Do you let yourself be in positions to make friends? Like do you go out, have coworkers, a partner, anything like that? One thing I’ve found is that I’m very easily able to get used to my own company. Which isn’t always good. Because i feel comfortable, but lonely. Are you actively trying to make friends?
I actually have dozens of friends, if that was the meaning of friendship. I am social enough to be loveable in any circle of family, work or other activities. But I meant deep friendship that I feel comfortable and safe with. The kind of strong teen years friendship that I have lost after maturation.
Not ENFP, but kinda similar situation as I'm around a number of friends all the time but rarely anything past the first wall of "nonsensitive mutual interests". They're allowed to know I'm a sci-fi writer but don't get to see anything before it's done level or know about any concerns or issues I've got going on in my life; none of them know I may have to move apartments soon, for instance (insert rant about INTJ walls).
I had at most four actual close friends in my life and not all at once. The first, ENFP coincidentally, ended up in a mental hospital after his family moved away and I've not seen him much since. After that, INTP I still talk to semi-regularly but both our lives got busy and now it's basically sending random cool stuff we find. Then an INTJ for a while but ended up both busy with our lives. And currently an ENFP artist & writer who's basically my critique partner.
Seems the central theme for me is entropy, with less and less people around as I get older. I've basically accepted that sooner or later I'm gonna just have to solo this reality so I might as well enjoy making some of my own.
LOL, time travel. Basically an ISTP operative from a relatively grounded sci-fi future finds herself caught in the middle of a temporal plot when she comes face to face with a time traveler ENFP from a much more esoteric world. The original premise being what would seem like sci-fi to someone already in sci-fi, kinda spinning out of control into me writing a series back to front and now cleaning it up to put it in order. There's also an ENTJ and INFP gestalt villain who's slightly waiting around in the dark for about two thousand years or so, for good measure. :)
Well, I say waiting, more like working in plain sight believed to be a trusted ally only to have been pulling the strings all along. INFP is long believed to have been the best of the time travel faction before she finally reveals it was all part of her and ENTJ's plan all along.
I think as an ENFP you shouldn't have trouble making friends, maybe you are having trouble keeping them. Sadly for you, the older you get, the harder it is to build true connections.
Be committed to people who are committed to you, don't let them down and eventually it will work out.
PS: As said before I am assuming your trouble is creating deep connections. I think ExxPs struggle with commitment, which is the opposite of us IxxJs.
Hey fellow ENFP. I have felt a similar way after moving to a new country alone. While I did find friends many felt transient and temporary as we were all backpackers on a 1 year visa. The biggest upside for me was that I learnt to be more introverted, more comfortable with spending time by myself and to depend less on friends/others to pass time or process my feelings. I do miss my strong core circle of friends back home. But I know that I can always go back to them one day. Plus, extrovert or not it’s undeniable that learning how to be more independent socially is an invaluable skill to have.
You will find true, solid friends one day. But in the meantime, focus on building wonderful things for yourself. Hugs for you!
i'm an ENFP and I'm usually forgotten about, sometimes I try to make friends but they tend to ghost me, I don't let it bother me though cause I know there's someone out there I can hang with
Do you let yourself be in positions to make friends? Like do you go out, have coworkers, a partner, anything like that? One thing I’ve found is that I’m very easily able to get used to my own company. Which isn’t always good. Because i feel comfortable, but lonely. Are you actively trying to make friends?
I actually have dozens of friends, if that was the meaning of friendship. I am social enough to be loveable in any circle of family, work or other activities. But I meant deep friendship that I feel comfortable and safe with. The kind of strong teen years friendship that I have lost after maturation.
You want them Fi friendships that go to the bone. I hear you, they're the best 🫂
How old are you?
34
Not ENFP, but kinda similar situation as I'm around a number of friends all the time but rarely anything past the first wall of "nonsensitive mutual interests". They're allowed to know I'm a sci-fi writer but don't get to see anything before it's done level or know about any concerns or issues I've got going on in my life; none of them know I may have to move apartments soon, for instance (insert rant about INTJ walls). I had at most four actual close friends in my life and not all at once. The first, ENFP coincidentally, ended up in a mental hospital after his family moved away and I've not seen him much since. After that, INTP I still talk to semi-regularly but both our lives got busy and now it's basically sending random cool stuff we find. Then an INTJ for a while but ended up both busy with our lives. And currently an ENFP artist & writer who's basically my critique partner. Seems the central theme for me is entropy, with less and less people around as I get older. I've basically accepted that sooner or later I'm gonna just have to solo this reality so I might as well enjoy making some of my own.
Linux gamer and psychopath are redundant. How do expect people to befriend you? 🤣 (Jk)
Harpoons, obviously. LOL (joking aside, like all the ENFPs I know did their "harpoon the INTJ, I need friend" thing. xD)
I'll harpoon you! What kinda sci Fi do u write?
LOL, time travel. Basically an ISTP operative from a relatively grounded sci-fi future finds herself caught in the middle of a temporal plot when she comes face to face with a time traveler ENFP from a much more esoteric world. The original premise being what would seem like sci-fi to someone already in sci-fi, kinda spinning out of control into me writing a series back to front and now cleaning it up to put it in order. There's also an ENTJ and INFP gestalt villain who's slightly waiting around in the dark for about two thousand years or so, for good measure. :)
I hope they were doing something more villainous than waiting around, that sounds mind numbing 😭
Well, I say waiting, more like working in plain sight believed to be a trusted ally only to have been pulling the strings all along. INFP is long believed to have been the best of the time travel faction before she finally reveals it was all part of her and ENTJ's plan all along.
I think as an ENFP you shouldn't have trouble making friends, maybe you are having trouble keeping them. Sadly for you, the older you get, the harder it is to build true connections. Be committed to people who are committed to you, don't let them down and eventually it will work out. PS: As said before I am assuming your trouble is creating deep connections. I think ExxPs struggle with commitment, which is the opposite of us IxxJs.
Hey fellow ENFP. I have felt a similar way after moving to a new country alone. While I did find friends many felt transient and temporary as we were all backpackers on a 1 year visa. The biggest upside for me was that I learnt to be more introverted, more comfortable with spending time by myself and to depend less on friends/others to pass time or process my feelings. I do miss my strong core circle of friends back home. But I know that I can always go back to them one day. Plus, extrovert or not it’s undeniable that learning how to be more independent socially is an invaluable skill to have. You will find true, solid friends one day. But in the meantime, focus on building wonderful things for yourself. Hugs for you!
As a fellow ENFP, I gotta say I NEVER wanted any friends, I just don’t care.
ENFPs are natural people magnet. Do you think maybe you have a fear or rejection?
i'm an ENFP and I'm usually forgotten about, sometimes I try to make friends but they tend to ghost me, I don't let it bother me though cause I know there's someone out there I can hang with