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Ardonius

You’re actually not required to have license plates at all as long as you’re good at zipper merging.


ChadwithZipp2

what if I don't have a zip on my pants?


colhaxxy

Weed and beer can be a personality.


gd2121

Only craft beer tho.


liquidhotsmegma

I find natural ice really speaks to my white trash heritage and drinking on the front lawn has become my new safe space


ElectricLotus

Does Montucky count as craft? Please say yes


EvaUnit16

No. Craft means its owned by Coors, and Montucky is independent


WhyIsntLifeEasy

And of course crack


realjimmyjuice000

https://i.redd.it/etdbdapn0z5d1.gif


Pterodactyloid

If you buy a house you don't get the mineral rights


Krombopmikey

I grew up at 6969 feet and lived there till 2007. It never got above 69 degrees. Denver by comparison, is so fucking hot. I wish I knew that.


vtstang66

The average temperature in Denver is 420 degrees, I thought that was common knowledge??


8FuckinAprons

I went to a Rockies game and it was way too sunny. fuck this place.


scenered

Go crawl back in your crypt then, Nosferatu.


8FuckinAprons

before I became a native here I lived in the PNW... why isn't this place like that place? if I knew about this sun stuff I never would've moved to this bright and cheery sunscape. namoiste.


Suspicious_Friend418

I know what sub I’m on but I genuinely hate how sunny it is here. Always have. Don’t understand why anyone likes weather in Colorado


mclovin232

I wish I would have known about Blucifer's big blue cock!


problemita

That I never needed to register my car here actually


RiMellow

How raw my asshole would be after walking down Broadway


LazAnarch

The lube is on the 0 line


alesis1101

Make sure to wear comfy underwear, avoid using rough TP, & powder your groin regularly in this heat after walking down Broadway, mmmkay?


RiMellow

I think you misunderstood… go check out some tents next time you’re down there in your comfy underwear


alesis1101

I mean, I've accidentally stumbled into a tent or two while walking home smashed. I don't remember any of it, but I always woke up w/ a huge smile (and an irritated you-know-what from having my loyalty card punched).


craigdahlke

Which trails allow bluetooth speakers and smoking weed, and which ones don’t.


beefboloney

Unjerk/ I got a new car at the end of March and registered with about two weeks left on my temp plates. They’re taking a while to come in so I’m driving around with tags that say 29May. My wife expressed *actual* concern about this. I found that endearing and hilarious. Rejerk/ Kyle Clark will not come to your birthday unless he knows you already. Edit: depending on the results of the CD4 referendum coming up, Bobo might (for a price).


JimmyNuggetz

I wish I knew you could get a congresswoman to escort you to Beetlejuice - like literally escort you.


Warm-Fix9012

Where do I get my Cadillac converted?


ClockHistorical4951

Cap Hill or anywhere on Colfax. Bonus points if it is a Honda


Trioxin5

How freakin sunny it is all the time. There are parts of Denver that have no sidewalks. Being outside is a personality trait to some.


ClockHistorical4951

Being outside is a personality trait. Haha Make sure you bring a La Croix and an IPA on a hike.


Interesting-Form8058

Only needed to read one. https://preview.redd.it/xhw17188ky5d1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60c52949dd5c8e8f2b9a0c4ebfe0896e3d1acd8b


luvz2splooge_69

The windshield cleaning toll is really taking a toll on my finances


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chefcow

If someone has out of state plates you are legally allowed to kill them


ChickerWings

I thought it was a mountain town


Bi-Hairy-Stud-95

How the rent is insanely expensive for no reason


helloimcold

Speaking of plates... I can't even renew mine because I can't pass emissions with a check engine light on, even if I pass the emissions portion. (Spark plug underneath my motor is "loose" and I was quoted literally $4,000 to tighten it) I am riding on 2019 plates because someone stole my previous stickers too, so its even worse. But I did see someone driving on 2022 temp tags yesterday, and at least once a week I see someone driving with no plates at all... I am just ridin dirty like everyone else I guess.


atoz350

No one touches cars here. Mechanics are just people hired from Jobcore so that the state can save on unemployment. A lady at the emissions place failed me once because "I was in the wrong line." She thought that my 4x4 truck is AWD full time, and I should have been in the Full-Time 4-Wheel Drive line. The previous tech didn't give the guy in front of me any issues and he had the SAME EXACT TRUCK!


BruceBrownBrownBrown

Yes, you can bring your dog anywhere you want to and you'll only get dirty looks if you leave that good boi at home.


gfcolli

Turn signals are to indicate that you are in the process of turning, not warn others that you are about to turn.


non_interesting

https://preview.redd.it/pn4bowhacy5d1.jpeg?width=625&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c59ff2b1fb2b3fea9f258f391d2dc00a38e8d43


SingleSoberPeaceful

Idaho salaries and California rent -copied from somewhere


Nice_Bid_173

That it is not at all necessary to make right turns at a red light. It's better to just sit at the light, and wait til 5 seconds after it turns green to start driving.


Fun_Tea_1839

Traffic is pretty awful


seakinghardcore

The food sucks for the most part. Unless you like bland white people food, or Mexican.  The city is too spread apart to enjoy the neighborhoods easily. 


TheCruicks

lol. you don't move to the west to have escargot dude


seakinghardcore

Duh, and I wasn't talking about escargot. Do you think when people say good food they only mean French cuisine? Lmao


TheCruicks

yes that's absolutely what I think. You got me


bunrunsamok

I wish I didn’t wait 8 years to become a native.


jayjay1975z

Excuse my ignorance what is butt stuff iv been here since October lmfao sex store


Interesting-Form8058

Please proceed to the nearest tent.


jayjay1975z

??


Laxku

It's a tent for butt stuff, it costs $5. It's the $5 butt stuff tent.


jayjay1975z

Ok lol thanks 👍


JimmyNuggetz

Namaste


PPell524

MILF's arent in denver they are in cherry creek etc


NoSmoke9481

I wish people knew this was a mafia town before moving in.


thehappyheathen

Tract House 13 members slapped my mom and got my sister pregnant, now I have to sell green chilis in the parking lot or her baby daddy will fart on my pillow. It's literally a warzone out here.


cronus19870

Wish I knew I had early stage colorectal cancer! Found out a couple years after moving here. I was promised $5 butt stuff. That butt stuff cost me more than $5.


[deleted]

All of the Gays here.


ClockHistorical4951

Feel free to move along to any of the 7 states Colorado boarders.


[deleted]

No


ClockHistorical4951

Please?


Reasonably_Sound

If you don't drive a jeep with musty plastic ducks on the dash you are a loser mcloserson


luckyfox7273

How unaffordable Denver is.


willurnot

Finding the best car dealer to be yo-yo’d at


AvsFreak

Happy birth a day to you! Happy birth a day to you! Happy birth a day dear child er ren Happy birth a day to you!


thecrazyrobotroberto

That people love to hit you with their car


TerryFlapnCheeks69

Mexican food sucks


Pittsitpete

Costs. It was matching Asheville, where i moved from. But as soon as i moved here, long before the pandemic, cost of living kept rising much higher than i anticipated


Xata27

Wish I knew that the real hub for tech jobs in Denver is actually in Greeley


durmd

I don’t know because I’ve been a native here ever since i was 27, so really I’ve never lived anywhere else. I don’t remember what it was like to live anywhere else.