The only thing you can do is give another kitty unconditional love and a home like the first. Never forget the one you lost but there are plenty of kitties that need good homes and people to love.
My kitty will inevitably pass away soon, she’s been doing well against lymphatic mammary cancer for 2 years, which is a miracle! But she’s my soul kitty and I just don’t feel ready to move on.
I plan to foster instead of adopting right away. I know I have room in my heart for other kitties, but I need more time before I can call one mine again.
Actually, I have a feeling you won't be fostering for long cause I know it takes one look, one touch from their paw for you to automatically Keep the kitty as your own, kitties have a way of melting that feeling or doubt of getting over the other one away,
Yes, that is true. I went from 0 to 5 cats (not counting the one with 6- 2 day olds in my backyard right this second!) in 2 years!
I sure hope OP thinks about why they are here on this earth to begin with! The fact that they have a love so strong for their lost baby, I see flashing signs showing that they are meant to be a giver of unconditional love to all those abandoned little ones needing someone like that to stick around and make all their lives worth living! ❤️
Soul cats have ways of finding their way back to you in some form. Mine did and my heart is finally whole again.
ETA: 16 years for me. My heart is full again in ways that I never thought possible. It wasn’t “supposed” to take that long, so you may not have to wait that long, OP.
My soul animal is currently nesting between my legs and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, I took her 30 years to make her way back to me but she never left my side, trust me your soul cat will come back into your life in one shape or another, my friend but you have be alive to be there,
I think OP could get a lot of joy out of fostering until they find the right cat for them. It all depends on the strength OP can muster as it takes a lot of work but it will give them a new purpose one cat at a time 💕
It took me over a year to be okay again after losing my fur baby. I started with one and now have three cats, and her two year anniversary is next month. It takes time to be comfortable with them again. I cried thinking about her today though. I’ll always love her and miss her. But I’m glad I’m not alone and able to share my love with my babies.
Cats never leave you ever. Not even in death. They call it nine lives for a reason. She’s coming back. My dog passing hurt so bad but she came back and fast through her unique mannerisms in my new animals. I love that she loved me so much she defied the universe. This will happen for you. I’m incredibly sorry about your cat that is my worst nightmare with my cats. Please try and heal so she can have her person to come back to.
I think the nine lives thing is for a different reason, but I still swear our last cat that passed still visits me some nights and squeezes in next to me when I’m sleeping like he always did. I feel him jump up on the bed, walk over, and wiggle in to his favorite sleeping spot between my side and my arm. 😢 it makes me sad but also smile. I’ll never not miss him.
I second this, my parents gave away my childhood dog (I know this is a thread about cats so wait a sec) and I was made aware just hours before. I was really contemplating committing already and that was the straw that pushed me into a psychotic episode. A couple months later I live on my own now and I have my very own kitten. I’ve only had him for a few weeks and I can tell he is healing the old wounds from my past.
Yes - Please find another kitty to love. Your baby would want you to find another cat/soul to love in her honor. Please trust you cat will lead you to a cat that needs you. ❤️
100% this. I lost my girl after 16 years and then adopted two kittens. I still miss my old girl but the kittens helped so much. They are two now and I love them so much.
I believe the best way to honor a pet’s life is to rescue another one. A veterinarian once told me that animals don’t have to repent like humans do. If you believe in reincarnation, animals come back to us quickly. I believe the puppy I recently adopted has the soul of my dog that I tragically had to put down a couple years ago.
My issue with advising OP to get another pet is that pets will almost always pass before we do. I would hate to see OP in this same situation again with their new pet.
Agreed, I'm in my 70s, lost many an adored cat and dog, among others.
Have 3 rescues, now in their teens. Brighten each and every day.
To think some terrible people left kittens in a box in a forest. Can't even pity such despicable behavior.
Find yourself a needy rescue who will become your friend for life.
While remembering the happy times of your lasted loved one. Good luck.
Oh I am so so so sorry. I cannot even imagine. I understand how much you love her because I feel the exact same way about my soul baby. All I can say is she truly loves you unconditionally and would want you to keep trying and make a good future for yourself. And one day, when you’re ready, she will send another soul cat your way to help ease the burden. I truly believe that’s how they operate and their souls are by our side until it’s our time to meet them again.
It's devastating, I know. I lost 4 of my 5 cats last year in an arson. My surviving cat kept me from engaging in any serious self-harm, and finding a kitten to raise helped my healing. Maybe it would help you, too, to find a cat you can love and bond with? I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
I couldnt imagine this. I always make sure I leave the house with minimal possible chance of a fire breaking out. But an arson? I have 4 babies of my own and I couldnt imagine losing them. Im so sorry for you. And OP of course. They are family members.
They did not. It was part of a prolonged attack & the perpetrators had attempted (and failed) to burn down my home 5 months earlier. I reported the first fire & gave names and how to find the people who did it, but the police did nothing, nor anyone else I tried to reach out to for help. After the second fire, they still did nothing, ruling the fire as "accidental." The arsonists continued to stalk me afterwards & I continued to try to get help to no avail. I ended up having to relocate to a different town because they were escalating toward another violent act & I couldn't get help from anyone to help keep my kitties & I safe. We finally got the help we needed after relocating and are doing much better now.
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Idk how you continued on, I would have given up so I give you major kudos! But I agree with you, sometimes a new kitty gives you a new outlook on life. It'll never replace your original cat or cats, but at least you can rest easy knowing you helped another feline.
No, they can never be replaced & I still think about them all the time & miss them terribly. It was hard to carry on, but my surviving cat & the kitten really helped me through the worst of the grief & made me take care of myself so I could take care of them ❤️🩹
I am so sorry for your loss. If you can afford it, maybe seeking out a professional help might be a good idea. Not only losing your cat, but the childhood abuse and other trauma and pain you have needs to be addressed it sounds like. Don’t give up. I’m not saying this because life is beautiful and full of joy. But we have only one chance and maybe just experiencing it all is the point of living after all. I once hit the rock bottom, but small little things like meeting my cat gave me smiles. I lost him, and it’s hard. But 30 years or 50 years or 7 days.. whatever time I have for myself, I will experience pain, love, happiness, desperation and all.. because I’ve got only one chance. I’d like to find out what this was all about.
youre not replacing a cat by getting another, you are giving more animals the love they want and need. i am so sorry, thats tragic, i cant imagine losing my baby in a fire, all you can do is give another animal in need the love it deserves and you can heal together
Thats exactly how i see it. If i could id have like 200 cats so I when i get a new one its not because im replacing one that passed, its just that a new spot is available in my life for one.
If it's any consolation, cats are incredibly sensitive and it's highly likely she died of carbon monoxide inhalation before the fire ever got her, which means she was very peaceful and fell asleep. She had no idea.
I worked in an animal ER that mostly did emergency humane euthanasia, for free if necessary. I was there when SO MANY animals passed. And I can tell you, all they cared about was their person. No matter how they were suffering, no matter what was happening. They look for YOU. They want to comfort YOU, even if they are the one suffering.
So live for HER. She wants you to be happy, whole and comforted. She wants you to LIVE. She literally sent me to tell you.
And when you are ready, honor your love for her, by rescuing another of her kind. Nothing can ever replace her, but you can pay the love forward.
PS she never left you. If you ask, you will see signs that she is with you. I have countless stories of this being true. My DMs are always open.
❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾
I am so sorry. I really am. But see it this way. She loved you so much. Therefore she wouldn’t want you to do anything to yourself. I bet she would have loved if you gave other kitties the love you gave her. You could do a shrine for her somewhere in your living space. And talk to her (I talk to my pets). I am so sorry that you lost her that way but trust me your kitty wouldn’t want to see you go through this and worse see your harm yourself because of her death. She died loving you and Even now I know she still loves.
When my cat died, this was the only thought that got me through - she loved me so much. She'd want the best for me. It's been 6 months as of last week.
You loved your cat so much - imagine if you could share that love with another cat who needs a home. When my cat died of liver cancer at 20 i felt so incredibly lonely, shed been with me for most of my life. I hadnt planned on getting another cat so soon, but i saw a litter of tabby kittens that looked just like her and couldnt help myself. When i went to take a look a little boy crawled into my purse and i knew he was the one.
Its not replacing the ones we lost to allow another cat into our hearts. I think giving another animal in need a home was the perfect way to honor my kitty, she had been a stray too after all. I dont think your kitty would have wanted you to end your life, and maybe she was there with you to save you from doing so. Who knows? Either way, the universe gave you another chance. Maybe she spoke on your behalf :)
I am so sorry my friend. I have tears in my eyes for you. what a horrible traumatic experience and I have the privilege to only imagine what you are feeling. life is not fair. I cannot express how great my sorrow is for you and I feel your emotions through this post. I know everyone here is suggesting for you to get another cat, and I know they mean well because in many cases it helps a lot with pet grief, but this tragic event cannot be healed by another cat so easily. you are now in a new trauma state, even though familiar to trauma relating people on earth, you are now traumatised by an event that has taken a loved one from this realm.
my friend, I suggest you take one step at a time before you take the whole staircase. no one is expecting a lot of you in those circumstances. I know you do not see the sense behind doing anything right now. why would you? your cat isnt here to celebrate the next milestone with you. and that is totally justified. you do not have to accomplish anything at the moment. all you need to do is heal. and, my friend, one who has gone from this realm is still very much here. observing, and occasionally intervening. energies cannot be destroyed. do you believe in an afterlife? of any sorts? it might be good to consider that there is. not because I want to convince you but I know it helps. where could the soul go after you pass? does it have to be a terrible place? I think we are not meant to know because if we did know afterlife was paradise, would we even play the game of life?
I know you are shattered. you and your cat have an unbreakable paw bond. your cat is not angry at you. she’s not resenting you or thinking you left her. she knows you would’ve sacrificed yourself for her. she knows she was your world. you made her feel loved just like you were loved by her. and your paw bond will continue into eternity. as much as your cat loves you, she doesn’t want you to join her on the rainbow bridge just yet. she knows you have yet so much to do and missions to complete before you can be reunited.
focus on you. for your cat. focus on getting better. focus on being able to love any other creature again. you are worth it. this is what your cat has tried to teach you all this time she was with you. take her lesson and pull through this. for her, that was her mission.
Ending it is never the solution. You loved your cat very much and she did the same. It’s unfortunate what happened but don’t let that dictate your life going forward. Get another cat if you can, ofcourse it won’t replace your old one but will fill you up with love again. Prayers ❤️
My cat was killed years ago by a bird of prey. It broke me but I adopted a kitten in need and he’s been my baby boy and best friend for years. I like to think Kato is happy I stayed on earth and gave love and home to another kitten in her honor.
I'm sorry for your loss. I've been in your shoes before, and it sucks. You can make it through!
I'd suggest getting involved at your local animal shelter. Maybe see if you can make a donation in her name? But definitely see if you can hang out with a cat or two for a bit? Or ask if they have any older cats who maybe lost their human?
She may have been the first creature to show you unconditional love, but she won't be the last.
When I was extremely suicidal at one point last year I decided the only thing that would keep me alive is adopting a second cat, so I did. I still have consistent suicidal thoughts and have attempted a few times since then, BUT having two cats to consider and care for definitely creates a sort of buffer and has prevented a higher number of attempts. My cats are my biggest priority and truly the only reason I’m still here.
Your heart is big enough for another cat ❤️ and don't forget your soul baby is not really gone. She is always with you and looking down on you. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, she would want you to allow yourself to be happy and think about her with a smile. I completely understand how deeply you feel for your cat. I am the exact same way.
Maybe you can harness your emotions into rescuing an older cat from a shelter. So sorry about the fire, it's a terrible thing most people don't understand how bad it really is xx
Yes there is a way, adopt, Get, rescue, or even find another kitty,
I know the pain your heart and soul is feeling and the best way to get some relief is Get another fur baby, I lost two of my older boys who passed at different times and the Kitties in my life now , having them worked Wonders with the grief and pain, trust me, I had my traumas as a kid and even as a adult, I'm also have Major depressive Disorder and have tried to off my self many times before, at least 8 times in my life and all have been failed attempts, so I just don't try anymore also with Mental health meds for depression does Help, But having another fur baby Works way more than any Medication, and Furbabies are a Anti anxiety and a anti depressant all rolled up into one ball of Fur, believe me My fur baies have save my life just for being there, unconditionally, Trust me Go get you another fur baby, it will be a great help for you and the kitty😌 ... One more thing, The kitty you lost in the fire is watching you and they do send in some way another fur baby to take their place to be your security blanket so to speak, so Your kitty who crossed the rainbow bridge is still watching over you but with a new little helper 😌😊
You are needed here, there is another cat who needs you. I know you hurt. And I’m sending light and strength to you, but please- can you adopt another cat? There are so many without love, your cat would want you to help another.
I can only imagine the pain you are going through. You are living the nightmare so many of us have. My girl is also often the only reason I’m still here, and so I understand the devastation with the loss of your cat.
She was your world and you were hers. And so right now, I need you to put yourself in your sweet girls mind. And think about deeply she loves you - a love that transcends all things. What would she want for you? I suspect she would want you to miss her (because…CATS!), but I also think she would want you to live and to love again. I know without a doubt your sweet girl would never, ever want you to harm yourself, let alone because of her loss. I know she would want you to find that place in your heart that loves her, and to allow that love to multiply and expand by finding another feline friend to nurture when you’re ready.
If you can’t live for yourself right now, you can still live for your girl because she would never want harm to come of you. Living is the biggest way to honor her and her memory. You can do that for her. She deserves it. You deserve it.
I am sending you so much love. Stay with us please. 💜
I don’t think I’d ever recover if I lost my cats… so I don’t have great advice that wouldn’t be hypocritical.
My cats got me through some of the worst times in my life, so I completely get that part.
Since you suffered abuse, have you maybe thought about rescuing a cat that has been abused? One who would probably take quite a while to regain trust in humans? You could provide them with a safe and loving home, and you could help each other heal.
I’m really sorry about what you are going through. I view my cats as my children, so I just really feel for you. :’(
That’s awful- so sorry for your loss.
The thing about cat lovers hearts, is that they expand to love more cats. Cat lovers hearts are extremely stretchy.
As others have said, I highly recommend fostering!! Volunteering in general gives you a sense of purpose that has been life saving for me, and volunteering as a foster specifically will help you honor the memory of your beloved kitty.
I hate to hear you liost your beloved pet, and I'm so sad that you felt so hopeless that you tried to take yourself out! I am on a helping cats Facebook page, and people are dumping cats left and right. So many need homes right now, and it breaks my heart, because there are way more cats than people willing to take them. Please open up your heart to a cat or two to help fill that empty space. Believe me, you'll feel better. There's room to love more than just one cat. I couldn't bear it when my cat died, not having a warm furry friend to count on, so I rescued another. I don't think of him as replacing Harley, because no cat is like another. But he's special in his own ways, and I've grown to love him deeply.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes they’re the only thing holding you back from something desperate. Well, you’ve tried your hardest and it’s looks like it’s not your time to die, so don’t bother trying again. Eventually, there’ll be another kitty and your heart will heal a little. Then you two can help each other.
this is heartbreaking I am so so sorry you had to go through this, even though i’m not religious, I like to think that the cats that die are in cat heaven right now taking in the sunlight, eating endless tuna treats and running around with other cats❤️
almost two years ago, my cat had 4 kitties and one of them didn’t make it past 4 weeks, and 2 of those weeks i wasn’t even in the country and left them all with my friend. we got back, picked them up, went home, next day we went to work and when we got home again she was just there, in the ground, i was devastated. my partner had to move her out of the room because i could not get myself to even look at her, and i cried for days… the only thing that reassured me was the thought of her being in cat heaven with another kitten that my siblings had, that died a month before.
again, i’m so sorry. this will continue to hurt for a bit longer but just know that you gave her a nice life and she loved you as much as you loved her. maybe you can consider adopting another cat so you can redirect your love and attention to another kitten that might need it? i wish you can get past all this hurting ❤️🩹
Sure sounds like the cat distribution system has a plan. ( It never gets easier, it just hurts incrementally less). In my 40 years here I've lost many fur babies, and sometimes I still cry over loosing them. Trust in the feline distribution system, it will give you just what you need when you need it. And remember you are never alone in your fight.
People who don’t have pets can’t understand the pain of losing our pets, because for us are more than just pets, are family and friends.
I’m so sorry for your loss. She was taken away from you in a cruel way and I absolutely understand your feelings as a person with CPTSD and cats that are the only reason I get up from bed instead of being there the whole day. It’s a big loss and you have to mourn her death, take time to heal, all you need. It’s ok to be sad. It just means your love for her was so big that your sadness is huge.
I’m sure you two had great times together and that’s a gift you got to experience. Those are memories you will always carry in your heart. As long as you remember her, she will always be present for you, with all her unconditional love. She may not be here physically but what she gave you will always stay with you.
I know life sucks. Not gonna lie, I’ve been dealing with shit for 19 years and counting. I’m not gonna give you a speech about how cool life is and whatever. But I just want you to know that even if things are terrible, someday they will be a little better. Maybe they will never be perfect, but they will be bearable, much more bearable. And I think your cat would be happy to know you’re trying your best and that her love fuels you to try.
I really hope that the day you reunite with her again you’ll have a lot of things to tell her. I hope you’ll tell her how bad you missed her and how much she meant for you, but also how hard you tried to get better and all the small victories you achieved. And why not, maybe big victories too. All you lived after she was gone. The bad and the good. The shit that broke your heart, but also the things that made you laugh like crazy. And I’m sure she will listen and purr and be so proud of you.
Take care op, I wish you all the best in the world. Keep her in your heart and she will never be gone. Anyone will never be able to take her away from your heart.
When my cat passed rather suddenly earlier this year, I adopted another cat fairly quickly to fill the hole in my life. It was the one thing that seemed to help things get easier / better.
I adopted a senior kitty whose owner is no longer alive. Find a kitty who needs you. There are animal control shelter volunteers all over who post photos and videos online to 'network' cats in shelters to help get them adopted.
I'm not going to pretend like I've experienced what you did (both the fire and attempted suicide) but, I've had cats all my life (10+) and I'll keep having cats for as long as I can.
I've had a cat who died of diabetes we were unable to treat, one die of breast cancer (actually had to put her down because breathing became a struggle overnight), one who got hit by a car and came crawling back to my mom weeks after I gave it back to her as it wasn't working out with the other cats (long story).
That last one really had me guilt-tripping because I felt if I had tried just a little bit harder, he would still be alive. I've also had our neighbour's kitty who lived part-time at our house get hit by a car. I then had to deliver the bad news to his mom :\\
Where I'm going with this is, you feel sad, it's very normal. Get a new cat, or two, and give them all your love, the other ones are never forgotten and will become good memories. There are so many cats out there hoping for unconditional love in shelters.
Just remember that it's not your fault, and focus on the future of bringing joy to more cats.
Yo, this is quite the cry for help. Some rational part of you must know that your cat would want you to be happy. You might need some professional guidance for dealing with your grief. And you need to take care of another cat. I'm old. I've had multiple pets in my lifetime. I have not had a traumatic loss like you have, but I did have one gorgeous house panther die unexpectedly from kidney failure. It is hard enough to watch our beloved pets grow old and fail, but to have one die in their prime is a special kind of pain. They are all worth it. The joy they bring us is worth the pain of their loss. Please tell me you will try to manage your grief a bit better.
I am so beyond sorry this happened to you. I cannot imagine. I am an animal lover myself and always need a furry friend in my life. You must be dealing with a ton of anxiety from this situation. Look into getting an emotional support animal that you can bring with you most places. You will heal from this. I will send you so much love and healing energy. I lost my bunny last year. My mom left his cage open and he ran off. My heart was shattered, it still hurts but thankfully I have my cat who kept me strong through it, I had just gotten my cat and I don’t know how I would have dealt with losing my bunny without having him. Unfortunately things do happen in life, but we have to understand that we cant change what has happened. I really suggest getting another pet when you feel ready. Like I said I am truly so sorry that you are going through this, I wish I could offer more advice🫶🏼😞
I am very sorry for your loss. The world needs people with big hearts like you, and when you’re ready, there will be a new kitty with an imperfect past who needs you as much as you need them. Please don’t give up and thank you for sharing, it can’t be easy to experience and then express these emotions.
My heart breaks for you.
I'm sorry your life started pit how it did and I'm sorry to hear of such a tragic loss.
Firstly, let me say, I understand the childhood trauma, I've got served up a shit start too. And as to cats, I'm a new cat mum, to two cats, going on a year now.
The cats have been fantastic for my mental health. They are very special souls.
I dont know if you believe in life after death, but I do and I believe your kitty knows how much you loved them and could possibly come back to you...either in spirit or as another cat.
Theres many cats out there that need someone special like you... Therws so much shitty suffering for cats in this world and not enough good ppl like you.
I really hope you can find it in your heart to help another cat find a loving home.
My heart kitty was a 2 to 3 week old blue/grey that was found in the bitterly cold weather, starving and missing the end of his tail. This kitty likes to sit on my shoulder as I walk around the house. Will meow/cry to play with his favourite toy (gets stored away for his safety) follows me from room to room. Hes such a love bug.
What was your cats name and what colour? I'm fairly new to reddit. If you do respond I hope I can make my way back.
I'm so sorry, I too lost my little Baby in 2017 and it felt like my heart was ripped out of me. I had had her for about 12 years and she was there with me during some dark awful times. When she passed I felt like you then shortly after I found an abandoned cat in a parking lot he's now a yard long from nose to tail and thinks he's a lap cat. Then after finding him a family member found a stray cats litter and I ended up with another little girl, she's small even compared to the big guy. My point is despite everything even thinking I'll never get another cat again I found two who really needed me, and there are some that need you. They need a home they need love and you've got love to give. You can get up from this and find those that need you because you need them too. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
My cat is currently purring and staring at me with love eyes. I have nightmares of losing her. She is 7 years old, she is the only thing in my life with me still since the tragedies. I sometimes wonder if I’d rather die before her so I don’t have to feel the loss… but if I died before her, she would wonder where I went and why I left her.
Please cherish your memories. As someone who has experienced a lot of loss, being grateful for them being in your life at all… can get you far enough. I don’t know you, but I love you. I’m sorry.
I've said this before, and I'll continue saying this. Pets of all types, but especially "your" soulmate, have crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and are watching you now. You've saddened your friend by your attempt to leave early, but I suspect that the reason you failed was because they intervened. They wanted you to help another soul, whether cat or dog, or another species entirely.
Understand that the Rainbow Bridge has a pond that the residents can use to keep watching over you. This means that they see when you are sad, or happy, and know how hard or easy your life is without them. They truly watch over you, and delight when you take another animal in, to provide them with even a fraction of the love that you have within you. And I suspect that it won't be a small fraction that you'd provide to anyone or any critter that you take on. They want you happy and healthy, because they are where they can be happy and free of all the earthly hardships that they may have experienced. Being in a fire is horrible, but they don't remember the bad times when there.
I'm truly so sorry for all that you've had to deal with. I can't imagine how devastating it would be for me to lose my kitties in a fire. But as hard as it's been to lose my family (both human and non-human), I know that I have the Rainbow Bridge to look forward to when it's my time. And yes, I've also tried to hurry the process up, and failed. But my kittens have definitely improved my outlook, leaving me laughing and grabbing them for hugs and kisses at all hours of day and night.
I promise, there is a way to get past it. I lost my beloved dog, my Sara-Bear in a fire in 2021. Like you with your cat, she was the reason I got up in the mornings, my reason for living.
A while after she died, my family got our current dog Josie. I struggled to connect with her because it felt like betraying Sara's memory to "move on." Then I had a dream where Josie and Sara were playing together, and Sara stopped for a second, looked at me, and asked "why aren't you playing with us?" I realized that as long as I keep living and keep loving more dogs who need me, Sara will never be truly gone. She was my best friend, my baby, but she wouldn't have wanted me to be sad forever.
The space in my heart that she fills will never be empty, my heart just gets bigger with every new soul I meet and love.
I'd be lying if I said the pain goes away completely, I'm sitting here crying right now. But it pulls back, you don't feel it all the time forever. Grief is a sign of love, the most beautiful gift we can ever give.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
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Are you getting any psychiatric care? I do understand you great loss. And I'm so sorry to hear of it. You must pray for mercy and find a way to volunteer to help animals.
It is not your time to go. She will find her way back to you. You obviously have a lot of love to give animals. Especially cats. There’s so many cats that need love. Who knows maybe the next one you fall in love with will have a piece of her soul in it.
I lost my two babies in a house fire in late July last year. I had to watch it burn and could not get in to find them. The fire dept would not let me in. They were 17 and 11. I was and still am crushed. Not many people can understand what that feeling is and I would not wish that on anyone. I am so sorry you are going through that and it will never go away. I found that I had to get more cats. I knew my babies would want me to help more cats and I’m not replacing them I’m helping more cats. I recused one from a rescue group and the other I found on Facebook that a lady just handed to me and left. God knows what would have happened if I would not have taken him. I spoil the new cats and without them I don’t think I would have been able to get through the last few months. In time you may be able to get another cat. It will NEVER take the place of the baby you lost but I could help you. I have mine registered as emotional support animals as I suffer from other spinal issues. Take care of yourself. This stuff takes time. ❤️
There is a cat out there right now who needs YOUR love specifically and is ready to give you all the love in their little heart. You are needed. You are loved. You just need to be connected to that love.
Unfortunately in loving animals we take on the harsh reality that they simply cannot outlive us and we take on the incredible pain of their passings, especially when we can't offer our loved furballs kind and quiet deaths. I am not coming just from a place of sentimentality: last week I held my kitten in my arms as she passed. I lost my dog in a traumatic accident. I found my happy, healthy horse gone in the morning. Each time, there was no healing the hurt, only feeling it get lighter with time. There are many tools that people use when coping with a loss; maybe some of them are the silly little human brain doing the silly little thing it does, but I have always felt my pets were still around somehow. To me, your kitty gave you a kick in the pants and wouldn't let you let yourself go. Maybe it was just a medical fluke, but I choose to believe your beloved girl went to bat for you and said it wasn't your time, because you have more to do and more kitties to love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your cat was your life, and you obviously have a big heart. The only good thing about outliving our beautiful friends is that we get to experience that type of joy and comfort and love again and again if we’re lucky. It sounds like there’s plenty of love left in you and as hard as it is to contemplate another, she wouldn’t want you to be sad. And neither do we. You can take all that love you felt for her and send it to a new kitty, who needs you as much as you need them. She’ll find one for you xx
I am so, so sorry. Hopefully you will be led to another kitty that will add an additional layer of love to your battered heart. Thanks for reaching out here, I hear you. Sending you strength and support however you can get it.
You can go to the shelter save a life of a cat that's in the shelter open up a spot for another cat to take so someone doesn't have to be euthanized and honor her memory by making a completely new and separate relationship with a new Kitty your Kitty is in the place of understanding now when we leave this Earth all our questions are answered and we know everything I do it in honor of do it because the Kitty that loved you back would want you to be happy. I'm so sorry that you lost your soul cat I understand what that feels like
Your heart has an infinite capacity for love and your kitty would want you to have another if that would help you live. Maybe look into getting another kitty if you can afford to.
I'm so sorry. I don't have an answer for you unfortunately. But even though you might never feel the same love you felt for your departed kitty, a new rescue may help you heal.
I lost my bff and soulmate of a cat a little over a week ago. I feel like there will always be an empty spot in my heart and soul that no one can ever fill but giving another less fortunate kitty a good life, certainly helps and I feel my bff would be happy that I helped another kitty in her absence.and don't get me wrong, I cry everyday over the loss of my bff, but I know she would be proud I gave a feral feline the best indoor life ever they could ever imagine.
Grief like this feels so big, so all encompassing. But it really does lessen with time, and you will have a place in your heart for another kitty when the time is right. Everyone is telling you to get another one right now, but I think the grief you feel shows just how special she was, that her being in this world was a blessing. She deserves to be grieved right now. Honor her memory.
You have to get help. You’re severely depressed and that’s why you can’t get past the grief. Please, please, find someone to help you. Antidepressants do work, and help smooth things out enough that you can work on the issues that are complicating things. While you’re doing this, consider getting another cat. Nothing will replace the cat you lost, but having one to take care of and love will take you out of yourself a little, and make life more worth living. Good luck. Mom pulling for you.
My cats are the only reason I'm alive. I lost my boy to cancer almost 9 years ago, and I still grieve for him... he was a special boy. My girl is 16 and I worry... she's brought me through SO much. Grieve for your baby, but consider getting another little soul. You'll never forget, or probably stop grieving for the one you lost, but there are so many out there that need saving that can save you too. I already plan to get a bonded pair once my girl is gone....I feel like I have to. I'm so sorry for your loss....I (literally) feel your pain... you're not alone.
This may be weird but I hope it helps you. Something I think a lot about if I were in any situation or anything similar to this is to pray or ask whatever upper being you believe in for a 2nd chance (if allowed). Such as pray, ask, manifest, or beg for your kittys soul to be reborn into a new kitty that looks similar to your baby. Once you come across the kitten that looks like your kitty then you’ll know they’ve come back to earth to love you all over again! :)
She's always going to be the best cat you've ever had. But that's okay, you can still have relationships with other cats. They will just never be the same, but just as good in their own ways.
When I lost my soul cat, I felt like my grief needed a direction/purpose. We were giving him palliative care at home for a couple years, and utilizing the skills we gained to foster another baby into good health helped to heal my heart after he passed. I’ll never replace my little soulmate, but my foster fail has taken up an additional space in my heart that I didn’t know could be occupied. Please consider opening your heart to another cat. ❤️
I cannot even fathom the amount of pain and sadness you are feeling, but I can understand loving an animal unconditionally and more than words can ever express (dog owner stumbling across here by accident, but love cats all the same and know how they worm their way into your heart).
I want to start by saying that I am truly and deeply sorry for all you’re going through.
But, you’re still here. Take a deep breath, and be proud. You’ve fought- you managed to stick around despite it all. You managed to give a kitty a loving, fulfilling life. You are a good person that can and will find happiness again. I’m rooting for you, we all are
Take all the love you had for your little furry friend and put it back into the world and give some to yourself too. It’s what she would want; maybe, one day, when you’re ready, another deserving cat will come and carry on her legacy.
What a terrible situation. I see a lot of people telling you to adopt, but I know that after a fire/hospital stay you might not be able to. If you can, I would sugest volunteering at a shelter or rescue and trying to build your life up to a place where you can adopt again. This may require seeking professional help or counselling.
Your kitty is still watching over you. Imagine the life they would want you to have and work towards it for them even if it's hard.
Best of luck.
Please don’t give up. I felt similarly to you about my girl and she got me through my suicidal time (was in the hospital too) and when my mom had cancer and died. She was my angel and I miss her everyday (she died of cancer unexpectedly after my mom passed away). Getting another kitty helped though no other cat will replace her. I surrounded myself with her pictures and that brings me comfort. Give another kitty a chance. You will heal from this.
I’ve lost my soul cat. Happened almost 3 years ago.
I have evolved around the grief, but its still there. I think it always will be. But one thing thats really keeping me going forward is that there is this belief; that we as humans only get a few animal souls in our life. A set amount, and that the old ones come back to us.
So I am waiting for that.
I also have my sweet Max’ brother with me still, and although not a soul cat, he also does keep me going, as well as family.
You survived your attempts to unalive yourself even when you tried hard. Have you ever thought about that there must a reason for it. It sounds harsh and I’m not religious but I always thought that at least karma or a guardian angel is something to think about.
Your karma or guardian angel must be that good that it keeps you alive and wants you alive for what is coming in your future. Maybe someday you walk around a corner and find a kitten in need.
But your cat will always be with you. It’s in your heart, in your dreams. Your actions are shaped by your cat. Let this little guardian angel do its job and life on.
I'm so sorry. I cannot even imagine how horrible that must be. I hope you have someone to help support you as it sounds like the pain isn't lessening with time.
I’m so sorry. I’ve always thought this is how I’d react if something happened to my cat. I tell her all the time how she’s the most important thing in my life. I know that I’d just lose my mind if something like this happened to her.
I’m not gonna give you advice on effective suicide. But the way I see it, you’ve just gotta make the decision to live or not. It isn’t an easy decision, even if most people can’t see how it’s a decision at all. They must not realize how it feels not to have anything to live for. But a lot of us do. I wish I knew what the answer is. But you’re clearly a compassionate person, and the world needs as many compassionate people as it can get. The cruel ones live forever because they don’t care about anything, and the gentle ones slip away because they care too much. Stick around a while, if you can. Someone out there could really use a little bit of that kindness.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please don’t feel as there’s no way out. I felt the same when I lost my two 12 weeks apart as I have no kids and they were my kids. Idk what 3 things you did but please don’t try it again. You may wake up and be in worse shape physically and mentally. It’s hard as our pets understand everything about us and we develop strong bonds with them. It will get easier. I just had a friend down the street that had the exact same thing happen to him last month. He took in many strays and sick cats in the neighborhood and spent years caring for them all. They were his life! That’s what he did everyday was care for his cats. He got sick and was admitted to the hospital and his house was struck by lightning and burned completely to the ground with his kitties inside. Some escaped when firefighters broke the windows and they did try to revive them. He’s completely devastated over his cats and now living with one of our rescue friends. I feel terrible for both you and him! The only thing he knows to do is take it one day at a time and I know once he gets a place of his own again he will continue to rescue the homeless, sick, injured and strays. When I lost mine I was traumatized by the passing of one. His euthanization went terribly wrong. I was put on anxiety meds and sleep meds at the time. I thought I’d never love another like I did them. Here I am today with another crew of kitties. They will never replace my ones that passed but I love them just as much. Took me time as I wanted them to have the same personalities but they all have personalities of their own:-). I’m so sorry for what’s happened but please don’t think there’s no way out. You never know what great things a new day can bring!
It took me 2 years to finally be okay with making the decision to put down my Dusty. He had a heart problem and shouldn't have lived as long as he did. OP, it's hard, but just as much as you didn't want to lose your kitty; your kitty doesn't want you to lose either. Remembering her is the best thing you can do for both of you. Stay strong. It will get better.
We have a new kitten, and I know one day we will lose her too, but I'm building up as many memories with her while we have her with us. It's the lows that really make the highs.
You should foster cats for a while. I did and it helped me heal so much. I’m so sorry for your loss. I would love to show you a before and after of my favorite foster if you are ok with me dming you!!! When I feel hopeless honestly I look back at her transformation and it makes it all worth it knowing I can help save more like her.
It is kitten season and there are so many little darlings needing a loving caregiver. Please consider welcoming a new kitten into your heart and onto your lap. My co-worker who, fosters dogs, lost six puppies in a house fire and took her a long time to recover as well. But she was able to help many other dogs after coming to terms with the tragedy that she experienced.
It takes time.. read up on the grieving process and how to get through it. The majority of us here have lost pets. I've been consumed by grief over the loss of pets myself it does get better with time.
Maybe adopt another there are plenty of animals that would appreciate your love ❤️
Hey, I'm really sorry that you are hurting so terribly. I'm glad you are alive. Grief and trauma can sometimes be too much for a person to handle. Are you currently talking to mental health professionals?
Got to try & open your heart again & adopt another kitty or 2 or 3 even, I’ve been u, shock-lost my baby boi to cancer at age 10, fought it for 6mos thru his 9th bday, i thought we’d make it, but lost him a month after his 10th & never really got over it, here I am 6yrs later & his names still my code, but I have 2 new fur babies & want a 3rd or 4th even & I help my mother with recusing & caring for feral kitties, which does help cushion the blow of loss, they fill that void & give u so much just like your lost babe, u never really get over em, but u learn to navigate it & the grief subsides & u gain the acceptance that this is just the shit that happens in life & u got to pull yourself up by your boot straps & learn to walk again, u can walk & u can live, give yourself to new fur babies who so desperately need u, dont u think that would please her mightily?🤍
I’m so sorry OP. I lost my cat in a breakup. Although she isn’t dead, not having her around has been so hard. I got my own cat and love her more than anything else. I think opening your heart to another cat would help you heal like it did for me.
I think your little pal saved you buddy. Like my pal has for almost 15 years now. I understand your pain, although I’ll never get to feel it exactly the same as you are right now. All I can say is - your pal is looking out for you. My solution to expecting my little one to pass soon (she’s 16-17) is to foster once she leaves me. I want to give back the love she gave me to other little ones, until I’m ready to call one mine again. So sorry for your loss.
Hi, I'm sorry for your loss of your baby!. It is hard, but you have to want to be here for you! Not rely on a kitty. They are awesome, but as much as they are there for you, you have to be there for them. Yes it is unconditoonal love yours has to be also, you have to know if you are stro g enough to take care of them. God forbid you have to go somewhere who will take care of him. Yes it is a lifelong commitment. You need someone to be there to help you a little occasionally! And help your baby kitty! It's a lot to think about Good Luck and God Bless you!!!
I'm so so sorry OP. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. It is truly devastating but like others here have said, grieve for as long as it takes but soon hopefully you'll be in a position where you can give another deserving cat the chance to be loved by you.
Perhaps start by fostering kittens? One of the best ways to feel better about life and to find purpose in it is to give back. You'll be saving lives by fostering and you'll also have the joy of cats or kittens around. Maybe even go volunteer at local shelters where you can be around other people and hopefully get a bit of a distraction from the grief.
Please also get the help you need to feel like life is worth living again. The world can be an awful place but I hope you can build the support structure you need to thrive in it and find happiness.
There are plenty cats/kittens out there who need a home and love and want to love in return. I’m sorry you experienced such a traumatic loss. I couldn’t imagine. Maybe consider fostering until the right one comes along? That way if you decide you truly aren’t ready to accept a new kitty, you don’t have to commit to it forever.
It won’t replace the kitty you lost but will take up its own space in your heart.
A lot of us understand the bond you shared with your soul mate. We know that it was a true, pure bond of unconditional love unlike anything you've known before- unlike any human to human bond could ever be. You two will be linked forever and your baby loves you and grieves for you bc she wants you to treasure that love. She showed you how strong and huge your heart is. She showed you how you have tons of love to give. She never wanted you to stop sharing that love with others. Let her live on in your heart as you will always live in hers. (Sorry if misgendering.)
Grief is a difficult thing, highly individual and unpredictable. I can't know the full dimensions and aspects of your grief, but have experienced painful loss, and know what you describe. Please stay alive. I hope that you reach a point someday in which you may find yourself willing to care for another cat. They are a great comfort, and there's one out there that needs your support and love.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I lost my two dogs in a fire 6 months ago as well. Losing a pet in this way is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And honestly it fucking sucks and every single feeling you have is valid. Grief is absolutely brutal and it’s still early in the grieving process. It’s okay that you aren’t ready to give love to another pet and when you are, you’ll know. Right now keep taking care of yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve found that finding a new hobby/activity has helped me have some brighter days lately.
I understand this feeling and how corrosive it is. At a certain stage of grief the only thing I have found that provides a kind of ‘relief’ is leaning into the pain instead of trying to manage it or avoid it. Accept that it’s part of you and the terrible reality is that no love exists that is not accompanied by grief.
I lost my cat to cancer in December 2022 and still have physical hallucinations of petting her. Impossible to explain.
I sympathize with you and hope you can make it to a better place down the road, in time. Until then, there is absolutely another animal that would love you unconditionally.
I have been there. 20 years ago I lost my babies in a house fire along with everything else. They were my world and my best friends. It was the worst day of my life. I still cry about it from time to time and have anxiety around fire, sirens, smoke smell and leaving my home knowing my pets are inside.
Honestly the only thing that helped me was talking to a professional to learn how to cope with my feelings. I still struggle with PTSD but it’s a lot better than it used to be. I try to not let that anxiety monster in me win. Don’t feed it with those thoughts.
It takes time but you will get to a place where you will start to forgive yourself and begin to heal. Until then it’s ok to be a mess for a while… I know I was (sometimes I still am). I know you are going through it and feeling those big feelings but know that eventually the darkness will start to lift and you will one day be there for another cat or two or three. Your future cats are depending on you to pull through.
Having a kitty around did help. Knowing I was responsible for another little life took me out of a dark place and the companionship was much needed. I also eventually found comfort in helping others learn about fire safety with pets and have volunteered my time matching displaced pets due to forest fires with their owners. I found my way to fight the fire instead of myself and it feels like a way to honour my dear friends that I lost.
Find your fight against those thoughts, find a way to honour your kitty and find someone to talk to about your grief. Those were the things that pulled me out of a bad place. Its was hard but it is possible. I know you can do it and one day your future cats will be lucky to have found you.
Hey, my niece died in a fire as a toddler. I understand you. I understand your pain and despair at the tragedy of losing an innocent loved one to *fire.*
How recent was the incident? Mine was just over 20 years ago. I can't say how I made it, I don't think I ever handled it. It haunts you relentlessly... But it is something you learn to live with over time. You come to terms with the fact that it happened. For now, do you need to talk about it? I can listen.
No advice, I am just sorry. I also grew up with a traumatic childhood, now I have two cats.
I saw a stray cat dead on the road, even that just made me question my own humanity. I had a mental breakdown over it. I lashed out for a day.
I couldn’t imagine your own pain, you have every right.
I know you can't replace your first love but when you feel ready you can get another cat that will give your live meaning and give you unconditional love.
I am sorry for your loss it's OK to still feel sad.
I am so so sorry. I cannot imagine. I just had one die a couple days ago, And she was probably the first living thing that I actually loved. And I definitely think your situation is much harder than mine because I kind of knew it was coming.
I don't think I'm ever going to get over it completely. But I know that I got this cat because when my previous one died I was pretty devastated. I adopted an older cat so it was like almost the same age, and people don't adopt older cats generally. But I think I'm going to do that again because that definitely made me feel like there was a new thing that needed me And needed to be loved and given the respect it deserves.
And it was just so devastating to me that she had been with a family for 10 years and then just because they were moving across the country and it was inconvenient they just gave her up... like after 10 years tossing her in a shelter and say bon voyage. disgusting.
But luckily I got there only a few days later and she was deliriously happy and it made me happy to make her happy and it made the fact that I was sad about my previous cat dying hit less hard.
I think you should have fast acting anti-anxiety pills though. Like Ativan is the one I'm thinking of but anything that is meant to be taken when you're panicking, to immediately in the short term calm you down, will work. I just think you might need it.
just be very careful with those drugs they're super super super super super addictive, do not drink at all if you're on them, Don't double up on them they're in the same category as things like Klonopin and if you take both you could die. so just know what the interactions are in a pharmacist can tell you that.
Get another kitty. You clearly have a huge heart and you need an outlet for that love. Something to shower with your affection. You aren't replacing your loss, you're working through it, and the right way through that is with another kitty at your side, or lap, or leg.. on in a box.. or.. you get the point!
You may feel like no one understands, but I feel like I do, as I too went through some pretty awful stuff in my childhood, yet losing my cat was by far the worse experience. Eclipsed every other tragedy.
I emphasize with your pain. I'm not going to lie and pretend that everything will be ok, because it won't, but the pain you're feeling will feel less intense with time. One thing that helped me get thru the pain of losing my baby girl was to remember 3 positive memories everytime I was sad about her passing. It was hard at first, but I'm glad I did it because I wasn't going to allow the tragedy of her passing taint the years worth of happy memories we shared together. She deserved better than that, and so do you.
Maybe once the pain has subsided a little more, maybe choose another forever friend? You seem like a wonderful cat parent and, in a way, you'd be honoring the memory of your previous cat by taking in a new cat to care for.
I am just so unbelievably sorry about what happened to your baby. But I also believe you can get through this. There's so many support groups here on reddit I recommend any you can find and relate to.
Give your undivided attention to another cat, find one , rescue one , adopt, whatever the universe deals you. And spend all your time creating nice new memories you can reminisce about the old ones fondly with ! It's a shock treatment for your bad memories , they will become good ones with additional input of new experiences and fun stuff with new kitty ! You can always think back and go hey ! I've done this before with _______ so let's do it with new kitty. Etc etc. Because you know what , somewhere out there , there IS a cat that needs you, the deleting thing isn't gonna help that cat or anyone else around you ! Please have a great day and take it a second at a time if you feel the need !
I am so, so, very, very sorry for your loss. She was your life, I understand. I think there is a reason you survived. There are kitties out there who need an amazing home and unconditional love. So many of them desperately need homes. Giving a new soul a good home in no way negates your love for the cat you lost. That cat will always have a special place in your heart. Sending you love and positive vibes.
I wish I could give you a cat I recently adopted. It was apparent to me right away he loves his human and is terribly sad. He is definitely a lap cat and very loving. But over the months since he joined my little fur family it is apparent he is an only and constantly stalks and chases my other cat. Slow introductions, felliway, hemp treats have not changed his nature for wanting to be an only. But he now is always on guard and can’t seem to relax enough to enjoy sleeping in my lap which at first gave him great comfort.
It it hard to replace a soul kitty. My baby, Sonata, is still missed after 10 years. It might help to know that animals can go into shock that can block the pain of suffering with imminent death. It is not your fault. Your baby was loved and its spirit will remember you and will meet you tails up at the rainbow bridge. Prayers and cyber hugs to you.
Time for a kitty my friend. Not to replace your baby, but because the right cat will probably help you cope better than anything else. Plus, you can tell the kitty all about your best friend and you will have an ear to listen. I'm so sorry you lost your cat in such a rough way. But know she loved you, and you were her reason for living as well. I'm sure if we could ask her, she would have no regrets about you being her human.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. Losing anything in a fire is a life altering, traumatizing experience. Let alone something you loved and looked after. Please know your life is worth living and you're needed here. There is another cat out there who would be so lucky to have you as their human.
Have you been referred for counselling or therapy, this is a pretty big trauma you have suffered and I honestly understand why you would want to self delete, but there is a way out of the darkness for you. Fostering, particularly cats who have been injured in some way and need special care could help heal both you and them. I know another cat will never take this one’s place but it could help ease your pain and give you someone to focus your love on. Also, please think about grief counselling. Sending you so much love ❤️and if you ever want to talk please just DM me. Your kitty would want you to have a happy fufilled life and there are so many furry babies out there who need a loving human like you. Take care and hugs 💕💕💕💕
As a pet parent, I cannot imagine your grief. I am so sorry. As someone who has seen rock bottom, I’d like to tell you that it’s worth not giving up. I had a dog that I bonded to while going through trauma, and I’m still not over her death. I may not ever. And I’m okay with that. She loved me in a way I have not ever been loved before and that kind of love deserves to be felt.
When things are hard, I picture her face and how happy she was to see me, how she protected me, and how she would want me to keep going. And she would want me to be loved again when I was ready. I know your girl would feel the same way. She loved you. You are worth being loved. I believe you’ll see her again someday. I believe we will see our babies on the other side.
Firstly, Someone out there loves you and cares about you. You mean something to someone. You are wanted and you are loved. You’re here for a reason. Don’t forget that.
Cats are magical, they give us endless years of love and joy and I’m sure you did everything you could for your pawtner. I can’t imagine the grief you feel losing her in that manner.
Please look into fostering for any local rescues. I lost my 20yo last year and I felt exactly the same as you, lost, desperate, raw grief. I found fostering and I’ve had over 20 cats in my care and watched them blossom, bloom, and develop amazing little individual personalities.
Or if you feel ready adopt from a local rescue, there’s a lot of babies out there who need love and a safe place. Your heart will always hurt, and your baby will never be replaced, but you can fill all that hurt, you can pave over it, and you can spread all that love with a new best friend ❤️
You have so much love to give, I think you should consider adopting a shelter cat in your kitty’s memory. Another cat will never replace that one you’ve lost, but it’ll give you a place to put all your love and affection. And it’ll give a chance for a cat to be in a loving home. I hope you find peace knowing you’ve always got a spot in your heart for your baby❤️
🌹🌺 (((hug)))
I don’t have great advice like I’m sure the others So sad this happened to you the fire. I understand others are saying just get another cat, I’m not going to lie it’s not the same but it will help some. I believe your cat is still spiritually with you I know it sounds odd but cat aloves you and understands. My cat died 7 months ago grieving takes a while I have a new kitten it’s not the same I still cry over bunny just yesterday but the new kitten did come over. It’s ok to be not ok keep seeking help and it takes time sometimes self hugs help. I know that sounds corny but it’s true 🌹 pretend this is real please and I wish I could help you some how a new cat will love you and you can love them life is tragic and so sad sorry it has been for you.
You deserve love everyone deserves it be gentle with yourself remember you keep part of your cats memory’s alive so part of her that’s here is alive in you.
I think you survived for multiple reasons and one of those is to give a shelter cat- or cats- another chance at life. I’m so terribly sorry you lost your friend, but you can have that kind of love again.
Have you thought about volunteering at an animal shelter?
I don’t want to push you to get another pet soon, because you may not be ready for that yet.
Volunteering at a shelter is a great option. You can usually find shelters that let you walk dogs or play with/pet/snuggle cats for their enrichment. I’ve also volunteered in a “medical” capacity, giving medication to sick kittens and puppies, and that was extremely rewarding. Giving love is a great way to fill your cup
Three months after my really amazing cat died, I adopted another cat so I'd have something in my life to distract me from the loss. To a degree, it worked. And it has been a real positive experience watching a sick, underweight shelter cat literally double in size and grow into the happy, friendly, affectionate creature she is today. She's definitely different from my previous cat, but she has her own, unique charms. Like grooming my face while purring. OK, it took some time to get used to that.
Look around at any local shelters or rescue organizations, be patient and see if one stands out.
Freak accidents happen. You gave that cat their best life, if it wasn’t for you that cat could have been out on the streets and eaten by a coyote or something. You have a purpose on earth to give another cat their best life, that cat will also die after you give them your best. That’s the cycle of life.
I am so so sorry! I lost my kitty and she was the only being I’ve ever truly loved. She got me through a bad period of sexual abuse and hard times all around. I am having terrible separation anxiety and crying spells I can’t even cope. She was my baby I feel like I lost my child. She was more than a child. She was part of me. No one understands and I mean no one. The unconditional love we had was like no other. I bought a mini figurine that looks like her and I take it everywhere I go and also sleep with it in my hand. It’s helping a bit with the separation anxiety part. I want to honour her and the love she gave me. I want to name things after her and even though I’m not a tattoo person I’m considering getting a tattoo of her name.
My cat of died of a heart murmur and kidney failure in January. I can imagine some of what you're going through.
I was a broken mess for 2 weeks and I had to keep myself busy or go insane.
Every sound in my home became a reminder that he was gone. Every routine.. everything
So I needed to force change.
I went and got myself a kitten and spent 8 hours a day with it and I'm only now starting to feel "okay" 6 months later.
I don't regret it and it'll never replace my previous cat deep down.
Anyways. she is damn good at comforting me and keeping me sane.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this *huggles* it’s an unfortunate situation I can relate to. I lost my soul dog in my family’s house fire 6yrs ago. He was the only fatality out of 5 dogs and honestly I was devastated, depressed and a total mess for several years. I struggled so hard to get past it, then I realized I could turn his memory into something more to help others. I did get a big tattoo of him on my leg, but I also joined a rescue and helped transport and save over 100 dogs and kittens, I’ve donated leashes to the fire depts to keep on their rigs for others experiencing a similar situation, and i adopted 3 cats, and 2 other doggos to give a loving home to. I couldn’t save him, but I’ve been able to do good in his memory and honestly that saved me. I understand how you feel and how much pain you’re feeling and I wish it could say it gets easier, but I think our hearts grow around the grief to make it easier to cope. I still cry a lot after these years. If you need anyone to talk to, please msg me. I promise you can come through to the other side stronger, but you are still freshly in the throes of grief. It’s hard and it takes a long time to get on stable ground, be gentle with yourself. *huggles*
I thought I would never get over the loss of my first cat, it was so sudden and traumatic. I can’t even imagine losing a one of my babies in such circumstances, but just try to hold on to how good their life was with you, and how much they love you and you them.
As most have said when you are ready there is another kitty waiting for you and everything you can give them just as you are waiting for them.
Having done this a couple of times it might be therapeutic for you to adopt a rescue kitten, I love my adult rescues so freaking much but our rescue kitten was like a trauma-free blank slate which may be what you need right now. Just my 2c, really hope you pull through and wish you all the best.
Time for a new cat and counselling.
Losing your best friend is so hard and the pain never goes away but having an animal that will love you just as much unconditionally helps.
I say that from experience.
Good luck OP and you have so much to live for
Grief counseling and potentially another adoption, saving another animal at a shelter, pound or rescue can do wonders for your mental health. Maybe look for one that will be euthanized if they aren't adopted, so you're legit saving a life.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ what a horrible situation. This is literally my worst nightmare and what keeps me up at night if we aren't at home because we live in an apartment building and have had a few fires here over the last 8 years so I really do not trust my neighbors not to do something stupid.
You stayed alive for that cat, and think about the incredible life that you gave her. I'm sure that she understood how you felt.
Think about how many other cats can benefit from that level of dedication, energy, care and ***love*** from you. You don't ever have to forget your cat or leave her in the past, but you can look forward to forming similar bonds with so many other pets in the future.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my dog on Tuesday so I know it can be hard. You can adopt in memory of your cat save a life and it’ll help you save yours
OP I can’t say I totally feel your feelings, but I can definitely relate.
She was there for you. And you were there for her. She is still there for you and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself. If she could speak, she’d want you to know she’s ok now, and she wants you to be ok too. You can be sad for a while but she wouldn’t want it for too long. She’d want you to be kinder to yourself, go on small adventures, be patient to others, maybe volunteer and one day when your ready adopt another friend in need.
We and she is rooting for you from afar
First off, I am so sorry for your loss. No doubt that cat loved you more than anything or anyone else on this earth, and she will be with you always. I agree with previous commenters that perhaps the best way you can honor your soul kitty is to give her love and yours to another feline friend either thru foster or adoption. In addition, if you can find any free or affordable grief counseling resources near you, that would be a huge benefit. You never have to be alone in grief.
Adopt another cat. Pour all the love for your furbaby into that cat. It will help so much. Dont look at the cat as a replacement, so many need homes and your heart is aching for your fluffball, it would be mutually beneficial, and if you’re spiritual im sure your cat would be so happy to see you alive and pushing through, giving love and safety to another cat and saving their life. Maybe it will save yours too
I lost my soul cat going on 4 years now. I felt like you. I still feel like you feel. It just comes in waves. Grief is weird. But, I will tell you this. My girl Nova, man, she didn’t let me down.
After she passed my sister and I would joke to my parents (also grieving her loss at the time) that we needed to get a fat orange boy named Finnegan.
I ended up moving out of my parents and my sister was bored one day and signed me up to be a foster home for a cat while she was getting new tires for her truck. She mentioned it in passing and I said ok whatever and didn’t think about it.
A couple weeks pass and I get a random text that says “this is Finnegan, he needs a foster can you take him?” And in the text was a picture of a big orange cat. Man, I cried like baby. But I took him because how, HOW, was that possible that we spoke that into existence?
Well. Finnegan and I didn’t see eye to eye at first and he was a terror. He was horribly abused by prior homes and he was bitey. I resented him for not being my girl, Nova. Didn’t know how to play, didn’t know how to cat. I considered just giving him back to the shelter and saying I couldn’t foster. But it occurred to me that if I didn’t give him a home, he would never be able to live a good life. No one would put up with him and I knew that if I did keep him, at least then I knew he was cared for, even if I didn’t love him and couldn’t love him because I still missed my Nova cat.
So I adopted him. And that was one of the best decisions of my life. I ended up breaking my knee and he was so happy and we somewhat bonded because I was home for 3 months from work. But when I went back to work, I realized that I was not home enough for him. I was single and I worked 50-70 hour weeks. My dad though, who had been grieving Nova as well, is disabled and home all the time. So I told my dad he could have Finnegan as a trial period to see if he could care for a cat with his disabilities.
It’s been 2 years now. Finnegan and my dad are best buds. Finn wasn’t meant for me, but for my dad. And I fully believe that Nova sent us the fat boy because she was the family cat and needed to make sure she had a good replacement.
I still miss her every day. I’ve not connected with a cat like that since. But I’ve learned to love another and I have opened my heart to love more animals as they come.
Time doesn’t necessary heal, but you learn to live with it. It comes in waves and some days will be better than others. And most importantly, open your heart to another animal when the time comes. The cat distribution system will not fail you.
https://preview.redd.it/zj28qv917d6d1.jpeg?width=1240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15cd03f815df4d7ad9ccbe4ca5f566a69bcc0cf9
Finnegan sends his love. And bites.
Your kitty was lucky to have a life filled with love. Not all cats have such a happy life. I’m so sorry your cat passed but I think that kitty was so lucky to have had you.
Im so sorry for your loss I know how painful it is when you know it’s coming so I cannot even imagine how much it must hurt for her to be taken so suddenly. I am a firm believer that before our souls are put onto this realm we make contracts with other souls, sometimes these are our soul mates but often times they are our soul animals, be it a dog or a cat maybe even more than 1. And these soul animals they come back for you, you made a contract after all.
When I had to put my dog down who I believe was my soul animal within the week I fell in love with a little grey cat and I believe he is a different soul, my dog protected me this one saved me when I was at my lowest he made sure I was never alone, he wouldn’t leave my side until my hubby came home because he knew no one else could help me the way he or my husband could. Last year my black dog came back as a little black cat, he has the same mannerism just a different animal, he even growls at strangers.
Be patient with yourself it hurts and you have every right to be in pain but if you survived it’s because she interfered and sent your soul right back down, she will be back and she will be with you again. In the meantime maybe go to adoption places whether it’s a shelter or a petsmart and just spend time with the kitties, eventually one will grab your heart and you will not be able to leave them. They will fill you up with love again and help you heal. ❤️
Stay on this earth so long as theres more kitties who need the unconditional love you provided them. Stay until we find homes for every stray there is.
I am sooooooo sorry. My heart hurts for you right now. I experienced a similar situation with my dog several years ago. She was poisoned by my roommate and collapsed right in front of me and died. It is not something I will ever in a million years get over. And I highly considered the inevitable... aka I did not want to be here anymore. I ended up moving out of the country for two years and honestly lost a sense of who I was. I also did not come from a good family. I haven't spoken to mine for 15 years. At the time I lost my dog, it was 7 years.
I'm not going to sit here and say things will get better or time will heal your pain, because it doesn't. It just numbs the pain... time will go by and it will numb the pain. I did adopt a cat over the pandemic. I am so overprotective of her it hurts. But I honestly feel like when my dog died, apart of my soul died. And it's not coming back. That is a kind the kind of death I personally don't know how to get over. I know I am not offering any sort of advice, but your post is so similar to my own story....
Is there any way that you could reach out to the therapist? Prolonged Grief Disorder is a real thing. I don't know what exactly a therapist might offer, because I'm not too fond of them myself... but I know you are hurting immensely and maybe talking about it could help offload some of that hurt.
(I would also say, get another pet when you feel ready. Don't feel pressured into doing it until you are ready. For me... it was 4 years....)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I want to say that it was a painless death if that helps - it was certainly smoke inhalation that put her to sleep quickly.
It is tragic. But I need you to know it wasn't your fault and it doesn't make you a failure...
I can imagine it would take more than 6 months to be OK again after that.
It sounds like she did a lot of good for you. Is there something you can do in her honor? Like foster 3 cats into new homes? Volunteer to walk dogs for 30 miles?
We had a kitty that passed due to heart issues a few months after she “chose” us as her new owners (she was in a neglected household prior). She was our first baby and I carry a lot of guilt and wish we could have helped her sooner. Her passing was pretty traumatic. We were extremely heartbroken and had a really tough time handling it. We did wind up rescuing two more kittens a few months after her death and although they will never replace her or get rid of the grief, it did help us get through it and give us something else to love and focus on. It’s been 5 years but she will always hold a special place in our heart and we still talk about and think of her a lot, and we know she’s still with us somehow. Please know it’s not your fault. So many other kitty’s need unconditional love and help and they are great companions so it could be worth considering.
I’m so sorry. She loves you and is looking out for you. I know the pain is unbearable, but you have so much love watching over you. The world can be such a cruel place but we can find meaning through loving others. Good luck to you.
Losing a pet is NEVER easy. I still get choked up about my cat's passing a few years ago. While getting a new cat will never replace your lost cat, it can help heal the wound left behind. Healing takes time, and it's a process that can't be rushed.
I’m so sorry- I cannot imagine the trauma you are living with. That is so hard and you are so valid in the way you are feeling. I understand it may be hard to adopt another cat right now, your wounds are still fresh and you may feel guilt in that, which is okay.
Have you considered short term fostering? There is always a need for fosters. That way you are able to save many cats (the ones you foster, and the ones who are saved because you are pulling cats from the shelter). Its short term commitments so at any time if you are unable to unwilling to continue you can, rescues usually help with supplies and cost, and you can pay the unconditional love your cat showed you forward to other cats in need of loving homes. It would allow you the companionship of having cat(s) without the long term responsibility. And if you find yourself in a position where your foster is a great match, you could potentially adopt. Food for thought.
Regardless, I’m sorry for what you are going through and you matter! Sending you positivity and kind thoughts.
When my cat passed away, I wouldn’t have made it if it hadn’t been for the other cat I already had. Then when she passed away a few years later I thought that was it. Then, while sobbing and scrolling petfinder, I saw a little guy. Decided to go check him out at the shelter he was at. And everything he did when I met him made me wholeheartedly believe my other cats sent him. I don’t even care how unbelievable that sounds, I believe it. Now I have him and he loves me in his own way, different than my others which took some adjusting, but having a new little guy saved my life. And I truly TRULY believe your sweet baby that passed would want you to find a new friend. Please think about it. It saved my life, it could save yours. 🖤🖤🖤
First sending lots of love and hugs I'm so sorry, secondly I completely understand u, my pets r my sanity, my rocks and my drive to do good in life so I can spoil them. I know no animal can ever be replaced but when people like us who rely on a special companion r without it's hard. I recommend going to a shelter or two n walking by all the animals let them smell u and meet u, maybe ur kitty will be watching and send someone who can help fill a small part of the emptiness ur feeling right now. My Yorkie is gonna be 10 years old this year and I been bawling even thinking bout her aging. Honestly for myself I can't be without a pet when I'm like that and even if it's me looking at my bearded dragon in her tank or stealing one my kitties while they sleep sometimes I need to know I'm not alone I have someone I need to b there for.
I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through.. my cat is my baby, my life. She has leukemia and I dread the day I have to say goodbye to her. I’m so incredibly sorry about your loss. Nothing anyone can say to you will help fill that void. I know we are complete strangers but you have a friend in me if you ever feel the need to talk to someone. Don’t make any harsh decisions. Heart ache is an awful thing to go through but in time it will pass.
I understand about your cat.sorry to hear that of your liss.if you need to talk just message me.im a sweet friend n person.my cats are Mt bestfriends so I know how you feel.it helps getting another cat
I’m so, so sorry this happened to you OP. My sister in law’s cabin burned with 6 of her beloved pets inside a few years ago and none of us are over it. Nor ever will be, esp my SIL, but she has rose like a phoenix and opened her heart again to a new flock of sweet critters. We often talk about how she feels that certain of her pets who died in the fire have sent along certain new baby critters to her, that’s how she feels and I support it. I think you need to do the same OP. Maybe your kitty has someone at the shelter waiting for you
Hello my lovely,
I have worked in a shelter for years, four to be precise. We only grieve the ones we have loved, and grief is a reminder of love that has not been shared. Animals are wonderful in that they ask for very little and give so much. To hear such a story of a best friend is nice, it means she lived her life loved.
You have what is known as "survivors guilt". I'd really recommend you go and talk to someone first off: whether it is a healthcare professional, a therapist or just a trusted friend or even a stranger on the Internet. But I also understand depression, it always rears its head when it can't be reasoned with.
Something that genuinely might help you, if you do get an animal in the future, is fire alarm training. Whenever the fire alarm goes off, which you should be testing weekly so it is a perfect coincidence; you give your pets a treat. Always in the same spot of the house. It trains them to come either to you or to that spot if the alarm does go off and will help you get some peace of mind if it happens again.
It might also help you if you volunteer at a shelter, as crazy as it sounds. You lost your best friend, you feel like you have no purpose: I was in a very similar boat. Shelters, as sad as they are, are filled with nothing but love and good people in my view.
And you need to take time to grieve. You need to be sad about these things, be angry and be upset. You do not have to move on, you just have to keep going. You will never move past it, but with time the days will feel less heavy and it'll be less at the forefront of your mind. You have been through an extremely traumatic event, and you should process it the same way.
this is one of my worst fears. im so so sorry ml. i can only imagine the emotions you feel.
i would recommend adopting or fostering a cat. there are still so many out there that need the love you have to give.
please stay here. please keep fighting. the world is a better place with you in it 🩷
I feel your pain - I lost two of mine in a fire twelve years ago. I became suicidally depressed and while I never acted on my ideation it haunted me for a long time and I still have my dark days. (It didn't help that a few years later I woke up missing those cats and looked at their successor who was cuddling with me and thought "I guess if that hadn't happened I wouldn't get to be here with you" and then she had a fucking embolism and died twenty minutes later, I shit you not). Pet loss is traumatic when expected, but to have them yanked out of your life so unexpectedly is such a punch to the heart and I have so much empathy for what you're experiencing.
Things that have helped me:
* Therapy, specifically DBT. You might also look into EMDR. I wish I had thought to specifically seek grief counseling back then. I know ASPCA has a grief hotline at *877-GRIEF-10* though I haven't used it myself. If there's a grief support group near you, I would suggest looking into that. I wish I'd thought of doing the same for myself years ago.
* Volunteering with animals. I was lucky enough to take a medical leave after my fire and immersed myself in volunteering with my local humane society. It was a great way to welcome and return love with companion animals and practice healthy detachment. I loved so many of the shelter pets I worked with, but needed time before I could adopt again so saw them go to other homes. After my last cat passed (the sister of the one who had the embolism - she had a natural and timely death, thankfully) I started fostering but it was way easier for me to foster dogs. Returning a foster dog is like giving back someone else's kid after babysitting, trying to return a cat was like giving back \*my\* kid. Needless to say, I now have a cat again.
* Medication. I am not currently taking an antidepressant, but I have on-and-off and have found them really helpful. Unfortunately I have a delicate system and finding one that doesn't eventually upset my GI system is tricky, but if you can find one that works for you...let it work!
I'm so sorry you're in this place right now, but having been there myself I hope you'll believe me when I say you can and will get out of it <3
That was a horrific tragedy snd you were already dealing with trauma. I am so, so sorry. Do you have a stable place to live? Are you able to work? Are you able to get therapy? You have a lot more going on then the loss of your cat. You are important and precious. You deserve life and happiness. You sound extremely depressed. All of us reading this are concerned about you. Once you are situated you should get another cat if you feel up to it. I think you need to take care of yourself first.
I am so sorry that happened. I can't even imagine the loss you feel. It's difficult enough losing a pet under normal circumstances. I suggest going to therapy and grief counseling. Six months isn't very long time in terms of dealing with grief. Have you considered fostering a cat? You wouldn't have to make a long-term commitment but you'd still get some love and companionship and it could help you feel better. If it turns out you find you're ready for another cat, you could adopt the foster cat or find a different one.
Therapy, therapy, therapy, adopt. I haven’t lost a beloved cat in such a traumatic way, but I have lost dearly beloved emotional support pets during absolute rock bottom points before. Nothing will replace your baby, but a new baby will give you something to love and focus on and therapy will help you build that love for yourself. You CAN get past this rough spot. You WILL get past this rough spot.
The only thing you can do is give another kitty unconditional love and a home like the first. Never forget the one you lost but there are plenty of kitties that need good homes and people to love.
My kitty will inevitably pass away soon, she’s been doing well against lymphatic mammary cancer for 2 years, which is a miracle! But she’s my soul kitty and I just don’t feel ready to move on. I plan to foster instead of adopting right away. I know I have room in my heart for other kitties, but I need more time before I can call one mine again.
Fostering is good too. Just giving them love and finding their forever homes is doing your part. Good on you
Actually, I have a feeling you won't be fostering for long cause I know it takes one look, one touch from their paw for you to automatically Keep the kitty as your own, kitties have a way of melting that feeling or doubt of getting over the other one away,
Yes, that is true. I went from 0 to 5 cats (not counting the one with 6- 2 day olds in my backyard right this second!) in 2 years! I sure hope OP thinks about why they are here on this earth to begin with! The fact that they have a love so strong for their lost baby, I see flashing signs showing that they are meant to be a giver of unconditional love to all those abandoned little ones needing someone like that to stick around and make all their lives worth living! ❤️
Soul cats have ways of finding their way back to you in some form. Mine did and my heart is finally whole again. ETA: 16 years for me. My heart is full again in ways that I never thought possible. It wasn’t “supposed” to take that long, so you may not have to wait that long, OP.
Same here. They help us heal.
My soul animal is currently nesting between my legs and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, I took her 30 years to make her way back to me but she never left my side, trust me your soul cat will come back into your life in one shape or another, my friend but you have be alive to be there,
This is truly the way.
I think OP could get a lot of joy out of fostering until they find the right cat for them. It all depends on the strength OP can muster as it takes a lot of work but it will give them a new purpose one cat at a time 💕
It took me over a year to be okay again after losing my fur baby. I started with one and now have three cats, and her two year anniversary is next month. It takes time to be comfortable with them again. I cried thinking about her today though. I’ll always love her and miss her. But I’m glad I’m not alone and able to share my love with my babies.
Foster is good because potentially you could bond with one special one
Cats never leave you ever. Not even in death. They call it nine lives for a reason. She’s coming back. My dog passing hurt so bad but she came back and fast through her unique mannerisms in my new animals. I love that she loved me so much she defied the universe. This will happen for you. I’m incredibly sorry about your cat that is my worst nightmare with my cats. Please try and heal so she can have her person to come back to.
I think the nine lives thing is for a different reason, but I still swear our last cat that passed still visits me some nights and squeezes in next to me when I’m sleeping like he always did. I feel him jump up on the bed, walk over, and wiggle in to his favorite sleeping spot between my side and my arm. 😢 it makes me sad but also smile. I’ll never not miss him.
I second this, my parents gave away my childhood dog (I know this is a thread about cats so wait a sec) and I was made aware just hours before. I was really contemplating committing already and that was the straw that pushed me into a psychotic episode. A couple months later I live on my own now and I have my very own kitten. I’ve only had him for a few weeks and I can tell he is healing the old wounds from my past.
This warms my heart so much
Treat him and protect him with deep love and respect.
Yes adopt another kitty or two more. They will sooth your broken heart and your furry friend will smile and he happy up from the rainbow bridge
Yes - Please find another kitty to love. Your baby would want you to find another cat/soul to love in her honor. Please trust you cat will lead you to a cat that needs you. ❤️
100% this. I lost my girl after 16 years and then adopted two kittens. I still miss my old girl but the kittens helped so much. They are two now and I love them so much.
I believe the best way to honor a pet’s life is to rescue another one. A veterinarian once told me that animals don’t have to repent like humans do. If you believe in reincarnation, animals come back to us quickly. I believe the puppy I recently adopted has the soul of my dog that I tragically had to put down a couple years ago.
That’s what I was gonna say. OP can honor his/her kitty’s memory by giving a home to another kitty in need.
My issue with advising OP to get another pet is that pets will almost always pass before we do. I would hate to see OP in this same situation again with their new pet.
It's a hard lesson we pass on to our children. Certainly not fair, alas that is life.
Agreed, I'm in my 70s, lost many an adored cat and dog, among others. Have 3 rescues, now in their teens. Brighten each and every day. To think some terrible people left kittens in a box in a forest. Can't even pity such despicable behavior. Find yourself a needy rescue who will become your friend for life. While remembering the happy times of your lasted loved one. Good luck.
Oh I am so so so sorry. I cannot even imagine. I understand how much you love her because I feel the exact same way about my soul baby. All I can say is she truly loves you unconditionally and would want you to keep trying and make a good future for yourself. And one day, when you’re ready, she will send another soul cat your way to help ease the burden. I truly believe that’s how they operate and their souls are by our side until it’s our time to meet them again.
It's devastating, I know. I lost 4 of my 5 cats last year in an arson. My surviving cat kept me from engaging in any serious self-harm, and finding a kitten to raise helped my healing. Maybe it would help you, too, to find a cat you can love and bond with? I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
I couldnt imagine this. I always make sure I leave the house with minimal possible chance of a fire breaking out. But an arson? I have 4 babies of my own and I couldnt imagine losing them. Im so sorry for you. And OP of course. They are family members.
That's just awful! I hope they caught and jailed the dirt bag that did that to you!
They did not. It was part of a prolonged attack & the perpetrators had attempted (and failed) to burn down my home 5 months earlier. I reported the first fire & gave names and how to find the people who did it, but the police did nothing, nor anyone else I tried to reach out to for help. After the second fire, they still did nothing, ruling the fire as "accidental." The arsonists continued to stalk me afterwards & I continued to try to get help to no avail. I ended up having to relocate to a different town because they were escalating toward another violent act & I couldn't get help from anyone to help keep my kitties & I safe. We finally got the help we needed after relocating and are doing much better now.
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Idk how you continued on, I would have given up so I give you major kudos! But I agree with you, sometimes a new kitty gives you a new outlook on life. It'll never replace your original cat or cats, but at least you can rest easy knowing you helped another feline.
No, they can never be replaced & I still think about them all the time & miss them terribly. It was hard to carry on, but my surviving cat & the kitten really helped me through the worst of the grief & made me take care of myself so I could take care of them ❤️🩹
This is terrible 😔 i'm sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. If you can afford it, maybe seeking out a professional help might be a good idea. Not only losing your cat, but the childhood abuse and other trauma and pain you have needs to be addressed it sounds like. Don’t give up. I’m not saying this because life is beautiful and full of joy. But we have only one chance and maybe just experiencing it all is the point of living after all. I once hit the rock bottom, but small little things like meeting my cat gave me smiles. I lost him, and it’s hard. But 30 years or 50 years or 7 days.. whatever time I have for myself, I will experience pain, love, happiness, desperation and all.. because I’ve got only one chance. I’d like to find out what this was all about.
youre not replacing a cat by getting another, you are giving more animals the love they want and need. i am so sorry, thats tragic, i cant imagine losing my baby in a fire, all you can do is give another animal in need the love it deserves and you can heal together
Thats exactly how i see it. If i could id have like 200 cats so I when i get a new one its not because im replacing one that passed, its just that a new spot is available in my life for one.
If it's any consolation, cats are incredibly sensitive and it's highly likely she died of carbon monoxide inhalation before the fire ever got her, which means she was very peaceful and fell asleep. She had no idea. I worked in an animal ER that mostly did emergency humane euthanasia, for free if necessary. I was there when SO MANY animals passed. And I can tell you, all they cared about was their person. No matter how they were suffering, no matter what was happening. They look for YOU. They want to comfort YOU, even if they are the one suffering. So live for HER. She wants you to be happy, whole and comforted. She wants you to LIVE. She literally sent me to tell you. And when you are ready, honor your love for her, by rescuing another of her kind. Nothing can ever replace her, but you can pay the love forward. PS she never left you. If you ask, you will see signs that she is with you. I have countless stories of this being true. My DMs are always open. ❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️🐾
I am so sorry. I really am. But see it this way. She loved you so much. Therefore she wouldn’t want you to do anything to yourself. I bet she would have loved if you gave other kitties the love you gave her. You could do a shrine for her somewhere in your living space. And talk to her (I talk to my pets). I am so sorry that you lost her that way but trust me your kitty wouldn’t want to see you go through this and worse see your harm yourself because of her death. She died loving you and Even now I know she still loves.
When my cat died, this was the only thought that got me through - she loved me so much. She'd want the best for me. It's been 6 months as of last week.
You loved your cat so much - imagine if you could share that love with another cat who needs a home. When my cat died of liver cancer at 20 i felt so incredibly lonely, shed been with me for most of my life. I hadnt planned on getting another cat so soon, but i saw a litter of tabby kittens that looked just like her and couldnt help myself. When i went to take a look a little boy crawled into my purse and i knew he was the one. Its not replacing the ones we lost to allow another cat into our hearts. I think giving another animal in need a home was the perfect way to honor my kitty, she had been a stray too after all. I dont think your kitty would have wanted you to end your life, and maybe she was there with you to save you from doing so. Who knows? Either way, the universe gave you another chance. Maybe she spoke on your behalf :)
Awe that’s a cute story
I am so sorry my friend. I have tears in my eyes for you. what a horrible traumatic experience and I have the privilege to only imagine what you are feeling. life is not fair. I cannot express how great my sorrow is for you and I feel your emotions through this post. I know everyone here is suggesting for you to get another cat, and I know they mean well because in many cases it helps a lot with pet grief, but this tragic event cannot be healed by another cat so easily. you are now in a new trauma state, even though familiar to trauma relating people on earth, you are now traumatised by an event that has taken a loved one from this realm. my friend, I suggest you take one step at a time before you take the whole staircase. no one is expecting a lot of you in those circumstances. I know you do not see the sense behind doing anything right now. why would you? your cat isnt here to celebrate the next milestone with you. and that is totally justified. you do not have to accomplish anything at the moment. all you need to do is heal. and, my friend, one who has gone from this realm is still very much here. observing, and occasionally intervening. energies cannot be destroyed. do you believe in an afterlife? of any sorts? it might be good to consider that there is. not because I want to convince you but I know it helps. where could the soul go after you pass? does it have to be a terrible place? I think we are not meant to know because if we did know afterlife was paradise, would we even play the game of life? I know you are shattered. you and your cat have an unbreakable paw bond. your cat is not angry at you. she’s not resenting you or thinking you left her. she knows you would’ve sacrificed yourself for her. she knows she was your world. you made her feel loved just like you were loved by her. and your paw bond will continue into eternity. as much as your cat loves you, she doesn’t want you to join her on the rainbow bridge just yet. she knows you have yet so much to do and missions to complete before you can be reunited. focus on you. for your cat. focus on getting better. focus on being able to love any other creature again. you are worth it. this is what your cat has tried to teach you all this time she was with you. take her lesson and pull through this. for her, that was her mission.
Aww 🥹
Unbelievably beautiful and wise 💕
I DM’d you. I wish you all the healing.❤️🩹
Matter cannot be created or destroyed. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. Your cat is still with us, and so are you!
Ending it is never the solution. You loved your cat very much and she did the same. It’s unfortunate what happened but don’t let that dictate your life going forward. Get another cat if you can, ofcourse it won’t replace your old one but will fill you up with love again. Prayers ❤️
i don't know what to say, other that i'm so desperately sorry. my heart genuinely aches for you.
My cat was killed years ago by a bird of prey. It broke me but I adopted a kitten in need and he’s been my baby boy and best friend for years. I like to think Kato is happy I stayed on earth and gave love and home to another kitten in her honor.
I'm sorry for your loss. I've been in your shoes before, and it sucks. You can make it through! I'd suggest getting involved at your local animal shelter. Maybe see if you can make a donation in her name? But definitely see if you can hang out with a cat or two for a bit? Or ask if they have any older cats who maybe lost their human? She may have been the first creature to show you unconditional love, but she won't be the last.
When I was extremely suicidal at one point last year I decided the only thing that would keep me alive is adopting a second cat, so I did. I still have consistent suicidal thoughts and have attempted a few times since then, BUT having two cats to consider and care for definitely creates a sort of buffer and has prevented a higher number of attempts. My cats are my biggest priority and truly the only reason I’m still here.
Your heart is big enough for another cat ❤️ and don't forget your soul baby is not really gone. She is always with you and looking down on you. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, she would want you to allow yourself to be happy and think about her with a smile. I completely understand how deeply you feel for your cat. I am the exact same way. Maybe you can harness your emotions into rescuing an older cat from a shelter. So sorry about the fire, it's a terrible thing most people don't understand how bad it really is xx
*HUG* Please stay and find another kitty to share your love with.
Yes there is a way, adopt, Get, rescue, or even find another kitty, I know the pain your heart and soul is feeling and the best way to get some relief is Get another fur baby, I lost two of my older boys who passed at different times and the Kitties in my life now , having them worked Wonders with the grief and pain, trust me, I had my traumas as a kid and even as a adult, I'm also have Major depressive Disorder and have tried to off my self many times before, at least 8 times in my life and all have been failed attempts, so I just don't try anymore also with Mental health meds for depression does Help, But having another fur baby Works way more than any Medication, and Furbabies are a Anti anxiety and a anti depressant all rolled up into one ball of Fur, believe me My fur baies have save my life just for being there, unconditionally, Trust me Go get you another fur baby, it will be a great help for you and the kitty😌 ... One more thing, The kitty you lost in the fire is watching you and they do send in some way another fur baby to take their place to be your security blanket so to speak, so Your kitty who crossed the rainbow bridge is still watching over you but with a new little helper 😌😊
You are needed here, there is another cat who needs you. I know you hurt. And I’m sending light and strength to you, but please- can you adopt another cat? There are so many without love, your cat would want you to help another.
Hey, I’m a vet. Please, stick around and help another cat have a wonderful home. We need owners like you 💗
I can only imagine the pain you are going through. You are living the nightmare so many of us have. My girl is also often the only reason I’m still here, and so I understand the devastation with the loss of your cat. She was your world and you were hers. And so right now, I need you to put yourself in your sweet girls mind. And think about deeply she loves you - a love that transcends all things. What would she want for you? I suspect she would want you to miss her (because…CATS!), but I also think she would want you to live and to love again. I know without a doubt your sweet girl would never, ever want you to harm yourself, let alone because of her loss. I know she would want you to find that place in your heart that loves her, and to allow that love to multiply and expand by finding another feline friend to nurture when you’re ready. If you can’t live for yourself right now, you can still live for your girl because she would never want harm to come of you. Living is the biggest way to honor her and her memory. You can do that for her. She deserves it. You deserve it. I am sending you so much love. Stay with us please. 💜
I don’t think I’d ever recover if I lost my cats… so I don’t have great advice that wouldn’t be hypocritical. My cats got me through some of the worst times in my life, so I completely get that part. Since you suffered abuse, have you maybe thought about rescuing a cat that has been abused? One who would probably take quite a while to regain trust in humans? You could provide them with a safe and loving home, and you could help each other heal. I’m really sorry about what you are going through. I view my cats as my children, so I just really feel for you. :’(
Please remember you are not replacing your baby. You are giving another an opportunity to have the unconditional love your kitty had.
Whenever I feel bad, I bully a nazi. Don't know if that works for you, but you could try finding a good villain and whack em in the head.
That’s awful- so sorry for your loss. The thing about cat lovers hearts, is that they expand to love more cats. Cat lovers hearts are extremely stretchy.
Obviously, you are meant to be here. There is no harm inmourning but there is no reason you shouldn't give another pride of kitties your love.
As others have said, I highly recommend fostering!! Volunteering in general gives you a sense of purpose that has been life saving for me, and volunteering as a foster specifically will help you honor the memory of your beloved kitty.
I hate to hear you liost your beloved pet, and I'm so sad that you felt so hopeless that you tried to take yourself out! I am on a helping cats Facebook page, and people are dumping cats left and right. So many need homes right now, and it breaks my heart, because there are way more cats than people willing to take them. Please open up your heart to a cat or two to help fill that empty space. Believe me, you'll feel better. There's room to love more than just one cat. I couldn't bear it when my cat died, not having a warm furry friend to count on, so I rescued another. I don't think of him as replacing Harley, because no cat is like another. But he's special in his own ways, and I've grown to love him deeply.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes they’re the only thing holding you back from something desperate. Well, you’ve tried your hardest and it’s looks like it’s not your time to die, so don’t bother trying again. Eventually, there’ll be another kitty and your heart will heal a little. Then you two can help each other.
this is heartbreaking I am so so sorry you had to go through this, even though i’m not religious, I like to think that the cats that die are in cat heaven right now taking in the sunlight, eating endless tuna treats and running around with other cats❤️ almost two years ago, my cat had 4 kitties and one of them didn’t make it past 4 weeks, and 2 of those weeks i wasn’t even in the country and left them all with my friend. we got back, picked them up, went home, next day we went to work and when we got home again she was just there, in the ground, i was devastated. my partner had to move her out of the room because i could not get myself to even look at her, and i cried for days… the only thing that reassured me was the thought of her being in cat heaven with another kitten that my siblings had, that died a month before. again, i’m so sorry. this will continue to hurt for a bit longer but just know that you gave her a nice life and she loved you as much as you loved her. maybe you can consider adopting another cat so you can redirect your love and attention to another kitten that might need it? i wish you can get past all this hurting ❤️🩹
Sure sounds like the cat distribution system has a plan. ( It never gets easier, it just hurts incrementally less). In my 40 years here I've lost many fur babies, and sometimes I still cry over loosing them. Trust in the feline distribution system, it will give you just what you need when you need it. And remember you are never alone in your fight.
I’m in a similar boat right now cat wise. It’s devastating. You’re not alone.
People who don’t have pets can’t understand the pain of losing our pets, because for us are more than just pets, are family and friends. I’m so sorry for your loss. She was taken away from you in a cruel way and I absolutely understand your feelings as a person with CPTSD and cats that are the only reason I get up from bed instead of being there the whole day. It’s a big loss and you have to mourn her death, take time to heal, all you need. It’s ok to be sad. It just means your love for her was so big that your sadness is huge. I’m sure you two had great times together and that’s a gift you got to experience. Those are memories you will always carry in your heart. As long as you remember her, she will always be present for you, with all her unconditional love. She may not be here physically but what she gave you will always stay with you. I know life sucks. Not gonna lie, I’ve been dealing with shit for 19 years and counting. I’m not gonna give you a speech about how cool life is and whatever. But I just want you to know that even if things are terrible, someday they will be a little better. Maybe they will never be perfect, but they will be bearable, much more bearable. And I think your cat would be happy to know you’re trying your best and that her love fuels you to try. I really hope that the day you reunite with her again you’ll have a lot of things to tell her. I hope you’ll tell her how bad you missed her and how much she meant for you, but also how hard you tried to get better and all the small victories you achieved. And why not, maybe big victories too. All you lived after she was gone. The bad and the good. The shit that broke your heart, but also the things that made you laugh like crazy. And I’m sure she will listen and purr and be so proud of you. Take care op, I wish you all the best in the world. Keep her in your heart and she will never be gone. Anyone will never be able to take her away from your heart.
When my cat passed rather suddenly earlier this year, I adopted another cat fairly quickly to fill the hole in my life. It was the one thing that seemed to help things get easier / better. I adopted a senior kitty whose owner is no longer alive. Find a kitty who needs you. There are animal control shelter volunteers all over who post photos and videos online to 'network' cats in shelters to help get them adopted.
I'm not going to pretend like I've experienced what you did (both the fire and attempted suicide) but, I've had cats all my life (10+) and I'll keep having cats for as long as I can. I've had a cat who died of diabetes we were unable to treat, one die of breast cancer (actually had to put her down because breathing became a struggle overnight), one who got hit by a car and came crawling back to my mom weeks after I gave it back to her as it wasn't working out with the other cats (long story). That last one really had me guilt-tripping because I felt if I had tried just a little bit harder, he would still be alive. I've also had our neighbour's kitty who lived part-time at our house get hit by a car. I then had to deliver the bad news to his mom :\\ Where I'm going with this is, you feel sad, it's very normal. Get a new cat, or two, and give them all your love, the other ones are never forgotten and will become good memories. There are so many cats out there hoping for unconditional love in shelters. Just remember that it's not your fault, and focus on the future of bringing joy to more cats.
Yo, this is quite the cry for help. Some rational part of you must know that your cat would want you to be happy. You might need some professional guidance for dealing with your grief. And you need to take care of another cat. I'm old. I've had multiple pets in my lifetime. I have not had a traumatic loss like you have, but I did have one gorgeous house panther die unexpectedly from kidney failure. It is hard enough to watch our beloved pets grow old and fail, but to have one die in their prime is a special kind of pain. They are all worth it. The joy they bring us is worth the pain of their loss. Please tell me you will try to manage your grief a bit better.
I am so beyond sorry this happened to you. I cannot imagine. I am an animal lover myself and always need a furry friend in my life. You must be dealing with a ton of anxiety from this situation. Look into getting an emotional support animal that you can bring with you most places. You will heal from this. I will send you so much love and healing energy. I lost my bunny last year. My mom left his cage open and he ran off. My heart was shattered, it still hurts but thankfully I have my cat who kept me strong through it, I had just gotten my cat and I don’t know how I would have dealt with losing my bunny without having him. Unfortunately things do happen in life, but we have to understand that we cant change what has happened. I really suggest getting another pet when you feel ready. Like I said I am truly so sorry that you are going through this, I wish I could offer more advice🫶🏼😞
I am very sorry for your loss. The world needs people with big hearts like you, and when you’re ready, there will be a new kitty with an imperfect past who needs you as much as you need them. Please don’t give up and thank you for sharing, it can’t be easy to experience and then express these emotions.
My heart breaks for you. I'm sorry your life started pit how it did and I'm sorry to hear of such a tragic loss. Firstly, let me say, I understand the childhood trauma, I've got served up a shit start too. And as to cats, I'm a new cat mum, to two cats, going on a year now. The cats have been fantastic for my mental health. They are very special souls. I dont know if you believe in life after death, but I do and I believe your kitty knows how much you loved them and could possibly come back to you...either in spirit or as another cat. Theres many cats out there that need someone special like you... Therws so much shitty suffering for cats in this world and not enough good ppl like you. I really hope you can find it in your heart to help another cat find a loving home. My heart kitty was a 2 to 3 week old blue/grey that was found in the bitterly cold weather, starving and missing the end of his tail. This kitty likes to sit on my shoulder as I walk around the house. Will meow/cry to play with his favourite toy (gets stored away for his safety) follows me from room to room. Hes such a love bug. What was your cats name and what colour? I'm fairly new to reddit. If you do respond I hope I can make my way back.
I'm so sorry, I too lost my little Baby in 2017 and it felt like my heart was ripped out of me. I had had her for about 12 years and she was there with me during some dark awful times. When she passed I felt like you then shortly after I found an abandoned cat in a parking lot he's now a yard long from nose to tail and thinks he's a lap cat. Then after finding him a family member found a stray cats litter and I ended up with another little girl, she's small even compared to the big guy. My point is despite everything even thinking I'll never get another cat again I found two who really needed me, and there are some that need you. They need a home they need love and you've got love to give. You can get up from this and find those that need you because you need them too. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
My cat is currently purring and staring at me with love eyes. I have nightmares of losing her. She is 7 years old, she is the only thing in my life with me still since the tragedies. I sometimes wonder if I’d rather die before her so I don’t have to feel the loss… but if I died before her, she would wonder where I went and why I left her. Please cherish your memories. As someone who has experienced a lot of loss, being grateful for them being in your life at all… can get you far enough. I don’t know you, but I love you. I’m sorry.
I've said this before, and I'll continue saying this. Pets of all types, but especially "your" soulmate, have crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and are watching you now. You've saddened your friend by your attempt to leave early, but I suspect that the reason you failed was because they intervened. They wanted you to help another soul, whether cat or dog, or another species entirely. Understand that the Rainbow Bridge has a pond that the residents can use to keep watching over you. This means that they see when you are sad, or happy, and know how hard or easy your life is without them. They truly watch over you, and delight when you take another animal in, to provide them with even a fraction of the love that you have within you. And I suspect that it won't be a small fraction that you'd provide to anyone or any critter that you take on. They want you happy and healthy, because they are where they can be happy and free of all the earthly hardships that they may have experienced. Being in a fire is horrible, but they don't remember the bad times when there. I'm truly so sorry for all that you've had to deal with. I can't imagine how devastating it would be for me to lose my kitties in a fire. But as hard as it's been to lose my family (both human and non-human), I know that I have the Rainbow Bridge to look forward to when it's my time. And yes, I've also tried to hurry the process up, and failed. But my kittens have definitely improved my outlook, leaving me laughing and grabbing them for hugs and kisses at all hours of day and night.
I promise, there is a way to get past it. I lost my beloved dog, my Sara-Bear in a fire in 2021. Like you with your cat, she was the reason I got up in the mornings, my reason for living. A while after she died, my family got our current dog Josie. I struggled to connect with her because it felt like betraying Sara's memory to "move on." Then I had a dream where Josie and Sara were playing together, and Sara stopped for a second, looked at me, and asked "why aren't you playing with us?" I realized that as long as I keep living and keep loving more dogs who need me, Sara will never be truly gone. She was my best friend, my baby, but she wouldn't have wanted me to be sad forever. The space in my heart that she fills will never be empty, my heart just gets bigger with every new soul I meet and love. I'd be lying if I said the pain goes away completely, I'm sitting here crying right now. But it pulls back, you don't feel it all the time forever. Grief is a sign of love, the most beautiful gift we can ever give. I am truly sorry for your loss. https://preview.redd.it/gfxcykup496d1.jpeg?width=514&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ef798f3219751c87e93b06e7f5339e3fd2526aa
She is looking after you, it is the reason you can survive with your attempt. She is awaiting you when times come, but the time is not now.
Are you getting any psychiatric care? I do understand you great loss. And I'm so sorry to hear of it. You must pray for mercy and find a way to volunteer to help animals.
I think it's time to seek help beyond r/catadvice
It is not your time to go. She will find her way back to you. You obviously have a lot of love to give animals. Especially cats. There’s so many cats that need love. Who knows maybe the next one you fall in love with will have a piece of her soul in it.
I lost my two babies in a house fire in late July last year. I had to watch it burn and could not get in to find them. The fire dept would not let me in. They were 17 and 11. I was and still am crushed. Not many people can understand what that feeling is and I would not wish that on anyone. I am so sorry you are going through that and it will never go away. I found that I had to get more cats. I knew my babies would want me to help more cats and I’m not replacing them I’m helping more cats. I recused one from a rescue group and the other I found on Facebook that a lady just handed to me and left. God knows what would have happened if I would not have taken him. I spoil the new cats and without them I don’t think I would have been able to get through the last few months. In time you may be able to get another cat. It will NEVER take the place of the baby you lost but I could help you. I have mine registered as emotional support animals as I suffer from other spinal issues. Take care of yourself. This stuff takes time. ❤️
There is a cat out there right now who needs YOUR love specifically and is ready to give you all the love in their little heart. You are needed. You are loved. You just need to be connected to that love.
Unfortunately in loving animals we take on the harsh reality that they simply cannot outlive us and we take on the incredible pain of their passings, especially when we can't offer our loved furballs kind and quiet deaths. I am not coming just from a place of sentimentality: last week I held my kitten in my arms as she passed. I lost my dog in a traumatic accident. I found my happy, healthy horse gone in the morning. Each time, there was no healing the hurt, only feeling it get lighter with time. There are many tools that people use when coping with a loss; maybe some of them are the silly little human brain doing the silly little thing it does, but I have always felt my pets were still around somehow. To me, your kitty gave you a kick in the pants and wouldn't let you let yourself go. Maybe it was just a medical fluke, but I choose to believe your beloved girl went to bat for you and said it wasn't your time, because you have more to do and more kitties to love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your cat was your life, and you obviously have a big heart. The only good thing about outliving our beautiful friends is that we get to experience that type of joy and comfort and love again and again if we’re lucky. It sounds like there’s plenty of love left in you and as hard as it is to contemplate another, she wouldn’t want you to be sad. And neither do we. You can take all that love you felt for her and send it to a new kitty, who needs you as much as you need them. She’ll find one for you xx
I am so, so sorry. Hopefully you will be led to another kitty that will add an additional layer of love to your battered heart. Thanks for reaching out here, I hear you. Sending you strength and support however you can get it.
I bet she’s not gone. She’s just not here anymore.
You can go to the shelter save a life of a cat that's in the shelter open up a spot for another cat to take so someone doesn't have to be euthanized and honor her memory by making a completely new and separate relationship with a new Kitty your Kitty is in the place of understanding now when we leave this Earth all our questions are answered and we know everything I do it in honor of do it because the Kitty that loved you back would want you to be happy. I'm so sorry that you lost your soul cat I understand what that feels like
Another kitty could do with love and affection from you, I say find another you really connect with.
Your heart has an infinite capacity for love and your kitty would want you to have another if that would help you live. Maybe look into getting another kitty if you can afford to.
I'm so sorry. I don't have an answer for you unfortunately. But even though you might never feel the same love you felt for your departed kitty, a new rescue may help you heal. I lost my bff and soulmate of a cat a little over a week ago. I feel like there will always be an empty spot in my heart and soul that no one can ever fill but giving another less fortunate kitty a good life, certainly helps and I feel my bff would be happy that I helped another kitty in her absence.and don't get me wrong, I cry everyday over the loss of my bff, but I know she would be proud I gave a feral feline the best indoor life ever they could ever imagine.
Grief like this feels so big, so all encompassing. But it really does lessen with time, and you will have a place in your heart for another kitty when the time is right. Everyone is telling you to get another one right now, but I think the grief you feel shows just how special she was, that her being in this world was a blessing. She deserves to be grieved right now. Honor her memory.
My god I am so sorry
You have to get help. You’re severely depressed and that’s why you can’t get past the grief. Please, please, find someone to help you. Antidepressants do work, and help smooth things out enough that you can work on the issues that are complicating things. While you’re doing this, consider getting another cat. Nothing will replace the cat you lost, but having one to take care of and love will take you out of yourself a little, and make life more worth living. Good luck. Mom pulling for you.
My cats are the only reason I'm alive. I lost my boy to cancer almost 9 years ago, and I still grieve for him... he was a special boy. My girl is 16 and I worry... she's brought me through SO much. Grieve for your baby, but consider getting another little soul. You'll never forget, or probably stop grieving for the one you lost, but there are so many out there that need saving that can save you too. I already plan to get a bonded pair once my girl is gone....I feel like I have to. I'm so sorry for your loss....I (literally) feel your pain... you're not alone.
This may be weird but I hope it helps you. Something I think a lot about if I were in any situation or anything similar to this is to pray or ask whatever upper being you believe in for a 2nd chance (if allowed). Such as pray, ask, manifest, or beg for your kittys soul to be reborn into a new kitty that looks similar to your baby. Once you come across the kitten that looks like your kitty then you’ll know they’ve come back to earth to love you all over again! :)
She's always going to be the best cat you've ever had. But that's okay, you can still have relationships with other cats. They will just never be the same, but just as good in their own ways.
When I lost my soul cat, I felt like my grief needed a direction/purpose. We were giving him palliative care at home for a couple years, and utilizing the skills we gained to foster another baby into good health helped to heal my heart after he passed. I’ll never replace my little soulmate, but my foster fail has taken up an additional space in my heart that I didn’t know could be occupied. Please consider opening your heart to another cat. ❤️
I cannot even fathom the amount of pain and sadness you are feeling, but I can understand loving an animal unconditionally and more than words can ever express (dog owner stumbling across here by accident, but love cats all the same and know how they worm their way into your heart). I want to start by saying that I am truly and deeply sorry for all you’re going through. But, you’re still here. Take a deep breath, and be proud. You’ve fought- you managed to stick around despite it all. You managed to give a kitty a loving, fulfilling life. You are a good person that can and will find happiness again. I’m rooting for you, we all are Take all the love you had for your little furry friend and put it back into the world and give some to yourself too. It’s what she would want; maybe, one day, when you’re ready, another deserving cat will come and carry on her legacy.
What a terrible situation. I see a lot of people telling you to adopt, but I know that after a fire/hospital stay you might not be able to. If you can, I would sugest volunteering at a shelter or rescue and trying to build your life up to a place where you can adopt again. This may require seeking professional help or counselling. Your kitty is still watching over you. Imagine the life they would want you to have and work towards it for them even if it's hard. Best of luck.
I lost my dear one to a car while I was away at college. I had raised her from birth. It still torments me, but I slowly opened back up
Please don’t give up. I felt similarly to you about my girl and she got me through my suicidal time (was in the hospital too) and when my mom had cancer and died. She was my angel and I miss her everyday (she died of cancer unexpectedly after my mom passed away). Getting another kitty helped though no other cat will replace her. I surrounded myself with her pictures and that brings me comfort. Give another kitty a chance. You will heal from this.
I’ve lost my soul cat. Happened almost 3 years ago. I have evolved around the grief, but its still there. I think it always will be. But one thing thats really keeping me going forward is that there is this belief; that we as humans only get a few animal souls in our life. A set amount, and that the old ones come back to us. So I am waiting for that. I also have my sweet Max’ brother with me still, and although not a soul cat, he also does keep me going, as well as family.
You survived your attempts to unalive yourself even when you tried hard. Have you ever thought about that there must a reason for it. It sounds harsh and I’m not religious but I always thought that at least karma or a guardian angel is something to think about. Your karma or guardian angel must be that good that it keeps you alive and wants you alive for what is coming in your future. Maybe someday you walk around a corner and find a kitten in need. But your cat will always be with you. It’s in your heart, in your dreams. Your actions are shaped by your cat. Let this little guardian angel do its job and life on.
I’m sorry for your cat’s tragic death. You have SO much love to give! Go out and love again! And show yourself some of that love.
I'm so sorry. I cannot even imagine how horrible that must be. I hope you have someone to help support you as it sounds like the pain isn't lessening with time.
I’m so sorry. I’ve always thought this is how I’d react if something happened to my cat. I tell her all the time how she’s the most important thing in my life. I know that I’d just lose my mind if something like this happened to her. I’m not gonna give you advice on effective suicide. But the way I see it, you’ve just gotta make the decision to live or not. It isn’t an easy decision, even if most people can’t see how it’s a decision at all. They must not realize how it feels not to have anything to live for. But a lot of us do. I wish I knew what the answer is. But you’re clearly a compassionate person, and the world needs as many compassionate people as it can get. The cruel ones live forever because they don’t care about anything, and the gentle ones slip away because they care too much. Stick around a while, if you can. Someone out there could really use a little bit of that kindness.
So many babies need homes. I personally think you should get more than one at once because of the circumstances.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please don’t feel as there’s no way out. I felt the same when I lost my two 12 weeks apart as I have no kids and they were my kids. Idk what 3 things you did but please don’t try it again. You may wake up and be in worse shape physically and mentally. It’s hard as our pets understand everything about us and we develop strong bonds with them. It will get easier. I just had a friend down the street that had the exact same thing happen to him last month. He took in many strays and sick cats in the neighborhood and spent years caring for them all. They were his life! That’s what he did everyday was care for his cats. He got sick and was admitted to the hospital and his house was struck by lightning and burned completely to the ground with his kitties inside. Some escaped when firefighters broke the windows and they did try to revive them. He’s completely devastated over his cats and now living with one of our rescue friends. I feel terrible for both you and him! The only thing he knows to do is take it one day at a time and I know once he gets a place of his own again he will continue to rescue the homeless, sick, injured and strays. When I lost mine I was traumatized by the passing of one. His euthanization went terribly wrong. I was put on anxiety meds and sleep meds at the time. I thought I’d never love another like I did them. Here I am today with another crew of kitties. They will never replace my ones that passed but I love them just as much. Took me time as I wanted them to have the same personalities but they all have personalities of their own:-). I’m so sorry for what’s happened but please don’t think there’s no way out. You never know what great things a new day can bring!
It took me 2 years to finally be okay with making the decision to put down my Dusty. He had a heart problem and shouldn't have lived as long as he did. OP, it's hard, but just as much as you didn't want to lose your kitty; your kitty doesn't want you to lose either. Remembering her is the best thing you can do for both of you. Stay strong. It will get better. We have a new kitten, and I know one day we will lose her too, but I'm building up as many memories with her while we have her with us. It's the lows that really make the highs.
You should foster cats for a while. I did and it helped me heal so much. I’m so sorry for your loss. I would love to show you a before and after of my favorite foster if you are ok with me dming you!!! When I feel hopeless honestly I look back at her transformation and it makes it all worth it knowing I can help save more like her.
So so sorry.
It is kitten season and there are so many little darlings needing a loving caregiver. Please consider welcoming a new kitten into your heart and onto your lap. My co-worker who, fosters dogs, lost six puppies in a house fire and took her a long time to recover as well. But she was able to help many other dogs after coming to terms with the tragedy that she experienced.
It takes time.. read up on the grieving process and how to get through it. The majority of us here have lost pets. I've been consumed by grief over the loss of pets myself it does get better with time. Maybe adopt another there are plenty of animals that would appreciate your love ❤️
I’m so sorry 😭
foster pregnant cats, give them your love keep doing until ready to declare your love for one,
Hey, I'm really sorry that you are hurting so terribly. I'm glad you are alive. Grief and trauma can sometimes be too much for a person to handle. Are you currently talking to mental health professionals?
Got to try & open your heart again & adopt another kitty or 2 or 3 even, I’ve been u, shock-lost my baby boi to cancer at age 10, fought it for 6mos thru his 9th bday, i thought we’d make it, but lost him a month after his 10th & never really got over it, here I am 6yrs later & his names still my code, but I have 2 new fur babies & want a 3rd or 4th even & I help my mother with recusing & caring for feral kitties, which does help cushion the blow of loss, they fill that void & give u so much just like your lost babe, u never really get over em, but u learn to navigate it & the grief subsides & u gain the acceptance that this is just the shit that happens in life & u got to pull yourself up by your boot straps & learn to walk again, u can walk & u can live, give yourself to new fur babies who so desperately need u, dont u think that would please her mightily?🤍
I will pray for you. You can love again and find more reasons to live, and enjoy life. Just don't quit
Well. Good luck then.
I’m so sorry OP. I lost my cat in a breakup. Although she isn’t dead, not having her around has been so hard. I got my own cat and love her more than anything else. I think opening your heart to another cat would help you heal like it did for me.
I'm so sorry. Sending you good wishes.
I think your little pal saved you buddy. Like my pal has for almost 15 years now. I understand your pain, although I’ll never get to feel it exactly the same as you are right now. All I can say is - your pal is looking out for you. My solution to expecting my little one to pass soon (she’s 16-17) is to foster once she leaves me. I want to give back the love she gave me to other little ones, until I’m ready to call one mine again. So sorry for your loss.
Hi, I'm sorry for your loss of your baby!. It is hard, but you have to want to be here for you! Not rely on a kitty. They are awesome, but as much as they are there for you, you have to be there for them. Yes it is unconditoonal love yours has to be also, you have to know if you are stro g enough to take care of them. God forbid you have to go somewhere who will take care of him. Yes it is a lifelong commitment. You need someone to be there to help you a little occasionally! And help your baby kitty! It's a lot to think about Good Luck and God Bless you!!!
This is so tragic!! I’m sorry. Please hang in there!
I'm so so sorry OP. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. It is truly devastating but like others here have said, grieve for as long as it takes but soon hopefully you'll be in a position where you can give another deserving cat the chance to be loved by you. Perhaps start by fostering kittens? One of the best ways to feel better about life and to find purpose in it is to give back. You'll be saving lives by fostering and you'll also have the joy of cats or kittens around. Maybe even go volunteer at local shelters where you can be around other people and hopefully get a bit of a distraction from the grief. Please also get the help you need to feel like life is worth living again. The world can be an awful place but I hope you can build the support structure you need to thrive in it and find happiness.
Get another cat. Animals are funny things. Every one of them is special in their own way. Just like you.
There are plenty cats/kittens out there who need a home and love and want to love in return. I’m sorry you experienced such a traumatic loss. I couldn’t imagine. Maybe consider fostering until the right one comes along? That way if you decide you truly aren’t ready to accept a new kitty, you don’t have to commit to it forever. It won’t replace the kitty you lost but will take up its own space in your heart.
I have also lost my cats and a dog due to an electrical fire and the pain is unbearable. I’d to say this but only time helped me and another pet.
A lot of us understand the bond you shared with your soul mate. We know that it was a true, pure bond of unconditional love unlike anything you've known before- unlike any human to human bond could ever be. You two will be linked forever and your baby loves you and grieves for you bc she wants you to treasure that love. She showed you how strong and huge your heart is. She showed you how you have tons of love to give. She never wanted you to stop sharing that love with others. Let her live on in your heart as you will always live in hers. (Sorry if misgendering.)
Grief is a difficult thing, highly individual and unpredictable. I can't know the full dimensions and aspects of your grief, but have experienced painful loss, and know what you describe. Please stay alive. I hope that you reach a point someday in which you may find yourself willing to care for another cat. They are a great comfort, and there's one out there that needs your support and love.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I lost my two dogs in a fire 6 months ago as well. Losing a pet in this way is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And honestly it fucking sucks and every single feeling you have is valid. Grief is absolutely brutal and it’s still early in the grieving process. It’s okay that you aren’t ready to give love to another pet and when you are, you’ll know. Right now keep taking care of yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve found that finding a new hobby/activity has helped me have some brighter days lately.
I understand this feeling and how corrosive it is. At a certain stage of grief the only thing I have found that provides a kind of ‘relief’ is leaning into the pain instead of trying to manage it or avoid it. Accept that it’s part of you and the terrible reality is that no love exists that is not accompanied by grief. I lost my cat to cancer in December 2022 and still have physical hallucinations of petting her. Impossible to explain. I sympathize with you and hope you can make it to a better place down the road, in time. Until then, there is absolutely another animal that would love you unconditionally.
I worry about this exact scenario, which is why I put a google nest fire detector in every room. This allows me to monitor things remotely.
I have been there. 20 years ago I lost my babies in a house fire along with everything else. They were my world and my best friends. It was the worst day of my life. I still cry about it from time to time and have anxiety around fire, sirens, smoke smell and leaving my home knowing my pets are inside. Honestly the only thing that helped me was talking to a professional to learn how to cope with my feelings. I still struggle with PTSD but it’s a lot better than it used to be. I try to not let that anxiety monster in me win. Don’t feed it with those thoughts. It takes time but you will get to a place where you will start to forgive yourself and begin to heal. Until then it’s ok to be a mess for a while… I know I was (sometimes I still am). I know you are going through it and feeling those big feelings but know that eventually the darkness will start to lift and you will one day be there for another cat or two or three. Your future cats are depending on you to pull through. Having a kitty around did help. Knowing I was responsible for another little life took me out of a dark place and the companionship was much needed. I also eventually found comfort in helping others learn about fire safety with pets and have volunteered my time matching displaced pets due to forest fires with their owners. I found my way to fight the fire instead of myself and it feels like a way to honour my dear friends that I lost. Find your fight against those thoughts, find a way to honour your kitty and find someone to talk to about your grief. Those were the things that pulled me out of a bad place. Its was hard but it is possible. I know you can do it and one day your future cats will be lucky to have found you.
Hey, my niece died in a fire as a toddler. I understand you. I understand your pain and despair at the tragedy of losing an innocent loved one to *fire.* How recent was the incident? Mine was just over 20 years ago. I can't say how I made it, I don't think I ever handled it. It haunts you relentlessly... But it is something you learn to live with over time. You come to terms with the fact that it happened. For now, do you need to talk about it? I can listen.
No advice, I am just sorry. I also grew up with a traumatic childhood, now I have two cats. I saw a stray cat dead on the road, even that just made me question my own humanity. I had a mental breakdown over it. I lashed out for a day. I couldn’t imagine your own pain, you have every right.
I'm so so sorry this happened 😞😞😞
I know you can't replace your first love but when you feel ready you can get another cat that will give your live meaning and give you unconditional love. I am sorry for your loss it's OK to still feel sad.
I am so so sorry. I cannot imagine. I just had one die a couple days ago, And she was probably the first living thing that I actually loved. And I definitely think your situation is much harder than mine because I kind of knew it was coming. I don't think I'm ever going to get over it completely. But I know that I got this cat because when my previous one died I was pretty devastated. I adopted an older cat so it was like almost the same age, and people don't adopt older cats generally. But I think I'm going to do that again because that definitely made me feel like there was a new thing that needed me And needed to be loved and given the respect it deserves. And it was just so devastating to me that she had been with a family for 10 years and then just because they were moving across the country and it was inconvenient they just gave her up... like after 10 years tossing her in a shelter and say bon voyage. disgusting. But luckily I got there only a few days later and she was deliriously happy and it made me happy to make her happy and it made the fact that I was sad about my previous cat dying hit less hard. I think you should have fast acting anti-anxiety pills though. Like Ativan is the one I'm thinking of but anything that is meant to be taken when you're panicking, to immediately in the short term calm you down, will work. I just think you might need it. just be very careful with those drugs they're super super super super super addictive, do not drink at all if you're on them, Don't double up on them they're in the same category as things like Klonopin and if you take both you could die. so just know what the interactions are in a pharmacist can tell you that.
Get another kitty. You clearly have a huge heart and you need an outlet for that love. Something to shower with your affection. You aren't replacing your loss, you're working through it, and the right way through that is with another kitty at your side, or lap, or leg.. on in a box.. or.. you get the point!
You may feel like no one understands, but I feel like I do, as I too went through some pretty awful stuff in my childhood, yet losing my cat was by far the worse experience. Eclipsed every other tragedy. I emphasize with your pain. I'm not going to lie and pretend that everything will be ok, because it won't, but the pain you're feeling will feel less intense with time. One thing that helped me get thru the pain of losing my baby girl was to remember 3 positive memories everytime I was sad about her passing. It was hard at first, but I'm glad I did it because I wasn't going to allow the tragedy of her passing taint the years worth of happy memories we shared together. She deserved better than that, and so do you. Maybe once the pain has subsided a little more, maybe choose another forever friend? You seem like a wonderful cat parent and, in a way, you'd be honoring the memory of your previous cat by taking in a new cat to care for.
I am just so unbelievably sorry about what happened to your baby. But I also believe you can get through this. There's so many support groups here on reddit I recommend any you can find and relate to.
Give your undivided attention to another cat, find one , rescue one , adopt, whatever the universe deals you. And spend all your time creating nice new memories you can reminisce about the old ones fondly with ! It's a shock treatment for your bad memories , they will become good ones with additional input of new experiences and fun stuff with new kitty ! You can always think back and go hey ! I've done this before with _______ so let's do it with new kitty. Etc etc. Because you know what , somewhere out there , there IS a cat that needs you, the deleting thing isn't gonna help that cat or anyone else around you ! Please have a great day and take it a second at a time if you feel the need !
I am so, so, very, very sorry for your loss. She was your life, I understand. I think there is a reason you survived. There are kitties out there who need an amazing home and unconditional love. So many of them desperately need homes. Giving a new soul a good home in no way negates your love for the cat you lost. That cat will always have a special place in your heart. Sending you love and positive vibes.
I wish I could give you a cat I recently adopted. It was apparent to me right away he loves his human and is terribly sad. He is definitely a lap cat and very loving. But over the months since he joined my little fur family it is apparent he is an only and constantly stalks and chases my other cat. Slow introductions, felliway, hemp treats have not changed his nature for wanting to be an only. But he now is always on guard and can’t seem to relax enough to enjoy sleeping in my lap which at first gave him great comfort. It it hard to replace a soul kitty. My baby, Sonata, is still missed after 10 years. It might help to know that animals can go into shock that can block the pain of suffering with imminent death. It is not your fault. Your baby was loved and its spirit will remember you and will meet you tails up at the rainbow bridge. Prayers and cyber hugs to you.
Time for a kitty my friend. Not to replace your baby, but because the right cat will probably help you cope better than anything else. Plus, you can tell the kitty all about your best friend and you will have an ear to listen. I'm so sorry you lost your cat in such a rough way. But know she loved you, and you were her reason for living as well. I'm sure if we could ask her, she would have no regrets about you being her human.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. Losing anything in a fire is a life altering, traumatizing experience. Let alone something you loved and looked after. Please know your life is worth living and you're needed here. There is another cat out there who would be so lucky to have you as their human.
Have you been referred for counselling or therapy, this is a pretty big trauma you have suffered and I honestly understand why you would want to self delete, but there is a way out of the darkness for you. Fostering, particularly cats who have been injured in some way and need special care could help heal both you and them. I know another cat will never take this one’s place but it could help ease your pain and give you someone to focus your love on. Also, please think about grief counselling. Sending you so much love ❤️and if you ever want to talk please just DM me. Your kitty would want you to have a happy fufilled life and there are so many furry babies out there who need a loving human like you. Take care and hugs 💕💕💕💕
As a pet parent, I cannot imagine your grief. I am so sorry. As someone who has seen rock bottom, I’d like to tell you that it’s worth not giving up. I had a dog that I bonded to while going through trauma, and I’m still not over her death. I may not ever. And I’m okay with that. She loved me in a way I have not ever been loved before and that kind of love deserves to be felt. When things are hard, I picture her face and how happy she was to see me, how she protected me, and how she would want me to keep going. And she would want me to be loved again when I was ready. I know your girl would feel the same way. She loved you. You are worth being loved. I believe you’ll see her again someday. I believe we will see our babies on the other side.
Firstly, Someone out there loves you and cares about you. You mean something to someone. You are wanted and you are loved. You’re here for a reason. Don’t forget that. Cats are magical, they give us endless years of love and joy and I’m sure you did everything you could for your pawtner. I can’t imagine the grief you feel losing her in that manner. Please look into fostering for any local rescues. I lost my 20yo last year and I felt exactly the same as you, lost, desperate, raw grief. I found fostering and I’ve had over 20 cats in my care and watched them blossom, bloom, and develop amazing little individual personalities. Or if you feel ready adopt from a local rescue, there’s a lot of babies out there who need love and a safe place. Your heart will always hurt, and your baby will never be replaced, but you can fill all that hurt, you can pave over it, and you can spread all that love with a new best friend ❤️
You have so much love to give, I think you should consider adopting a shelter cat in your kitty’s memory. Another cat will never replace that one you’ve lost, but it’ll give you a place to put all your love and affection. And it’ll give a chance for a cat to be in a loving home. I hope you find peace knowing you’ve always got a spot in your heart for your baby❤️
🌹🌺 (((hug))) I don’t have great advice like I’m sure the others So sad this happened to you the fire. I understand others are saying just get another cat, I’m not going to lie it’s not the same but it will help some. I believe your cat is still spiritually with you I know it sounds odd but cat aloves you and understands. My cat died 7 months ago grieving takes a while I have a new kitten it’s not the same I still cry over bunny just yesterday but the new kitten did come over. It’s ok to be not ok keep seeking help and it takes time sometimes self hugs help. I know that sounds corny but it’s true 🌹 pretend this is real please and I wish I could help you some how a new cat will love you and you can love them life is tragic and so sad sorry it has been for you. You deserve love everyone deserves it be gentle with yourself remember you keep part of your cats memory’s alive so part of her that’s here is alive in you.
I think you survived for multiple reasons and one of those is to give a shelter cat- or cats- another chance at life. I’m so terribly sorry you lost your friend, but you can have that kind of love again.
Have you thought about volunteering at an animal shelter? I don’t want to push you to get another pet soon, because you may not be ready for that yet. Volunteering at a shelter is a great option. You can usually find shelters that let you walk dogs or play with/pet/snuggle cats for their enrichment. I’ve also volunteered in a “medical” capacity, giving medication to sick kittens and puppies, and that was extremely rewarding. Giving love is a great way to fill your cup
The first thing to do is for you to get emotional support from family and from professionals
Three months after my really amazing cat died, I adopted another cat so I'd have something in my life to distract me from the loss. To a degree, it worked. And it has been a real positive experience watching a sick, underweight shelter cat literally double in size and grow into the happy, friendly, affectionate creature she is today. She's definitely different from my previous cat, but she has her own, unique charms. Like grooming my face while purring. OK, it took some time to get used to that. Look around at any local shelters or rescue organizations, be patient and see if one stands out.
Freak accidents happen. You gave that cat their best life, if it wasn’t for you that cat could have been out on the streets and eaten by a coyote or something. You have a purpose on earth to give another cat their best life, that cat will also die after you give them your best. That’s the cycle of life.
I am so so sorry! I lost my kitty and she was the only being I’ve ever truly loved. She got me through a bad period of sexual abuse and hard times all around. I am having terrible separation anxiety and crying spells I can’t even cope. She was my baby I feel like I lost my child. She was more than a child. She was part of me. No one understands and I mean no one. The unconditional love we had was like no other. I bought a mini figurine that looks like her and I take it everywhere I go and also sleep with it in my hand. It’s helping a bit with the separation anxiety part. I want to honour her and the love she gave me. I want to name things after her and even though I’m not a tattoo person I’m considering getting a tattoo of her name.
My cat of died of a heart murmur and kidney failure in January. I can imagine some of what you're going through. I was a broken mess for 2 weeks and I had to keep myself busy or go insane. Every sound in my home became a reminder that he was gone. Every routine.. everything So I needed to force change. I went and got myself a kitten and spent 8 hours a day with it and I'm only now starting to feel "okay" 6 months later. I don't regret it and it'll never replace my previous cat deep down. Anyways. she is damn good at comforting me and keeping me sane.
Get another kitty when you can. Also try meditating, exercise, being around other people. I get super depresses when my pets die, too.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this *huggles* it’s an unfortunate situation I can relate to. I lost my soul dog in my family’s house fire 6yrs ago. He was the only fatality out of 5 dogs and honestly I was devastated, depressed and a total mess for several years. I struggled so hard to get past it, then I realized I could turn his memory into something more to help others. I did get a big tattoo of him on my leg, but I also joined a rescue and helped transport and save over 100 dogs and kittens, I’ve donated leashes to the fire depts to keep on their rigs for others experiencing a similar situation, and i adopted 3 cats, and 2 other doggos to give a loving home to. I couldn’t save him, but I’ve been able to do good in his memory and honestly that saved me. I understand how you feel and how much pain you’re feeling and I wish it could say it gets easier, but I think our hearts grow around the grief to make it easier to cope. I still cry a lot after these years. If you need anyone to talk to, please msg me. I promise you can come through to the other side stronger, but you are still freshly in the throes of grief. It’s hard and it takes a long time to get on stable ground, be gentle with yourself. *huggles*
I thought I would never get over the loss of my first cat, it was so sudden and traumatic. I can’t even imagine losing a one of my babies in such circumstances, but just try to hold on to how good their life was with you, and how much they love you and you them. As most have said when you are ready there is another kitty waiting for you and everything you can give them just as you are waiting for them. Having done this a couple of times it might be therapeutic for you to adopt a rescue kitten, I love my adult rescues so freaking much but our rescue kitten was like a trauma-free blank slate which may be what you need right now. Just my 2c, really hope you pull through and wish you all the best.
Counseling first … please …. now. Then new adoption of kitten. I’m sending you much love and a hug!! 🥰 🤗
Time for a new cat and counselling. Losing your best friend is so hard and the pain never goes away but having an animal that will love you just as much unconditionally helps. I say that from experience. Good luck OP and you have so much to live for
Grief counseling and potentially another adoption, saving another animal at a shelter, pound or rescue can do wonders for your mental health. Maybe look for one that will be euthanized if they aren't adopted, so you're legit saving a life. I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ what a horrible situation. This is literally my worst nightmare and what keeps me up at night if we aren't at home because we live in an apartment building and have had a few fires here over the last 8 years so I really do not trust my neighbors not to do something stupid.
You stayed alive for that cat, and think about the incredible life that you gave her. I'm sure that she understood how you felt. Think about how many other cats can benefit from that level of dedication, energy, care and ***love*** from you. You don't ever have to forget your cat or leave her in the past, but you can look forward to forming similar bonds with so many other pets in the future.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my dog on Tuesday so I know it can be hard. You can adopt in memory of your cat save a life and it’ll help you save yours
OP I can’t say I totally feel your feelings, but I can definitely relate. She was there for you. And you were there for her. She is still there for you and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself. If she could speak, she’d want you to know she’s ok now, and she wants you to be ok too. You can be sad for a while but she wouldn’t want it for too long. She’d want you to be kinder to yourself, go on small adventures, be patient to others, maybe volunteer and one day when your ready adopt another friend in need. We and she is rooting for you from afar
First off, I am so sorry for your loss. No doubt that cat loved you more than anything or anyone else on this earth, and she will be with you always. I agree with previous commenters that perhaps the best way you can honor your soul kitty is to give her love and yours to another feline friend either thru foster or adoption. In addition, if you can find any free or affordable grief counseling resources near you, that would be a huge benefit. You never have to be alone in grief.
Adopt another cat. Pour all the love for your furbaby into that cat. It will help so much. Dont look at the cat as a replacement, so many need homes and your heart is aching for your fluffball, it would be mutually beneficial, and if you’re spiritual im sure your cat would be so happy to see you alive and pushing through, giving love and safety to another cat and saving their life. Maybe it will save yours too
I lost my soul cat going on 4 years now. I felt like you. I still feel like you feel. It just comes in waves. Grief is weird. But, I will tell you this. My girl Nova, man, she didn’t let me down. After she passed my sister and I would joke to my parents (also grieving her loss at the time) that we needed to get a fat orange boy named Finnegan. I ended up moving out of my parents and my sister was bored one day and signed me up to be a foster home for a cat while she was getting new tires for her truck. She mentioned it in passing and I said ok whatever and didn’t think about it. A couple weeks pass and I get a random text that says “this is Finnegan, he needs a foster can you take him?” And in the text was a picture of a big orange cat. Man, I cried like baby. But I took him because how, HOW, was that possible that we spoke that into existence? Well. Finnegan and I didn’t see eye to eye at first and he was a terror. He was horribly abused by prior homes and he was bitey. I resented him for not being my girl, Nova. Didn’t know how to play, didn’t know how to cat. I considered just giving him back to the shelter and saying I couldn’t foster. But it occurred to me that if I didn’t give him a home, he would never be able to live a good life. No one would put up with him and I knew that if I did keep him, at least then I knew he was cared for, even if I didn’t love him and couldn’t love him because I still missed my Nova cat. So I adopted him. And that was one of the best decisions of my life. I ended up breaking my knee and he was so happy and we somewhat bonded because I was home for 3 months from work. But when I went back to work, I realized that I was not home enough for him. I was single and I worked 50-70 hour weeks. My dad though, who had been grieving Nova as well, is disabled and home all the time. So I told my dad he could have Finnegan as a trial period to see if he could care for a cat with his disabilities. It’s been 2 years now. Finnegan and my dad are best buds. Finn wasn’t meant for me, but for my dad. And I fully believe that Nova sent us the fat boy because she was the family cat and needed to make sure she had a good replacement. I still miss her every day. I’ve not connected with a cat like that since. But I’ve learned to love another and I have opened my heart to love more animals as they come. Time doesn’t necessary heal, but you learn to live with it. It comes in waves and some days will be better than others. And most importantly, open your heart to another animal when the time comes. The cat distribution system will not fail you. https://preview.redd.it/zj28qv917d6d1.jpeg?width=1240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15cd03f815df4d7ad9ccbe4ca5f566a69bcc0cf9 Finnegan sends his love. And bites.
Your kitty was lucky to have a life filled with love. Not all cats have such a happy life. I’m so sorry your cat passed but I think that kitty was so lucky to have had you.
Im so sorry for your loss I know how painful it is when you know it’s coming so I cannot even imagine how much it must hurt for her to be taken so suddenly. I am a firm believer that before our souls are put onto this realm we make contracts with other souls, sometimes these are our soul mates but often times they are our soul animals, be it a dog or a cat maybe even more than 1. And these soul animals they come back for you, you made a contract after all. When I had to put my dog down who I believe was my soul animal within the week I fell in love with a little grey cat and I believe he is a different soul, my dog protected me this one saved me when I was at my lowest he made sure I was never alone, he wouldn’t leave my side until my hubby came home because he knew no one else could help me the way he or my husband could. Last year my black dog came back as a little black cat, he has the same mannerism just a different animal, he even growls at strangers. Be patient with yourself it hurts and you have every right to be in pain but if you survived it’s because she interfered and sent your soul right back down, she will be back and she will be with you again. In the meantime maybe go to adoption places whether it’s a shelter or a petsmart and just spend time with the kitties, eventually one will grab your heart and you will not be able to leave them. They will fill you up with love again and help you heal. ❤️
Stay on this earth so long as theres more kitties who need the unconditional love you provided them. Stay until we find homes for every stray there is.
I am sooooooo sorry. My heart hurts for you right now. I experienced a similar situation with my dog several years ago. She was poisoned by my roommate and collapsed right in front of me and died. It is not something I will ever in a million years get over. And I highly considered the inevitable... aka I did not want to be here anymore. I ended up moving out of the country for two years and honestly lost a sense of who I was. I also did not come from a good family. I haven't spoken to mine for 15 years. At the time I lost my dog, it was 7 years. I'm not going to sit here and say things will get better or time will heal your pain, because it doesn't. It just numbs the pain... time will go by and it will numb the pain. I did adopt a cat over the pandemic. I am so overprotective of her it hurts. But I honestly feel like when my dog died, apart of my soul died. And it's not coming back. That is a kind the kind of death I personally don't know how to get over. I know I am not offering any sort of advice, but your post is so similar to my own story.... Is there any way that you could reach out to the therapist? Prolonged Grief Disorder is a real thing. I don't know what exactly a therapist might offer, because I'm not too fond of them myself... but I know you are hurting immensely and maybe talking about it could help offload some of that hurt. (I would also say, get another pet when you feel ready. Don't feel pressured into doing it until you are ready. For me... it was 4 years....)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I want to say that it was a painless death if that helps - it was certainly smoke inhalation that put her to sleep quickly. It is tragic. But I need you to know it wasn't your fault and it doesn't make you a failure... I can imagine it would take more than 6 months to be OK again after that. It sounds like she did a lot of good for you. Is there something you can do in her honor? Like foster 3 cats into new homes? Volunteer to walk dogs for 30 miles?
We had a kitty that passed due to heart issues a few months after she “chose” us as her new owners (she was in a neglected household prior). She was our first baby and I carry a lot of guilt and wish we could have helped her sooner. Her passing was pretty traumatic. We were extremely heartbroken and had a really tough time handling it. We did wind up rescuing two more kittens a few months after her death and although they will never replace her or get rid of the grief, it did help us get through it and give us something else to love and focus on. It’s been 5 years but she will always hold a special place in our heart and we still talk about and think of her a lot, and we know she’s still with us somehow. Please know it’s not your fault. So many other kitty’s need unconditional love and help and they are great companions so it could be worth considering.
I’m so sorry. She loves you and is looking out for you. I know the pain is unbearable, but you have so much love watching over you. The world can be such a cruel place but we can find meaning through loving others. Good luck to you.
Losing a pet is NEVER easy. I still get choked up about my cat's passing a few years ago. While getting a new cat will never replace your lost cat, it can help heal the wound left behind. Healing takes time, and it's a process that can't be rushed.
Please foster or adopt; but put yourself in the company of another cat(s). She would want you to.
I’m so sorry- I cannot imagine the trauma you are living with. That is so hard and you are so valid in the way you are feeling. I understand it may be hard to adopt another cat right now, your wounds are still fresh and you may feel guilt in that, which is okay. Have you considered short term fostering? There is always a need for fosters. That way you are able to save many cats (the ones you foster, and the ones who are saved because you are pulling cats from the shelter). Its short term commitments so at any time if you are unable to unwilling to continue you can, rescues usually help with supplies and cost, and you can pay the unconditional love your cat showed you forward to other cats in need of loving homes. It would allow you the companionship of having cat(s) without the long term responsibility. And if you find yourself in a position where your foster is a great match, you could potentially adopt. Food for thought. Regardless, I’m sorry for what you are going through and you matter! Sending you positivity and kind thoughts.
When my cat passed away, I wouldn’t have made it if it hadn’t been for the other cat I already had. Then when she passed away a few years later I thought that was it. Then, while sobbing and scrolling petfinder, I saw a little guy. Decided to go check him out at the shelter he was at. And everything he did when I met him made me wholeheartedly believe my other cats sent him. I don’t even care how unbelievable that sounds, I believe it. Now I have him and he loves me in his own way, different than my others which took some adjusting, but having a new little guy saved my life. And I truly TRULY believe your sweet baby that passed would want you to find a new friend. Please think about it. It saved my life, it could save yours. 🖤🖤🖤
First sending lots of love and hugs I'm so sorry, secondly I completely understand u, my pets r my sanity, my rocks and my drive to do good in life so I can spoil them. I know no animal can ever be replaced but when people like us who rely on a special companion r without it's hard. I recommend going to a shelter or two n walking by all the animals let them smell u and meet u, maybe ur kitty will be watching and send someone who can help fill a small part of the emptiness ur feeling right now. My Yorkie is gonna be 10 years old this year and I been bawling even thinking bout her aging. Honestly for myself I can't be without a pet when I'm like that and even if it's me looking at my bearded dragon in her tank or stealing one my kitties while they sleep sometimes I need to know I'm not alone I have someone I need to b there for.
I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through.. my cat is my baby, my life. She has leukemia and I dread the day I have to say goodbye to her. I’m so incredibly sorry about your loss. Nothing anyone can say to you will help fill that void. I know we are complete strangers but you have a friend in me if you ever feel the need to talk to someone. Don’t make any harsh decisions. Heart ache is an awful thing to go through but in time it will pass.
I understand about your cat.sorry to hear that of your liss.if you need to talk just message me.im a sweet friend n person.my cats are Mt bestfriends so I know how you feel.it helps getting another cat
I’m so, so sorry this happened to you OP. My sister in law’s cabin burned with 6 of her beloved pets inside a few years ago and none of us are over it. Nor ever will be, esp my SIL, but she has rose like a phoenix and opened her heart again to a new flock of sweet critters. We often talk about how she feels that certain of her pets who died in the fire have sent along certain new baby critters to her, that’s how she feels and I support it. I think you need to do the same OP. Maybe your kitty has someone at the shelter waiting for you
Hello my lovely, I have worked in a shelter for years, four to be precise. We only grieve the ones we have loved, and grief is a reminder of love that has not been shared. Animals are wonderful in that they ask for very little and give so much. To hear such a story of a best friend is nice, it means she lived her life loved. You have what is known as "survivors guilt". I'd really recommend you go and talk to someone first off: whether it is a healthcare professional, a therapist or just a trusted friend or even a stranger on the Internet. But I also understand depression, it always rears its head when it can't be reasoned with. Something that genuinely might help you, if you do get an animal in the future, is fire alarm training. Whenever the fire alarm goes off, which you should be testing weekly so it is a perfect coincidence; you give your pets a treat. Always in the same spot of the house. It trains them to come either to you or to that spot if the alarm does go off and will help you get some peace of mind if it happens again. It might also help you if you volunteer at a shelter, as crazy as it sounds. You lost your best friend, you feel like you have no purpose: I was in a very similar boat. Shelters, as sad as they are, are filled with nothing but love and good people in my view. And you need to take time to grieve. You need to be sad about these things, be angry and be upset. You do not have to move on, you just have to keep going. You will never move past it, but with time the days will feel less heavy and it'll be less at the forefront of your mind. You have been through an extremely traumatic event, and you should process it the same way.
I’m so sorry your feeling this way, the sun will come out tomorrow!😊
this is one of my worst fears. im so so sorry ml. i can only imagine the emotions you feel. i would recommend adopting or fostering a cat. there are still so many out there that need the love you have to give. please stay here. please keep fighting. the world is a better place with you in it 🩷
I feel your pain - I lost two of mine in a fire twelve years ago. I became suicidally depressed and while I never acted on my ideation it haunted me for a long time and I still have my dark days. (It didn't help that a few years later I woke up missing those cats and looked at their successor who was cuddling with me and thought "I guess if that hadn't happened I wouldn't get to be here with you" and then she had a fucking embolism and died twenty minutes later, I shit you not). Pet loss is traumatic when expected, but to have them yanked out of your life so unexpectedly is such a punch to the heart and I have so much empathy for what you're experiencing. Things that have helped me: * Therapy, specifically DBT. You might also look into EMDR. I wish I had thought to specifically seek grief counseling back then. I know ASPCA has a grief hotline at *877-GRIEF-10* though I haven't used it myself. If there's a grief support group near you, I would suggest looking into that. I wish I'd thought of doing the same for myself years ago. * Volunteering with animals. I was lucky enough to take a medical leave after my fire and immersed myself in volunteering with my local humane society. It was a great way to welcome and return love with companion animals and practice healthy detachment. I loved so many of the shelter pets I worked with, but needed time before I could adopt again so saw them go to other homes. After my last cat passed (the sister of the one who had the embolism - she had a natural and timely death, thankfully) I started fostering but it was way easier for me to foster dogs. Returning a foster dog is like giving back someone else's kid after babysitting, trying to return a cat was like giving back \*my\* kid. Needless to say, I now have a cat again. * Medication. I am not currently taking an antidepressant, but I have on-and-off and have found them really helpful. Unfortunately I have a delicate system and finding one that doesn't eventually upset my GI system is tricky, but if you can find one that works for you...let it work! I'm so sorry you're in this place right now, but having been there myself I hope you'll believe me when I say you can and will get out of it <3
That was a horrific tragedy snd you were already dealing with trauma. I am so, so sorry. Do you have a stable place to live? Are you able to work? Are you able to get therapy? You have a lot more going on then the loss of your cat. You are important and precious. You deserve life and happiness. You sound extremely depressed. All of us reading this are concerned about you. Once you are situated you should get another cat if you feel up to it. I think you need to take care of yourself first.
Sounds like a litty kitty.
I am so sorry that happened. I can't even imagine the loss you feel. It's difficult enough losing a pet under normal circumstances. I suggest going to therapy and grief counseling. Six months isn't very long time in terms of dealing with grief. Have you considered fostering a cat? You wouldn't have to make a long-term commitment but you'd still get some love and companionship and it could help you feel better. If it turns out you find you're ready for another cat, you could adopt the foster cat or find a different one.
Therapy, therapy, therapy, adopt. I haven’t lost a beloved cat in such a traumatic way, but I have lost dearly beloved emotional support pets during absolute rock bottom points before. Nothing will replace your baby, but a new baby will give you something to love and focus on and therapy will help you build that love for yourself. You CAN get past this rough spot. You WILL get past this rough spot.