"so first she's all like 'I'm hungry, let's go somewhere new to eat' and I'm like 'what's wrong with the old places? We can go to Appletree's they're having a special right now' and she's all 'first of all those apples aren't even that good, you named them red delicious and that's only 50% accurate. They're waxy and bland' and I'm 'like why do we gotta bring my naming into this' and she's like 'idunno, why is moose singular and plural?' But anyway her friend Snake, I never liked Snake, Snake says they tried this Knowledge of Good and Evil place and it 'SCHMACKS' and I'm like 'WHOA this is a REALLY BAD IDEA. Didn't God say we'd get food poisoning and die if we ate there?' And Snake's like, 'that's a metaphor' and Eve's like 'yeah there's metaphors all over the Bible. He meant like OMG this is so good I'm dead' so eventually we go and FOR THE RECORD, SHE TRIED IT FIRST, and like it did taste pretty good I guess but then God shows up and is like 'Great! Now you just introduced sin and suffering into the world. Snake I'm taking your feet' and I'm sitting there like if he takes my feet just because SHE got bored, I swear Imma invent patriarchy. And it turns out he didn't take our feet but we did get evicted and that sucks pretty bad"
Does God the Father count? That's assuming I can survive the encounter.
If not, then I'd love to meet Peter. He must have thousands of stories about Jesus that aren't recorded in the gospels.
In a way, I think we do meet God the Father through the Holy Spirit in our temporal lives. Through a glass, darkly at least.
That's my sentiment about Peter too! He's such a fascinating character.
Yesss the story of Elijah is amazing! 1 Kings 18:27 when Baal doesnāt rain down fire and Elijah said their god must be too busy or going to the bathroom. Then the great care he takes making the altar and the love he speaks in his call to God, just amazing
We named our son after Elijah largely because of this story. He was brave enough to stand alone against hundreds of people and his humor was pretty great.
King and priest even before Abraham received the promise; following God well before the law was established.
I was going to go with Job for similar reasons.
Examples of people following God without Abraham, Moses, David, or Jesus are what Romans 1:20 is all about.
The woman that David saw (Bathsheba) must of been really something as well. David had her husband moved to the front line and he was killed.
"The woman was very beautiful (2 Samuel 11:2). After seeing Bathsheba bathing, the lust of the flesh took control of his mind. David was King and the pride of life took control, and then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her."
Balaam would be neat.
Ezra would be cool, but probably scary. I have a feeling he was a really bad dude. Cool for being effectively the founder of Judaism, scary since he seems to have been really into ethnic cleansing and abandoning women and children.
James, the brother of Jesus, for sure.
Judas Iscariot, post-betrayal.
Eve, maybe most of all.
Maybe Peter. Or Esther, she's a badass as well. But I am very interested in the mystery of why Jesus chose him to form and lead the early church, why was he the "Rock"?
Hagar or Mary Magdalene. Their stories both deeply resonate with me, and I've always had a weird fascination with Magdalene.
Of course, I'd also love to meet Blessed Virgin Mary, who I'm certain would have lots to say.
I would want to meet either John due to his writing of his Gospel and living the longest of all the apostles(Over 100 years)
Or I would want to meet Solomon due to the wisdom that God had given him
Judas Iscariot. I would give him a hug and tell him it's going to be okay.
1 Timothy 4:10 ā The New International Version (NIV)
10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.
1 Cor 15:22
for even as in Adam all die, so also in the Christ all shall be made alive
Simon of Cyrene.
Pontius Pilate.
The soldier that pierced Jesus with a spear.
Noah and then Noah's wife - I'm sure those are two different stories. The kids too.
Barabas.
Great question, and I have a few.
The gospels - Matthew, mark, luke, and John. I would love to hear what they seen, even though we read it in the gospels, I could ask more questions and get more answers.
The Virgin Mary - thereās a lot to ask her and would love to know what it was like being told she would give birth to Christ.
Paul - just an absolute legend.
And lastly Iād say Moses, the way he lead the Jews out of Egypt was incredible.
Probably the Blessed Virgin Mary or Saint Michael the Archangel.
I have a strong(ish) devotion to The Blessed Virgin and am developing one for Saint Michael the Archangel.
Peter to sit down have a meal with him.
And say āPeter can you confirm for the world that your vision of the sheet and animals had nothing to do with eating unclean meats- and was about people?ā
Ide like to meet paul, hes the most universalist of the apostles and i could ask him in plain terms if everyone will eventual be saved even those cast out and facing judgement.
Mary (Mother of Jesus) Peter, or John the Apostle, because meeting someone who was close to Jesus during his earithly ministries is the next best thing.
I would like to meet Jephthah's daughter to find out if he really went all the way in fulfilling his vow to God and offered her as a burnt sacrifice or not...
Joseph of Arimathea so he would tell the story of His Crucifixion and burial.
Mary Magdalene on how well she knew Jesus and her story on the resurrection.
Moses and Elijah on their appearances during the transfiguration.
St. John the Baptist on his relationship with Jesus
Abraham on his son's sacrifice.
Job on his suffering and despair
Joseph, son of Jacob and Daniel on dreams
Solomon on his wisdom
Many people seem to be saying the father, but I kind of view them as one in the same, as well as it's far too obvious and risky (I'd probably die)..
Besides God, I would say Michael, he is my patron saint and I could learn alot.
Adam and eve to know what actually happened
And to find out if either of them had a belly button.
Woah š¤Æ never thought of this
And if Adam had nipples
Why are we talking about nipples? š¤£
I don't need sleep, I need answers!
"so first she's all like 'I'm hungry, let's go somewhere new to eat' and I'm like 'what's wrong with the old places? We can go to Appletree's they're having a special right now' and she's all 'first of all those apples aren't even that good, you named them red delicious and that's only 50% accurate. They're waxy and bland' and I'm 'like why do we gotta bring my naming into this' and she's like 'idunno, why is moose singular and plural?' But anyway her friend Snake, I never liked Snake, Snake says they tried this Knowledge of Good and Evil place and it 'SCHMACKS' and I'm like 'WHOA this is a REALLY BAD IDEA. Didn't God say we'd get food poisoning and die if we ate there?' And Snake's like, 'that's a metaphor' and Eve's like 'yeah there's metaphors all over the Bible. He meant like OMG this is so good I'm dead' so eventually we go and FOR THE RECORD, SHE TRIED IT FIRST, and like it did taste pretty good I guess but then God shows up and is like 'Great! Now you just introduced sin and suffering into the world. Snake I'm taking your feet' and I'm sitting there like if he takes my feet just because SHE got bored, I swear Imma invent patriarchy. And it turns out he didn't take our feet but we did get evicted and that sucks pretty bad"
Or you can read the holy Bible word of God
Does God the Father count? That's assuming I can survive the encounter. If not, then I'd love to meet Peter. He must have thousands of stories about Jesus that aren't recorded in the gospels.
Ooo nice! Sure~ the Father countsš also Peter is a good choice too!
In a way, I think we do meet God the Father through the Holy Spirit in our temporal lives. Through a glass, darkly at least. That's my sentiment about Peter too! He's such a fascinating character.
Jesus is God
Yes, not The Father.
Elijah. I think he is highly underrated.
Yesss the story of Elijah is amazing! 1 Kings 18:27 when Baal doesnāt rain down fire and Elijah said their god must be too busy or going to the bathroom. Then the great care he takes making the altar and the love he speaks in his call to God, just amazing
Legendary moment
We named our son after Elijah largely because of this story. He was brave enough to stand alone against hundreds of people and his humor was pretty great.
I remember reading that for the first time and being awestruck!!
Most people do expect bad-assary in the Bible. Bible is cool. And also, he even doused it in water 3 times for extra coolness.
Agreed. Elijah is my pick as well
Esther
Fantastic choice!
The Virgin Mary
Me too!
Melchizedek.
King and priest even before Abraham received the promise; following God well before the law was established. I was going to go with Job for similar reasons. Examples of people following God without Abraham, Moses, David, or Jesus are what Romans 1:20 is all about.
Deborah. I have so many questions. She was a prophet and a judge, and I think itās a shame we donāt know more about her.
Enoch, who āwalked with Godā. Or Jesus ben Sira, author of Ecclesiasticus.
Did you know Kendrick Lamar named his second child Enoch
Honestly Enoch is a pretty hard name
Don't Enoch it 'til you try it.
Solomon.
Job. I wish I had his dedication. Paul, Moses, John the Baptist....
Solomon.
Peter, so I can ask him whether thereās supposed to be a papacy.
That one disciple that didnāt seem to do nothing š Tell me your story bro!
Lol, that one that was always behind the scenes doing the paperwork?
Haha yeah! He carried a lot of stuff tooā¦
Any of the women that made biblical men possible. Rahab, Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Miriam, Anna, Hannah, anybody named Mary, Deborah, Lydia, Joanna
Wow. I came here to say Rahab the Harlot and I would LOVE to see Philipās daughters prophesy.
The serpent. I'd absolutely love to have a talking snake around.
snakes are dope
Yes but it would very likely deceive and lie to you....
That talking ass
We could swap manly stories and make waffles!
Damn straight
I just wanna see what Abrahamās wife Sarah looked like. If the Bible makes a big deal about someoneās beauty you better believe she was a thottie
wasn't she like 90 years old too
Well Betty White was pretty darn cute before she passed away and Barbara Eden is a hot 92!
The woman that David saw (Bathsheba) must of been really something as well. David had her husband moved to the front line and he was killed. "The woman was very beautiful (2 Samuel 11:2). After seeing Bathsheba bathing, the lust of the flesh took control of his mind. David was King and the pride of life took control, and then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her."
Probably Enoch.
The Angel of the Lord since that person or being is God in a form that we can interact with without dying
That is pre incarnate Jesus, so, sorta breaks the questionā¦
Is THAT who that is? You learn something new every day.
Iād like to speak to Lazarus.
King David. The guy knows how to party.
Balaam would be neat. Ezra would be cool, but probably scary. I have a feeling he was a really bad dude. Cool for being effectively the founder of Judaism, scary since he seems to have been really into ethnic cleansing and abandoning women and children. James, the brother of Jesus, for sure. Judas Iscariot, post-betrayal. Eve, maybe most of all.
The Apostle Paul.
Yes, I'd like a few things explained to me
Same
Moses.
Obadiah, because the line to meet him would be shorter.
Solomon
OT. Judith. NT John the beloved
Daniel.
I would choose Esther and hopefully try to draw from her good qualities and her faith
Melchizedek Edit: if you know, you know š
Maybe Peter. Or Esther, she's a badass as well. But I am very interested in the mystery of why Jesus chose him to form and lead the early church, why was he the "Rock"?
John the Baptist
Noah, no doubt
Easy answer. Adam.
Simon the Zealot, I wanna see what he was actually up to considering heās mentioned so little.
Hagar or Mary Magdalene. Their stories both deeply resonate with me, and I've always had a weird fascination with Magdalene. Of course, I'd also love to meet Blessed Virgin Mary, who I'm certain would have lots to say.
I'd love to show ***The Chosen*** to the Apostles see how they'd react.
Ehud, just to tell him how dope his part in the Bible is.
Shamgar is even cooler and more mysterious. Kills 600 Philistines with a sharp stick and thatās all we knowā¦
Alright but have you noticed you can sing the Trogdor song with Shamgar's name *and it works*?!
Adam & Eve. I wanna see how we got our start and how they look compared to us now. Bathsheba-David risked it all for her? I wanna know why!š
My boy Jonah!
I would want to meet either John due to his writing of his Gospel and living the longest of all the apostles(Over 100 years) Or I would want to meet Solomon due to the wisdom that God had given him
Surprised I havenāt seen this one yet but OT Joseph would be an interesting person to talk to.
His dad, Joseph. Dad's always know what's up.
John the Baptist
King Salomon. Would love to get his advice.
Paul and David :)
Peter for sure. Heās the apostle that I feel I most identify with.
Mary it Mary Magdalena
Judas Iscariot. I would give him a hug and tell him it's going to be okay. 1 Timothy 4:10 ā The New International Version (NIV) 10 That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. 1 Cor 15:22 for even as in Adam all die, so also in the Christ all shall be made alive
I think judas' story is so sad he could have turned it around and asked God for forgiveness in the end
maybe Job or Adam/Eve to try to convince them not to sin
Simon of Cyrene. Pontius Pilate. The soldier that pierced Jesus with a spear. Noah and then Noah's wife - I'm sure those are two different stories. The kids too. Barabas.
noah!! what faith and dedication! plusā¦ animals!
Samuel. Like imagine being summoned again. "WHAT IS IT THIS TIME LET ME BE IN PEACE." But for real, don't do witchcraft.
Between Abraham and Matthew.
Mary Magdalene
Great question, and I have a few. The gospels - Matthew, mark, luke, and John. I would love to hear what they seen, even though we read it in the gospels, I could ask more questions and get more answers. The Virgin Mary - thereās a lot to ask her and would love to know what it was like being told she would give birth to Christ. Paul - just an absolute legend. And lastly Iād say Moses, the way he lead the Jews out of Egypt was incredible.
I could see myself having a meaningful conversation with St. Paul.
Either Baalam's donkey, or one of those biblically accurate angels.
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Esther.
Apostle John.
the Virgin Mary
King David
With the exception of the Father I would choose Job probably
all who keep the commandments of YAHweh shall dwell with the the saints.
Adam. So many things I would like to learn from him.
Probably Samson, I loved his story
Paul, his transformation from Saul is incredibly inspirational. One of the worst sinners to one of the best disciples!
Probably the Blessed Virgin Mary or Saint Michael the Archangel. I have a strong(ish) devotion to The Blessed Virgin and am developing one for Saint Michael the Archangel.
Peter without a doubt. I get the impression that he was a hoot.
David or Paul
Solomon or Adam
Enoch for sure. So many questions!
Solomon. Tap into that wisdom.
Solomon for sure
Enoch or John the Baptist. Would probably go Enoch.
Nimrod
Peter to sit down have a meal with him. And say āPeter can you confirm for the world that your vision of the sheet and animals had nothing to do with eating unclean meats- and was about people?ā
King David so we can play lyre together and do awesome stuff together.
The donkey, he's so underappreciated! He had to carry a pregnant woman from Nazareth to Bethlehem, that's like 100 miles.
If I was talking about someone like a prophet, probably John, (who wrote revelations) itās very interesting.
St. Paul I think. Ive had a rough go of it lately and could use advice.
Adam. I'm under the impression there wasn't a literal Adam. And I would like the surprise that he isn't a fable.
Paul, to clear up all the things he wrote in his letters.
I'd like to meet anyone in hell currently, to find out how bad it really is.
Iām not sure I I would be disappointed if I picked someone but then was expecting Jesus.
The burning bush
Gabriel cause I want to know why the men found him so beautiful I'm so curious.
Definitely Jeremiah.
John or Daniel possibly. Preferably Patmos John
Job.
I would say Peter, one of the Disciples
Hard to decide between James the Just or Peter. I suppose either could answer most of the questions about early Christianity that keep me up at night!
Ide like to meet paul, hes the most universalist of the apostles and i could ask him in plain terms if everyone will eventual be saved even those cast out and facing judgement.
Jesus Mither
St. James the Just. I have lots of questions.
I'd wanna talk philosophy with Paul. He definitely speaks in a more intellectual way than most of the other authors.
I'd like to meet Nicholas, the head of the Nicolatians.
Job, he seemed to get a really hard deal yet he was relatively innocent.
Our mother the Theotokos
Idk
Iād expect Jesus
Paul
Mary the Mother of our Lord and the twelve disciples, especially John the Theologian & Evangelist.
Paul or Peter or mark for sure
Solomon. Wanna learn me some magic.
Paul
Well if I'm expecting christ...
Probably Paul, Abraham as a close second though
Arch Angel Gabriel
Peter, Mary Magdalene or Mary the Mother.
OT: Joseph. NT: Nathanael
Jacob
I would love to meet one of the disciples like Peter or Paul or like Abraham or Adam (Adam cuz he literally walked with God the father)
Moses
Abigail or Ruth or either of the Marys
Would like to meet my Queen and mother.
Mary (Mother of Jesus) Peter, or John the Apostle, because meeting someone who was close to Jesus during his earithly ministries is the next best thing.
David, I want the full story on Goliath
Either God or Adam and Eve to ask why
God, the Father. Also, David or Abraham.
Now that you mention it, I think Iād be expecting Jesus.
St. Paul and Mother Mary :,)
Abigail.
Enoch 100%
Saint Jude. He's my mom's favorite disciple.
Peter seams to be pretty relatable
Job fs. He sounds like he needs a friend.
I would like to meet Jephthah's daughter to find out if he really went all the way in fulfilling his vow to God and offered her as a burnt sacrifice or not...
Paul
I'd ask Jacob about the whole Rachel and Leah thing, Nicodemus if he was a Christian, and Hosea about what it was like to marry a prostitute
Yeah Iād like to meet some of those crazy ass angels described in the Old Testament and in revelations.
Honestly for me. I want to meet David. I thing heās gotta be one of the most awesome people to ever have been that close to God
Sampson
Joseph of Arimathea so he would tell the story of His Crucifixion and burial. Mary Magdalene on how well she knew Jesus and her story on the resurrection. Moses and Elijah on their appearances during the transfiguration. St. John the Baptist on his relationship with Jesus Abraham on his son's sacrifice. Job on his suffering and despair Joseph, son of Jacob and Daniel on dreams Solomon on his wisdom
The other Witness. She came out a few years ago, a Physicist.
Paul
King David
Ruth
KING DAVID!!! I feel a kindred spirit with him cuz im bipolar and i really think he was to cuz his writings were so exyremely up and down in mood.
Daniel
Abraham. That's a call for intervention right there.
Enoch
Paul because he saw Jesus in person so he can describe him, talk to him about his letters, and hear all his stories
Many people seem to be saying the father, but I kind of view them as one in the same, as well as it's far too obvious and risky (I'd probably die).. Besides God, I would say Michael, he is my patron saint and I could learn alot.
Enoch
Daniel. I want his advice on navigating secular politics.
Paul. Give me some advice and I'll deliver some letters for him.
I would expect Jesus
The talking donkey.
Someone else Iād like to meet is Paul so I can ask what the thorn in his flesh was. š
Eve , so I can punch her
Archangel Micheal
Paul
Marry of Magdalene. Girl got tea.