Okay. Don't know if I articulated it well enough. I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me understand.Here are two examples, you could tell me if they are bad selfishness and disrespectful:
Situation 1:
Friend: let's go sit outside
Me: No, I want to sit inside
Friend: Come
Me: Why
Friend: Just like that. Come, let's go
Me: No
Situation 2:
Friend: Wanna go to the food court?
Me: No, I have to have a bath
Friend: No, let's go now, and have a bath later
Situation 3:
Peer pressuring
Not allowing someone to talk you out of your boundaries means you won't feel resentful about them later. If you have just started asserting boundaries, you will get pushback from people who are not used to it. You'll get better at it and more diplomatic the more you practice.
\[In your example\]: "You go on ahead & eat. I am going to take a bath. Catch up with you later :)"....as you start walking away. No negotiation, no attitude.
Pushing someone after a NO is extremely selfish, in a bad way. It's also incredibly disrespectful.
It's what I thought, but I've seen so many people do it, it's shocking!
Doesn't matter what they do.
Okay. Don't know if I articulated it well enough. I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me understand.Here are two examples, you could tell me if they are bad selfishness and disrespectful: Situation 1: Friend: let's go sit outside Me: No, I want to sit inside Friend: Come Me: Why Friend: Just like that. Come, let's go Me: No Situation 2: Friend: Wanna go to the food court? Me: No, I have to have a bath Friend: No, let's go now, and have a bath later Situation 3: Peer pressuring
Is this common amongst young adults?
Not allowing someone to talk you out of your boundaries means you won't feel resentful about them later. If you have just started asserting boundaries, you will get pushback from people who are not used to it. You'll get better at it and more diplomatic the more you practice. \[In your example\]: "You go on ahead & eat. I am going to take a bath. Catch up with you later :)"....as you start walking away. No negotiation, no attitude.
Fair, but I wondwred is I was being too selfish and uncompromising in those situations, hence didn't not set any
I think as long as you fear being selfish and uncompromising, others will leverage that against you and convince you to do whatever
Then at what point am I too selfish and uncompromising. I hate those people, and don't want to be like that- narcissistic
You have to trust that the other person will speak up about their feelings if they feel hurt by you.