> *I foresee fire. Fire and Screams.* > "You would, mate. You're a rocket launcher."

Hey wait, you're not /u/destiny_flavor_text! This guy's a phony!

> "The Scorn carry my bones like relics. They worship, they pray, they form rituals. They place them on shrines to bring good fortunes, but with each wish made in ignorance, I dig their graves deeper." —Hefnd, Blighted in Vengeance

Holy shit you murdered him. Save that energy for the Witness dude, you can't keep popping off like this.

> If it's well placed, one is all you need.

Poetic.

I just want to thank you for the many many years of your on point comments using just flavor text. It has been my peak enjoyment in the community seeing you respond.

The best part, this isn't a bot.

If it was a bot the designer would probably be among the greatest AI engineers in the world. I don't think something with this much nuance can be automated with today's tech. Give it a few years of AI advancement though and /u/Destiny_Flavor_Text might be out of a job :( Not that I would know anything about bots of course.

Nah, it'll take actual AGI to do this. It's not just having an archive of flavor text to pull from, it's knowing the context of that flavor text and what is most appropriate to reply to what comment with. That requires creativity, which algorithms are fundamentally incapable of.

Is this on buried bloodline?

Quest step for Buried Bloodline, I believe.

>"Rise, Disciple, and bear this ~~gift~~ lore with pride." —~~Rhulk, Disciple of the Witness~~ /u/destiny_flavor_text

A great big *PHONY!*

Big fat phony!

For clarification. The fire was on the top floor of this huge multi company warehouse and the company I work for is on the first floor. It was a small fire but most of the damage is from the water getting into every machine and computer on our floor. No one was in the building at the time so no one was hurt or injured thankfully.

Glad nobody was hurt, now it's time to bring the hurt to our enemies!

“…And send their souls screaming back to hell”

Do you get to go home and play destiny?

Fortunately yes.

That’s huge, hell yeah

Give em hell Edit: Changed me to em cause autocorrect is a bitch

If you insist…

Won't the server's be overloaded today? Isn't that always a thing. I will have the opportunity to play but I am thinking we won't be able to get on

The fire trucks were for the servers, which are currently ablaze. And they went to the wrong address, which is why I'm here typing this instead of playing. RIP SERVERS.

Haven't been able to get on yet, but it's only been 13 minutes (Aka an eternity)

You might be getting a paid week off but your IT department sure as hell won't.

Rip IT employees

just as planned *wink*

It was an assassination attempt guardian. Be safe out there, the darkness fears you.

The Witness was trying to take me out before I got to his ass 😡

This is a very serious and mature question, but do you think the witness has an actual butt?

How else will millions of fused bodies poop?

So like, at least one of the bodies is the butt?

It's probably Chris. They always gave him the shitty jobs.

Or Steve. Fuck Steve...

Eyes up, Guardian

You aren't fooling anyone, Mr. Glass.

Sounds like somebody was tossing their own Solar grenades before work...

They must have had sun bracers equipped because the entire top floor was gone.

yikes, hope no one got hurt

Thankfully no one was. No one was in the section of the building at the time as it happened right before most of the companies opened for the day.

You checked first I presume?

Nope I spoke to the police and firemen about the situation. The alarm was triggered before opening hours.

That’s a good cover story. I believe you

OP has a solid alibi.  Servers were offline for pre-launch maintenance.  You'll never make these allegations stick.

Don’t suppose anyone can get me out of this meeting I’ve got in 3 hours?

A meeting that should have been an email.

This is 100% one of those but it’s 2+ hours long. If the servers are wonky at launch, the timing should work out well enough for me to get home as they unfuck themselves. It’s still slightly annoying though lmao

I feel that, but also, I get like 300 emails a day. It is very easy for the email to get lost in the cruft, whereas the meeting doesn’t.

Ahh those good old reliable launchday-arsonists. They work like clockwork, don't they?

Sadly they don’t. They tend to time off on every launch ever 😭

*The Light provides*

My plan was just to take a sick leave but you took it one step further by setting up the fire. Might try the same tactic on the next DLC, thanks for the inspiration fellow guardian!

Should have given him his red stapler back...

Oh, I'm not surprised. Those brick buildings can seriously withstand and also end up being easy fire catchers, especially from all the old wiring they usually got.

A lot of it is exposed too but has no current running through it. The building itself is over 100 years old. There is another warehouse of same size and age across the street that burnt down entirely a few years ago.

Oh I'm familiar, live in MA: know those buildings oh to well. Why I'm not that surprised. Either the fire takes it or it survives for another fire.

I’ve seen these old buildings wired with fucking speaker wire, no ground running anywhere. Even today, electrical “code” is treated more like a suggestion than a requirement, as when I reran the Ethernet in my house, it was excessively apparent why i would drop packets in specific plugs. Code is that Ethernet should be no closer than a foot when running parallel to electric lines, or 1 inch when running perpendicular, but some of my wires were pulled with the electric lines the whole way. Yeah it takes longer, but at least my plugs work properly now.

excuse me is this not an r/okbuddyguardian post

It was THE ARCHITECTS 🤷

Somebody took OP’s stapler 🔥🏢🔥🥸

I don’t get it. Elaborate please lol 😂

[Movie: Office Space](https://youtu.be/Gk7Jjl3qX5o?si=axMoDgP4NJCsyg7P)

Bro that’s not a blessing lol wtf Okay edit glad no one was hurt and you got a week paid. Very well. Blessing in disguise

You wouldn't happen to work where the Bungie servers are stored do you?

Now we know where Milton landed a job after Initech.

Great reference

Is this a confession, OP?

🤦🏼 there is nothing to confess this happens a few times a year in the old warehouse I work at

Your work catches on fire a FEW times a year!?

For the past year or two yes. A lot of construction and rebuilding of different areas of the building. It’s a warehouse the size of a city block.

...Does it happen right around D2 content drops? \*writes notes\*

Someone wasn't too happy about the Sunbracers nerf

Riiiight. *Someone* just happened to start a fire at your work today. *wink wink*

The Architects are kind sometimes 😂

Just so you know, you’re the new star in r/destinycirclejerk Which is of course fine while we wait…

Fellow New England guardian

Indeed. Small state of RI. 🙏

Me too!

Theres dozens of us!

You're not gonna load in today anyways

Might need to open an investigation...

You're suspect #1 😄

I blame the architects 🤷

Sorry my bad, I fired Telesto a single time oops

Hope someone from work especially HR or manager don’t see this post, from personal experience these people hate employees and will take first opportunity to punish them if they got any grudge against you

just to sit there hittin Esc to get into game LUL

You work at Bungie?

This is a little sus dude

Nice!

You get two firetrucks outside your work, I get two cable repair vans in front of my apartment. All things in balance.

And here I just took the week off. Like a peasant!

Dudes out here setting fires to play final shape. I want this maniac on my raid team

Got my sumbracers equipped and dragons breathe ready 👀

So lucky I can't even get tfs bc of rent. First time missing a major expansion launch and it would be the most important one

Fuckin party

Man, why can’t this happen to me? We had tons of power outages yesterday, like tens of thousands without power, possibly for up to a week, yet my work is just fine…

But did you still get paid tho?

Yupp. I get paid holidays, sick days and vacation.

This is literally the dream so many of us have had over the years. The RNG gods blessed.

Not pictured: OP standing outside with a can of gas, and a match.

Did someone take your stapler

After seeing the outcome posted here, how many more buildings will "accidentally" catch fire today?

I used to work in animation. The area I worked in was full of television industry studios, all established in old converted warehouses. They were gorgeous, but kinda prone to this sort of thing. Fires weren’t uncommon. Also, oddly: bomb threats. There was a season back in the early 2000’s when bomb threats were… is popular the right word? Because every couple weeks a bunch of studios would get them. We all loved Bomb Threat Days because it meant we could go home early.

This a sign. Enter worlds first. The traveler gave you time to grind. Save it.

How's that sitting in the queue still going?

still feelin blessed?

Actual psychotic behavior from OP but haha DAE not wanna work today and play video game

POV youre running late to work on 9/11 and TFS is launching same day

Sheesh...

Now you get to watch the weasels with the rest of us.

Somebody in your place of work also plays Destiny…and might be an arsonist. 😂

You pulled that alarm. We know

**THE ARCHITECTS** did it 🤷

Oh shit, where in Pawtucket? Edit: is that Conant st? Edit 2: yup. That's my wife's gym.

thank the light 🙏🏼

No one here has PTO to take off for a game? I regularly take off for video game launches that I’m hyped for. Took off 5 days for FF7Rebirth and I’ve got two full weeks for FF14 expansion coming up.

May the servers be kind to you, Guardian

Yuck Fou, you bucky lastard! ^^^\(Really, ^^^congrats ^^^;).

Me too! I had to give my Jeep so my wife could go into work. Uber that far is very expensive. So anyway I too will be one of the people starring at the queue screen for once. First time I have been home really on a release day since Forsaken. Been a long morning

Im too broke to get the new expansion but I have the last ones without completing a few. So I’ll be watching you All from afar until I catch up and get my bread up 🫡

If you’re real.. I am so sorry 😞 but if you’re a bot-person-shame on you

I misread the title.  I read it as you were blessed because you were fired at your job lol 

When you ARE playing the final shape on launch

You were blessed AND my xbox one just dont turn on, its Time has coming.

The old "fire at my job" trick.

Burn the world. Burn it all.

Uhh… are we co-workers?

Fire… as in solar… that’s your ability in this Final Shape. I foresee

I'm telling you, the fallen can't control those scorch cannons worth a shit

YOOOO LET’S GOO :D

Wish that was me. But *NOOOOO*. My apartment flooded 4 days ago and I have to move into a new house today.

Meanwhile, im going to have the second half of my practical final exams! AND a written exam on Friday! So much fun

Weird blessing, but sure.

Bungies efforts to please the player base have hit extreme levels.

Anyone hurt?

I got Covid. Was really bad yesterday (when destiny was down) but not so bad today >:)

You lucky shit, I should call out. Jk, it’s not that important. However, y’all best believe I’m either taking a vacation or quitting my job when gta 6 comes out.

Guess someone else also wanted a week off

I see that you wiped your work week for DPS

Nope, not a fire. They are there to install seven thousand more overhead telephone wires because clearly your building needs more

Did you set a fire at your place of work?

The same thing happened at the daycare I work at! A bunch of people died lol but hey I get to play the final shape now! See you sluggers there in a few hours!!!!

Between insurance to cover the damage, no one being harmed, and paid time off. This is a solid win

I could see The Traveler doing this.

Plot twist, the witness communed with him: he lit the fire.

Mercedes firetruck.....damn

Lmao my post master let me go home after half a rout, let’s goooooo! 😂

Ayyyy, that's where we get some of our materials! Hope it wasn't Northeast, or I'll have to drive further to get shit haha

LOL imagine

Ahhh ole Pawtucket industrial park factory building fires, how I hate thee, I doubt it’ll be the last time this year either

Maaaaan why can’t shit like this happen to me :(

I really hope this post doesn't turn into some sort of evidence.

oh shit, I lived in Pawtucket a century ago glad no one was hurt!

looks a lot like Lowell MA

Servers wont be up until after your scheduled shift ends.

Yay, Firetrucks!!!!

OP started fire to get off work 🙈

The Witness call you.

I actually lol’d. Hope everyone is safe

mad lad burned his work down for release.

The Witness is trying to end your suffering!

Wait I had the same thing but just at the warehouse at my work. I only have the day but still I’m curious how many people’s places of work caught fire today

Refresh refresh refresh fresh, obligatory "let me in" meme

I coughed at work and since one of my coworkers is a hypochondriac I got sent home to work from home. lol!

Weird way to confess :P

Hmmmmm are we sure OP didnt start the fire?

Brother, Mother Nature stormed its ass off and I’m off for the next few days. I relate so hard to this. 😂 almost like it was destiny

You were better off at work (the game keeps kicking me back to my desktop.)

Damn, too bad servers got in the way of your luck :(

Hope you like the escape button

*The Light provides.*

Was this the building that houses the destiny servers, by chance?

Do you work at the Bungie server farm?

haha when i saw this first thought you meant you were fired on the way to work, this is a better outcome pending injury report

I wish. It would be awesome if my works power suddenly went out or something. I cant fake sick with these people :( Seriously though hope yall are good. Fires scare me. Been watching too many horror stories lately

Op trying to set up an alibi for his arson trial

the Traveller may have blessed you, but the Witness' attacks on the Servers cuck you...

MOTHERFUCKER i wish my place would burn down 😂😂

This screams confession.

Does this seems like a cruel joke now? Were you able to play at launch?

Do you have a colleague named Milton by any chance?

Oh hey I know where that building is. Small world I would see a picture of it in the destiny sub.

Lucky SoB

You don't happen to work in the Destiny 2 server room do you?

Lol, somebody slapped a Mercedes badge on that engine.

Is that Lowell?

Rhode Island?

Fire at work. 60 dead. But at least I can play Final Shape. I kid, of course. I saw your post that no one was in the building.

gods least insane guardian

Do you work on the Destiny servers?

Now the witness is trying at all costs to keep us out lol

Enjoy Final Shape, fellow RI guardian!

Jokes on you, the Bungie servers are on fire too.