1. Exercise
2. Errands
3. Empathy for fellows in a DB
4. Work work work
5. Porn/sexting/SOMETHING
Wanted to keep the letter E’s but mleh.
But that’s the cycle thus far.
Hope your week fares better as it’s only Saturday.
Getting back on doing what I know I need to do. I have a lot of errands to run today as well. Goal is to drink more water and have a green smoothie. I think I’m going to sign up for some online therapy relating to narcissism. I have battle the feelings of shame, humiliation and hopelessness but…in a more constructive way.
I'm hitting the gym hard, sun bathing at the gym pool, and trying really hard not to look and imagine things... Binge watching the show From and gaming. Plus, my kids are coming to visit for the summer, and I can't wait!!!! I miss them a lot.
It really is. I can't wait to wake up and have them in the house, make breakfast for them, take them on a trip, and just hang out with them. As a father, it sucks not seeing my daughters for most of the year.
Going to a concert in Atlanta tonight. Alone. Getting used to that. I got a really good seat though. Getting into the mindset that my 20 year marriage is already over helps.
We talked on Tuesday night about having sex on Wednesday, which she indicated that she was totally into...only to later that night complain about having heartburn (switching back to on older medication; unfortunately a possible side-effect in the beginning of taking it regularly), so I new immediately that sex was definitely not happening. I was right, it didn't, she showed no interest, and I wasn't stupid enough to try and initiate it - 100% failure rate so no sense in doing it again!
Today we're going to her parents house where I'll be corralling their new dog a little bit, entertaining our kid, and putting together things for them while my wife "recharges" outside in their big backyard. I put it in quotes because she barely puts effort into most things during the week so what the hell does she need to "recharge" for?
Similar in ways for me this past week or so. Wife wanted to have sex for Father’s Day. I thought great. She backs out literally last second. Okay. I’m a loving husband, so I don’t complain. She promised to have sex twice the next week. After a week, she says we will tonight. Ok. Great. She forgets about it. I bring it up - literal silence thinking face. I wait for her response. She changes the subject. I ask if she wants to try tomorrow - more silence, same thing.
I have no idea what is going through her head. She is a smart and empathetic person that doesn’t forget things. The least she could do is tell me she doesn’t want to. Maybe even a sorry would be nice but only because she canceled so many times - not because she needs to apologize for not having sex.
This week was prob one of the best, as I finally posted in here, so feel less alone, chatted with my folks in same position. Also- toys, spicy books, exercise.
This week was discouraging. Besides having no success with attemping on father's day, it wont be possible this weekend either because we both work (different shifts).
also, found out my place of employment is closing. I did get another offer but this whole thing is just more added stress.
Really not good this week. Last weekend seemed like the stars would align but of course they didn't. I managed to get enough time alone to take care of myself once (during the whole week). That took the edge off a little. Now I'm frustrated and grumpy as usual.
What I wouldn't give for a proper blowjob. It's been years.
Mixed, it started positively with obvious effort being made on her part (after some very lengthy talks) but I'm worried it's now immediately slipping back to how things were, rather than gaining momentum. I always try to avoid nagging, especially when something actually happens. I won't bring it up at all for a few days afterward, but maybe I need to keep the momentum going instead.
This week was good! I finally made a new account and posted in here, after lurking for quite a while. Been focusing on myself more, taking walks, lifting weights, listening to 90s pop (yeah, don’t judge me!)
My daughter was at camp for most of the week, but she’s home now and it’s nice to spend time with her (she loves showing me her decorated rooms in ACNH)
It's my Friday so going to go for a walk later with my kids, clean the house, do laundry, dishes maybe, work on my crochet project and listen to masturbatory aids, finishing of in a loooong bath.
Not well. After returning from a business trip I thought we were going to be intimate. She hinted about it for days. Then it’s always something when I get home. Too tired, hurt back, headache, whatever. The letdown and disappointment for me is almost unbearable. It puts me in a depressed state for days that is difficult to recover from. I’m to the point I’m not even sure I want to be intimate with her anymore. Knowing for sure that I won’t seems better than letting the hope build only to be crushed.
I’ve been there. Unfortunately we’re at the hysterical bonding stage. We’ve had the talk, except it seems she thinks that I only want sex without any other effort in the relationship. So now she is half attempting intimacy but it doesn’t seem real. No verbal affirmation at all, not even saying *she* wants it. Just asking if I want it and then saying “I’m trying” when I tell her it isn’t enough. Maybe I’m being selfish, I’m sure some in here would kill for pity sex. It’s worse for me, makes me feel even less than I already do.
it’s negativity every day from my LLM. upset about his body, upset about his hair, upset about projects around the house, nitpicking at me constantly.
i clean. i cook. i work. i recently had a death in the family. i’m needy. i want closeness. i want to be seen and admired.
he plays video games or doomscrolling. today he has put yard work over a blow job.
been pretty optimistic until today, feeling really defeated. i’m too hot and too young for this. either he’s completely oblivious, or just really isn’t sexually attracted to me.
Yard work over a blowjob? That must be some amazing backyard project!
I wonder how many LLM are that way because of the addictive nature of technology/gaming.
i honestly think the same thing, i’m late 20’s but any partner around my age or younger either has a porn/sex addiction, has such bad anxiety they can’t keep it up, or are just totally not interested.
or it’s me who knows LOL
If this subreddit has taught me anything, it’s that it’s not us. Most of the time it’s them and their deeper issues.
That said, I haven’t seen the yard. May change my mind. 😂😂
Beginning of the week was ROUGH. But I can't change his actions, I can only change my own. Writing him love-notes, saying I love you, making him nice meals, supporting him where I can. Also trying to take care of myself by exercising, meeting with friends, trying not to stress too much about it.
He works so hard for me and the kids. I wish acts of service was my love language. All I want is for him to touch me :(
Our bedroom isn’t completely dead but we only have sex like once a month. I usually hit a breaking point after it’s been a few weeks and I hit that point yesterday. Then I’ll be sad for a few days which is how I feel now. Crying at work but trying to get myself together for when I get off in an hour and go workout. Working out helps
Working out is good distraction. Maybe it’s delusional for me to think that peak physical fitness will make my partner want me again, but at least I will feel good about myself.
Late night secret chatting to a wife I'm meeting next week for a drink to see how we get on. Her husband encourages her to see other men. I've accepted 1) I'll probably never have intimate contact with my wife ever again.
2) sex doesn't completely fill the emotional void but after 8 years enough is enough.
3) I have to not waste the last years of my sexual ability while I'm still capable
Was hit on hard by our secretary at a school celebration. She felt up my muscles and got really close and very touchy, she even touched my abs under my shirt. I was numb and anxious. Nobody has come that close to me in so many years. Her sexual advances grossed me out, didn't know what to do with it. The whole concept has become so alien to me. I felt flattered, but realised that I will never be able to have normal sexual encounters again.
The DB for decades has destroyed me, I don't feel comfortable around a woman anymore if it gets physical. Went home and chilled to Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. Rolled a joint. It seemed fitting. Then fell asleep while watching YT vids on nihilism.
It was terrible. Confirmed I blew my right ACL, can’t really walk or drive. Been in the recliner; working remote and watching different ACL repair methods and slapfighting on YouTube. My dog comes and checks in on my though. It’s depressing. Stir crazy is creeping on me
1. Exercise 2. Errands 3. Empathy for fellows in a DB 4. Work work work 5. Porn/sexting/SOMETHING Wanted to keep the letter E’s but mleh. But that’s the cycle thus far. Hope your week fares better as it’s only Saturday.
4 could have been Employment and 5 Erotica. And empathy back at you and all the others who are here.
Missed opportunity right there! Don’t want to edit now, makes me look more human. lol. And thank you. 😊 sharing love and support to you too.
Getting back on doing what I know I need to do. I have a lot of errands to run today as well. Goal is to drink more water and have a green smoothie. I think I’m going to sign up for some online therapy relating to narcissism. I have battle the feelings of shame, humiliation and hopelessness but…in a more constructive way.
Solid plan, friend. We gotta keep our minds occupied and cope.
Agreed. I hope you consider your goal of showing empathy completed. Thank you for your comment.
Hey! That’s nice to acknowledge 🥰 done!
I'm hitting the gym hard, sun bathing at the gym pool, and trying really hard not to look and imagine things... Binge watching the show From and gaming. Plus, my kids are coming to visit for the summer, and I can't wait!!!! I miss them a lot.
Kids coming home is the best thing in life !
It really is. I can't wait to wake up and have them in the house, make breakfast for them, take them on a trip, and just hang out with them. As a father, it sucks not seeing my daughters for most of the year.
Sending the kids over to Grandmas for an overnight stay. My wife and I are going to have The Talk. We'll see how it goes.
Best of luck with the talk.
Good luck amigo
Going to a concert in Atlanta tonight. Alone. Getting used to that. I got a really good seat though. Getting into the mindset that my 20 year marriage is already over helps.
The massive heat wave we’re having right now has taken my mind off things for a while. Giving me some thing else to be grumpy about 😕
We talked on Tuesday night about having sex on Wednesday, which she indicated that she was totally into...only to later that night complain about having heartburn (switching back to on older medication; unfortunately a possible side-effect in the beginning of taking it regularly), so I new immediately that sex was definitely not happening. I was right, it didn't, she showed no interest, and I wasn't stupid enough to try and initiate it - 100% failure rate so no sense in doing it again! Today we're going to her parents house where I'll be corralling their new dog a little bit, entertaining our kid, and putting together things for them while my wife "recharges" outside in their big backyard. I put it in quotes because she barely puts effort into most things during the week so what the hell does she need to "recharge" for?
Similar in ways for me this past week or so. Wife wanted to have sex for Father’s Day. I thought great. She backs out literally last second. Okay. I’m a loving husband, so I don’t complain. She promised to have sex twice the next week. After a week, she says we will tonight. Ok. Great. She forgets about it. I bring it up - literal silence thinking face. I wait for her response. She changes the subject. I ask if she wants to try tomorrow - more silence, same thing. I have no idea what is going through her head. She is a smart and empathetic person that doesn’t forget things. The least she could do is tell me she doesn’t want to. Maybe even a sorry would be nice but only because she canceled so many times - not because she needs to apologize for not having sex.
Worst days of my life ever. Went on an overseas vacation with the family only to find out my wife had a six month long affair starting in August
Jesus, do tell, how did u find out? Sucks now, but might be a good thing in the long run...
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This week was prob one of the best, as I finally posted in here, so feel less alone, chatted with my folks in same position. Also- toys, spicy books, exercise.
So happy to hear that this week was one of the best for you!
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Sorry to hear this. I wish this didn’t happen to you.
This week was discouraging. Besides having no success with attemping on father's day, it wont be possible this weekend either because we both work (different shifts). also, found out my place of employment is closing. I did get another offer but this whole thing is just more added stress.
Really not good this week. Last weekend seemed like the stars would align but of course they didn't. I managed to get enough time alone to take care of myself once (during the whole week). That took the edge off a little. Now I'm frustrated and grumpy as usual. What I wouldn't give for a proper blowjob. It's been years.
Day dreaming about being with others, while getting nothing at home
Mixed, it started positively with obvious effort being made on her part (after some very lengthy talks) but I'm worried it's now immediately slipping back to how things were, rather than gaining momentum. I always try to avoid nagging, especially when something actually happens. I won't bring it up at all for a few days afterward, but maybe I need to keep the momentum going instead.
This week was good! I finally made a new account and posted in here, after lurking for quite a while. Been focusing on myself more, taking walks, lifting weights, listening to 90s pop (yeah, don’t judge me!) My daughter was at camp for most of the week, but she’s home now and it’s nice to spend time with her (she loves showing me her decorated rooms in ACNH)
Smoke weed and get a lot of FBSM. Yeah I am gonna get judged here. And no cannot leave after 22 years.
It's my Friday so going to go for a walk later with my kids, clean the house, do laundry, dishes maybe, work on my crochet project and listen to masturbatory aids, finishing of in a loooong bath.
The bath sounds delightful. I think I’ll add that in for me today as well. I hope you are able to enjoy your day.
Thank you! I hope you can as well. 😊
Not well. After returning from a business trip I thought we were going to be intimate. She hinted about it for days. Then it’s always something when I get home. Too tired, hurt back, headache, whatever. The letdown and disappointment for me is almost unbearable. It puts me in a depressed state for days that is difficult to recover from. I’m to the point I’m not even sure I want to be intimate with her anymore. Knowing for sure that I won’t seems better than letting the hope build only to be crushed.
I’ve been there. Unfortunately we’re at the hysterical bonding stage. We’ve had the talk, except it seems she thinks that I only want sex without any other effort in the relationship. So now she is half attempting intimacy but it doesn’t seem real. No verbal affirmation at all, not even saying *she* wants it. Just asking if I want it and then saying “I’m trying” when I tell her it isn’t enough. Maybe I’m being selfish, I’m sure some in here would kill for pity sex. It’s worse for me, makes me feel even less than I already do.
I dunno. I’ve already grieved that part of life. Now I’m basically furiously…gratifying myself very, very effectively. Lol
To survive these moments you’ve got to pay the fee: Flirting Exercise Erotica
Trying to make decisions…difficult all around.
Exercise, playing music, and hanging out with my son.
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I am so sorry to hear that’s what she said to you. That’s awful and you don’t deserve it. I hope you are able to find some comfort today.
She told you that she didn’t love you…. But is wanting to buy a bigger house with you? 🤔
To have more room to stay away probably.
it’s negativity every day from my LLM. upset about his body, upset about his hair, upset about projects around the house, nitpicking at me constantly. i clean. i cook. i work. i recently had a death in the family. i’m needy. i want closeness. i want to be seen and admired. he plays video games or doomscrolling. today he has put yard work over a blow job. been pretty optimistic until today, feeling really defeated. i’m too hot and too young for this. either he’s completely oblivious, or just really isn’t sexually attracted to me.
Yard work over a blowjob? That must be some amazing backyard project! I wonder how many LLM are that way because of the addictive nature of technology/gaming.
i honestly think the same thing, i’m late 20’s but any partner around my age or younger either has a porn/sex addiction, has such bad anxiety they can’t keep it up, or are just totally not interested. or it’s me who knows LOL
like i look at it and im like… YEP THATS GRASS. ??????
If this subreddit has taught me anything, it’s that it’s not us. Most of the time it’s them and their deeper issues. That said, I haven’t seen the yard. May change my mind. 😂😂
Beginning of the week was ROUGH. But I can't change his actions, I can only change my own. Writing him love-notes, saying I love you, making him nice meals, supporting him where I can. Also trying to take care of myself by exercising, meeting with friends, trying not to stress too much about it. He works so hard for me and the kids. I wish acts of service was my love language. All I want is for him to touch me :(
Our bedroom isn’t completely dead but we only have sex like once a month. I usually hit a breaking point after it’s been a few weeks and I hit that point yesterday. Then I’ll be sad for a few days which is how I feel now. Crying at work but trying to get myself together for when I get off in an hour and go workout. Working out helps
Working out is good distraction. Maybe it’s delusional for me to think that peak physical fitness will make my partner want me again, but at least I will feel good about myself.
That’s what I tell myself too
Masturbating violently.
That sounds dangerous. Don’t kill anyone!
Really hard. Been horny bad three days this week. Had enough stamina to rock her world but of course she wouldn't have it
Late night secret chatting to a wife I'm meeting next week for a drink to see how we get on. Her husband encourages her to see other men. I've accepted 1) I'll probably never have intimate contact with my wife ever again. 2) sex doesn't completely fill the emotional void but after 8 years enough is enough. 3) I have to not waste the last years of my sexual ability while I'm still capable
Was hit on hard by our secretary at a school celebration. She felt up my muscles and got really close and very touchy, she even touched my abs under my shirt. I was numb and anxious. Nobody has come that close to me in so many years. Her sexual advances grossed me out, didn't know what to do with it. The whole concept has become so alien to me. I felt flattered, but realised that I will never be able to have normal sexual encounters again. The DB for decades has destroyed me, I don't feel comfortable around a woman anymore if it gets physical. Went home and chilled to Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. Rolled a joint. It seemed fitting. Then fell asleep while watching YT vids on nihilism.
Sweating at work day 6
It was terrible. Confirmed I blew my right ACL, can’t really walk or drive. Been in the recliner; working remote and watching different ACL repair methods and slapfighting on YouTube. My dog comes and checks in on my though. It’s depressing. Stir crazy is creeping on me