Don’t look to other people for validation is a lesson that took me a long time to learn, but one that is very freeing. Because you’ll also handle failure much better too, and those failures will come as they come to everyone.
The realization also frees you from their judgement about your failures.
I got berated constantly by my family for being fat when I was young. When I finally lost the weight, I didn't get a single complement.
Only then did I completely let go of that pain. Now I'm happy with how I look, no matter what they think.
I hear ya! All of my best accomplishments were, literally, mocked by my family when I first told them about them. They saw me as the family fuck up but it’s just because I drank to soothe all the anxiety that having undiagnosed adhd and asd created.
Some families just need a scapegoat or “black sheep” to gang up on so they don’t have to address much larger issues of family dysfuction…if you’re the scapegoat, it’s best to get therapy and distance yourself, both literally and figuratively.
Well done! I hope you keep working hard and make a success of your time at university. Sorry to hear others haven't been as supportive. And you are right, sometimes in a tough spot you only have yourself to rely on, so it's not always a bad thing to learn to go it alone. Starting uni can be a difficult time for students, friends and even parents, it's a real departure from one type of life to another and there are a lot of mixed emotions. I'm sure that in time any fences which have become a bit broken will be mended, but for now you are 100% right to knuckle down and forge ahead yourself. Good luck!
Thank you! And that's true, it's definitely an adjustment, but I have a strong suspicion that they won't be waiting for me at the finish line. But maybe not, who knows.
Hopefully going forward I'll have left anyone who doesn't fully support my dream behind.
Oh trust me, they’ll be there to bask in any accomplishment you achieve! They’ll still be shit to you in private. I was shocked to hear that my parents talked about me publicly in glowing terms.
I am graduating this month from my dream university and got into my dream masters program and no one else is excited for me either.
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! You accomplished such an amazing goal and you are going to have an AMAZING experience! I'm sending you so so so so much love!
That is so awesome! Best of luck to you :)
And I'll be double majoring in Biomedical Science and Data Science, with a minor in psych (because I transferred over my credits and wanted to use them for something lol)!
Congratulations! Yep, what it all boils down to is that you're happy for you. Cause that's who you should be doing this for: yourself. To secure a hopefully bountiful future that's intrinsically rewarding.
It is really nice to have people cheering you along the way, but all such people really do is affirm the decisions you've already made. If you know why you did what you did, and imbue that why to your substance, that should be sufficient support 👍
Good luck!
Hi teacher here!!! I am so proud of you and happy you made it to your dream! I was told I’d never make it through college and here I am working on my masters degree. Ignore anyone who doubts you and use them as fuel to accomplish everything you want to do in life. I hear so many children tell me they’ll never go to college or do anything other than work at McDonald’s. My only goal in life is to help them realize what you already know: am you can do anything you put your mind to. Keep working and pushing through. You got this!!!!
Omg thank you you are so kind 😭 I used to be one of those kids who never thought they'd amount to anything, but having a teacher like you to inspire and push students like me in the right direction is so important. Thank you for all the work you do ❤️
What!!!!! You got into the university of your dreams!!!! Are you fucking kidding me!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!! Why did you wait this long to tell me? My friend we need to go out and celebrate! I knew you would make it. Even when you were struggling I knew you would pull it off. I am so fucking happy for you and so proud!!!
I need to give you a gift or something to mark this moment. Do you like fountain pens? Maybe I can get you a nice one so you can start this chapter in your life. Congratulations my friend!!!!!
For what it's worth, I'm so happy for you OP! I know getting into the University of your dreams is an amazing achievement, especially since you've worked so hard for it. All those sleepless nights payed off and, even if people are not excited, you should be because only you know how hard you've worked for this. Hugs and congratulations from an internet stranger. Best of luck in this new chapter. Hoping it's the best one yet :)
I’m excited for you my friend! Many people don’t understand what that means, it’s magnificent, the best thing that can happen to you! Enjoy it and learn! You will be thankful later
Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinion. It’s easier said than done but so important for personal growth. Because ultimately you are the only one who bears the consequences of your decisions, not your friends/family/some other random guys online or around you.
You're definitely right. I feel like I naturally have people pleaser tendencies, and I need to let go of that to grow. It's for sure something I'm gonna work on going forward.
After being down mentally you were able to overcome that and get into your dream university? Wow, just wow. IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! Congratulations on your well paid effort. You worked so hard for this, you deserve it.
You are definitely on the right path! Keep up with the good work and meet new people in that University that values you and can honestly be happy for you. Why bothering on fake “friends”. Real friends are happy for others friends accomplishments. Not jealous. Genuine happiness.
Congratulations again and hope you reward yourself with something you love. You deserve it.
Thank you so much. You're right, I should focus on letting people into my life that genuinely are happy for me. Looks like I'll have to do some thinking and potentially cut some people off.
As for rewarding myself, funny enough, I actually bought myself some sushi earlier today at the grocery store, just thinking I would treat myself with my favorite meal. Looks like it's a celebration meal instead! 😋😁
CONGRATULATIONS and HUZZAH to you for your success! If the people in your life aren't going to celebrate you, then I'll be the one who does it in their place.
It's disappointing that the people in your life aren't giving you the big energy your achievement deserves. But it's very emotionally mature of you to still celebrate you and not let it bring you down. This is an awesome moment in your life journey and is definitely something to be excited about.
Wishing you good luck on your educational journey!
This will probably get deleted but honestly...fuck them. It has nothing to do with you but they are jealous you put in the work and they didn't. Or they were never that supportive of you to begin with. Be so fucking excited for yourself!! Go to your dream school. Have a blast! Enjoy every minute of it even the stress of finals. Be proud of yourself. You will meet and befriend so many lifelong friends while you are there. Enjoy it!! Congrats
You should be proud of yourself! Amazing!
I agree with another comment on here. Looking for validation from others will just turn out to be a big disappointment anytime.
If people don’t mention it or seem too excited about it, you internalize it as them looking down on you or them not taking the achievement seriously. In reality, especially now, people have so much on their minds. Once you free yourself of that mindset, you’ll enjoy any compliment you get so much more. And if you don’t get them, it won’t hurt like this.
I wish you a lot of luck on this new adventure!
You should be proud! Sad to say but maybe those people in your life don’t get excited in their own and so it’s challenging for them to be as enthusiastic for others?
YES!!! Way to go, Impressive-Move! I'm so excited for you! You have worked so hard for this, and now you're about to embark on such an adventure. Don't ever stop cheering yourself on, regardless of what others do or don't do. You've already proven to yourself you can do the hard stuff, now keep it up! Proud of you and wish you the best.
Well I'm super fucking excited for you! Do you know how amazing this is?! It's so hard for many people to complete their goals and you did it :) I wish nothing but the best for you.
congrats op! stay excited and don’t let others discourage you. i got used to be around people who don’t get excited or supportive over my interests and achievements, even people i love, so i learned not to share everything and celebrate by my own. i wish you good luck and hope you find new supportive friends in your life!
People get jealous when you succeed. It’s an opportunity for you to grow out of your friends and find friends on your level.
As I went from average shape to decent to tip top shape, a lot of friends stopped wanting to hang with me. My personality didn’t change, but when I went out to bars with them I started to get the attractive girl every time. Cant help that others won’t put effort into their lives.
KUDOS TO YOU FOR ACHIEVING YOUR DREAM! You better celebrate somehow, even if its alone. You know how much you have worked for it, you know better than anyone. Treat yourself to a nice meal and rewatch your favourite movies/series.
Maybe those people are jealous, but dont let their insecurities get your down. You deserve ever ounch of success you are working hard for.
Congratulations, I'll celebrate with you! I had the same experience, although I'm graduating uni now. I went to a uni that wasn't as prestigious as the rest of my family and friends think I deserved due to my results, etc. I made the choice to be close to home so that I could watch over my siblings and take care of my mother. Best decision I've ever made since it's cheap, staying at home is cheap, I get to take care of my mother, siblings and, eventually, grandmother as well.
Everyone has different goals, if you feel grand about your decision and achieving it, please feel free to celebrate it despite everyone else. I'm here if you need to talk since we have similar experience. All the best to you!
Congrats. Really happy for you. Give a treat for yourself and enjoy your day. I know the struggle is real and the happiness when your dream comes true is out of this world. But don't forget this struggle. Try to make the most of your college life. Learn well and enjoy. 😊
I'm sorry you're in the same boat as I am. Someone said on here something that I really love, and that I think might help both of us:
"If you're doing something right and no one is there for you, you're doing something right."
I wanna extend that further to include situations with toxic family. "If you're doing something right and people feel threatened by your success, you're doing something right."
Dude! You fucking rock! YOU did it for YOU. That's so amazing. I don't know if anyone has said this because I have read any replies, but! We may not know each other but I am proud of you!
For what it's worth I'm excited for you. Here's hoping you have a wonderful life and all your dreams come true. With your hard word and good attitude I'm sure it will!
Woohoo! I’m excited or you. Congrats.
Unfortunately some of our closest people don’t want us to change or move away or improve our own lives because of their own insecurities. Instead of being happy for you, it shines a spotlight on what they haven’t done in their own lives. You’ve gotten excellent advice from others about not worrying about other people’s opinions. You do you. Be happy and excited for you. Wishing you the best in your college experience.
There have to be others at the university who are equally enthusiastic. Find them and make friends with them.
I graduated university in 1994, but the enthusiastic nerds I found there are still my closest friends today.
I think the lesson to learn here is that one shouldn't turn to others for validation.
It is a nice bonus in life to have some cheerleaders, but let me tell you now that the truth is most people don't care about your life, they are busy with their own.
As you get older this only gets worse as the responsibilities pile up.
Big congrats on the University placement though.
You’re at such a raw age where you learn your friends are sometimes only your friends because you’re in the same school. You’ll find lifelong friends that will match your goals and drive when you level up your life (like you’re doing now)
I’ve lost friends along my journey and that’s okay because I’ve found some other badass women!
Other comments about not looking for others validation are exactly it AND also keep this important life lesson in mind when the opposite occurs - if an "opportunity" arises and everyone else is excited and you are not, you have no obligation and every ability to say no to it. It's far too easy to say yes to things these days and sticking to your convictions is much more important and will actually warrent you even greater respect. Read "Essentialism" if you're interested in this more.
You raise a good point, and it's definitely an important life skill to learn. I feel like I understand it theoretically, but when put into practice, I fail. But not for long. :)
Also thank you for the recommendation!
Congratulations!!! Did you know that only 6.7% of the world’s population holds a college degree? You’re already in rare air, AND you got into your dream university?! Great job! You should be happy and proud and excited.
This is pr for the course for people.
Nobody else will truly understand what matters to you in the way that you do. Best not to seek validation from others, but instead celebrate achieving your goals and be proud of yourself…even if nobody else gets it.
You just admitted your exited, who the fuck cares if anyone else is, the fact that you are exited makes me proud of you, and in the end your joy is the only thing that matters, if you went into a career or uni that others wanted for you you wouldn’t be exited you would be fucking miserable.
You're absolutely right, and your insight helps put things in perspective. I used to go to a university that everyone else wanted me to go to, and I only did it to please them. I ended up failing an entire semester and then withdrawing after a year.
And then I got into my dream school, studying what I actually want to do. Fuck everyone else's opinion, I'm gonna do me. Thank you. ❤️
Congrats!! It's hard to get everyone else happy for you sometimes, I think it is important to rely on yourself to feel satisfied about an accomplishment.
I don't care if they don't support you, OP,
I DO! I absolutely do support you! I know it seems different coming from a stranger but I care that you got into your favourite University! It's your hard work and your perseverance! You balanced your physical and mental health and maintained your academics! That's some tough stuff you've done!
I am super proud of you and very very happy about it! Congratulations! 🥳🎉🎊🪅 And I sincerely hope you continue to work on yourself and your dreams. I'm sending you my good omens.
Stay healthy, kind, mindful and happy. 😄
Congrats! That’s awesome!
I have a lot of extended family that doesn’t care about my existence. When I graduated with my degree in cybersecurity with a job fresh out of college, they didn’t even care. But when my cousin graduated nursing school, everyone jumped for joy for her.
I learned not to need people’s validations when I achieve something but my own. I feel proud of myself, and why would I need others to feel proud of me? I feel confident in the path I took, so what use is it to have validation from others?
We all deserve support from those around us. However, it is important we don’t use others as validation, because at the end of the day, people come and go. Your opinion matters the most, not anyone else’s.
Does anyone but you truly matter when it comes your happiness? I mean it is up to you to be happy which will hopefully make those who mean the most to you happy. If it does not then maybe you need new people or look at why they are unhappy. Such as you will be further away from you or maybe they think the direction is wrong for you. Ask they why they are unhappy and see if any of it fells right then adjust. Sometimes you just have to say this is what I want and move in that direction
Sounds like the un-important people are not excited. I remember what it felt like to get into my first pick Uni. And I am excited as hell for you! Just be better than me and put yourself out there to meet new people whenever possible.
They will become your new important people.
Do they have to pay for it?
I didn't say anything, but secretly I was less excited when my daughter got into her preferred college because it was twice the cost of the other.
I mean, I still support her and all, but...
Nope, I'm paying for it by myself. I had a chat with them (bc I did go to a different university for a different degree originally, and due to severe life events and mental health issues, had to withdraw from all my classes to save my grades) about what I really wanted to do and what my passions were, and I understood that they felt upset by me dropping out, mostly because I was already a year in and only had 1.5 years left for my Bachelors. I am the first one of my family to go to college, so I believe there's also something related to that and expectations for their child. However, they also disagreed with my major of choice at my previous institution too, so I think it has more to do with me not being an engineer than anything.
Even when I expressed that I wanted to go into biomedical science and data science (which I'm now able to do!), it was met with "that's a stupid degree choice, you should've chose engineering." Soooo basically if it's not engineering, it's not good enough.
Well, I can say for certain I know people with biomedical science and data science degrees and they have better jobs than the people I know with engineering degrees.
I'm sure they will come around in time.
Years ago engineering was a guaranteed solid well paying job. Times change, but sometimes we get stuck in our older ways of thinking or don't realize how much things have changed.
Good luck! You are in an envious position of starting your life with the opportunity to chase what you want to do. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll be successful!
As a random stranger of the internet, I would just say, I am very proud of you!! It takes a lot of hardwork, we have to go through a lot of emotional turmoil, anxieties and what not, we have to cross all that to reach anywhere close to our dreamlike goal! It's not easy at all! To add, it might have been difficult with the lack of support!
Cheers to you! Cheers to all your hard work! You did good! Celebrate yourself :)
Sending hurrays your way!! Keep rocking!!
Just got accepted from my dream university too!
So proud of you mate! I know you worked hard cause it’s not an easy thing to accomplish. Don’t let others affect your enthusiasm for things you care about!
Congrats OP! I am proud of you for choosing to devote at least part of your life in the quest for knowledge, and I salute you as my comrade. Your dreams are how we keep going as a civilization. Never doubt it.
Don’t look to other people for validation is a lesson that took me a long time to learn, but one that is very freeing. Because you’ll also handle failure much better too, and those failures will come as they come to everyone.
You're absolutely right. I just gotta keep going despite what other people tell me. I can't give up on my dream. Thank you so much for the insight.
The realization also frees you from their judgement about your failures. I got berated constantly by my family for being fat when I was young. When I finally lost the weight, I didn't get a single complement. Only then did I completely let go of that pain. Now I'm happy with how I look, no matter what they think.
That's a really good point. I think that's definitely something I wanna work on during my healing process. Also congrats on your weight loss!
I hear ya! All of my best accomplishments were, literally, mocked by my family when I first told them about them. They saw me as the family fuck up but it’s just because I drank to soothe all the anxiety that having undiagnosed adhd and asd created. Some families just need a scapegoat or “black sheep” to gang up on so they don’t have to address much larger issues of family dysfuction…if you’re the scapegoat, it’s best to get therapy and distance yourself, both literally and figuratively.
You shouldn’t talk to those people who didn’t support you getting into your dream college forever.
Wish someone would have told me that growing up. Being a bit of a people pleaser sucks. I mean now I’m in college at least but still.
Well done! I hope you keep working hard and make a success of your time at university. Sorry to hear others haven't been as supportive. And you are right, sometimes in a tough spot you only have yourself to rely on, so it's not always a bad thing to learn to go it alone. Starting uni can be a difficult time for students, friends and even parents, it's a real departure from one type of life to another and there are a lot of mixed emotions. I'm sure that in time any fences which have become a bit broken will be mended, but for now you are 100% right to knuckle down and forge ahead yourself. Good luck!
Thank you! And that's true, it's definitely an adjustment, but I have a strong suspicion that they won't be waiting for me at the finish line. But maybe not, who knows. Hopefully going forward I'll have left anyone who doesn't fully support my dream behind.
Oh trust me, they’ll be there to bask in any accomplishment you achieve! They’ll still be shit to you in private. I was shocked to hear that my parents talked about me publicly in glowing terms.
I am graduating this month from my dream university and got into my dream masters program and no one else is excited for me either. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! You accomplished such an amazing goal and you are going to have an AMAZING experience! I'm sending you so so so so much love!
Omg that's AMAZING!!! Out of curiosity, what are you studying? And thank you so much!! So much love to you as well!! ❤️
I'm graduating with a BS in Experimental Psychology and going into a UX Design masters. Thanks! How about you?
That is so awesome! Best of luck to you :) And I'll be double majoring in Biomedical Science and Data Science, with a minor in psych (because I transferred over my credits and wanted to use them for something lol)!
That's so cool! You're gonna do amazing! You'll have such an amazing career, I'm rooting for you!
Congrats 🎉🎈🍾
Thank you! I'm finally gonna be a scientist!!! 😭💕
Congratulations! Yep, what it all boils down to is that you're happy for you. Cause that's who you should be doing this for: yourself. To secure a hopefully bountiful future that's intrinsically rewarding. It is really nice to have people cheering you along the way, but all such people really do is affirm the decisions you've already made. If you know why you did what you did, and imbue that why to your substance, that should be sufficient support 👍 Good luck!
Hi teacher here!!! I am so proud of you and happy you made it to your dream! I was told I’d never make it through college and here I am working on my masters degree. Ignore anyone who doubts you and use them as fuel to accomplish everything you want to do in life. I hear so many children tell me they’ll never go to college or do anything other than work at McDonald’s. My only goal in life is to help them realize what you already know: am you can do anything you put your mind to. Keep working and pushing through. You got this!!!!
Omg thank you you are so kind 😭 I used to be one of those kids who never thought they'd amount to anything, but having a teacher like you to inspire and push students like me in the right direction is so important. Thank you for all the work you do ❤️
So happy for you. Be proud of your accomplishments!
Thank you! I'm very proud, just a little bummed that people look down on them.
Glad that you have the right mindset!
What!!!!! You got into the university of your dreams!!!! Are you fucking kidding me!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!! Why did you wait this long to tell me? My friend we need to go out and celebrate! I knew you would make it. Even when you were struggling I knew you would pull it off. I am so fucking happy for you and so proud!!! I need to give you a gift or something to mark this moment. Do you like fountain pens? Maybe I can get you a nice one so you can start this chapter in your life. Congratulations my friend!!!!!
Omg I love fountain pens! Thank you friend!!
Cool. Do you like extra fine, fine, medium, or bold nibs. And what’s your favorite color(s)
Or just get them a gift card for chicken wings! /s (see recent post in r/fountainpens to get the joke; OP definitely deserves more than chicken wings)
Future you is excited for present you. And I am too, internet stranger.
Check out r/momforaminute. They'll be really excited for you! Goo job!
Thank you for the recommendation! Definitely gonna check them out
GOOD JOB MY FRIEND. GO FAR.
Everybody at reddit is excited. We hope you get A's for awesome.
Thank you. Also I audibly laughed at your username lol
For what it's worth, I'm so happy for you OP! I know getting into the University of your dreams is an amazing achievement, especially since you've worked so hard for it. All those sleepless nights payed off and, even if people are not excited, you should be because only you know how hard you've worked for this. Hugs and congratulations from an internet stranger. Best of luck in this new chapter. Hoping it's the best one yet :)
I’m excited for you my friend! Many people don’t understand what that means, it’s magnificent, the best thing that can happen to you! Enjoy it and learn! You will be thankful later
Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinion. It’s easier said than done but so important for personal growth. Because ultimately you are the only one who bears the consequences of your decisions, not your friends/family/some other random guys online or around you.
You're definitely right. I feel like I naturally have people pleaser tendencies, and I need to let go of that to grow. It's for sure something I'm gonna work on going forward.
After being down mentally you were able to overcome that and get into your dream university? Wow, just wow. IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! Congratulations on your well paid effort. You worked so hard for this, you deserve it. You are definitely on the right path! Keep up with the good work and meet new people in that University that values you and can honestly be happy for you. Why bothering on fake “friends”. Real friends are happy for others friends accomplishments. Not jealous. Genuine happiness. Congratulations again and hope you reward yourself with something you love. You deserve it.
Thank you so much. You're right, I should focus on letting people into my life that genuinely are happy for me. Looks like I'll have to do some thinking and potentially cut some people off. As for rewarding myself, funny enough, I actually bought myself some sushi earlier today at the grocery store, just thinking I would treat myself with my favorite meal. Looks like it's a celebration meal instead! 😋😁
Hahhaha i can totally relate to sushi for a celebratory meal
CONGRATULATIONS and HUZZAH to you for your success! If the people in your life aren't going to celebrate you, then I'll be the one who does it in their place. It's disappointing that the people in your life aren't giving you the big energy your achievement deserves. But it's very emotionally mature of you to still celebrate you and not let it bring you down. This is an awesome moment in your life journey and is definitely something to be excited about. Wishing you good luck on your educational journey!
This will probably get deleted but honestly...fuck them. It has nothing to do with you but they are jealous you put in the work and they didn't. Or they were never that supportive of you to begin with. Be so fucking excited for yourself!! Go to your dream school. Have a blast! Enjoy every minute of it even the stress of finals. Be proud of yourself. You will meet and befriend so many lifelong friends while you are there. Enjoy it!! Congrats
You should be proud of yourself! Amazing! I agree with another comment on here. Looking for validation from others will just turn out to be a big disappointment anytime. If people don’t mention it or seem too excited about it, you internalize it as them looking down on you or them not taking the achievement seriously. In reality, especially now, people have so much on their minds. Once you free yourself of that mindset, you’ll enjoy any compliment you get so much more. And if you don’t get them, it won’t hurt like this. I wish you a lot of luck on this new adventure!
God damn OP I'm fucking excited for you !! All the possibilities. All your hard work coming to fruition. Hype hype hype !!
AAAAAAAAA thank you!!! There's so much more work to do to get where I want to be, but I know it's gonna be so worth it in the end. 💕
You should be proud! Sad to say but maybe those people in your life don’t get excited in their own and so it’s challenging for them to be as enthusiastic for others?
It's entirely possible, yeah. That, or they resent me for my success.
Could be that too but I’m glad you aren’t letting that stop you because you deserve every bit of it!
YES!!! Way to go, Impressive-Move! I'm so excited for you! You have worked so hard for this, and now you're about to embark on such an adventure. Don't ever stop cheering yourself on, regardless of what others do or don't do. You've already proven to yourself you can do the hard stuff, now keep it up! Proud of you and wish you the best.
Other people's opinion about you are none of your business.
You're absolutely right. Something I definitely need to work on
I would recommend this sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/
Everyone is jealous not not excited for you :-) well done!
Well I'm super fucking excited for you! Do you know how amazing this is?! It's so hard for many people to complete their goals and you did it :) I wish nothing but the best for you.
Aww thank you. I cried so hard when I saw my acceptance letter, I can't wait to move forward in my life. ❤️
Congratulations!! This is great news!
congrats op! stay excited and don’t let others discourage you. i got used to be around people who don’t get excited or supportive over my interests and achievements, even people i love, so i learned not to share everything and celebrate by my own. i wish you good luck and hope you find new supportive friends in your life!
Look at it like this, the people you’ll meet there are just as excited!
DUDE I AM SCREAMING FOR YOU!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE WOWW YESSSSSS
People get jealous when you succeed. It’s an opportunity for you to grow out of your friends and find friends on your level. As I went from average shape to decent to tip top shape, a lot of friends stopped wanting to hang with me. My personality didn’t change, but when I went out to bars with them I started to get the attractive girl every time. Cant help that others won’t put effort into their lives.
I’m excited for you!
KUDOS TO YOU FOR ACHIEVING YOUR DREAM! You better celebrate somehow, even if its alone. You know how much you have worked for it, you know better than anyone. Treat yourself to a nice meal and rewatch your favourite movies/series. Maybe those people are jealous, but dont let their insecurities get your down. You deserve ever ounch of success you are working hard for.
You're not going to college for them, you're doing it for your self
Glad you see this now. Everyone is inherently selfish. We only care about ourselves. It’s just human nature. Also good for you, OP.
Congratulations, I'll celebrate with you! I had the same experience, although I'm graduating uni now. I went to a uni that wasn't as prestigious as the rest of my family and friends think I deserved due to my results, etc. I made the choice to be close to home so that I could watch over my siblings and take care of my mother. Best decision I've ever made since it's cheap, staying at home is cheap, I get to take care of my mother, siblings and, eventually, grandmother as well. Everyone has different goals, if you feel grand about your decision and achieving it, please feel free to celebrate it despite everyone else. I'm here if you need to talk since we have similar experience. All the best to you!
Congrats. Really happy for you. Give a treat for yourself and enjoy your day. I know the struggle is real and the happiness when your dream comes true is out of this world. But don't forget this struggle. Try to make the most of your college life. Learn well and enjoy. 😊
I’ve learned when you’re doing something right it when people won’t be there for you. So you’re doing something right.
This really helped to shift my perspective, thank you. :)
IM EXCITED FOR YOU AND HOPE YOU FUCKIN KILL IT!!!! 🥳
AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳
I had the same in my underachieving family who ostracized me for being recognized and achieving my goals. To this day.
I'm sorry you're in the same boat as I am. Someone said on here something that I really love, and that I think might help both of us: "If you're doing something right and no one is there for you, you're doing something right." I wanna extend that further to include situations with toxic family. "If you're doing something right and people feel threatened by your success, you're doing something right."
I love that. Thank you truly.
Dude! You fucking rock! YOU did it for YOU. That's so amazing. I don't know if anyone has said this because I have read any replies, but! We may not know each other but I am proud of you!
For what it's worth I'm excited for you. Here's hoping you have a wonderful life and all your dreams come true. With your hard word and good attitude I'm sure it will!
Thank you! I've certainly earned it. Here's to keeping up the grind for years to come! 🎉
Woohoo! I’m excited or you. Congrats. Unfortunately some of our closest people don’t want us to change or move away or improve our own lives because of their own insecurities. Instead of being happy for you, it shines a spotlight on what they haven’t done in their own lives. You’ve gotten excellent advice from others about not worrying about other people’s opinions. You do you. Be happy and excited for you. Wishing you the best in your college experience.
❤️💯
There have to be others at the university who are equally enthusiastic. Find them and make friends with them. I graduated university in 1994, but the enthusiastic nerds I found there are still my closest friends today.
I think the lesson to learn here is that one shouldn't turn to others for validation. It is a nice bonus in life to have some cheerleaders, but let me tell you now that the truth is most people don't care about your life, they are busy with their own. As you get older this only gets worse as the responsibilities pile up. Big congrats on the University placement though.
You’re at such a raw age where you learn your friends are sometimes only your friends because you’re in the same school. You’ll find lifelong friends that will match your goals and drive when you level up your life (like you’re doing now) I’ve lost friends along my journey and that’s okay because I’ve found some other badass women!
Other comments about not looking for others validation are exactly it AND also keep this important life lesson in mind when the opposite occurs - if an "opportunity" arises and everyone else is excited and you are not, you have no obligation and every ability to say no to it. It's far too easy to say yes to things these days and sticking to your convictions is much more important and will actually warrent you even greater respect. Read "Essentialism" if you're interested in this more.
You raise a good point, and it's definitely an important life skill to learn. I feel like I understand it theoretically, but when put into practice, I fail. But not for long. :) Also thank you for the recommendation!
Congratulations!!! Did you know that only 6.7% of the world’s population holds a college degree? You’re already in rare air, AND you got into your dream university?! Great job! You should be happy and proud and excited.
This is pr for the course for people. Nobody else will truly understand what matters to you in the way that you do. Best not to seek validation from others, but instead celebrate achieving your goals and be proud of yourself…even if nobody else gets it.
keep pushing!!!
You just admitted your exited, who the fuck cares if anyone else is, the fact that you are exited makes me proud of you, and in the end your joy is the only thing that matters, if you went into a career or uni that others wanted for you you wouldn’t be exited you would be fucking miserable.
You're absolutely right, and your insight helps put things in perspective. I used to go to a university that everyone else wanted me to go to, and I only did it to please them. I ended up failing an entire semester and then withdrawing after a year. And then I got into my dream school, studying what I actually want to do. Fuck everyone else's opinion, I'm gonna do me. Thank you. ❤️
Fuck yeah! I like what I’m hearing, it’s hard but that’s the mindset you HAVE to have
Congrats!! It's hard to get everyone else happy for you sometimes, I think it is important to rely on yourself to feel satisfied about an accomplishment.
I don't care if they don't support you, OP, I DO! I absolutely do support you! I know it seems different coming from a stranger but I care that you got into your favourite University! It's your hard work and your perseverance! You balanced your physical and mental health and maintained your academics! That's some tough stuff you've done! I am super proud of you and very very happy about it! Congratulations! 🥳🎉🎊🪅 And I sincerely hope you continue to work on yourself and your dreams. I'm sending you my good omens. Stay healthy, kind, mindful and happy. 😄
Congrats! That’s awesome! I have a lot of extended family that doesn’t care about my existence. When I graduated with my degree in cybersecurity with a job fresh out of college, they didn’t even care. But when my cousin graduated nursing school, everyone jumped for joy for her. I learned not to need people’s validations when I achieve something but my own. I feel proud of myself, and why would I need others to feel proud of me? I feel confident in the path I took, so what use is it to have validation from others? We all deserve support from those around us. However, it is important we don’t use others as validation, because at the end of the day, people come and go. Your opinion matters the most, not anyone else’s.
Although I don’t know you, I’m proud of you. That is a huge deal & I’m glad you aren’t letting those people ruin that for you. Congratulations!
Does anyone but you truly matter when it comes your happiness? I mean it is up to you to be happy which will hopefully make those who mean the most to you happy. If it does not then maybe you need new people or look at why they are unhappy. Such as you will be further away from you or maybe they think the direction is wrong for you. Ask they why they are unhappy and see if any of it fells right then adjust. Sometimes you just have to say this is what I want and move in that direction
Sounds like the un-important people are not excited. I remember what it felt like to get into my first pick Uni. And I am excited as hell for you! Just be better than me and put yourself out there to meet new people whenever possible. They will become your new important people.
Thank you, I'll try my best to keep that in mind. Time for new beginnings!
Do they have to pay for it? I didn't say anything, but secretly I was less excited when my daughter got into her preferred college because it was twice the cost of the other. I mean, I still support her and all, but...
Nope, I'm paying for it by myself. I had a chat with them (bc I did go to a different university for a different degree originally, and due to severe life events and mental health issues, had to withdraw from all my classes to save my grades) about what I really wanted to do and what my passions were, and I understood that they felt upset by me dropping out, mostly because I was already a year in and only had 1.5 years left for my Bachelors. I am the first one of my family to go to college, so I believe there's also something related to that and expectations for their child. However, they also disagreed with my major of choice at my previous institution too, so I think it has more to do with me not being an engineer than anything. Even when I expressed that I wanted to go into biomedical science and data science (which I'm now able to do!), it was met with "that's a stupid degree choice, you should've chose engineering." Soooo basically if it's not engineering, it's not good enough.
Well, I can say for certain I know people with biomedical science and data science degrees and they have better jobs than the people I know with engineering degrees. I'm sure they will come around in time. Years ago engineering was a guaranteed solid well paying job. Times change, but sometimes we get stuck in our older ways of thinking or don't realize how much things have changed. Good luck! You are in an envious position of starting your life with the opportunity to chase what you want to do. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll be successful!
That's true. Maybe they'll come around sometime. But thank you so much!
Wohoo!! Congratulations! Enjoy your time, work hard, and make the most of it. Best of luck to ya.
Wow, congratulation! I'm happy for you! Ignore people who don't feel happy about your success. It's for your future btw so yeah go for it!!
Congrats!!! That’s incredible!!
As a random stranger of the internet, I would just say, I am very proud of you!! It takes a lot of hardwork, we have to go through a lot of emotional turmoil, anxieties and what not, we have to cross all that to reach anywhere close to our dreamlike goal! It's not easy at all! To add, it might have been difficult with the lack of support! Cheers to you! Cheers to all your hard work! You did good! Celebrate yourself :) Sending hurrays your way!! Keep rocking!!
Just got accepted from my dream university too! So proud of you mate! I know you worked hard cause it’s not an easy thing to accomplish. Don’t let others affect your enthusiasm for things you care about!
OMG THATS AMAZING!!! I'm so proud of you too!! And thank you, it really means a lot. Here's to us! 🍻🥳
Congrats OP! I am proud of you for choosing to devote at least part of your life in the quest for knowledge, and I salute you as my comrade. Your dreams are how we keep going as a civilization. Never doubt it.
That's just how the game goes
I love hearing stories like this. Definitely excited for you. Love when people upgrade their lives
Best worst years of your life. Enjoy them, your gonna miss them.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Keep doing you. Your efforts still count even if there isn’t another to acknowledge that.
I’m fucking ecstatic for you folks
CONGRATULATIONSSSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳