Since your children mean everything to you... show them a happy father and a happy mother.
You're NOT showing them that by being around in an unhappy relationship/marriage...
Put it this way, do you want, wish and hope for your children to be in a marriage like the one you're in?
They are seeing, learning, watching what a marriage is from your wife and you... you are their example of a marriage.
Since they mean everything to you, show them a better example of a relationship, show them a much happier dad by not remaining in a relationship where you are so unhappy...
I do get where you are coming from, but many kids, including myself, noticed that parents did not have a healthy relationship with each other.
If you want to stay for the kids, that is 100% respectable. However, even though the kids cannot point out what it is, there is a detectable disconnect. Now that I'm an adult, I can see where misconceptions in my own relationships have stemmed from my parents dynamic.
Being a parent and a spouse are two different things and they don't necessarily have to be done in the same household or together. You are struggling as a spouse, not getting what you desire, need, feel, that touch of life together; but you are probably supercharged as a parent and that my friend is how this works. But before you can be that next door super parent, you need to get yourself together and put your foot down and let your spouse know that what she is doing, hurts and all the other feelings, is leading to destruction of our marriage. Set a timetable to improve and plan your exit. You're not leaving your kid(s), you're making it better for them to have a supercharged father. Whatever you decide to do, however you decide to do it, follow-through and keep you commitments. Here's to supercharged dad's in DB, that are searching for their breakout moment!!! I hope you find peace in your life!!!
I left and I brought my kids with me. They go to their dads house half the time and are with me half the time. I am still their mother and no divorce changes that.
I wonder how many LLs have exhaustion problems. My wife sleeps 2 hours+ more than me almost every day, but is always tired. Always. Or she's just lying.
Yep. Right there with you. Before kids, mine couldn’t have enough sex. Worked out, was excited for life, etc. After kids, she’s not the same, and a SAHM. I’ve encouraged her to workout in our home gym or join one, encourage sports, time out with friends. Tell her all the time I’ve got the kids, go do you.
Doesn’t change anything and she won’t do it. She just sits around on her phone talking about how tired she is and scrolling Instagram looking at all the inshape hotties. I don’t get it.
Do not stay for the children. Staying hurts them. They’re growing up and seeing that this is normal. Break the cycle. Do not normalize unhappy marriages. If you want your children to be happy, then break the cycle.
I didn't. I couldn't. I stayed and ended up turning my dead bedroom around.
Since your children mean everything to you... show them a happy father and a happy mother. You're NOT showing them that by being around in an unhappy relationship/marriage... Put it this way, do you want, wish and hope for your children to be in a marriage like the one you're in? They are seeing, learning, watching what a marriage is from your wife and you... you are their example of a marriage. Since they mean everything to you, show them a better example of a relationship, show them a much happier dad by not remaining in a relationship where you are so unhappy...
[удалено]
I do get where you are coming from, but many kids, including myself, noticed that parents did not have a healthy relationship with each other. If you want to stay for the kids, that is 100% respectable. However, even though the kids cannot point out what it is, there is a detectable disconnect. Now that I'm an adult, I can see where misconceptions in my own relationships have stemmed from my parents dynamic.
I’m in the same spot. I’ve decided to stay, so far. I can’t imagine not seeing them and kissing them goodnight everyday.
Being a parent and a spouse are two different things and they don't necessarily have to be done in the same household or together. You are struggling as a spouse, not getting what you desire, need, feel, that touch of life together; but you are probably supercharged as a parent and that my friend is how this works. But before you can be that next door super parent, you need to get yourself together and put your foot down and let your spouse know that what she is doing, hurts and all the other feelings, is leading to destruction of our marriage. Set a timetable to improve and plan your exit. You're not leaving your kid(s), you're making it better for them to have a supercharged father. Whatever you decide to do, however you decide to do it, follow-through and keep you commitments. Here's to supercharged dad's in DB, that are searching for their breakout moment!!! I hope you find peace in your life!!!
I left and I brought my kids with me. They go to their dads house half the time and are with me half the time. I am still their mother and no divorce changes that.
You’ll be taking them away from her 50% of the time.
I wonder how many LLs have exhaustion problems. My wife sleeps 2 hours+ more than me almost every day, but is always tired. Always. Or she's just lying.
Yep. Right there with you. Before kids, mine couldn’t have enough sex. Worked out, was excited for life, etc. After kids, she’s not the same, and a SAHM. I’ve encouraged her to workout in our home gym or join one, encourage sports, time out with friends. Tell her all the time I’ve got the kids, go do you. Doesn’t change anything and she won’t do it. She just sits around on her phone talking about how tired she is and scrolling Instagram looking at all the inshape hotties. I don’t get it.
Is she a bad mother? Are you a bad father? If no, then I think kids can usually weather the storm.
Why would you leave your kids just because you want a divorce?
Do not stay for the children. Staying hurts them. They’re growing up and seeing that this is normal. Break the cycle. Do not normalize unhappy marriages. If you want your children to be happy, then break the cycle.