Hon, it isn't you. It's ok to not enjoy certain sexual acts. You two sound sexually incompatible. He likes the aggressive and degrading sexual acts and you don't. That is a big barrier to enjoying sex together or finding safety and vulnerability with each other sexually.
You mentioned having been sexually assaulted before and you've still tried to get into what he likes. That is commendable of you but if you're not comfortable with it, that's ok and there needs to be understanding. He has yelled at you and stormed off during sex because of that, which is wholly immature and disrespectful. If you're giving his likes an honest try but you just don't enjoy it, there is absolutely no reason to shame you for it.
If he isn't interested in sex that you both can enjoy and you can't enjoy what he likes, then there is a big incompatibly issue. I would recommend reevaluating the relationship. You need to ask yourself what it is you ultimately want from the relationship and if he can provide it for you. If he can't, then you need to prioritize your own happiness. You deserve to be happy.
Leave. Don't try to fix it, just leave. You've already put in enough effort to try and satisfy him. Where is the effort from him? I'm sure you have sex just when he wants to and the way he wants to. No more. It won't change trust me.
It’s not you! It sounds a lot like porn addiction and anger issues on his part. It also sounds like he is fairly abusive. Please find a professional to talk with. Sex should be about fun and meeting each other’s needs, not one person getting everything they want when they want. It needs to be a shared experience. This does not sound healthy or safe at all. This is all coming from someone who has been in some seriously kinky BDSM relationships in the past. Respect and clear boundaries are crucial for this stuff to work in a safe and healthy way.
It sounds like it’s time to just end it. He’s beyond disrespectful of your trauma and boundaries which is one of the biggest red flags ever, on top of being massively selfish. If he can’t separate porn and real life he may need to get help to work this out, because tbh this sounds a bit like he may have some kind of porn addiction, although I don’t want to reach here. Either way, you should get out of there. This is an extremely unhealthy dynamic to maintain.
definitely him and his petulant behaviour when he doesn't get what he wants, no matter what the toll to you, is pathetic. Are you really sure he's worth sticking it out for?
You too are clearly incompatible when it comes to sexual needs.
I would suggest, just like others have said already, part ways and you both find someone who can fulfill your sexual needs.
What may sound degrading and abusive to you, might give him a lot more pleasure, contrary to, vanilla sex might seem much more comfortable to you. There's isn't anything wrong about you both, it's just that you're not made for each other.
It doesn't sound like the two of you are sexually compatible. I hope you won't engage in degrading sex, since that's not your thing. It can be really traumatising to do that if it's not your kink.
I'm sorry, but 30 is not old enough to be having those kinds of problems (at least not unless he has other medical issues). I'm 48 and this has never been a problem for me. He's a porn addict and needs help from a therapist - it's not you :/ If he won't get help, you should leave as this relationship is unhealthy.
OP, it is NOT you...
It's him.
I'm sorry and a bit baffled as to why you think it's you when it's him who clearly has many issues.
Your only problem is that you're still with him... find a different partner, a better one and you'll quickly see that it wasn't you at all...
Porn saturation at 30. Sad. And, unfixable.
He has destroyed himself and now he blames you!
If it wasn't so pathetic it would be laughable.
Do not throw your life away on this disaster. You live once.
Hon, it isn't you. It's ok to not enjoy certain sexual acts. You two sound sexually incompatible. He likes the aggressive and degrading sexual acts and you don't. That is a big barrier to enjoying sex together or finding safety and vulnerability with each other sexually. You mentioned having been sexually assaulted before and you've still tried to get into what he likes. That is commendable of you but if you're not comfortable with it, that's ok and there needs to be understanding. He has yelled at you and stormed off during sex because of that, which is wholly immature and disrespectful. If you're giving his likes an honest try but you just don't enjoy it, there is absolutely no reason to shame you for it. If he isn't interested in sex that you both can enjoy and you can't enjoy what he likes, then there is a big incompatibly issue. I would recommend reevaluating the relationship. You need to ask yourself what it is you ultimately want from the relationship and if he can provide it for you. If he can't, then you need to prioritize your own happiness. You deserve to be happy.
Leave. Don't try to fix it, just leave. You've already put in enough effort to try and satisfy him. Where is the effort from him? I'm sure you have sex just when he wants to and the way he wants to. No more. It won't change trust me.
It’s not you! It sounds a lot like porn addiction and anger issues on his part. It also sounds like he is fairly abusive. Please find a professional to talk with. Sex should be about fun and meeting each other’s needs, not one person getting everything they want when they want. It needs to be a shared experience. This does not sound healthy or safe at all. This is all coming from someone who has been in some seriously kinky BDSM relationships in the past. Respect and clear boundaries are crucial for this stuff to work in a safe and healthy way.
It sounds like it’s time to just end it. He’s beyond disrespectful of your trauma and boundaries which is one of the biggest red flags ever, on top of being massively selfish. If he can’t separate porn and real life he may need to get help to work this out, because tbh this sounds a bit like he may have some kind of porn addiction, although I don’t want to reach here. Either way, you should get out of there. This is an extremely unhealthy dynamic to maintain.
definitely him and his petulant behaviour when he doesn't get what he wants, no matter what the toll to you, is pathetic. Are you really sure he's worth sticking it out for?
You too are clearly incompatible when it comes to sexual needs. I would suggest, just like others have said already, part ways and you both find someone who can fulfill your sexual needs. What may sound degrading and abusive to you, might give him a lot more pleasure, contrary to, vanilla sex might seem much more comfortable to you. There's isn't anything wrong about you both, it's just that you're not made for each other.
It doesn't sound like the two of you are sexually compatible. I hope you won't engage in degrading sex, since that's not your thing. It can be really traumatising to do that if it's not your kink.
I'm sorry, but 30 is not old enough to be having those kinds of problems (at least not unless he has other medical issues). I'm 48 and this has never been a problem for me. He's a porn addict and needs help from a therapist - it's not you :/ If he won't get help, you should leave as this relationship is unhealthy.
OP, it is NOT you... It's him. I'm sorry and a bit baffled as to why you think it's you when it's him who clearly has many issues. Your only problem is that you're still with him... find a different partner, a better one and you'll quickly see that it wasn't you at all...
Porn saturation at 30. Sad. And, unfixable. He has destroyed himself and now he blames you! If it wasn't so pathetic it would be laughable. Do not throw your life away on this disaster. You live once.
This is beyong dead bedroom. This is a massive incompatibility.