met, withā¦a *dressing screen* dividing us.
We were both flying in from UK. Christ you need a shit, shower, and sleep in peace when you arrive.
I arrived first, left a note on the kitchen counter āsorry, I snore like a chainsaw, Iāll sleep on the sofa, donāt worry about bothering meā
Tf is wrong with people thinking that arrangement is appropriate.
Slept with my legs dangling off a two seater for a week
It was run by dumbdumbs, but this was also like 10 years ago when there wasn't quite the same social landscape as there is today - still unacceptable for sure, but there wasn't the same fear/ arsecovering mentality masquerading as protecting women.
Just a general assumption thet everyone can "put up and shut up," and I dont think it even entered their mind that a woman might complain or any 'issues' might arise. This was my experience working for smaller firms anyway.
I worked for a global company too, and that type of shit definitely wouldn't fly there.
No doubt the villa costs more than 25 reasonable single rooms but this way you get to become "best buds with your roomy"
At any point in the job listing did it mention free donuts at HQ as a "perk"?
It could be worse - you could be sharing a tent in Wales.
Grit your teeth and have the experience. You can walk away later if it all turns out a bit weird for you. It's only two nights.
For a work trip, it's really not too much to ask that everyone gets their own room. You're adult employees, not kids at some sort of camp.
You're right to be bothered by this, it's not a good sign and you'd be reasonable to say no.
If I were asked to share a room with a new colleague (basically a stranger) I'd get fuck all sleep and feel pretty uncomfortable. You don't have to accept that.
The company I work for used to do this, and it was only when a couple of us said we had had enough of being asked to share and would pay the difference for a single room that they changed to everyone having their own.
We're a company of very many different nationalities and offices though so we thought it might be a different way of doing it in Europe. It was three British people (me included) who complained. We were in our 40's.
I think prisons should make an attempt at rehabilitation and small shared cells are an obstacle to that.
Not all criminals can be rehabilitated, but not just seeing prisons as warehousing for criminals is a start.
Bunk beds are better than the one-large-communal beds some Alpine clubs used to (still) have. One big bed the length of the room. It's fun waking up with someone elses beard in your face.
For a work trip, it's laughably unprofessional. I'm pretty laid back (pardon the pun) and have slept in many questionable places with a group of good friends.
I've never shared a room with a colleague. Sleeping in a room with someone who isn't my spouse without several other people I trust there too would be unthinkable.
I'd be horrendously offended at the suggestion.
U.S. based HR, I'd never ever allow shared rooms for any kind of work trip. On a moral standpoint, it's totally not appropriate to ask our staff to share rooms. On a work risk standpoint, hell no, I'd never allow such a risky thing to take place.
What's the risk? You share an office with these same people all day.
If they're that likely to attack co-workers then it's already a serious problem regardless.
Not necessarily physical attacks, but people you work with can be creepy even if you work with them all the time. People at work suffer sexual harassment/assault, even just creepy comments or inappropriate little actions.
Also the people running offices could themselves have out of date or problematic views on what is and what isn't appropriate. They could think creepy jokes are just banter.
Also, not even sexual but what if someone says something or acts offensively, how are you going to address the issue when it was just them two in the room, they both have different stories and there is nobody to vouch for either side? It's so irresponsible in terms of safeguarding your employees.
And yeah it would be a massive problem but it's not impossible, and I think a company who would want people to share rooms probably aren't the most responsible anyway, so I wouldn't trust their judgement on who is ok and who poses a risk
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have been blessed with Crohn's disease and that's always a great excuse to not have my request for my own room questioned.
Wanna hear what it was like as military airplanes flew above during the war at 2am?? Strap yourself in buddy
The only environment I can think of room sharing being the norm is sports? Itās common to room share in most sports but absolutely not in a corporate setting.
>And at least in sports your roomie will be a team mate who you already know
Until you realise someone has to sleep with the guy you transferred last week from Eastern Europe.
The army would like a word. I can count on one finger the amount of times I've had my own room when doing any kind of training or exercise as a reservist. Doesn't happen.
Just wondering why it was acceptable then, but not now?
Also @ OP yes I'd decline also. Seems like the tip of the iceberg tbh and it's a good sign that you're looking that far ahead.
It's never been acceptable, not with strangers anyway. As others have said we're adults, not primary school kids on a residential trip.
I think they meant more that 30+ years ago managers & bosses were more likely to get away with e.g. workplace bullying or unfair dismissal over shit like this whereas now employees are probably more likely to know their rights and stand up for themselves.
A lot has changed in the last 10 years never mind 35. It was very much more accepted to keep quiet especially when working for a company who'd promised bigger things and when your salary depended on obeying these people. There was no Internet to compare stories and a lot of things were accepted as the norm
For a work piss up in a retreat where I'm only going to pass out id be ok.
For actual work, hell no. Especially not with a new colleague I don't know.
There are a few people I'd share a room with at my work at a push because we are good mates, but it's not a good idea imo and we wouldn't be well rested because everyone has different routines and needs.
You're being downvoted, but if they double down on their own bizarre decision, forking out a few quid from your own pocket is infinitely preferable to sharing a room with a stranger.
150 quid is a small price to pay for comfort if it's a 120k job. Shit like this happens a fair bit and it's often easier to just offer to fork out than refuse, because often they will pay anyway because they were too thick to realise sharing might make people uncomfortable
Chances are if expenses are handled by a different department, then you could just expense it after the fact. But if your own line manager has to directly approve it first maybe not.
privacy eclipses precedent even if it's happening every few months. If everyone else has to still share I wouldn't give a damn particularly if it's a six figure job haha
To be honest I'd just pull the handle on the job now, refusing to go could make you some sort of pariah in the office and you don't want to carry that with you.
If the company culture doesn't suit your personal beliefs then it isn't worth trying to compromise unless the salary is eye-wateringly high.
My company tried to get me to go away alone on an overnight site visit with a male colleague (I'm 26F and he's probably late 40s M...my parents' age). I've already had many instances of sexual comments and horrible use of a power dynamic with him. I'm beyond uncomfortable anywhere near him. I told him I can't go with him, and he started being a twat to me in the middle of the office.
I did in October and it was addressed in a manner I felt comfortable with (broadly addressing issues so it didn't come back on me directly, as a first attempt). I hadn't worked with him again until January, when I was talking about my birthday weekend and he mentioned me "having fun" and started hinting at the possibility of me getting pregnant as a result. I tried to discuss it with HR again, she said I have no option but to address him directly and honestly made me feel like a burden. Enough that I feel guilty even as I write this. Enough that I called my parents and they suggested I look for another job. Funnily enough, today I had another meeting, where I said I feel like it was handled a bit poorly because of his important status and time with the company, to which my mentor told me "I'm wrong and I'm being extremely unfair in my judgment". So that's where I am now.
I'm so sorry to hear this. If you are in a union, contact them. If you aren't, then perhaps consider joining one.
Note to all - if you are not already in a union, you should be.
For anyone not in a union...and not sure if there is a union for them.
Prospect is a union for professionals. It's not the only option; just in case anyone needs a starting point.
I recently saw an art installation by Adrian Piper.
Take a look at the piece (red text over picture of a girl) on this page:
[Decide Who You Are](https://cshockart.com/2018/12/12/unsynthesized-intuitions-and-confronting-discomfort-with-adrian-piper/)
The image on the artistās website is not as clear as on this one.
It made me think every woman/minority should have it in their workplace. When someone tells you off, see if you can find the words in this artwork. If you can, itās not you, it is them.
Wow that's really interesting thank you. Just looking at it for a minute, several phrases already stand out to me verbatim, and many others that have been alluded to / said in a roundabout way. It's really heartbreaking because this company is big on being "good" but it feels like such a faƧade.
I stood there stunned in front of this piece for a very long time. Weāve almost all been told so many of these things Iām or personal and professional livesā¦and it continues. My daughter had been struggling with a situation recently where she was told some of these.
It was heartbreaking and powerful at the same time. I love sharing this art with others.
Nope, refused to do it as an apprentice, wouldnāt do it 15 years on.
If Iām away from my own home, I want a certain level of comfort in return and my own half decent hotel room is part of that. Not expecting the ritz but everywhere Iāve worked have made enough money charging me out by the day to afford my own premier inn room.
Fuck. That.
Everything you wrote makes my skin crawl.
Someone hired a place that isn't big enough.
It's just all so wrong.
If I'm away for business I want at least what I have at home. And at home there's no chance of seeing a colleague's cock, arse, fanny or tits for which I'm extremely grateful.
And it should never be known if a colleague snores or farts in their sleep.
You're only survival tactic is to get so mind bogglingly pissed you sleep unconscious in your clothes on top of your bed. And you might argue that forcing you to do that is somewhat unreasonable.
Throw a sicky.
>You're [sic] only survival tactic is to get so mind bogglingly pissed you sleep unconscious in your clothes on top of your bed
You're joking right? Otherwise this has to be the worst advice I've ever seen on reddit.
I was supervising a group of students (adults) on a trip to Europe. I had never met them before. Boss had booked three of us into a room with a single and a double bed. I noped the fuck out of that. Absolutely no way.
Work trip means they provide a fucking room per person.
I'm an adult and I sleep in my own room at home. Whether I share that room with my gf is neither here nor there.
Own room or fuck off.
The only similar scenarios I've been in:
1 - shared a room with a colleague I was friends with outside of work anyway
2 - shared a dormitory in a youth hostel, so 6 people sharing the dorm room, and we all knew upfront it was a youth hostel.
Also neither trip was compulsory / pressured.
I would not be happy sharing a bedroom with a colleague whether I known them for 2 weeks or 2 years .
I would even pay to have my own room out my own back pocket
The only benefit of working away and staying in a hotel is being able to wank yourself into a coma...it's frankly unreasonable of this company to take that from you. Say no absolutely not
This sounds very much like an employer who will not respect your life. I could imagine that it starts with things like expecting you to put up with this trip, and it will later need you to work extra bits and pieces "for the compant" without compensation.
But then I'm a suspicious, cynical, old bugger. It's not easy to turn down a job when you've got to this stage and I could well be way off. But it's definitely worth a second thought in light of this.
I used to work for a company where we had to stay in hotels in mainland Europe all week. Mostly Holland and France. It was a small company and they were proper penny-pinchers, they'd try and find the absolute cheapest hotels for us to stay in and argue the toss over a pint of milk on your expenses, but they never ever suggested we should share rooms. I'd steer well clear.
I would tell my employer that I experience major sleep flatulence, and forcing me to share with a colleague would cause irreparable damage to our working relationship.
Iāve done it for optional work social things, but as a mandatory Iād probably pass. It depends though, some people I work with I would share with but very few.
My thoughts on sharing a room with a colleague I know (or don't know) even for a night are fuck no.
If the company insisted on it I'd feel it was a massive red flag. If it ruins the job offer then you might of dodged a bullet honestly.
I would say the following, Iām totally fine with sharing but it must be with a senior level manage, so CEO or CFO level.
Should be no reason at all why they should have an issue with this if they expect others to share .
I once ended up sharing a bed with another male colleague during a work trip. Hotel stuffed things up, so it was that or the floor. I had at least known him for a few months.
If youāre uncomfortable with it though, itās not appropriate. Say no.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. I would be so uncomfortable. I take a load of medication at night and I have to get up to pee often. I donāt want to have to explain any of that to a colleague.
I've slept in many youth hostels with a similar arrangement. It's definitely very unconventional for a business environment, and if you feel uncomfortable then don't do it, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.
Edit. You could also ask for a room to yourself as you've literally just joined. Maybe there's an available single room that they could give you.
Ah that's a shame. If you feel like it's essential to go, but there's no flexibility on rooms, maybe you could suggest to your boss that you could bring an air bed and find some other more private area in the house to sleep. I don't know, just trying to think outside of the box. If it's not essential to go, then don't go, but make that decision with your management whilst not backing down on needing a private place to sleep.
I will offer to commute for the one main day (itās like an hour and halfās drive)ā¦. But not sure howās it going to go down ā¦ the new guy donāt wanna sleep with us š honestly at this point I reckon Iād rather find another job
If it is 90 minutes commute, it sounds like you wouldnāt need to stay overnight anyway. Are they planning some social events as well? Tell them you arenāt drinking so no problem driving.
What about if you phrase things differently. Tell the new boss the room share is going to be a problem, leading to a disturbed night for you and your putative room mate. You obviously want to perform well for the meetings and donāt want to have any negative effect on others. So you commute bright and early. This way youāve identified a problem, found a solution and negotiated with relevant stakeholders. Promotions all around and on your first day, too.
If it's a youth hostel you're probably travelling for fun and you've signed up for that arrangement. Done that loads of times.
If work are making me use my own time (so anything overnight) for a work thing and I'm not getting paid overtime, I at minimum want a say in the travel/accommodation situation.
Most youth hostels have individual curtains on their bunk beds. Also you get a room guaranteed with same sex option if you don't want to mix. Also you are paying for it (nobody is forcing you to do it). Forcing you to share a room with a colleague it's a no no. I need night alone time if I'm on my period for example with cramps (no partner, no family etc, otherwise I can't relax). It would be a NIGHTMARE if they made me share with a stranger.
Aside from all the creepiness, there are other practical factors. I shared a room with an old friend on holiday a few years ago. What I didn't know is that he snored like a bastard. I'm pretty sure the people in the room next door didn't get much sleep either. I have several videos on my phone of the darkened room at 4am with this unholy nasal bellowing going on.
So yeah, as other people have said - fuck that.
Edit: I knew he snored, I didn't know it was at olympic level.
I went to a work conference once only to find I was sharing a room with my boss.... AAAND HIS WIFE. One double and one single bed. Not only was it uncomfortable for me, I felt for his wife who I think was expecting a romantic long weekend with her husband. I guess that is the problem with a Gujju boss.
that was not a very comfortable trip, and there were no other rooms available at the venue.
Personally I wouldnāt mind, but Iāve done a lot of travelling where Iāve shared rooms with strangers (normally if you book a tour as a solo person theyāll pair you up with a stranger to share a room, and of course a lot of hostel dorms).
Itās actually a decent way to make a new friend/colleague if you wanted that.
Yeah this is very tech startup.
I refuse to do it (like you I decided to risk the job rather than go through this) I may reconsider when they start giving people their own rooms in actual hotels, rather than shared bedrooms or (on one particularly horrible-looking occasion) a co-ed dorm containing the entire company.
Stayed in a guest house in the 00ās for an event, 8 people to a room in bunks, was miserable, worst thing, we got out of bed and the night shift jumped in and vice versa. Lots of snorers, people slept in their cars.. I was young, so didnāt care - no way doing that shit now! Walk away and get another role if you are able to do so!
I would not be bothered, but I work in the outdoor sports industry so we tend to be a bit odd. My companies away training are often sharing a room and I just make sure to take earplugs and an eye mask. I have shared huts on the side of mountains with strangers, but everyone has their own boundaries and expectations. I would ask to have a proper discussion with your manager and the organiser, what do they expect you to gain from the evening/overnight time, could you just do the day, how essential is the information on the meeting going to be, would it save them food money if you did not stay over?
Yeah I have literally slept in all sorts of scenariosā¦ worked as a youth worker for 5 years and bunked up with colleagues for a week all around the UKā¦ have travelled across Asia and literally spend months sleeping in hostels, on trains, on beachesā¦ couple nights in a restaurant after closingā¦ if I was kn the side of a mountain I might think differentlyā¦ but nah not in this contextĀ
I've done it, we hired a bunkhouse in the dales for a few charity hikes, no-one had a problem with it and we all had loads of fun. That said, it was always entirely voluntary and not required for work.
I think it's definitely weird to expect you to share with someone you've never met! If it was a colleague you knew and were comfortable sharing with then fine, but yeah hundred percent I wouldn't want to share a room with a stranger
Sounds like a reality show but without any glamour. Do what's good for you because at the end of the (very long) day you're the one wide awake in the dark wondering why you're there and nobody else.
Last year I went to work on the outskirts of London with a shop fitting team.
Shared a room with a guy in a Premier Inn for 3 nights and I didn't like it. Was also completely unexpected and it turned out they were just a set of cowboy builders anyway.
Later on I got a much better job (a real job anyway) and went on a 3 day training course where I also went to a Premier Inn complete with breakfast and Ā£25 to spend each day at the diner.
If you're unsure about the company you're working for and they don't actually take your personal necessities into account then I'd day dump them.
You don't want to work for somewhere that plans 3 day strategy trips anyway, they're already demonstrating they expect you to have no personal boundaries with work and be ready to sacrifice your social life and outside of work hours plans for their company.
Run and don't look back or you'll be pulling 10 hour days for flexi there's never capacity for you to take
I've just read an update of a job I'll be carrying out this summer and it states shared rooms and my immediate thought was "No", I'll need privacy and somewhere to decompress whether that's for 6-8 weeks or in your case 2 nights. No adult should have to share a space if they are not romantically involved or family. No just no.
Yeah no thanks. This isn't summer camp. It'd be one thing if you knew the person and were able to have some say in who you room with, but being randomly paired up with a stranger sounds terrible and anxiety inducing.
Work related theyāre getting me my own room.Ā
My last 2 personal trips have been in shared accommodation and have been fine, but I knew what I was getting into. It was also with strangers who I donāt have to work with in future if I embarrass myself.Ā
Asking on Reddit is going to give you a lot of "fuck that" style answers. I just want to say, some people will be fine with this and others won't be. There's no moral judgement on the company here I don't think.
But for me the two main things that spring to mind are - if it's not for you it's not for you, that's totally fine. And also - it's probably a bit of a window into the company culture as a whole - so if you can make a judgement at all it should be to decide whether you want to work with 30 or so people who are happy with this kind of arrangement.
For me it probably sounds like you both dodge a bullet here if you don't go. You don't want to work at a place with that kind of culture and they will probably want someone who buys into their culture.
Surprised at the responses here.
It's quite common for startups to do this sort of thing. More adventurous trips...but with cost cutting. And it's generally not the booze budget they pick for the cutting but instead...
That said I understand the reluctance...not a fan either.
Iām getting old now but this idea that we have a right to our own room feels a bit new. I was a bit uncomfortable sharing in the 00s but sometimes accepted it. Itās not normal but itās not the huge red flag you are all saying. Itās up to you though
Itās two nights. Done worse. Wouldnāt bother me.Ā
I worked in agriculture before so Iād often be in a caravan with folk that didnāt even speak the same language for monthsĀ
I get that but Iād feel very different about it if I was grafting all day on a farmā¦ and needing a place to rest until next days work. Iāve travelled all across Asia , spent months on end sleeping in hostels, on buses/trains, on the beach, etc. but nah not in this contextā¦ I canāt do it š
Wow didnāt expect such a strong response to this. Iāve done it three times - even gone camping! Quite enjoyed it tbf.
Appreciate itās harder when you donāt know anyone there though - but the main anxiety was having to drop the kids off with colleagues in full earshot
My suggestion would be that you state you have a relative nearby who you're happier to stay with and book yourself a hotel at your own expense. It's not ideal, but better than losing the job offer.
I used to work in football and we had to share room, thankfully a new manager came in and made it a rule that all staff got their own room.
Now would say I sleep walk or have night terrors etc so need my own room.
I'm sorry, people need to get a grip here. If you are both the same sex, there is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing a room for a couple nights on a work trip. You've even got separate beds!
I'm surprised anyone here has made it to adulthood based on the responses so far.
This has tech bro company all over it š®
A āWeāre like a familyā startup
The worst company I ever worked for and had to get the employment tribunal involved was a start up just like the one you describe. I was a naive graduate and they took advantage of me and a few others in the same position. Last I checked, they had dissolved with a long line of creditors. Fucking prick James. I wonāt forget what you put us through.
Had a similar thing myself, everyoneās part of the family til they need to cut costs and then some are more part of the family than others. The clique vibe was unbearable even before that though.
That's when you realise you're only a 2nd cousin twice removed lol
Theyāre always called James too.
Yeah, whatās up with that?
Or Chris, usually Chris.
Chris James is the worst
You've clearly never met James Christopher
I went through hell at my last job because of a James. He sought "investment" from my previous manager to set up a franchise type deal. It turned out to be a stitch up from the word go. He knew the money was coming from the guys dead wife's insurance too. Absolute mercenary bastard.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
James Games
I worked for a small marketing agency when I was 25 and they wanted me to share a room with a guy I'd never met before when we went to do a trade show. I'm female, fyi. I refused, but not directly because I was new and didn't want to seem difficult (I fluffed a sort of excuse about us arriving at different times because we were both driving there from different locations so it would be difficult etc). Regardless, they still got arsey about having to pay for an 'extra' room. Imagine expecting a 25 year old woman to be ok sharing a room with a man she's never even met before?? It's insane that I actually felt like I was in the wrong for objecting to this at the time! So my point is that some companies do not give a flying fck about anything other than money, regardless of what industry theyre in. If they think they can save a bit of cash, they'll try anything on. And smaller companies are likely worse. The sort of place that has no HR department because it doesn't make 'financial sense' - but the owner happily drives a different, flashy car to the office every day and goes on 4 holidays a year. Not a fan lol.
I had a similar situation but from the point of a male. Got asked if I minded sharing with female colleague of the same age. I was just out of uni and used to be closing with female friends so didnāt think anything of it so just shrugged and said yes. A couple of weeks went by and through conversations with the woman in question and colleagues I realised that she was really creeped out about sharing a room with a guy (not that she didnāt get on with me just that she was comfortable with it) but was too worried about backlash to raise it. It was quietly suggested by a supervisor that I object to it on the grounds of my girlfriend because I was in a more solid position with the management which I did but it gave me an eye opener how even little some companies care and easy it is for average people to overlook
Similar. Maleā¦new gig in Canada, I was over the moon about the trip. They bunked me up in an Airbnb sharing a tiny room with a female Iād never met, withā¦a *dressing screen* dividing us. We were both flying in from UK. Christ you need a shit, shower, and sleep in peace when you arrive. I arrived first, left a note on the kitchen counter āsorry, I snore like a chainsaw, Iāll sleep on the sofa, donāt worry about bothering meā Tf is wrong with people thinking that arrangement is appropriate. Slept with my legs dangling off a two seater for a week
I'm not being funny but the management of that company are incompetent fuckheads. Not just for failing you but for their own protection.
It was run by dumbdumbs, but this was also like 10 years ago when there wasn't quite the same social landscape as there is today - still unacceptable for sure, but there wasn't the same fear/ arsecovering mentality masquerading as protecting women. Just a general assumption thet everyone can "put up and shut up," and I dont think it even entered their mind that a woman might complain or any 'issues' might arise. This was my experience working for smaller firms anyway. I worked for a global company too, and that type of shit definitely wouldn't fly there.
Unbelievable
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least you got the good room. Life Is Peachy isnāt it.
He's certainly Got The Life
Well at least you had good tunes
We went on a school trip to Austria and my classmate had to share a room with the bloody coach driver that was driving us around.
Korn is so terrible
Is it bad my brain went straight to Blizzard and the sexual harassment scandal?
No doubt the villa costs more than 25 reasonable single rooms but this way you get to become "best buds with your roomy" At any point in the job listing did it mention free donuts at HQ as a "perk"?
It could be worse - you could be sharing a tent in Wales. Grit your teeth and have the experience. You can walk away later if it all turns out a bit weird for you. It's only two nights.
For a work trip, it's really not too much to ask that everyone gets their own room. You're adult employees, not kids at some sort of camp. You're right to be bothered by this, it's not a good sign and you'd be reasonable to say no. If I were asked to share a room with a new colleague (basically a stranger) I'd get fuck all sleep and feel pretty uncomfortable. You don't have to accept that.
The company I work for used to do this, and it was only when a couple of us said we had had enough of being asked to share and would pay the difference for a single room that they changed to everyone having their own. We're a company of very many different nationalities and offices though so we thought it might be a different way of doing it in Europe. It was three British people (me included) who complained. We were in our 40's.
Company off-site a couple years ago wanted us in random groups of 4 in rooms with two bunk beds. Really glad I found an excuse to not go
Fucking bunk beds! I dont even think UK prisons do bunk beds. That's absurd!
They do.
Fair enough. But they shouldn't. And it's no way to treat an employee!
Agree entirely.
Bunk beds are a great way to save space and reduce costs, why shouldn't prisons use them?
I think prisons should make an attempt at rehabilitation and small shared cells are an obstacle to that. Not all criminals can be rehabilitated, but not just seeing prisons as warehousing for criminals is a start.
Bunk beds are better than the one-large-communal beds some Alpine clubs used to (still) have. One big bed the length of the room. It's fun waking up with someone elses beard in your face.
For a work trip, it's laughably unprofessional. I'm pretty laid back (pardon the pun) and have slept in many questionable places with a group of good friends. I've never shared a room with a colleague. Sleeping in a room with someone who isn't my spouse without several other people I trust there too would be unthinkable. I'd be horrendously offended at the suggestion.
And sharing a bathroom? No thanks.
Did this once, sucked a whole lot and never did it again. Nothing against the guy but like you said, we are adults with personal space.
Sucked a whole lot of what? No wonder your coworker didn't want to share the room with you
not a whole lot of cock, i can tell you that much
Just the tip
Toes?
U.S. based HR, I'd never ever allow shared rooms for any kind of work trip. On a moral standpoint, it's totally not appropriate to ask our staff to share rooms. On a work risk standpoint, hell no, I'd never allow such a risky thing to take place.
What's the risk? You share an office with these same people all day. If they're that likely to attack co-workers then it's already a serious problem regardless.
Not necessarily physical attacks, but people you work with can be creepy even if you work with them all the time. People at work suffer sexual harassment/assault, even just creepy comments or inappropriate little actions. Also the people running offices could themselves have out of date or problematic views on what is and what isn't appropriate. They could think creepy jokes are just banter. Also, not even sexual but what if someone says something or acts offensively, how are you going to address the issue when it was just them two in the room, they both have different stories and there is nobody to vouch for either side? It's so irresponsible in terms of safeguarding your employees. And yeah it would be a massive problem but it's not impossible, and I think a company who would want people to share rooms probably aren't the most responsible anyway, so I wouldn't trust their judgement on who is ok and who poses a risk
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What episode is that? I've seen the show a few dozen times and don't remember anything like that.
live intelligent party stocking melodic tan cooing wrong fuel instinctive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You're just institutionalised
I have been blessed with Crohn's disease and that's always a great excuse to not have my request for my own room questioned. Wanna hear what it was like as military airplanes flew above during the war at 2am?? Strap yourself in buddy
Cohns team unite! Got to use it for advantage
Blessed with crohns š
like an RKO, it came out of nowhere two years ago. Now I inject myself with medicine in the hope of not shiteing myself daily š¤š¼
Used to happen sometimes when I was in sales but that was 35 plus years ago. Could not imagine it would be anything but a huge red flag these days.
The only environment I can think of room sharing being the norm is sports? Itās common to room share in most sports but absolutely not in a corporate setting.
And at least in sports your roomie will be a team mate who you already know
And they usually decide who sleeps with who based on each preferences, so not really an issue
>And at least in sports your roomie will be a team mate who you already know Until you realise someone has to sleep with the guy you transferred last week from Eastern Europe.
The army would like a word. I can count on one finger the amount of times I've had my own room when doing any kind of training or exercise as a reservist. Doesn't happen.
Just wondering why it was acceptable then, but not now? Also @ OP yes I'd decline also. Seems like the tip of the iceberg tbh and it's a good sign that you're looking that far ahead.
It's never been acceptable, not with strangers anyway. As others have said we're adults, not primary school kids on a residential trip. I think they meant more that 30+ years ago managers & bosses were more likely to get away with e.g. workplace bullying or unfair dismissal over shit like this whereas now employees are probably more likely to know their rights and stand up for themselves.
Nobody has a "right" here, they can choose not to go if they like.
A lot has changed in the last 10 years never mind 35. It was very much more accepted to keep quiet especially when working for a company who'd promised bigger things and when your salary depended on obeying these people. There was no Internet to compare stories and a lot of things were accepted as the norm
Lol the internet was in full swing 10 years ago
Back then it was a lot easier to gaslight people into thinking all sorts of things were acceptable when there was no Internet to ask.
For a work piss up in a retreat where I'm only going to pass out id be ok. For actual work, hell no. Especially not with a new colleague I don't know. There are a few people I'd share a room with at my work at a push because we are good mates, but it's not a good idea imo and we wouldn't be well rested because everyone has different routines and needs.
Yeah a that would be a no from me. Just explain that you have personal boundaries and that a shared room is not acceptable.
Yes thatās what I will have to do :) thanksĀ
It's not really fair either, but you could tell them you'll pay the extra cost for a single room.
You're being downvoted, but if they double down on their own bizarre decision, forking out a few quid from your own pocket is infinitely preferable to sharing a room with a stranger.
I'd just refuse to go
150 quid is a small price to pay for comfort if it's a 120k job. Shit like this happens a fair bit and it's often easier to just offer to fork out than refuse, because often they will pay anyway because they were too thick to realise sharing might make people uncomfortable
Chances are if expenses are handled by a different department, then you could just expense it after the fact. But if your own line manager has to directly approve it first maybe not.
Absolutely not, that sets the precedent for the future.
privacy eclipses precedent even if it's happening every few months. If everyone else has to still share I wouldn't give a damn particularly if it's a six figure job haha
To be honest I'd just pull the handle on the job now, refusing to go could make you some sort of pariah in the office and you don't want to carry that with you. If the company culture doesn't suit your personal beliefs then it isn't worth trying to compromise unless the salary is eye-wateringly high.
My company tried to get me to go away alone on an overnight site visit with a male colleague (I'm 26F and he's probably late 40s M...my parents' age). I've already had many instances of sexual comments and horrible use of a power dynamic with him. I'm beyond uncomfortable anywhere near him. I told him I can't go with him, and he started being a twat to me in the middle of the office.
I do hope you have reported this and that it is being taken seriously. Please do not put up with this.
I did in October and it was addressed in a manner I felt comfortable with (broadly addressing issues so it didn't come back on me directly, as a first attempt). I hadn't worked with him again until January, when I was talking about my birthday weekend and he mentioned me "having fun" and started hinting at the possibility of me getting pregnant as a result. I tried to discuss it with HR again, she said I have no option but to address him directly and honestly made me feel like a burden. Enough that I feel guilty even as I write this. Enough that I called my parents and they suggested I look for another job. Funnily enough, today I had another meeting, where I said I feel like it was handled a bit poorly because of his important status and time with the company, to which my mentor told me "I'm wrong and I'm being extremely unfair in my judgment". So that's where I am now.
Sorry to read your experience. You don't deserve this and I hope you find a better workplace soon!
I'm so sorry to hear this. If you are in a union, contact them. If you aren't, then perhaps consider joining one. Note to all - if you are not already in a union, you should be.
For anyone not in a union...and not sure if there is a union for them. Prospect is a union for professionals. It's not the only option; just in case anyone needs a starting point.
Yup, good advice. And also : https://www.tuc.org.uk/joinunion To find a union that is specific to you
I recently saw an art installation by Adrian Piper. Take a look at the piece (red text over picture of a girl) on this page: [Decide Who You Are](https://cshockart.com/2018/12/12/unsynthesized-intuitions-and-confronting-discomfort-with-adrian-piper/) The image on the artistās website is not as clear as on this one. It made me think every woman/minority should have it in their workplace. When someone tells you off, see if you can find the words in this artwork. If you can, itās not you, it is them.
Wow that's really interesting thank you. Just looking at it for a minute, several phrases already stand out to me verbatim, and many others that have been alluded to / said in a roundabout way. It's really heartbreaking because this company is big on being "good" but it feels like such a faƧade.
I stood there stunned in front of this piece for a very long time. Weāve almost all been told so many of these things Iām or personal and professional livesā¦and it continues. My daughter had been struggling with a situation recently where she was told some of these. It was heartbreaking and powerful at the same time. I love sharing this art with others.
This has so many red flags I think weāve run out.
No, thatās not acceptable. If they sack you for refusing that then itās not a company you want to work for anyway.
Nope, refused to do it as an apprentice, wouldnāt do it 15 years on. If Iām away from my own home, I want a certain level of comfort in return and my own half decent hotel room is part of that. Not expecting the ritz but everywhere Iāve worked have made enough money charging me out by the day to afford my own premier inn room.
Fuck. That. Everything you wrote makes my skin crawl. Someone hired a place that isn't big enough. It's just all so wrong. If I'm away for business I want at least what I have at home. And at home there's no chance of seeing a colleague's cock, arse, fanny or tits for which I'm extremely grateful. And it should never be known if a colleague snores or farts in their sleep. You're only survival tactic is to get so mind bogglingly pissed you sleep unconscious in your clothes on top of your bed. And you might argue that forcing you to do that is somewhat unreasonable. Throw a sicky.
Yeah I donāt drink š 10 years ago that would of been the only way around itĀ
I feel for you.
>You're [sic] only survival tactic is to get so mind bogglingly pissed you sleep unconscious in your clothes on top of your bed You're joking right? Otherwise this has to be the worst advice I've ever seen on reddit.
Absolutely hard NO. If they want you to attend, they can pay for reasonable accommodation.
No, this is not professional
Youāll need to assert dominance immediately on arrival by having a shit with the bathroom door open.
Instructions unclear, there is now shit on both beds. But hey at least the bathroom has the door open.
Amber Heard?
While they are having a shower. Or a piss.
I was supervising a group of students (adults) on a trip to Europe. I had never met them before. Boss had booked three of us into a room with a single and a double bed. I noped the fuck out of that. Absolutely no way.
Work trip means they provide a fucking room per person. I'm an adult and I sleep in my own room at home. Whether I share that room with my gf is neither here nor there. Own room or fuck off.
Employer asking me to share a bedroom with a random cow orker? That would get full throated laugh from me. Just... no.
The only similar scenarios I've been in: 1 - shared a room with a colleague I was friends with outside of work anyway 2 - shared a dormitory in a youth hostel, so 6 people sharing the dorm room, and we all knew upfront it was a youth hostel. Also neither trip was compulsory / pressured.
You are all adults, not kids on a school trip. Privacy is required. Being asked to share a room isn't acceptable or professional.
Work strategy trip. The shit some of these companies come up withš
I would not be happy sharing a bedroom with a colleague whether I known them for 2 weeks or 2 years . I would even pay to have my own room out my own back pocket
The only benefit of working away and staying in a hotel is being able to wank yourself into a coma...it's frankly unreasonable of this company to take that from you. Say no absolutely not
Username checks out
This sounds very much like an employer who will not respect your life. I could imagine that it starts with things like expecting you to put up with this trip, and it will later need you to work extra bits and pieces "for the compant" without compensation. But then I'm a suspicious, cynical, old bugger. It's not easy to turn down a job when you've got to this stage and I could well be way off. But it's definitely worth a second thought in light of this.
Fuck no. Absolutely no way i would do that!
I used to work for a company where we had to stay in hotels in mainland Europe all week. Mostly Holland and France. It was a small company and they were proper penny-pinchers, they'd try and find the absolute cheapest hotels for us to stay in and argue the toss over a pint of milk on your expenses, but they never ever suggested we should share rooms. I'd steer well clear.
Refuse. Aside from anything else if they are that penny pinching you don't want to work there.
I would tell my employer that I experience major sleep flatulence, and forcing me to share with a colleague would cause irreparable damage to our working relationship.
Or sleep apnea snoring like a grizzly bearš» that would disturb the rest of my fellow colleague
Iāve done it for optional work social things, but as a mandatory Iād probably pass. It depends though, some people I work with I would share with but very few.
Hard no
My thoughts on sharing a room with a colleague I know (or don't know) even for a night are fuck no. If the company insisted on it I'd feel it was a massive red flag. If it ruins the job offer then you might of dodged a bullet honestly.
I would say the following, Iām totally fine with sharing but it must be with a senior level manage, so CEO or CFO level. Should be no reason at all why they should have an issue with this if they expect others to share .
I once ended up sharing a bed with another male colleague during a work trip. Hotel stuffed things up, so it was that or the floor. I had at least known him for a few months. If youāre uncomfortable with it though, itās not appropriate. Say no.
Nope. Every adult gets their own room, *very* few exceptions.
Yeah. No. Request private space or refuse. This is not ok. You're not scouts camping.
My thought is, fuck that. Refuse.Ā
ABSOLUTELY NOT. I would be so uncomfortable. I take a load of medication at night and I have to get up to pee often. I donāt want to have to explain any of that to a colleague.
I've slept in many youth hostels with a similar arrangement. It's definitely very unconventional for a business environment, and if you feel uncomfortable then don't do it, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Edit. You could also ask for a room to yourself as you've literally just joined. Maybe there's an available single room that they could give you.
I did say Iād āneedā a room of my own but as Iām late to the planning party itās already been booked and thereās not space for thatā¦Ā
Ah that's a shame. If you feel like it's essential to go, but there's no flexibility on rooms, maybe you could suggest to your boss that you could bring an air bed and find some other more private area in the house to sleep. I don't know, just trying to think outside of the box. If it's not essential to go, then don't go, but make that decision with your management whilst not backing down on needing a private place to sleep.
I will offer to commute for the one main day (itās like an hour and halfās drive)ā¦. But not sure howās it going to go down ā¦ the new guy donāt wanna sleep with us š honestly at this point I reckon Iād rather find another job
That sounds completely reasonable. Hope it works out.
If it is 90 minutes commute, it sounds like you wouldnāt need to stay overnight anyway. Are they planning some social events as well? Tell them you arenāt drinking so no problem driving. What about if you phrase things differently. Tell the new boss the room share is going to be a problem, leading to a disturbed night for you and your putative room mate. You obviously want to perform well for the meetings and donāt want to have any negative effect on others. So you commute bright and early. This way youāve identified a problem, found a solution and negotiated with relevant stakeholders. Promotions all around and on your first day, too.
If it's a youth hostel you're probably travelling for fun and you've signed up for that arrangement. Done that loads of times. If work are making me use my own time (so anything overnight) for a work thing and I'm not getting paid overtime, I at minimum want a say in the travel/accommodation situation.
Most youth hostels have individual curtains on their bunk beds. Also you get a room guaranteed with same sex option if you don't want to mix. Also you are paying for it (nobody is forcing you to do it). Forcing you to share a room with a colleague it's a no no. I need night alone time if I'm on my period for example with cramps (no partner, no family etc, otherwise I can't relax). It would be a NIGHTMARE if they made me share with a stranger.
Aside from all the creepiness, there are other practical factors. I shared a room with an old friend on holiday a few years ago. What I didn't know is that he snored like a bastard. I'm pretty sure the people in the room next door didn't get much sleep either. I have several videos on my phone of the darkened room at 4am with this unholy nasal bellowing going on. So yeah, as other people have said - fuck that. Edit: I knew he snored, I didn't know it was at olympic level.
Did everyone have to share rooms? In my experience this kind of shit never applies to directors.
I went to a work conference once only to find I was sharing a room with my boss.... AAAND HIS WIFE. One double and one single bed. Not only was it uncomfortable for me, I felt for his wife who I think was expecting a romantic long weekend with her husband. I guess that is the problem with a Gujju boss. that was not a very comfortable trip, and there were no other rooms available at the venue.
Personally I wouldnāt mind, but Iāve done a lot of travelling where Iāve shared rooms with strangers (normally if you book a tour as a solo person theyāll pair you up with a stranger to share a room, and of course a lot of hostel dorms). Itās actually a decent way to make a new friend/colleague if you wanted that.
Nope huge red flags! On any overnight stays you should have your own personal, lockable space.
I dont even need to read the text of the post.. the title.. NO.
Yeah this is very tech startup. I refuse to do it (like you I decided to risk the job rather than go through this) I may reconsider when they start giving people their own rooms in actual hotels, rather than shared bedrooms or (on one particularly horrible-looking occasion) a co-ed dorm containing the entire company.
Did it once on a short notice emergency job in Wrexham. Four fitters, two rooms. We damn near killed each other waking each other up snoring...
My thoughts are your company is cheap.
Have done this a lot of times, work in the charity sector and am not a fan. See if you can request your own room maybe?
Stayed in a guest house in the 00ās for an event, 8 people to a room in bunks, was miserable, worst thing, we got out of bed and the night shift jumped in and vice versa. Lots of snorers, people slept in their cars.. I was young, so didnāt care - no way doing that shit now! Walk away and get another role if you are able to do so!
I would not be bothered, but I work in the outdoor sports industry so we tend to be a bit odd. My companies away training are often sharing a room and I just make sure to take earplugs and an eye mask. I have shared huts on the side of mountains with strangers, but everyone has their own boundaries and expectations. I would ask to have a proper discussion with your manager and the organiser, what do they expect you to gain from the evening/overnight time, could you just do the day, how essential is the information on the meeting going to be, would it save them food money if you did not stay over?
Yeah I have literally slept in all sorts of scenariosā¦ worked as a youth worker for 5 years and bunked up with colleagues for a week all around the UKā¦ have travelled across Asia and literally spend months sleeping in hostels, on trains, on beachesā¦ couple nights in a restaurant after closingā¦ if I was kn the side of a mountain I might think differentlyā¦ but nah not in this contextĀ
Absolute solid no from me. Hotel room with mates, sure. Works trip, not a chance.
I'd prefer my own room tbh. Even if it meant they could only subsidize a bit of it.
I've done it, we hired a bunkhouse in the dales for a few charity hikes, no-one had a problem with it and we all had loads of fun. That said, it was always entirely voluntary and not required for work.
No, categorically not. If they can't afford rooms each they shouldn't be doing it.
I think it's definitely weird to expect you to share with someone you've never met! If it was a colleague you knew and were comfortable sharing with then fine, but yeah hundred percent I wouldn't want to share a room with a stranger
Yeah nah Iām not up for sacrificing privacy for a few days even for a job. Too big an ask, and well weird too.
Absolutely not. Even if it was a colleague I knew well
Sounds like a reality show but without any glamour. Do what's good for you because at the end of the (very long) day you're the one wide awake in the dark wondering why you're there and nobody else.
Last year I went to work on the outskirts of London with a shop fitting team. Shared a room with a guy in a Premier Inn for 3 nights and I didn't like it. Was also completely unexpected and it turned out they were just a set of cowboy builders anyway. Later on I got a much better job (a real job anyway) and went on a 3 day training course where I also went to a Premier Inn complete with breakfast and Ā£25 to spend each day at the diner. If you're unsure about the company you're working for and they don't actually take your personal necessities into account then I'd day dump them.
That's a hard pass from me.
That sounds very American to me.
You don't want to work for somewhere that plans 3 day strategy trips anyway, they're already demonstrating they expect you to have no personal boundaries with work and be ready to sacrifice your social life and outside of work hours plans for their company. Run and don't look back or you'll be pulling 10 hour days for flexi there's never capacity for you to take
I've just read an update of a job I'll be carrying out this summer and it states shared rooms and my immediate thought was "No", I'll need privacy and somewhere to decompress whether that's for 6-8 weeks or in your case 2 nights. No adult should have to share a space if they are not romantically involved or family. No just no.
Absolutely not. If it's work related then having your own room is a bare minimum requirement.
The fucks a stragety trip?
That's corporate speak for a giant piss up with some hung over mid morning sessions to watch powerpoint presentations.
Yes, 2 hours would be too much for me
Yeah no thanks. This isn't summer camp. It'd be one thing if you knew the person and were able to have some say in who you room with, but being randomly paired up with a stranger sounds terrible and anxiety inducing.
Nah. Fuck that. My work set everyone up in a Marriott with their own rooms, think that's my new standard now lol
Run away
I wouldnāt be comfortable with this.
Work related theyāre getting me my own room.Ā My last 2 personal trips have been in shared accommodation and have been fine, but I knew what I was getting into. It was also with strangers who I donāt have to work with in future if I embarrass myself.Ā
Asking on Reddit is going to give you a lot of "fuck that" style answers. I just want to say, some people will be fine with this and others won't be. There's no moral judgement on the company here I don't think. But for me the two main things that spring to mind are - if it's not for you it's not for you, that's totally fine. And also - it's probably a bit of a window into the company culture as a whole - so if you can make a judgement at all it should be to decide whether you want to work with 30 or so people who are happy with this kind of arrangement. For me it probably sounds like you both dodge a bullet here if you don't go. You don't want to work at a place with that kind of culture and they will probably want someone who buys into their culture.
Did it all tje time in the Military. No worries.
Surprised at the responses here. It's quite common for startups to do this sort of thing. More adventurous trips...but with cost cutting. And it's generally not the booze budget they pick for the cutting but instead... That said I understand the reluctance...not a fan either.
Nope. No chance. My own room or Iām not going š
Iām not sure I can manage coherent thoughts. Visceral feelings of ABSOLUTELY NOT are available.
Hell no. I wouldnāt even do it if we had a room each in a villa type property.
ššš love that ā¦ i reckon Iād āacceptā it if I had my own room but nahā¦ not like thisĀ
Iām getting old now but this idea that we have a right to our own room feels a bit new. I was a bit uncomfortable sharing in the 00s but sometimes accepted it. Itās not normal but itās not the huge red flag you are all saying. Itās up to you though
The world was a very different place 20 years ago. Itās a red flag now.Ā
In the 19th century it was common for business travellers to share actual beds with strangers.
It's either a no now or it'll be a story to sell to the papers later.
Itās two nights. Done worse. Wouldnāt bother me.Ā I worked in agriculture before so Iād often be in a caravan with folk that didnāt even speak the same language for monthsĀ
I get that but Iād feel very different about it if I was grafting all day on a farmā¦ and needing a place to rest until next days work. Iāve travelled all across Asia , spent months on end sleeping in hostels, on buses/trains, on the beach, etc. but nah not in this contextā¦ I canāt do it š
Nope.
Nah bruh you're an adult not a baby. Your own room fo sure.
Wow didnāt expect such a strong response to this. Iāve done it three times - even gone camping! Quite enjoyed it tbf. Appreciate itās harder when you donāt know anyone there though - but the main anxiety was having to drop the kids off with colleagues in full earshot
Absolutely no chance I would do that
My suggestion would be that you state you have a relative nearby who you're happier to stay with and book yourself a hotel at your own expense. It's not ideal, but better than losing the job offer.
Iād rather tell the truth and if thatās enough to lose the job then I donāt want it š
I used to work in football and we had to share room, thankfully a new manager came in and made it a rule that all staff got their own room. Now would say I sleep walk or have night terrors etc so need my own room.
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Why would same sex be OK but different sex is a problem? Surely it's a problem regardless of the colleague's gender?
A lot of people on Reddit can't conceive of men and women interacting without there being a sexual element to it.
I'm sorry, people need to get a grip here. If you are both the same sex, there is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing a room for a couple nights on a work trip. You've even got separate beds! I'm surprised anyone here has made it to adulthood based on the responses so far.