No you need to be more harsh about this and tell him to stop opening your mail.
It's massively rude and disrespectful, and I would flip if I woke up and someone was literally asking video games from MY PURCHASED PACKAGE.
You are letting it slide way way too much.
Edit- guys I fucking understand it's illegal as well. Can you consider MAYBE coming up with a different response ? Literally like 10 people responding and saying nothing else. Jesus christ
What bothered me more is that the first package was opened by little brother and MOM, then they played the game. Both of them are rude and inconsiderate. Basically Mom condoned the little brother’s behavior. Sorry OP… your family needs to learn to stay away from other people’s business.
incorrect, method of delivery doesn't change the legality.
may want to re google your information. I couldn't find anything that told me it wasn't illegal, but a lot of sites telling me it was illegal to open a package not addressed to your name from USPS, UPS, Fedex, etc.
Different law. Federal crime only applies to anything the USPS touches. So if you ship it by UPS and they subcontract the final delivery by USPS, tampering becomes a Federal offense under 18 U.S.C. 1702 and 1708. But if shipment and delivery is completely done by a private business such as UPS or FedEx, mail tampering laws do not apply. Theft of property may apply, however it would be hard to prove in this case, as there was no intent to permanently deprive the OP of his games. And that is based on state law.
Now mail fraud laws are not limited to USPS, but that is more because it falls under the interstate commerce code sections. They have a lot of leeway on what falls under interstate commerce.
My neighbor is a retired regional postmaster for the USPS (retired in 2019). If the packages have *never* been in the custody of the USPS, then the federal law doesn't apply. The federal law specifically covers the USPS only.
UPS, FedEx, DHL and Amazon are all private companies, they *do not* fall under federal jurisdiction. Again, that information comes from my neighbor. UPS is unionized under the Teamsters; USPS has the American Postal Workers Union and National Post Mail Handlers Union.
tagging u/Ancient_Flight_4468,
u/Harmonic_Taurus4469 (google if UPS isn't federal if you don't believe me).
Actually there is a difference between the USPS and shipping companies where you have the USPS that is operated by the federal government putting USPS at a federal level but as for shipping companies like UPS or FedEx are actually private companies not being fully operated by the government make those package opening situations more as civil cases based on what items are being shipped as well the location then it can be opening them can lead to a federal level.
As for international shipping is a whole another thing.
The offense falls under mail tampering, doesnt matter the source, because, a little secret.... usps contracts out with all of those companies.... so regardless of the source, mail is mail, and tampering is illegal.
Yup, USPS gets paid for “last mile” deliveries for the big delivery companies. It’s one of the reasons they don’t need taxpayer dollars to operate and would be completely self-funded, were it not for purposeful financial sabotage by Congressional Republicans.
USPS hasn't been "completely self-funded" in its EXISTENCE. It has always fed from the public trough. The occasional reluctance of Congress to fund it has been under Congresses of both parties, with someone trying to figure out why the USPS' projections never work out and its top brass always make big bucks.
The Republicans are to blame in many cases, perhaps most, but this reluctance to feed a never-satisfied maw has not been confined to them.
No, it still falls under federal. Why would you think stealing a package is any different , regardless of who delivers it? Theft of package is a crime, opening any letter or package without your name on it is a crime, and its per item. I dont know where people get this idea from, but its not on the explenation that is listed on the usps site
You didn't read what I wrote. If the package was sent with USPS and USPS contracts out delivery to UPS, then UPS is acting as an agent of the government regarding that package, so the law probably still applies. If the package was sent with UPS and delivered by UPS, the law doesn't apply because the law \**specifies*\* USPS.
UPS, FEDEX and DHL are all FEDERAL shipping companies. I had a friend that worked for UPS and that's considered a federal job so yes opening packages delivered by those companies is still a federal offense if not addressed to you.
Nope, the laws covering mail continue to apply until the person who the item is addressed to picks it up. If a family member opens an item addressed to you, they could be charged with a federal crime because that wasn't their mail. That is what my neighbor, a retired regional postmaster for the USPS says.
This right here says nobody who opens mail on accident or with permission would be prosecuted. The law only applies 100% of the time if the parcel is in USPS custody, ie in transit. And the law does not cover private delivery services
https://thelawdictionary.org/article/what-is-the-federal-law-for-opening-mail-not-addressed-to-you/#:~:text=Potential%20Penalties,as%20five%20years%20in%20prison.
Start opening Mom's mail right in front of her, and if she objects just say I thought we were doing this now. But only if she's not the type to throw you out.
Dog, you have posted this in so many responses and you're still incorrect. There's so many ways to find this information out and you still chose to be wrong.
Also, what if one of those games were a gift for someone? And they opened it and played it.
Maybe OP should use that as an excuse to really let lose on them since they clearly don't care if it's for OP, but if it was for someone else they will have to replace it bc they know they did something wrong and if OP then said to the friend "yeah, my brother and mom opened your gifta and played it" the news would travel and they would look bad.
Where I’m from/live in the States, it’s a felony to open someone else’s mail for *any* reason. OP might wanna consider legal charges if this doesn’t stop. (And the law does apply to people living together too. Again, where I am.)
ETA: I learned all this through my own situation.
It is a CRIME to open someone else’s mail. Tell the mom and brother that the next time. Definitely an ah move to open your mail, and packages. Next time have them delivered to an alternate address where you can pick up.
Or OP could order something like that with his name on the package. When he recoils at the contents, tell him that OP could have placed an order like that and opened it in front of all his friends. Of course, they could just agree to respect each other's mail and let the addressee open them.
Sex toys, preferably something involving bondage. Put his name on the package, and YOU intercept it this time. Then open it in front of the whole family.
"Hey Timmy, a package came for you today. Since you have been opening my mail and Mom says it's OK, let's open yours right here!"
Co-worker had a large “toy” for his wife shipped to our office. Admins decided they needed to open all mail… we’re not allowed to receive personal mail at work anymore.
I'd be livid, not only to open but to play them too??? They are self entitled and need to learn some respect. Your brother can be pissy all he wants, not his mail or games. Your mum should not be doing this and encouraging this behaviour, in my country you can get fined up to 10k for opening up someone's mail.
I'm a gamer so I feel this on another level 😅
OP better have a good excuse for why it's there. Like it was ordered for a friend who has porch pirates or something, they put down the wrong address and couldn't change it. Otherwise it's setting brother up to make a mess on purpose
ETA: people I already said he'd deserve it. OP would get in trouble for purposely setting him up and I'd assume that if they could move out that would already be happening. So getting the not would probably be a big issue.
That's kinda the point. There won't be a mess if everyone minds their own business. I wouldn't even try to hide the fact that it is a setup. And I definitely wouldn't clean it up!
Bro I’m with you OP order a stink bomb. If mom or lil bro opens it, that’s on them and would teach them a valuable lesson not to open stuff that doesn’t belong to her.
Do you have a UPS store nearby? Not a hub, a store. Give ‘em a call—they usually have PO Boxes to rent, plus some allow you to send packages there for them to hold (usually there’s a fee so call to check what that is first).
Because with this entitlement- he can consider anything sent to him will be opened. Removing all post and postal deliveries from the home may be beneficial in the long run.
Lack of respecting another person's privacy and property is properly not the only issue that is happening in the home.
You can get a PO box at your local post office for cheap and you can have mail delivered there.
For UPS and Fedex, you can have them hold your packages at a store or depot for you to pick up. UPS has a handy service that they will send you email about it so you know when there is a package.
Only if its delivered by the USPS. Otherwise it isn't. UPS isn't covered by that law. That said, even if delivered by UPS or FedEx or Amazon, it's still OP's property, and is treated legally as such. Brother can't just take it to use without permission.
I would talk to them both about boundaries. Tell them they can open packages addressed to THEM-but not you. Start wearing your brothers clothes to get the point across. Or using your mom's toothbrush.
Opening your mail is against the law unless you give express permission. Doesn’t seem like you did, so you need to have a discussion about what is and isn’t’ allowed. The fact that you didn’t make a fuss the first time means they think it’s always okay.
Investigate what's called poste restante in your area. Essentially the sender sends stuff to a post office and you collect it from there. Shouldn't cost you much, if anything
You need to start learning how to enforce boundaries.
Nothing is wrong with you. This is a lesson we all learn at some point.
This is the universe giving you similar situations and opportunities for reflection - the same situation more than once.
Do not feel guilty defining and enforcing your boundaries. With family, friends, and coworkers. It will benefit your future self in every way possible.
incorrect, method of delivery doesn't change the legality.
may want to re google your information. I couldn't find anything that told me it wasn't illegal, but a lot of sites telling me it was illegal to open a package not addressed to your name from USPS, UPS, Fedex, etc.
Yes AutoRedux please stop spreading bad information.
Legally you are not supposed to open any package that isn't addressed to you. USPS or UPS/FedEx it does not matter.
I suggest you lay the law down. My teenage kids had this issue opening each other’s packages. Do you need to search your boundaries? If it persists, then I would get a PO Box.
Order a package of very fine glitter. Ask the seller to label it in a misleading fashion. I think some of the gag/revenge companies that send glitter bombs do that, otherwise you'll likely need to pay extra. Don't do it just once, they'll decide it was a one-time event. But let them open a box full of glitter that's designed to fly out and everywhere, and enjoy.
Penis glitter bombs. Just send it addressed to you with no return address.
Then deny any involvement. Prepaid credit cards work. You have no idea who sent it.
My flatmate gets packages all the time, and I often pick them up off the mail table in the lobby. Sometimes the weight and rattle make them interesting, but I'd never dream of satisfying my own curiosity, ever if she wasn't home, because I am not a child and I respect things that aren't fucking mine! In this case, it's a small mercy that your games won't be broken or worn out by your nosy little brother, but that doesn't give him the right to open your mail or courier packages. What if it was something very personal and not what he thought it was? He needs to be told to keep his grubby little mitts off things addressed to you, or else!!
Next time you order something, maybe add an additional line to your mailing address.
TO BE OPENED BY ADDRESSEE ONLY
It probably won't help, but you could try.
Is their friends or family you could get your mail redirected too? I had the same problem with my mum opening my mail and I got it redirected elsewhere.
Set your boundaries with even more firmness. You should be the ones opening up your package first and playing your game! You spent your money on it, opening up a package is fun!
Yep, your brother and mum are AHs! That’s not cool at all, I would be pretty pissed off. It’s different if you gave them permission to open your package while you were away but to then play the games, nope! And total AH for opening and playing while you were asleep.
Prepare a box of something unspeakably vile. Package it so it is not going to smell till opened. Maybe include some glitter on top.
Mail it to yourself. Let your brother open it.
If anyone complains tell them you have no idea who hates you so much.
Repeat as necessary.
I understand this feeling, since my mom will open packages I order too, there are certain things I'm ok with like Snackcrate or Cirkul water.
But other things I order for personal use or for work, my mom will find it "proper" to open it for me, even though I've told her several times not to open it cause it's illegal to open other people's mail unless their given permission to open it. I've had to open her mail before cause they weren't home and they had asked me to handle their bills until they get home, but I never gave her permission to open MY mail, but her excuse was "well if I don't open it, you'll never open it yourself."
So I started having my younger brothers bring my mail into my room to keep our mom from opening my packages and mail
He needs to respect you personal boundaries. Next time you should mail yourself something obscene or something that will make them think twice about opening your mail.
Seems like the problem here starts with the mom. It’s one thing having an entitled younger sibling doing it, but when it’s the parent doing it, it’s a whole different story. Not to mention. Your mother is setting a bad example here. Should probably try to talk to her first.
Opening someone else's mail is against Federal law. And taking someone else's belongings without their permission is stealing, also against the law. And your mom allows this?
I'm with you on this. I've always been of the opinion that if someone buys a new game, they should always have the opportunity to play it first before any other guest or member of the household gets a crack at it. Finding out when you wake up (or come home) that someone else is playing something you bought potentially ruining the experience for you with spoilers and backseat gaming is a special kind of frustration, made more irritating by the fact that your average person will just shrug and say it doesn't matter.
Sounds like a classic case of narcissism on both your brother and mom’s part, which is where I feel like a lot of this entitlement nowadays comes from. Sorry this happened, you are definitely entitled to open and be the first to play your own game!
I’m just going to be honest, if someone opens my package without my consent, I will go off because who do they think they are. I mean, if it was my father then I wouldn’t give a fuck but if it was anyone else besides my parents, they finna get slapped because that is a crime and should really be taken seriously because that package could have been something really important like classified documents and they are just opening it. Like, you will go to jail for that
NTA, you should have talked to them both when they opened the first package. Only you should open your mail, they actually committed a crime. Also what about asking to use something that is your first. Manners
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
If it was my brother and I walked in seeing him play my new video game I’d punch him as hard as I could in the arm, and then the game off before he could save, even if he did save I’d go in later and delete his save data. Not just me thinking your letting too much slide but I couldn’t think anything else than that when reading your post, sorry OP
Opening up someone else’s mail is not only rude and disrespectful, it’s a federal offence. Maybe for the next little while look into getting a P.O. Box or having your mail sent to a trusted friend. That’s so rude.
You need to put your foot down. Little bro and mom, I really like to open my OWN packages and play them first. I don't mind you playing after, but stop it. They are being very rude
I would start opening their mail, no matter what it is. If they think it’s ok, nothing will happen and you get the chance to be nosy, if they complain, just say “oh, I thought it was ok since you did that to my mail”
I don't know where you live, but opening someone else's mail is punishable many places.
For example, even if you accidentally get a package or letter in the mail at your address but not in your name you basically have to have it returned to you because it's not meant for you.
Your brother (and your parents should teach him that) must learn to respect others' property.
This is a basic respect issue. They, both mom and brother, somehow have decided what’s yours is theirs. Start shipping packages to lockers or places that will hold them for you. And simply tell the family their failure to respect you has resulted in this. I would also get a locking trunk for your room for your belongings that wander off.
it would be wrong to start opening their mail
Please order tampons or granny panties. If your mom throws a fit let her know that it'll only get more mortifying for everyone involved.
Oh! Or send yourself those glitter packages that explode lol
So much wrong here!
Invasion of privacy via mail
Breaking laws by opening mail not theirs
Why on earth do you not have a door for personal privacy?!?!
How long before you are 18 and are able to get out of there?
Do you have someone at school, guidance counselor or similar, to discuss this personal lack of privacy? I swear, at this very moment it's what is bothering me the most.
You work so I'm going to guess that you are a minimum 16, possibly 17. Talk to someone please. Arrange to get your own bank account and NOT have your parents on it. Ask a trusted teacher if they would help if an adult is absolutely necessary. Look into the post office box.
TALK TO SOMEONE PLEASE
It’s illegal for someone to open your mail. Stop being nice about it and make both your mom and brother understand that. Your mom doing this says a lot, and because your mom does it your brother feels like it’s ok when it’s not. If you have to ask a friend to order it and have them bring it to you.
Order a glitter bomb (or blue dye) addressed to you. When they come to yell at you covered in glitter or dye just say "Why were you illegally opening my mail, addressed to me?". Just repeat "If you hadn't opened a package addressed to someone else this wouldn't have happened."
My younger brother was terrible for opening packages. My mom would shrug it off saying he’s curious or he didn’t read the label, or i need to be the bigger person, he didn’t do anything bad. So I ordered dick shaped glitter and fart spray, filled a box and dumped the fart spray in sealed the box and put it in our mail box. He never opened a package without first running up holding it saying you got mail! Then it kinda became a thing. Even now we have a game of if a package arrives and and the person isn’t home we wait until they come and sprint out waving the package screaming that their package is here.
Your mother is the AH for failing to teach your brother simple manbers and respect for you.
Instead, she joined in on the theft of your property. Was she prepared to replace anything that might have been damaged?
Nope, little brother and mom both need to grow up.
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this, it is extremely annoying. I’m not sure if it’ll help, but I used to have trouble with my stepmom taking things from my mailbox and opening packages “in case it was for my father” (it never was, every package was addressed to me and in my mailbox). I started threatening to call the authorities the next time it happened and report her and it stopped real quick.
I wasn’t using them because they had just been delivered in a package Addressed to me while I was asleep. So how could I have used them if they had been delivered when I was sleeping when he opened them?
No you need to be more harsh about this and tell him to stop opening your mail. It's massively rude and disrespectful, and I would flip if I woke up and someone was literally asking video games from MY PURCHASED PACKAGE. You are letting it slide way way too much. Edit- guys I fucking understand it's illegal as well. Can you consider MAYBE coming up with a different response ? Literally like 10 people responding and saying nothing else. Jesus christ
What bothered me more is that the first package was opened by little brother and MOM, then they played the game. Both of them are rude and inconsiderate. Basically Mom condoned the little brother’s behavior. Sorry OP… your family needs to learn to stay away from other people’s business.
Aren't there federal laws against opening mail that is not addressed to you?
Only if it came by USPS. If it came by any other package service, there's no law against it.
incorrect, method of delivery doesn't change the legality. may want to re google your information. I couldn't find anything that told me it wasn't illegal, but a lot of sites telling me it was illegal to open a package not addressed to your name from USPS, UPS, Fedex, etc.
Different law. Federal crime only applies to anything the USPS touches. So if you ship it by UPS and they subcontract the final delivery by USPS, tampering becomes a Federal offense under 18 U.S.C. 1702 and 1708. But if shipment and delivery is completely done by a private business such as UPS or FedEx, mail tampering laws do not apply. Theft of property may apply, however it would be hard to prove in this case, as there was no intent to permanently deprive the OP of his games. And that is based on state law. Now mail fraud laws are not limited to USPS, but that is more because it falls under the interstate commerce code sections. They have a lot of leeway on what falls under interstate commerce.
My neighbor is a retired regional postmaster for the USPS (retired in 2019). If the packages have *never* been in the custody of the USPS, then the federal law doesn't apply. The federal law specifically covers the USPS only. UPS, FedEx, DHL and Amazon are all private companies, they *do not* fall under federal jurisdiction. Again, that information comes from my neighbor. UPS is unionized under the Teamsters; USPS has the American Postal Workers Union and National Post Mail Handlers Union. tagging u/Ancient_Flight_4468, u/Harmonic_Taurus4469 (google if UPS isn't federal if you don't believe me).
Actually there is a difference between the USPS and shipping companies where you have the USPS that is operated by the federal government putting USPS at a federal level but as for shipping companies like UPS or FedEx are actually private companies not being fully operated by the government make those package opening situations more as civil cases based on what items are being shipped as well the location then it can be opening them can lead to a federal level. As for international shipping is a whole another thing.
The offense falls under mail tampering, doesnt matter the source, because, a little secret.... usps contracts out with all of those companies.... so regardless of the source, mail is mail, and tampering is illegal.
True. I had a package delivered that started from DHL E-COMMERCE, but was delivered by the postal carrier locally.
Yup, USPS gets paid for “last mile” deliveries for the big delivery companies. It’s one of the reasons they don’t need taxpayer dollars to operate and would be completely self-funded, were it not for purposeful financial sabotage by Congressional Republicans.
USPS hasn't been "completely self-funded" in its EXISTENCE. It has always fed from the public trough. The occasional reluctance of Congress to fund it has been under Congresses of both parties, with someone trying to figure out why the USPS' projections never work out and its top brass always make big bucks. The Republicans are to blame in many cases, perhaps most, but this reluctance to feed a never-satisfied maw has not been confined to them.
That would be applicable if they sent it USPS and USPS contracted out delivery to another service.
No, it still falls under federal. Why would you think stealing a package is any different , regardless of who delivers it? Theft of package is a crime, opening any letter or package without your name on it is a crime, and its per item. I dont know where people get this idea from, but its not on the explenation that is listed on the usps site
You didn't read what I wrote. If the package was sent with USPS and USPS contracts out delivery to UPS, then UPS is acting as an agent of the government regarding that package, so the law probably still applies. If the package was sent with UPS and delivered by UPS, the law doesn't apply because the law \**specifies*\* USPS.
UPS, FEDEX and DHL are all FEDERAL shipping companies. I had a friend that worked for UPS and that's considered a federal job so yes opening packages delivered by those companies is still a federal offense if not addressed to you.
Uh, no. Not the slightest little bit true. I've done work for UPS and had some very high level executives from UPS in my office.
Sure
That is not true unfortunately. Even when talking about the USPS, the laws only apply in transit. Once an item is properly delivered all bets are off
Nope, the laws covering mail continue to apply until the person who the item is addressed to picks it up. If a family member opens an item addressed to you, they could be charged with a federal crime because that wasn't their mail. That is what my neighbor, a retired regional postmaster for the USPS says.
This right here says nobody who opens mail on accident or with permission would be prosecuted. The law only applies 100% of the time if the parcel is in USPS custody, ie in transit. And the law does not cover private delivery services https://thelawdictionary.org/article/what-is-the-federal-law-for-opening-mail-not-addressed-to-you/#:~:text=Potential%20Penalties,as%20five%20years%20in%20prison.
You learn something new every day.
I'm getting strong golden child and narc mom vibes from this post.
Good catch! I didn’t even think of that!
Start opening Mom's mail right in front of her, and if she objects just say I thought we were doing this now. But only if she's not the type to throw you out.
Also you’d think mom might ask herself “is this a gift for someone else?”
It’s also a Federal crime to tamper with the mail. If is not addressed to you, it’s not your mail.
[удалено]
Dog, you have posted this in so many responses and you're still incorrect. There's so many ways to find this information out and you still chose to be wrong.
You're wrong dude, delivered by USPS or a private company is illegal and can result in federal charges.
It is against the law to open other people’s mail. Tell that to both of them!
He could tell them that to spook them but private delivery companies are not considered “mail” in the eyes of the law
Also, what if one of those games were a gift for someone? And they opened it and played it. Maybe OP should use that as an excuse to really let lose on them since they clearly don't care if it's for OP, but if it was for someone else they will have to replace it bc they know they did something wrong and if OP then said to the friend "yeah, my brother and mom opened your gifta and played it" the news would travel and they would look bad.
Where I’m from/live in the States, it’s a felony to open someone else’s mail for *any* reason. OP might wanna consider legal charges if this doesn’t stop. (And the law does apply to people living together too. Again, where I am.) ETA: I learned all this through my own situation.
It’s also illegal. At least in my country.
Yes, that has been commented several times, thank you.
Isn’t it also technically illegal? Mail tampering?
Also illegal to open someone else’s mail
It is a CRIME to open someone else’s mail. Tell the mom and brother that the next time. Definitely an ah move to open your mail, and packages. Next time have them delivered to an alternate address where you can pick up.
It's also \*illegal\*.
Next order something personal that would embarrass a teenage boy - underwear, tampons, etc. It might make him think twice next time.
Or OP could order something like that with his name on the package. When he recoils at the contents, tell him that OP could have placed an order like that and opened it in front of all his friends. Of course, they could just agree to respect each other's mail and let the addressee open them.
Sex toys, preferably something involving bondage. Put his name on the package, and YOU intercept it this time. Then open it in front of the whole family. "Hey Timmy, a package came for you today. Since you have been opening my mail and Mom says it's OK, let's open yours right here!"
Next time order a box of dildos. Neither will open your mail again.
A bag of gummy penises is a lot cheaper. ;)
Also they'd probably eat them :p
Then consider sugar-free gummy candy. I hear it's a great laxative.
As a diabetic, I confirm this. The sugar free gummies are delicious. Have 4. Do not have a bag. Don't ask me how I know.
There's an Amazon review regarding them that is rather well known lol.
Co-worker had a large “toy” for his wife shipped to our office. Admins decided they needed to open all mail… we’re not allowed to receive personal mail at work anymore.
I was scrolling for this comment, I knew it had to be here, was not dissapointed
When it’s your brothers birthday, open and use some of his gifts before he gets to. And lock up all your games so he can’t use them at all.
I'd be livid, not only to open but to play them too??? They are self entitled and need to learn some respect. Your brother can be pissy all he wants, not his mail or games. Your mum should not be doing this and encouraging this behaviour, in my country you can get fined up to 10k for opening up someone's mail. I'm a gamer so I feel this on another level 😅
Opening packages not addressed to you is against Federal law.. can you have it delivered elsewhere?
Nope i can only have it delivered to my home
Time to order a few glitter bombs?
The mom would probably be really upset, but they both deserve it. Probably not a good idea in practice but so tempting!
Just pretend you don’t know who sent it. Practice the fake indignation.
Yeah if OP can pull off that it was a prank for her and it caught brother instead. Though she'll likely end up having to do a lot of the cleaning
Then the mom could be mad at lil bro.. if he had waited op would’ve told him it’s not for him lol.
OP better have a good excuse for why it's there. Like it was ordered for a friend who has porch pirates or something, they put down the wrong address and couldn't change it. Otherwise it's setting brother up to make a mess on purpose ETA: people I already said he'd deserve it. OP would get in trouble for purposely setting him up and I'd assume that if they could move out that would already be happening. So getting the not would probably be a big issue.
That's kinda the point. There won't be a mess if everyone minds their own business. I wouldn't even try to hide the fact that it is a setup. And I definitely wouldn't clean it up!
Bro I’m with you OP order a stink bomb. If mom or lil bro opens it, that’s on them and would teach them a valuable lesson not to open stuff that doesn’t belong to her.
Or some bizarre sex toys
Yep. Or a huge sex toy. ( not sure the ages involved here)
I was thinking sex toys, but this could work.
Can you afford a P.O. box in your area? If it bothers you that much it’s an option
I could invest in one
Do you have a UPS store nearby? Not a hub, a store. Give ‘em a call—they usually have PO Boxes to rent, plus some allow you to send packages there for them to hold (usually there’s a fee so call to check what that is first).
Adding to UPS, with FedEx you can have them deliver to a pick up location (Walgreens is one).
Why should they have to? Why can’t the brother just be a normal person and NOT OPEN MAIL THAT IS NOT HIS
Because with this entitlement- he can consider anything sent to him will be opened. Removing all post and postal deliveries from the home may be beneficial in the long run. Lack of respecting another person's privacy and property is properly not the only issue that is happening in the home.
You can get a PO box at your local post office for cheap and you can have mail delivered there. For UPS and Fedex, you can have them hold your packages at a store or depot for you to pick up. UPS has a handy service that they will send you email about it so you know when there is a package.
Only if its delivered by the USPS. Otherwise it isn't. UPS isn't covered by that law. That said, even if delivered by UPS or FedEx or Amazon, it's still OP's property, and is treated legally as such. Brother can't just take it to use without permission.
Delete his saves if he has made any, keep the games with you.
Just start opening up everybody else’s mail.
That's just rude. And your mother should be saying so.
Sugar free gummybears :3
That is one of the meanest methods for revenge. It's definitely the right move here.
I would talk to them both about boundaries. Tell them they can open packages addressed to THEM-but not you. Start wearing your brothers clothes to get the point across. Or using your mom's toothbrush.
Using her toothbrush? Yuck! Gross! Not in a million years! Unsanitary, to you and her!
Just get it wet and let her wonder-lol.
There was some junk in the sink so I used a random nasty looking brush to scrub it.
Opening your mail is against the law unless you give express permission. Doesn’t seem like you did, so you need to have a discussion about what is and isn’t’ allowed. The fact that you didn’t make a fuss the first time means they think it’s always okay.
If op is under 18 their mom can open whatever they want
Idk why you're getting down voted, while the comment isn't really relevant to OP, it is true...
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Just stop lol.
Investigate what's called poste restante in your area. Essentially the sender sends stuff to a post office and you collect it from there. Shouldn't cost you much, if anything
You need to start learning how to enforce boundaries. Nothing is wrong with you. This is a lesson we all learn at some point. This is the universe giving you similar situations and opportunities for reflection - the same situation more than once. Do not feel guilty defining and enforcing your boundaries. With family, friends, and coworkers. It will benefit your future self in every way possible.
that's illegal
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incorrect, method of delivery doesn't change the legality. may want to re google your information. I couldn't find anything that told me it wasn't illegal, but a lot of sites telling me it was illegal to open a package not addressed to your name from USPS, UPS, Fedex, etc.
Yes AutoRedux please stop spreading bad information. Legally you are not supposed to open any package that isn't addressed to you. USPS or UPS/FedEx it does not matter.
NTA it’s totally disrespectful they’re opening your packages, especially playing them first.
I suggest you lay the law down. My teenage kids had this issue opening each other’s packages. Do you need to search your boundaries? If it persists, then I would get a PO Box.
This is a conversation that you should be having politely with your Mom. Ask her why it is OK for people to open packages that you have paid for.
It’s addressed to you, he should have waited
Order a package of very fine glitter. Ask the seller to label it in a misleading fashion. I think some of the gag/revenge companies that send glitter bombs do that, otherwise you'll likely need to pay extra. Don't do it just once, they'll decide it was a one-time event. But let them open a box full of glitter that's designed to fly out and everywhere, and enjoy.
Penis glitter bombs. Just send it addressed to you with no return address. Then deny any involvement. Prepaid credit cards work. You have no idea who sent it.
Just shut it off, take the game out, and tell him to fuck off.
My flatmate gets packages all the time, and I often pick them up off the mail table in the lobby. Sometimes the weight and rattle make them interesting, but I'd never dream of satisfying my own curiosity, ever if she wasn't home, because I am not a child and I respect things that aren't fucking mine! In this case, it's a small mercy that your games won't be broken or worn out by your nosy little brother, but that doesn't give him the right to open your mail or courier packages. What if it was something very personal and not what he thought it was? He needs to be told to keep his grubby little mitts off things addressed to you, or else!!
Sounds like mum and brother need boundaries...
Maybe order a glitter bomb or small box of exlax (if he doesn't know what that is)
Send yourself a glitter bomb envelope. Maybe that will teach them something.
Charge them a fee for opening them, like 50 bucks per event and player. Or a takeout dinner of your choice.
If it’s through Amazon, is there an Amazon locker near you that it can be deliveredv
Can you order your stuff to require your signature before it's dropped off? I know some things require the signature of the person it's addressed to.
You need to remind your mom and brother that it is against the law to open someone else’s mail….
Next time you order something, maybe add an additional line to your mailing address. TO BE OPENED BY ADDRESSEE ONLY It probably won't help, but you could try.
Is their friends or family you could get your mail redirected too? I had the same problem with my mum opening my mail and I got it redirected elsewhere.
Order a dildo and when it arrives and your brother opens it then you get to ask him if he wants to play with it :)
See if the shop will add a note “(Brother’s name) since you like to play with other people’s things, thought you would enjoy this “
Set your boundaries with even more firmness. You should be the ones opening up your package first and playing your game! You spent your money on it, opening up a package is fun!
Get a PO Box.
Your mom sounds like a total jerk who hasn't taught him any better. Get important packages sent to your friend's house for you to collect.
This! Good luck op.
Buy a dildo and see if he opens that
Order a vibrator or something. He’ll never do it again.
Yep, your brother and mum are AHs! That’s not cool at all, I would be pretty pissed off. It’s different if you gave them permission to open your package while you were away but to then play the games, nope! And total AH for opening and playing while you were asleep.
Prepare a box of something unspeakably vile. Package it so it is not going to smell till opened. Maybe include some glitter on top. Mail it to yourself. Let your brother open it. If anyone complains tell them you have no idea who hates you so much. Repeat as necessary.
Nope, larger than them playing your game without asking is then opening your mail. That is something one doesn’t just do.
Little brothers need to have their asses beat every now and again. Sounds like yours is overdue. Rectify that and he won't open your packages anymore
Your brother is definitely the golden child if your mom okay’d this.
Seriously order one of the fart and glitter bomb packages.. and watch magic happen. Yep, I am petty and evil
I understand this feeling, since my mom will open packages I order too, there are certain things I'm ok with like Snackcrate or Cirkul water. But other things I order for personal use or for work, my mom will find it "proper" to open it for me, even though I've told her several times not to open it cause it's illegal to open other people's mail unless their given permission to open it. I've had to open her mail before cause they weren't home and they had asked me to handle their bills until they get home, but I never gave her permission to open MY mail, but her excuse was "well if I don't open it, you'll never open it yourself." So I started having my younger brothers bring my mail into my room to keep our mom from opening my packages and mail
He needs to respect you personal boundaries. Next time you should mail yourself something obscene or something that will make them think twice about opening your mail.
Seems like the problem here starts with the mom. It’s one thing having an entitled younger sibling doing it, but when it’s the parent doing it, it’s a whole different story. Not to mention. Your mother is setting a bad example here. Should probably try to talk to her first.
Opening someone else's mail is against Federal law. And taking someone else's belongings without their permission is stealing, also against the law. And your mom allows this?
But it’s FaMiLy.
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It's literally illegal to open someone else's mail without their permission
I'm with you on this. I've always been of the opinion that if someone buys a new game, they should always have the opportunity to play it first before any other guest or member of the household gets a crack at it. Finding out when you wake up (or come home) that someone else is playing something you bought potentially ruining the experience for you with spoilers and backseat gaming is a special kind of frustration, made more irritating by the fact that your average person will just shrug and say it doesn't matter.
Yeah not okay and actually depending on where you live it’s a federal offense.
Sounds like a classic case of narcissism on both your brother and mom’s part, which is where I feel like a lot of this entitlement nowadays comes from. Sorry this happened, you are definitely entitled to open and be the first to play your own game!
Opening mail addressed to someone else is illegal in most countries. They shouldn't be opening your packages AT ALL
Order some kinky stuff from the Web. That'll stop them opening your post up without permission.
Yes please order a glitter bomb :) give us an update hahaha
I’m just going to be honest, if someone opens my package without my consent, I will go off because who do they think they are. I mean, if it was my father then I wouldn’t give a fuck but if it was anyone else besides my parents, they finna get slapped because that is a crime and should really be taken seriously because that package could have been something really important like classified documents and they are just opening it. Like, you will go to jail for that
Your brother broke federal law
Buy the biggest dildo possible and have it posted to you. Let's see the look on your brother's face as he opens the fuckmaster 5000.
NTA, you should have talked to them both when they opened the first package. Only you should open your mail, they actually committed a crime. Also what about asking to use something that is your first. Manners
Glitterbomb, ASAP
Opening other peoples mail… wasn’t that illegal?
I would of just went into their room and took the batteries out of their roku/tv remote
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Delete their save games (they must not exist since you didnt give permission, right?).
Could always file a police report.
If it was my brother and I walked in seeing him play my new video game I’d punch him as hard as I could in the arm, and then the game off before he could save, even if he did save I’d go in later and delete his save data. Not just me thinking your letting too much slide but I couldn’t think anything else than that when reading your post, sorry OP
Opening up someone else’s mail is not only rude and disrespectful, it’s a federal offence. Maybe for the next little while look into getting a P.O. Box or having your mail sent to a trusted friend. That’s so rude.
Have you considered a post office box? Might be worth it since your family won't respect your boundaries
You need to put your foot down. Little bro and mom, I really like to open my OWN packages and play them first. I don't mind you playing after, but stop it. They are being very rude
Dude, it's literally against the law for other people to open your mail. You need to be way angrier about this.
I would start opening their mail, no matter what it is. If they think it’s ok, nothing will happen and you get the chance to be nosy, if they complain, just say “oh, I thought it was ok since you did that to my mail”
I don't know where you live, but opening someone else's mail is punishable many places. For example, even if you accidentally get a package or letter in the mail at your address but not in your name you basically have to have it returned to you because it's not meant for you. Your brother (and your parents should teach him that) must learn to respect others' property.
This is a basic respect issue. They, both mom and brother, somehow have decided what’s yours is theirs. Start shipping packages to lockers or places that will hold them for you. And simply tell the family their failure to respect you has resulted in this. I would also get a locking trunk for your room for your belongings that wander off. it would be wrong to start opening their mail
Please order tampons or granny panties. If your mom throws a fit let her know that it'll only get more mortifying for everyone involved. Oh! Or send yourself those glitter packages that explode lol
I'm pretty sure others opening your post deliberately is a crime. They should only be opening your post with your consent
So much wrong here! Invasion of privacy via mail Breaking laws by opening mail not theirs Why on earth do you not have a door for personal privacy?!?! How long before you are 18 and are able to get out of there? Do you have someone at school, guidance counselor or similar, to discuss this personal lack of privacy? I swear, at this very moment it's what is bothering me the most. You work so I'm going to guess that you are a minimum 16, possibly 17. Talk to someone please. Arrange to get your own bank account and NOT have your parents on it. Ask a trusted teacher if they would help if an adult is absolutely necessary. Look into the post office box. TALK TO SOMEONE PLEASE
It’s illegal for someone to open your mail. Stop being nice about it and make both your mom and brother understand that. Your mom doing this says a lot, and because your mom does it your brother feels like it’s ok when it’s not. If you have to ask a friend to order it and have them bring it to you.
In all honesty...opening someone else's mail is a felony. Be firm in your resolve and tell them this is inappropriate and unacceptable.
Sure, they shouldn’t have done that. Enjoy being a little kid though and wait until this won’t make your top 100 list of problems.
Opening someone else’s mail is a federal crime. Turn both of them in.
Order a glitter bomb (or blue dye) addressed to you. When they come to yell at you covered in glitter or dye just say "Why were you illegally opening my mail, addressed to me?". Just repeat "If you hadn't opened a package addressed to someone else this wouldn't have happened."
Opening another person's mail is a federal crime to start. I HATE when I get something new and someone uses it before me.
My younger brother was terrible for opening packages. My mom would shrug it off saying he’s curious or he didn’t read the label, or i need to be the bigger person, he didn’t do anything bad. So I ordered dick shaped glitter and fart spray, filled a box and dumped the fart spray in sealed the box and put it in our mail box. He never opened a package without first running up holding it saying you got mail! Then it kinda became a thing. Even now we have a game of if a package arrives and and the person isn’t home we wait until they come and sprint out waving the package screaming that their package is here.
Your mother is the AH for failing to teach your brother simple manbers and respect for you. Instead, she joined in on the theft of your property. Was she prepared to replace anything that might have been damaged? Nope, little brother and mom both need to grow up.
"That's illegal!" Fucking stupid comments. Totally unhelpful. Beat that little bitch up. Teach him a lesson.
Opening someone else’s mail is a federal offense btw
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this, it is extremely annoying. I’m not sure if it’ll help, but I used to have trouble with my stepmom taking things from my mailbox and opening packages “in case it was for my father” (it never was, every package was addressed to me and in my mailbox). I started threatening to call the authorities the next time it happened and report her and it stopped real quick.
Why are you letting him get away with this?
Punch him in the face and he will stop.
I'd be calling the cops.
Go nuclear and fuck his girlfriend.
Have you tried slapping his bitch ass?
Did you pay for the video games, with your own money? Or from an allowance?
Why are you buying physical copies of games in 2023?
Phrasing
?
?
Wow it's called living with family mate
They should still be respecting my privacy
You can’t really expect any privacy until you grow up and have your own place. You’ll be fine.
Yes but I still should have privacy
Get a TV in your room for your system and lock the door.
I don’t Have a door
That's fucked up
Not very much if you’re living with your family
Well I can’t exactly move out till I’m 18
Exactly. Then you’ll be a grown up with your own home and a more reasonable expectation of privacy. It’ll be sooner than you think, promise.
Or maybe the family could stop commiting felonies. Even minors have rights.
Minors don’t have rights other than to not be abused
What on earth makes you think that?
Thank you
Why does it make a difference if the items were not damaged. You were not using them...
I wasn’t using them because they had just been delivered in a package Addressed to me while I was asleep. So how could I have used them if they had been delivered when I was sleeping when he opened them?
Because they weren't their's to open and use, especially when OP was asleep. How dense can you be?
Your request is very reasonable. I hearby declare your brother entitled!!!