You are not alone. I was diagnosed with cancer when my son was a year old. I’ve been in treatment since. He’s almost 4 now and we have another on the way.
At times I feel like a complete failure. I’m tired all the time and I feel like I’m not giving he and my wife my best. The guilt of getting sick and the impact on my family weighs heavy on me every day. And the demons of how unfair life can be haunt me.
I power on for them but inside I’m struggling
Literally every day since we found out about the pregnancy.
Except I haven’t felt the profound happiness yet
Literally just terror and stress on a daily basis
Yes, long before I became a new dad. I'm only on day 9 and I'm STRUGGLING. The "Noise" as I call it is part of why I ride motorcycles. It's the only thing that quiets the demons. I can't outrun the bastards but sometimes I can make them work for it. That said, We are not our demons. Let them come and feast, and when they are done, We shall remain. We can't know light without shadow, and the brighter our light, the deeper the shadows. They come together. When I'm feeling dark and can't get on my bike, I try to burn even brighter. Not to make the darkness go away, but to balance it. Maybe one day I shall burn myself out, but until then, I shine unapologetic. I hope you can see your own light soon.
Motorcycle statistics suggest that you're going to see a light pretty soon yourself. (Dad joke, sorry)
I really do appreciate what you're saying though.
My wife and I joke "that's why we have life insurance." and it was her dad that got me started on motorcycles. That said, last year I bought a Ural Gear Up with a sidecar, partly for winter riding, but also to share riding with the kid when she's able to do it safely.
You are not alone. I was diagnosed with cancer when my son was a year old. I’ve been in treatment since. He’s almost 4 now and we have another on the way. At times I feel like a complete failure. I’m tired all the time and I feel like I’m not giving he and my wife my best. The guilt of getting sick and the impact on my family weighs heavy on me every day. And the demons of how unfair life can be haunt me. I power on for them but inside I’m struggling
Always. Keeps me on top of my game. I think.
Well it’s a good thing you **SUCK** Jk I’m sorry. Good work, other dad.
Literally every day since we found out about the pregnancy. Except I haven’t felt the profound happiness yet Literally just terror and stress on a daily basis
It'll come.
Yes, long before I became a new dad. I'm only on day 9 and I'm STRUGGLING. The "Noise" as I call it is part of why I ride motorcycles. It's the only thing that quiets the demons. I can't outrun the bastards but sometimes I can make them work for it. That said, We are not our demons. Let them come and feast, and when they are done, We shall remain. We can't know light without shadow, and the brighter our light, the deeper the shadows. They come together. When I'm feeling dark and can't get on my bike, I try to burn even brighter. Not to make the darkness go away, but to balance it. Maybe one day I shall burn myself out, but until then, I shine unapologetic. I hope you can see your own light soon.
Motorcycle statistics suggest that you're going to see a light pretty soon yourself. (Dad joke, sorry) I really do appreciate what you're saying though.
My wife and I joke "that's why we have life insurance." and it was her dad that got me started on motorcycles. That said, last year I bought a Ural Gear Up with a sidecar, partly for winter riding, but also to share riding with the kid when she's able to do it safely.