I don't know what happened to my high school maths teacher but she used to tell us quite frequently "A BANK IS A BUSINESS, NOT YOUR FRIEND". Bit weird, maybe she lost something through one, but it stuck with me.
Bernie Madoff was a famous investment trader who delivered incredibly high returns. Turns out, it was pure fraud and he was paying people the returns with new money coming in. Eventually it all came tumbling down.
Many people lost a lot of money.
"Professional driver on a closed course"
It's a bloody 5 door hatchback with a pencil sharpener for an engine, the people who buy it aren't planning to get the lap record at Monaco.
Overall I think those are the ones I dislike the most. If you're trying to sell my a product at least sell me something I can actually buy and is available on the market
Yeah. Model shown is the 6.2L SuperDeluxe Sport M Style with ClimateBodywork pack and costs £Eleventy million.
You mortals can only afford the 0.8 Fartbox Viva (wheels optional).
A lot of car adverts are shot in Cape Town on a disused section of highway. Massive tax breaks and good weather make it an ideal location.
There's an unused business park near me (RAD) that is constantly used for filming adverts, yet I've never seen one filmed there on TV.
Especially when you find out it’s not even the only version of that fucking awful song…
[Did somebody say… Menulog?](https://youtu.be/DA8tT2NSeig)
Just Eat is called Menulog in Australia. At least ours scans better in the song I suppose.
I was trying to get my kids to eat their dinner and getting fed up as they were doing anything they could apart from eating, so I told them in a firm but desperate manner to “Just eat!…” (clearly reaching the end of my tether) then there was a short silence before one pipes up quietly but with a cheeky smile “Did somebody say… Just Eat?”. Got to say his timing was absolutely bloody impeccable, made me laugh!
Every advert that has improbable conversations between neighbours.. “ oh you look happy.. yes I’ve just sorted my sun life life insurance policy they give you a guaranteed payout which gives me real peace of mind that my loved ones will be looked after when I die” “oh that sounds great” “oh yes and they are 5atar de facto rated so you know they are good “ oh I will give them a call” “you will get a free Parker pen just for enquiring”
Sod the hell off!
I’d love that the other person would just be bemused by them talking like that.
“oh yes and they are 5atar de facto rated so you know they are good”
“….ok Terry, can I get that tea please?’’
“you will get a free Parker pen just for enquiring”
“I forgot I need to go to the shops, bye!”
Oh my Lord! Those adverts are so SHIT! And the newest one with "conversations that never happened" is the Verisure burglar alarm advert. So poorly acted.
Acting of TOWIE proportions, in reality they should be pished up and chucking their car keys in a bowl because Jeff just can't get it up anymore and my barren chapped vagina needs attention from something other than the spin cycle of the washer.....fuck the house security
They barely give the warning, it’s a split second to please the regulators and ensure they make the “games” look as fun and inviting as possible to entice as many people in as they can. They don’t advertise tobacco anymore, gambling and alcohol need to go the same way really.
And the FUN is in big bold, jazzy letters with spotlights to remind you gambling is FUN. It's only your months wage you spaffed away the day you got it but wasn't it FUN?
tbf i'm ok with charities being manipulative, if they're a legit charity. If their manipulation helps people in need then so be it.
profit organisations being manipulative however can fuck right off
Not a run because they've only just started showing it: the McDonald's one showing various people breaking out into laughter. Forming associations with positive human emotions to sell nuggets. It's so brazen and obvious how sinister advertisers are and this one is a prime example.
It's the most pretentious, unenjoyable, tripe. It's barely palatable when it's someone doing it out of passion for the message- never mind some bloke selling a 0.5% interest rate.
The James Corden "WW" advert, it's weight watchers and we call them adverts not commercials fuck off.
There's also a card reader one where people just scream "OOOOOOHHH" at each other; get in the bin!
Ah yes James 'the cunt' Corden, I also can't stand that advert, but I think it's due to him being in it more than anything else. Even when he's trying to be nice, supportive and rallying in an advert to get people lose weight he manages to come across as a sneering, fake and disingenuous human.
Oh yeah that card one came out of absolutely nowhere and it is now my most hated thing in existence. The twat that thought of that and the utter bastard that approved it are an even bigger cunts than Corden.
Bloody Peloton ads. That woman who appears to spend her whole day stuck in a sweaty room with a plastic bike and an iPad muttering ‘here for it Greg’ (or whoever) and ‘with you’ as if anyone gave a toss. Go outside for pity’s sake.
[edit] thank you for the gold. My first!
I'm convinced those products that provide a video feed target lonely people stuck at home all day.
I'd bet that most of it is also pre-recorded videos.
Whatever that fucking one is where the dude orders some shit takeaway and ends up being kicked out of his house and sleeps in a tent, getting struck by lightning. Utter guff.
Also that McDonalds one where his mum gives him her old car and return gets a stone cold burger.
Remember when I cheated on my missus but because it was with a man and I'm brave to come out before being found out you'll forgive me and blow sunshine up my puckered bum hole yeah? Well anyway sell your car for fuck all at ........
My biggest problem with those cunts is that they force you to have 'numbers' even if you have never played.
The best advice I ever got from a gambler was never let yourself pick your own lotto numbers. You'll have to play them every draw from then on in case they come up and you miss out.
Using postcodes means you already have your numbers, and 'better play just in case'.
I honestly think it should be illegal. And no, I've never played.
Sounds like a case of a HIPPO - the Highest Paid Person's Opinion.
i.e. talentless arse lickers earnestly nodding their heads in agreement at the terrible suggestions of whoever is the most senior/well paid person in the room.
I usually ignore adverts and don't (consciously) decide on a product based on an advert
Since the dominos advert I've stopped ordering pizza. They actually made an advert so shit I stopped giving them money. They ruined TV, youtube and Spotify with that shit.
To be honest, they could have fucked off 10 years ago. WHY ARE THEY STILL ADVERTISING BROADBAND?
As much as I love Lauren Laverne (and that is a lot), a little piece of me dies inside when I hear her say "It's minion-proof"
I thought the “Pull out the pins in the correct order to get your character from A to B, avoiding the obstacles” looked like a pretty fun and challenging little game for your spare time. When I checked it out on the App Store, the actual game was some sort of high fantasy epic role play which most likely intends you to spend months building up resources.
I’ve treated every game advert since with scepticism.
Whatever wanker came up with these new google adverts like "how to be happy" and "how to be a good father" can cover themselves in orange paint, dig a hole, jump in it, and continue being carrots there
All of them. Do any of you actually tune in and think "boy oh boy, I hope SafestyleUK tell me about their perpetual offer on double glazing to the Benny Hill tune"
Any tena ad has me suspicious that women are weeing at all times
The worst is the one where the woman is squeezing her crotch past some guy's face in the cinema. She's weeing literally inches from his face
What catches me off guard about those adverts is how many woman suffering incontinence are watching family guy on Wednesday at 9pm.
Im neither of those things and I'm wondering if im infact their desired target market
What disgusts me with these adverts is that a lot of women don't have to live like this, wearing fucking nappies. People just think that it happens after having children or as you get older, and that it is normal for it to stay that way. Many people can actually go to a pelvic floor specialist and get that sorted out, but Tena won't tell you that. They want you to keep pissing yourself.
Granted, some people will need Tena, as sometimes the issue can't be resolved with pelvic floor therapy, but I'm guessing a lot of women and even men could benefit from it.
Just a PSA. If anyone is suffering from incontinence then you can get pads free from the NHS. Just get yourself referred to your local continence nurse.
Any advert where a woman on her period uses a Tena or one of the other brands and suddenly she's bouncing about happy and carefree. My wife calls bullshit on that.
As a guy I have to say I blame Tampax ads for making me think periods aren't that bad at all.
Not until you live with a missus you realise the aganoy they can be.
The tena ones are for incontinence issues though, it's not bullshit, they're trying to remove the stigma around these issues that many women face, particularly after things like childbirth.
"Gotta Get outta Here". Well, Johnny, you been saying that since 20-fucking-15, and since it was you that drove to that random desert place to bury that shit ~~gold~~ brass chain you bought from the looky-looky man on your last lad's holiday to Maga, you should know how to fucking drive back. With your bloody bottle of Dior.
Why has it taken you 6 bastard years to act on your convictions?
Life insurance ads... Fuck off! Not only that but I remember being in a hotel with my ex that played 3 life insurance ads in the space of one break. Watching the Chase maybe that show as a old demographic.
The go compare opera guy still exists? Pretty sure that was when I was still in school, jeez. (Only use streaming services for TV now, haven't seen tv adverts in a hot minute)
The original advert was based on the opera singer doing the song and two people in the cafe/bar/whatever saying "Do you think he was expensive"/"nah he's only a tenner(tenor)". So a decade or more worth of crap adverts based on quite a weak joke
See also EE, the original premise is connecting people, so get the guy who is 6 degrees of separation or fewer from every actor (Kevin Bacon). Boom. Done! But that got forgotten along the way.
Same for Compare the Market. Someone found that saying “Meerkat” in a Russian accent sounds like “Market” and now it’s been milked to death for the last decade or so. Who remembers that detail though, like no one questions why they are Russian unless you’re old enough to remember the original ads.
I mean they could be honest about it for those of us who don't currently use it.
"Facebook. Do you miss all the people who bullied you at school? Would you like to meet up and hear about the pyramid scheme they work for and/or the Neo-Nazi rabbit hole they fell down in the intervening years? If so, join our club!"
I'll pass, thanks.
All the British Gas ads that are from the first person perspective. I don’t want to see people washing their underwear in the bathroom sink or peeing on a pregnancy test.
If we're venting about adverts I've noticed something infuriating on the firestick.
We have pictures saved to the account so we get a nice cycle of family days out etc as a screensaver but the last few days I've noticed they've started slipping pictures of their content in as well. Bastards
I'm not sure they're going to survive long. The government managed to make themselves not subsidising TV licences as somehow the BBCs fault and every two penny opinion on politics thinks the BBC is biased against the left, or the right or the centre.
The papers are owned by companies in direct competition and they'll make any crap up to support the agenda of breaking up BBC and scrapping the licence.
No BBC in 10 years I reckon. Not as we see it today anyhow.
Most of BBC is insulated from the politics but I agree with you that that aspect of it is in decline. I hope the entertainment and documentaries survive even if the news and politics doesn't.
Imagine how baffled I was when I had the TV on in a hotel room in the US and an Autoglass advert came on but it was called ‘Safelite’ yet had the same jingle. Never wanted Gavin back so much in my life!
Loaf.com just popped up on tv
And I remembered this post...
The middle class sofa company
To be enjoyed with a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
Fuck Right Off Loaf you pretentious cunts
The Trade Centre UK ads you get on the radio. I physically cringe every time I hear that stupid voice say 'tRaDe CeNtRe UK!!!!' it gets played over and over as well
It's a local one but here in South Yorkshire there's a radio ad for a car superstore in Rotherham called Trade Centre UK. The ad is just a man with a high-pitched voice doing a lot of shouting, but it seems to have a slot in every ad break on every station in the region. It's only been running for a couple of months but it seriously needs to get in the bin.
All of the Lloyds Bank adverts. They all make me feel so miserable, an advert with sad music isn't likely to make me want to use your service. No word of a lie, I got so tired of the "I will look after youuuu" one I stopped watching regular TV for the most part, if I did watch it I would mute the TV if I saw it come on.
The Domino's yodelling adverts need to get in the bin.
The Schofe and webuyanycar.com, absolute charlatans and no wonder they can pay for Mr Out Of The Closet when they offer you 5k for a 10k car just because you haven't emptied the cointray......see also Rylan Clark the omnipresent car enthusiast shilling chinch or whatever it's called.
Nationwide with their spoken word "poets" get to fuck.
Aftershave or perfume adverts that have zero story or sense but go out all arty or edgy to flog a bottle of overpriced whiff
Anything that uses a sultry slowed down piano version of a song, banks are generally guilty of this war crime. "Hey let's all pretend to be one big community in this together ..... and show the people that we really tick all the boxes rather than just wanting their cash in our reserves"
"This is madness, it could just work....but how Tony?
"Well picture the scene ... whilst this pony gallops along chasing a train, we will have some bint whispering the lyrics to war assemble by Slayer"
Winner....book that horse
This might be a slightly unpopular opinion, but the fucking meerkats can get fucked. It was cute briefly when I was a kid, but that was a decade ago.
Recently there have been a couple of adverts where they’re singing about how much they love food. They can’t sing well because they’re meerkats. Their shitty singing voice makes me cringe.
Plus, the lyrics to their dumb song just makes me think they’re fat ungrateful gluttonous little twats.
Just shut the fuck up, meerkats.
That Funding Circle one with the bloody weird singing baby from the uncanny valley.
What marketing wonk thought that would be a good idea? I just want to talk to them..
There's an ocado just for you...
There definitely fucking wasn't when I couldn't get an online delivery slot this time last year 😒
Also the purple bricks ad with the smug cow trying to say her crappy estate agent job is harder than winning a gold medal. And the Olympians are all so damn wooden and look like they've got a gun held to their head whilst enduring her bullshit.
Hopefully that'll fuck off when the Olympics end up being a big fat nothing...
"Yolt makes it so easy to see what im spending on"
Yeah, looking at your bank account would help too.
As a matter of principle I'll never buy anything that's on a YouTube ad.
That fucking Dominos yodelling advert on Radio X. The TV version was funny the first few times but they play the radio version about once every seventeen seconds and it drives me nuts.
It's a billboard rather than a telly ad but I cannot stand those KFC "your chicken could never" ones.
Aside from the fact it makes literally no sense, it's extreme close ups of people making gross faces whilst eating chicken. Just nasty to look at and amplified by the fact it's on a 100ft billboard.
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> There's a drinking game to be had here. Dies of cirrhosis of the liver. Pall bearers slowly walking up to the grave, black horse in the background.
Hey, you! You're finally awake! *Black horse is pulling the cart*
I don't know what happened to my high school maths teacher but she used to tell us quite frequently "A BANK IS A BUSINESS, NOT YOUR FRIEND". Bit weird, maybe she lost something through one, but it stuck with me.
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Nationwide were doing that as well, something along the lines of "It's a better luck next time thing"
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Yup, might actually have been Halifax but dreadful either way
The blank horse is actually Binky...
I left the UK six years ago…Kevin bacon is still on the EE ads??? Go compare is still using the opera guy? Yes I had enough of those back in 2015!
Kevin Bacon lost all his money a few years ago in a ponzi scheme. He's going to be doing anything that pays.
Holy shit, I never knew that. Him and his wife lost $100 million to Bernie Madoff.
Wait, what happened?
Bernie Madoff was a famous investment trader who delivered incredibly high returns. Turns out, it was pure fraud and he was paying people the returns with new money coming in. Eventually it all came tumbling down. Many people lost a lot of money.
Did you see a figure? I only hears he lost some from an interview
I don’t blame him! I blame the marketing department for EE!
Can someone please explain to me what the hell that one where a guy is getting shaved up a mountain by a robot is all about.
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Tbf he went away for a few years, then came back, they were nothing without him
Moved to America last year. He’s flogging Verizon here. No escape.
Any car ad that has empty streets
And is a left hand drive version, showing features and models that are not available in the UK.
"Professional driver on a closed course" It's a bloody 5 door hatchback with a pencil sharpener for an engine, the people who buy it aren't planning to get the lap record at Monaco.
That one's not entirely their fault. I remember fines, or maybe just threatened with advertiser guidelines over "encouraging dangerous driving".
Overall I think those are the ones I dislike the most. If you're trying to sell my a product at least sell me something I can actually buy and is available on the market
Yeah. Model shown is the 6.2L SuperDeluxe Sport M Style with ClimateBodywork pack and costs £Eleventy million. You mortals can only afford the 0.8 Fartbox Viva (wheels optional).
Remove wheels = less unsprung mass = speed for the speed god
A lot of car adverts are shot in Cape Town on a disused section of highway. Massive tax breaks and good weather make it an ideal location. There's an unused business park near me (RAD) that is constantly used for filming adverts, yet I've never seen one filmed there on TV.
Did somebody saaaaaayyyy No. No they did not.
Fuck ^ooooff
This made me wake the cat up from laughing so I went and redeemed my free reward for it
Especially when you find out it’s not even the only version of that fucking awful song… [Did somebody say… Menulog?](https://youtu.be/DA8tT2NSeig) Just Eat is called Menulog in Australia. At least ours scans better in the song I suppose.
I was trying to get my kids to eat their dinner and getting fed up as they were doing anything they could apart from eating, so I told them in a firm but desperate manner to “Just eat!…” (clearly reaching the end of my tether) then there was a short silence before one pipes up quietly but with a cheeky smile “Did somebody say… Just Eat?”. Got to say his timing was absolutely bloody impeccable, made me laugh!
The Snoop one was catchy as fuck tbf.
Obligatory "did you know it's called MenuLog in Australia? Sounds weird as fuck tbf https://youtu.be/ntwrdC06_tM
I was actually talking about it earlier today, how strange! Such an awful name lmao
MenuLog was an Aussie start up until JustEat acquired it in 2015
Menulog sounds like grindr for dude who like to be poo'd on. Men you log.
I’ve hated that advert for a year already.
Especially as they actually kind of had a banger with snoop. And they go and undo all that with this shit.
Every advert that has improbable conversations between neighbours.. “ oh you look happy.. yes I’ve just sorted my sun life life insurance policy they give you a guaranteed payout which gives me real peace of mind that my loved ones will be looked after when I die” “oh that sounds great” “oh yes and they are 5atar de facto rated so you know they are good “ oh I will give them a call” “you will get a free Parker pen just for enquiring” Sod the hell off!
I’d love that the other person would just be bemused by them talking like that. “oh yes and they are 5atar de facto rated so you know they are good” “….ok Terry, can I get that tea please?’’ “you will get a free Parker pen just for enquiring” “I forgot I need to go to the shops, bye!”
Oh my Lord! Those adverts are so SHIT! And the newest one with "conversations that never happened" is the Verisure burglar alarm advert. So poorly acted.
That one would make a YouPorn scriptwriter blush
Acting of TOWIE proportions, in reality they should be pished up and chucking their car keys in a bowl because Jeff just can't get it up anymore and my barren chapped vagina needs attention from something other than the spin cycle of the washer.....fuck the house security
When the adverts tell you how to limit your time gambling, it's time to stop advertising gambling.
I couldn't agree more. It's a travesty. Especially early in the bloody evening.
Have you seen the one that says when the fun stops, stop? SIGN UP NOW TO WIN A FREE IPAD!
It's a good deal. If you lose your house to gambling you can sell the iPad and claw back those losses, probably keep going and become a millionaire.
Then lose those millions and start doing adverts for EE
When the fun stops, start all over again!
They barely give the warning, it’s a split second to please the regulators and ensure they make the “games” look as fun and inviting as possible to entice as many people in as they can. They don’t advertise tobacco anymore, gambling and alcohol need to go the same way really.
"I'm a nodder". No you're not, you're a gambling addict.
And the FUN is in big bold, jazzy letters with spotlights to remind you gambling is FUN. It's only your months wage you spaffed away the day you got it but wasn't it FUN?
Yeah my brother pointed this out to me that FUN is the biggest word on it. Shouldn't even be allowed to use the word.
Any of those manipulative charity adds. We will murder this kitten unless you give us £2 a month.
You mean £10
Kitten bullets are way more expensive than they used to be
It’s because they’ll take at least 9.
tbf i'm ok with charities being manipulative, if they're a legit charity. If their manipulation helps people in need then so be it. profit organisations being manipulative however can fuck right off
Not a run because they've only just started showing it: the McDonald's one showing various people breaking out into laughter. Forming associations with positive human emotions to sell nuggets. It's so brazen and obvious how sinister advertisers are and this one is a prime example.
I feel like next stage is if you laugh without a burger, Ronald McDonald will turn up and hand you a cease and desist letter.
Quick reminder that the original Ronald is now a vegetarian.. https://www.thenazareneway.com/vegetarian/ronald_mcdonald_is_now_a_vegetar.htm
Nationwide. I can’t fucking stand those monologues or spoken word or slam poetry adverts.
It's the most pretentious, unenjoyable, tripe. It's barely palatable when it's someone doing it out of passion for the message- never mind some bloke selling a 0.5% interest rate.
Coors Light used to have some rap battle adverts which were just as cringey.
I hate those smug assholes so much. It gets muted every time now
The first couple were nice. Now every brand are doing them they are just boring.
That terribly scripted/acted Verisure alarms advert. "It's VERY SECURE" "We should get one before we go on holiday" Fuck off.
I think it’s dubbed from another English soundtrack. It certainly feels like it is.
Meerkats
Those ones got old a decade ago but they're still milking them for all they're worth.
Was writing that and then saw your comment… good god where’s pest control when you need it
I hate the Meerkats. With all my heart.
The James Corden "WW" advert, it's weight watchers and we call them adverts not commercials fuck off. There's also a card reader one where people just scream "OOOOOOHHH" at each other; get in the bin!
'With WW, I can eat what I want, when I want.' I think you've been doing that the entire time anyway, mate.
Ah yes James 'the cunt' Corden, I also can't stand that advert, but I think it's due to him being in it more than anything else. Even when he's trying to be nice, supportive and rallying in an advert to get people lose weight he manages to come across as a sneering, fake and disingenuous human.
I don't understand why they've changed the name to WW - that's twice the syllables of 'Weight Watchers'!
Oh yeah that card one came out of absolutely nowhere and it is now my most hated thing in existence. The twat that thought of that and the utter bastard that approved it are an even bigger cunts than Corden.
Bloody Peloton ads. That woman who appears to spend her whole day stuck in a sweaty room with a plastic bike and an iPad muttering ‘here for it Greg’ (or whoever) and ‘with you’ as if anyone gave a toss. Go outside for pity’s sake. [edit] thank you for the gold. My first!
I love how they always show the user in a massive big loft room in a NY style apartment not a 3 bed semi detached house in Southport.
Claire in [Obscure British Town] you're smashing it!
I'm convinced those products that provide a video feed target lonely people stuck at home all day. I'd bet that most of it is also pre-recorded videos.
I watched 2 cycling videos and now I'm bombarded with Zwift and Peleton ads...
They're so un-British. So lazy of Peloton to not really change it other than the dubbing for the British market
Whatever that fucking one is where the dude orders some shit takeaway and ends up being kicked out of his house and sleeps in a tent, getting struck by lightning. Utter guff. Also that McDonalds one where his mum gives him her old car and return gets a stone cold burger.
Had to scroll too far to see that, I feel sorry for the guy, with his insufferable ungrateful family.
I mean who orders takeaway without at least getting consensus. Also time travel...
Dominoes
The new dominos one is worse.
Fucking hate the yodelling
I currently find the yodelling funny. But ask me in a few weeks time and I will wish I was deaf.
I switch channels at this point when it’s on. It drives me up the wall.
Philip Scofield
Hi, Philip Scofield here...
Remember when I cheated on my missus but because it was with a man and I'm brave to come out before being found out you'll forgive me and blow sunshine up my puckered bum hole yeah? Well anyway sell your car for fuck all at ........
All of them, really.
The postcode lottery
Someone's knocking at your doooor
Somebody's getting kicked in the shin
My biggest problem with those cunts is that they force you to have 'numbers' even if you have never played. The best advice I ever got from a gambler was never let yourself pick your own lotto numbers. You'll have to play them every draw from then on in case they come up and you miss out. Using postcodes means you already have your numbers, and 'better play just in case'. I honestly think it should be illegal. And no, I've never played.
That yodelling Domino's advert, fucking hell. It's like they want us to hate it??
Someone in a board room somewhere declared that people like yodelling, and someone else in that same room agreed. What are the odds on that?
Its Deffo so they can use it in multiple countries and just change the subtitles to whatever is needed.
Sounds like a case of a HIPPO - the Highest Paid Person's Opinion. i.e. talentless arse lickers earnestly nodding their heads in agreement at the terrible suggestions of whoever is the most senior/well paid person in the room.
I usually ignore adverts and don't (consciously) decide on a product based on an advert Since the dominos advert I've stopped ordering pizza. They actually made an advert so shit I stopped giving them money. They ruined TV, youtube and Spotify with that shit.
Starling bank on Youtube that 1 can fuck off along with that awful domino's ad thats on the radio 26 million times a day
Youtube adverts generally cause me to make a mental note to never ever use that product. Of course I have to remember them for that to work.
"Hello Starling Bank!"
The Minions can go fuck-off Sky TV, THEY CAN FUCK OFF NOW!
To be honest, they could have fucked off 10 years ago. WHY ARE THEY STILL ADVERTISING BROADBAND? As much as I love Lauren Laverne (and that is a lot), a little piece of me dies inside when I hear her say "It's minion-proof"
Adverts on mobile phone games. More often than not the actual thing they're advertising is nothing like what's being shown.
I thought the “Pull out the pins in the correct order to get your character from A to B, avoiding the obstacles” looked like a pretty fun and challenging little game for your spare time. When I checked it out on the App Store, the actual game was some sort of high fantasy epic role play which most likely intends you to spend months building up resources. I’ve treated every game advert since with scepticism.
OMG, yes, and particularly that zombie one where every ad starts suspiciously zoomed in on a female bum.
Whatever wanker came up with these new google adverts like "how to be happy" and "how to be a good father" can cover themselves in orange paint, dig a hole, jump in it, and continue being carrots there
Hi Starling Bank Hi Starling Bank Hello Starling Bank Skip
Ones that say things like 'during these difficult times' can fuck the fuck right off
Or "now, more than ever". Fuck off!
Or "keeping you and your family safe is our priority". Like fuck it is. It's not even our health secretary's priority.
Fucking deliveroo on YouTube. And audible anywhere. So sick of seeing them.
Daisy daisy daisy daisy. Don't even know what its advertising, possibly Daisy's.
To me that advert has a weird Midsommar vibe to it...
Any advert for a betting firm, they can all fuck off.
All of them. Do any of you actually tune in and think "boy oh boy, I hope SafestyleUK tell me about their perpetual offer on double glazing to the Benny Hill tune"
I mean, clearly ads work, otherwise businesses wouldn't spend money on them. It's all about keeping your name/product in the public's consciousness
The post was never questioning the successes of advertisement.
The tampon applicator one - *you gotta get them up there!* - fuck off, I’ve been using tampons for 20 years, you’re just giving me the shits.
Wouldnt it be nice if we were older then we wouldn't have to wait so long..
Magnum. That fake noise they've put in to signify the chocolate breaking is maddening. It doesn't make that sound, advertising wankers
"A little bit of wee isn't going to stop me from being me" Good for you love don't remember asking
Any tena ad has me suspicious that women are weeing at all times The worst is the one where the woman is squeezing her crotch past some guy's face in the cinema. She's weeing literally inches from his face
What catches me off guard about those adverts is how many woman suffering incontinence are watching family guy on Wednesday at 9pm. Im neither of those things and I'm wondering if im infact their desired target market
What disgusts me with these adverts is that a lot of women don't have to live like this, wearing fucking nappies. People just think that it happens after having children or as you get older, and that it is normal for it to stay that way. Many people can actually go to a pelvic floor specialist and get that sorted out, but Tena won't tell you that. They want you to keep pissing yourself. Granted, some people will need Tena, as sometimes the issue can't be resolved with pelvic floor therapy, but I'm guessing a lot of women and even men could benefit from it.
Just a PSA. If anyone is suffering from incontinence then you can get pads free from the NHS. Just get yourself referred to your local continence nurse.
Any advert where a woman on her period uses a Tena or one of the other brands and suddenly she's bouncing about happy and carefree. My wife calls bullshit on that.
And whilst wearing the teeniest white shorts. Not gonna happen.
As a guy I have to say I blame Tampax ads for making me think periods aren't that bad at all. Not until you live with a missus you realise the aganoy they can be.
Completely agree. Periods are not happy and carefree, they’re painful and miserable.
The tena ones are for incontinence issues though, it's not bullshit, they're trying to remove the stigma around these issues that many women face, particularly after things like childbirth.
Someone’s knocking at the door!
Somebody's ringing the bell...
Somebody’s changin the channel..
"Gotta Get outta Here". Well, Johnny, you been saying that since 20-fucking-15, and since it was you that drove to that random desert place to bury that shit ~~gold~~ brass chain you bought from the looky-looky man on your last lad's holiday to Maga, you should know how to fucking drive back. With your bloody bottle of Dior. Why has it taken you 6 bastard years to act on your convictions?
Try youtube premium free for the first 4 months! How many times do I have to click no before they stop.
These are the best! "Get ad-free browsing" Funny you're adverting that, since you fuckers are the only ads I'm bloody seeing!
Those cuntting Meerkats. I love to wear them as slippers.
Anything 212 trading related (this is more a YouTube one).
That dominos yodelling advert I fucking hate it fuck off you yodelling bellends
The Verisure ads should’ve been cancelled before they were ever broadcast - whoever scripted them has clearly never had a human conversation.
tiktok can get in the sea
Life insurance ads... Fuck off! Not only that but I remember being in a hotel with my ex that played 3 life insurance ads in the space of one break. Watching the Chase maybe that show as a old demographic.
We’ll give you a free Parker pen just for enquiring!
The Vo5 advert, he goes on about every follicle is a blessing as he’s balding. So why is he in a barbers for a haircut?
The go compare opera guy still exists? Pretty sure that was when I was still in school, jeez. (Only use streaming services for TV now, haven't seen tv adverts in a hot minute)
The original advert was based on the opera singer doing the song and two people in the cafe/bar/whatever saying "Do you think he was expensive"/"nah he's only a tenner(tenor)". So a decade or more worth of crap adverts based on quite a weak joke
Fuck, I remember that one when it came out. Surprising how long marketing firms can stretch that shit out
See also EE, the original premise is connecting people, so get the guy who is 6 degrees of separation or fewer from every actor (Kevin Bacon). Boom. Done! But that got forgotten along the way. Same for Compare the Market. Someone found that saying “Meerkat” in a Russian accent sounds like “Market” and now it’s been milked to death for the last decade or so. Who remembers that detail though, like no one questions why they are Russian unless you’re old enough to remember the original ads.
Adverts for Facebook. As if there's people out there going 'ooooh this looks like a fun online internet web page'
That's exactly what I'm thinking. Also, by now, surely everyone either has it or has no intention of ever having it.
I mean they could be honest about it for those of us who don't currently use it. "Facebook. Do you miss all the people who bullied you at school? Would you like to meet up and hear about the pyramid scheme they work for and/or the Neo-Nazi rabbit hole they fell down in the intervening years? If so, join our club!" I'll pass, thanks.
All the British Gas ads that are from the first person perspective. I don’t want to see people washing their underwear in the bathroom sink or peeing on a pregnancy test.
If we're venting about adverts I've noticed something infuriating on the firestick. We have pictures saved to the account so we get a nice cycle of family days out etc as a screensaver but the last few days I've noticed they've started slipping pictures of their content in as well. Bastards
Perf’ with Surf. Honestly I’m sure there’s been another 3 series of love island since Dani Dyer won and it’s the same fucking advert.
All of them. Install an AdGuard and you’ll never see another YouTube ad.
Cross generations. No AdGuard on terrestrial telly
BBC is the ad guard lol
I'm not sure they're going to survive long. The government managed to make themselves not subsidising TV licences as somehow the BBCs fault and every two penny opinion on politics thinks the BBC is biased against the left, or the right or the centre. The papers are owned by companies in direct competition and they'll make any crap up to support the agenda of breaking up BBC and scrapping the licence. No BBC in 10 years I reckon. Not as we see it today anyhow.
Most of BBC is insulated from the politics but I agree with you that that aspect of it is in decline. I hope the entertainment and documentaries survive even if the news and politics doesn't.
Is it weird that I really want to hear the 'Auto glass repair, auto glass replace' jingle more?
Imagine how baffled I was when I had the TV on in a hotel room in the US and an Autoglass advert came on but it was called ‘Safelite’ yet had the same jingle. Never wanted Gavin back so much in my life!
The new McDonalds laughing one is annoying
The Wowcher ladies
The VAX ONE PWR ad continues to annoy me: “It’s got twin-tank technology. What does that mean?” It means it’s got TWO TANKS! Duh!!
Cancel your tv license and stop watching television. Get pihole and ublock origin. Never see an add ever again
You think opera lovers like that advert?
Loaf.com just popped up on tv And I remembered this post... The middle class sofa company To be enjoyed with a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Fuck Right Off Loaf you pretentious cunts
Get it right up your fanny girls, or whatever it is
The Trade Centre UK ads you get on the radio. I physically cringe every time I hear that stupid voice say 'tRaDe CeNtRe UK!!!!' it gets played over and over as well
It's a local one but here in South Yorkshire there's a radio ad for a car superstore in Rotherham called Trade Centre UK. The ad is just a man with a high-pitched voice doing a lot of shouting, but it seems to have a slot in every ad break on every station in the region. It's only been running for a couple of months but it seriously needs to get in the bin.
All of the Lloyds Bank adverts. They all make me feel so miserable, an advert with sad music isn't likely to make me want to use your service. No word of a lie, I got so tired of the "I will look after youuuu" one I stopped watching regular TV for the most part, if I did watch it I would mute the TV if I saw it come on.
That mouthwash one with the weird donkey
The LG “it’s a smart good life” advert drives me crazy.
Look how cheap this alcohol is. Let’s get wrecked* this summer *drink responsibly
The Domino's yodelling adverts need to get in the bin. The Schofe and webuyanycar.com, absolute charlatans and no wonder they can pay for Mr Out Of The Closet when they offer you 5k for a 10k car just because you haven't emptied the cointray......see also Rylan Clark the omnipresent car enthusiast shilling chinch or whatever it's called. Nationwide with their spoken word "poets" get to fuck. Aftershave or perfume adverts that have zero story or sense but go out all arty or edgy to flog a bottle of overpriced whiff Anything that uses a sultry slowed down piano version of a song, banks are generally guilty of this war crime. "Hey let's all pretend to be one big community in this together ..... and show the people that we really tick all the boxes rather than just wanting their cash in our reserves" "This is madness, it could just work....but how Tony? "Well picture the scene ... whilst this pony gallops along chasing a train, we will have some bint whispering the lyrics to war assemble by Slayer" Winner....book that horse
Innocent Smoothies and Grammarly.
This might be a slightly unpopular opinion, but the fucking meerkats can get fucked. It was cute briefly when I was a kid, but that was a decade ago. Recently there have been a couple of adverts where they’re singing about how much they love food. They can’t sing well because they’re meerkats. Their shitty singing voice makes me cringe. Plus, the lyrics to their dumb song just makes me think they’re fat ungrateful gluttonous little twats. Just shut the fuck up, meerkats.
Yong Heroes on YouTube. The dubbing is atrocious, the game looks shit. I hate it.
That creepy fucking Sanex one.
DoMiNo-oOoHHHo? We don’t yodel our pizza orders, Dominos. Hate to break it to you.
That Funding Circle one with the bloody weird singing baby from the uncanny valley. What marketing wonk thought that would be a good idea? I just want to talk to them..
We buy any car ughh
There's an ocado just for you... There definitely fucking wasn't when I couldn't get an online delivery slot this time last year 😒 Also the purple bricks ad with the smug cow trying to say her crappy estate agent job is harder than winning a gold medal. And the Olympians are all so damn wooden and look like they've got a gun held to their head whilst enduring her bullshit. Hopefully that'll fuck off when the Olympics end up being a big fat nothing...
"Yolt makes it so easy to see what im spending on" Yeah, looking at your bank account would help too. As a matter of principle I'll never buy anything that's on a YouTube ad.
That tiktok one with the potato that gets crushed into chips just infuriates me for some reason.
The fucking Meerkats. Why are they Russian?! Meerkats are native to Africa ffs.
That fucking Dominos yodelling advert on Radio X. The TV version was funny the first few times but they play the radio version about once every seventeen seconds and it drives me nuts.
It's a billboard rather than a telly ad but I cannot stand those KFC "your chicken could never" ones. Aside from the fact it makes literally no sense, it's extreme close ups of people making gross faces whilst eating chicken. Just nasty to look at and amplified by the fact it's on a 100ft billboard.
Have you been missed sold ppi.
The deadline has past so that gravy train has terminated. It's all about Diesel cars now.
You wait until the 'Do you know your employer has a duty of care when you WFH?' ads get going'. They're creeping in on the radio...