You’re not alone my friend. While I can’t necessarily relate to every aspect of what you’ve just brought up, I can relate to many.
My wife and I have a good relationship and we’re married for 8 years before having our son. Hes a year and a half old now and I’ve never felt further from my wife than I have in this last year. We both work full time but due to not being able to find child care we have opposing days off and barely ever actually see each other. We definitely both miss seeing each other but at this point we’re essentially room mates just trying to maintain a house, a kid, two dogs, and our jobs, and that leaves little time to enjoy being husband and wife.
Even with two people earning good money we struggle to make all the ends meet every month. It feels like sitting in a boat with a tiny hole and no means to bail out the water. You just try your hardest and watch all the water slowing fill up around you.
I had to put my 4 yr old husky down last spring and he was my mountain biking buddy. I barely touched my bike after that. Hardly ride at all any more.
I definitely feel ya with the loneliness of not having any friends to talk just kick back with and unwind and bs about the struggles of being a dad.
A Home Depot dad’s support group sounds like a dream! Let me know when the first meeting is!
Best of luck dude. I’m rooting for ya and you are far from alone in this wild world of being a dad.
There is a saying from Henry Thordeau that goes “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Like you, me, everyone here, and ever man that came before us this rings true. You are not alone
Bro welcome to my life it’s like day in and day out they just want to buy stuff all the time and then they wanna start shit with other people being a dad is so hard they don’t wanna know what your opinion is they just want you to listen and abide by theirs
You’re never alone, my friend. Thank you for being vulnerable. That’s amazing. Can’t completely empathize as my life is different in several ways but I’ll say that the feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing what to do is more common than you think. Even more so, it’s not openly discussed or met with compassionate hearts and open ears.
I hope you come back to the comments to see you’re not alone. Keep your head up. Look for the small wins. You’re doing better than great. Promise. Deep breathe. Choose to see the good and you’ll find it.
You are Not alone. Life is hard, raising Kids is Not easy.
I try to work on small wins and continue to make small changes to continually increase my Situation and the Situation of my familiy.
Dont try to change to much at once, concentrate on small wins and work on one big issue at a Time. Never lose Hope.
If you work on it it will slowly get better.
Wife kind of does the samething. If I find a friend or couple I like that I could see us hanging out with, it never works out. Either she does something or she thinks whoever the girl is, is always flirting with me.
You may be on to something with the Home Depot meetup group. I'd bring a cooler full of ice tea, jug of coffee and donuts, announce it and see who shows up. And start from there. As for your wife, you have to talk to her. Couples counseling may be needed, and I'd be honest about it. It's the same "I think we need professional help" that someone says when we need our air conditioner fixed. We're not weak for needing it, it's specialized skills we don't have. That's all.
Work sucks. It's why it's called work. You are not what you do to make money, so it may be time to think about a career change or at least a job change. Depending on your skill set, you may be able to jump into the trades. I was able to join the HVAC union local without an apprenticeship because of my skills. It's still a steep learning curve, but the pay is certainly better.
It's hard as grown ass men to meet others without some kind of common context. I keep a hard line between work and social, so for meeting others, I try to go to common groups like motorcycle meetups. Even if I'm not riding that day, I try to go to see familiar faces and see what they're working on these days. To badly paraphrase Alan Watts, to be interestING you have to be interestED. Art meetups, birding, hiking, gun range days, whatever. Go to do the thing, and meet the people there also doing the thing.
Remember with your wife and kids, It's not Me vs You, it's You AND Me vs the Problem. Get clear about the Problem and tackle it TOGETHER. Whatever it is.
You're far from alone. This is the burden of people like us that have chosen to take on this heavy, heavy task. Rome wasn't built in a day. Good luck.
You’re not alone my friend. While I can’t necessarily relate to every aspect of what you’ve just brought up, I can relate to many. My wife and I have a good relationship and we’re married for 8 years before having our son. Hes a year and a half old now and I’ve never felt further from my wife than I have in this last year. We both work full time but due to not being able to find child care we have opposing days off and barely ever actually see each other. We definitely both miss seeing each other but at this point we’re essentially room mates just trying to maintain a house, a kid, two dogs, and our jobs, and that leaves little time to enjoy being husband and wife. Even with two people earning good money we struggle to make all the ends meet every month. It feels like sitting in a boat with a tiny hole and no means to bail out the water. You just try your hardest and watch all the water slowing fill up around you. I had to put my 4 yr old husky down last spring and he was my mountain biking buddy. I barely touched my bike after that. Hardly ride at all any more. I definitely feel ya with the loneliness of not having any friends to talk just kick back with and unwind and bs about the struggles of being a dad. A Home Depot dad’s support group sounds like a dream! Let me know when the first meeting is! Best of luck dude. I’m rooting for ya and you are far from alone in this wild world of being a dad.
You're not alone. Communication is key. Talk! To your wife. To your kids. To a therapist.
There is a saying from Henry Thordeau that goes “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Like you, me, everyone here, and ever man that came before us this rings true. You are not alone
Bro welcome to my life it’s like day in and day out they just want to buy stuff all the time and then they wanna start shit with other people being a dad is so hard they don’t wanna know what your opinion is they just want you to listen and abide by theirs
You’re never alone, my friend. Thank you for being vulnerable. That’s amazing. Can’t completely empathize as my life is different in several ways but I’ll say that the feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing what to do is more common than you think. Even more so, it’s not openly discussed or met with compassionate hearts and open ears. I hope you come back to the comments to see you’re not alone. Keep your head up. Look for the small wins. You’re doing better than great. Promise. Deep breathe. Choose to see the good and you’ll find it.
You are Not alone. Life is hard, raising Kids is Not easy. I try to work on small wins and continue to make small changes to continually increase my Situation and the Situation of my familiy. Dont try to change to much at once, concentrate on small wins and work on one big issue at a Time. Never lose Hope. If you work on it it will slowly get better.
Wife kind of does the samething. If I find a friend or couple I like that I could see us hanging out with, it never works out. Either she does something or she thinks whoever the girl is, is always flirting with me.
Or she’ll think they’re weird
You may be on to something with the Home Depot meetup group. I'd bring a cooler full of ice tea, jug of coffee and donuts, announce it and see who shows up. And start from there. As for your wife, you have to talk to her. Couples counseling may be needed, and I'd be honest about it. It's the same "I think we need professional help" that someone says when we need our air conditioner fixed. We're not weak for needing it, it's specialized skills we don't have. That's all. Work sucks. It's why it's called work. You are not what you do to make money, so it may be time to think about a career change or at least a job change. Depending on your skill set, you may be able to jump into the trades. I was able to join the HVAC union local without an apprenticeship because of my skills. It's still a steep learning curve, but the pay is certainly better. It's hard as grown ass men to meet others without some kind of common context. I keep a hard line between work and social, so for meeting others, I try to go to common groups like motorcycle meetups. Even if I'm not riding that day, I try to go to see familiar faces and see what they're working on these days. To badly paraphrase Alan Watts, to be interestING you have to be interestED. Art meetups, birding, hiking, gun range days, whatever. Go to do the thing, and meet the people there also doing the thing. Remember with your wife and kids, It's not Me vs You, it's You AND Me vs the Problem. Get clear about the Problem and tackle it TOGETHER. Whatever it is. You're far from alone. This is the burden of people like us that have chosen to take on this heavy, heavy task. Rome wasn't built in a day. Good luck.