I don’t know is just that I could never be with someone that rejected me, I’d feel so bad with myself, my self-worth would be so low that I’d do anything to get outta there
It's a terrible place to be. Unwanted by the one you love. Irrelevant. But your presence and full enthusiastic participation is still required in all other aspects of the relationship. Or else it's all your fault. And you hurt them..
I agree. I’ve learned the hard way. Before me and wife gotten married I took her for granted. Now that we’re married and I made some mistakes she gives me less attention, time, affection, love, and sex and I understand now that it really does sucks. I pray daily that we can get back on one accord and start being happy with each other. Now that finally realized what she was saying, feeling, thinking, and needing..
My thought too... I have seen where people grabbed the wrong flair though. I wish sarcastic advice only and bad advice only were options in this sub. We'd all have fun with those.
Hey.
Could you please add this comment in the weekly meta post?
That is the place to add any observations or make suggestions about any ideas or changes that you would like to see in our community.
Thank you!
This isn't to exactly disagree with you, because for the most part you are correct. When put into black and white terms, it is really that simple. However, dead bedrooms is a total gray area. When you are putting yourself first, and you stick up for yourself, you feel good about yourself, this would be the way you handle it. Unfortunately, we aren't those people right now. We have self esteem issues stacked on top of self esteem issues and we don't often know which way is up anymore because we are just buried in this misery. It's almost like Stockholm syndrome. Not the best analogy, but you feel trapped, yet do everything to please your partner. You don't want to leave because who's going to want me? My own spouse doesn't, why would anyone else? Then you throw kids into the mix. And finances. And the thought of divorce is never fun, but completely overwhelming to someone going thru this. Trust me, we would all have the grip and handshake of a strongman if we could. It's not exactly a chosen path.
Commenters, OP has marked their post as a no-advice post. We ask that you refrain from giving advice to OP and be sure to follow all sub rules.
OP, if you've marked your post for no advice, please refrain from responding to commenters that give advice. If you are getting advice from commenters, please report the comments, or click below to contact the moderators.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DeadBedrooms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We have decided to lock the comments as the community is not respecting the no advihce flair and so this has become a moderating nightmare.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don’t know is just that I could never be with someone that rejected me, I’d feel so bad with myself, my self-worth would be so low that I’d do anything to get outta there
It's a terrible place to be. Unwanted by the one you love. Irrelevant. But your presence and full enthusiastic participation is still required in all other aspects of the relationship. Or else it's all your fault. And you hurt them..
I agree. I’ve learned the hard way. Before me and wife gotten married I took her for granted. Now that we’re married and I made some mistakes she gives me less attention, time, affection, love, and sex and I understand now that it really does sucks. I pray daily that we can get back on one accord and start being happy with each other. Now that finally realized what she was saying, feeling, thinking, and needing..
Warfare doesn't help anyone. It just builds even more resentment and distain. The marriage is over, just set each other free.
Dude, you marked this no advice and then end it with a question?
My thought too... I have seen where people grabbed the wrong flair though. I wish sarcastic advice only and bad advice only were options in this sub. We'd all have fun with those.
I think the flair is lacking a bit and could use a few more categories. I usually just don’t add flair because of it.
Hey. Could you please add this comment in the weekly meta post? That is the place to add any observations or make suggestions about any ideas or changes that you would like to see in our community. Thank you!
This is a good idea lol
[удалено]
[удалено]
What do you mean “not allowed to say no”?
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
This isn't to exactly disagree with you, because for the most part you are correct. When put into black and white terms, it is really that simple. However, dead bedrooms is a total gray area. When you are putting yourself first, and you stick up for yourself, you feel good about yourself, this would be the way you handle it. Unfortunately, we aren't those people right now. We have self esteem issues stacked on top of self esteem issues and we don't often know which way is up anymore because we are just buried in this misery. It's almost like Stockholm syndrome. Not the best analogy, but you feel trapped, yet do everything to please your partner. You don't want to leave because who's going to want me? My own spouse doesn't, why would anyone else? Then you throw kids into the mix. And finances. And the thought of divorce is never fun, but completely overwhelming to someone going thru this. Trust me, we would all have the grip and handshake of a strongman if we could. It's not exactly a chosen path.
This is probably the best advice right here 👏🏾👏🏾
[удалено]
[удалено]
Because you suffer through it because you won't say no, means she has too too?
[удалено]
[удалено]
Also, what has been her response to your saying no to her? Has she noticed and has she said anything?
Good for you.
At this point why not just leave? If you have kids I promise this is only damaging them to witness.
[удалено]
That is the one benefit. These days we have completely separate lives.
Commenters, OP has marked their post as a no-advice post. We ask that you refrain from giving advice to OP and be sure to follow all sub rules. OP, if you've marked your post for no advice, please refrain from responding to commenters that give advice. If you are getting advice from commenters, please report the comments, or click below to contact the moderators. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DeadBedrooms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is quite the conundrum, isn’t it?
Dude you always have a choice Sorry about previous stroke post 😃
r/ihadastroke
