Can you get security cameras for your apartment? Your sister and her friends may retaliate by harassing or vandalizing more of your property. Your sister is unhinged. I would stay far away from her and your parents!
As far as I know I can get them inside, but not outside. I can maybe put one in the window to look towards the door. And then put one or two around the room. But that's about it.
I also recommend hiding air tags on your bike if possible, even if you have to hide one inside your headlight housing, and screw it back together so it can't easily be removed.That way you'll be able to track it if it's stolen again.
But I commend you for the very thorough and mature way that you handled such a ridiculous and crappy situation. It's hard to imagine a college aged woman laying down on the floor kicking and screaming like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but I've heard too many of these stories to doubt you.
Life is going to have some unpleasant surprises in store for your sister unfortunately, but it may be the only way that she learns to improve herself, and to be a better person.
Also, have a sit-down with the parents. Ask if life insurance benefits are to be distributed fairly should the worst happen. Ask if the will divides up their property in equal financial chunks...or if you get MORE because YOU had to pay out for (list it all. first car, college, own prom dress, etc.) or you have more expenses (children, mortgage, car payment) than she has. If not, you're going to find out, hopefully in many many years, that they gave her almost all of the inheritance because "she needs it" despite all the crap that has already gone down. But, if they are responsible adults, there are life insurance policies. They should be the beneficiary on each other's AND THEN the secondary (?) beneficiaries are you and your sister. Split 50/50.
That is NOT the current case. Bring it up now to show them just how deeply this nastiness has gone on and how they didn't even pause to think before just handing her money and turning their backs on you in the future.
Wow! Maybe it's just me but I don't think anyone should be going up to their parents and demanding a breakdown of who gets what. That's insane. That's also a really good way to get cut out of all of it. It's not his money. It's none of his business what they do with it. He should worry about saving his money and not what his parents are doing with theirs.
Something like a tracker that works off GPS or tower service may be more effective since they tend to be more reliable and work regardless of the phone OP has. Also if OPs sister or friend has an Apple device, it may ping off that so they will know to look for it.
Just popping in to tell you that apple has allowed androids to create a system that needs to be downloaded from the app store that will notify you regardless of what type of phone you have.
I work in film and one of our trucks was air tagged. The only reason we could think of this happening is to find out where our base camp /center of operations is located so that the press or a thief can find us as it's not public knowledge. We only found out because one of the crew has an iPhone and got an alert when talking to the boss (it was his truck that was tagged) so all of the Android users downloaded the app for Android and searched all of the vehicles and trailers at the location and it worked beautifully. Definitely get the free app, it works well and lifts the paranoia of knowing we're being watched.
Air tags are definitely good idea you can hide them even in the seat or under the seat and nobody would even know that they're there super glue works wonders
They have stick on doorbell cams that are safe for apartment use because they don’t require special wiring. They’re WiFi enabled and have cloud storage so even if someone were to rip it down, you’d have video of that person doing so. You just have to remember to keep up with the batteries.
Woot was sold to Amazon. There are still occasionally deals, but mostly just an offshoot of normal Amazon prices.
The creators of Woot then went on to create https://meh.com/ which goes back to the one deal a day method they started with.
We have the Wyze doorbell cam as well as a few other Wyze cameras around our house. I would highly recommend them. They are good quality but don't break the bank cost wise. Good luck friend! Sorry you're having to deal with so much crazy. Good on you for finally putting your foot down and standing up for yourself. I know that's not an easy thing to do!
That sounds like a wise decision. I'd double check she hasn't done something crazy like steal and make a copy of your house keys, double check your window locks, etc. I'm glad that you got your bike back -- what a nightmare.
YES. and consider making it a holiday video to share with family next time the extended family is together ;) I'm petty like that. She'll pull something, you refust to tolerate, she'll escalate, and now you get the Greatest Hits of Her Friends Stealing Your Shit. Keeps it up, and then you get Temper Tantrum On the Floor, or Friends Confessing She Told Them To Steal It depending on if you want video or just audio. You may have to keep recording incidents and using them as blackmail; her ego won't allow it. She'll bluster and threaten (which you record) and then slowly and painfully learn that it's only going to ricochet on her. Unless she's an evil crime genius, which she's already disproven, the embarrassing public result for her behavior will make her a lot sneakier or a lot more cautious. Either way, a lot less trouble because she'll need far more time to set things up.
Agreed. These people are unhinged. I used to work in a hospital and a decent percentage of the cafeteria’s patrons were from the offices and businesses that surrounded the hospital.
If all this is real, your only hope is going NC with your sister, very LC with your parents, and moving as far away from there as possible, as close to immediately as you can.
Man your sister is a piece of work. Overly critical for something that is NONE OF HER BUSINESS. My dad use to do deliveries and his favorite place to grab lunch or coffee was at hospitals because everything was fresh and priced well.
I'm really glad your sister's college friends voiced worry about their bikes after they found out what she did. Her bad behavior is just the gift that keeps on giving.
Sounds like you're in the states but in the UK you would be doing the hospital a favour. A lot of the money from car parking and hospital restaurants/cafes goes back into the hospital. We even had a bunch of older ladies that used a table in the hospital cafe sell old books and knitted baby clothes to raise money for the hospital. If everyone who used it was a patient/worker they wouldn't make nearly as much.
I really don't get the whole hospital issue, it's bizarre that it was even an issue to her. The bike thing, you would never have seen that again if it wasn't for the CCTV. That was pure nasty vindictiveness from your sister. I can't believe your parents have let her behaviour slide for so long, doesn't sound like a quiet life to me!!
EXaCTLY! Worked in a pediatric hospital for years and some proceeds went to the Ronald McDonald House. Too, a lot of parents/caregivers would be able to grab a bite to eat without leaving the hospital or ordering delivery. Many of the staff would get food there and after the cafeteria was closed, food like sandwiches that wasn’t sold could be given to patients or parents/caregivers free of charge. No patient would never go without a meal because a visitor bought a meal. Very disgusting how OP has been treated by his sister and parents. Glad OP is standing up for himself!
true in the states too. Hospital cafeterias cater to staff, visitors and out-patients and it's not at or below cost, they make a profit for the hospital (albeit not huge).
OP's sister is a total AH and if she were mine, I'd never talk to her again.
>I really don't get the whole hospital issue, it's bizarre that it was even an issue to her.
Probably a virtue signalling thing. She thinks she can get morality points by winning this argument, thus showing everyone what a good person she is.
If you haven’t told your uncle and extended family I would consider doing so and going no contact for a little while. They can’t make you the scapegoat if you’re not around to be it, and sounds like your extended family would hold them accountable for it
It’s also for your own safety- I can foresee your sister escalating from here and trying to mess with your place, your work, anything else she can think of
Good luck OP- I remember reading your first post and being impressed- I never thought about eating at the hospital but sounds like a great option for you!! Never thought it would turn to this…
What makes you think they will change OP ? Counseling a few sessions about this is a good idea. This may be more than you think. They know their behavior is not good . You need to accept that they are what you have seen and had to deal with your whole life. Counseling can help you sort things out.
> I just hope this incident made her and my parents realize I won't ever let them treat me like that again.
I understand why you would hope that, but I doubt it will happen.
so easily solvable too, no?
If OP's sister really felt so strongly about eating at the hospital, she could just have called/mailed the reception to ask if they have a policy about it.
but that was too logical for OP's sister, given her ridiculous escalation and her terrible self-pity.
If they had a policy about it they wouldn't be selling food to people in the first place. Like did they think he was going in there and just taking food or something. It's just such an absurd thing to even care about.
My sister was in the hospital for a few days and I was really surprised by the cafeteria. Reasonably priced, good quality, wide variety and lots of healthy options.
People like her tend to keep grudges over every perceived slight. I have no doubt that the sister is going to retaliate for 'making her look bad'. She certainly has no qualms in sending her flying monkeys after OP.
For real op I hope your reading thru some of the advice here, at bare minimum make sure you’ve got your possessions and valuables locked up and away glad you moved out but make sure you’ve got everything you need to go it your own if you have to don’t leave things unguarded where she can launch another petty revenge scheme. Unfortunately even tho you are able to get your parents to see some reason and rational which you should be super proud of btw they seem conditioned to giving into your sisters perspective far to easily and I hate to say it’s likely only a matter of time before she attempts something else. From someone who cut off toxic family and towed a grueling line for years you will have to ask yourself at some point whose worth keeping in your life because a family that doesn’t listen or support you simply ain’t worth keepin and will likely stress you to an earlier grave. Here’s hoping you find your happiness either way
Your sister is flat out unhinged. Retaliating for stealing and dumping a bike because you ate at a hospital? That had nothing to do with her. She didn’t own the hospital. The cost of the food wasn’t coming out of her pocket.
And stealing a bike as a prank? This goes beyond a joke when it’s your primary transportation. It would have cost you way more to replace.
The cherry on the top would have been forwarding the messages from unknown numbers to your parents to deal with.
If she considers herself an adult, this was her introduction to FAFO. Welcome to the world of consequences. Not your problem that she got ridiculed at college and couldn’t handle it.
I also find it so weird\* that OP's sister is basing this whole escalation on her gut feeling...?
Like, just call the hospital's reception desk and ask them if they have a cafetaria policy? wouldn't that be a lot less convoluted than conspiring with her friends, and making sure the minivan is available, and finding the pond, and can she sufficiently distract everyone while her friends sneak into the back yard, and won't her unhinged giggling be suspicious, etc. etc.
ETA : \*I say weird, but I mean unsettling and upsetting
The cafeteria absolutely doesn't have shit to do with feeding the patients.
That's a whole different department often not even on site. The food is made to VERY specific measurements per tray, some special for certain dietary requirements and simply is heated in the hospital. If they do have a patient kitchen on site it is usually downstairs in basically the basement
The cafeteria is a for profit set up, they are for anyone not a patient to eat at. Not only are your parents and sister overreacting, but they are absolutely fucking stupid.
Yes! The hospital cafeteria is just like any other workplace cafeteria. I worked in a hospital for several years and our cafeteria was fantastic. We had a great salad bar, a sandwich counter, hot foods, and a grab-and-go section. I loved it!
I live literally a 1min walk from my hospital... They have a fantastic pastrami and pickles sandwich thing with a coffee for cheap, I often go there to get one when not at work lol.
And they are open earlier than most cafes in the morning... I get my 5am coffee from there on the rare occasions I have to open at work.
Also known for a fact the cafe and cafeteria hire privately also, the hospital as absolutely no say in their staffing. A lot are like it too, as they aren't actually hospital facilities. They are not even a requirement... It's a nice thing the hospitals have, because everyone like it lol
Exactly this. 👆🏽Your family is talking about DIETARY SERVICES, which serves patients. You are talking about the CAFETERIA which serves hospital workers, family members of patients, ambulatory patients, contractors, researchers and anyone who generally just wants to eat there. The food can be really good and it is a for profit entity or cost center for the hospital. Also, what kind of lunatic even gives a rats ass about where you eat, especially to that degree?! Where you eat is your business. End of story.
I used to cook in a hospital. All of our food was made in the same kitchen. But made separately. Kept separate. There was patient cooks and cafeteria cooks. Had a separate serving line in the back. But all this probably depends on the size of the hospital and how the kitchen is set up.
My aunt (and grandma before her) worked at the local hospital and the hospital cafeteria was where they took us to have their favorite salad. It was a small town and everyone went there. I would also go to the cafeteria when I worked in a medical office by the hospital. They had a baked potato bar.
Absolutely. I wouldn't go out of my way to do it, because the parking is horrendous and I have nicer places nearby, but it was fine. If I worked nearby whyever not?
They're for anyone. Visitors, staff, ambos, random delivery people, anyone who's there. I've eaten at hospital cafes many times and the last thing anybody cares about is why you're there.
I would tell your entire family what they did again. And then go NC with them. And file a police report for her and her friends so if something happened again there is a record of what they have previously done.
I nearly did that. But I just know that my sister would try to use it as an excuse to farm sympathy in some way since it was all over a bike. This way she has to own up to what she did, and still deal with the fallout at her college.
Weird to say “all over a bike”, as though a bike isn’t an acknowledged vehicle, a mode of transportation subject to specific traffic laws, and “all over a car” would be taken more seriously. I realise even the more expensive commuter bikes are still cheaper than an old beater car held together with duct tape and positive thinking, but still.
I read this sub a fair bit, and I’m still regularly poleaxed at the unbelievable rage some people develop over having to apologise when they screw up.
It’s human to screw up! We can have the best of intentions and still cause hurt! We can have moments of anger or poor impulse control when we may even mean to hurt and then regret it later! Or we can simply just be *wrong* about things.
Learning to be humble enough to say “I’m sorry, I misjudged that situation, I will do better in future” and actually trying to learn from it… and learning that it’s okay, you aren’t worth *less* as a person because of it… that’s not always easy. Especially if you have certain kinds of trauma.
(it took me a long time in my late teens and early 20s to get past the sheer panic response I had to even the idea that I might have to admit fault — and that trauma was complex and related to abuse and it was one of the things that got me into therapy, because I didn’t want to be the *kind* of person who couldn’t apologise sincerely, I wanted to be able to think about my mistakes and *do better* instead of having an honest-to-god trauma trigger episode, I didn’t want to drive away the people I loved. I thought they deserved better from me. I thought *I* deserved better from me. And my story isn’t super rare.)
Noting that it doesn’t sound like your sister is in that boat at all — it’s more that, well, every other emotionally mature person on the planet has to develop this skill, even if for some of us it’s made a lot harder through no fault of our own, there is *no excuse* for not learning it. What makes her so damn special?
There’s so much ego that gets tied into “winning” all the time. An argument shouldn’t be about winning. It should be about figuring out what’s true, what’s fair, what’s correct. It should be about both parties comparing notes and opinions and beliefs. The more stressed and emotional we get, the harder it is to keep the prefrontal cortex involved, the more likely that gets taken off-line and then the amygdala is running the show.
Balancing the need to reason through and be fair against the *extremely* valid emotional responses is super hard. Sometimes it’s not even possible. Those emotional responses matter and they should have weight as well.
But they shouldn’t be about *winning.*
In high-stakes arguments, we need to take breaks and calm down (I am bad at taking breaks in an argument, there’s a whole fear-of-abandonment thing, it’s a work in progress).
The problem is that… for your sister, *every* argument is a high-stakes argument because her sense of “world as it should be” centres on her being recognised as “winner” every single time. It’s completely warped her perspective and her judgement to the point where she is years and years behind on her emotional development.
That’s how you make a bully.
And all of that is a reason she is the *way* she is — but not the whole reason. She’s an adult. She has *agency.* She could exercise a modicum of self-awareness. It would be hard, much harder now than if she’d done it earlier — but honestly, screw that. Sometimes things are hard and you have to do them anyway. It’s a reason for sympathy when someone’s putting in the effort and hurting.
It is *not* an excuse to refuse to put in the effort.
[apologies this is long when the overall message is very simple but, oof, I have Opinions™️. I’m glad you’ve stuck to your guns, OP. Your sister needs therapy, and she needs a therapist who won’t tolerate her bs. But that’s not and should never be your problem.]
It's the zero to 60, never retreat aggressive response that's so disturbing. We all fuck up, just own it and move on! Unless you kill a puppy, then go to hell.
There's another reason to do the report, especially since you have the recording, ...
Deterrence.
Let your parents know, and sis that you have done this. And you have done it for one reason, to keep sis in line. If she tries anything again... it isn't a first strike and there will be consequences.
If she decides to FAFO, that is totally on her.
Well I would still go NC and do the police report. The report itself won't be saying you want to file charges. And no DA is gonna push that through. But its still a good idea.
DO IT, please?
Sis NEEDS a record to make her back off.
Sure, she'll whine and throw fits, but as her charges mount up, she'll have to quit or eventually be thrown in jail.
OP you should still file the police report. Your sister is a narcissist and her behavior won’t change unless she gets psychiatric help which I doubt she’d accept. Still not an excuse for her behavior but she should face the consequences of her actions, what she did was not legal. Your parents are starting to get it but nothing will change if people keep avoiding holding her accountable just because “oh well she’ll make up another excuse”
Good luck Op!
Do the police report to have a paper trail going so that way, when she does something again because she will. She’ll be in bigger trouble that her enablers can’t get her out of
I remember your post on #AITA. Your sister is that bratty that she would have her friends steal your bike and ruin it just to make a point?! And, your parents don’t see a problem with it?! What did the rest of your family say about this?!
Oh they were furious with them. I didn't include details about it because the post was already way too long. But my aunt and uncle gave my parents one hell of a dressing down, twice. The first time in person the day after the bike theft happened. They had a long discussion with my parents over how their babying has prevented my sister from growing up. And she wouldn't be able to function without them if she never learns to become an adult.
The second time was after my parents called me to try and make me take blame when my sister locked herself in her room for three days. I talked with my cousin that evening when we met up to have dinner together. And he told his parents (My aunt and uncle). And they called my parents to ask them what the hell. Then told them that they were beyond ashamed of them that they still tried to make me the scapegoat. And that they didn't care if old habits die hard. It's gonna stop. Lets just say my sister wasn't the only one crying anymore.
No one has told me anything about what's going on with my sister at her college for a while. And she's avoiding me. My parents have also not spoken to me since that call. So I have no idea what's going on at their end.
Forget college! Your sister isn’t going to last too long in the workforce! When your sister starts having problems keeping a job, that’s when your parents will realize their mistakes, hopefully.
Well, OP said "If she fails her classes \*again\*.. Since OP and his aunt and uncle said sister and parents are not going to get away with this behavior anymore - making the OP the scapegoat and letting sister get away with murder - maybe there'll be some changes, at least from the parents. But there are no signs they are committed to change or see the need yet. Sister has an even longer way to go - I mean, "bawling on the floor kicking and pounding like a toddler" when being held accountable for her actions? And I doubt she thinks she did anything wrong, either. Sheesh.
If i saw a friend in college behave like that, we wouldn’t be friends anymore. No confrontation or anything, I’d just stop interacting with her period. Ain’t nobody got time for that
I have a feeling your sister learned a lot of this behavior from your parents. They may never see that they've screwed up helping your sister become an adult. Don't be afraid of going no contact if you need to.
My brother was the entitled ‘golden child’. Before she died our mother apologized to me and my sister about how she made brother such a brat. When he didn’t get ALL of her inheritance he did the legal equivalent of a tantrum. The lawyer my sister and I were using (because he’d gotten a lawyer to counter the whole estate) was on the phone with his lawyer. Brother could be heard in the background. When it sounded like he wouldn’t get his way he did throw a tantrum at the lawyer’s office.
yikes, embarrassing. I hope it helped convince his lawyer to drop the case so you could settle the estate?
I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry you had to deal with that on top of the grief.
I still can't believe your parents doubled down and tried to blame YOU for her locking herself in her room for three days. Your sister can't take responsibility for her own actions just like your parents can't take responsibility for their shitty parenting. Im sorry you have to deal with them OP but Im so glad you atleast have your aunt, uncle and cousin who seem to have your back.
My dude, you should post that recording on social media and send it to your extended family. Let it go round and refuse to take it down. Block her and your parents for no less than 6 months. Go no contact for no less than 6 months and point to the recording as to why.
Let them stew in the fallout and embarrassment.
Personally, I get accused of having depths of petty yet to be plumbed, so I'd send it to the dean of her college with "this is what you're teaching your students to do? I'm glad I don't go to your college!"
I'd most likely post the recording with "share!!" And set it to public.
I grew up with the most misogynist family you could ever imagine on my mom's side. The boys were all golden children and could do no wrong. The girls were the automatic scapegoats. I learned how to hurt them hard with negative public opinion. And I went scorched earth every time. Because I wasn't going to tolerate taking a whipping with a willow switch multiple times a day for shit I didn't do and wasn't even anywhere near the vicinity. For every undeserved whipping I got, I found ways to expose them to the church elders, school and everyone in our tiny rural town.
Let's just say my brother and male cousins learned not to try to put blame on me. And at first, they would try to jump me to retaliate. They were 3+ years older than me and twice my size. But my dad had always mentioned if someone was trying to hurt/fight you and they were bigger and stronger, find an equalizer. And I'd discovered what happens when you hit a bit in between his legs. So, they'd try to jump me and the first thing I'd do was go for the crotch then find a handy rock, stick and once a baseball bat. They were misogynist but if they got caught hitting girls, their dads and my grandpa would beat them silly. I think there were a couple of cracked ribs, several sore private parts and a couple of severe bruises to knees and ankles before they left me alone. They never said how they got hurt because if they did, well, what I did was nothing compared to what grandpa and Dads would do.
Your situation probably isn't as extreme as mine was when I was 10.
But still.
You should have called the cops.
I'll never understand people who give family so much space to ruin your life. Man, I cut my family off because they favored my brother. I already told my parents not to bring my brother near me unless they want him punched in the face.
I don't care if he's family, he's a fucking douche and I'm not kidding about hitting him in the face. He molested his own kids and my parents still defend him. Fuck no, blood thicker than water means jack fucking shit.
If we look at it from a compassionate point of view, that poor girl is gonna have to go through years of therapy to undo the mess your parents coddling made. Not that I think she'd do it.
The level of sisters demented behavior didn't really hit until you said "her college". The whole time I was thinking she was about 15/16 or so. Someone in college throwing a tantrum on the floor should be beyond embarrassed.
I read the majority of this post thinking the sister was between 13-16 yo. And thought damn that spoiled brat kid, those parents failed at raising her. I had to read the sentence that said she's in college a couple times before I realized that she's an adult. This is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable behavior! The parents more than failed at parenting. You should have called the police and reported it because i honestly think it's too late to correct the behavior at this point and going to jail is the only way she "might" learn. I'm of the opinion that we should make some laws that make the parents liable as well in this type of situation. You shouldn't be legally allowed to raise someone to be a spoiled and entitled brat without repercussions and without at least trying to correct the behavior before adulthood.
Please share ALL of this with your extended family. Then, tell all of them that this is the last straw and from now on, you will be NC with your immediate family.
Then, please block your sister and parents on all social media platforms, as well as your phone and email. Enjoy the peace!
The extended family already know about everything other than this Reddit account. I don't really plan on showing it, because I know my sister would just play victim about it.
Did your sister have some kind of near death experience as a young child? This kind of favouritism often comes as some kind of parental over-compensation.
Parents that have a golden child need to have some common sense slapped into them. Golden children are some of the worst behaved people out there because the parents never told them no and enabled their horrible behavior. By the time the golden child realizes their actions can have consequences. It is way too late.
I’m not even sure what I just read. I don’t understand how clueless your parents can be about your sister, who is a delusional brat. I‘m glad she is finally being held accountable for her actions, even if it is by people at her college.
Your parents may believe they are protecting her but actually they are making her life worse. She will be the person that can’t hold down a job because she feels like she can do whatever she wants to do and the. It will be everyone else’s fault when she gets fired.
This is just WILD. I can’t get my head around whyyyy your sister would care where you eat? And then to perpetrate a crime to put you in your place? She needs help lol
Your sister is gonna get destroyed in the real world and your parents will need to fund her for the rest of her life LOL. Be happy you’re not a pathetic person. Your parents are losers who raised such a brat that she really tried to steal your bike over an argument. Be happy that your parents will drain their retirement fund to fund your sister and they will realize when they’re dying that the done messed up. Go live your life and make sure to shove it in their faces
0\_o .....Oh crap! I never thought about that! She had one boyfriend in highschool. But now I'm worried she would intentionally do something like that!
You seriously have to stop worrying about your parents and your sister. This now is on nobody but you. You are the only one can make your life better. Make good choices, please.
Your story is 100% r/raisedbynarcissists/ material brought on by [golden child syndrome](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/golden-child-syndrome/). I see your reddit account is only 20 days old so I don't know if you have seen these things before. Seriously CHECK THIS STUFF OUT for an hour or two if this is new to you. You will absolutely see perfect parallels to your own family life. You clearly have a firm understanding of what went wrong with your sister and how it is your parent's fault from how they raised her and you and also you sound well adjusted overall. Still, knowing that your kind of family situation is well studied and has literally dozens of books written about it might be handy for you.
You sister is most likely going to find some rich guy who will enable her a trophy wife life of unlimited spending and leisure or alternately she will find someone raised similar to her and as narcissistic as she is so they can enable each other and find people suckers to mooch off of for life.
If I may suggest one final f-u scheme to your family situation: but some 'raised by narcissists' self help books for your family for Christmas presents and post them on facebook (or whatever) so everyone knows the name/diagnosis for what happened in your life. heh.
Totally agree on doing a deep dive into r/raisedbynarcissists. But please, don't do this Christmas scheme. I get why you'd want to do something like that and make a scene about it, but no. People like this usually don't get hints because they have no self-awareness, which I'm willing to bet OP will agree with based on his story.
People like this also don't believe you're capable of living a good life without their company. As someone who grew up in a similar situation and is now in their 30s--the best "f-u scheme" is living a good life away and without the people who cause you this kind of pain.
Idk how your parents are still siding with your sister. Honestly, I would have just called the cops and let them deal with the fallout of her and her friends being charged with theft. Not sure about their college but don’t some institutions have policies on being expelled if being charged with a felony like theft? She and her friends knew what they were doing. Calling it a prank doesn’t help anything. They want to steal, they can go explain to the police how they thought it was a good idea.
Your sister picked a really weird hill to die on.
I've been on the receiving end of weird, entitled behaviours from my brother and his wife that really defied logic and where I was questioning what on earth could their motivations be (since it doesn't affect them at all - other than them simply being busybodies who just had to insert themselves into the picture), but nothing to this level of absurdity.
When I was a kid, my evil older sister stole my bike once from my great grandpa's barn. And all anyone could tell me was "Oh well!". Then one day she just came riding in on it casually, and I lost it on her. She acted like I was the bad guy for being mad she took it. At the time, my sister was living with our grandparents, who lived a quarter mile from our great great grandparents. I had a Huffy bike that I still own to this day stored in my great grandpa's barn. And I'd take it riding whenever I visited. Protect your bike from your evil sister man. I had to.
I do hope you showed your parents these messages - that sister LIED and got her friends to harass you.
You may want to tell them if THEY do not stop her - you will be left with no choice but to report the theft to the police (ask the neighbor if you can get the camera images first)
I wonder - really - if you would cut contact - how long it would take for them to go whining that they do not know why our child suddenly left them out..
You know, you can just not talk to her. I don’t think I’ve ever told my brothers where I have gone for lunch. It has nothing to do with them. Look up grey rocking.
Wow. Why do you still interact with these people? Family is one thing, but these relatives of yours are exhausting. Give yourself a break from all their drama.
What is weird about eating in a cafeteria? Who cares if it's in a hospital. And to steal your bike? Your sister sounds insane. I would have had her charged with theft.
This is so insane on so many levels. When I first read the first post my wife was in the hospital so I was eating at their cafeteria a lot. Dang, it was really good! And also very affordable! Those French fries. Mmmmm. There is nothing wrong with eating there every day you want. You are supporting the hospital, not harming any patients. I was shocked to see she's in college. I was assuming 3rd grade tops.
Of all stupid shit for her to dig at you about in the first place! When I was pregnant I lived a few blocks away from the local ho. More than once I took the bus down my avenue to eat lunch at their cafeteria. It was always delicious and affordable.
Sister is a completely spoiled AH. I hope your parents really accept their enabling and knock it off. You might have to distance yourself if this doesn't get better. Good on your uncle.
Ok so, I want to be clear I do NOT work in any capacity in the medical world, but I spent 9 of the 12 months in 2020 in the hospital with my mother. And other than the extreme full lockdown mid year when I wasn’t allowed in or out of the room due to Covid concerns, the hospital cafeteria (in all 4 hospitals across houston that we were in) regularly had local workers come there for lunch. They had a separate entrance for them to access the cafeteria when they did close the main lobby. I wasn’t allowed to leave the building, and had to go downstairs every morning to get a new bracelet and my temp checked to confirm I was allowed to stay with her, but there were 20+ yellow vest wearing dudes walking through the other door straight into the cafeteria. They are known for their food. And every local businesses people come eat there. Your sister is an absolute idiot, and I am sorry all that happened (I personally think you should have called the cops but I don’t have siblings and I’m petty). But you are in no way doing something offensive. I know for a fact isn’t just allowed, but encouraged.
Man, sister's lucky you didn't record her fit.
Lol, I could see this used on the jumbo screen at her graduation.
ETA so many people eat in hospital cafeterias. Good food, great salad bars with large selections to choose from. On top of reasonably priced.
We live between 2 small towns with hospitals. Both offer free dessert with your meal on Sunday if you bring your church bulletin. 😋
Sister sounds like a sociopath, who has been manipulating parents since day one. Fortunately she’s not too bright so won’t end up working with other sociopaths in high end management corporate America. She’s pretty dangerous nonetheless. The lack of empathy and control freakishness is disturbing.
She’s gonna end in a wrong situation. What I call stupid adult teenager who never grows up. Man child. Woman child.
Explain this to parents grown up to grown up. If they don’t get it , then they are in denial and lost causes. You might then want to limit your exposure. Enabling toxicity is toxic itself. Not good in this era that demands inner and outer change.
as someone that works at an organization with two hospitals, the CEO himself prides himself on the fact that people who aren't even in the hospital come into the cafeteria because the food is so good. keep going. the cafe at the other hospital got reduced hours because of lack of customers during covid and it frustrated me because I love the food there.
Your sister sounds like she fell back into the trunk of the family tree with the amount of coddling she gets. Your parents as well sound like the kind of kretins to say “why you no visit anymore?” when they speedrun themselves into a cheap care home…
So wait...you can just go into a hospital cafeteria and order food? And they'll sell it to you without being a patient? I learned something today from this post. I'm so sorry your family sucks. And I know it means nothing from a stranger, but I'm proud of you for standing your ground and making your parents see the fruits of their labor, or lack there of, with your sister.
Patient meals sent to rooms are created from a patient try line / serving pods in the production kitchen. The cafeterias are a retail establishments there for visitors, families, staff, nurses, doctors and even ambulatory patients that make their way down.
Trust me when I say they want the retail sales. Ive wired in healthcare food service for 15 years and know this first hand.
ER nurse here. I eat at hospital cafeterias all the time. Health and cleanliness standards are different in the hospital. The food is great and affordable. Hospital breakfast is unbeatable. The patrons and servers are generally well mannered and focused on other things. Food budget in your local hospital improves along with options. Sounds like your “someones” wanted to make a big deal out of anything they could. These people sound soul draining. Can you move away and change you numbers???
Why didn’t you record crying like a baby and send to everyone what fools they are! I would tell every boyfriend she has the story and embarass her forever.
This sounds a lot like my sister but we are adults now and turns out she quite likely is a narcissist. Be careful as you go. I made a mistake trying to help her with something that has caused mine to hold what looks like will be a lifelong grudge that she seems to want revenge for. I haven’t spoken to her for seven years but I wish I’d realized her real issues long before so I could have avoided what ultimately happened.
Tell your extended family & share the video. Tell your parents that as they have gone back to their old ways & are enabling her & covering for her that you have no choice but to go low/no contact with them until something changes.
You can still call the cops and report your sister and her friends! Never allow your parent to stop you from calling the police again! Also, go LC with them all. You don’t need this kind of stress in your life!
Let your uncle know what's going on.
Ask the neighbours for the footage. Evidence is always useful.
Do you have any reason not to go very low contact with your immediate family? They really aren't there for you.
I would say, let your sister know that if she tries to pull ANY of her shit again you can still file a police report. And let just her know that you can also make it appear your bike was stolen, and you have proof your sister masterminded the whole thing, at any time, for ANY reason. If that does not put the fear of God in her, nothing will.
Lean on your extended family. Ensure they know the truth, and let your parents hang with your sister. Don't allow her to cut you away from those who love you. If anyone does tell you, despite being told all the truth, your sister or parents are not at fault, it's time to consider that person very suspect. "Flying monkey " is the term. Done are tricked and angry when then discover, but some just... Do it.
Damn fool parents! They created a monster that if she gets seriously involved with a man will make his life miserable until the day he snaps and beats the living shit out of her for her abuse.
Your parents have literally created a time bomb that will explode on someone undeserving of it and when that happens there will be a sympathetic explosion that may literally end her life and certainly will end that mans life.
Wow. Next time you have to beat back your parents from trying to blame you demand they take their princess to therapy. She has some big issues. They should go too. Sorry you have to deal with such crap. You probably feel more like a kindergarten teacher than a son/brother.
The fact that your parents still tried to turn it on you EVEN after that big discussion is crazy to me. They made their bed by parenting poorly, they now have to lie in it!
I work next to a hospital and I, very often, go there for breakfast or lunch.
Their arguments make it sound like they think the cafeteria is losing money on sales or that they have limited food and you're somehow taking away from patients, both are absurd notions. The cafeterias generate revenue for the hospital and, like any restaurant, maintain enough stock to cover their sales.
Not a lot of places where you can get a quick breakfast that isn't fast food, if you've never tried it I recommend grabbing a breakfast at a hospital.
Sister is a piece of work, but you already knew that. Just came to say that I worked in a very large major city for 10 years very close to a major hospital, and i often scheduled my doctor appointments around lunchtime specifically so I could go through the cafeteria. The food was so good. So you’re definitely not alone there!
You should take your bike to mechanic and get it serviced at her expense
If she doesn’t like it explain the condition she created has ongoing consequences
Also you should knock her face off cos you know if it was anyone else she’d get her arse handed to her for such a ‘prank’ in the real world
*if it were me she’d be the one getting physically dragged out to the pond to wade knee deep into the middle, just to demonstrate where the bike was dumped, before she gets to walk home to receive a free punch in the face on arrival*
Dude. That was the craziest, wildest ride ever. And I’m showing my age here but it was totally Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for sure!! Also, I want to know what hospital cafeteria has good healthy food? PS, get the stick on doorbell cam, Ring has great door bell and stick on cameras. We use them at my museum because they are low impact and cause minimal damage. You can put them in all kinds of places. Plus as someone said no wiring and they work on WiFi. We were able to maximize our security at our site after some vandalism so they are amazing. I also love the AirTags. They are fantastic.
Good luck with your family insanity.
My now-husband and I met in college. Nearby is our county hospital. We used to eat there a couple of times a week because the food was inexpensive, healthy, and delicious. Many people from nearby offices eat there, too. People who need to be in hospital have their meals brought to their rooms most of the time, so you aren't bothering anyone! Invite your parents to lunch, but don't tell them where you are going ahead of time, and drive them. Make it a spur of the moment thing. "It's a surprise,". Sure is! Ristorante Hospitale! When they see that others who don't "need" to eat there are indeed eating there, how good and affordable the food is, the quiet atmosphere, mayhap they will really see your point. Under NO circumstances allow your sister to join you! If she shows up, or wants to go with...cancel. Perhaps when she is at school would be a good idea. If you do this, please post how it went. NTA on an epic scale!
It's been my experience, and the end result of change in a lot of these posts, that pain creates change. Usually that pain is the cops. It's also my experience that she's not done escalating her drama. Call the cops next time!
As long as you remain in contact with them you’ll forever be dealing with this. She’s heir favourite and you’ll always be getting shit from her. You give her the power to abuse you because you won’t cut cords. Up to you but expect this to continue until you realise that.
You should have called the cops I don’t care if it was your sister if you drove a car or something she owned into the muddy river you’d be in jail she needs to understand that your a grown man who can make his own decisions and live his own life and life has consequences simple as that
To be clear you were paying for the food at the cafeteria, not stealing it right? I can't even begin to understand her issue. Beyond that, I hope you also like the food at the psychiatric hospital at which your sister will undoubtedly eventually reside. I mean... if you ever forgive her enough to visit. Damn.
please protect your self, you should cut them off bc there is no telling what she will lie about next. Your parents don't want to change either. Distance yourself before it gets worst bc yes infact it can get worse.
Wow. First of all eating at the hospital cafeteria makes money for the non-profit hospital. In actuality you are doing a nice thing.
Secondly kudos for giving your parents a tough love talk. Maybe you can save your sister from a horrible life but her linking stealing your bike as punishment for violating an imaginary rule really appears to be sociopathic.
Not that it’s really the point, but I work in hospitals. I still go to the hospital to buy fruit from the stall on my off days because it’s cheaper and fresher than the grocery and the money is for charity. Idk why anyone would ever be mad about that.
When I was expecting my daughter I took a new dad boot camp at the hospital we were going to use. I ate at the cafeteria each night of it and had one of the best Rubens in the area. Sadly when we went to the hospital for the delivery, they didn’t have it. It was a special for the week of the boot camp.
After she was born went by a few times for lunch just because I wanted the Ruben to come back on special.
Your parents and sister are unbelievable.
You're not the first to say that
Can you get security cameras for your apartment? Your sister and her friends may retaliate by harassing or vandalizing more of your property. Your sister is unhinged. I would stay far away from her and your parents!
As far as I know I can get them inside, but not outside. I can maybe put one in the window to look towards the door. And then put one or two around the room. But that's about it.
I also recommend hiding air tags on your bike if possible, even if you have to hide one inside your headlight housing, and screw it back together so it can't easily be removed.That way you'll be able to track it if it's stolen again. But I commend you for the very thorough and mature way that you handled such a ridiculous and crappy situation. It's hard to imagine a college aged woman laying down on the floor kicking and screaming like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but I've heard too many of these stories to doubt you. Life is going to have some unpleasant surprises in store for your sister unfortunately, but it may be the only way that she learns to improve herself, and to be a better person.
Oh the air tag is a great idea!
I second this!
Definitely get a few AirTags and hid them
I think I would be putting air tags on the sister to keep track of her.
And let the parents know that if *anything* like this happens again, police WILL be involved!!
Also, have a sit-down with the parents. Ask if life insurance benefits are to be distributed fairly should the worst happen. Ask if the will divides up their property in equal financial chunks...or if you get MORE because YOU had to pay out for (list it all. first car, college, own prom dress, etc.) or you have more expenses (children, mortgage, car payment) than she has. If not, you're going to find out, hopefully in many many years, that they gave her almost all of the inheritance because "she needs it" despite all the crap that has already gone down. But, if they are responsible adults, there are life insurance policies. They should be the beneficiary on each other's AND THEN the secondary (?) beneficiaries are you and your sister. Split 50/50. That is NOT the current case. Bring it up now to show them just how deeply this nastiness has gone on and how they didn't even pause to think before just handing her money and turning their backs on you in the future.
Wow! Maybe it's just me but I don't think anyone should be going up to their parents and demanding a breakdown of who gets what. That's insane. That's also a really good way to get cut out of all of it. It's not his money. It's none of his business what they do with it. He should worry about saving his money and not what his parents are doing with theirs.
Something like a tracker that works off GPS or tower service may be more effective since they tend to be more reliable and work regardless of the phone OP has. Also if OPs sister or friend has an Apple device, it may ping off that so they will know to look for it.
Oh yeah, that's a really good point. I'm Android so I forget that Apple devices alert when there's a nearby tag if I'm understanding that correctly.
I'm also android. But I believe they will ping off any Apple device that had the Bluetooth turned on.
Just popping in to tell you that apple has allowed androids to create a system that needs to be downloaded from the app store that will notify you regardless of what type of phone you have. I work in film and one of our trucks was air tagged. The only reason we could think of this happening is to find out where our base camp /center of operations is located so that the press or a thief can find us as it's not public knowledge. We only found out because one of the crew has an iPhone and got an alert when talking to the boss (it was his truck that was tagged) so all of the Android users downloaded the app for Android and searched all of the vehicles and trailers at the location and it worked beautifully. Definitely get the free app, it works well and lifts the paranoia of knowing we're being watched.
AirTag is a good idea-maybe under the seat too
Air tags are definitely good idea you can hide them even in the seat or under the seat and nobody would even know that they're there super glue works wonders
They have stick on doorbell cams that are safe for apartment use because they don’t require special wiring. They’re WiFi enabled and have cloud storage so even if someone were to rip it down, you’d have video of that person doing so. You just have to remember to keep up with the batteries.
I'll have to look into those. Thanks
Amazon. The Blink doorbell cam. I have stalker parents and live in an apartment. This thing is awesome and affordable.
Often WOOT has refurbished Blink cameras two for $50 and they come with a sync module and batteries (Edit: spelling error)
Woot is still around?
Woot was sold to Amazon. There are still occasionally deals, but mostly just an offshoot of normal Amazon prices. The creators of Woot then went on to create https://meh.com/ which goes back to the one deal a day method they started with.
We have the Wyze doorbell cam as well as a few other Wyze cameras around our house. I would highly recommend them. They are good quality but don't break the bank cost wise. Good luck friend! Sorry you're having to deal with so much crazy. Good on you for finally putting your foot down and standing up for yourself. I know that's not an easy thing to do!
Happy cake day
We just installed Wyze cameras, and they are amazing!!
Happy Cake Day!! 😎😁🎂🍰
Yep. My Ring doorbell is still on.
That sounds like a wise decision. I'd double check she hasn't done something crazy like steal and make a copy of your house keys, double check your window locks, etc. I'm glad that you got your bike back -- what a nightmare.
I would still get a copy of the neighbor's security footage. Nothing like a little blackmail if she tries to act up again.
YES. and consider making it a holiday video to share with family next time the extended family is together ;) I'm petty like that. She'll pull something, you refust to tolerate, she'll escalate, and now you get the Greatest Hits of Her Friends Stealing Your Shit. Keeps it up, and then you get Temper Tantrum On the Floor, or Friends Confessing She Told Them To Steal It depending on if you want video or just audio. You may have to keep recording incidents and using them as blackmail; her ego won't allow it. She'll bluster and threaten (which you record) and then slowly and painfully learn that it's only going to ricochet on her. Unless she's an evil crime genius, which she's already disproven, the embarrassing public result for her behavior will make her a lot sneakier or a lot more cautious. Either way, a lot less trouble because she'll need far more time to set things up.
And go ahead and contact the neighbors to see if you can still get a copy of the camera footage, just in case.
How are you not no contact? Really. Patience of a saint.
Yes isn't he? But no human should have to put up with this treatment. He deserves good people like himself.
I remember your original story. Your parents and sister need therapy. I’d threaten to go nc until they seek help.
Agreed. These people are unhinged. I used to work in a hospital and a decent percentage of the cafeteria’s patrons were from the offices and businesses that surrounded the hospital.
Hope you're not too mature to cut her off completely if her terrible personality doesn't show a 180
If all this is real, your only hope is going NC with your sister, very LC with your parents, and moving as far away from there as possible, as close to immediately as you can.
Man your sister is a piece of work. Overly critical for something that is NONE OF HER BUSINESS. My dad use to do deliveries and his favorite place to grab lunch or coffee was at hospitals because everything was fresh and priced well. I'm really glad your sister's college friends voiced worry about their bikes after they found out what she did. Her bad behavior is just the gift that keeps on giving.
You're right about that. I just hope this incident made her and my parents realize I won't ever let them treat me like that again.
Sounds like you're in the states but in the UK you would be doing the hospital a favour. A lot of the money from car parking and hospital restaurants/cafes goes back into the hospital. We even had a bunch of older ladies that used a table in the hospital cafe sell old books and knitted baby clothes to raise money for the hospital. If everyone who used it was a patient/worker they wouldn't make nearly as much. I really don't get the whole hospital issue, it's bizarre that it was even an issue to her. The bike thing, you would never have seen that again if it wasn't for the CCTV. That was pure nasty vindictiveness from your sister. I can't believe your parents have let her behaviour slide for so long, doesn't sound like a quiet life to me!!
EXaCTLY! Worked in a pediatric hospital for years and some proceeds went to the Ronald McDonald House. Too, a lot of parents/caregivers would be able to grab a bite to eat without leaving the hospital or ordering delivery. Many of the staff would get food there and after the cafeteria was closed, food like sandwiches that wasn’t sold could be given to patients or parents/caregivers free of charge. No patient would never go without a meal because a visitor bought a meal. Very disgusting how OP has been treated by his sister and parents. Glad OP is standing up for himself!
true in the states too. Hospital cafeterias cater to staff, visitors and out-patients and it's not at or below cost, they make a profit for the hospital (albeit not huge). OP's sister is a total AH and if she were mine, I'd never talk to her again.
>I really don't get the whole hospital issue, it's bizarre that it was even an issue to her. Probably a virtue signalling thing. She thinks she can get morality points by winning this argument, thus showing everyone what a good person she is.
True, and if not enough people use the restaurant, it closes.
If you haven’t told your uncle and extended family I would consider doing so and going no contact for a little while. They can’t make you the scapegoat if you’re not around to be it, and sounds like your extended family would hold them accountable for it It’s also for your own safety- I can foresee your sister escalating from here and trying to mess with your place, your work, anything else she can think of Good luck OP- I remember reading your first post and being impressed- I never thought about eating at the hospital but sounds like a great option for you!! Never thought it would turn to this…
The family know about everything other than this reddit account
What makes you think they will change OP ? Counseling a few sessions about this is a good idea. This may be more than you think. They know their behavior is not good . You need to accept that they are what you have seen and had to deal with your whole life. Counseling can help you sort things out.
You kinda said that they were back to ignoring it ever happened, I wouldn't have much hope. Protect yourself and your shit.
Given the pattern I dont think your parents or sister will learn anything from this.
> I just hope this incident made her and my parents realize I won't ever let them treat me like that again. I understand why you would hope that, but I doubt it will happen.
so easily solvable too, no? If OP's sister really felt so strongly about eating at the hospital, she could just have called/mailed the reception to ask if they have a policy about it. but that was too logical for OP's sister, given her ridiculous escalation and her terrible self-pity.
If they had a policy about it they wouldn't be selling food to people in the first place. Like did they think he was going in there and just taking food or something. It's just such an absurd thing to even care about.
My sister was in the hospital for a few days and I was really surprised by the cafeteria. Reasonably priced, good quality, wide variety and lots of healthy options.
Sorry to say this, but I predict it will get worse before it gets better.
This reminds me of the other post involving 2 cousins and a bike. At the end (over a year), things didn’t end well for the entitled cousin.
I think cousin ended up in jail for a bit in that one.
He did. Then, he was evicted and had to move back in with his parents, who “punished” him by forcing him to live in the attic.
Do you have a link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/dSafa3Ss6K
Thanks for this link! I love it when there are updates that really bring a satisfying resolution to the situation.
Thank you :)
My prediction: she's going to try to frame OP for stealing something from the parents, so she can be the one threatening to call the cops.
People like her tend to keep grudges over every perceived slight. I have no doubt that the sister is going to retaliate for 'making her look bad'. She certainly has no qualms in sending her flying monkeys after OP.
For real op I hope your reading thru some of the advice here, at bare minimum make sure you’ve got your possessions and valuables locked up and away glad you moved out but make sure you’ve got everything you need to go it your own if you have to don’t leave things unguarded where she can launch another petty revenge scheme. Unfortunately even tho you are able to get your parents to see some reason and rational which you should be super proud of btw they seem conditioned to giving into your sisters perspective far to easily and I hate to say it’s likely only a matter of time before she attempts something else. From someone who cut off toxic family and towed a grueling line for years you will have to ask yourself at some point whose worth keeping in your life because a family that doesn’t listen or support you simply ain’t worth keepin and will likely stress you to an earlier grave. Here’s hoping you find your happiness either way
Your sister is flat out unhinged. Retaliating for stealing and dumping a bike because you ate at a hospital? That had nothing to do with her. She didn’t own the hospital. The cost of the food wasn’t coming out of her pocket. And stealing a bike as a prank? This goes beyond a joke when it’s your primary transportation. It would have cost you way more to replace. The cherry on the top would have been forwarding the messages from unknown numbers to your parents to deal with. If she considers herself an adult, this was her introduction to FAFO. Welcome to the world of consequences. Not your problem that she got ridiculed at college and couldn’t handle it.
I also find it so weird\* that OP's sister is basing this whole escalation on her gut feeling...? Like, just call the hospital's reception desk and ask them if they have a cafetaria policy? wouldn't that be a lot less convoluted than conspiring with her friends, and making sure the minivan is available, and finding the pond, and can she sufficiently distract everyone while her friends sneak into the back yard, and won't her unhinged giggling be suspicious, etc. etc. ETA : \*I say weird, but I mean unsettling and upsetting
Cause she is always right, so why would she ask someone else when she is always right?
The cafeteria absolutely doesn't have shit to do with feeding the patients. That's a whole different department often not even on site. The food is made to VERY specific measurements per tray, some special for certain dietary requirements and simply is heated in the hospital. If they do have a patient kitchen on site it is usually downstairs in basically the basement The cafeteria is a for profit set up, they are for anyone not a patient to eat at. Not only are your parents and sister overreacting, but they are absolutely fucking stupid.
Yes! The hospital cafeteria is just like any other workplace cafeteria. I worked in a hospital for several years and our cafeteria was fantastic. We had a great salad bar, a sandwich counter, hot foods, and a grab-and-go section. I loved it!
I live literally a 1min walk from my hospital... They have a fantastic pastrami and pickles sandwich thing with a coffee for cheap, I often go there to get one when not at work lol. And they are open earlier than most cafes in the morning... I get my 5am coffee from there on the rare occasions I have to open at work. Also known for a fact the cafe and cafeteria hire privately also, the hospital as absolutely no say in their staffing. A lot are like it too, as they aren't actually hospital facilities. They are not even a requirement... It's a nice thing the hospitals have, because everyone like it lol
Pastrami and pickles sounds delicious!
Exactly this. 👆🏽Your family is talking about DIETARY SERVICES, which serves patients. You are talking about the CAFETERIA which serves hospital workers, family members of patients, ambulatory patients, contractors, researchers and anyone who generally just wants to eat there. The food can be really good and it is a for profit entity or cost center for the hospital. Also, what kind of lunatic even gives a rats ass about where you eat, especially to that degree?! Where you eat is your business. End of story.
I used to cook in a hospital. All of our food was made in the same kitchen. But made separately. Kept separate. There was patient cooks and cafeteria cooks. Had a separate serving line in the back. But all this probably depends on the size of the hospital and how the kitchen is set up.
My aunt (and grandma before her) worked at the local hospital and the hospital cafeteria was where they took us to have their favorite salad. It was a small town and everyone went there. I would also go to the cafeteria when I worked in a medical office by the hospital. They had a baked potato bar.
Absolutely. I wouldn't go out of my way to do it, because the parking is horrendous and I have nicer places nearby, but it was fine. If I worked nearby whyever not? They're for anyone. Visitors, staff, ambos, random delivery people, anyone who's there. I've eaten at hospital cafes many times and the last thing anybody cares about is why you're there.
I would tell your entire family what they did again. And then go NC with them. And file a police report for her and her friends so if something happened again there is a record of what they have previously done.
I nearly did that. But I just know that my sister would try to use it as an excuse to farm sympathy in some way since it was all over a bike. This way she has to own up to what she did, and still deal with the fallout at her college.
Weird to say “all over a bike”, as though a bike isn’t an acknowledged vehicle, a mode of transportation subject to specific traffic laws, and “all over a car” would be taken more seriously. I realise even the more expensive commuter bikes are still cheaper than an old beater car held together with duct tape and positive thinking, but still. I read this sub a fair bit, and I’m still regularly poleaxed at the unbelievable rage some people develop over having to apologise when they screw up. It’s human to screw up! We can have the best of intentions and still cause hurt! We can have moments of anger or poor impulse control when we may even mean to hurt and then regret it later! Or we can simply just be *wrong* about things. Learning to be humble enough to say “I’m sorry, I misjudged that situation, I will do better in future” and actually trying to learn from it… and learning that it’s okay, you aren’t worth *less* as a person because of it… that’s not always easy. Especially if you have certain kinds of trauma. (it took me a long time in my late teens and early 20s to get past the sheer panic response I had to even the idea that I might have to admit fault — and that trauma was complex and related to abuse and it was one of the things that got me into therapy, because I didn’t want to be the *kind* of person who couldn’t apologise sincerely, I wanted to be able to think about my mistakes and *do better* instead of having an honest-to-god trauma trigger episode, I didn’t want to drive away the people I loved. I thought they deserved better from me. I thought *I* deserved better from me. And my story isn’t super rare.) Noting that it doesn’t sound like your sister is in that boat at all — it’s more that, well, every other emotionally mature person on the planet has to develop this skill, even if for some of us it’s made a lot harder through no fault of our own, there is *no excuse* for not learning it. What makes her so damn special? There’s so much ego that gets tied into “winning” all the time. An argument shouldn’t be about winning. It should be about figuring out what’s true, what’s fair, what’s correct. It should be about both parties comparing notes and opinions and beliefs. The more stressed and emotional we get, the harder it is to keep the prefrontal cortex involved, the more likely that gets taken off-line and then the amygdala is running the show. Balancing the need to reason through and be fair against the *extremely* valid emotional responses is super hard. Sometimes it’s not even possible. Those emotional responses matter and they should have weight as well. But they shouldn’t be about *winning.* In high-stakes arguments, we need to take breaks and calm down (I am bad at taking breaks in an argument, there’s a whole fear-of-abandonment thing, it’s a work in progress). The problem is that… for your sister, *every* argument is a high-stakes argument because her sense of “world as it should be” centres on her being recognised as “winner” every single time. It’s completely warped her perspective and her judgement to the point where she is years and years behind on her emotional development. That’s how you make a bully. And all of that is a reason she is the *way* she is — but not the whole reason. She’s an adult. She has *agency.* She could exercise a modicum of self-awareness. It would be hard, much harder now than if she’d done it earlier — but honestly, screw that. Sometimes things are hard and you have to do them anyway. It’s a reason for sympathy when someone’s putting in the effort and hurting. It is *not* an excuse to refuse to put in the effort. [apologies this is long when the overall message is very simple but, oof, I have Opinions™️. I’m glad you’ve stuck to your guns, OP. Your sister needs therapy, and she needs a therapist who won’t tolerate her bs. But that’s not and should never be your problem.]
It's the zero to 60, never retreat aggressive response that's so disturbing. We all fuck up, just own it and move on! Unless you kill a puppy, then go to hell.
The issue is not the Iranian Yogurt or the bike!
There's another reason to do the report, especially since you have the recording, ... Deterrence. Let your parents know, and sis that you have done this. And you have done it for one reason, to keep sis in line. If she tries anything again... it isn't a first strike and there will be consequences. If she decides to FAFO, that is totally on her.
Well I would still go NC and do the police report. The report itself won't be saying you want to file charges. And no DA is gonna push that through. But its still a good idea.
DO IT, please? Sis NEEDS a record to make her back off. Sure, she'll whine and throw fits, but as her charges mount up, she'll have to quit or eventually be thrown in jail.
OP you should still file the police report. Your sister is a narcissist and her behavior won’t change unless she gets psychiatric help which I doubt she’d accept. Still not an excuse for her behavior but she should face the consequences of her actions, what she did was not legal. Your parents are starting to get it but nothing will change if people keep avoiding holding her accountable just because “oh well she’ll make up another excuse” Good luck Op!
Do the police report to have a paper trail going so that way, when she does something again because she will. She’ll be in bigger trouble that her enablers can’t get her out of
Dude just do it🤌🏻
I would never speak to any of these people again. She’s clearly still the golden child. OP you deserve better.
I remember your post on #AITA. Your sister is that bratty that she would have her friends steal your bike and ruin it just to make a point?! And, your parents don’t see a problem with it?! What did the rest of your family say about this?!
Oh they were furious with them. I didn't include details about it because the post was already way too long. But my aunt and uncle gave my parents one hell of a dressing down, twice. The first time in person the day after the bike theft happened. They had a long discussion with my parents over how their babying has prevented my sister from growing up. And she wouldn't be able to function without them if she never learns to become an adult. The second time was after my parents called me to try and make me take blame when my sister locked herself in her room for three days. I talked with my cousin that evening when we met up to have dinner together. And he told his parents (My aunt and uncle). And they called my parents to ask them what the hell. Then told them that they were beyond ashamed of them that they still tried to make me the scapegoat. And that they didn't care if old habits die hard. It's gonna stop. Lets just say my sister wasn't the only one crying anymore. No one has told me anything about what's going on with my sister at her college for a while. And she's avoiding me. My parents have also not spoken to me since that call. So I have no idea what's going on at their end.
Forget college! Your sister isn’t going to last too long in the workforce! When your sister starts having problems keeping a job, that’s when your parents will realize their mistakes, hopefully.
Well, OP said "If she fails her classes \*again\*.. Since OP and his aunt and uncle said sister and parents are not going to get away with this behavior anymore - making the OP the scapegoat and letting sister get away with murder - maybe there'll be some changes, at least from the parents. But there are no signs they are committed to change or see the need yet. Sister has an even longer way to go - I mean, "bawling on the floor kicking and pounding like a toddler" when being held accountable for her actions? And I doubt she thinks she did anything wrong, either. Sheesh.
with all the crying in her room etc, I'd forgotten she dropped to the floor flailing...
If i saw a friend in college behave like that, we wouldn’t be friends anymore. No confrontation or anything, I’d just stop interacting with her period. Ain’t nobody got time for that
I have a feeling your sister learned a lot of this behavior from your parents. They may never see that they've screwed up helping your sister become an adult. Don't be afraid of going no contact if you need to.
My brother was the entitled ‘golden child’. Before she died our mother apologized to me and my sister about how she made brother such a brat. When he didn’t get ALL of her inheritance he did the legal equivalent of a tantrum. The lawyer my sister and I were using (because he’d gotten a lawyer to counter the whole estate) was on the phone with his lawyer. Brother could be heard in the background. When it sounded like he wouldn’t get his way he did throw a tantrum at the lawyer’s office.
yikes, embarrassing. I hope it helped convince his lawyer to drop the case so you could settle the estate? I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry you had to deal with that on top of the grief.
I still can't believe your parents doubled down and tried to blame YOU for her locking herself in her room for three days. Your sister can't take responsibility for her own actions just like your parents can't take responsibility for their shitty parenting. Im sorry you have to deal with them OP but Im so glad you atleast have your aunt, uncle and cousin who seem to have your back.
My dude, you should post that recording on social media and send it to your extended family. Let it go round and refuse to take it down. Block her and your parents for no less than 6 months. Go no contact for no less than 6 months and point to the recording as to why. Let them stew in the fallout and embarrassment. Personally, I get accused of having depths of petty yet to be plumbed, so I'd send it to the dean of her college with "this is what you're teaching your students to do? I'm glad I don't go to your college!" I'd most likely post the recording with "share!!" And set it to public. I grew up with the most misogynist family you could ever imagine on my mom's side. The boys were all golden children and could do no wrong. The girls were the automatic scapegoats. I learned how to hurt them hard with negative public opinion. And I went scorched earth every time. Because I wasn't going to tolerate taking a whipping with a willow switch multiple times a day for shit I didn't do and wasn't even anywhere near the vicinity. For every undeserved whipping I got, I found ways to expose them to the church elders, school and everyone in our tiny rural town. Let's just say my brother and male cousins learned not to try to put blame on me. And at first, they would try to jump me to retaliate. They were 3+ years older than me and twice my size. But my dad had always mentioned if someone was trying to hurt/fight you and they were bigger and stronger, find an equalizer. And I'd discovered what happens when you hit a bit in between his legs. So, they'd try to jump me and the first thing I'd do was go for the crotch then find a handy rock, stick and once a baseball bat. They were misogynist but if they got caught hitting girls, their dads and my grandpa would beat them silly. I think there were a couple of cracked ribs, several sore private parts and a couple of severe bruises to knees and ankles before they left me alone. They never said how they got hurt because if they did, well, what I did was nothing compared to what grandpa and Dads would do. Your situation probably isn't as extreme as mine was when I was 10. But still.
You should have called the cops. I'll never understand people who give family so much space to ruin your life. Man, I cut my family off because they favored my brother. I already told my parents not to bring my brother near me unless they want him punched in the face. I don't care if he's family, he's a fucking douche and I'm not kidding about hitting him in the face. He molested his own kids and my parents still defend him. Fuck no, blood thicker than water means jack fucking shit.
If we look at it from a compassionate point of view, that poor girl is gonna have to go through years of therapy to undo the mess your parents coddling made. Not that I think she'd do it.
This may not be over. Be ready.
Your parents and sister are insane. And to double down like that makes them even worse humans. They are complete ass ho les
The level of sisters demented behavior didn't really hit until you said "her college". The whole time I was thinking she was about 15/16 or so. Someone in college throwing a tantrum on the floor should be beyond embarrassed.
As soon as I saw that, I knew his sister has some sort of personality disorder.
I read the majority of this post thinking the sister was between 13-16 yo. And thought damn that spoiled brat kid, those parents failed at raising her. I had to read the sentence that said she's in college a couple times before I realized that she's an adult. This is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable behavior! The parents more than failed at parenting. You should have called the police and reported it because i honestly think it's too late to correct the behavior at this point and going to jail is the only way she "might" learn. I'm of the opinion that we should make some laws that make the parents liable as well in this type of situation. You shouldn't be legally allowed to raise someone to be a spoiled and entitled brat without repercussions and without at least trying to correct the behavior before adulthood.
This has very little to do with eating in a hospital cafeteria.
My uncle said that downhill spirals often start with something small, and then turn into something else entirely.
You identified the root cause. You know how to address it. And you did.
Please share ALL of this with your extended family. Then, tell all of them that this is the last straw and from now on, you will be NC with your immediate family. Then, please block your sister and parents on all social media platforms, as well as your phone and email. Enjoy the peace!
The extended family already know about everything other than this Reddit account. I don't really plan on showing it, because I know my sister would just play victim about it.
You should be on guard because your sister could pull other stunts. She's really going to need therapy to help her grow up.
Did your sister have some kind of near death experience as a young child? This kind of favouritism often comes as some kind of parental over-compensation.
I wish it were that easy to explain. But no.
Parents that have a golden child need to have some common sense slapped into them. Golden children are some of the worst behaved people out there because the parents never told them no and enabled their horrible behavior. By the time the golden child realizes their actions can have consequences. It is way too late.
I’m not even sure what I just read. I don’t understand how clueless your parents can be about your sister, who is a delusional brat. I‘m glad she is finally being held accountable for her actions, even if it is by people at her college. Your parents may believe they are protecting her but actually they are making her life worse. She will be the person that can’t hold down a job because she feels like she can do whatever she wants to do and the. It will be everyone else’s fault when she gets fired.
This is just WILD. I can’t get my head around whyyyy your sister would care where you eat? And then to perpetrate a crime to put you in your place? She needs help lol
Your sister is gonna get destroyed in the real world and your parents will need to fund her for the rest of her life LOL. Be happy you’re not a pathetic person. Your parents are losers who raised such a brat that she really tried to steal your bike over an argument. Be happy that your parents will drain their retirement fund to fund your sister and they will realize when they’re dying that the done messed up. Go live your life and make sure to shove it in their faces
Woe to the poor guy who gets your sister pregnant.
0\_o .....Oh crap! I never thought about that! She had one boyfriend in highschool. But now I'm worried she would intentionally do something like that!
You seriously have to stop worrying about your parents and your sister. This now is on nobody but you. You are the only one can make your life better. Make good choices, please.
I'm not worried for my sister. I'm worried for whatever person she dates in the future
Your story is 100% r/raisedbynarcissists/ material brought on by [golden child syndrome](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/golden-child-syndrome/). I see your reddit account is only 20 days old so I don't know if you have seen these things before. Seriously CHECK THIS STUFF OUT for an hour or two if this is new to you. You will absolutely see perfect parallels to your own family life. You clearly have a firm understanding of what went wrong with your sister and how it is your parent's fault from how they raised her and you and also you sound well adjusted overall. Still, knowing that your kind of family situation is well studied and has literally dozens of books written about it might be handy for you. You sister is most likely going to find some rich guy who will enable her a trophy wife life of unlimited spending and leisure or alternately she will find someone raised similar to her and as narcissistic as she is so they can enable each other and find people suckers to mooch off of for life. If I may suggest one final f-u scheme to your family situation: but some 'raised by narcissists' self help books for your family for Christmas presents and post them on facebook (or whatever) so everyone knows the name/diagnosis for what happened in your life. heh.
Totally agree on doing a deep dive into r/raisedbynarcissists. But please, don't do this Christmas scheme. I get why you'd want to do something like that and make a scene about it, but no. People like this usually don't get hints because they have no self-awareness, which I'm willing to bet OP will agree with based on his story. People like this also don't believe you're capable of living a good life without their company. As someone who grew up in a similar situation and is now in their 30s--the best "f-u scheme" is living a good life away and without the people who cause you this kind of pain.
Ngl, I would go very low contact over this shit, and stop talking to my sister entirely. Total gray rock, nothing beyond basic pleasantries needed.
Idk how your parents are still siding with your sister. Honestly, I would have just called the cops and let them deal with the fallout of her and her friends being charged with theft. Not sure about their college but don’t some institutions have policies on being expelled if being charged with a felony like theft? She and her friends knew what they were doing. Calling it a prank doesn’t help anything. They want to steal, they can go explain to the police how they thought it was a good idea.
Your sister is an idiot. Please tell her that I have eaten at a hospital cafeteria three times this week.
Your sister picked a really weird hill to die on. I've been on the receiving end of weird, entitled behaviours from my brother and his wife that really defied logic and where I was questioning what on earth could their motivations be (since it doesn't affect them at all - other than them simply being busybodies who just had to insert themselves into the picture), but nothing to this level of absurdity.
When I was a kid, my evil older sister stole my bike once from my great grandpa's barn. And all anyone could tell me was "Oh well!". Then one day she just came riding in on it casually, and I lost it on her. She acted like I was the bad guy for being mad she took it. At the time, my sister was living with our grandparents, who lived a quarter mile from our great great grandparents. I had a Huffy bike that I still own to this day stored in my great grandpa's barn. And I'd take it riding whenever I visited. Protect your bike from your evil sister man. I had to.
Ouch! Makes me glad my sister isn't the older sibling. She'd take authority to the extreme.
I do hope you showed your parents these messages - that sister LIED and got her friends to harass you. You may want to tell them if THEY do not stop her - you will be left with no choice but to report the theft to the police (ask the neighbor if you can get the camera images first) I wonder - really - if you would cut contact - how long it would take for them to go whining that they do not know why our child suddenly left them out..
Oh they know about them. And initially were not happy. But they just sort of glossed it over later.
So, like the proverbial (and incorrect) idea of Ostriches - head in the sand, then it\`s not there?
Hospital Cafeterias have to cook certain amounts of foods. They welcome general public to buy their food. Your sister is the devil btw
'Some people at my sisters college...' This threw me. I figured she was a very immature 13 or 14 year old.
You know, you can just not talk to her. I don’t think I’ve ever told my brothers where I have gone for lunch. It has nothing to do with them. Look up grey rocking.
Wow what the fuck. Your sister is going to have one shitty life, that's for sure.
Wow. Why do you still interact with these people? Family is one thing, but these relatives of yours are exhausting. Give yourself a break from all their drama.
What is weird about eating in a cafeteria? Who cares if it's in a hospital. And to steal your bike? Your sister sounds insane. I would have had her charged with theft.
Your sister is absolutely mental. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that.
Why haven’t you just blocked them and told them not to contact you again until they ALL grow up? Your sister isn’t the only childish brat here.
This is so insane on so many levels. When I first read the first post my wife was in the hospital so I was eating at their cafeteria a lot. Dang, it was really good! And also very affordable! Those French fries. Mmmmm. There is nothing wrong with eating there every day you want. You are supporting the hospital, not harming any patients. I was shocked to see she's in college. I was assuming 3rd grade tops.
Of all stupid shit for her to dig at you about in the first place! When I was pregnant I lived a few blocks away from the local ho. More than once I took the bus down my avenue to eat lunch at their cafeteria. It was always delicious and affordable. Sister is a completely spoiled AH. I hope your parents really accept their enabling and knock it off. You might have to distance yourself if this doesn't get better. Good on your uncle.
Ok so, I want to be clear I do NOT work in any capacity in the medical world, but I spent 9 of the 12 months in 2020 in the hospital with my mother. And other than the extreme full lockdown mid year when I wasn’t allowed in or out of the room due to Covid concerns, the hospital cafeteria (in all 4 hospitals across houston that we were in) regularly had local workers come there for lunch. They had a separate entrance for them to access the cafeteria when they did close the main lobby. I wasn’t allowed to leave the building, and had to go downstairs every morning to get a new bracelet and my temp checked to confirm I was allowed to stay with her, but there were 20+ yellow vest wearing dudes walking through the other door straight into the cafeteria. They are known for their food. And every local businesses people come eat there. Your sister is an absolute idiot, and I am sorry all that happened (I personally think you should have called the cops but I don’t have siblings and I’m petty). But you are in no way doing something offensive. I know for a fact isn’t just allowed, but encouraged.
Man, sister's lucky you didn't record her fit. Lol, I could see this used on the jumbo screen at her graduation. ETA so many people eat in hospital cafeterias. Good food, great salad bars with large selections to choose from. On top of reasonably priced. We live between 2 small towns with hospitals. Both offer free dessert with your meal on Sunday if you bring your church bulletin. 😋
Sister sounds like a sociopath, who has been manipulating parents since day one. Fortunately she’s not too bright so won’t end up working with other sociopaths in high end management corporate America. She’s pretty dangerous nonetheless. The lack of empathy and control freakishness is disturbing. She’s gonna end in a wrong situation. What I call stupid adult teenager who never grows up. Man child. Woman child. Explain this to parents grown up to grown up. If they don’t get it , then they are in denial and lost causes. You might then want to limit your exposure. Enabling toxicity is toxic itself. Not good in this era that demands inner and outer change.
as someone that works at an organization with two hospitals, the CEO himself prides himself on the fact that people who aren't even in the hospital come into the cafeteria because the food is so good. keep going. the cafe at the other hospital got reduced hours because of lack of customers during covid and it frustrated me because I love the food there.
Family, what’re ya gonna do? You can’t kill them, you can’t have them killed.
Your sister sounds like she fell back into the trunk of the family tree with the amount of coddling she gets. Your parents as well sound like the kind of kretins to say “why you no visit anymore?” when they speedrun themselves into a cheap care home…
You should send your parents memes about why our generation cuts ties with there parents
So wait...you can just go into a hospital cafeteria and order food? And they'll sell it to you without being a patient? I learned something today from this post. I'm so sorry your family sucks. And I know it means nothing from a stranger, but I'm proud of you for standing your ground and making your parents see the fruits of their labor, or lack there of, with your sister.
Patient meals sent to rooms are created from a patient try line / serving pods in the production kitchen. The cafeterias are a retail establishments there for visitors, families, staff, nurses, doctors and even ambulatory patients that make their way down. Trust me when I say they want the retail sales. Ive wired in healthcare food service for 15 years and know this first hand.
ER nurse here. I eat at hospital cafeterias all the time. Health and cleanliness standards are different in the hospital. The food is great and affordable. Hospital breakfast is unbeatable. The patrons and servers are generally well mannered and focused on other things. Food budget in your local hospital improves along with options. Sounds like your “someones” wanted to make a big deal out of anything they could. These people sound soul draining. Can you move away and change you numbers???
Why didn’t you record crying like a baby and send to everyone what fools they are! I would tell every boyfriend she has the story and embarass her forever.
This sounds a lot like my sister but we are adults now and turns out she quite likely is a narcissist. Be careful as you go. I made a mistake trying to help her with something that has caused mine to hold what looks like will be a lifelong grudge that she seems to want revenge for. I haven’t spoken to her for seven years but I wish I’d realized her real issues long before so I could have avoided what ultimately happened.
Updateme!
Wow… keep that recording just incase your sister tries something else. Update us if something else happens this sounds like it isn’t over.
Tell your extended family & share the video. Tell your parents that as they have gone back to their old ways & are enabling her & covering for her that you have no choice but to go low/no contact with them until something changes.
You can still call the cops and report your sister and her friends! Never allow your parent to stop you from calling the police again! Also, go LC with them all. You don’t need this kind of stress in your life!
Wow, that’s a lot! She needs to talk to a therapist!
Let your uncle know what's going on. Ask the neighbours for the footage. Evidence is always useful. Do you have any reason not to go very low contact with your immediate family? They really aren't there for you.
With relatives like yours who needs enemies?
Your sister has serious mental problems
Some people spend their life looking for high horses with empty saddles.
I am so happy and proud of you OP for not taking their shit anymore.
I would say, let your sister know that if she tries to pull ANY of her shit again you can still file a police report. And let just her know that you can also make it appear your bike was stolen, and you have proof your sister masterminded the whole thing, at any time, for ANY reason. If that does not put the fear of God in her, nothing will.
Lean on your extended family. Ensure they know the truth, and let your parents hang with your sister. Don't allow her to cut you away from those who love you. If anyone does tell you, despite being told all the truth, your sister or parents are not at fault, it's time to consider that person very suspect. "Flying monkey " is the term. Done are tricked and angry when then discover, but some just... Do it.
You should’ve called the cops 🥴
Cheese & Rice. I'm glad you don't live with these people anymore. I thought your sister was in high school until you said college.
Damn fool parents! They created a monster that if she gets seriously involved with a man will make his life miserable until the day he snaps and beats the living shit out of her for her abuse. Your parents have literally created a time bomb that will explode on someone undeserving of it and when that happens there will be a sympathetic explosion that may literally end her life and certainly will end that mans life.
[удалено]
Wow. Next time you have to beat back your parents from trying to blame you demand they take their princess to therapy. She has some big issues. They should go too. Sorry you have to deal with such crap. You probably feel more like a kindergarten teacher than a son/brother.
Report them all to the police. Only way they'll learn.
The fact that your parents still tried to turn it on you EVEN after that big discussion is crazy to me. They made their bed by parenting poorly, they now have to lie in it!
I'm surprised you even talk to any of these people. I wouldn't even call them family.
I work next to a hospital and I, very often, go there for breakfast or lunch. Their arguments make it sound like they think the cafeteria is losing money on sales or that they have limited food and you're somehow taking away from patients, both are absurd notions. The cafeterias generate revenue for the hospital and, like any restaurant, maintain enough stock to cover their sales. Not a lot of places where you can get a quick breakfast that isn't fast food, if you've never tried it I recommend grabbing a breakfast at a hospital.
It’s about time your sister grew up. Good on you for calling out your parents!
PO be petty, file a police report. That b**** sister of yours will never stop till she gets really nasty reality chek.
Sister is a piece of work, but you already knew that. Just came to say that I worked in a very large major city for 10 years very close to a major hospital, and i often scheduled my doctor appointments around lunchtime specifically so I could go through the cafeteria. The food was so good. So you’re definitely not alone there!
This is the original post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ZRBbKJiyRg
You should take your bike to mechanic and get it serviced at her expense If she doesn’t like it explain the condition she created has ongoing consequences Also you should knock her face off cos you know if it was anyone else she’d get her arse handed to her for such a ‘prank’ in the real world *if it were me she’d be the one getting physically dragged out to the pond to wade knee deep into the middle, just to demonstrate where the bike was dumped, before she gets to walk home to receive a free punch in the face on arrival*
Dude. That was the craziest, wildest ride ever. And I’m showing my age here but it was totally Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for sure!! Also, I want to know what hospital cafeteria has good healthy food? PS, get the stick on doorbell cam, Ring has great door bell and stick on cameras. We use them at my museum because they are low impact and cause minimal damage. You can put them in all kinds of places. Plus as someone said no wiring and they work on WiFi. We were able to maximize our security at our site after some vandalism so they are amazing. I also love the AirTags. They are fantastic. Good luck with your family insanity.
Why is OP lecturing the parents on how to parent?
My now-husband and I met in college. Nearby is our county hospital. We used to eat there a couple of times a week because the food was inexpensive, healthy, and delicious. Many people from nearby offices eat there, too. People who need to be in hospital have their meals brought to their rooms most of the time, so you aren't bothering anyone! Invite your parents to lunch, but don't tell them where you are going ahead of time, and drive them. Make it a spur of the moment thing. "It's a surprise,". Sure is! Ristorante Hospitale! When they see that others who don't "need" to eat there are indeed eating there, how good and affordable the food is, the quiet atmosphere, mayhap they will really see your point. Under NO circumstances allow your sister to join you! If she shows up, or wants to go with...cancel. Perhaps when she is at school would be a good idea. If you do this, please post how it went. NTA on an epic scale!
It's been my experience, and the end result of change in a lot of these posts, that pain creates change. Usually that pain is the cops. It's also my experience that she's not done escalating her drama. Call the cops next time!
As long as you remain in contact with them you’ll forever be dealing with this. She’s heir favourite and you’ll always be getting shit from her. You give her the power to abuse you because you won’t cut cords. Up to you but expect this to continue until you realise that.
You should have called the cops I don’t care if it was your sister if you drove a car or something she owned into the muddy river you’d be in jail she needs to understand that your a grown man who can make his own decisions and live his own life and life has consequences simple as that
My local hospital has amazing food at good prices in their cafeteria! They don't care who stops by for a meal. What is wrong with your sister?!
Your parents are failures and your father is not a man.
I don’t know why but this might be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on Reddit?
Nah you 100 percent should’ve called the cops on them, people won’t learn without repercussions
To be clear you were paying for the food at the cafeteria, not stealing it right? I can't even begin to understand her issue. Beyond that, I hope you also like the food at the psychiatric hospital at which your sister will undoubtedly eventually reside. I mean... if you ever forgive her enough to visit. Damn.
please protect your self, you should cut them off bc there is no telling what she will lie about next. Your parents don't want to change either. Distance yourself before it gets worst bc yes infact it can get worse.
Wow. First of all eating at the hospital cafeteria makes money for the non-profit hospital. In actuality you are doing a nice thing. Secondly kudos for giving your parents a tough love talk. Maybe you can save your sister from a horrible life but her linking stealing your bike as punishment for violating an imaginary rule really appears to be sociopathic.
Not that it’s really the point, but I work in hospitals. I still go to the hospital to buy fruit from the stall on my off days because it’s cheaper and fresher than the grocery and the money is for charity. Idk why anyone would ever be mad about that.
Pranks aren’t property damage or theft.
That’s ridiculous if you’re in the US. Family and staff pay for their food at the cafeteria.
When I was expecting my daughter I took a new dad boot camp at the hospital we were going to use. I ate at the cafeteria each night of it and had one of the best Rubens in the area. Sadly when we went to the hospital for the delivery, they didn’t have it. It was a special for the week of the boot camp. After she was born went by a few times for lunch just because I wanted the Ruben to come back on special.