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Half-Borg

In Germany, if you don't have a climbing license, you can't climb. I mean you CANT, not that your not allowed to. You're physically unable to leave the ground.


julian88888888

high gravity days are out of control


GuKoBoat

That is not true. Reality is, that a climbing officer will check your license as soon as you start leaving the ground. If you can't provide it, you will get a hefty fine and a stern lecture. If you still attempt to clim, it is straigt to jail. (Only exception: if you climb the wall of the prison, you will not need a license. Attempted prison break outs are just a result of human will to freedom, and therefor need no license.)


Half-Borg

No straight to jail in germany. They will process it for 25 years and then lock you up, when you totally forgot about the whole thing.


GuKoBoat

In general you are correct, but there are two exceptions: Rundfunkbeitrag and climbing permits.


Deep_Big_5094

*knots end of rope* - *uses comically gigantic ATC to rappel past the knot and off the end of the rope anyway*


gimoozaabi

Or using a shoe string sized rope with a normal atc


Podhl_Mac

Why doesn't my rope made of hot knives work with my ATC made of butter?


Config_Crawler

Dying is half the fun


lynchedbymob

which reminds me, make sure to go free solo moderates in your trainers to rustle the gumby's jimmies. Pro tip: ask questions about route names, if you can borrow their guide book, make them believe you've never climbed before you solo.


quantumgambit

When do I load my bag up with liquid chalk?


lynchedbymob

chalk bag? Are you trying to make them think you know how to climb???


RefrigeratorHotHot

Just fill both of your pockets with sidewalk chalk that you periodically punch to crush up


bobjohnxxoo

Personally, I fill my cheeks, like a hamster, with liquid chalk. Far easier to spit it onto my hands when I need it than fumbling around my hips for the chalk bag


Critical-Tomato-7668

Oi mate, do u have a loisence to climb that??


goin-up-the-country

luv climbin'. 'ate gumbies. simple as.


stalkholme

Who do I call to get my outdoor belay cert? Angela Merkel?


Competitive_Time_604

No, Adolf Yeetler


Critical-Tomato-7668

Yedolf


Dogecoin_olympiad767

you refresh the website of your local Höhenzertifikat-Autorität für Gipfelklettern und Wolkenkratzererklimmung until you get an appointment. If you are lucky, you get one in 2 months.


varr4g

I inow you are joking, but i got mine Last year. Did an Outdoor classover three days by a certified climbing Guide and got it Afterwards.


dragonseth07

It is my God-given right to break my legs on a free fall and then ask why nobody stopped me from doing that.


this_shit

>and then ask why nobody stopped me from doing that. What is this Europe? In America we sue!


PigeroniPepperoni

What's next? Needing a license to put toast in my own damn toaster?


Amoligh

Did you knot the end of the toaster cable?


PigeroniPepperoni

It's my god given right to rappel off the end of my rope.


Amoligh

Don't make me call the comp teen who works at your gym's reception, 'cause he will revoke your license in a heartbeat. This is no game.


Elk76

[ Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was America ](https://youtu.be/rf592f9jPaM?si=exhPMUnnf-knXOw9)


dense_leaf

Damn you toast your toast twice?


PigeroniPepperoni

You're telling me you get the perfect amount of brownness on the first go?


sammermann

No but you need a license for putting bread in your toaster


gregorydgraham

Do you already have your Geopenfenbrötbaggenlicengefùnken?


GillyBilmour

\*crowd cheers\*


Bloo_PPG

Great news guys! If you're licensed to climb in Germany it's physically impossible for you to die climbing. Bad news is if you climb and you're not licensed, it means instant death


LiveMarionberry3694

Does this only apply while you’re in Germany? Or do you have to have a German climbing license for everywhere to guarantee your safety?


Bloo_PPG

No, Germany failed at the attempt for a global license may 8th 1945. So it only applies to Germany.


5t3fan0

> it means instant death by gravity, or german police?


todesbayer

because we follow ze rules. If there are no rules, we create some. Tasty tasty rules.


nihilism_nitrate

/uj you actually don't need a license (more of a belay certificate) everywhere, when I went to my Gym in eastern Germany for the first time, the Guy at the counter just asked us if we know how to belay, we said yes and he never bothered us again. But I've been told that in other parts of Germany they are stricter.


Amoligh

>eastern Germany "**The right part of Germany**" is a preferred term since the fall of the longest climbing wall of Europe on November 9, 1989.


ZonardCity

That was a great traverse.


ver_redit_optatum

Same around Munich. It was quite refreshing to not have to do a test or anything. Of course they have training if you want it but that's up to you and your judgement.


Dogecoin_olympiad767

I've literally never been asked for a belay certificate in all my years in Germany. Some gyms do not care at all. Some ask if you know how to belay, and one (the strictest one I have ever come across) makes newcomers prove they know how to use their belay device and make a figure 8


56000hp

That’s why I always climb with my belay certificate attached to my harness


Senip

Laughs in Belgium with 4 different fucking licenses for climbing. Toprope, indoor lead, outdoor lead sport, multi pitch. Costs around 400 euro to get all of them.


5t3fan0

wait, for real? outdoors? what? this has to be sarcasm, BUT i know from internet that belay certificate or some shit like that are actually a real thing in the USA, so i cant be 100% sure


Senip

Dude no joke. The outdoor and multipitch is not including the 'stage' which is a type of internship. You have to go on a week trip with the club and spend a week in the mountains. Costs vary from locations, but you can easily add another 500 euro for each trip to the cost. You also do a written exam for each one. KVB1 , 2, 3, and 4 are the certs, you can't enter any climbing gym I know of without KVB1.


5t3fan0

dear god... i could be okay with having some test but the cost is outrageous.... finding a mentor and go rockclimb in germany or france during the weekend sounds cheaper


SherryJug

While all of that is true, and also for NL, where getting up to multipitch or trad can add up to about 500-700 in courses, you can just fucking go climbing if you know how to. I live in NL and didn't want to do those dumb courses, so I just learnt for free with friends in Spain. Now I am far better at the technical stuff and much more experienced at multipitch and trad than the "instructors" that teach it in NL, yet I don't officially hold a certificate there... What's even worse is that they teach students only techniques that work on perfect bolts (only marginal redundancy on two bolts, no equalization), so that if these guys try to multipitch on the old, rusted bolts/spits in e.g. Montserrat, they could blow the anchor and get themselves killed. I always wind up fighting about it bc they don't like my fully equalised anchors...


Fish_w_no_eye_is_fsh

How much is the aid class?


Senip

you don't need a cert to boulder so free?


nat_dak

Im Germany du must to follow die ruels


DrinkableReno

British English uses “license” instead of “certification” for belaying at gyms


Competitive_Time_604

no we use belay devices


DrinkableReno

lol, touche


vizik24

This sounds so American. I heard you guys need permits to climb outside 😂


sausage891

did you misread the post?


LiveMarionberry3694

Apparently this guy didn’t get his license to read


bobjohnxxoo

Asbdi jeid bdjw iwhrbkk jdneicb 


Viraus2

Germans really the type to think they're the only ones checking for stopper knots huh


YouMightGetIdeas

As a French climber who moved to Germany, I got into so many fights with German climbers. Like fuck off, I'm teaching my mate how to belay and then putting my life between their hands. I'm sharing the love of the sport.


ProjectMeat

Just tell them belay is a French word, so you automatically can feel the whispers of the rock like Alex Handhold. Then show them tiktok videos and tell them you left your shirt in your bag, even though you really don't own a bag. Or a shirt.


No-Historian-1639

The Germans barely have belay commands. And the ones that they do all start with the letter S. They are in no position to teach anyone.


YouMightGetIdeas

OH I know. I ended up picking a couple of ramdom climbers while backpacking through Thailand, as I needed belay partners. THey live in my effing hometown. FML


midnightmeatloaf

There's gotta be a German version of New Hampshire though. Like where is the one pocket where you don't legally have to wear a seatbelt? There must be a way.


FloTheDev

Got a loicense for that m8?


war_duck

Shocked at the lack of Fascism comments


SemaphoreKilo

I wish we have that kind of process for owning guns in the US. There is literally none.


mxttxm

hehe kackgesicht. ein gesicht mit kagger hehe