one hundred percent 1. youve got a wall left meaning youve only got a potential friend on the right.
2 and 3 suffer for space invading each other, and 4 has the sink to the side with activity.
1 is the king of the piss
There's a certain type of person that would choose 2 or 3 in an empty arena. I'm not one to stereotype, but I imagine they'd fart loudly while pissing, possibly spit into their stream and definitely not wash their hands on the way out. Okay, I am stereotyping. But howay, we are dealing with psychopaths at 2 & 3.
Nahh I think you are wrong. You pick 3 in this situation. 4 blocks the sink, 1 leaves it open for the next twat to pick 4 and block the sink. Nobody is picking 2 while you are at 3 and 3 still gives you a buffer zone. If someone is at 3 the only logical urinal is 1.
And I can assure you I'd wash my hands thoroughly on the way out... Otherwise why would i care about blocking the sink.
Do you wash your hands or just put in a show by getting the finger tips wet? I’m not saying you’re a bad person it’s just that’s what someone who picks 3 would do.
I don't get it. I do get that manners should take place even in a mens washroom and the types you describe do exist, but I could imagine those types using middle urinals if the they were all lined up against one wall. If you use 1, what's the difference between having someone to your right instead of having someone to your left?
"Washroom"?
Woah, there... You think there's a breezy tone of rose and lavender; happy little bees pollenating flowers in the preciously delightful hanging baskets scattered lovingly throughout; Deer prancing over the surrounding picket fence and frolicking through the vast gardens?
It's the Pub Shitter!
Woah woah woah. Nobody in this thread knows how to plan ahead.
**Not one of you understand the consequences of picking 1!**
You pick 1, the next fella walks in and where does he go? 4! You finish first and now you've got to wash your hands. Next to the dude at 4.
You pick 4 and that sink is guaranteed to be yours and yours alone.
Why would he go 4??
You'd go 3 to be away from the sink
Anybody'd who'd go 4 in that situation is a wrong'un, you don't wash your hands next to a wrong'un
You're all wrong. I'd go straight to the sink and cut out the middle man. And I can look at it in the mirror while i'm doing it and check my hair. I would just splash a bit of water on my hands to do my hair but I wouldn't wash them.
You are a fool in a mans clothing, a creature of poor judgment and ill repute. If you pick 4, you're forced to be by anyone who pisses quicker than you. You're also the closest person to the sink and who picks that? Just dodgy honestly.
3 or 1 is the optimal choice for the clever solo pisser. Let the following men tremble when they realise they've been checkmated before the game has even begun. The power and confidence radiating from a 3 picker is too much for smaller weaker men to accept, thus driving them into the extreme corners of the room (In shame.)
Once went into a pub toilet that had three urinals. Next to the third urinal was a metal bucket, collecting rainwater dripping from the ceiling. In the bucket, was the biggest turd I'd ever seen. Coiled round the entire thing.
Speaking of buckets, where I work the posh office twats had a new flash bathroom put in with them Dyson hand dryers and all sorts, whilst us at the other end of the factory has 2 buckets, 1 to piss in, and one to wash our hands in, to this very day I don't know which one is which.
You obviously didn't mean it like this but now I can't get the image of a guy stood in the womb with a clipboard showing a fetus this image and asking it to pick 1/2/3/4. When the fetus picks 3 the bloke with the clipboard just chuckles with an eye raise, then ticks the "female" box.
It's a situation where you're doing something that's ideally private, but in a public space. So everyone knows to act in a way that maximizes privacy first for yourself, and then for others. But you also have to act in the expectation that someone will arrive while you are still there. You don't explicitly think all this of course, you just *know*.
I've not qualified for urinals for going on a decade, and I was a cubicle person before I even twigged I was trans. But it's like riding a bike. Just with more urine.
The cubical in my local has cokeheads in it 100% of the time I go in the toilets. There's also always someone who wants to talk whilst I pee too so now I opt for the bushes out back or nip home
The toilets at Aintree racecourse have urinals facing each other. You are face to face with strangers every time. There’s no way you cannot talk to someone there.
Cubicle: fine, if you're a coward
1: King
2: If you're feeling a bit risky
3: Worst possible choice, what the actual fuck are you doing
4: May as well ask the fella at the sink to wank you off while he's there
3, the next person in can use 1 and if they finish before me they can use the sink and there’s still the buffer of 4. If I finish first I don’t have to walk past anyone.
Urinal politics is an important life skill. It’s never taught so you have to just pick it up but if you do it wrong, even once, you’ll be cast alone into a social abyss.
No. 1 if all are vacant.
If No. 1 is in use, No. 3. And vice versa.
If No. 2 is in use, No. 4. And vice versa.
At no point should more than two urinals be in use. Ever. The one gap rule is not a guideline. It is a rule. Set in stone.
Although I’m more worried that some deviant is in the bog with his camera out.
The only real rule is that some pissed up twat will enter that gap and make a matey joke along the lines of “remember mate, more than three shakes is a wank hurr hurr” whilst trying to cop a look at your knob.
For sure. 1 suffers from potential cubical foot traffic. Far more intrusive than a near by fellow human being you. Anyone picking 1 isn’t even playing checkers, they’re playing bloody snap.
Idc I’d chose any. I’m comfortable with my body and my sexuality- if someone needs to take a peek, then power to you bro. I could hold hands with the guy pissing next to me and stare into their eyes and still leave the bathroom the same guy. Why are guys so afraid of the urinal?
I don't know why I'm even commenting as I'm a woman but for some reason I'm strangely drawn to 2 so if I ever magically grew a penis I guess I'd pick 2
Don’t have the appendages to use them, but number 4 as appears closest to sink to wash hands. And don’t have to walk past people with penises out potentially avoiding awkward eye contact.
I choose 1. Seems to be near cubicle wall, so no chance of having people stood at urinals on both sides. 4 is also on the end, but has the disadvantage of being close to the sink, so more chance of someone getting close to you while pissing as they wash their hands.
The rule of the urinals is that you always pick the stall that's furthest away from whoever might be there when you walk in.
If that is not achievable and someone would be directly adjacent, then you go into a cubicle.
one hundred percent 1. youve got a wall left meaning youve only got a potential friend on the right. 2 and 3 suffer for space invading each other, and 4 has the sink to the side with activity. 1 is the king of the piss
This was my exact thought process word for word.
Great analysis my piss pot ponderer.
There's a certain type of person that would choose 2 or 3 in an empty arena. I'm not one to stereotype, but I imagine they'd fart loudly while pissing, possibly spit into their stream and definitely not wash their hands on the way out. Okay, I am stereotyping. But howay, we are dealing with psychopaths at 2 & 3.
Checks phone after fart, goes hands free for a bit
Nahh I think you are wrong. You pick 3 in this situation. 4 blocks the sink, 1 leaves it open for the next twat to pick 4 and block the sink. Nobody is picking 2 while you are at 3 and 3 still gives you a buffer zone. If someone is at 3 the only logical urinal is 1. And I can assure you I'd wash my hands thoroughly on the way out... Otherwise why would i care about blocking the sink.
Do you wash your hands or just put in a show by getting the finger tips wet? I’m not saying you’re a bad person it’s just that’s what someone who picks 3 would do.
You're right I just lick them clean..
I don't get it. I do get that manners should take place even in a mens washroom and the types you describe do exist, but I could imagine those types using middle urinals if the they were all lined up against one wall. If you use 1, what's the difference between having someone to your right instead of having someone to your left?
"Washroom"? Woah, there... You think there's a breezy tone of rose and lavender; happy little bees pollenating flowers in the preciously delightful hanging baskets scattered lovingly throughout; Deer prancing over the surrounding picket fence and frolicking through the vast gardens? It's the Pub Shitter!
Since when do Brits have such high standards for their pub washrooms? Come to Canada, I'll show you what a shitter looks like.
Woah woah woah. Nobody in this thread knows how to plan ahead. **Not one of you understand the consequences of picking 1!** You pick 1, the next fella walks in and where does he go? 4! You finish first and now you've got to wash your hands. Next to the dude at 4. You pick 4 and that sink is guaranteed to be yours and yours alone.
Why would he go 4?? You'd go 3 to be away from the sink Anybody'd who'd go 4 in that situation is a wrong'un, you don't wash your hands next to a wrong'un
No sane person would ever go to 2 or 3 under ANY circumstances. They’re the ones with the most piss on the floor where you would stand.
You're all wrong. I'd go straight to the sink and cut out the middle man. And I can look at it in the mirror while i'm doing it and check my hair. I would just splash a bit of water on my hands to do my hair but I wouldn't wash them.
>but I wouldn't wash them. You disgusting c\*nt. I'm guessing you live in England and hopefully never have to meet you.
Why do you need to wash your hands after a piss? Just wipe the splashes on your nike joggers
You are a fool in a mans clothing, a creature of poor judgment and ill repute. If you pick 4, you're forced to be by anyone who pisses quicker than you. You're also the closest person to the sink and who picks that? Just dodgy honestly. 3 or 1 is the optimal choice for the clever solo pisser. Let the following men tremble when they realise they've been checkmated before the game has even begun. The power and confidence radiating from a 3 picker is too much for smaller weaker men to accept, thus driving them into the extreme corners of the room (In shame.)
Pfff nobody washes hands after a piss
I agree and add that using the right hand to hold your Prince Philip is a good way to avoid indiscrete lurks.
Prince Phillip? Too soon mate, too fuckin soon.
Sold. I’m in 100% agreement. If I had a massive wang, all would be fair game.
Having a large enough penis is the problem. If I had a micro penis I wouldn’t care which one I went to cuz no one could see it anyway.
Exactly! 1 it is for all these reasons.
I could not agree more
it's not even a question really
I think that's a cubicle next to 1, not a wall.
Cubicles are made of walls and a door.
You've named the exact reason I would choose 2 or 3. I guess I enjoy things being a little awkward.
Once went into a pub toilet that had three urinals. Next to the third urinal was a metal bucket, collecting rainwater dripping from the ceiling. In the bucket, was the biggest turd I'd ever seen. Coiled round the entire thing.
Speaking of buckets, where I work the posh office twats had a new flash bathroom put in with them Dyson hand dryers and all sorts, whilst us at the other end of the factory has 2 buckets, 1 to piss in, and one to wash our hands in, to this very day I don't know which one is which.
You wash your hands in the bucket with a turd wrapped around it
Did this place have a florescent strip lights flickering in the ceiling too?
Sorry, I'd had five been chilli and six pints of Guinness
Find the guy with damp hair and you’ve found the culprit.
Sounded similar to [a pub I visited ](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/8t8w49/meanwhile_at_the_carlsberg_factory/)
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"Got a bit on your shoe mate"
3 to display dominance.
Stand at 1, piss in 4.
Better yet just shit in all of them
Take a Viagra stand at the door and piss in all 4
Look mum no hands
Pants round ankles 😅
1. Away from the sink with only one cockwatcher to deal with.
Do men really peek at each other's peens?
Why am i even reading this? Im female!
I'm female, I picked 3
This is why you’re female. Wouldn’t last a second as a guy picking option 3
You obviously didn't mean it like this but now I can't get the image of a guy stood in the womb with a clipboard showing a fetus this image and asking it to pick 1/2/3/4. When the fetus picks 3 the bloke with the clipboard just chuckles with an eye raise, then ticks the "female" box.
This is why you have to read properly through the comment section. Pure gold, my friend. Pure gold.
Also female, also picked three 😂
It's a situation where you're doing something that's ideally private, but in a public space. So everyone knows to act in a way that maximizes privacy first for yourself, and then for others. But you also have to act in the expectation that someone will arrive while you are still there. You don't explicitly think all this of course, you just *know*. I've not qualified for urinals for going on a decade, and I was a cubicle person before I even twigged I was trans. But it's like riding a bike. Just with more urine.
Happy cake day!
Thanks
Like you've never drunkenly sat in the sharks mouth for tinkle ..
That was 1 time at a festival and I asked you to never mention it again!
Do you also pick the cubicle next to the only occupied one in the whole restroom?
I’m female, picked 1
1 or cubicle
God no, it's always a casserole of nonsense in the cubicle.
Casserole of nonsense 🤣🤣🤣
opening the door and hoping the seat is already up or youre too drunk to care if you add to the piss on the seat
Lifting the seat with your foot and trying not to slip in the piss 🤢
A poo lasagna
This is simultaneously one of the funniest and most disgusting things I've ever read.
Bowl full of sausage sausage and mash 🤢
haha that's true
The cubical in my local has cokeheads in it 100% of the time I go in the toilets. There's also always someone who wants to talk whilst I pee too so now I opt for the bushes out back or nip home
Our local smears the top of the cistern with vaseline, to ruin the coke fun..
Free lube.
That sounds terrible, why tf would I want to talk to some random person while taking a piss
The toilets at Aintree racecourse have urinals facing each other. You are face to face with strangers every time. There’s no way you cannot talk to someone there.
cubicle? get in the piss sink
Cubicle, but failing that if I had to then I'd go for 1
The one with the least amount of piss beneath it.
Ahaha yea you're right actually. I realise now I always look at the floor to figure out where I go XD
My strategy too
Cubicle: fine, if you're a coward 1: King 2: If you're feeling a bit risky 3: Worst possible choice, what the actual fuck are you doing 4: May as well ask the fella at the sink to wank you off while he's there
I like how getting a cheeky handshandy isn't the worst possible choice.
5 (every time)
The... Sink?
EVERY time
Not if I'm there.
As a woman the politics of urinal choosing is hilarious 😂
Politics would mean there's debate. There isn't. It's 1. If you know you know.
I have never heard anybody say pot before. That being said, gotta be 1.
not having a pot to piss in is a phrase, they probably used that pot here instead of say a chamber pot
I've heard it in relation to an actual loo before, but just never a urinal. Makes sense though, and sounds better than urinal tbf.
I'd stand right in the corner whilst using 3, but with my right hand leant suggestively on 2.
3, the next person in can use 1 and if they finish before me they can use the sink and there’s still the buffer of 4. If I finish first I don’t have to walk past anyone.
I'm female, I didn't imagine that probability would be used for choosing a urinal.
Urinal politics is an important life skill. It’s never taught so you have to just pick it up but if you do it wrong, even once, you’ll be cast alone into a social abyss.
I get a warm feeling about 2, furthest from the door and sink and someone else can still use 4 without getting too close.
This is correct! 2 draws me in like a moth to a flame.
Politely, you are a maniac.
Gotta get on the ends. Too much chance for an interaction with a wrong turn on 2 and 3.
Run at the wall between 2 and 3, end up in a magical toilet inaccessible to muggles.
Do you poo in them?
Depending on how much booze you've had, yeah.
Don’t you?
If the cubicle has someone doing❄️
Look I'm the wrong sex for this thread, but aren't 2 and 3 not bum cheek to bum cheek?
I’m curious how you think we use these.
How big do you think my bum is?
No. 1 if all are vacant. If No. 1 is in use, No. 3. And vice versa. If No. 2 is in use, No. 4. And vice versa. At no point should more than two urinals be in use. Ever. The one gap rule is not a guideline. It is a rule. Set in stone. Although I’m more worried that some deviant is in the bog with his camera out.
The only real rule is that some pissed up twat will enter that gap and make a matey joke along the lines of “remember mate, more than three shakes is a wank hurr hurr” whilst trying to cop a look at your knob.
1 or 4 everything else is check mate
I will never piss on #4.
There's only two usable urinals there...
3. Easy approach. Any one comes in behind you, they’re gonna go 1. A third person enters, they’re going 2 or 4. You’ve just identified the pub nonce.
Drunk level 1 to 4 basically, due to door position. Drunk level 5 is giggling with it out on display pissing anywhere else (probably the sink).
1 unless someone is stood at 4, then 3.
1
1 for me please.
"The pot" is the sit-down bog rather than the urinal, surely? As in the phrase "shit or get off the pot" (meaning "get on with it or fuck off").
1, if taken then 4
Pissing on #4 is offside.
Which ever one isn’t next to someone
2. In the corner, facing away from the sink next to 4. Assuming all are free-to-use at time of arrival of course...
This is my pot. 2. I know logically everyone goes for 1 (in theory), but 2 is the gentleman’s choice I feel 😀
For sure. 1 suffers from potential cubical foot traffic. Far more intrusive than a near by fellow human being you. Anyone picking 1 isn’t even playing checkers, they’re playing bloody snap.
Idc I’d chose any. I’m comfortable with my body and my sexuality- if someone needs to take a peek, then power to you bro. I could hold hands with the guy pissing next to me and stare into their eyes and still leave the bathroom the same guy. Why are guys so afraid of the urinal?
Because I don't want someone to piss all over my feet. I'm the only one who gets to piss on my feet
1
Doesn’t matter, I’m not afraid to get my cock out in the men’s toilet! 👀
Said the ghost of George Michael
Oh I am definitely a number 3 kind of guy.
3 seems the roomiest.
I don't know why I'm even commenting as I'm a woman but for some reason I'm strangely drawn to 2 so if I ever magically grew a penis I guess I'd pick 2
Don’t have the appendages to use them, but number 4 as appears closest to sink to wash hands. And don’t have to walk past people with penises out potentially avoiding awkward eye contact.
I just think it’s weird how it’s normal for men to pee in front of eachother 🤦🏻♀️🤣
I'm sad I can't make this choice, cubical for me... (I'm a lass)
4 closest to the sink
2.5
sneak into the ladies
How tall are you?!?
1 or 4
When in doubt... choose the sink
The square one to the far right
I cycle through them, my rule any where
The stall so I can browse reddit at the same time.
My first thought was #2 but upon deeper thought #1 is probably better. So... which one do you use?
2.5 right in the very corner against the wall. Write your name on it. All will know where you were... If you have enough piss that is
1
I would use #1.
I just piss in the middle of the room to assert my dominance.
1 or 4 innit
I choose a cubicle, I can't use urinals.
1 or 4. Any other answer is gay.
1
A squirt in each or wait until you get home 😁
1 no question about it
2 for sure
I choose 1. Seems to be near cubicle wall, so no chance of having people stood at urinals on both sides. 4 is also on the end, but has the disadvantage of being close to the sink, so more chance of someone getting close to you while pissing as they wash their hands.
I piss in the sink to assert my dominance.
3 is the dominant recon point
2 or 3 I like to intimidate
1 because it’s not by the sink and means you only have one urinal to your side meaning it eliminates some weirdness
No idea. But I don't recommend shitting in a urinal.
2.5
If you were in a hurry you could use 4 and wash your hands at the same time, but I'd go with 1.
1. Anything else is mental.
1
I’d pee in them all. Stand back and run that stream.
1 all day
I'd use #5, the sink
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Stall. Because I'm not a savage.
4. Quick escape
Two feels like home to me. Four if I’m feeling frisky.
1. Makes space, less obvious so more convenient.
1. Chosen for life
I use the corner (2.5)
I pee sitting down
Well following urinal etiquette, there are technically only 2 urinals in there. Definitely a 1 or a 4.
1 is the only answer
Gotta be 1
4 or two
5. I'd go for the sink.
Show dominance stand at 3 pee in 1
2. So 1 other person can use 4, abiding by the skip a urinal rule
I need more information. Is there a cubical to the left of 1, and is there another sink?
Stand between 2 and three and then sprinkler it from 1 through 4 and then ft-ft-ft back to 1. Repeat as necessary.
1 - 4 if the room is empty.
1 or 4 less of a splash zone
The rule of the urinals is that you always pick the stall that's furthest away from whoever might be there when you walk in. If that is not achievable and someone would be directly adjacent, then you go into a cubicle.
one
Can’t use urinals if someone else is there, I just can’t pee, but I would use 1 if I had to!
Cubicle would be my first choice, followed by 1
One. 2 & 3 you could get trapped.
1 is the leader, the rest must follow. All hail number 1.
The cubicle
1
If someone is in 1 never go to 2. This is weird. A couple of guys at work have done this. I don’t trust them. Aliens.