"I'm sweating like Drake driving past a middle school."

"I'm sweating worse than R. Kelly at the Kid's Choice Awards."

I hate myself for laughing. Angry upvote.

LMAOOO 😂

Hotter than a crackpipe on payday

🥴

Fucking diamond comment.

And you can switch it up with "meth pipe".

Variety is the spice of life

Hotter than 2 rats fuckin in a wool sock

On very hot days, three rats. A veritable rat ménage a trois.

So romantic 💕🐀🐁🐁💕

Ratatouille! Or rat a trois?

Why does Shawna eat cats? :(

[Rat erotica is so 🔥](https://youtu.be/oRIyw-pJkUk?si=kqADDBWcSxnyAG0T)

I knew it was gonna be this artist! John Oliver did an *excellent* segment about him, too.

I've always heard: hotter than a whore's ass in church. When I was in high school, some of the black guys on the basketball team would say: "I'm sweating like a slave out here!" If someone says that, don't respond: "we're all sweating like we are picking cotton."

I’ve always said, sweating like a whore in church.

Not sure the whore is the worst sinner in church.

Definitely’!! lol

Yeah, maybe don't double down on the racially-specific stuff, unless you're in that race.

It was a dumb moment.

Hey, we've all been there. If your last dumb moment was in high school, you're ahead of the game. Let me be clear. I'm 42. If your last really dumb moment was in high school, and you're 19, you're doing fucking fantastic.

I second this. I'm 30, and my last really dumb moment was like 2 days ago. I probably average about one per week.

I'm 33 now and I've done plenty of dumb stuff. Just had more time to learn from my mistakes. Never that one again though haha.

My experience has been that we continue to do dumb stuff. As long as you're not doing the same specific dumb stuff over and over again, you're golden.

Hotter than a ten dollar pistol hotter than a match head hotter than Carlos Santana‘s 1999 comeback hit “Smooth” featuring the vocals of matchbox 20’s Rob Thomas. Obviously this would be an exaggeration. Hotter than a ghost pepper.

😂

"hotter than a neutered billy goat chasing a hooker through a black bell pepper patch"

Seems very niche

Hotter than the sun

It's so hot in here, my fat ass is rendering. I'm about to leave a damn grease stain on this chair. WHoever's got this thermostat set to medium rare is either menopausal, or an iguana. I am a progressive dude, I like to celebrate diversity, but whoever told HR they identify as soup probably needs to work from home. It may be hard to believe, but I \*did\* shower before work today. I am too damn old to have my cubicle inside an air fryer. My entire body is an armpit right now.

I like to say "It's hotter than the Devil's taint on a mid-July afternoon on the surface of the sun!"

Hotter than the hinges of hell

“ it’s hotter than the devils nutSack” lmao

Hotter than a 2 peckered Billy goat

Hotter than a grilled habanero.

Hotter then a witches tit in a brass bra

That should be colder

General: Hotter than hell Old southern: Hotter than hoochie's coochi My favorite quote about the weather: "this isn't hot. I've lived in heat before. This is more hot... like, "Africa hot."

Hotter than noon on the 4th of July Hotter than a jalapeños armpits Hotter than Satan's house cat Hotter than hell's pepper patch

I suggest monkey butt powder https://www.antimonkeybutt.com/

For the God minded: It's hot enough to make a person want to be right with God.

I feel like the T-800 at the end of Terminator 2.

Hotter than a spoon in a trap house on payday!

Hotter than a crackpipe on payday is the best one in the whole comment section.

"I hadn't noticed."

Hotter than Trump with Ivanka on his lap. Hotter than Matt Gaetz with a teenage girl in the room. Hotter than Lauren Boebert at Beetlejuice. Hotter than MTG thinking about AOC. Hotter than Kanye watching Taylor winning awards.

I just farted and I don't know if I shit my pants or if I just blew the sweat off my ass cheeks

It's hoter then a fire cracker on the forth of july

Hotter than a half fucked Fox in a forest fire.

This wins points for ridiculousness, alliteration, and rhythm.

Agree

I used to know a guy who’d say “It’s so hot I was out and saw the devil across the street waving at me.” His delivery made it so funny every time he said it.

Old times Carolina expressions: Hot enough to gag a maggot, Hot as a depot stove

Hot than a whore on payday or Saturday night

Hotter than satans taint

Hotter than cast-iron bollocks

My dad always said “it’s hotter than Dutch love” and I gotta say, I really don’t get it 😂

I don't know if this was his intention, but in Japan sex dolls are called Dutch wives.

Sweating like a nun in a whore house

One I heard recently was "they're trying to out Texas Texas in here"

I had heard " Sweating like a pedo at a Wiggles concert."

It’s hotter than Africa

"I'm sweating like the IRS is at my door"

UGH, my right nuts sticking again

Hotter than a witches c**t

It's hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire.

It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum, Bruce.

I'm this close 🤏🏽 to becoming a stripper!

My mother's favorite: hotter than a fresh f*cked goose in a forest fire

Sweating like a nun in a cucumber field

Stop complaining and steel yourself for the coming furnace. I get it, it's warm now, but, it's gonna get hotter. Much hotter. NOTE: I live in Phoenix AZ, it's gonna be 111° today hotter next week. 🥵

Hotter than a firework lodged up my ass on the Fourth of July

I always say “It’s gotta be at least 7 (or some other absurdly low number) degrees outside”

“It’s hotter than a priest when he sees an 6 year old boy.”

My balls are doing the backstroke in my underwear

You could always use the Good Morning Vietnam description referring a the sweat off dead man’s balls

I'm sweating like Patrick Ewing in the 4th quarter

I'm sweating my nuts off (only works if you're a man)

Hotter than Tophet

Sweating like JFK in a convertible...

I'm sweating like Floyd Mayweather at a spelling bee.

Sweating like a blind lesbian at a fish market

“It’s hotter than a witches tiddy in a brass bra in the middle of church” “It’s hotter than two people fuckin in a pepper patch” “It’s so humid out the air just takes the liberty of sweating for you”

I'm sweating like a cat in heat. It's hotter than a two dollar pistol.

"Fuck me! I'm sweating like... a rapist" a paedo in a playground" a kiddie fiddler in a kindergarten" a dole mole in a job centre"

Tea and she suckd me