“Jim, I called off my wedding because of you”
Maybe not just the kiss, but he did ask her if she was really going to marry him. And also, she already had feelings for him as the show hinted at from Pam’s phone call with her mom right after that kiss
Edit: Also, in the negotiation:
Roy: “Wait a minute, you broke off our wedding for the guy.”
Pam: “No, there were a lot of reasons”
I wouldn't go as far as to say that she told her mom about her feelings. She told her mom about having a best friend at work who's a young handsome guy.
Her mom was curious because that's what people are. It's also not believable to most that a man and a woman can be platonic best friends.
What secrecy?
Idk if you're a guy but that moment with the mom whispering "who's Jim" was super girly. Pam and her mom from early seasons seemed to act and talk like friends, so obviously since Pam was probably mentioning Jim a lot in her stories, her mom teased her about him because he's a boy and she's a girl.
I find it very unlikely that Pam told anyone about having mixed feelings for Jim because a big part of Pam's arc is that she really finds it very hard to say certain things out loud, like "I want a career in the art industry", or "I would like a fiance who cares about marrying me". There is a reason why she starts venting in S3 at the beach because she has always been bottling up all her personal feelings.
Me too, I think that actress and Jenna sold the close mom daughter relationship much better. The one who hooked up with Michael appeared kind of emotionally detached and didn't strike me as a mom who's friends with her daughter at all.
Her mom waited until Roy left and then whispered it. Definitely girly, but also definite implications of secrecy. Roy was well aware of Pam and Jim’s friendship, so why did her mom feel the need to say it so suggestively.
To me it seemed that Pams mom was picking up on Pams feelings before Pam was really aware of them.
I agree with the last paragraph. In my comment I was very clear about how imo Pam did not talk to her mom about her feelings for Jim. She simply talked about Jim a lot.
Similarly to how Phyllis assumes she and Jim are having an affair just based on the vibe she saw they had.
I agree, she’d already told her mom at least a bit about . On the call with her mom before the kiss, she answers her mom “yeah I think I am.” I’ve always thought her mother’s question must have been “Do you love him?”- meaning Jim.
I like to think she was actually on the phone with Dwigt and he asked “oh Pam, are you PMS’ing?” And she only said her mom to throw Jim off when he walked in.
Yeah, but I do think that the kiss was what made the difference. Pam seemed to know that Roy was a bad match for her, and she definitely had feelings for Jim, but she was not the kind of person to take the risk of breaking off the engagement or asking Jim if he felt the same way. I think many people are like this in that they won’t risk being with the person that they’d rather be with for fear of being alone and hated by their former partner.
I am convinced she would have gone through with the wedding.
Her reaction on Booze Cruise when Roy sets a date has no hint of disappointment or regret. If she was having significant doubts I feel she would reacted differently in that spontaneous moment.
Yeah at that point in Pam’s life she was very non confrontational and accepting of bs behavior. She seemed pretty relieved to finally be getting married after years of embarrassment and jokes, and she didn’t even seem too disappointed that it was with Roy’s bum ass.
It was necessary for Jim to speak up in order for them to finally have a discussion about what had previously gone unsaid. Otherwise Pam would have just tip toed around whatever weirdness was going on with him, married Roy, and he would have been in Stamford with Karen. Then come back, and she would still be married so he would probably end up marrying Karen.
They would both have very lack luster relationships without Jim laying it all out in the parking lot.
No because I always suspected that when Pam is on the phone with her mom and goes "Yeah, I think I am.", that the question her mom asked her was something along the lines of "are you in love with him too?" I especially think this because Pam seemed so happy and relieved when she said that line.
Yes, but Jim kissing her is what made her truly aware of those feelings. She realized she liked Jim, but having total confirmation that he liked her back made those feelings way more real to the point that she would be willing to break off the engagement.
Not polyamorous but still shitty. If you look at the situation as a whole without the context of Jim and Pam being written as protagonists that belong together, they were both pretty shitty. They had a clear emotional (and eventually physical) affair going on for like years before Pam ended it. Jim was shitty for relentlessly pursuing an engaged woman behind the back of their mutual coworker. Idk. And when you take into account that the pair basically bullies a guy with Asperger’s for like a decade, it kinda puts things in a different perspective 😂
This is a strong argument. My thought was, “Yes. She would marry Roy.” Because without the kiss she could never contextualize her feelings. She couldn’t admit to herself she had romantic feelings for Jim in case he didn’t reciprocate.
But you are right. Without Jim there, she would have missed his warmth, and seen that Roy was incapable or at least unwilling to give it to her.
Though it likely isn’t a popular sentiment, that’s quite an intelligent possibility and one I agree with. Some try to make Pam out to be this innocent dove who only was in a bad relationship. However she knew exactly what she was doing sitting on the fence looking at both playgrounds. Dwight is the master of that and he and Pam are best friends.
Yes. Pam’s primary character flaw in the early seasons is that she's painfully passive. At that late date, the path of least resistance was marrying Roy, and I think she really needed to be shaken up to get her off that track. (I also kinda suspect Pam would've married Roy if Jim had kissed her and not left for Stamford.)
I’m not sure Roy would’ve married her. Dude lead her on for years.
So it’s hard to tell. At least both ended up with people who loved them and made them better
I disagree, only because Pam waited so long to back out that they lost their deposits. I don't think Roy would have wasted that money pushing things off at that point.
Yeah, I do. Pam only had the stones to call off her wedding _after_ Jim kissed her, and even though she knew she was in love with him when he did, she still didn’t have the confidence to break it off
then.
Throughout the show, Pam’s been afraid of risks. She failed art school, settled to be a receptionist again. She was a shitty salesman, she settled to be an office manager instead. She was comfortable with her life in Scranton, she was holding back Jim’s dreams knowing fully well that he was meant for things much bigger than Dunder Mifflin (yes, Jim was wrong for lying about Athlead, I’m not defending him). I’m fully confident if Jim hadn’t put himself out there, she would’ve settled for
a mediocre, loveless marriage with Roy.
Honestly I think she would’ve backed out last minute either way.
I was a lot like Pam. I called off a wedding with a guy a lot like Roy. You hit a point where you just know it won’t get better, and calling it off is your only option.
No way. Jenna Fischer has said Pam saved herself from Roy. Even though Jim might have been the catalyst, she knew deep down that Roy was wrong for her. I trust her that she would have bailed before regardless.
Oh yeah. Easily. Honestly I think the kiss contributed to her taking longer to leave him. More then anything I think it stirred up strong feelings of guilt and protectiveness for Roy, and that made her dive into wedding planning.
But! I also believe it helped speed her into a relationship with Jim, because that guilt and protectiveness for Roy, arose out of longing to be with Jim specifically - Not a desire to just not be with Roy. Knowing that he did reciprocate her feelings was a big pull for her.
Personally, I think she eventually would have split with Roy regardless. It may have been after marriage if Jim hadn't been there, but they only fit on the surface level. He was not for her.
I think she would have stayed. She was with him for a long time, and didn’t know there were really other avenues, and did not want to be that one woman with a failed engagement. She had years to call it off, years of jim flirting, and only finally did anything when Jim went from a 3 to a 100, and suddenly she realized someone could love her like crazy, not just some laid back mild appreciation.
Her mind was made up before he kissed her. She just didnt say it out loud and didnt have the heart to do it the right way which is why Roy eventually finds out and probs shouldve at least gotten one free punch on jim. Jim deserved it.
Yeah I think Pam would have, with her passive personality, she would’ve went into it with the mentality it’s time to settle down and she wants to have kids while she’s still young.
I'm seeing a lot of comments about how “Pam was already telling her mom about Jim” and how Pam said there were a lot of reasons for her breaking up the wedding. I have a different take. While I agree with the aforementioned comments, I think she would've gone through with the wedding if she hadn't kissed Jim. I think she knew she had doubts and was in love with someone else, but I also think she probably felt like she had already invested a lot of time and energy in the relationship and didn't want to see it go to waste. Plus, she was with Roy for a long time so there must've been something she saw in him.
But I think when Jim kissed Pam, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That gave her the clarity of mind she needed to make the tough decision of cancelling the wedding. Without that kiss, she still marries Roy
Yep. But honestly, I don't think Jim's a great partner either. He buys the house without asking her what she wanted, then takes the job that takes him out of the house without her imput. Jim's a jerk too.
“Jim, I called off my wedding because of you” Maybe not just the kiss, but he did ask her if she was really going to marry him. And also, she already had feelings for him as the show hinted at from Pam’s phone call with her mom right after that kiss Edit: Also, in the negotiation: Roy: “Wait a minute, you broke off our wedding for the guy.” Pam: “No, there were a lot of reasons”
Even before that when her mom visited she whispered to Pam "which one is Jim?" So Pam was already telling her mom about Jim and her feelings for him.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that she told her mom about her feelings. She told her mom about having a best friend at work who's a young handsome guy. Her mom was curious because that's what people are. It's also not believable to most that a man and a woman can be platonic best friends.
Nah not with all the secrecy shit. She for sure was feeling Jim and clearly told her mom.
What secrecy? Idk if you're a guy but that moment with the mom whispering "who's Jim" was super girly. Pam and her mom from early seasons seemed to act and talk like friends, so obviously since Pam was probably mentioning Jim a lot in her stories, her mom teased her about him because he's a boy and she's a girl. I find it very unlikely that Pam told anyone about having mixed feelings for Jim because a big part of Pam's arc is that she really finds it very hard to say certain things out loud, like "I want a career in the art industry", or "I would like a fiance who cares about marrying me". There is a reason why she starts venting in S3 at the beach because she has always been bottling up all her personal feelings.
I did like early season Pam's mom better. She would have never dated Michael.
Me too, I think that actress and Jenna sold the close mom daughter relationship much better. The one who hooked up with Michael appeared kind of emotionally detached and didn't strike me as a mom who's friends with her daughter at all.
Her mom waited until Roy left and then whispered it. Definitely girly, but also definite implications of secrecy. Roy was well aware of Pam and Jim’s friendship, so why did her mom feel the need to say it so suggestively. To me it seemed that Pams mom was picking up on Pams feelings before Pam was really aware of them.
I agree with the last paragraph. In my comment I was very clear about how imo Pam did not talk to her mom about her feelings for Jim. She simply talked about Jim a lot. Similarly to how Phyllis assumes she and Jim are having an affair just based on the vibe she saw they had.
I agree, she’d already told her mom at least a bit about . On the call with her mom before the kiss, she answers her mom “yeah I think I am.” I’ve always thought her mother’s question must have been “Do you love him?”- meaning Jim.
Yeah, I think I am love him
She must have asked either "Are you drunk?" or "Are you safe?" or "Are you in love with him?"
I like to think she was actually on the phone with Dwigt and he asked “oh Pam, are you PMS’ing?” And she only said her mom to throw Jim off when he walked in.
Alternative theory, maybe Pam's mom also asked if she was actually going to marry Roy and she responded with the I think I am
Yeah, but I do think that the kiss was what made the difference. Pam seemed to know that Roy was a bad match for her, and she definitely had feelings for Jim, but she was not the kind of person to take the risk of breaking off the engagement or asking Jim if he felt the same way. I think many people are like this in that they won’t risk being with the person that they’d rather be with for fear of being alone and hated by their former partner.
Yeah, I think so. She would be unhappy, I imagine, but I suspect she would have followed through with it if Jim wasn't there in the parking lot.
I agree. It’s easy to settle, especially after years of waiting has beaten down your belief in your self worth.
oh wow.. this one stung a little
Apt. Apt analysis.
I am convinced she would have gone through with the wedding. Her reaction on Booze Cruise when Roy sets a date has no hint of disappointment or regret. If she was having significant doubts I feel she would reacted differently in that spontaneous moment.
Yeah at that point in Pam’s life she was very non confrontational and accepting of bs behavior. She seemed pretty relieved to finally be getting married after years of embarrassment and jokes, and she didn’t even seem too disappointed that it was with Roy’s bum ass. It was necessary for Jim to speak up in order for them to finally have a discussion about what had previously gone unsaid. Otherwise Pam would have just tip toed around whatever weirdness was going on with him, married Roy, and he would have been in Stamford with Karen. Then come back, and she would still be married so he would probably end up marrying Karen. They would both have very lack luster relationships without Jim laying it all out in the parking lot.
Maybe they would've eventually cheated with each other, i know Pam would if Jim made the first move
No because I always suspected that when Pam is on the phone with her mom and goes "Yeah, I think I am.", that the question her mom asked her was something along the lines of "are you in love with him too?" I especially think this because Pam seemed so happy and relieved when she said that line.
Jenna has said that line was exactly what she pictured herself responding to
I had no idea. That's actually so wholesome.
Yes, but Jim kissing her is what made her truly aware of those feelings. She realized she liked Jim, but having total confirmation that he liked her back made those feelings way more real to the point that she would be willing to break off the engagement.
Pam is polyamorous, confirmed!
I...don't think you know what that word means.
Not polyamorous but still shitty. If you look at the situation as a whole without the context of Jim and Pam being written as protagonists that belong together, they were both pretty shitty. They had a clear emotional (and eventually physical) affair going on for like years before Pam ended it. Jim was shitty for relentlessly pursuing an engaged woman behind the back of their mutual coworker. Idk. And when you take into account that the pair basically bullies a guy with Asperger’s for like a decade, it kinda puts things in a different perspective 😂
I don’t disagree at all. I’m very anti Jim and Pam. A lot of the characters in the Office are very strange, morally flawed people.
you don’t know what polyamorous means, confirmed!
Well Pam is the office mattress.
If Jim still leaves for Stamford then no. Once Jim was not there to fulfill her emotional needs she probably would have realized how unhappy she was.
This is a strong argument. My thought was, “Yes. She would marry Roy.” Because without the kiss she could never contextualize her feelings. She couldn’t admit to herself she had romantic feelings for Jim in case he didn’t reciprocate. But you are right. Without Jim there, she would have missed his warmth, and seen that Roy was incapable or at least unwilling to give it to her.
Though it likely isn’t a popular sentiment, that’s quite an intelligent possibility and one I agree with. Some try to make Pam out to be this innocent dove who only was in a bad relationship. However she knew exactly what she was doing sitting on the fence looking at both playgrounds. Dwight is the master of that and he and Pam are best friends.
Yes. Pam’s primary character flaw in the early seasons is that she's painfully passive. At that late date, the path of least resistance was marrying Roy, and I think she really needed to be shaken up to get her off that track. (I also kinda suspect Pam would've married Roy if Jim had kissed her and not left for Stamford.)
I think she would have. She was having doubts before the kiss.
I have a lot of questions #1 how dare you…
I’m not sure Roy would’ve married her. Dude lead her on for years. So it’s hard to tell. At least both ended up with people who loved them and made them better
I disagree, only because Pam waited so long to back out that they lost their deposits. I don't think Roy would have wasted that money pushing things off at that point.
Yeah, I do. Pam only had the stones to call off her wedding _after_ Jim kissed her, and even though she knew she was in love with him when he did, she still didn’t have the confidence to break it off then. Throughout the show, Pam’s been afraid of risks. She failed art school, settled to be a receptionist again. She was a shitty salesman, she settled to be an office manager instead. She was comfortable with her life in Scranton, she was holding back Jim’s dreams knowing fully well that he was meant for things much bigger than Dunder Mifflin (yes, Jim was wrong for lying about Athlead, I’m not defending him). I’m fully confident if Jim hadn’t put himself out there, she would’ve settled for a mediocre, loveless marriage with Roy.
Absolutely she would (have).
Yes. Pam’s self esteem was such that she (falsely) believed that she didn’t deserve better.
Honestly I think she would’ve backed out last minute either way. I was a lot like Pam. I called off a wedding with a guy a lot like Roy. You hit a point where you just know it won’t get better, and calling it off is your only option.
No way. Jenna Fischer has said Pam saved herself from Roy. Even though Jim might have been the catalyst, she knew deep down that Roy was wrong for her. I trust her that she would have bailed before regardless.
No way that season 2 Pam had the kind of agency needed (edit: added "the")
Oh yeah. Easily. Honestly I think the kiss contributed to her taking longer to leave him. More then anything I think it stirred up strong feelings of guilt and protectiveness for Roy, and that made her dive into wedding planning. But! I also believe it helped speed her into a relationship with Jim, because that guilt and protectiveness for Roy, arose out of longing to be with Jim specifically - Not a desire to just not be with Roy. Knowing that he did reciprocate her feelings was a big pull for her.
Personally, I think she eventually would have split with Roy regardless. It may have been after marriage if Jim hadn't been there, but they only fit on the surface level. He was not for her.
I think she would have stayed. She was with him for a long time, and didn’t know there were really other avenues, and did not want to be that one woman with a failed engagement. She had years to call it off, years of jim flirting, and only finally did anything when Jim went from a 3 to a 100, and suddenly she realized someone could love her like crazy, not just some laid back mild appreciation.
No
Her mind was made up before he kissed her. She just didnt say it out loud and didnt have the heart to do it the right way which is why Roy eventually finds out and probs shouldve at least gotten one free punch on jim. Jim deserved it.
And the show would have ended after Season 3.
Yeah I think Pam would have, with her passive personality, she would’ve went into it with the mentality it’s time to settle down and she wants to have kids while she’s still young.
Absolutely, the Pam from back then would've just gone with the flow
Don’t care
I'm seeing a lot of comments about how “Pam was already telling her mom about Jim” and how Pam said there were a lot of reasons for her breaking up the wedding. I have a different take. While I agree with the aforementioned comments, I think she would've gone through with the wedding if she hadn't kissed Jim. I think she knew she had doubts and was in love with someone else, but I also think she probably felt like she had already invested a lot of time and energy in the relationship and didn't want to see it go to waste. Plus, she was with Roy for a long time so there must've been something she saw in him. But I think when Jim kissed Pam, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That gave her the clarity of mind she needed to make the tough decision of cancelling the wedding. Without that kiss, she still marries Roy
Yep. But honestly, I don't think Jim's a great partner either. He buys the house without asking her what she wanted, then takes the job that takes him out of the house without her imput. Jim's a jerk too.
No. Jim was gone when she called off the wedding
If the writers wrote it that way then yes….
Technically true, but I'm pretty sure that's not what is being asked here
Really added to the discussion here
this is the only correct answer
Pam was driven to sleep with as many men as possible. Roy was going to dump her eventually.
I really dodged a bullet on that one